“Everything it seems I like is a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker a little bit harmful for me..Oh, and did I forget to mention, I’m just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish a little bit tower of Pisa, whenever I see you, so please be kind if I’m a mess.”-Rufus Wainwright

May 3rd, 2007

An hour passed, Brian was napping while Justin, in a borrowed a pair of sweatpants, was cleaning the mess in the kitchen. All that was left to do was turn on the dishwasher and he was done. After setting the washer, he decided to go and have a nap himself.

He tiptoed down the hall and as he neared Brian’s room, he could hear mumbling and the sound of sheets tossing.“No,” he heard Brian cry out loudly.

Justin jumped in his skin and ran into Brian’s room. The man was rolling around on the bed, lost in a day-mare, his hands clutched at one of the amber colored pillows. “Please Daddy!”

Justin’s stomach turned when he heard Brian whimper those words.

He did not know what he was supposed to do! But he had to help Brian! He loved Brian and did not want to see the man in the pain. “Brian, Brian, baby, come on! Wake up, baby!” Justin threw himself on top of Brian, trying to stop the man’s struggles.

“Stop it, Daddy. I’m sorry, I will listen!” Brian cried out. He’d not fully come awake but his hands had released his pillow and his arms circled Justin’s back pulling him closer.

Justin pressed his body on top of Brian’s, trying to comfort the man and make him wake up. “Brian, come on wake up it’s me, Justin,” he whispered in Brian’s ear.

“Justin!” Brian was immediately awake. His eyes shot open and he looked at Justin with tears in his eyes. ”Oh, shit!” he thought. Brian realized that once again, he had become a total freak in front of Justin. He knew he talked in his sleep and he wondered how much Justin had heard. He certainly remembered the dream, or rather, the memory. What had he said?

“It’s okay Brian,” Justin said, seeing the embarrassment in Brian’s eyes. He’d only known the man for a few hours, but he’d already realized that Brian’s eyes were the windows to all of his emotions. “Do you feel up to talking now?” Justin asked, still sitting on top of Brian’s body.

“I…I think so,” Brian said quietly. “Will you…” He trailed off, not having the courage to voice what it was he truly wanted from Justin. He closed his eyes tightly.

“What is it, Brian?” Justin asked moving off the man and leaning against the back of the bed before pulling Brian into his arms.

Brian went willingly into the other man’s arms. He couldn’t believe that another soul could read him so well. “Hold me,” he said, finishing his sentence.

Justin had to swallow and push his emotions and tears down. He squeezed Brian tighter and he felt Brian’s body begin to shake.

“I’m here Brian,” Justin whispered. “I’m right here.”

Brian gave into a new round of sobs. This time, his tears were not out of fear, frustration or anger. He felt so comfortable with Justin. The man he loved. He still couldn’t believe that after all this time Justin was right here in his room, in his bed, holding him.

Justin ran his fingers through Brian’s locks of hair. He could barely hear the quiet whimpering coming from the man he held, but he did hear it, and it broke his heart. Justin knew that he had to be strong enough to keep holding on to Brian.

Brian buried his head deeper into Justin’s shirt. He inhaled the blond boy’s smell as though his life depended on it. Taking in Justin’s warmth and smell, Brian felt a calm breeze through his body. Then he felt a strength surge through him. He forced himself to look up at the man that was holding him. Justin was crying.

Justin didn’t even realize that he had indeed been crying until he saw Brian’s worried expression. He felt the tips of Brian’s fingers brush away the wetness on his face. “You are so beautiful,” Brian told him sitting up to face him.

Justin blushed and put his head down a little, “Thank you. So are you. That’s what I thought the first time that I saw you.”

Brian wiped his tears from his eyes. “The first time I saw you I wanted to talk to you so bad, but then…..” Brian trailed off. He did not want to let Justin know how much the boy’s mother and friend’s words had hurt him that day.

“But then you heard my mom and Daphne talking and that spoiled everything,” Justin said sadly. “But that doesn’t matter anymore. They don’t matter. I am here with you now. Nothing’s going to change that.”

“You don’t know that Justin,” Brian said softly. “You don’t know my past.”

Justin put Brian’s hands in his own, “I may not know all of the details of your past, but that isn’t going to stop me from being here with you in the present and in the future.” Justin was trying to remain optimistic.

“I’m not right in the head Justin. I don’t know what Cynthia told you. But I know what I am and I don’t want to cause trouble for you. What…what you saw today was one of my more mild outbursts Justin.”

Justin’s heart was breaking. “I don’t care. I want to be with you. I have wanted to be with you since I saw you. Then when I read your articles about me, God Brian.” Justin leaned in and kissed Brian’s cheek and whispered, “I fell hopelessly in love with you Brian Kinney.”

Brian was shocked. Had Justin just said that he loved him? No. That couldn’t be possible. How could anyone love a man like him? Let alone the beautiful talented artist Justin Taylor. Brian couldn’t believe his own ears. But then, he looked once again into Justin’s eyes and saw the love in them. It was undeniable.

No one had ever looked at him that way before. No one. “I love you too Justin,” the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Before Brian could analyze them anymore in his head, he felt Justin’s arms encircle his body. His skin tingled at the touch.

Justin wanted Brian. It was as though they were opposite sides of a magnet, pulled together. His lips found Brian’s lips and they began to taste and devour each other as though they had done it before a million times.

Neither man noticed when they had both gotten rid of their clothing but soon their naked bodies entwined together on the sheets.

Brian lay panting and scared under Justin’s body. He wanted Justin to make love to him, but he was not sure if he could let someone so close to him.

Justin stared into Brian’s hazel eyes. He saw the fear in them and stopped his hands from exploring the man’s large penis. “We don’t have to do this Brian,” Justin said breathlessly.

Brian stared up at Justin. The boy was beautiful. He looked and felt like the angel that used to hold him in his dreams when he was a child. A tingling passed through his body and he felt himself relax under Justin’s comforting weight. He was not scared anymore. He wanted Justin. “I want you inside me,” Brian said, his voice lustful.

Justin nodded his head. “I…I...haven’t ever done this before Brian,” he confessed.

Brian smiled, “Just take it easy. It can’t be that hard.”

Justin laughed and stroked his cock, “Oh, believe me, it is.”

They both laughed for a minute and then Justin leaned down and kissed Brian, “I want to be inside you. Do you have any condoms?”

Brian smiled, embarrassed. He reached into his night table drawer and pulled out a few.

Justin watched in awe as Brian ripped the packet open with his teeth and put the lubricated condom on his cock. He almost came when Brian’s hands encircled his penis but thankfully, the older man took his hand away before he did.

Justin kneeled in between Brian’s spread legs and slowly pushed them up to his chest. He looked closely at Brian’s tight, small hole. He had watched a few porno movies, had looked at many gay magazines, and always imagined having sex. Now that it was real and not just fantasy, he was a little unsure of the mechanics.

“Justin…” Brian moaned. His heart was racing and he just wanted to feel Justin inside him already!

Justin leaned in and started to kiss Brian’s soft folds of flesh.

“Oh, God!” Brian keened.

Justin smiled and dove in. He kissed and sucked Brian’s virgin hole until he heard Brian begging him for more. However, Justin wasn’t finished. The taste of Brian was addicting and he did not ever want to stop his feast.

“Please Justin, please fuck me now,” Brian begged. He was completely lost in pleasure. Nothing mattered in the entire world but himself and Justin. He felt open and free. He didn’t care about cleanliness or being orderly, this was what was pure.

Justin darted his tongue in and out of Brian’s folds. His own cock was leaking into the condom and he knew that they were both close, so he stopped his actions and got into position.

Brian looked into Justin’s eyes. “I want it,” he told his soon-to-be lover and wrapped his long legs around Justin’s slim waist.

With shaky hands, Justin put his condom-covered cock against Brian’s entrance and pushed the head in.

“Oh god, Justin!” Brian whimpered. It was so fucking painful, but it felt so good too. He had dealt with so many other kinds of pain, but never this. Never this, pleasure-fulfilling kind of pain that made his whole body feel so wonderful.

Justin stopped moving. “Does it hurt too much?” he asked Brian, scared that he would have to stop, it felt so good being inside Brian, but he never wanted to cause Brian pain.

Brian nodded his head, “But it feels so fantastic Justin. Oh, god I swear I can feel your heartbeat from your cock inside me. You feel really big. Just, give me a second and then push in some more.”

Justin had the audacity to blush at Brian’s comment, but it caused a thrilling reaction in his body too. After a moment, he felt Brian’s ring of muscles ease up on his cock and he pushed in a few more inches, “How does it feel Brian?”

“You’re stretching me… it’s so deep Justin. God, it feels so good.” Brian‘s words made Justin’s cock pulse inside Brian’s warm hole.

“You feel so good too, Brian,” Justin said. He leaned his entire body down to kiss him. When he did, Brian raised his ass and gave the rest of himself to Justin, sliding himself along Justin’s long thick cock.

They both moaned into each other’s mouths from the intense experience. Then, on instinct, they began to rock together. Their bodies knew one another’s pleasure as though it was their own.

Justin could feel his balls tightening; he was going to come soon. He moved his hand to Brian’s cock but Brian slapped his hand away. “Too close,” Brian told him, and brought him into another kiss. “I want your cock to fuck the come from me.”

Justin nearly lost it right then but managed to gain some control and gusto. His thrusts became quicker. His balls slammed against Brian’s ass. In the end, he was just digging his shaft into Brian’s hot hole, hitting Brian’s prostate with each movement.

“Ahh.. Ahh…. God Justin….” Brian yelled, smashing his lips onto Justin’s as he started to shoot his load between them.

Justin felt Brian’s walls clamping down around his cock and then he was coming too. He shot hard and fast into the condom, holding onto Brian’s body like it was a lifeline as they both shook with the aftershocks of their orgasms.

Justin stayed inside Brian and looked down at his sweaty panting lover who was giving him a funny smile. "What is it?" Justin asked still breathless and very tired.

Brian hugged Justin to him, placing his head on his chest, "For the first time…I feel... wicked." Brian whispered.

Justin kissed Brian’s chest and then both lover's, lost in the moments, fell asleep, Justin still inside Brian.