Justin’s Mate

Going Straight?



“Hey”



“Brian why are you home so early?”



“It’s my agency Justin I’m allowed some time off, you’ve been so busy lately at the studio I thought you’d be happy to see me.”



“Brian I need to shower”



“Justin don’t I get a kiss”



“Please Bri, I’ve been working in clay I’m covered up to my elbows if I don’t shower soon I’m going to have to shave my arms.”



“Justin {Brian quickly closes the gap between them} just one kiss.”



Justin stretches up and gives him a quick peck on the cheek the sprints away before Brian gets a chance to inhale.  Justin strips off his clothes and shoves them deep into the hamper as far as they will go and then quickly enters the bathroom.  He lets the water run as hot as he can stand and gets in.



Justin slumps to the shower floor he was feeling confused, he didn’t know what to do or what he was feeling.  His studio mate, they had so much in common, about the same age, Rocky a little older, about them same height Justin a little taller.  Both golden blond and blue-eyed. They complimented each other artistically where Justin excelled in drawing and painting, Rocky’s forte in clay and plaster.



They knew each other casually as freshmen at PIFA and then both experienced a forced leave.  Justin had his Stockwell thing; Rocky had a bad car accident leaving Rocky almost totally hearing impaired.  When they finally got back to college they were somehow drawn to each other. Justin coached Rocky in sketching and Rocky assisted Justin in working the clay.  While Justin’s hand had recovered fully enough to draw almost endlessly he still experienced cramps and stiffness when he had to knead the clay. That’s when Rocky would help.  They formed a bond and now maybe something closer. Justin was confused, worried and afraid. Shit, the water was running cold. Justin didn’t realize he was in the shower for so long.



When he got out Brian was standing there holding Justin’s overalls and inhaling deeply.  He looked angry, very angry. Justin stood there dripping unable to speak, move or take his eyes of his angry jealous lover.



“Who is he Justin?” as Brian inhaled the scent of the overalls again.



“Bri I swear there’s no one else please let me…”



Brian stopped him with a glare.



“I don’t recognize this cologne, even you wouldn’t fuck someone who wears cheap cologne.”



“No Brian please it’s not what you think”



The tears started to well up in Justin’s eyes and he swore to himself he hadn’t done anything wrong he wasn’t going to cry.  As hard as he tried every time he looked into Brian’s eyes the tears started.



“Justin aren’t we happy?  I give you everything you want; I tell you I love you everyday.  Why?”



“No Bri no please believe me”



The tears started to stream down his face.



“Save your tears they wont help you this time.  I want the truth and I want it now, you owe me that!”  Brian shouted at him.



“Brian I…”



Justin was now sobbing so hard he couldn’t breathe and he started to shiver uncontrollably.  Brian dropped the overalls and grabbed the first robe he could lay his hands on it was his. He wrapped the shivering sobbing boy and held him close.  Justin was having difficulty breathing and Brian feared it would lead to an asthma attack. Brian couldn’t stay angry he realized Justin was in pain with conflict.  Brian knew the signs so he picked up the sobbing boy who looked lost in Brian’s large robe and carried him to the bed.



Sitting on the edge of the bed with Justin in his lap Brian started to rock just a little to sooth Justin and held him tight.  The sobbing slowly subsided.



“Justin did you fall in love?”



In between sobs, “no.”



“Do you want to leave me?”



“No”



“Okay” Brian let out a sigh; he didn’t realize he was holding his breath.



“Can you tell me about it?”



“I’ll try”



“Name first”



“Rocky”



“A bear?”



“No”, Justin managed a little chuckle.



“A twink then”



“No”



“What’s left?  Justin no please don’t tell me, I couldn’t take if you bottomed for, if he’s, oh god no.”



Now it was Brian’s turn to cry at the thought that another man was fucking his Justin.



“No Brian not ever, I would never bottom for anyone else please believe me.”



Justin started crying again seeing Brian’s tears.  The two held onto each other until both calm enough to continue.



“Justin you’re killing me please tell me what’s happening?”



“Brian Rocky’s a girl”



Brian nearly choked on his own spit.



“Justin did I hear you correctly you’ve been having sex with a girl, a woman?”  Brian new he was capable of it he remembered what happened between Justin and Daphne.  But he didn’t think he would loose Justin to a woman.



“No, no sex, we haven’t even kissed.”



Brian could only think “yet”.



“Justin do you want to sleep with her, be honest, do you?”



“I don’t know”



“Justin can we lay down my legs are starting to fall sleep”



The lovers snuggled together in bed, Justin still wrapped up in Brian’s robe.  Brian had taken off his suit jacket but still fully clothed, as he got comfortable he loosened his tie.



“Justin can you tell me now?”



“Rocky, Rachel is her real name, we met when I first started at PIFA, she was away the same time I was, a car accident.  We returned to school about the same time too. You know I felt a little awkward when I got back she did too the accident left her deaf.  We kinda bonded. She’s real good with sculptures, clay and plaster, you know I don’t do well in that medium and she doesn’t draw well. We help each other.  I pose for her she poses for me. I help her with sketching and she helps me with the clay. My hand starts to hurt when I work the clay.”



“Why didn’t you tell me it still bothers you?”



“It doesn’t when I draw only when I knead clay for too long; Rocky then helps me.”



“I see”



“We decided to share the studio, share the expense and we work well together.  My loud music doesn’t bother her; we have a weird way of communicating. I’m at one end closer to the windows and she’s at the other when I want her attention I stamp my foot.  She feels the vibration and then answer me.”



“No wonder you get along someone who can put up with your horrendous music must be a gem.”



“Brian”



“Does she feel the same way about you?”



“I’m not sure she knows I’m gay and I think she has a boy friend, it’s just when we stand close to work on something its like…”



“Electricity?”



“Yeah how do you know?”



“Lindsey”



“Lindsey?”



“Uh huh”



“Bri I know you two had a relationship in college but I didn’t know you still have such strong feelings for her.”



“Why do you think Mel and I still don’t get a long?  Mel has never gotten over that I slept with Lindsey. A side from Lindsey being Gus’ mom and I’d do anything for them we’re both a little hung up on each other.  Given the right circumstances it probably could happen again.”



Both men let out a long sigh.



“So what do we do about this?”



“Justin you have to decide, I made that decision a long time ago.  I value my relationship with Linds and I wont do anything to screw it up.  She’s happy with Mel and they are the best parents for Gus. Why would I jeopardize that even if I wanted to fuck Linds, we have too much to loose.  Sometimes a man has to make a sacrifice for the right reasons.”



“Brian you never cease to amaze me”



“Yeah that’s me amazing but that doesn’t help you Sunshine does it; you have to decide about Rocky.”



“Do you want to meet her Bri?”



“No not yet not until you make up your mind.  I don’t think I could take it.”



“I’m sorry Brian”



“I know but you should have said something.  I don’t like getting angry like that I still have trouble controlling my temper.”



“Yeah tell me about it you scared me.”



“I scared me; the thought of loosing you.  Justin I’m not as strong as you are, I know you can survive without me but I can’t survive without you.”



“Brian that’s not true you’ve come a long way.”



“Sigh…well maybe I’d survive but not as well as you that much I do know.”



“Bri I care a lot about Rocky but I don’t thinks its love it’s just something.”



“You’ll have to work it out for yourself Justin this is something I can’t help you with; please try to do it soon for my sake.  I’ll just go crazy not knowing; come to think about it I may have to warn Cynthia, poor woman.”



“I promise Bri”



“No Justin don’t make this kind of promise just say you’ll work on it.”



“Ok, I’ll work on it”



“Good now should I call out for dinner?”



“Brian wait, do you still love me?”



“Baby I’ll never stop loving you”



“Can you make love to me now?



“Do you want me?”



“Yes Bri yes I need you inside me please.”



Brian got up and slowly removed his clothes his eyes never leaving Justin’s.  Justin watched his lover strip for him and his cock sprang to life thick, hard and getting red.  Brian grinned at his lover’s sudden arousal his own was there the moment Justin asked the question.  Justin started to wriggle his arms out of Brian’s robe, “leave it on Justin I want it to smell like you.”  Justin moaned and his cock began to leak. Brian crawled up and hovered over Justin. Brian kissed him as Justin wrapped his arms and legs around Brian.



Brian made love to Justin slowly, whispering into the young man’s ear “I love you” over and over.  Justin hung onto Brian and then began the babble. The lovers came together.



They laid huddle together for some time.



“Justin this is me, all that I have to give you, the rest of the stuff, the material stuff is bullshit; this is what I am.  I love you with my body and my soul. I’m yours to keep or not, my life is yours or not.”



Brian kissed Justin softly then got up to shower.  Justin lay there for a few moments then joined Brian in the shower.  The lovers hugged and cried as the warm water washed away the sweat, cum and tears.



Justin made his decision.



The next few days were difficult for Justin he couldn’t avoid Rocky they had too many classes together and then the studio time.  After several days Rocky approached Justin.



“Justin what is it?  I can’t stand this silence from you.”



Justin looked at her, in her eyes the blue mirrored his own and the tears leaked out.



“Justin did you and your boyfriend have a fight?’



“No not really” Rocky could read lips and Justin was learning to sign.



“Then what?”



“I have feelings for you and I’m confused about it”



“Oh” Rocky turned around and started to go back to her corner of the studio.  Justin followed and tapped her on the shoulder.



“Rocky I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship but I need to know how you feel about me”



“Justin you’re a good friend and a wonderful artist I care about you but I have no other feelings than friendship.”



“But what about you know when we work on something closely it’s almost magic.”



“Justin you’re confusing the rush you get when you create a piece of art for love.  It’s almost the same feeling but think about it there’s a big difference.” Justin knew what Rocky meant but never thought about it in that way.



“Justin I’m your first real studio mate aren’t I”



“Yes I’ve shared but not like this besides they were painters it felt different.”



“That’s because it was more like competition not like us, we compliment not compete and we can help each other without reservation.”



“Oh”



“Justin you should have said something instead of keeping this all inside; this happened to me before.”



“It did?”



“Yeah I shared with someone a while ago another painter and I thought what we were feeling was love but he set me straight.  Then we couldn’t work together after that. I wasn’t going to share with you but when I learned you were gay I figured I was safe.”



“I’m sorry you don’t want to quit do you?”



“No but you have to explain something to me I don’t have any other gay friends so I didn’t know you could be attracted to a woman.”



“Yes”, Justin started to laugh.



“What’s so funny?”



“I guess I will have to set you straight about a few things”



Then the two blonds both started to laugh and had a long talk.  Afterwards the tension gone they got back to work as friends. Justin realized the ‘electricity’ he felt was due to the work they accomplished and not because of anything else.  After a long productive day he asked Rocky if she wanted to meet Brian and she consented. Justin called Brian and arranged to meet for diner later that night.



Brian and Justin waited for Rocky to arrive at the small bar at the restaurant.  Brian immediately knew her as she came through the door almost a twin for his Sunshine.  She was pretty but no one was as beautiful as his angel. She approached the pair and Justin introduced Brian.  Justin’s jaw nearly hit the floor as Brian perfectly signed hello. Rocky signed back and turned to Justin, “You never said your boyfriend could sign.”  Justin replied, “I didn’t know” and looked at Brian with disbelief. Brian explained…



“I took classes in college and I try to keep in practice.  I have several hearing impaired clients. It helped me to win some big accounts especially when I was competing with another agency, I’d win them over when I signed; Justin shut your mouth you’ll catch flies.”



Rocky burst out laughing even Brian chuckled.  Justin just remained stunned. Brian quipped, “he’s never stayed this quiet before.”



“I know he’s always babbling on about something, I’m very happy when he puts on his music that’s the only time I can get any real work done.  Lately we get in the studio I turn the stereo on first this way he won’t talk and I don’t have to keep looking up at him.”



This time Brian laughed, Justin remained silent and blushed.



The maitre d’ called them to be seated.



The meal was delicious and the three had a very nice time.  Justin couldn’t get over how relaxed Brian was and how charming.  He thought Brian would feel uncomfortable or worse be rude but Brian was being warm and friendly.  Justin could swear that Brian even liked Rocky. Justin almost felt a little pang of jealousy as Rocky and Brian would sign, Justin was still learning so he didn’t quite get all of what they were communicating.



By the end of the evening Brian was sure he had nothing to worry about.  Rocky had no intension of taking away his Justin and Justin was more relaxed than he had been in weeks.



The evening ended early the blonds had class in the morning and Brian a breakfast meeting.



When the boys got home and settled down for the night Justin cuddled close to Brian and Brian wrapped his arms around his blond.  “Here it comes”, thought Brian.



“Brian”



“Yes baby”



“You were so nice to Rocky, thank you”



“No need to thank me Sunshine she’s a very nice young woman.”



“And you’re okay with me sharing the studio with her?”



“Justin are you and she okay?”



“Yeah we had a long talk this afternoon, kinda set me straight about things.  She told me I mistaking the rush of when we create something for love.”



“Perceptive woman; as long as that was the only thing she set you straight on.”



“Brian I’m here and still queer.  I’m sorry I hurt you.”



“Baby as long as you love me I’ll be ok.”



“I love you Bri”



“Me too Sunshine, just one more thing before you show me how much you love me.”



“What’s that Bri?”



“If I’m going to have to smell Rocky on you we must get her better perfume that stuff she wears is going to kill me.”



“I’ll work on it Bri”



For the next couple of hours Justin showed Brian how much he loved him.  The lovers then slept arms and legs entwined, heats beating as one.







Sabina

11/10/03