All Together

6:05 AM

________ 

Justin creeps out of bed and makes coffee, checking the time on the oven clock. They don't have to leave for another hour, but he couldn't sleep.

He forgets about the squeaky floorboard and wakes Brian up when he's watching him from the bedroom doorway. Brian stretches and sits up, and Justin brings him some coffee.

I told you, Brian says. I don't need taking care of.

I always bring you coffee.

Such a good little wife, Brian says. Justin watches him, and he sighs. Sorry. Do we really have to do this?

Again, no. I can become suddenly very sick.

Brian shakes his head and sips from his mug. I'll never hear the end of it from Michael if I miss it. He'll read way, way too much into it.

That does sound like Michael.

Brian stands up and starts to dress. I swear, she scheduled it today on purpose.

It takes Justin a second to figure out that he means Claire, and another second after that to remember why today is significant. How would she even know?

Bats know everything, Brian says, and Justin laughs a little.

**

Ben is already awake, patiently sitting on the couch while Ivy hands him every one of her toy trains, then takes them back, then hands them to him again. Michael kisses the back of his head on the way to the kitchen.

“What time are they getting in?” Ben asks.

“Justin said their flight lands a little before nine. I don't know why they didn't come in last night, stay here...”

“Probably the screaming baby,” Ben says, giving her a kiss. “I thought Justin didn't fly?”

“Guess he's making an exception.”

Michael's been in a bad mood about Justin since Thursday, when Justin texted them to tell them the news, then texted again telling Michael to stop calling after Brian didn't pick up twice. “He wasn't even there when his dad died,” Michael says now. “He doesn't know how to deal with this stuff. I do.”

“I'd say he knows Brian pretty well at this point,” Ben says.

“He doesn't know his family.”

Ben gets up and hugs Michael from behind, and Michael turns and presses a kiss to his lips.

“Happy birthday,” he says softly.

Ben smiles. “Thank you. We'll do something when this is all over.”

“Might have to wait until tomorrow. Brian might...”

“I know.”

**

Emily wakes up in a hotel bed in fucking Pittsburgh with Derek's arm slung over her naked waist.

Oh, fuck.

**

Debbie tosses her apron in the dirty linens when Betty comes to take her shift. She can maybe squeeze in an hour of sleep before she has to get to the church.

She thinks about her last funeral, how it's kind of remarkable that it's been seven years since somebody she knew died.

Not that she really ever knew Joan.

7:10 AM

________

Brian counts out pills by the ticket counter at Laguardia.

“It's too early,” Justin says. “You're going to have to carry me to the gate if I take them now.”

Brian ignores him and hands Justin the sedatives and a bottle of water.

We could have just taken the train, Justin says.

I want this trip to be as short as possible, Brian says. They're flying back tonight, too. And we needed to try this sooner or later.

Why, you planning on taking me somewhere?

Sure, Brian says.

Justin shrugs and swallows the sedatives.

Night night, Brian says, guiding him to security.

**

Lindsay mashes bananas into the pancakes batter.

“Gus wants to tell him,” Melanie says.

She pauses. “Today?”

“I know.”

“God, not today.”

“He says it's better to do it in person.”

“I'm going to assume you shut that down.”

“Oh, absolutely. I told him by no fucking means. But we're going to have to keep a leash on him, sounds like.”

Lindsay shakes her head. “I'm still surprised he's even coming down.”

“He has to. It's his mother.”

“You never met her,” Lindsay says.

**

Michael wrangles Ivy's chubby legs into a pair of tights.

“Are we picking them up from the airport?” Ben asks.

Michael shakes his head. “I offered. Justin says it's under control. I guess they're renting a car.”

“Justin's really handling everything, huh?” Ben says, without thinking.

Michael, thankfully, says nothing.

**

Derek glances at Emily as the put their clothes on.

Don't, she says. We're not talking about this.

We've never done it two nights in a row, he says.

So we were stupid twice? She shakes her head. I have a girlfriend. You have a... hopeless, unrequited crush on a hearing girl.

Derek says, I just want to make sure you're not—

I'm not, she says. Come on, we have to be at the airport in an hour. Remember how to get there?

I just drove it last night, Derek says.

I was there.

8:21 AM

________

Justin successfully sleeps through most of the plane ride, but he wakes up twice and vomits twice, his heartbeat thrumming in his ears. Brian is patient and warm beside him, glaring at anyone who complains.

We'll do a higher dose when we go to the Bahamas, Brian says. Then you'll be able to sleep the whole day once we get there.

Justin coughs, spits. Bahamas?

Sure.

The third time Justin throws up, Brian says, Hey, save something for the gravesite, and Justin kicks him and leans back in his seat, eyes closed, embarrassment heating his face.

He feels Brian drop his head to his shoulder and has to struggle not to startle. It's a an odd position for them, given the height difference. Given the power dynamic.

She wasn't always bad, Brian says, without looking at him.

Justin knows exactly what Brian's doing, knows that this is supposed to be a distraction to keep Justin from focusing on how goddamn hellacious he feels at this moment, to ground him into why they're here, what they're doing. He's done the exact same thing to Brian, drawn Brian's attention to some problem he's having to keep him from disappearing off into his head, a hundred times.

Brian doesn't really want to talk about his mother; Justin's not an idiot. But he's being vulnerable to help Justin, and that's a hell of a lot more noteworthy.

You manipulative bastard, Justin signs in front of his face.

He feels Brian chuckle.

**

Jennifer's stepping into her heels when Molly comes to ask if she can borrow some earrings.

“It feels weird,” Molly says, slipping them on. “Going to a funeral for somebody I never met.”

“I never met her either,” Jennifer says. “But funerals are to help the people living, not just for the dead.”

“That's good,” Molly says. “Because I hear she was a real bitch.”

**

Ted gets to the church early—Blake's going to meet him later, he told him he had business to attend to at Kinnetik first, lied, lied, lied—and wanders around the cemetery until he finds the grave of one Doctor Crystal. Not what it says on the stone. He hadn't gone to the funeral, hadn't visited the grave until now.

He tilts his head back at the sky and feels lucky and thinks it might rain.

**

Emmett says, “I keep thinking about my mother,” as he combs through his dresser, trying to pick a tie. “I haven't talked to her in fifteen years. Hell, for all I know she is dead.”

Drew rests a hand on his back. “Was Brian close to his?”

“Ha, no.”

“That's too bad.”

Emmett shrugs. “He never needed a family. He has us.”

“When was the last time you talked to him?” Drew says, after a beat.

Emmett doesn't say anything.

8:51 AM

________

Brian sees them first, standing in the arrivals area, after he and a drowsy Justin have changed into their suits in the airport bathroom, and he stops and takes a breath.

I didn't know you told them, he says.

Of course I did.

Emily hugs Justin first, and Derek Brian. Brian's stiff for a second, but he pushes through it and puts his arms around him. Derek's hand cups the back of his neck.

You didn't have to come all this way, he says, bending down to hug Emily once she lets go of Justin.

Don't be stupid, Derek says.

Emily says, Daphne's sorry she couldn't make it. She couldn't get off work.

I know. She texted during the flight.

Derek straightens Brian's tie, and when he reaches up and gives him a gentle smack on the cheek, Brian feels something he hasn't felt in a long time. He swallows.

He grabs Justin on the way to the car and whispers, “I love you,” in his ear, and Justin, whether or not he really understands it, smiles at him.

**

Gus pouts in the backseat, the cartoon J.R.'s watching on her iPad blaring through the subcompact.

“Dad would take my side,” he says.

“This isn't about sides,” Mama says, for the hundredth time.

Mom, who totally knows it's about sides, who hugged Gus tight the night it happened but has stayed quiet since, stays quiet now.

Mama, with her pretty blond hair and blue eyes, isn't going to get this.

Maybe Dad won't either. Maybe they're right.

**

Derek knew Justin first, can talk to Justin more easily, loves Justin dearly, would walk on hot coals for Justin, but he's fascinated by Brian.

Emily doesn't get it. She spends more time with Brian now than Justin now that they work together, has more in common with Brian, loves Brian dearly, would walk on hot coals for Brian, but remains inarguably closer to Justin. She thinks it's ridiculous when Derek asks her questions about what he's like at work, how he manages all his employees, charms all the clients.

He's just a guy, Emily always says. Not a superhero.

Brian sits in the passenger seat, looking worn out as hell, while Justin sits behind him and rubs his shoulders.

Derek maybe believes it this time.

Where are we headed? Derek asks.

Straight to the church, Brian says.

Can you even walk on church grounds without catching on fire? Derek asks him.

Guess we'll find out.

9:20 AM

________

Justin is about to enter the church when Brian grabs his arm.

Shit, he said. Shit, shit. I forgot to get an interpreter.

No, I did it, it's okay. He's coming at nine-thirty.

Brian blinks, and Justin smiles a little and opens the door to the church. Before anyone even reacts to them, he's already pawing at his nose, looking around at the ostentatious flower arrangements. Shit, I should have—

Brian takes a Claritin out of his pocket and hands it to him.

Well-oiled machine Justin says, swallowing it dry, and Brian has no time to respond with something snarky—he has to—before Debbie crushes him into a hug.

**

Lindsay turns to Melanie. “Who are they?” she whispers.

Melanie shrugs. “Friends from New York?”

The boy turns to the girl and signs something.

“Deaf friends from New York?” Melanie amends.

**

Michael sips his little cup of punch. “Jesus, Justin brought his friends?”

“I guess he wanted someone to talk to,” Ben says, shifting Ivy in his arms.

“It's a funeral, not a fucking dinner party,” Michael says. “I know it's his birthday, but you'd think he'd think about Brian today. He doesn't want a fucking audience. He probably wishes none of us were here.”

**

Jennifer kisses Brian's cheek and feels his fingers dig into her back. “I'm so sorry for your loss, honey.”

Brian nods a little. Molly stands on her toes to kiss him and Brian raises an eyebrow. Kidnap any kids today?

No, but it's only nine.

Jennifer licks her thumb and wipes a smudge off Justin's face, and Justin squirms and complains and Jennifer thinks she sees Brian smile.

9:22 AM

________

Justin hangs back when Claire approaches Brian, unsure what Brian will want from him. She hugs him, crying into his shoulder, and Brian brings up a hand to stiffly pat her back. It occurs to Justin that last time he had any interaction with Brian's family, he was hearing, and the idea of having to tell them he's Deaf just feels ridiculous. It's such an awkward conversation to have even with nice, rational people, which obviously is not on the table here.

He watches Claire when she speaks, trying to read her lips, and thinks her mouth actually looks a little like Brian's. She's telling him she's glad he's here. That it's what Mom would have wanted.

Brian's hand closes around Justin's elbow and he brings him forwards. Justin obeys.

Claire looks startled and uncomfortable and maybe a little sick, but she looks at Justin and says, “Thank you for coming.”

Justin wants to tell her he's sorry, knows he doesn't say his Rs right, doesn't want to risk it. He nods and pats her arm and feels like he's letting Brian down.

There's a spread of photos near one of the many floral arrangements Justin's been steadfastly avoiding, but he goes over when he sees Brian looking. Brian doesn't act like he notices Justin is there, but he taps subtly on a picture of Joan standing in the kitchen, holding a baby.

Amazing how much you looked like Gus, Justin says.

I did at his age, too. He points to a pot in the background of the picture. She threw that at me once.

Justin leans his head against Brian's arm.

She was pretty, Brian says. Don't you think?

Yes.

**

Michael kisses Brian, puts his hands on his cheeks, searches his face.

Brian smiles vaguely at him, then turns to Ben and shakes his hand and says “Happy birthday.”

**

Emily drinks some punch and greets the few people here she's met before: Justin's mom and sister, Brian's son, the friends who came to visit Justin in the hospital whose name she doesn't remember, who are pawing all over Brian and, Emily can't help but notice, haven't talked to Justin. Brian's people already look like a gang of misfits among all the church people coming to touch the flower displays and file into the pews, and Emily feels like an outcast of an outcast.

Derek sidles up to her with a cookie. Have you ever seen this many hearing people in your life?

It's like some sort of convention.

A woman with bright red hair comes up and gives them a gentle smile. You must be friends of Justin's, she signs. It's jerky and awkward, but Emily appreciates the effort.

She makes an effort to sign slowly. Yes, we met Justin first.

It's so good you're here to support him, she said.

Derek glances at her and and signs, small and quickly, Does she think we're here for Justin?

**

Gus never met his grandmother, but all the old ladies here keep telling him they're sorry when they find out he's Brian's son.

Gus doesn't really want to be in a church right now, but nobody asked him.

**

Reverend Tom hasn't seen Brian in years, couldn't have pictured him if he'd tried, but still recognizes him right away. It's the smirk. People rarely smirk at funerals.

“I'm so sorry,” he says to him. “I want you to know that I was with her, and she didn't suffer.”

Brian shrugs. “Okay.”

“Is, um...” He blanks on the name of the partner Brian had, all those years ago, but Brian gestures easily to the side of the room, where the man Tom met at the baths, older but still boyishly good-looking, is talking in sign language to a young woman. Tom doesn't remember knowing that he was Deaf, but isn't sure they would have told him anyway.

“We're married now,” Brian says abruptly.

Tom loses his composure, very briefly. “Brian, that's wonderful.”

Brian shrugs. “He needed health insurance.”

10:10 AM

_________

Brian looks slyly at Justin during the church service. We maybe overdid it, he says, mentally cross-referencing how many sedatives he fed him with the obvious difficulty Justin is having staying awake.

I'm sorry. I'm trying.

Go to sleep, it's okay.

I'm not sleeping through your mother's church service.

Who cares what any of these judgmental old assholes think?

I care what your friends think. Justin says. And, you know, God.

Brian has no idea if he's kidding on that last point, and he lets it go in favor of wondering when the Pittsburgh crowd because 'his friends,' not 'our friends.'

Then he wonders if they ever weren't just that, really.

Emily takes his hand on his other side.

The interpreter is effusive, and Brian can tell that some of the church ladies disapprove, don't understand that facial expressions are part of ASL grammar, think that he's being inappropriate. It occurs to Brian that his mother would absolutely hate having an interpreted service. She'd think it was tacky.

He smiles.

**

Michael knows Justin's friends are sitting up front with Brian because they need to see the interpreter. He gets it.

He does.

**

Emmett prays.

**

Melanie watches Gus stare at the huge, bloody cross.

“I know,” she whispers to him, and Gus laces their fingers.

11:12 AM

_________

Justin starts feeling off—more off—halfway through the burial. He scolds himself, hates himself, and subtly takes a step behind Brian to take himself out of view.

Derek notices. You okay? He sees Justin's arm start shaking. Oh, hey.

Brian guides him forward again—not because he sees the seizure, because he notices that a moment later—but just because he wants him, and Justin scolds himself, hates himself, and leans into Brian when Brian looks at him with a question in his eyes.

“I'm okay,” he whispers in Brian's ear, and Brian nods and takes his hand. Justin feels his fingers jerk against Brian's palm and feels safe.

Do you need to go lie down? Brian asks.

Justin shakes his head, whispers, “Don't let me fall.”

Okay. Brian pauses. Thank you.

**

Claire is trying to change. She is.

Claire recognizes that her biases are rooted in fear, that God created all of us in His image, that everything she's heard—and Claire Kinney listens—about Brian's relationship with Justin indicates that this is a good thing for her brother. Claire, despite what the world thinks of her, what she knows the world thinks of her—Claire Kinney listens—wants good things for her brother.

But Christ, does he have to hold his hand at the gravesite?

**

Emily catches Derek looking at her.

**

Debbie will always wish she'd spoken at Vic's funeral, but she doesn't think Brian will regret not speaking at this one.

12:10 PM

_________

Brian stands by the gravesite and is exhausted, to-the-bone tired, of people telling him he doesn't have to be sad.

“Whatever you're feeling is okay,” Lindsay says, out loud even though Justin is right fucking next to him, and the interpreter is busy helping Jennifer and Derek have a lively—inappropriately lively, given the setting, Brian thinks, and he likes it—conversation about gallery space in New York City. “We all know you had a complicated relationship. No one's expecting anything from you, no one thinks you're heartless.” Apparently they've had sensitivity training since his dad died, Brian thinks numbly.

“What the fuck is going on with Gus?” he asks.

“Nothing, it's nothing,” Lindsay says, in a way that is clearly not nothing, and Brian would do anything for something else to think about in this moment, not to mention the fact that something is clearly bothering his son, and he's fucking enraged.

Michael pats his arm, and the look on his face reminds Brian of a night a long time ago and a bloody hospital hallway, and he feels himself reaching out for Justin's wrist. Here.

I need to take Justin to sit down, he says, with a firm look in Justin's direction.

Justin, bless his fucking fucking fucking heart, nods immediately. Yeah, now, come on.

Michael says, His mom can take him, or his sister, right? One of his friends...

Brian can't come up with a reason why it can't be one of them, but Justin jumps in immediately. No, I want Brian. Please, Brian?

Brian shrugs a little and lets Justin pull him away from the crowd.

**

Ben takes Ivy from Michael.

“Seriously,” Michael's grumbling. “Can't put himself on the back burner for Brian for one fucking day...”

“He can't help being sick, Michael.”

“Anyone else could have taken him! Brian doesn't need to be worrying about him today, Christ.”

Ben notices one of their New York friends—Emma?—watching with her eyes narrowed.

Do you really not understand what just happened? she says, coming over to them.

Excuse me? Michael says.

She signs something too fast for Ben to understand, and, from the look on Michael's face, him either.

Michael says, I'm sorry, I don't—

She rolls her eyes. Never mind. Quit being a dick to Brian.

Michael gapes. I'm not being a dick to Brian. I'm...

She raises an eyebrow. Being a dick to Justin?

Michael doesn't say anything.

Anyone ever teach you how couples work? she says.

**

Emily cheated on her girlfriend two nights in a row and is now lecturing someone on relationships, but she saw Brian's face when he begged Justin to get him out of there so she's okay with it.

Molly comes over and puts her hand on her shoulder.

Why don't they sign better? Emily asks her.

Molly shrugs.

Didn't they have years?

Why do Lindsay and Michael still act like they're fucking in high school? Molly says. The world may never know. Trust me, it's better to be on the outskirts of this shit.

**

Gus turns to his Mom and says, “I can't do this anymore. How do you stand this?”

She sighs. “You get used to it.”

“How?”

“You take bits of yourself off until you fit.” She sighed. “You do it over and over.”

“That's fucked.”

“Language, Gus.”

“What, don't curse in a church?”

She gives him a hug.

“Mama doesn't get it,” he says.

“No, she doesn't.”

“I hate that.”

Mom kisses his forehead. “Me too.”

12:13 PM

_________

Justin says, “A little further, little more, almost there...” and leads Brian around the side of the church. They make it barely out of view before Brian stops, a hand on the cold stone to hold himself up. Justin stands on his toes to wrap himself around Brian and feels Brian grip him too hard and start to cry, and Justin is chosen, wanted, and so, so, so fucking goddamn in love.

“I know,” he says over and over, rubbing Brian's back. “I know, I'm here. I know. I love you.”

Brian pulls back after a while, panting, and Justin licks his tears off like a kitten. Brian smiles a little and leans into his hands.

She was such a bitch, Brian says. She could have just not been such a bitch.

“I know.”

Brian bows his head over Justin. Thanks for letting me use your frail body as an excuse.

No problem. You can make it up to my frail body later.

Brian kisses him. Okay.

**

Debbie starts gathering everyone up to go to her house. After a moment of consideration, she invites Claire.

Claire gives a jerky nod. “Thank you. That would be lovely.”

**

Derek texts Daphne to tell her the burial's over. She doesn't answer, but she's busy at work.

12:25 PM

__________

Brian looks up as Emily comes around the corner. Just me, Emily says, and Brian pulls her under one arm.

Updates? Justin says.

Everyone's going over to what's her name, the redheaded woman. Her house. Still don't know what the deal is with Gus. I maybe yelled at Michael a little bit. She dabs at Brian's face with her sleeve.

You should lie down once we get there, Brian says to Justin. Actually, this time. You look like shit.

Probably for the best to give Michael some time alone with you anyway, Justin says. He'll be all wounded if he doesn't get to fix you a little.

Fuck. Yeah.

Brian leads them over to the parking lot. He can see Justin and Emily signing together out of the corner of his eye. Emily tells him to shut up.

What'd I miss? Brian says.

Nothing, they both say.

Brian rolls his eyes. Christ, you're worse than Lindsay.

This has nothing to do with you or your kid, Emily says.

It has to do with my friends, he says.

**

Michael buckles Ivy into her carseat and watches Brian and Justin get into the car with Emily and Derek. He tries to figure out if he would fly up to New York if Jennifer died, but can't get past all the inconsistencies: there'd be no reason for Jennifer to be buried in New York, Justin and Jennifer have a completely different relationship from Brian and Joan, and he's known Justin for years longer than Emily and Derek have known Brian.

Michael knows that he loves Justin. He knows it.

It's just a lot easier to know it when Justin's the one in trouble, not Brian.

12:50 PM

__________

Justin is exhausted, to-the-bone tired. He makes it through four conversations trying to decipher the Pittsburgh crew's signing before Brian gives him a beseeching look and points at the stairs. Justin knows Brian's making a point of ordering around publicly, so they can't say that Justin bailed on him when he needed him.

It's exhausting, to-the-bone tiring, knowing these things.

Brian's younger nephew, whose name Justin can't remember, comes up to him and says what looks like, “So you're Deaf now?” Justin's a bad lip reader, but it's easier when he doesn't really care if he gets it wrong.

He nods

“Is it contagious?” he says.

Justin nods slowly, seriously, and then goes upstairs and falls asleep quickly.

**

Michael wonders how many times he's spoken to Jennifer, really. Her kid lived with his mom for almost a year. Did they ever talk?

He's pulled out of that thought when Brian wanders into the kitchen, loading up a paper plate with food.

“So, uh, Emily,” he says. “She works for you?”

“Yep.”

“She's, uh...kind of a firecracker, huh?”

“Yeah, she's a little shit.”

“She said I was being a dick to Justin.”

“Were you?” Brian says, like it's very slightly interesting.

Michael dodges the question. “Reminds me of when I used to lecture Justin about you.”

“No,” is all Brian says.

**

Emily watches Ted's signing. She's good at working with bad signers, and he's not all that terrible, really.

Ted says, So, do you speak?

Excuse me?

Justin usually speaks with us, Ted says. It's just easier that way.

Yikes, Emily fingerspells slowly.

**

Emmett can't get his head around this. Wait, you're how old?

Twenty-four, Derek says.

And you've never slept with a boy.

No, I'm straight.

I know you're straight, honey, Emmett says. I mean, before you realized you were straight, you never slept with a guy? Not once?

I've always known I was straight, Derek says.

Emmett gapes at him.

1:19 PM

_____________

Brian takes stock of the house. Justin's lying down upstairs. Emily's talking to the lesbians, hanging on their every badly-produced sign, but Brian doesn't think she gets to spend a lot of time around queer women, so he gets it. Michael's pouting and arguing with Debbie. Derek's still getting interrogated on heterosexuality, which is probably good for him.

So he goes to Gus, who's also pouting, but at least not arguing.

“You gonna tell me what's up?” he asks him.

“I'm not supposed to,” Gus says.

“Why?”

“You have enough on your plate, apparently.”

Brian bites into a carrot stick. “Distract me.”

“I got suspended.”

Brian raises an eyebrow.

“I told this boy in my gym class to eat shit and the teacher heard me. They said if I didn't say I was sorry I'd get suspended for a week.”

“Ha. Justin's got a story like this.”

“I doubt it.”

“Oh yeah?”

Gus shrugs.

“So why'd you do it?” Brian says.

“He told me I didn't count as a real Jew.”

“Huh,” Brian says. “Sounds like the fucker got what was coming to him.”

**

Emily goes upstairs and flops down on the bed next to Justin.

Does Brian like these friends? she asks.

Justin shifts in the bed. That's a complicated question.

Do you like them?

Justin shrugs. They're my family, he says. They're not my friends.

Justin drags himself out of bed and they go back downstairs together. Brian intercepts her and brings her out to the backyard, lights a cigarette. Tell me what's going on.

It is so not important.

Emily, please, no one in there will stop staring at me. I need a distraction. Did you and Derek sleep together?

Yeah. We do it every couple of years. It's always a mistake.

Why a mistake? You two could be good together.

Yeah, except I have a girlfriend, and he's fucking madly in love with Daphne.

Brian's eyes widen. Derek's in love with Daphne?

Yep.

Fuck, this is so much better than my dead mom. Come on, lay it on me.

**

Debbie messes up Justin's hair. Feeling better?

I'm fine.

Brian's outside with your friend.

I know.

She nods. It's nice, that they get along.

They're his friends, Justin says.

Debbie nods, but Justin gives her a strange look.

He says, You know when we're in New York, our whole social life is in sign language, right? It's not like Brian only signs to me when there's no one else around.

Debbie wants to answer, doesn't know what to say and especially how she would say it.

Justin sighs. It's okay. Never mind. The casserole's good.

Thanks, Sunshine.

6:28 PM

_________

Justin takes another handful of sedatives in the terminal. Emily and Derek are on their flight, and they're sharing a package of gummi worms without really looking at each other. They'll be okay, Derek had promised Justin. They always end up okay.

Derek gets up to go the bathroom and gives Brian a headlock hug on the way. Brian shoves him.

What time were you born? Brian asks Justin suddenly.

Sometime in the afternoon, I think.

Brian nods and pulls Justin into his arms. Justin smiles up at him.

Twenty-seven, Brian says.

Twenty-seven.

Brian kisses his nose. Let's do a few more.

Okay.

7:10 PM

_________

Brian looks through the window of the plane before it takes off. Thinks about the awkward goodbyes before they left, how far away Pittsburgh seems even though they're still on the ground. Thinks about Emily asleep on his left shoulder and Justin on his right, and Derek reaching across the aisle without looking up from his magazine to hold Justin's hand as it starts to shake.

He turns and looks out the window as the plane takes off.

“Bye,” he whispers, as the wheels lift.