Bring Your Daughter to Work Day

LaVieEnRose

I'd sent Emily three texts by the time she came rushing in through Kinnetik's front doors, baby in one hand and heels in the other. She dropped the heels on the floor and stepped into them. I know, I know, I'm sorry. Can you take her for just—

No, this is an eight hundred dollar dress. I've seen what my sisters' babies do to their clothes. Where have you been? Brown's going to be here in twenty minutes.

I know, I'm sorry. Justin cancelled on me and I couldn't get a sitter.

I stared at her. You mean, until you found someone who's going to come here and collect the baby in the next nineteen minutes.

Emily winced. Yeah, about that.

Emily! We have three client meetings today, you have I don't even know how many with Brian—

I'm going to make it work.

With a baby in the office.

She's great. Great baby. No trouble.

Yeah, well, the no trouble baby was currently getting spit all over Emily's hair. See why I don't hold them?

Call down to art department and make sure they're ready, I said. The conference room needs to be set up ASAP.

On it. You got it. It's happening.

I gave her a look that I'm sure conveyed how very much I doubted it was happening and went to check the progress of the conference room and impulse-stopped in Brian's office on the way back. “Your husband better be dying,” I said.

He looked up from his computer. “Good morning. To what do we owe the good wishes?”

“Justin cancelled on Emily?”

“Uh, yeah, he woke up with a cold.” He picked up a pen and scribbled a note. “Why do you give a shit?”

“Because there is a baby out in our reception area right now.”

He looked up. “There's a baby here?”

“That's what I'm saying.”

Brian stood up, doing the worst job of disguising a smile that anyone's ever done. “Well, let me go check out this situation.”

“Oh my God.”

He walked backwards, giving me a look like he was disappointed in me. “Cynthia, we can't just have babies in the office unassessed,” he said. He opened the office door and headed to the reception area. “As the senior partner at this firm, it's my responsibility to make sure everything's running smoothly.”

“Jesus Christ.”

I followed him out to Emily's desk, where she was standing and signing to someone on the phone while she bounced Jane on her hip, who was squawking like some sort of small bird. She stretched her arms out to Brian, and he picked her up and said, Hi, hi there. How are you?

I said, What happened to making sure things ran smoothly?

Well, I didn't know it was this baby.

You absolutely did.

Hi Jane. He kissed her cheek twice, and she put her hand on Brian's face. Okay, so not only was Emily going to be distracted, but Brian was going to be useless the rest of the fucking day. He said, Come on, Jane, I'll teach you how to write a memo. He waved for Emily's attention. I'm taking her, okay?

Yeah, please, all yours.

I don't think so, I said.

Brian waved his hand dismissively at me as he walked away with the baby.

“We have Brown in...godddddamn it.” I turned to Emily. Progress?

Someone from art is coming up, and Leah's setting up the conference room now. You know, maybe this place should get a daycare. I'm not the only one with a kid.

Great idea. Think we can get it set up in the next ten minutes?

It'll be fine, Emily said. See, I don't even have her anymore.

Right, because Brian does.

Oh. Right. I should get her back before he has that meeting.

You also have that meeting, I...Jesus, I said as she walked away from me. I am talking to no one.

I followed Emily to Brian's office because what the fuck else was I going to do. Brian was, it seemed, getting Jane's opinion on an invoice. Are we paying him too much? he asked her. That seems like a lot of money to me. What do you think we should pay him?

Jane pointed to the invoice.

No, that's a bank account number, that would be much too much. You're not a good manager.

“Brian,” I said.

Don't speak in front of the Deaf baby!

I took a deep breath. Give her to Emily.

Emily needs to be in the Brown meeting.

You need to be in the Brown meeting.

Oh. True. He studied the baby. Maybe...

No, I said.

Emily said, I can sit the meeting out. It's my fault she's here.

Technically it's Justin's fault, Brian said, shifting Jane to his other hip.

There was a knock on the door and Evan stuck his head in. “Mr. Kinney, I have—” He looked up from his boards. Oh my goodness, look who's here! He came over and took the baby from Brian. Hi there, Miss Jane, are you here for a consult? You need an ad campaign? I can put something together. He kissed her and said, Is Justin here?

I said, We really need to—

Brian ignored me. He has a cold, he said to Evan. So Emily's short a babysitter.

He's been getting a lot of colds, Evan said, fixing one of the snaps on Jane's onesie.

A few.

No, he just got over that one two weeks ago, and there was one before that.

Brian just said, “Hmm,” and took the baby back.

No, give her to Evan, I said. He can watch her through the meeting.

Yeah, it's no problem, he said. I can take her downstairs, teach her how to fingerpaint.

Do not let her fingerpaint with that acrylic shit, Emily said. She'll eat it.

I was joking. He held out his hands to Brian, who gave her back to him. Okay, we're going downstairs so Mom and Dad can work, byyyye Mom and Dad.

Brian said, I'm not...oh, whatever.

Emily waved. Make good choices!

Isabel's assistant stuck his head in and told us Brown was here, and the three of us went to the conference room where I wondered why the hell anybody had babies.