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Chapter 12 - Who’s Stupid Idea Was This?

“It’s here! It’s here!” Quinne hollered as she came bursting through the doors of the cafeteria, almost toppling over a chair that got in her way as she rushed over to where her sister was sitting.

She was carrying her ever-present tablet in her hand, waving it in the air in what Qianna thought was a rather dangerous fashion. Luckily she didn’t drop it as she sprinted the last few meters and slid into the chair next to her sister. But it all happened so fast that Qianna didn’t know what it was she was supposed to be looking at when Quinne shoved the tablet in her face.

“The DNA test results are back already. I just saw the email,” Quinne explained her exuberance. “Quick. Look at your email - I bet you got yours today as well. HURRY!”

It hadn’t yet been a full six weeks since they’d sent in their vials full of spit, so Qianna hadn’t expected to see any results until the following week at the earliest. As she opened up her email app on her phone, she was almost as excited as her sister to think that they might finally have their answers. And, yes, there it was - the email from the DNA analysis company they’d chosen. One click and they would each know for sure.

“I don’t know if I’m excited or scared to death,” Quinne stated, voicing the same sentiment they were both feeling. “I mean, I’m ninety-nine percent sure we’re related, but what if we did the test wrong before . . .”

“Well, you won’t know till you open the emails,” Stella, who was sitting across the table from them prodded. “Go on already, I’m dying to see what you guys find out.”

Both girls looked at each other, smiled, and then simultaneously clicked on the links provided in their respective emails. The links opened up to each girl’s account where they had to type in their personal passwords before the actual results were displayed. The output, even though it was nicely displayed and well laid out, was voluminous. They had to click through several different pages to get to what they really wanted to see. They only briefly scanned through all the info on their ethnicity make up - which they expected would vary since they had different fathers - and didn’t bother to even look at the section about some 5th Great Grandfather they had in common. What they wanted to delve into more than anything was the section that listed any and all DNA matches they might have. 

When they opened up the ‘DNA Matches’ section there was a long list of matches and possible matches listed. Of course the lists were limited to others who had already used the same ancestry service so they weren’t complete by any means. But there WERE some matches that came up, causing the girls to almost vibrate with anticipation as they read through the analyses.

The main match that came up at the very top of the chart was the link to each other, which reinforced what they knew from the tests they’d already done. The analysis said that there was ‘Extremely High’ confidence that they were related - which was as close to a sure thing as the service offered. But that was more than good enough for the twins. For all intents and purposes this was proof positive that they were, indeed, sisters.

As neither of their fathers had ever used the service, there were no matches listed to them, and unfortunately there wasn’t a listing to a potential mother either. However, there WERE several matches to people listed as ‘1st-2nd Cousins’. And when they clicked through the additional information provided on those matches, at least two of them seemed to be matches from their mother’s side of the equation.

“YES! I knew we’d find someone,” Stella bruited as she read over Quinne’s shoulder. “Now all you have to do is email one of these two and ask if they know your mom or how to contact her.”

“You are a genius, Stella. Thank you for coming up with this idea,” Qianna complimented their friend, adding a huge smile in thanks. “How about you contact that ‘Devon’ guy and I’ll email the woman here, ‘Malina’.”

“Okay,” Quinne agreed and then cautioned her sister before she could start typing. “Remember not to give away too much personal information - at least not at first. We don’t need to be telling strangers on the internet everything about us, especially that we’re still kids. I think I’m just going to explain in very vague terms that we’re trying to locate our mother and leave it at that. If we get responses from these guys, and they seem legit, we can give them more info.”

“Good idea,” Qianna echoed, and typed out a similarly ambiguous query email.

“Sent!” Quinne declared as she tapped at the screen of her tablet to send the missive on its way. “Now we just have to wait . . . Again.”

“It sucks, but we’re at least a little closer to finding an answer, which is all we can hope for at this point, right?” Qianna, ever the optimist, asserted, while she continued to scan through the rest of the results that had come up on her test. “Hey, look at this. It looks like my dad’s sister is on here - this match is listed as close family and she goes by the name ‘MollT’. Small world, huh?”

“You should contact her,” Stella suggested. “If she’s still a homophobic bitch you’ll know soon enough, but there’s always the chance she’s changed. You said your dad hasn’t talked to her since he was, like, in high school or something, right? That’s a long time and maybe she’d be willing to renew contact. At least that way you’d have more family, which was part of why you were doing this, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know. If she really wanted to get in touch with dad or me, she could have done it ages ago through my Grandma Jen. Grandma still sees her and talks to her all the time. What if she’s mean or something?”

“Then you block her ass and move on,” Quinne advised. “But you don’t know that she’ll be mean. She might just be lazy or busy with her own life or not sure how to go about making up with Justin. I’m with Stella on this. Go ahead and contact her and see what happens.”

“Okay. Here goes nothing,” Qianna said as she fired off a quick email to the woman listed as MollT. “Let’s hope I didn’t just open up a huge can of worms.”

They were just getting into looking at the additional matches on Quinne’s father’s side of the family when their research was interrupted by the arrival of Pooh Bear coming by to round up the campers and shuttle them off to the next event in Earth Sciences Week. “Let’s go, Ladies. Those portable desalination kits aren’t going to operate themselves,” she warned, prompting them to jump up and hurry off to the lab with the rest of the group.

///~///~///~

“Hey, QiQi!” Stella startled her friend when she came up behind her without warning the following Saturday morning. 

“Damn! How’d you know it was me?” Qianna asked, quickly reaching up to make sure no tell-tale blond hair had escaped from under the beanie hat she was wearing that day. “I thought Quinne and I were getting pretty good at the twin thing.”

“You are. You even managed to fool Pooh Bear yesterday. But I finally figured out the secret of how to tell you apart, so I’m immune to your twin powers,” Stella declared with a bit of smugness.

“There’s a secret?”

“What secret?” Quinne demanded as she arrived a moment later and slid into the bench of the picnic table next to her sister where Qianna had been enjoying a bit of sun before the August day got too hot to tolerate. “I love secrets.”

“You won’t love this one,” Qianna announced. “Stell says there’s a secret way to tell us apart even with our hair covered.”

“That’s not good. If she can tell us apart, our father’s will be able to do it too,” Quinne voiced the same fear her twin had worried over. “Okay, give, Stell. What’s giving us away?”

Stella stood there, hands on hips, smirking down at the two ALMOST identical girls, looking very proud of herself. “It’s your ears,” she explained succinctly.

“Our ears?” both Quinne and Qianna said at the exact same time. Both grabbed at their earlobes - the only parts visible beneath the knitted rims of their headwear - at the same time too. And then the answer dawned on the both of them simultaneously. “Shit! Our ears!” They said in tandem.

“Yep. Quinne’s ears are pierced and yours aren’t, QiQi,” Stella announced definitively.

“My dad said I had to wait till I was fourteen to get them pierced,” Qianna offered. “He didn’t want to deal with me having to take care of the piercings and losing earrings and stuff.”

“That’s stupid,” Quinne laughed. “It’s not like getting a puppy or anything. Once you get them pierced they don’t take any work. You clean ‘em with peroxide for the first two weeks and you’re good. Your dad is such a drama queen sometimes, QiQi.”

“Tell me about it. But it wasn’t worth fighting him over,” Qianna explained, shaking her head. “So what are we gonna do about it? It’d be a dead giveaway - you can always tell my dad you got yours pierced over the summer, but I can’t pretend to be you and claim that somehow, miraculously, the piercings closed up completely in just a couple months.”

“Simple. We’re just going to have to get yours pierced,” Quinne asserted.

“How? Don’t the piercing places require you to have a parent along if you’re underage?”

“I saw in a movie once where this boy pierced his by himself using a needle,” Stella suggested. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard. It might hurt though.”

Qianna looked worried at the mention of potential pain. 

“We don’t have to do this,” Quinne offered. “You can still change your mind. We could just come clean to our dads, demand that they fess up, and that they figure out a way for us to continue seeing each other.”

“But what if they refuse? What if they’re still so angry at each other because of whatever broke them up that they forbid us from having ANY contact at all. I’d never get to meet Gus or Auntie Em or any of the rest of them.”

“They can’t keep us apart forever, QiQi.”

“Yeah, only till we’re eighteen, which is, like, an eon from now, Q,” an overly dramatic Qianna moaned. “No! Fuck it! I won’t give up on everything we’ve planned just because of a little pain. My one chance to get to Pittsburgh is worth the sacrifice of my ears. Let’s do this.”

“Damn, Girl! You sure you want to be an Architect instead of an actress?” Quinne asked, channeling her inner Emmett. “Cuz you got the drama thing DOWN, Sweetie!”

And they all broke out giggling - even Qianna, despite her embarrassed blushes - while Stella went online and looked up what supplies they’d need to effectuate this last part of their physical transformation.

///~///~///~

“Is it getting any better yet?” Quinne asked sympathetically as she carefully settled on the couch next to her sister. 

Qianna shrugged noncommittally. “Did it hurt this much when you got your ears pierced, Q?”

“I don’t remember. I was only eight at the time. All I recall was that my Auntie Em had promised me ice cream if I didn’t cry, and I was determined not to let anything get between me and that chocolate fudge,” Quinne explained, distracting the injured girl long enough to get a smile out of her. “For what it’s worth, I think those faux diamond studs we picked out are really pretty on you.”

“Thanks, but I think they just accentuate how red and bruised my earlobes look,” she whinged, making the saddest face Quinne had ever seen. 

She didn’t have to think of something else to say to try and cheer Qianna up, though, because a welcome distraction arrived in the form of a phone call lighting up the screen of Qianna’s phone.

“It’s my dad,” Qianna said after a quick glance at the caller ID. “You take it, Q. I’m not in the mood.”

Quinne was happy to take the call, thus avoiding further discussion about her sister’s regrets over letting her friends pierce her ears. “Hey, Dad! How’s it going?” she answered the call.

“Not bad. Well, except that Alex wants to go with the surf and turf plate for the rehearsal dinner rather than the salmon, and the chef was a little ticked off at yet another change in the menu. I think I worked it out with him, though,” Justin explained with a deep sigh. 

“Daaaadddd,” Quinne remonstrated, forgetting for a moment that she was supposed to be the quiescent Qianna. “This is getting ridiculous. Alex needs to be given a time out - he keeps saying he doesn’t want to be involved in the planning but then he objects to everything you and I decide. It’s really past time you put your foot down and tell him there won’t be any more changes and if he doesn’t like it he can pound sand. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of him acting like a prissy bitch.”

“Qianna! Language, please!” Justin immediately corrected. 

“Sorry, Dad. He just makes me so angry,” she apologized and then ventured into an attempt to address the real problem. “Are you really sure this whole marriage thing is a good idea? Alex doesn’t seem like he’s going to be the easiest person to live with if he can’t even be agreeable about the wedding.”

“Honey, don’t get in the middle of it, please,” Justin admonished gently. “My relationship with Alex is up to me and him. I’m not backing out of a commitment I made just because of a few hiccups in the wedding planning.”

“But he’s not making you happy, Dad. And it’s not just a few hiccups; he hasn’t liked ANYTHING we’ve planned from day one. He’s causing you a lot of headaches and costing you a lot of money. He never seems satisfied with anything, no matter how much you defer to his whims,” Quinne continued to protest. “Tell me, how is this supposed to work out in the long run? Huh? Because if simply trying to plan a wedding together is this much of a problem, what’s it going to be like when real life hits? How is constantly catering to Alex at every turn going to work for YOU, Dad?”

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone line while Justin seemed to think - really think - about what Quinne had said. She waited as patiently as she could, hoping that maybe she’d finally got through to the man. But, in the end, all Justin did was sigh unhappily and clear his throat.

“It’ll be okay, Peanut. But I WILL talk to Alex and tell him that there can’t be any more last minute changes from here on out, okay?” Justin offered in compromise. 

“I guess. I just want you to be happy and I’m worried about you, Dad.”

“Thank you, Honey, but you don’t need to worry about me. I’m the parent here and I’m the one who’s supposed to be doing all the worrying,” he insisted. “Although, from what I hear, it doesn’t seem like I need to worry about you. It sounds like you’re doing great.”

“I am,” Quinne agreed. “But who have you been talking to other than me?”

“Well, I’m really not supposed to say anything, but since I already gave it away, I guess . . . I got an email today from the folks at the camp. They wanted the parents of students who will be receiving special awards to make sure they attend the end of summer celebration. I'm so proud of you, Honey”

“Awards Ceremony? When is this ceremony supposed to happen?” Quinne asked with a sinking feeling.

“It's the last day of camp, of course. Which is great because, not only will I get to watch you and the others get your awards, but I'll get to see you a day earlier than planned. I've really missed you, Peanut, even if we have been chatting almost daily about the wedding plans. But now I only have to wait another week and a half before I'll get to see you again.”

“You know, it's okay with me if you don't come to the awards thing. I'm sure it's not going to be that big a deal. It's not worth changing your plans over,” Quinne tried to dissuade Justin.

“Nonsense,” he immediately brushed off her attempt to deter his attendance. “I WANT to be there for you, Honey. I’ve already changed my flight and booked a hotel for the extra night. I just can't WAIT to see what amazing things you guys have been up to all summer. And this way I'll have a chance to meet some of your friends - maybe even that roommate you keep talking about - before we all have to jet off to our real lives again the next day.”

“Uh . . . Great . . . Um, Dad, I've got to go.”

“Okay, Sweetheart. I'll talk to you later. Love you, Hon.”

“Ditto, Dad. Bye!” Quinne rushed her own goodbyes and then turned towards her sister with a look of panic. “We've got a problem. A HUGE problem!”

“What?” Qianna looked up from the sketchpad she'd been doodling in, not having paid any attention to her sister’s conversation.

“Let me just check something real quick and then I’ll explain . . .” 

Quinne logged into her own chat using Qianna’s phone and quickly typed out a message. She impatiently waited for about thirty seconds, her eyes never leaving the screen. When the display lit up with a return message, Quinne groaned aloud. Then she turned the phone around so Qianna could read the messages that had been exchanged.

Quinne: Hey, Pops! In case you got an email from the camp about some stupid Awards Ceremony thing, I just want you to know that it’s totally bogus and you don’t really need to be here for it. I’ll be happy to see you the next day when you pick me up to get the hell out of here.

Brian: Bullshit! We both know I love watching my daughter get awards. It’s almost as good as getting awards myself. I’ve already changed my flights to be there. Can’t wait to see all those other campers and their parents gushing over how smart you are. See you a week from Wednesday!

“Awards Ceremony?” Qianna asked, feeling like she was missing something.

“Yeah. And guess what, both your dad and my pops are planning to be here for it,” Quinne elaborated.

“Together?”

“Yep.”

“Shit!”

“Exactly!”

“What are we going to do? If they see each other here . . .”

“Or even just see the two of us together . . .”

“It’ll ruin all our plans!” Qianna moaned. “Damn it! Who’s stupid idea was this Awards thingy anyway?”

“I think we’re the victims of our own excellence - your dad said that it was only the parents of the kids winning awards that got the email telling them to come earlier,” Quinne explained. “Since both our fathers got the email, it seems we both did a little too good at our projects this summer.”

“Well that’s totally bullshit! See if I ever try to do a good job again,” Qianna threatened, only half teasing. “But I really wanted to go to Pittsburgh. I want to meet your Pops and Gus and Grandma Debbie and everyone else. And Emmett and I just finished planning our Saturday evening spa night and everything. I even went through with letting you and Stella mangle my earlobes - which my Dad is going to kill me for when he finds out - all for nothing? It’s just not fair. Why is the stupid camp ruining EVERYTHING?”

“To be honest, I was kinda looking forward to meeting your dad, too. He’s so sweet. He really needs someone there with him to stand up to The Hairy Yeti,” Quinne commiserated with her sister. 

“Hey, Ladies. Why so glum?” Stella asked a few minutes later as she sauntered up to where the twins were sitting looking totally dejected. “Your ears can’t be hurting that much, QiQi.”

“It’s not my ears; it’s my LIFE! Our whole plan has been totally torpedoed!” Quinne announced with a heavy sigh. 

“What? Why?” Stella demanded.

“Our dads are both coming a day early for some idiotic Awards Ceremony the camp is doing,” Qianna explained. “Apparently we’re BOTH getting awards. And once our dads see us together - and see each other - there’s no way our plan to switch places will work. They’d be on alert for the wrong daughter and will probably whisk us away, back to our boring old lives a whole continent apart, as soon as the damn awards are handed out.”

“And that’s assuming they would even stay for the Awards Ceremony at all,” Quinne cautioned. “We still have no idea what broke them up or why they split us up, so there’s no saying how they’ll react when they see each other again. What if they’re still so angry that they just want to leave right then and there? What if they won’t even let us say goodbye? This could be a total disaster.”

“So much for us trying to figure out what happened with our mother or trying to plan a way to stay in contact,” Qianna’s crestfallen tone echoed her sister’s hopelessness. 

At first Stella seemed almost as dispirited as the girls, but the longer she listened to their recitation of all the supposed tragedies that were about to befall them, the more incensed and determined she got. Maybe it helped that she was a little more removed from the situation than the twins. Or maybe she was even more stubborn than her friends. But instead of falling victim to a sense of despair, Stella ended up even more determined.

“Come on, guys! We didn’t work this hard all summer turning you two into each other to give up now, did we? There’s got to be a way to still work this. Right?” Both Qianna and Quinne looked at Stella like she was insane, but that only made her more resolute. “You’re not going to just give up, are you? I know there’s got to be a way to salvage your plan. We can figure it out. After all, we’re all brilliant; we just need to approach this as another type of challenge. It’s like . . . It’s like an Engineering Project - ‘How to keep two objects in motion from coming into contact with each other for a specified period of time’. We just need to design a solution and then engineer it to function within the desired parameters. It’s, like, totally doable, guys!” Stella pulled her trusty laptop out of her backpack, cleared some space off the coffee table in front of the couch where the girls were sitting, and then plopped herself down on the carpet so she could start typing. “Okay. The variables here are your dads. We’ll call them Object B and Object J. And the stated goal is to keep B and J from coming into contact. So, what materials do we have to work with? . . .”

Reluctantly Qianna and Quinne were drawn into Stella’s planning. This wasn’t going to be easy. There were a lot of unknowns. They were going to need to do some serious research if this new plan had any hope of working. 

One thing was perfectly clear right from the start, though.

“We’re gonna need a LOT more help,” Quinne determined, to the nods of co-conspirators.

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