Justin held Brinn close as the child slept.  He watched the agents working on Jarod. The tears continued to roll down Justin’s cheeks as he sat on the floor kissing his child.

“Justin, Justin!” Brian came through the door and fell to his knees next to his family.  He rained kisses on Justin and Brinn. “Are you alright? Is Brinn Ok?” He kissed Justin and then Brinn.  

Paramedics came up the steps and took over Jarod’s care.  The agents had bandaged Jarod’s wounds enough to control the bleeding and they rushed him away.

“Where did they take him?  Where are they taking him?”  Justin started getting up but Brian held them down.  Another pair of paramedics came through the door and walked up to Brinn.  The paramedic reached down for Brinn but Justin held her tight.

“Sir, we need to look at the child.”

“Justin, sweetheart, they need to look at Brinn.  They aren’t going anywhere with her. They just want to…” Brian reached for Brinn and slowly loosened Justin’s grip.  “Sunshine, they need to check Brinn over. We need to know she is alright.” He took Brinn out of Justin’s arms and lay her on the gerny.  The paramedics listened to her heart and took her pulse. They checked her over for bruises.

“Gentlemen, we don’t see anything but she needs to come to the hospital.  She has been unconscious a long time. A doctor needs to look at her.”

Justin stepped forward.  “You are not taking her anywhere.  We aren’t letting her go.”

Brian turned Justin’s head to look at him, “Sunshine, Brinn needs to go be checked out.” Directing his  conversation to the paramedics, he said, “I am sure you can ride in the ambulance with her.” The paramedics nodded.  “I will be following in the police car so I will be right behind you. Sunshine, you need to do this for Brinn.”

“Sir,” The paramedic said to Justin. “You can carry her down and get in the ambulance with her. I won’t take her out of your arms as long as I can keep checking her pulse, Ok?”  

Brian nodded at the paramedic and put an arm around Justin helping them down the stairs.  There was a black SUV sitting right behind the ambulance and once Justin and Brinn were safely on board, Brian climbed in with the agent.   The agent looked at Brian. “Sir, I will get you there as fast I can.” Brian texted the family and let them know they had Brinn and were on the way to the hospital.  He said he would get in touch again soon.

Justin clung to Brinn, “Baby Girl, please wake up.  Sweetheart, please, it’s daddy.” He kissed her. The paramedic had been talking to a doctor.  

“It’s Justin, right?  We need to get an IV started.  The doctor wants her on saline solution as soon as possible. We need to flush her system.  We don’t know what she was given so the best thing is to try to flush it out of her system until we get blood work done.  Justin, her breathing is steady and so is her pulse. Those are good signs. We are almost there.”

“Do you know anything about the man that was stabbed?  Is there anyway you can find out if he has made it so far?”

“All they have said is they arrived at the hospital.  We are within five minutes of the hospital.”

Brian hadn’t said a word on the way to the hospital. All he could think about was his daughter and husband.  Justin had looked like he was in shock. He wondered about Jarod. The man may have saved Justin’s life or Brinn’s.  He wondered if anyone had contacted his wife already. He would send the plane to get her. As the SUV pulled up to the emergency entrance, Brian jumped out before it stopped.  He ran to the ambulance where Justin was just getting out. The paramedic was right behind him carrying an IV bag. As he walked through the door, with Brian now at his side, Brinn was snatched from Justin’s arm before he could react.

“NOOO!” Brian pulled Justin close.  

“Sunshine, let them do there job.  They need to look her over. We can wait out of the way.”

“Brian, can you go check on Jarod.  He saved us. He didn’t look good.”

“Ok, but you need to stay out of the way.  I will be back soon.” He took Justin in his arms and kissed him.  She’s alive and we have her back! Do you have a phone number for Jarod’s wife? I will call her and line up for the plane to pick her up.” Justin handed him his phone. He kissed him again and walked away.  

Brian walked to the nurses’ station.  “Where is Jarod? The man who came in with stab wounds. He came in with the Mountie’s I think. I am calling his wife and want to give her an update.”

“He is in surgery right now,” the nurse said, giving no more information.

Brian called Shay.  “Justin, Justin is that you.  Do you know anything, Justin? How is Brinn?”

“Shay, this is Brian, Justin’s husband.  I have sent a plane down to pick you up. Can you be at the airport close to your home in 3 hours? You should be up here by the time he wakes up from surgery.”

“I will be there.  Thank you. Did you see him? Do you know anything?” Shay asked with tears in her voice.

“All they will tell me is he is in surgery. I need to get back to Brinn.” He hung up and was gone.

Justin stood in the same spot as when Brian left.  “Anything?

Justin just shook his head.  Brian pulled him close. “Soon.  They have to talk to us soon.” Brian kissed him on the forehead and held him. Ten minutes later the doctor came out of the room.

“Gentlemen, I am Dr. Rens. Are one of you the father?”

“We both are.  Why isn’t she waking up, doctor?  What did you find out?” Justin asked.

“We have sent the blood sample to the lab.  We put it on a rush order. It could be several things but the fact that she is still with us and her vitals are all good, I think whatever it is, it just needs to wear off.”

“Dr. Rens, we think she has been drugged for several weeks.  Will this have any permanent….”

“I cannot know anything more until we get the results.  That will probably be first thing in the morning. They are moving Brinn to a room in pediatrics.  Why don’t you go up to the 5th floor waiting room. Someone will get you from there.”

“Dr. Rens, can you find out anything about the gentleman brought in just ahead of Brinn.  He saved her life but was stabbed because of it.”

“I will check into it and find you on the 5th floor.”  He walked away.

Brian and Justin sat in the waiting room for 30 minutes. Justin seemed nearly catatonic.  A nurse finally came and took them to a room. Brinn lay in a crib in the room. Justin looked at the nurse. “I am going to hold her.”  It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

“But, sir…..”

“I am going to hold her.  What is the best way for me to do it?  Brian moved a chair closer to the bed and Justin sat down.  The nurse carefully moved Brinn with the IV cord. Brian helped adjust the reclining chair and Justin lay down holding Brinn on his chest.

Dr. Rens walked in.  The nurse said, “Doctor, he insisted on holding her.”  He said it was fine and waved her out of the room.

“I just found out that your friend is out of surgery. His condition is guarded.  He had a knick in an artery and lost a great deal of blood. It is too soon to know the outcome.  His organs could still shut down. It is a waiting game.”

“Thank you, doctor. His wife will be here in a couple hours.”

“I will let his doctor know. He will be sleeping for a long time.”  Dr. Rens left the room leaving Justin and Brian alone with their daughter.

“Do you think there is room for me in that chair?”  Justin slid over and Brian squeezed in next to him. Brian encircled both Justin and Brinn in his arms.  “Sunshine, she will be Ok. She knows we love her. She knows we are here for her. She has to know we are here.”  Justin rested his head on Brian’s shoulder and was soon sleeping.

Brian was so caught up in the moment he didn’t realize he had tears running down his cheeks.  He didn’t know he could love anybody or anything this much. He didn’t know what living was until Justin and Gus came into his life the same night and now Brinn.  He wasn’t sure what time it was when he drifted off but it was well after midnight.

Justin was sure he was dreaming.  He was dreaming about his baby girl.  She was calling for him and patting his face. “Dadadada,” pat pat pat, “Dada.”   Justin never wanted to leave this dream. He could feel Brian breathing next to him with his daughter in his arms.  But he was waking up and as he slowly opened his eyes he again felt the pat pat pat of a little hand. He heard a very soft, “Dada.”  As he blinked his sleepy eyes he saw the equally sleepy blue eyes of Brinn.

Instantly, Justin was awake.  “Oh, Brinny! My Baby Girl.” He said it quietly as not to scare her.  His arms wrapped tighter around her and he lowered his mouth to kiss her head. “Oh, Baby.  I love you, sweetheart. I love you so much.”

By now Brian had woken up.  He tightened his arm around them both. “Good Morning,” he kissed Justin.  “Good Morning, Beautiful girl.” He leaned over and kissed Brinn. Brinn raised her face to her dad and gave a sweet smile as she shut her eyes and went back to sleep. Tears streaming down their cheeks, Brian and Justin’s lips met again.  “She is going to be ok, Justin. I can just feel it but I better go tell the nurse she woke up and I will go check on Jarod.”

Justin looked at Brian, “Thank you.  I didn’t want to ask but I need to know.”  They kissed once more and Brian slipped out of the chair and walked out the door.

At the nurses’ station he let them know she had woken  up but was sleeping again. He then asked where Jarod was and went up a floor to intensive care.  He came off the elevator and saw a striking redhead in the waiting room by herself. He walked up. “Shay?”  She nodded. “I’m Brian. We spoke on the phone. How is he?” He sat next to her.

“They have him in an induced coma,” she pulled out a tissue and wiped her eyes. “They still say his chances are up in the air.”  Brian put his arm around her.

“How is your daughter?  I heard she had been drugged. She is a real sweetheart.  I hope she is Ok.”

“She woke up a bit ago and recognized us. The doctor will be in shortly to see if there are any lasting effects.  They needed to see the tox screen this morning before they could tell for sure. Please, come down to room 523 if you need a break from sitting here alone.  The desk can ring you there if there is change.”

“I will do that after the morning rounds.  I would like to see your sweety. Well, both of your sweeties really.  Justin is a very special man.”

“Yes, yes he is.  I love both of them more than I can explain.”  He looked at Shay and knew she knew what had happened. He wasn’t sure how he knew it but it was obvious.  “So you and Jarod have talked?”

“Brian I have known since we married that Jarod enjoyed men once in a while but he loved me. I never looked at it like a competition.  Justin is the one exception. If you weren’t in the picture I am not sure he would stay with me but I know how much Justin loves you and how committed he is to your family. He loves me but he has a fixation for Justin.  I can understand why,” she smiled before dissolving into tears. “What am I going to do if….” Brian pulled her close.

As Shay started pulling her together, a doctor walked up.  “Excuse me. I am glad to see you have a friend with you. I just checked on your husband and it appears we are going to need to go back into surgery.  His blood pressure is dropping which probably means he is still bleeding internally. We will be taking him up right now.”

“Doctor, Shay will be waiting in Room 523 with me. Please have them notify her there.”

The doctor nodded and walked away.  

“I really need to get back to Brinn. Justin needs a break whether he wants one or not.” They rode the elevator down a floor and walked into the room.  Brinn had been laid in the bed and Justin sat next to her holding her hand. Brian walked up to him and took his other hand, kissing it.

“I brought Shay  down so she had someone to wait with.  They just brought Jarod back to surgery.”  Justin stood and walked over to Shay. He hugged her.  She held on tight to him for a long moment.

“How is our little angel? Has the doctor come in?” Brian asked.

“She’s here now,” a young woman stood in the door.  “We just got the blood results back,” She said as she looked at the chart.  “I am Dr. Glin. I was given Brinn’s case this morning and I have just had a chance to review all of the records.  It appears your daughter had been heavily medicated. We can’t tell exactly how long but it has built up to a high level.  We drew blood again this morning and the levels are dropping but everything looks good. We will keep her here until it is out of her system.  She will start waking up more and for longer amount of time. Hopefully in two to three days it will clear her blood. Gentlemen, I think your daughter will be fine.”  

Justin let out an audible sigh of relief.  Brian’s lips came down on his and Justin melted into him. Brian looked over at Dr. Glin. “Thank you, doctor.”  Brian went back to kissing Justin.

“If you would like to try to wake her every couple hours you may.  Don’t expect her to wake up but she may part of the time. Let her system get rid of this in its own time.  It is her body’s way of adjusting and not going through a withdrawal.” The doctor said he would be back later in the day.

Justin and Brian again kissed and this time Justin’s hand slipped to Brian’s crotch. Brian instantly responded and the kiss went a step deeper.

“Um, Brian, Justin. Um, I’m still here.”

“Oh, sorry, Shay.  How inconsiderate!”  Justin walked over and put his hand on her shoulder.

“Guys, do me a favor.  Let me stay with your sweetheart for a while and you two go…..well, you two need time together.  Jarod will be in surgery for at least two hours. I have your number. If she starts moving around, I promise to let you know.”  

Brian kissed Shay’s cheek and took Justin’s hand. He again kissed him and this time Justin ground himself against Brian.  “Oh, god, where can we go?” They walked up to the nurses’ station and glanced at the board. They found a room at the end of the hall was empty.  They slipped past the nurse on duty and into the room. Brian slammed Justin again the door and jammed his hand down the front of his pants. He began softly manipulating Justin’s balls as his tongue darted in and out of Justin’s mouth. Justin’s legs began to buckle as he moaned.  

“Sunshine, I can’t do everything I want to here. But I need to be inside you.” He shut the curtain around the bed.

‘I need you inside of me.  Please, baby, take me. Take me now, anyway you can.”  

Brian turned Justin so his back was against Brian’s chest. He reached around and undid Justin’s pants, slipping them down. He bent Justin over the bed, adjusting the height  with the remote so Justin’s head was lower than his ass, making it stick out. Brian ran his hands over the smooth skin of Justin’s ass over and over. Brian lowered his mouth and ran his tongue between Justin’s cheeks. He undid his own pants and took out his erect cock.  He started running it up and down Justin’s crack. The tip already had precum on it. Brian pressed it against the opening and Justin cried out as it slid in. Brian froze, letting Justin adjust and then began moving. Brian wasn’t sure why but Justin was move vocal then he had ever been. Brian thought he heard the door to the room creak open.

“Hello?”  the voice of a young woman  said.

Brian said, “Oh, sorry, I needed a place to change clothes.  I will be out of here in a minute.”

“Oh, no rush, sir.”

Brian put a hand over Justin’s mouth and pressed all the way in.   Justin leaned back and Brian captured his mouth as he began to move.  Brian reached around and took Justin’s balls in his hands and began to manipulate them.  Within minutes they both bent over and Justin buried his face in the mattress as Brian pressed all the way in as they both began to spasm. Brian put his mouth to Justin’s ear, “I love you, Sunshine. Let’s go see our daughter.”  They straightened their clothes and Justin turned into Brian’s arms again.

“I love you, too, darling. I can’t wait to take her home.”

Justin and Brian strolled into Brinn’s room to find Shay holding her hand.  “Brinn was a little restless. She hasn’t woken up but I think she may soon. They did come in and took out her IV. They expect her to be awake enough to eat soon.”  Justin walked over and scooped Brinn up.

“Thanks, Shay,” Brian said quietly.  “We needed a bit of time alone.”

“I could tell Justin needed to get out even though he would have never admitted it and it distracted me.  I am going a bit stir crazy. I wonder how much longer it will be. I wonder if…”

Brian put an arm around her.   “I’ll go and see if I can find out anything about the surgery.”

Brian went to the nurses’ desk and asked them to check on the surgery.  Minutes later the nurse told him Jarod was heading out of surgery now and would be back in intensive care in about 30 minutes.

Brian returned to the room and let Justin and Shay know that Jarod would be back in 30 minutes. Brian walked over to Justin. “Sweetheart, why don’t you go with Shay.  I can watch the Princess.” Softly, he said, “I think you should be there for him and for Shay.” He reached over and took Brinn from Justin’s arms. Brian kissed Justin again. “Go on, Sunshine.” Justin kissed Brinn and then placed a hand on Shay’s waist and they walked out.

Justin followed Shay onto the elevator, “Shay, I…..I’m sorry.  Jarod saved my life, saved Brinn. And, Shay….” the door slid open. They stepped out and Justin followed Shay down the hall.  Jarod had just been rolled into his room and the nurses were getting all the equipment set up. The nurse assured Shay the doctor would come up in a few minutes but she needed to wait in the lounge.  Justin guided her back to the waiting room. After they sat down Justi continued. “Shay,I need to say this.”

“Justin you don’t need to say anything. Jarod told me what happened and, although he didn’t say it,  he could have stopped you. Justin, you don’t want my husband. You needed someone and he was there and some part of him will always love you.”

“Please! Let me say it.  I am sorry for screwing your husband, for hurting him when he is so….I am so sorry I hurt you.in the process.”

A doctor walked up in scrubs. “Shay?”  She nodded. “Everything went well. We found a knick that was missed.  We will keep him in an induced coma for the next 24 hours. If everything is stable then, we will bring him out of it.  I suggest you get some sleep. I am sure there is a room nearby that you could sleep in.”

“No, I don’t want to leave him.”

“Shay, you need to get some sleep. Come on, honey, let’s find you a room.” Justin led her to the desk and the nurse pointed them to a door promising she would get her if anything happened.

Justin guided Shay to the bed.  Lay down and get some sleep”. Justin’s phone vibrated. ”Brian is texting.  You know how to get us if you need us. Now sleep.” He kissed her forehead and left the room. He ran off the unit and down the steps to the floor below. He  ran into Brinn’s room. “What’s wrong? Is Brinn….”

“Dadada.”

“Someone wanted her daddy.” Brian walked over to meet Justin.

“Dadadada,” Brinn reached for Justin.  

Justin took Brinn and snuggled her close.  “Oh, Brinny! Daddy’s here and I am so happy to see you.” He kissed her and then kissed Brian long and hard. Softly he whispered, “How can seeing our daughter looking happy make me SO horny. God, I want toooooo…” Brian’s hand ran over Justin’s ass.

“Soon we will have her back in her own bed and you and I will be in ours.”  Brian started slipping his hand down the back of Justin’s pants when the door opened.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Doctor Glin walked in. “Hello, little lady. It is so nice to see you awake.”

Brinn grinned at her. Patting Justin’s nose, “Dadada.”  

“Yes, that is your daddy.  Let’s take a look at you. Justin, would you mind sitting in the chair with her?”  Justin sat down and the doctor rolled up on a stool. Dr. Glin listened to her heart and checked her reflexes.  Brinn clung to Justin and when the doctor tried to turn her head to check her eyes and she recoiled and started crying.  “I am sorry, little one. I am sorry you had such a bad experience.” Looking at Brian and Justin, “I didn’t mean to scare her.  She seems to be doing well.” She looked at Brinn in Justin’s arms and Brinn’s head was now laying on his shoulder as she sniffled a bit but she was beginning to sleep again.  “I want to keep her at least another 24 hours and if nothing unusual shows up she will be able to go home the next morning. I can tell the two of you are the best medicine for her but, gentlemen, you need to take care of yourself.  You need to leave this building and stay away for several hours. You need to rest, clean up. I insist. You will be no good for this little one if you can’t function. She will sleep several hours, now go.”

“Do you have any suggestions where we could go that is very close?”

Dr. Glin handed them a card.  “They are just across the road.  And they have rates by the hour for the right reason if you just want to stay for 8 hours. Now go.”

Justin was too tired to argue.  He quickly texted Shay and let her know they would be at the hotel. Shay responded.  Brian grabbed a bag the FBI agents had brought for them. It was just some workout clothes but it was clean.  

Brian and Justin walked across the street.  “Brian, I really don’t know…”

Brian kissed Justin.  “It’s doctor’s orders.  We need to listen.”

“She is not our doctor. What if she wakes up? I can’t let her be there….”

“Justin, we need a bed and a shower.  We need each other.”

They walked into the hotel and checked in.  They were given a room on the bottom floor. Brian reached for Justin’s shirt and tugged it off. He then tossed his own to the side. “We both need a shower and sleep.” Justin and Brian each pulled off their own pants and Brian started the water he stepped in and reached a hand out to Justin. He took it and stepped under the water and into Brian’s arm. Brian began to lower his lips.  “We will be able to go home with our girl, soon. And you and I will be able to……..” Justin’s lips came up to meet his and their shower slicked bodies slid together. As they kissed Brian rubbed soap all over Justin and then on himself. The water washed all the soap away. Brian felt Justin growing sluggish in his arms as they kissed. He turned off the water and grabbed a couple towels.  He dried Justin off. Justin reached for the towel to dry Brian but he held him for a moment and whispered. Just go to bed, darling. I will be there in a couple minutes. Justin left the bathroom.

By the time Brian came out of the bathroom moments later, Justin was sound asleep. Brian slid up behind him, spooning him.  Wrapping his arm around Justin, he fell asleep.

Six hours later Brian woke in the same position he fell asleep.  The sun was just creeping into the room between the curtains that had been drawn.  He breathed in the scent of Justin and he need for this man became evident. His lips settled on the curve of Justin’s neck and kissed the soft skin below his ear.  Brian’s hand slid across Justin’s test settling on one of his nipples and then moving to the other. Justin let out a sigh.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” Brian’s tongue began to move down Justin’s spine as his hand drifted below Justin’s waist.  He slid down lower and his mouth found the cleft in his ass. His hand went to Justin’s cock that was now waking up quickly.   Brian’s tongue found what it was looking for. Justin groaned.

“Brian, I need you.”

“You will get me but I think we need to play a bit first.” Both his tongue and hands stayed busy. Justin began thrashing. “Turn over,Sunshine.”  Justin did and Brian took him in his mouth. Justin vocalized a noise he had never heard before. He began to thrust into Brian’s mouth and Brian took him all the way in as Justin thrust to the back of his throat.  As Brian drug his tongue over his straining cock Justin emptied himself into Brian’s mouth. Brian grabbed for some lube he had dropped on the end table the night stand the night before. He used it liberally. “Turn over, darling.”  

“Hard, I want it hard, baby.” Brian drove all the way in, in one stroke. Justin cried out.  Brian let him adjust for just a second. He grabbed Justin’s flaccid cock and as he began to move  so did Justin’s penis. Brian hung on until Justin was ready again and together they crested and descended.  

Within seconds Justin was antsy.  “Yes, let’s get ready and head next door.” Brian kissed him once more and they both headed to the shower.

Thirty minutes later Justin was giving Brinn a bottle and Brian was checking with Shay and Jarod.  Shay was with him when Brian arrived. As she left his room, Shay saw Brian and ran into his arms. Brian wasn’t sure at first if that was good or bad.  

“He’s awake.  He squeezed my hand and tried to smile,” she said with tears streaming down her face.

“I am so glad.  I am sure Justin will be up here soon.  He is feeding Brinn right now.”

“I hope that is a good sign?”

“Oh, yes, that is a very good sign.  If everything keeps improving she will be released tomorrow.”

“That is wonderful.  Jarod will be so happy.”

“I was thinking last night.  Do you mind if Justin comes up and sees Jarod?  I mean I would understand if you didn’t want him to.”

“Jarod will want to see him.  He will want to see for himself Justin is alright.”

Brian hugged her.  “You are a special lady, Shay.  I hope he treats you right.”

“He does.  His only weakness is your husband so as long as they live far enough a part, that isn’t a problem although I have to admit I may have a little weakness for him myself. You two are a striking couple. How do you feel about having Justin visit him?”

“So far Jarod had been unconscious.  Jarod is probably the only man I don’t trust Justin with often.”

“And yet you hired him to be alone with him.”

“I know.  That was the hardest thing I have ever done but I knew he would do just what he did.  He almost gave his own life for my family. I almost feel like I risked his life for theirs.”

“That is what he does no matter who he is with. Justin is just a different case. He seems to have a power over everyone he meets. How do you deal with what happened?”

“We will deal with it later. Now is not the time. Justin is very special.  I would not have done nearly as well for myself and I am fairly sure I wouldn’t be alive anymore.  He loved me through my cancer twice. He never gives up.”

“Why don’t you go back to your family.  I will be fine and I actually have my sister flying in today.  I won’t be alone.”

“I am glad to hear that.  I am not sure Justin would leave if you were alone and the best thing for Brinn to be back with her family.”

“Don’t worry about us.  Jarod is going to be fine.  Take care of the little girl.  She is so precious.”

Brian kissed her and went to join Justin.  He made a detour to the main floor and bought a stuffed animal and a bouquet of flowers.  He entered Brinn’s room and his heart melted. Brinn had dozed off as Justin sang:

♫“I've got so much honey the bees envy me

I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees

Well I guess you'd say

What can make me feel this way?

My girl (my girl, my girl)

Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl ooh)”♫ (By:William Smokey Robinson / Ronald White)

Justin glanced up and saw Brian in the door.  He smiled up at him and Brian’s heart skipped a beat.  God, he loved that man.

Justin stood and laid Brinn in her bed.  Brian laid the stuffed dog in the bed next to Brinn and took Justin in his arms. He just wanted to make love with him again and again and again.  He had come so close to loosing them both. He kissed him sweetly lingering as long as he could. They were both flushed when they pulled away. Brian now handed him the flowers.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Justin said with a sexy smile.

“If you aren’t careful I am going to have you right here”  Brian stated.

Justin’s hand drifted to Brian’s crotch and could tell he wasn’t joking.  .Brian took a sharp breath in. Justin backed him up until he dropped in the rocker. Grabbing a nearby blanket he dropped to his knees pulling the blanket over him and across Brian’s lap.  Brian felt his zipper being lowered. Brian air supplied seemed to be cut off for a second as he couldn’t take a breath in. The pure pleasure of the feel of Justin’s mouth made his head swim.  Justin’s tongue and hands were very busy and soon Brian’s pelvis was arching to meet Justin’s mouth.. He did his best to stay quiet but found it difficult. He moaned loudly. He finally reached under the blanket and held Justin’s head still as he emptied himself into Justin’s mouth.   He felt Justin zip up his pants and then Brian pulled Justin into his lap and kissed him again with so much tenderness. He loved him so much and yet still hurt so badly by the betrayal even though he understood the circumstances. Sometimes when he closed his eyes he pictured them, together.. He knew his husband was young and hot.  Justin didn’t need him for anything. He could take care of himself. That is what worried him the most. He just hoped he continued to want him in his life.

“Sweetheart, Brian, how was Jarod?””

“Oh, sorry, guess we got carried away.  He is awake.and I am sure he would love to see you.”

Brian prayed he would say later but he  looked and Brinn and said, “I’ll check on him now since Brinn is sleeping and you are here for her. Justin gave Brian a quick kiss and was out the door.

Brian’s head dropped in his hands.  

“Brian?” Dr. Glin stood in front of him.  

“Oh, sorry.  Guess I was deep in thought.”

“Your daughter is really doing amazingly well.  She is obviously loved and loves you and your husband dearly.  I just wanted to make sure you were aware of some things you may see in her for the next couple months.  She is going to be more clingy and possibly fussy. She may have some withdrawal type symptoms just because she was on it for so long.  And…..the two of you may need to talk to someone too. I saw on the paperwork that you recently had a health scare. Your family has been through a lot in the last year. It wouldn’t hurt for both of you to talk to someone if you don’t already have a counselor.”

“Thanks, Dr. Glin.  We have a close friend in that business and we will have him suggest someone if we think we need it.  We will be flying back to Pittsburgh tomorrow if you give us the approval. We will check in with our doctor in a couple days.  You have all her information to send records.”

“May I say one other thing that I probably don’t have a right to?” Brian nodded.  “Whatever barrier there is between your husband and you, work it out soon, before it festers too long.” Brian nodded.

“It is that obvious?”  

“No just the opposite.  You work very hard to hide it. I just saw a couple things.  You two are so intune to each other that the minor things stuck out to me.”

“In a couple weeks we are going to our villa on Ibiza. We will work it out. Trust me it is a problem but we have seen worse.”

The doctor smiled and walked out.

Justin arrived on the 6th floor just as Shay walked off the ICU. Shay was looking at  her phone and Justin reached out to get her attention. “Oh, Justin, I’m sorry. I have great news.  Jarod is going to his own room!”

Justin grabbed her and gave her a big kiss.  “That is such good news. Is he there already or is he still in there?” He pointed toward the unit she was leaving.  

“Give them five minutes.  Justin, since you are here…..will you stay with him while I wait for my sister downstairs?  She is supposed to be here any minute and I haven’t had any fresh air in…”

“Go, I will stay with him until you get back.  Brian is with Brinn and she was sleeping when I left.

Shay had barely left when Jarod came out.  He didn’t see Justin but Justin followed him down to the 4th floor.  He stayed outside the room until he was sure all medical personnel had left.  He walked in quietly.

“Hello Jarod.”

“Justin,” He said with emotion dripping from his voice. “I am so glad you are alright.”

“I’m the one who should say that.” Justin reached out and took Jarod’s hand.  Without thinking he brought it to his lips and kissed it. “I am so sorry! I am sorry that crazy woman hurt you.  I am sorry I hurt you. You are the last person I would want to hurt. I was cruel to you.”

“Justin, we talked about this earlier.  I understand why. Your daughter had been ripped from you.”

“Yes, but Jarod I love you.  I shouldn’t….”

“Please, don’t say that. You may love me but you will never be in love with me.  I think it is best if we don’t see each other again, Justin. It is too painful.”

“But Jarod…..”

“I just can’t do it.  I love Shay but a part of me loves you and I just can’t do it to her.”  He pulled Justin down to him. Justin complied. The men kissed barely brushing lips but then it changed to a long, tender kiss, it was a kiss that said goodbye.

“I promised Shay I would stay with you….”

“I’ll tell her you just left.  Please, Justin, lose my number.”  With that Justin walked out. He went back up to the 5th floor but went to an out of the way waiting room to process what just happened.  He felt like he had just lost something special to him and maybe that was the point. They meant too much to each other to just be friends but neither of them was available for more than that. Justin wiped his eyes realizing some small part of him has been holding on to a small part of him.  Did he want Jarod at the loss of Brian. There was no doubt he belonged with Brian and Brinn and Gus and their whole mixed up, wonderful extended family. He wanted to spend every night in bed, making love with Brian, no one else.

Justin went back to Brinn’s room and took a deep breath as he pushed the door open.  Justin’s face spoke volumes to Brian. He didn’t know what happened but he could feel something had changed. “Brian?”

“Justin, now isn’t the time. We can talk about it tonight at the hotel or it can wait until we are home.  Hell, it can wait until we are in Ibiza. I hope you don’t mind I set it for the day after Brinn’s birthday.  That is only two weeks away. Alice and the three of us are leaving the next day. Tony and John are going to Milan for Christmas and coming to the villa on the 26th through New Year’s Day.  Tiffany and Peter will come in on the 26th also so with Gus.”

“How did you get all this planned?”  Justin walked up to him. “It sounds amazing.”

“It is mostly Alice.  I asked her to figure it out and of course she did.”

“Why is Alice coming right away?  She could come with Gus and the other two.  She won’t have much to do until the rest get there.”

“She will have Brinn to watch.  That is one of the main things we hired her for.”

“I was thinking that we really don’t need….”

“Justin, we need Alice as much as we always did. Another thing we can talk about at home.”

Justin got the feeling the first couple of days home many things were going to be talked about. He needed Brian right now.  He wasn’t going to push anything but the fact he loved him more than life itself. He really couldn’t do life without him.

“Brian, can you just hold me.  I just need you to hold me.” Brian opened his arms and Justin walked in, resting his head on Brian’s chest.

“Justin, no matter what has occurred or what is still unsaid between us.  It doesn’t change our love for each other, does it?”

Justin looked into Brian’s face and though he couldn’t say a thing, he reached up and brought Brian’s lips to him.  “I love you, baby, forever.” Their lips just grazed each other sending chills through each other.

“Dadadadada”  Brian and Justin smiled at each other and turned to their daughter.

Justin swept Brinn up in his arms.  “Hello, Baby Girl.” Brian and Justin played with Brinn and fed her dinner.  About 8:00 p.m. Justin fed Brinn her bedtime bottle. Brian stepped out of the room for a few minutes.  He returned and lifted a sleeping Brinn out of Justin’s arms. He kissed her and laid her in the hospital bed.

Brian offered his hand to Justin.  “Let’s go get something to eat and get a good night sleep. Tomorrow we can take our girl home.”

Brian reached over and reached for Justin’s hand.  He felt resistance as he touched Justin’s hand so he dropped it.  Justin stopped and looked at him. He glanced at Brinn sound asleep in the crib.  “I’m sorry, Brian. I’m not sure where my head is at.” He put his arms around Brian’s neck.  “I…..please, never doubt how much I love you.” He kissed him with so much emotion Brian wasn't sure what to think.  What had happened with Jarod? He wrapped his arm around Brian’s waist.

Brian glanced at that beautiful face and saw so many things.  He kissed those perfect lips and pulled him close so they were hip to hip.  They walked to the elevator and then they crossed the street. Justin dropped his head on Brian’s shoulder as they walked.  When they arrived at their room a server stood there by a food cart. Brian opened the door and the cart was rolled in. Brian signed the bill and tipped the server.  Justin’s arms circled Brian’s waist and he again laid his head on Brian. Brian pulled him close. “What is it, Sunshine? What happened with Jarod?”

Justin just clung to him.  “I’m sorry. I really don’t know why I am feeling this way.  Brian, I won’t be talking to Jarod again. I have realized we may have to see each other if there is a court case but we have decided it is best if we just don’t interact again. We both are in love with other people but have this odd draw to each other. I will miss him.  He was my best friend other than you. But……”

Brian held him close.  He kissed his forehead, his cheek, his chin, and then he landed on his mouth. He could feel the anguish Justin was feeling.  He wished to could tell him it was alright. He didn’t have to give up his friendship but he couldn’t do that. There would always be some kind of barrier between them if he didn’t know Jarod was out of his life.  He had to be gone, not just for Justin but for Shay and himself. His mouth went hard and bruising. He needed to claim his husband but he also hoped his possession would remind him why he belonged with Brian. Brian sat and took him in his lap he cradled him.  He felt a wall between them yet. They needed to confront it head on and they would but right now, Justin just needed him. He had a hard time understanding those kind of feelings. He never let feelings surface until Justin came into his life and then it still took him years to admit it.  Now his family meant the world and every year those feelings seemed to spread a little further. People just didn’t mess with his family. But by his invitation Jarod infiltrated the most sacred part of his family, the love with Justin. Justin had to realize that but not now.

“Sunshine, let’s eat some dinner.  It’s here and we both need something.  You need to start eating again. You are far too skinny. It isn’t healthy. Brinn needs you strong.  I need you strong. I need you.” His lips caressed Justin’s. “We need you, baby.”

They both stood and walked to the table.  It was a quiet meal but they were both present.  They both seemed to feel the other’s thoughts. When they had eaten their fill they packed up the cart and moved it into the hall.  Justin qued some music up on his phone and stretched a hand out to Brian. Brian pulled him into his arms and they danced. They moved together in each other’s arms and although the strained against each other physically, mentally there was still a veil separating them. As Justin sang along with the words, any space between them was evaporated. Their hands roamed as did their lips.  Justin slipped Brian’s shirt off his shoulders and Justin’s hands found more area, more skin, more nerve endings to touch.

Justin was nearly frantic to get into Brian’s pants when Brian tore Justin’s shirt from his body. Their base instincts took over.  Brian’s hands were rough and probing while Justin’s were feather light. Brian slapped Justin’s ass a couple times while Justin latched on to one of Brian’s nipples.  Running his tongue around and around. Justin bit down just as Brian pressed his naked groin against Justin’s. As their erect dicks danced together, they both began to glisten.  Brian grabbed some lube and used it liberally. He wrapped an arm around Justin’s waist and as he grabbed Justin’s cock and drove into him, firmly and completely. Justin cried out. “Hurt me.  I deserve to be hurt!” When those words came out, Brian relaxed his grip.

“You don’t deserve anything but to be loved.  Brian slowed his pace and over and over he slid in deeper and deeper. He slid his hands over Justin’s cock, stoking and gliding over every inch. “Hold on.  Hold on as long as you can.” Brian tightened his grip on the straining cock as he drove in over and over, holding himself for release. He slowly began to rub Justin’s cock stroke for stroke as he entered in and out. “Now, Sunshine, NOW.”  Brian held on to Justin tightly as they both were rocked. Wave after wave they were both emptied and yet filled with more love than ever could be spoken. After a moment, Brian wrapped his arm around Justin’s chest and pulled him close.

“Let’s go to bed.  We get to take our baby home tomorrow just in time for her birthday!” They laid next to each other just entwining their fingers.

“Brian?”

“Yes, Sunshine.”

“Are we ok?”

“We’re ok.” Brian said  and was sure they would be, with Jarod out of their lives.

Brian laid awake for a couple hours.  He eventually got up, quietly dressed, and wrote a note telling Justin he was with Brinn.  As he arrived at the hospital he first went to Jarod’s floor. He snuck past the nurses’ desk and went into Jarod’s room.  He wasn’t sure why he was there. He figured he’e be sleeping. He was just opening the door to go back in the hall when he heard, “Brian?”

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be awake.”

“Then why did you stop?” Jarod questioned.

“I’m not sure.  I couldn’t sleep because I am wondering if my marriage will survive.

“I told him I wasn’t going to be talking to him anymore. What else do you want me to do?”

“I want to know WHY he is having such a difficult time doing that. What do you give him that I can’t?”

“Brian, you aren’t me.  You can’t be me but you have him, I don’t! And that’s not just because I told him to lose my number.  You have something with him no one else. If you did something stupid enough to lose him, he would never be able to give himself to someone else.  You own him. And I think if you think about it, he owns you. Even if you stepped away from him, you would never be you without him.”

“You don’t think I know that?  Just thinking about being without him….”

“Brian, if you have a point can you make it so I can go back to sleep.  My wife comes early to see me. She loves me and I am going to do my best to let her know that the rest of our lives. I will not see Justin again.  She knows I may have a man again but she knows they mean nothing. She may even join us. But no man will ever take me again. Justin is the only man that has ever had me that way and he’s the only one who will.”

“Is that your way of trying to make me feel better?  Letting me know how special he is to you?”

“I’m not trying to tell you anything except to let you know how special he is and how easy it would be for him to find someone else who would love him.  And maybe someday the hold you have on him will be broken. But it won’t be my fault. Please leave now or I will call the nurse.”

Brian held his urge to lash back at him but that wouldn’t help anyone.  He walked out and found himself going to Brinn’s room. He could hear her from down the hall. A nurse was in there with her, trying to quiet her.  She had picked her up and was holding her close as she swayed back and forth. She looked up and when she saw him a note of fear and protectiveness crossed her face.  

Brian held up his arm showing her the wristband showing he was Brinn’s father. “I couldn’t sleep and just ended up here.”

Brinn immediately reached for him.  Through sniffles she said, “Dada.”

“Come here, sweetheart.”  He took her out of the nurse’s arms.  “Thanks for taking such good care of my daughter.  I’ll stay with her.”

“Thanks, Mr. Kinney.” She had seen his name on the bracelet.  The buzz among the nurses was not wrong. This man was beyond gorgeous and the moment he held his daughter she started quieting down.  He was murmuring to her as he sat in the rocker with her. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

Brian smiled in acknowledgement and nodded his head never stopping his soft words to Brinn. Brian needed Brinn as badly as she needed him. Within minutes the little girl was sleeping soundly on Brian’s chest. Drawing comfort from her, a few minutes later he had joined her in dreamland.

Justin woke at 6:00 and found Brian missing.  He hated the feeling he had. It felt like there was a growing chasm between them.  He knew he was to blame but he really didn’t know what to do about it and he just didn’t have any extra emotion energy left to deal with it right now.  After dressing he started heading over to the hospital. He got on the elevator and didn’t realize until it stopped he had pushed number four rather than number five for Brinn’s floor.  He walked to Jarod’s room and opened the door. Jarod lay in bed. His color had returned and if he wasn’t in the hospital it would be hard to think of him as injured. Something stirred in him.  What made him different? He had been with hundreds of men, many of them very good looking but no one but Brian had affected him the way Jarod did. Was it because Brian and him were in a different  place in their lives when they met? Their relationship was still a bit more relaxed at that time. Brian had actually encouraged Justin to be with Jarod. He knew it was a bad idea at the time but hindsight is 20/20. Both Brian and Justin had been regretting that night for six years but nothing could be changed now. They just needed to come up with a solution to get past it.

“Justin, what are you doing here? I thought we decided this wasn’t going to happen anymore.  You are just making it harder on both of us, on all of us.”

“Why are you different?  Why can’t I shake you?”

“Because you love me. We were friends before we were lovers.  We have a bond. We can’t change that. You helped me through very tumultuous time in my life. I will always love you for that but you have something much deeper with Brian, you have a family.  You belong with them. Shay makes me happy. She is my family now. Please, Justin, don’t come back. Take your daughter home and forget about me.”

Justin leaned over Jarod’s bed and one last time their lips met. It spoke volumes as they said nothing.  One last time their tongues danced. They tasted the sweetness of each other. As they separated Justin started opening his mouth.  Jarod touched his lips with his finger to silence him. “Goodbye, Justin.” With that Jarod turned his back to Justin and Justin walked out.

Finding a balcony, Justin went out and sat. He needed Brian. He wanted to run into Brian’s arms and tell him how hurt he was.  He wanted to lose himself in the physical to forget the mental anguish he felt at this moment. Why was he feeling like this? He really didn’t understand a lot of it.  He hated to admit he wasn’t sure how he would get past this. He probably really did need to talk to Blake about all this. He didn’t know if Blake was working or not. They had gotten their son about two weeks ago. Blake probably wasn’t the best choice but he would call him soon. He took a deep breath and went to find his family.  

Brian was surprised Justin hadn’t gotten there, yet. Brinn had just dozed in the crib after playing for a while.   When he walked through the door, Brian knew. He knew Justin had gone to see Jarod. The guilt was written on his face. So was the pain.  “Come here,” he opened his arms and Justin walked into them. “I don’t want to hear about it,” he said softly, “but I love you and I am here for you.” Justin tried so hard but soon was sobbing and Brian held him close.  After letting him cry for a bit, Brian said, “Is there anything I can do?”

“No, I’m sorry.  I don’t know what has gotten into me.”

“Justin, please, don’t say anything.  You have gone through a lot. We have gone through a lot.  Let’s get our girl home and then, well, we will play it by ear. I am not ready to talk about anything.”

Now Justin saw Brian’s pain. Justin raised his mouth to Brian’s and Brian turned away.  

Dr. Glin  arrived as Brian crossed the room. He needed space between Justin and him right now.  “Gentlemen, I hope you are ready to take this beautiful young lady home because she is ready.” She looked from Brian to Justin and back again. “She is going to need both of you. Figure it out but don’t let her feel your tension.  She doesn’t need that right now. She needs two loving parents that work together. I promise she knows when you two are not working together. Work it out men. Now can I have one of you sign this paper so you can go?”

Brian put a smile on his face a picked up Brinn.  Let’s go home, Brinny, let’s go home.”

Justin walked over kissing Brinn on the cheek.  Brian reached down and put an arm around Justin. His lips brushed Justin’s and he smiled at him. Let’s take her home.”  He nearly crawled down Justin’s throat as he claimed his mouth, his tongue moving so quickly, so deeply, Justin’s heart skipped a beat.

Dr. Glin’s heart sped up just watching them.  “That is as good a start as any I have seen. Take good care of her and have her checked out by her doctor soon.

Justin and Brian walked out with Brinn in their arms. “Let’s go find Alice, sweetheart.  She wants to see you so badly.”

Brian had hired a car to take them to the private air strip.  They boarded the plane and Brinn was strapped into her car seat.  By the time they hit cruising altitude Brinn was sleeping.

Brian and Justin sat side by side.  Brian reached over and rested his hand on Justin’s inner thigh.  He slid it up and down between his knee and groin. Slowly his hand creeped farther up and rested on his crotch. As he tightened his grasp, “No matter what, I always NEED you.  He slipped an arm behind Justin and in one smooth move Justin was facing him on his lap. His hands slid down the back of Justin’s pants and pulled him tightly against his own crotch as his fingers probed down his crack and then with no warning Brian entered him as deeply as he could but then backed out so he could stroke his prostate over and over as Justin first climbed higher and higher and then as he came over and over.  Brian gave him no break just continued stroking as Justin eventually passed out from pure pleasure and emotion.

When Justin returned to his senses Brian had him leaning against his chest and immediately claimed his mouth with more emotion than Justin knew was possible. Brian didn’t know what came over him but he knew whatever it took Justin needed to stay with him.  It was true. He couldn’t, no, wouldn’t live without him. He would rather die than think about it. Brian set Justin down in the seat across from him and dropped to his knees and as he drained still more from Justin. Justin shouted, “I love you, Brian. I do! Don’t doubt that! I love you.”

Brian laid his head in Justin’s lap and stayed that way until the captain told them to take their seats and buckle their seatbelts. They again sat side by side fingers interlocked.  Justin’s head laid on Brian’s shoulder until they were given the all clear. When they looked out the window they could see their welcoming party. “Smile, Sunshine! We have our daughter home and our family is waiting. They kissed and unbuckled their seatbelts. Brian unbuckled Brinn and lifted her out.  He laid the sleeping baby on his shoulder as he put his other arm around Justin. The door was opened and the steps were swarmed by the six other members of the family.

Gus flung himself at Justin who swept him up in his arms. Although he was too long to hold for long he brought him up to kiss his dad and little sister.  “How are you, Gussy?” Gus wrapped his arms around Justin and cried. It’s alright, Gus. Brinn is going to be fine.”

By now they had reached the bottom of the steps and as Justin kept a hold on Gus’ hand the rest of the family was hugging them.  As Alice reached to take Brinn from Brian, Justin snatched her from Brian and held her closely to his chest. Brian gave Alice a hand signal to stop.  Alice nodded. Brian had told her Justin was having a difficult time and he could understand why. Now the healing could begin with Justin and continue for Brinn.

Back at the house they had a simple family day.  The air had cooled greatly in the months Justin and Brinn had been gone.  They spent the day in the kitchen. Justin relaxed a bit now that they were home.  Everyone took turns sitting on the rug playing with Brinn. As long as she was in his line of vision Justin felt comfortable. He sat on the sectional and soaked in the warmth of the fire.  

Brian stood by the the kitchen counter watching all the activities. He didn’t notice John walk up beside him.  He put an arm around his uncle’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, Uncle Brian? You look a million miles away, or at least in Toronto.”

Brian slipped an arm around John. “It has been a rough couple months for all of us.  How is school going?”

“You’re deflecting, Brian. Did something happen?”

“Details aren’t important.  Justin and I just have to work a few things out.  We will be fine. Right now, Brinn comes first. We will work it  out once Brinn is better and Justin calms down a bit.”

“You know, I am not a kid anymore.  If you need to talk or whatever, I’m here at least for a couple more weeks.  You know Tony and I are leaving shortly after the Princess’s birthday. Tony is very excited about seeing his family.  So am I. They are great.”

“Are you and Tony doing OK?”

“We are good.  I still love him and he loves me.  I think we will make a life together, at least I hope so.”

Brian watched Alice pick up Brinn and watched Justin’s reaction as Alice brought Brinn into the kitchen area and started getting her a bottle. Peter and Tiffany helped get the food on the table for an early dinner.  Brinn was already dozing in Alice’s arms. She passed the sleeping baby to John who snuggled her. Gus had left with his mom’s, having missed school for the day had homework to complete. Justin was on his way to intercept Brnn but instead Brian did the intercepting.  “Justin,” Brian turned him and took him to the now deserted fireplace.Taking Justin in his arms he said, “Our family needs to know she is Ok, too. You know all of these people love her and only do what’s best for her.

“But, Brian….”

“We can stand right here and watch them love on her.” He pulled Justin’s back against his chest and kissed his neck.  Softly he said, “Sunshine, I need you.” He continued to kiss his neck or nibble his ear but Justin was withdrawn. As long as Brinn was with someone else Justin  couldn’t relax. “Let’s go eat dinner and then we can take our princess up to bed. And you and I can go to bed in the next room where we belong.”

As Brinn got tired she only wanted her daddies and the family understood.  Justin had barely eaten but insisted on taking her up to bed. After they heard the  nursery room door shut, everyone’s eyes went to Brian. “He will be fine, everyone. We both have a few things to work through but we will be fine.  Brinn is doing well but, of course, she needs to adjust and still has some side effects from being drugged.”

The four young people offered support.  Alice looked at Brian. “Can I talk to you in the office, maybe?”  Tony and John started clearing the table while Tiffany, and Peter started cleaning in the kitchen. Brian closed the office door behind Alice.  “So, what’s really going on?” Alice asked straight forward. “Don’t lie to me Brian. You know it would never work.” Brian’s normally unflappable demeanor showed some cracking.  He turned his back to Alice. “Obviously, Brinn will have some side effects but that doesn’t explain the tension between the two of you. Brian, you need to talk about whatever it is. Am I right in thinking it has to do with Jarod? I felt the tension before they left on the tour.”

“Not much to say.  Jarod loves Justin and on some level Justin loves Jarod.  They have a history and now they have a new chapter to that story.  I mean, Jarod saved his life. You don’t just get over something like that overnight.  They have decided not to stay in touch but it is killing Justin. I can’t seem to break through that wall.”

Alice put a hand on Brian’s shoulder.  “Maybe this is something you can’t deal with alone.”

“Justin needs to work out some things.  We’ll deal with it. If he needs to see someone we will find someone.  I will be here when he gets over it.”

“So, how are you going to get over it?”

“I need to go check on my family. Alice, butt out.” Brian walked past and up the stairs to the nursery.

Brinn was sound asleep in her crib.  Justin was just watching her sleep. Brian put his hands on Justin’s shoulders and watched with him for a while. Slowly his large, gentle hands slid down Justin’s arms and around his waist, pulling Justin back against him. “We are home and safe, Sunshine. We have our family back together.”  

Justin turned to face him and nearly attacked Brian.  His hands were stuck down Brian’s pants. “I want to taste you and then I want you in me so far……” Brian picked Justin off the ground and walked with him into their room. Brian set him down and shut the door and made sure the monitor was on. Justin yanked Brian’s pants down and dropped to his knees. He took Brian’s cock in his mouth like Brinn took a bottle. He nursed on it until Brian couldn’t stand anymore.  He stood slowly leaving a trail of kisses and nips up Brian’s body. Brian stripped Justin in record time.

“I want to take you like I did the first time. Lay on your stomach first.” Brian began to drag his tongue down Justin’s spine.  He moved so slowly Justin arched his back and when Brian found his destination Justin cried out.

“Brian, please, take me, I know what I want now.  It isn’t my first time.”

Brian turned Justin over and leaned over him, kissing him.  “It is always like the first time. You haven’t forgotten it have you.” Brian said as he looked deeply into Justin’s eyes. He shook his head.

“I will never forget.”Justin said as Brian slid his head in and then stopped for Justin to adjust. Brian began to move and with each thrust he kissed Justin and the deeper the thrust the longer, deeper the kiss.  When he slid in one last time their lips crushed each other as they both let go. Unlike the first night they got up and checked on their daughter and then lay in each others arms until they fell asleep.

Brian woke up at 6:00 and Justin was no longer in bed.  He got up and walked to the nursery. Justin, wearing his robe,  was changing Brinn and talking to her. “Brinny, Grandma is coming to visit today.  She has missed you so much.”

Brian strode in the room totally naked.  “Hello, Beautiful!” He kissed Brinn’s nose.  He turned to Justin, “Good morning, gorgeous!” He started to slip his arm into the robe but Justin sidestepped and picked  Brinn up.

“Let’s go find some breakfast, Brinny.”

“Justin?” Brian called. Much louder, “Justin!”  Brian caught up to him in the hall outside their bedroom door. “What’s wrong? I thought last night…..”

“You would, Brian. You kept bringing up our first time.  You couldn’t leave it alone could you. I told you Jarod won’t  be in contact but you had to keep talking about it.”

“Justin, I didn’t think…”

“Of course you didn’t, Brian.  Why would you ‘think’.”

“Just run, Justin.  Don’t you always!” Brian slammed the door.  What just happened? He thought about the beautiful night before. Well, if Justin needs to overthink a special night, let him. Brian was fuming as he showered.  Damn it, Justin, I wanted a special night. He finished the shower and dressed. He had to go into work. He hated to not see Brinn for a couple days but maybe he would just stay at the loft.

Brian grabbed a bag and threw in a few pieces of clothes.  He grabbed a travel mug and filled it with coffee. Justin sat at the table with Brinn. Brian walked over to Brinn’s high chair and squatted down next to her.  “Hey, sweetheart, I have to go to work. Tell your daddy I love him. I will talk to him later.” He stood and without warning turned and kissed Justin. “I love you, Sunshine. I’ll stay at the loft until you can figure something out. I’ll call you tonight.”

When Jennifer arrived she knew right away something was wrong.  Justin hugged her a second too long. She would talk to him later but right now she needed to get reacquainted with her granddaughter.  Jennifer knew the trauma this little one went through so was very patient waiting for Brinn to accept her grandma’s love again. “She has grown so much, Justin.  And she is more beautiful than ever.”

“I think she will be walking any day.”  He pointed as she held onto the couch and used it for balance as she walked from her daddy to her grandma.  

Jennifer pulled her in for a hug now. “So glad to have you back, Sweety. Your grandma missed you so much!”  As she focused on Brinn she spoke to Justin, “What’s wrong, Justin? And don’t say nothing. It has to be something with Brian or you wouldn’t be acting like this.”

“We just have some things to work out and we will but this morning he decided I needed space so he moved to the loft until the party.”

“Do you need space? You are leaving something out.  What did he do?”

“Mom, he didn’t do anything.I messed up and words have been said by both of us that just need time before a conversation.  Brinn is most important.”

“Yes, she is, but remember what’s most important to her is having her two loving dads, together.”

“I know!”  he shouted.

Brinn whimpered and he immediately took her and cuddled her.  “I’m sorry, sweetheart, Daddy’s sorry. I won’t yell again.” He rocked her in his arms until he was sure she was calm and then handed her back to his mom.  “Mom, I need to go make a call. Would you mind watching Brinn. Alice is out right now.”

Reaching up, Jennifer touched her son’s cheek.  “Take all the time you need, Justin. I will stay as long as you need me to.”

Justin kissed his mom and his daughter and walked to the office.  He picked up the phone and called Blake and Ted’s house. “Hey, Blake, sorry I haven’t called quicker.  Congratulations, Daddy. How is it going?’

“He is so perfect and we are so in love with him already.  He is pretty small so we have decided to have a party after the first of the year to introduce him to all our friends.”

“I totally understand.  It doesn’t help when Brian has been gone so much and is leaving again for a month.  Is Ted ever home?”

“Actually he has been.  They have hired some excellent executives lately so Cynthia has lots of help and now Brian is back for a bit anyway. Justin, is something wrong?”

“Do you have a couple minutes?”

“Sure, Ted is on baby duty.  I am sure the stress you have been under has been crazy.”

“I slept with someone else!” Justin blurted out.  “Well, there was no sleeping. I screwed someone! I fucked up my life and Brian’s and more importantly Brinn’s.”

“Justin, did Brian leave?”

“No, well yes, I don’t know!  He found out right away but finding Brinn was all we were focused on and then getting her better.  Now we don’t know what to do. I kind of lost it and then he did. I feel so guilty.”

“Does this guy mean something to you?”

“Yes.  We have a past that Brian was fully aware of when he hired him as our protection.  Nothing happened until after Brinn was taken and Brian wasn’t there. He was coming home from Asia and I needed something. Jarod was there.  I was his first many years ago and we have always stayed friends.He almost died protecting Brinn and me.”

“Justin, I can’t see Brian holding that one act against you under the circumstances. You are leaving something out.”

“He loves me…”

“And?”  Blake was going to make Justin say it.

“Some part of me loves him, too, and I don’t know why!  I mean I should love him like a friend like I do you and Ted.  Why is he different? Why can’t I sort this out? Brian is the only person I want to be with the rest of my life but….”

“If Brian wasn’t in the picture you would be with Jarod?”

“Yes, well, I don’t know.  He is now married to a beautiful woman who understands he will be with a man from time to time and she is fine with that.  We will never see each other again and at this point don’t have any plans in talking again. In fact, I am sure he has changed his phone number.”

“You know this because you tried to call him?”

“Yes!, Blake what is wrong with me?” By now Justin was crying.  “I don’t want to lose Brian I love him but I can’t seem to stop thinking about Jarod.”

“Justin, you are special to Jarod because you are his first and obviously you had a loving relationship on a friend level anyway. And, you said it yourself, he saved your life.  Without him there you may not be here with Brian. It is understandable that you are grateful to him.. It really isn’t unusual for someone to fall for their hero. In your case your hero happens to be someone you have history with.  I think you are confusing your past history with hero worship. Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk this long.”

“I asked. I just don’t know if it is too late.”

“It will never be too late with you and Brian.  Just make sure you talk it out and not just love it out.  Physical love may smooth the edges but it is never going to get to the core of the issue. Justin, think about what I said.  See if it fits your situation. Brian is your protector, only in the best ways, just like you are his savior. Sorry, you don’t need the Psychology lesson.  Brian is scared to death he is going to lose you, I am sure. You two are closer than any two people I have ever seen. You are the perfect example of two becoming one.”

“Thanks, Blake.  I didn’t mean to take so much of your time.”

“Justin, I always have time for friends.  Take care of yourself and we will see you after the holidays. Family time will be great for all of you.  One last thing, remember just being physically close isn’t going to help even if it smooths the edge off.”

“I hear what you are saying. Go spend time with your husband and son.  Thanks again.” Justin hung up. He took a deep breath and thought about what Blake had said.  It made some sense. He would think it through later. He needed to see Brinn.

Justin found Alice and Jennifer with their heads together.   Brinn was asleep on Jennifer’s shoulder. “Justin, would you mind bringing her up to her bed?”

“Sure.”  Justin lifted the sleeping child off her shoulder and carried her upstairs.

“So, Alice, I need to find a place those two have to talk without connecting physically.”

“Jenn, I know he is your son but he is a man who can barely function without making love multiple times a day.  Sorry, but it is true and nothing new to you. If they are together they end up in bed. They need to talk, really talk.”

“I will make some calls.  This isn’t what I am normally looking for when I make a contact with another realtor but I understand exactly what you are saying.”

Justin came around the corner with the monitor hooked on his pocket.  Jenn left shortly, promising she would be back for the party in a few days. Justin saw a look between Alice and Jennifer that he hoped had to do with the party and not his life.  Alice started asking questions about the party and needed answers on a few final decisions.

“Will Brian be home on time for dinner?” Alice asked.

“I don’t think he will be home at all.”  Justin walked away before she could ask any questions.

Around 6:00 p.m. Brian called Justin. He was with Brinn so picked her up and carried her to another room, away from the other family members. “Hi, Brian.”

“Is everything good at the house?”

“Ya, Mom spent part of the day here.  She and Tuck will be back for the party.”

“How are you, Sunshine?”

“Confused.”

"I didn’t mean to do anything hurtful last night.  I was just…”

“Reminding me how special a first time could be."

“Dada.”

“Yes, Brinn, this is your dad. Here’s Brinn.”

He held the phone to Brinn’s ear.  “Hi, Sweetheart. Sorry I can’t tuck you in tonight.  I will see you soon. Love you, Honey.”

“Hi.”  Brinn said.  

“Oh, baby, you are learning so many new things. Bye bye.”

“Bye, bye.”  Brinn said.

Justin put the phone to his own ear again.  “Don’t stay gone too long, Brian. I don’t want you to miss her growing up now that she’s back.”

“Are you sure I’m the one you want there?” Brian asked and Justin hung up.

Brian called everyday to talk to Brinn and Justin.  Their conversations were polite and they discussed the upcoming  trip and party. By the fourth day both Brian and Justin ached to be together.  Brian called Thursday evening too late to talk to Brinn. Justin was in their empty room. “Hey,” he answered.

“Sunshine, may I come home tomorrow.  I need to spend the night with the family before the party and the trip.”

“ I never told you to leave.”

“I don’t want to argue with you, Justin.  I miss you so much. I need to spend the night in our bed with you.  Even if I can just hold you, I love you, Sunshine.”

“I know you do.  I love you, too. I talked to Blake the other day.”

“Did it help?”  

“It may have cleared some things up for me.Please come home, baby.”

“I will be home by 5:00 tomorrow.  Can you tell the rest of the family we need some alone time?  

“Love you, Brian.  I really do love you.”

“I love you, too, Justin.  See you tomorrow.”

By the time Brian arrived on Friday, the house was empty except for Brinn and Justin.  Brian walked in and saw his daughter in her high chair in the kitchen near Justin who was cooking. He walked over to her and kissed her soft, blond hair, so much like her father’s. “Hi,” she said with a tooth grin. She reached up for him.  

His heart melted and picked up his daughter, holding her close. “I missed you, little girl.”

“Dadada,”

Brian kissed her neck, making her giggle.

Justin came up next to them.  “May I get one of those?”

Brian buried his head into Justin’s neck, breathing in deep.  He then brought his lips down on Justin’s and with little coaxing slid his tongue deep into Justin’s mouth. He wrapped his free arm around Justin’s waist and pulled him near. He brought his mouth close to Justin’s ear.  “I have missed you so much. I love you, Sunshine.”

Justin put his arms around Brian’s neck.  “I love you, too. I am sorry I have been so difficult.”

“I hope dinner is almost done so…..” another kiss had them both breathless.

“Actually it will be a couple hours and Brinn is ready for a late afternoon nap.”

Brian hadn’t noticed Brinn had laid her head on his shoulder. “She missed you.”

“I missed her, too.”

“Give me five minutes to get this in the oven and then I will be upstairs.  Just lay her down. She should be out about an hour or so and I know we can find something to do while dinner cooks.

Brian laid Brinn down and walked into the bedroom.  He was almost nervous. He knew things weren’t good but the sex would be. That was always beyond amazing. Justin walked in and Brian claimed his mouth once again.  His hands slid under Brian’s shirt and up the flat plains of his back. Before either could think about it they were in bed lying naked after having sex.

Justin lay very quietly tucked under Brian’s arm. His free hand traced circles  on Brian’s chest and stomach. “I’ve missed you, missed this so much,” Justin said.  

As usual the sex had been amazing, especially after not being together all week but Justin was still withdrawn.  “Justin, we really need to talk about this. It isn’t going away on its own.”

“Brian, for one night can’t we just stop talking and enjoy ourselves.” They both heard Brinn in the next room.  

Brian got up. “I’ll get her.”  He slipped on his robe and walked into the nursery.

Damn it!  What did Brian need to hear to believe him?  What did he have to say to get the family back to normal?

They ate a quiet dinner.  Justin told Brian about the party tomorrow.  They were all going to be there at noon and the four of them would leave early the following morning for Ibiza.  Justin had started packing for all of them. They always left a supply of trunks and shorts there so what else did they really need? The three of them played on the rug until Brinn showed signs of being ready for bed again. Brian carried his princess upstairs and slipped on her pajamas. He gave her a bottle and then laid her in the crib.  Justin kissed her goodnight and they walked into their room.

Brian kissed Justin and started to walk toward the spare room.  “Brian, I thought you came home so we could be together.”

“I came home because I love you and wanted to be with my family.  I don’t know what it is but there is still something else in this room with us.”  He took Justin in his arms once more and kissed him. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He walked across the hall and closed the door.

Justin curled up on the empty bed that still smelled of their lovemaking and eventually gave into exhaustion.

When Justin woke up he heard Brian’s voice on the monitor.  He opened the nursery door to see Brian dancing with Brinn. “Dada.” Brinn’s cheerful voice called to Justin.

“Good morning, Sunshine. Would you like to say happy birthday to our beautiful one year old?”

Justin smiled at them. “Good morning, sweetheart!”  He kissed Brinn and then kissed Brian. “Good morning.  Did you sleep well?”

Brian gave Justin a much longer kiss.  “We will work this out, Sunshine. It just can’t be in bed or we will never get it fixed.”  He gave him one more smoldering kiss. “Damn, I want you.” His hand slid down the front of Justin and into his robe, finding his already erect penis.  He growled deep in his throat. He set Brinn down in her crib and dropped to his knees, pulling Justin in by the hips and taking all of him in his mouth.  He loved every part of this man but right now their souls just couldn’t connect so he just couldn’t spend the night with him but that didn’t mean they had to or could stay apart completely.  Soon Justin began thrusting and clinging to Brian’s head.”

To himself, Brian thought, Just let go, baby, just let go!  And with that Justin filled Bian’s mouth. Brinn stood in her bed, “bababa.”  

“I guess our life of sex where we want it is over.”  Brian stood up and snatched Brinn out of the crib again and slipped an arm around Justin.  Giving him a quick kiss he said, “I’ll get her breakfast. Why don’t you dress? We have a party in a couple hours. He lifted Brinn on his shoulders and headed down the steps.

Alice had made a beautiful birthday cake for the party.  She had made a separate one just for Brinn. Both were perfect for a little girl’s party.  

Tiffany was putting up decorations with Peter’s help.   Brian walked over and gave Tiffany a hug and patted Peter on the back.  Tiffany lifted Brinn out of Brian’s arms and walked over to get her some breakfast.  “So, are the two of you ready to take care of the place until you bring Gus over to Ibiza?”  

“I think we can manage. Uncle Brian, is everything between you and Justin…..”

“We will be fine.  We know we have some things to work out and will do that before you get over there with Gus. Where are John and Tony?”

“Mel called and said JR was not feeling well so they went to pick him up. They should be here in about 30 minutes.”  

“Well, if you have everything under control I think I will go up and shower. Justin should be done by now.”  Peter looked at him quizzically. Everyone in the house knew Brian and Justin usually showered together. “It will work out.”  He took the steps two at a time up to their room. Justin was just coming out of the room when Brian arrived. He froze in his tracks.  Justin looked stunning. Brian couldn’t resist. He put his hand behind Justin’s neck and brought him close. He brought his lips to Justin’s  and as their lips brushed Brian backed him against the door. He inhaled the scent of Justin and instantly was hard. “God, you are gorgeous! I want to rip your clothes off right now but I won’t.”  He kissed him once more. “I will be down in a bit. I am going to shower. I hope we can get a family picture of the four of us.”

When Brian got downstairs Justin was near Gus who was on the floor playing with Brinn.  Jenn was at the counter with Alice. Everyone else was scattered here and there talking. Justin glanced up and saw Brian. He wore a black button down that had been tailored to fit and had picked a tie that matched Justin’s shirt of a deep burgundy. Justin had a black tie and with Brinn’s white dress and Gus’ white shirt the family pictures would be great. Yes, Mel made them promise that Gus would change out of the shirt as soon as the pictures were done so the shirt wasn’t ruined at the party.

The four of them posed in front of the fireplace.  Tiffany took multiple pictures. She took some pictures of Gus and Brinn on the rug by the fireplace.  At one point she noticed Brian and Justin off to the side. She turned her attention to them without them noticing. Justin looked up into Brian’s eyes.  Tiff zoomed in on the men and could almost feel the tension between them. She knew something was going on between them since they got home and the fact that Brian spent the week in the city but the heat between them was always there. She took a couple more of all four of them and then Alice called everyone over for lunch.  Everything was spread out on the counter and people walked through, helping themselves.

Gus took Brian’s arm and pulled him out of the line and down toward the office.  “Dad, I need to talk to you.”

“What is it, Gus?” Brian asked after the door shut.

“What the hell is going on between you and Justin!”

Brian wanted to laugh at the fact his son swore at him but he looked far too serious.  “What do you mean, Gus?”

“Come on. I’m not blind.  You two are acting so weird it is like you both came from another planet. Now I lived in Canada.  It isn’t because you spent time there. What did you do to him?”

Brian had to smile. “Son, I am not going to tell you everything is perfect and I am  not going to tell you what the situation is because it is between me and your daddy but I promise we will have it worked out before you get to the holiday, ok?

“You better because I love both of you and I can’t choose between you.”

Brian took Gus in his arms.  “You will never have to choose between us.  We will both always love you. Now we better get to your sister’s party.”

Everyone enjoyed the meal and just having Brinn back.  Brian and Justin were on either side of Brinn when they set an individual cake in front of her.  She immediately reached into it with both hands. She put some in her mouth and then unexpectedly reached out and patted both Brian and Justin’s faces.  They looked at each other and started laughing. Brinn took that as a sign to do it again. This time she took big handfuls of frosting and cake and patted their faces again. Brian reached over and ran his finger across Justin’s cheek.  Looking him right in the eye he stuck the finger in his own mouth. He did it again and this time he put his finger in Justin’s mouth and Justin’s tongue wrapped around his finger. Justin reached over and did the same thing putting his finger in Brian’s mouth.  Brinn started clapping breaking the spell. Everyone started singing Happy Birthday and Alice brought over cake for everyone.

Brinn’s head began to wobble.  “Come here, Sweetheart, let’s clean you up and lay you down for a nap.”  Justin picked her up.

“I’ll help.”  Brian followed him out of the room.

“I am sure you will,” John said.

Justin and Brian brought her upstairs.  “She really needs a bath. She is so sticky.” Justin realized.  

Brian walked over and kissed Justin.  “Let’s take a shower. We are all pretty sticky.” Brian undid Justin’s fly and slid his hands around to the back taking his pants off. Justin stepped out of the pants and then Brian unbuttoned Brinn’s dress and pulled it off. Brian took Brinn as Justin stripped off his shirt and took off Brinn’s diaper.  Brian quickly shed his clothes and started the water. All three of them stood under the water. “May I hold her? I have missed her so much this week.” Justin kissed Brian as he handed her to him. Justin picked up the baby wash they kept for her and began washing her down with a washcloth. Justin’s hand began to slide off Brinn onto Brian’s chest and shoulders.  Justin circled behind them and slowly began on Brian’s shoulders. With his bare hands and a bar of soap he started at Brian’s shoulders and started moving down. When he reached Brian’s waist he pressed up against him and reached around him soaping his genitals with his fingers. Brian moaned. “God, Sunshine, this isn’t fair at all.” As he said that Justin ran his hand between Brian’s cheeks and slipped his finger in.”Oh, Sunshine. I can’t take that. Not with Brinn……”

“She is sound asleep.” Justin said as he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. Brian laid Brinn in the towel and Justin began to slowly dry her off.  Brian stepped out and started drying off Justin. Once Justin was dried he took Brinn to her room, slipped on a diaper, and laid her in the crib. When he walked back in the bedroom he was hoping to find Brian in bed but he was dressing.

“We better go see if your mom and Tuck are still here,” Brian pulled on a T shirt.  I will see you downstairs when you are dressed.” Justin stood in the middle of the room wondering what he had to do for Brian to forgive him.

When Justin arrived downstairs Brian was talking to Jenn and Alice.  It looked like they were scheming something. The four young people decided to bring Gus back and go to a movie.

“So Tuck,  what are they up to?”

“I am staying out of it.  I like you Justin and I don’t want that to change.”   

Justin, Brian, and Alice said goodbye to his Jennifer and Tuck.  It would be over a month before they would be back in the country.  Justin promised to send lots of pictures.

Brian and Justin worked together to finish backing for Brinn and for themselves.  Brinn spent a long while on the bed with her dads taking turns catching her before she fell off.  She started giggling as Brian laid down on the bed. Brinn crawling all over him. Justin dropped down joining them.  Brinn gave kisses and pats. Justin linked his fingers with Brian’s. Brian brought Justin’s hand to his mouth and kissed it.  “We better get a little dinner and get to bed early.”

“That sounds good to me,” Justin kissed Brian.  After they had a little dinner, Brinn went down for the night.

After they put her down Brian took Justin in his arms and kissed him.  “I’ll see you in the morning,” and he walked across the hall. “I love you.”

“Damn it!” Justin said as he shut the door behind him.