“Seeing Justin like this will be quite a shock, Mr. Kinney. Remember, at this stage he’s stable, but the next 24 hours are critical.” The doctor warned gently while they were standing at the door to the room. Brian just nodded his head.

“Please, call me Brian. I’m positive we’ll be seeing a lot of each other in the next few days. Weeks even.” Brian took a deep breath and braced himself.

Brian’s breath was stolen as he walked into the room to see Justin connected to so many wires. Frozen at the doorway, he had to take a minute to collect himself. He never realised that one single person, who was as small as Justin looked, could have that many wires attached to them. Brian’s eyes slowly followed the wires to the countless amount of machines surrounding Justin. So they were the source of the beeping that was infiltrating Brian’s mind. The incessant noise was the only thing keeping Brian in the here and now.

He noticed on one of the machines were a bunch of numbers: heart rate, blood pressure, O2 Levels, whatever the fuck that meant. He noted that his heart rate was steady and he sighed a little in relief. He took another deep breath in and took a step towards Justin. Brian noticed that the doctor was standing at the door behind him in silent support. He was thankful that the doctor was allowing him to take his time. To absorb everything in his own time. One step. Two steps. Three. And suddenly he was across the room standing next to the bed.

“Can I,” Brian paused and took another deep breath. He had to be strong. “Can I touch him?” Brian heard the hesitancy in his own voice and hated it. Brian was usually so confident, sometimes too much, but at the moment he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing. This was a dance he had never danced, and never wanted to dance again. He glanced at the doctor, silently hoping he wouldn’t say anything about it.

“Of course. It is better for the patient to be touched. We had to place him in a medically induced coma to alleviate the swelling of his brain. Until he wakes up, we can’t be sure about the damage done, if any, but it's safer for him to be in a coma at this point.” The doctor explained. “But there are studies that show that a patient can hear and feel everything while they’re in a coma. They just can’t respond. Feel free to touch him. Talk to him. Cry. Do whatever you feel. Just be careful of the wires, that’s all.”

Brian slowly nodded and reached for Justin’s hand. He noted that he was shaking, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He didn't want to. He didn’t care. He just needed to touch him. Feel that he was real. He hesitated, but only for a second. When Brian grabbed his hand he realised that it was warm. Not cold like he was expecting. He let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. It was more proof that things were going to be okay. They had to be.

Even though the machines all around him were telling him Justin was alive, he needed the physical reassurance. Justin’s hand being warm was just that. The reassurance he needed. Brian felt his shoulders sag in relief. Justin just looked like he was asleep.

“Hey Sunshine,” he whispered. Brian felt if he was too loud it may startle Justin, waking him up, and by the looks of him, he needed all the sleep he could get. It wasn’t until now that Brian noticed just how bad he actually looked. Brian started a mental inventory of everything.

His hair was gone. They obviously shaved it to get to the skull, which made sense. How else were they supposed to get to his skull? Brian moved his eyes across to the site of the surgery. There was a line, 8 inches long if Brian had to guess, that went from the front of his head to the back on the right side.

“Why the right side?” Brian asked the doctor, who was still standing in the doorway, giving him both time and space, but Brian didn’t look at him. He kept his eyes trained on Justin.  

“We had to operate on the opposite side of the injury due to not knowing the full extent of the damage done when he was hit,” the doctor explained. Brianjust nodded and continued his cataloging.

Justin's eyes were closed and he wished he could just see the bright blue eyes looking back at him, shining with love, even if it was for just a second. Surrounding his eyes, though, was all black. It looked as though he had just been punched in the eyes instead of hit in the head with a fucking baseball bat. He squeezed Justin’s hand again, still situated in his. Reassurance he was still real. His nose, which he often caught himself thinking was cute when it was scrunched up, was okay. His mouth was lacking his usual sunshine smile. His lips were a little less pink than usual but weren’t closed all the way due to a tube being stuck down his throat. Brian’s eyes followed the tube to a machine. Life support, he realised belatedly. His shoulders shook with silent sobs and Brian brought thehand that wasn’t holding Justin’s up to his face, wiping the tears that were steadily falling now away.  

Brian’s eyes went back to Justin, and he watched as Justin’s chest rose and fell slowly a few times. As though he was just asleep and this was all just a nightmare. If only it would be that easy. Brian wished it was just a nightmare that he could wake up from. But alas. This was real life. Everything else looked okay. Well, as okay under the circumstances.

One more deep breath. He could do this. He had to do this. Justin’s face in general was paler than normal, but he figured that wasn’t an issue. He took in all the machines surrounding him, the beeping -- which was an annoyance at first -- a comfort now. The beeping was what showed that Justin was alive. Was okay. Well, as okay as could be expected. Brian squeezed Justin’s hand again and took another deep breath. He slowly turned to the doctor, but refused to let go of Justin’s hand. The hand not holding Justin’s rose to his face again and he scrubbed it hard.

“What forms do you need signed? What needs to be done now?” Brian didn’t want to know, but at the same time he knew he needed to know. As much as he hated it, he needed to know what the next step was. What was expected. He braced himself for the long, torturous road ahead.

“Just the consent forms for more testing to be conducted on the mass that we found. MRI scans and CT scans. Hopefully, with them, we will get a clearer picture of what we’re dealing with and from there we can come up with the best plan of action. I have them here if you’re ready to sign them.” The doctor explained gently. Brian took yet another deep breath. He couldn’t break. Not yet. Not ever. He had to be strong. He had to get Justin through this.

Brian couldn’t believe it. Just a few short hours ago he was getting ready to surprise Justin at the prom. He was excited to see the sunshine smile that he knew was going to grace his young lover’s face when he saw him. He was apprehensive about what the gang was going to think. He was nervous about what Justin was going to say, but he was hopeful Justin would read exactly what he was trying to tell him without saying the words. But now they were here. In this stark white room. Justin fighting for his life. Brian barely holding it together, and still having to hold it together long enough to tell everyone else.

Wordlessly he reached for the forms that the doctor was holding in his hands and read quickly through them. The information on them was pretty much was the doctor had already told him, so he signed them and handed them back, instantly reaching for Justin’s hand again.

“When will they be done?” he asked, silently hoping he had a few minutes to just sit quietly with Justin before the next round of mayhem began.

“I’ll get a nurse to bring you in a cot and blankets for yourself, so you can try and get some rest. I’ll organise for the tests to be done tomorrow morning. It’s 3am now, and I know you haven’t stopped. I’ll go and organise everything. Is there anything else you need?” Brian shook his head, thankful that the doctor was being so understanding. “Just press the buzzer if you need anything at all, Brian. I know it’s hard right now, but we will get Justin through this. I’m here if you have any further questions.”

“Thank you, Doc.” Brian muttered quietly, collapsing into the chair beside the bed, hanging his head low, still gripping Justin’s hand as a lifeline.

Brian opened his eyes and glared at the bright light coming in through the window, as if it was the sunlight’s fault he was awake. He glanced down at his hand and saw he was still gripping Justin’s hand. He squeezed it gently and slowly brought it up to his mouth. He dropped a kiss and slowly setit back down.

He hadn’t slept much last night, with all the machines beeping. It really didn’t help that every time he did manage to close his eyes, his mind helpfully replayed the scene in the parking garage and the doctor telling him they found a mass in Justin’s brain. Fuck! It wasn’t all a nightmare.

He let go of Justin’s hand and stood up slowly, stretching all the muscles that had seized up overnight. A nurse had brought in a cot, like the doctor had promised, but he hadn’t used it. Brian didn’t want to let go of Justin’s hand and wanted to stay close, in case he woke up. Which Brian knew wasn’t going to happen yet, but he still held hope. After stretching, he bent down to softly kiss Justin's forehead.

“I’ll be back Sunshine. Don’t wake up while I’m gone,” Brian whispered. He stood back up and went in search of a toilet. He desperately needed to take a piss and throw some water on his face. A coffee wouldn’t go astray either.

He gingerly opened the door and took half a step out of the room before he was attacked. He tensed up until he realised someone had run over and was… giving him a hug? What the fuck? He relaxed slightly when he saw the blonde hair that matched that of the man laying on just the other side of the door.

“Jennifer,” he whispered. “It will be okay.” Brian was crap at comforting people but he knew he needed to do this for his, -- he shuddered at the word -- mother-in-law. He knew Jennifer needed his reassurance. Hell, he needed reassurance as well, but if he couldn’t receive it, the least he could do was give it. He slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulders and felt the sure tell signs of sobbing.

“But…. Justin….. Head…. Bat....” Jennifer was trying to put a sentence together, but between the sobs, it wasn’t happening. Brian just kept rubbing her back in silent support and let her break down. He was half expecting himself to break as well, but again, knew he needed to be strong. He pushed his own tears, fears, and shit away. Again.

After a minute or two, Jennifer started to calm down.

“Sorry Brian. I just. Nobody’s telling me anything.” Jennifer explained, taking a step back, wiping her face and collecting herself.

“Sorry’s bullshit.” Brian’s automatic response came out before he even had time to think about it. “Let’s take a seat. I’ll explain all I know for now and speak to the doc so that you can be put on paperwork somewhere, allowing you to ask questions and shit.” He gestured towards the chairs on the other side of the corridor. They both headed over and sat down.

“Basically, last night when he got here, they rushed him into the operating room. They had to open his skull to stop the pressure on his brain so it didn’t cause any other issues. He’s in there at the moment,” Brian paused and pointed to the door way across from them, “in a medically induced coma so that the swelling of his brain has time to go down without, hopefully, any more complications.” Brian paused to take a deep breath. It was at this point that Brian couldn’t prevent the tears from falling anymore. Jennifer reached over and grabbed his hand in silent support. “All of that went well. He’s recovering from that really well. He’s stable but still in critical condition for at least another 18 hours. But he’s stable.”

Jennifer cried in relief. She thanked whoever it was that was listening that her son was okay. At least for now. Her baby was only 18 and had gone through so much already. Craig had a lot to answer for, and so did Hobbs for causing Justin all this unnecessary pain.

“But,” Brian continued watching the relief on Jennifer's face and feeling something unidentifiable in his stomach. Was that guilt? Remorse? Did Jennifer blame him for what happened at the prom? If he hadn’t gone, this never would have happened. Jennifer looked at him with hope in her eyes. He hated having to squash it, but she needed to know, because there was no way in hell they were going to be able to handle this themselves. Both Justin and himself would need all the help and support they could get. He took another deep breath -- how many of these had he taken over the last 12 hours -- and forged forward.

“But, when they opened his skull, they found a mass.” He paused, letting that sink in. He had to be delicate with this.There was absolutely no way to say this gently, he just had to say it. “They did an urgent biopsy and it came back as cancerous.” The look of shock on Jennifer's face was heartbreaking.

And that’s when Brian’s resolve to stay strong broke.