The footsteps coming up the hallway alerted Brian to a new presence. He glanced down the corridor to see Mikey walking towards him and Jennifer with what looked like coffee in his hands.  Brian tried to pull himself together, and it worked to an extent. The reality, the shock, the fear, and the seriousness of the situation was setting in. He could lose his Sunshine.

Brian always had a fence around his heart. Well, more like a brick wall, but it was supposed to be impermeable. Supposed to be. And it was. Until the persistent little twink known as Justin came along and knocked it down, brick by fucking brick. He had to admit he admired Justin. For his strength, his resolve, his persistence, and his can-do attitude. Whatever Sunshine wanted, he worked so hard for until he got it. And for once, Brian was thankful. Because he did it. He got through Brian’s walls. Granted, Brian didn’t make it easy. But nothing easy is worth it. And now he was at risk of losing it all.

The amount of times he had pushed Justin off the ‘Brian Kinney cliff’ was astounding. No one else would have stuck around. That was the point. But Justin kept coming back for more. Why, Brian would never understand. Maybe he was just a glutton for punishment? Or maybe that’s what you did when you loved someone. Brian could admit that he knew now that he would do anything to see Sunshine happy. Justin could ask for the moon and Brian would work his arse off until he got it for him. If that’s what love felt like, maybe it wasn’t so bad.

He could potentially do this. Well not the sitting in the hospital thing, but perhaps he could give Justin the one thing he wanted. No, scratch that. He could do this. He could give Justin a relationship. He could see himself with Justin. Coming home to him, only him. Fucking only him. It’s not like Justin was boring in bed, or wherever it was they ended up fucking. He was adventurous as fuck. And Brian was never sure what to expect when they fucked. Never sure which Justin he was getting. The “let’s take it slow” which was really just making love, the “tie me up and bend me over” Justin, the “hard, fast, wham bam thank you ma’am” Justin, the “teach me something new” Justin, or the “What can I do to please you, sir.” Justin. It was spontaneous, it was fun. It was fucking hot.

He could step down from ‘stud of Liberty Avenue’. Maybe it was time to hand the crown to someone else. Brian was always under the illusion that fucking the same person over and over again would get boring and repetitive. But not with Justin. Justin was spontaneity, Justin was the complete opposite of boring.

He could come home to Justin, give Justin everything he ever wanted but never asked for. Just because he didn’t ask, didn’t mean Brian didn’t know. Justin often said he was onto Brian, well, Brian was onto him as well. He had seen it, in his eyes, in his smile. Especially in his smile tonight as he was walking away from the Jeep to tell Daphne that he was leaving. He could keep Justin living in the loft, mess and all. He was, after all, used to it now. Wasn’t like he didn’t know what he was getting himself into by living with him. He’d only been doing it on and off for the last 8 months.

It didn’t mean he had to give up life completely. He -- no, they -- could still go out to Woody’s, Babylon, the gym. It just meant if they went to Babylon, he would be taking Justin, and only Justin, to the back room. And that was okay. Both Justin and Brian has an exhibitionist streak in them, and again, that was okay. It was just one of the things that made their spark that little bit brighter.

While thinking about all of this, Brian realised something. It’s not that he could do it all.

It was that he wanted to.

He wanted that relationship, he wanted to give Justin everything. But he could only envision it with Justin. If anything happened to Justin, he knew that that fence around his heart would be going back up. And it would be impossible for anyone else to get through. Brian knew he would only be a shell of his former self. But he couldn’t think negatively like this. Justin has to make it through. He had to. There was no other choice. Because Brian couldn’t, didn’t fucking want to, envision his life without his Sunshine. It would be all fucking clouds and thunderstorms. Constantly.

He made a silent promise to himself that the second Justin woke up, he would tell him those three words he had only told him while he was in the back of the ambulance. The words Justin hasn’t heard, but that Brian knew he wanted -- no, needed -- to hear. Brian knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but that was okay. He knew he would fuck up occasionally, and he also knew Justin would forgive him. Because that’s the type of person Justin was. Forgiving, helpful, caring, loving, adorable, admirable and just overall amazing.

He wondered, if only for a second, what the gang would say. But then realised, he honestly didn’t give a fuck. He was thirty now, shudder, he had to grow up sometime right?

He envisioned Mikey being weird about it at first. Because he was Brian Kinney. He would always be young and beautiful. But Brian didn’t want to just be young and beautiful. He wanted to be Justin’s partner. He also knew that Mikey was a little bit in love with him, always had been, always would be, so because of this he would be jealous. Because Justin got what Michael always wanted but failed to do -- make one, Brian Kinney, fall in love with him.

Ted would just accept it. He wouldn’t really say much about it, at least, not to their faces. He wanted him to be supportive, which Ted always was. So he knew they would have no issues on the Ted front.

Daphne, well. She was another story. She would support them all the way. Always had, always would. Brian was convinced that during Justin and Daphne’s ‘girl time’ they had pretty much planned out their wedding. Well, one step at a time. Jesus, this was already a massive step for him. Either way, he knew Daphne would support the fuck out of them.

Emmett...well, Emmett would squeal and hug the shit out of him. Jesus, he could hear it now. He’d be telling baby that he was so proud of him, for breaking down the walls of Brian fucking Kinney and proving to him that he deserved to be loved. Brian prayed he wasn’t there when Emmett found out.

MaybeJustin could tell Emmett and Debbie together! Because Debbie would be another screamer. Debbie knew that Brian loved Sunshine, hell she knew before he knew. Debbie was like that. He also knew that Debbie would be watching his every fucking step, ensuring he didn’t fuck up like the ‘little asshole’ he could be. Well, at least not too badly. She would also be overbearing, loud and making sure everyone knew her opinion on the situation. She would also make sure no one had anything negative to say because she would fight them to the death if they did. Deb was like that. She would defend the fuck out of them, and it wouldn’t be quietly either. That’s one thing he was thankful for, being able to rely on her for that.

Lindsay and Mel were another two. Brian knew Mel would have something snarky to say. She always did. But Lindsay was an unknown. It could go two ways. Either she could be extremely supportive and push them together and make sure they stayed together, or she could try to push them apart with her manipulative ways. He was concerned that she would use Gus to get what she wanted -- what Brian wouldn’t give. He needed to look into getting his rights back. There had to be a way that all three of them had rights. If tonight taught him anything at all, it was that life was too short and you never knew what was just around the corner. He wanted to spend as much time with his Sonny Bboy as he could. He never envisioned that he would, or even could love anyone the way he loved Gus. His love for Gus was unconditional. And probably -- hopefully -- always would be. He had never wanted to play happy family’s, but that's another thing Justin changed. He wasn’t saying he wanted it every weekend, but perhaps one weekend a month. Where Justin, Gus, and himself would go to the park, or go to see whatever the new exhibition was at the art gallery, or even to the science centre that was down the road. He wanted that, craved that. But first he had to get Justin on the right track.

The one person he wasn’t sure about their reaction was Jennifer. After all, Justin was still her baby and he knew there was no love lost between Jennifer and Brian. But hopefully, just hopefully, if she did have an issue with it, she would allow Brian to show her that he really did love her son and that he would do anything for him. Anything at all. Give him everything and more.

He would fight for everything with Justin. He just needed Justin to fight for his life now.

With a plan of action now in place, he just needed the other party to wake up and join the party. After all, it was hard to be in a relationship with just one person. It took two to tango.

Which took him back to the prom. That dance he shared with Justin was something he would always remember. But now, that memory was tainted with a fucking baseball bat and fucking Hobbs. He instantly knew though, that if Justin ever got his wish with Daphne to organise a wedding, that song would be their first dance. No questions asked. He wanted to recreate that dream dance with Justin. Except this time, nothing would happen afterwards. Brian would make sure of it. “Save the Last Dance for Me” would always hold a special place in his heart now, and he wouldn’t be able to listen to it without envisioning their dance. He could only hope that over time that the memories would only be of the dance. Not what happened afterwards. But because it was still so fresh, it fucking hurt. It was breaking his heart all over again. Bringing his hands up to scrub his face he was transported back into the here and now when a hand touched his back gently.

“Brian, you okay?” Mikey‘s hesitant voice broke through his thoughts. All Brian could do was take yet another deep breath, how fucking many of them has he had to take lately, and nod silently. He was grateful when Mikey handed him a coffee. He needed to wake up. He needed to stay in the present.

All the other issues, they were for future Brian. Present Brian had enough fucking issues to deal with. Like getting his Sunshine through this. Because at this point?

There was no other option.