Title: I’m Missing You…
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 2460
Rating: R
Warnings: Passion and Lust…
Beta Queen: bigj52
Banner: yvonne_reid

Summary: Brian goes missing during a sea cruise…

Chapter Summary: Justin tries to find his old self-confidence and make new beginnings…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable charters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…


I’m Missing You…


Chapter 8 ~ Justin’s Reality Check

After Daphne and he returned to Pittsburgh he asked her to come and live with him at Britin. Daphne agreed but only if Justin went back to school. After all he was so close to having a degree. Besides it would give him something to do all day long; he thought it was a little redundant, seeing that he was already having his work shown at a few galleries, but nevertheless he agreed. 

He likes his classes and his teachers and the Dean were more than willing to have him back to finish his degree. Justin knew that Brian would be proud of him for completing it; that was always a sore point in their relationship. Even though he had meet several new friends and kept busy with his art projects he still missed Brian and just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was just waiting to be found. He kept in touch with the private investigators working the case but nothing new had shown up. Justin couldn’t help but think that if something had happened that some of their things would have washed up on shore somewhere. He still refused to believe Brian was dead.

Lindsay and Mel had become more belligerent towards Justin, accusing him of hoarding all of Brian’s money. They were convinced that Brian was dead and they wanted the courts to step in and pronounce him legally dead. Justin was furious about this, considering it had only been a little over three months since he went missing so he told them to sue him if they wanted. The state of Florida still listed him as missing and said that they would have to wait a year before they would consider him legally dead.

The insurance company agreed with the state of Florida saying they wouldn’t pay out on the insurance claim until a death certificate had been issued. Lindsay wanted to read Brian’s will; she was sure that he had left more than just the insurance money to them. She’d been calling everyone in the family trying to get them to agree to convince Justin to have his will read; putting notions in their heads that they all had a large sum of money coming and that Justin was just being greedy, trying to keep all the money to himself. 

Justin was so hurt by their accusations. He felt that she was trying to turn the family against him when all he wanted was for Brian to be found. Michael was the first to try to talk with Justin, asking him what harm it could do to have his will read. That way everyone would know where they all stood as far as their inheritance was concerned. To Justin it just felt like they were all money hungry. 

But he decided to talk with Brian’s attorney for advice and the attorney offered to let Justin read his will. He didn’t think it was a good idea because it might make Brian’s death seem more real. And even if they read the will it would not be executed until after a death certificate was issued. Justin wasn’t sure how he felt about it all; he just wanted to stop all the bickering going on with the family. Brian’s lawyer told Justin that both the loft and Britin had been paid in full and that they were both in their names as well as their joint bank accounts, so that could never be taken away from him.

Justin had been avoiding the family dinners at Deb’s house due to all the bad feeling going around but he decided that he would go to this one on Sunday afternoon. He had heard that the girls were in town and wanted to clear the air between them. Besides it had been months since he had seen Gus and he wonder how he was holding up. When he arrived at Deb’s everyone was already there waiting for him. Gus was the first to see him as he came running across the yard and into his arms. He looked around and asked Justin where his father was, which almost brought tears to his eyes. He just looked at Lindsay, asking how could she not have at least told him he wouldn’t be there.

Lindsay’s sour expression left him speechless as she responded, “I thought maybe you might have found him by now…” 

This just broke Justin’s heart as he looked up at all the family; he hated being humiliated in front of everyone. Lindsay then smugly said, “Now you know how absurd it is to keep telling yourself that he’s coming back. You need to face reality. He’s gone and it’s time we all started living our lives again.”

Justin is so shocked by this that he lost his breath and is speechless as the tears well up in his eyes. He turns around and goes back into the house. Debbie embraces him, telling not to give up hope; she seems to be the only one that still believes that Brian could be found. Even Emmett asks what harm it could do to have Brian’s will read even if they won’t be inheriting anything for another nine months. 

Justin just looks defeated and he says that they’ll set a date and have a reading of the will. But that it won’t change anything; that he’ll still keep searching for Brian and they won’t be getting a check for a long time. Lindsay feels like she’s won this argument and then she has the gall to ask Mel if they can actually get an advance from Brian’s estate against their inheritance. 

Surprisingly Mel is angry with her and says that she should just be happy that she’ll be finding out if they’re even included in Brian’s will. She thinks it’s bizarre that they all think they’re in the will, that she doesn’t expect Brian to have been any more generous in death than he was in life. Michael looks shocked and says, “But I’m his best friend. Surely he would have left part of his estate to me.” 

Lindsay says, “But Gus is his son and his only living heir. Surely he’s left the bulk of his estate to him.”

Justin can’t believe the vultures circling his grave at this point so he keeps his mouth shut, knowing that Brian has left him all his property and probably his business. Now everyone’s busy, checking their calendars, searching for a date to have the reading of his will. Lindsay pipes in with, “I think we should also have a service for him. It just doesn’t seem right reading the will without a funeral.” Justin thinks he’s going to be sick to his stomach, realizing that they’ve all given up on Brian coming home. 

He hugs Debbie good-bye and says that he can’t stand to be there any longer. He needs to go home to try and relax. No one else even seems to notice that he’s gone until Lindsay says that she thinks that Brian’s estate should pay for the funeral. After all they’re very expensive. Everyone looks to Justin to get his approval when they notice he’s no longer there. Debbie’s even shocked and says that they’re acting prematurely; that they shouldn’t be having a funeral until he’s found or the state of Florida declares him dead. 

Justin goes home and sits at Brian’s desk, running his fingers over the surface, praying that he would just come home so they can stop this circus. He can’t believe how all his friends were acting this afternoon. He takes out Brian’s stash box and rolls himself a joint… Fuck rehab! He needs this after the day he’s had.
Daphne comes home from studying at the library and smells the joint and comes into Brian’s office. Justin says, “Please, not today. Not after the afternoon I’ve had…”

Then he proceeds to tell her everything that went down at Debbie’s house as he pours them both a drink. He says, “You know I never expected this from all of them. Never in a million years did I think his friends would all turn on him. Everyone except Debbie - she’s still trying to believe in him. After they finish the joint they go outside and sit by the pool, which was one of Brian’s favorite places. Justin sits on the pool’s edge with his feet dangling in the water. He asks, “Am I wrong to still believe in him, Daphne? Am I just kidding myself to think he’ll still coming home?”

The next day Justin is sitting in his life drawing class sketching the nude male model. His mind keeps drifting back to all the times that Brian would sit for him and how beautiful he was. He remembers the first time he sketched Brian while he was still sleeping and then wonders what happened to that sketch that Brian ended up buying at the GLC auction. He remembers how surprised he was that Brian had bought it and how special it made him feel. 

He’s brought out of his daydream when his cell phone rings and he checks the caller ID to see that it’s his agent. He steps outside of the classroom and takes the call. Norman’s excited and says that he has just lined up two shows for him. One at Christmas time and the other is set for spring. He also mentions that he has several art galleries interested in hanging some of his paintings. He asks if he can come out to the house in a couple of weeks and bring back several paintings he knows that Justin has completed this past summer.

Justin’s happy now that he seems to have attracted the attention of a couple more art dealers. He’s all smiles when he returns to class and continues drawing the figure study he’s been working on this last hour or so. His teacher comes over and asks how his hand is holding out because he often has to take a break about every half hour or so. His teacher is very impressed with his work and compliments him. 

After class he meets up with Daphne and they go and get something to eat at the Thai place Brian loved so much. The last time he was there was with Brian and that brings back so many memories he can’t help but feel a little sad. He asks Daphne, “How am I ever going to get over him? Not an hour goes by that I don’t think about him. I miss him so much, Daph. I just feel like a part of me is dying.”

Daphne says that it’s normal for him to grieve; that even if he is coming back that it’s okay to miss him. She says she would be even more worried about him if he wasn’t grieving. 

“It’s so hard to stay positive all the time when everyone all around me is so pessimistic. You should have heard them all. They’re so sure he’s dead. God, I just wish he’d come home and prove them all wrong.”

He’s so depressed he can’t stand being in the house all the time. He asks Daphne if she wants to go to the cabin with him this weekend so they make plans to get away. Friday afternoon can’t come fast enough for them as they pack the car and make the long drive to the island. The sun is just starting to go down when they get there. So they make a bonfire and sit watching the flames as they barbeque chicken and grill vegetables. Justin rolls a joint and they get stoned, reminiscing about all the times they spent here as kids. They practically grew up there.

They stay up late into the night, watching the fire and getting drunk, talking about what the future might hold. Daphne asks him if he wants to return to New York to live. Justin is totally taken back by the question but then admits that he often daydreams about him and Brian getting a super luxurious apartment in Manhattan and Brian opening a branch of Kinnetik there. How he would have access to all those big-time clients down on Madison Avenue and how they would attend all the fabulous art openings and fancy parties. 

He laughs and says, ”That would have been some life now, wouldn’t it?”

“You don’t know. Maybe it can still happen. You’re young and your art is becoming more popular all the time.” Daphne replies. 

The next morning they woke up late and made pancakes with real maple syrup and thick sliced bacon. They eat out front on the picnic table and watch the waves breaking on the shore. They go for a boat ride around the island and notice that Julie and Brad are there for the weekend. They dock the boat and go up to say hi; Julie is surprised to see them as she gives them both big hugs and asks how the search for Brian is going.

She mentioned that she had seen Jared about a month ago and that he mentioned Brian’s missing person case and that he had spent some time with Justin in Florida. She tells him that he felt so bad about the way things ended. He realized that he needed help with his drug addiction and checked himself into a clinic in New York City. Justin is shocked that he actually told Julie all about what happened but also relieved that he sought help for his problem; maybe Jared wasn’t such a bad guy after all.

The four of them spent the day swimming and water skiing - just having fun in the water. They played cards most of the night, enjoying the last of a beautiful summer’s weekend together. The time went by too fast but it was just what Justin needed to feel relaxed and more like himself. 

~~~~

Justin feels the heat of Brian’s breath and it sends shivers down his back; he feels his hands running through his hair as he holds him close. Justin places butterfly kisses all over Brian’s face, welcoming him home. Brian takes him into his arms, kissing him passionately as Justin moans his name. Justin sits up straight in bed, reaching for Brian as he realizes that it was all just a dream, even though it felt so real. Justin’s heart is beating fast and he’s covered in a thin film of sweat. As he wakes up more he’s sure that Brian is alive, trying to communicate with him.

TBC…