All time stamps are in Eastern Standard Time (Pittsburgh) while Justin is in Pacific Standard Time, three hours behind. Even for the texts when they’re obviously both in Los Angeles, just to keep it standard.
Tuesday February 13 - Friday February 16, 2007
2/13/2007
9 AM
Justin
Text me when you land?
9:02 AM
Brian
Okay.
2:13 PM
Brian
Landed. Heading straight to Kinnetik. Cynthia left ten voice messages while I was in the air. Might have to fire the art department.
2:20 PM
Justin
Torch it to the ground and start over?
2:22 PM
Brian
Exactly. It’s almost like you’ve met me before.
2:23 PM
Justin
You’re pretty easy Mr. Kinney. Text when you get to Kinnetik?
4:00 PM
Brian
At Kinnetik. I’m going straight into a meeting and then who the hell knows.
4:05 PM
Justin
Okay.
2/14/2007
6:54 PM
Justin
<>
7:03 PM
Brian
Did you just call?
7:04 PM
Justin
Yeah, figured you would be done at the office by now. Still busy?
7:23 PM
Justin
Brian?
7:31 PM
Brian
Sorry. I’m here with Gus and JR and Adeline. My hand are full.
7:33 PM
Justin
What? You’re alone with all three?
7:34 PM
Justin
What happened?
7:34 PM
Justin
Is everyone okay?
7:37 PM
Justin
Brian?
7:39 PM
Brian
It’s Valentine’s Day, Sunshine. All the couples wanted to go out and do couples stuff.
7:40 PM
Justin
It is?
7:42 PM
Brian
Be right back, door.
7:43 PM
Brian
Thank fuck Ted is here to help. Or be a fourth kid.
7:45 PM
Justin
He’s not out with Blake?
7:48 PM
Brian
Rehabs don’t close for Valentine’s Day.
7:48 PM
Justin
Oh right.
7:50 PM
Brian
Uhhh JR is strangling Adeline and I think Ted is about to cry. Got to go.
8:30 PM
Brian
Ted just asked if I got you anything. Was I supposed to?
8:44 PM
Justin
I didn’t even realize it was Valentine’s Day.
8:45 PM
Brian
Thank god.
2/15/2007
6:12 AM
Justin
Are you awake?
6:20 AM
Brian
It’s 6 AM here, I have work. The question is why are you awake?
6:20 AM
Justin
I can’t sleep.
6:23 AM
Brian
You haven’t slept at all?
6:23 AM
Justin
No.
6:25 AM
Brian
Shit.
6:25 AM
Justin
Yeah that about sums it up.
6:26 AM
Brian
Will you please call your doctor about this?
6:27 AM
Justin
Yeah.
10:31 PM
Justin
When’s your flight back?
10:46 PM
Tomorrow. I get in 7 PM. Liberty Air 325. I emailed you my itinerary.
10:50 PM
Justin
Didn’t check my email.
10:51 PM
Brian
Obviously.
11:03 PM
Justin
Text when you get through security?
11:07 PM
Brian
Okay.
02/16/2007
3:06 PM
Brian
I just got felt up by TSA. Really disappointing experience - one out of ten. Would not recommend to a friend.
3:12 PM
Justin
Poor Brian.
3:20 PM
Brian
Based on what Ted’s saying, I don’t think that’s even remotely a possibility anymore.
3:23 PM
Justin
I won’t be here when you get in. I’m going to a gallery opening.
3:26 PM
Brian
Okay.
3:38 PM
Justin
Text when you get to the house?
3:40 PM
Brian
Okay.
3:43 PM
Justin
Ru has learned this charming trick of dashing out the front door and into the street. So watch out for that! And I made some arrabiata- it’s covered on the stove. Oh and there’s some grilled asparagus.
3:47 PM
Brian
Don’t kill the cat. There’s food. Check. Check.
3:49 PM
Brian
Thanks for dinner.
3:54 PM
Justin
You’re welcome.
4:02 PM
Brian
We own a grill?
4:05 PM
Justin
A stovetop one, yes.
4:06 PM
Justin
You bought it.
4:09 PM
Brian
Curiouser and curiouser.
11:13 PM
Brian
Just got in. I’m going to shower before heating up dinner.
11:20 PM
Justin
I hope you like it. I should be home in another hour or so.
Wednesday February 21 -Saturday February 24, 2007
02/21/2007
12:01 AM
Justin
Sorry that everything went wrong tonight. I hope you get to the airport in time for your flight!
12:01 AM
Justin
Hey! That rhymed.
12:02 AM
Justin
Sorry. I’m embarrassed enough for myself at this point.
12:41 AM
Brian
Just boarded and they’re saying we need to turn off cell phones.
12:43 AM
Justin
Text when you land?
12:45 AM
Brian
Okay but remember it will be like 2 AM your time. Don’t stay up. Take that sleeping medication. I put the bottle next to your pill organizer.
12:49 AM
Justin
Better living through chemistry - the gospel according to Kinney. Will do. Safe flight!
5:04 AM
Brian
Landed. Going to head to the loft to shower and change and maybe catch an hour of sleep.
8:14 AM
Brian
The fucking art department. And the damn intern didn’t make coffee.
1:23 PM
Brian
Justin?
2:38 PM
Brian
<>
3:04 PM
Brian
Justin?
3:06 PM
Brian
<>
3:06 PM
Brian
Pick up your damn phone when I call. Where the fuck are you?
3:08 PM
Justin
Hello?
3:08 PM
Brian
Jesus shitting christ I was a minute away from calling the police. Where the fuck have you been?
3:11 PM
Justin
I took that sleeping pill like you told me to.
3:11 PM
Brian
Yeah and…?
3:21 PM
Justin
I was asleep.
3:23 PM
For 12 hours?
3:29 PM
Justin
I guess.
3:33 PM
Brian
What the fuck is that thing? A horse tranquilizer?
3:35 PM
Justin
Must be.
3:42 PM
Justin
Trazodone.
3:47 PM
Brian
Well fuck.
3:54 PM
Justin
I’m sorry about that! I’m going to go make coffee. Believe it or not, I’m still groggy.
4:13 PM
Brian
There’s an epi-pen in the master bath and in the kitchen.
4:22 PM
Justin
Huh.
4:24 PM
Brian
Just thought you should know.
4:27 PM
Justin
Sure.
02/22/2007
1:12 PM
Justin
What are you wearing?
1:16 PM
Brian
Justin, I’m on the phone with Duohammer’s social media team, whatever the fuck that is.
1:16 PM
Brian
Sounds made up.
1:17 PM
Justin
What are you wearing?
1:17 PM
Brian
The eggplant Armani with the mauve shirt and the black tie I ordered from Bachardy’s.
1:18 PM
Justin
Did you miss all your formal business attire?
1:20 PM
Brian
Not as much as it missed me.
1:20 PM
Justin
The eggplant Armani, huh? That always makes your eyes look so green.
1:21 PM
Justin
I wish I was there to see it.
1:22 PM
Brian
Oh yeah?
1:22 PM
Justin
Yeah, on my knees in front of you. While you try to make a business call.
1:24 PM
Justin
Are you still on with the social media team?
1:24 PM
Brian
I am.
1:25 PM
Brian
What would you do?
1:26 PM
Justin
Unzip your trousers, slip you out. Are you hard already?
1:27 PM
Brian
Getting there. Are you?
1:27 PM
Justin
Mmhmm.
1:28 PM
Justin
I would suck you until you were so hard.
1:28 PM
Justin
I love the way you taste. The way you smell.
1:29 PM
Justin
I haven’t changed the sheets, they still smell like you.
1:30 PM
Brian
What else would you do?
1:31 PM
Justin
I know just what you like. I would do that thing with my tongue.
1:31 PM
Brian
Fuck yeah.
1:33 PM
Justin
Let you fuck my mouth.
1:33 PM
Justin
I love it when you lose control like that.
1:34 PM
Brian
You do?
1:36 PM
Justin
Yeah.
1:36 PM
Brian
I can’t help myself. You have such a pretty mouth. It was made to be fucked.
1:37 PM
Justin
Brian - I’m going to call. Just let it go to voicemail. I know you’re on a call. I just need to hear your voice.
1:37 PM
Brian
Okay.
1:38 PM
Justin
<>
1:46 PM
Justin
Thanks, Brian.
1:47 PM
Brian
Was that good for you?
1:47 PM
Justin
Yeah.
1:49 PM
Brian
Me too.
1:51 PM
Justin
You mean you…
1:51 PM
Brian
Yeah.
1:53 PM
Justin
While you were on the phone?
1:55 PM
Brian
Yeah.
1:55 PM
Justin
With the social media team?
1:55 PM
Brian
Yeah.
1:59 PM
Justin
Fuck that’s hot.
2:01 PM
Brian
Hard again?
2:03 PM
Justin
Are you still on the phone with them?
2:04 PM
Brian
No.
2:04 PM
Justin
Calling. Pick up this time.
11:13 PM
Brian
Mikey just pointed out that kitty sounds like Kinney.
11:13 PM
Brian
If Ru’s name is Ru Kinney it almost sounds like Ru Kitty.
11:15 PM
Brian
Or if Ru’s name is Ru Kitty it almost sounds like Ru Kinney.
11:19 PM
Brian
But it’s probably Ru Taylor, huh?
11:27 PM
Justin
Brian? Are you high?
11:32 PM
Brian
Maybe.
11:34 PM
Justin
You are so going to regret this when you sober up.
02/23/2007
11:18 AM
Brian
Hey, how about you delete those texts from last night?
11:21 AM
Justin
Fuck no. They’re locked. I’m going to look at them every day for the rest of my life.
11:22 AM
Brian
Fuck you, Taylor.
11:25 AM
Justin
In your dreams, Mr. Kinney.
Sunday March 11 - Friday March 16, 2007
03/11/2007
8:11 PM
Justin
You’re never going to believe this! Daphne’s getting out of a cab in front of the house right now!
8:13 PM
Brian
No shit.
8:13 PM
Justin
I can’t believe she’s surprising me for my birthday!
8:34 PM
Justin
<>
8:35 PM
Justin
Brian, pick up!
8:37 PM
Justin
<>
8:37 PM
Justin
Brian! Pick up your damn phone.
8:40 PM
Justin
You stubborn asshole. Daphne told me you flew her down and that we have reservations and dinner already paid for at Madeline Bistro. It’s impossible to get in there. Thank you! Best birthday ever.
03/12/2007
1:12 AM
Justin
Oh my god. The bigger maque was amazing. AMAZING. Maybe better than sex.
1:23 AM
Brian
Are you drunk?
1:25 AM
Justin
:) Maybe. Just a little.
1:25 AM
Justin
Yes.
1:27 AM
Brian
Okay I’ll forgive your blasphemy.
1:29 AM
Justin
Teehee. Or call me and remind me why sex is better than food.
1:29 AM
Brian
Aren’t you in the back of a limo with Daphne?
1:32 AM
Justin
Oh yeah.
1:33 AM
Brian
Later?
1:36 AM
Justin
Later.
1:36 PM
Justin
What are you doing right now?
1:38 PM
Brian
Diner for lunch with the guys.
1:40 PM
Justin
Oh! I miss the diner.
1:43 PM
Brian
Your love of diner food really makes me doubt your taste. Myself notwithstanding.
1:46 PM
Justin
MY love of diner food? Hate to break it to you but you’ve been eating there longer than I’ve been alive.
1:47 PM
Brian
That’s an exaggeration.
1:47 PM
Justin
A SLIGHT exaggeration.
1:50 PM
Justin
The point remains.
1:51 PM
Justin
It’s not the food I miss.
1:59 PM
Brian
I know.
2:04 PM
Justin
We haven’t found our people in LA.
2:06 PM
Brian
Not yet.
2:07 PM
Justin
Not yet.
03/15/2007
2:23 PM
Justin
Did you see that write up in the LAist today?
2:37 PM
Brian
Is that a rhetorical question?
2:40 PM
Justin
I guess. There’s a new exhibit opening at the end of the month at LACMA.
2:41 PM
Brian
Hang on.
2:53 PM
Brian
Okay.
2:53 PM
Brian
I take it you want to go?
2:55 PM
Justin
Yeah. Would you want to go with me?
2:57 PM
Brian
I’ll admit “finish fetish” has me intrigued.
3:01 PM
Justin
Thought it might. I thought it would be cool to see specifically Southern California art. The 60s and 70s, pop art. I’m so familiar with what was happening on the east coast at that time but not LA.
3:01 PM
Brian
Your definition of cool…
3:06 PM
Justin
I know, I know.
3:06 PM
Brian
I like it.
Monday March 26, 2007 - Friday March 30, 2007
03/26/2007
4:24 PM
Brian
Why does the pharmacy have my number on file?
4:26 PM
Justin
Because you pick up your phone.
4:27 PM
Brian
I just got a call that your antibiotics are ready. Don’t walk, call a cab if Quinn can’t take you.
4:28 PM
Justin
I’ll walk, it’s really not a big deal.
4:28 PM
Brian
Not a big deal? You can’t breathe.
4:31 PM
Brian
It’s shitty you can’t drive right now. I get that. But it’s a practically on the way home. Did you even ask Quinn?
4:39 PM
Justin
Fine. Quinn says they’ll take me on the way home. I got an eye roll from them so spare me, OK?
4:41 PM
Brian
Just take your meds and get some rest.
9:28 PM
Justin
A delivery guy just showed up with matzah ball soup from Greenblatt’s, tissues, and orange juice. I didn’t even know you could order that stuff. Thank you.
9:32 PM
Brian
Sorry at Woody’s can’t talk right now.
11:46 PM
Brian
How are you feeling?
11:53 PM
Justin
Back from Woody’s?
11:53 PM
Brian
Yeah.
11:54 PM
Justin
My face still feels like someone stole it and replaced it with a face that’s slightly too small.
11:56 PM
Brian
That is quite the image, Sunshine.
11:57 PM
Justin
Yeah. I’m resting though.
11:57 PM
Brian
You’re in bed then?
11:58 PM
Justin
Yeah.
03/27/2007
12:04 AM
Brian
What are you wearing?
12:05 AM
Justin
What?!?
12:07 AM
Brian
I sent you the nice tissues with lotion, didn’t I? Don’t tell me they got the order wrong.
12:07 AM
Justin
No, they didn’t.
12:09 AM
Brian
Call me. Let’s put them to good use.
03/29/2007
6:17 PM
Justin
Don’t freak out.
6:23 PM
Brian
Justin, it is incredibly difficult to not freak out when you just send a text saying “don’t freak out.”
6:29 PM
Justin
I’m at the ER.
6:29 PM
Brian
What? Why?
6:31 PM
Justin
I had a headache. I took something and I didn’t realize it had Tylenol in it.
6:31 PM
Brian
What?
6:34 PM
Justin
I picked it up at the pharmacy the other day. We’re out of Advil. I saw it had caffeine in and you know that helps my headaches.
6:34 PM
Brian
Excedrin. You got Excedrin?
6:35 PM
Brian
You didn’t know Excedrin has Tylenol?
6:40 PM
Justin
No! I know Excedrin has Tylenol. I got the generic.
6:40 PM
Justin
I wasn’t looking closely.
6:41 PM
Justin
I was sick.
6:44 PM
Brian
You do get stupid when you’re sick.
6:46 PM
Brian
How did you get to the ER?
6:53 PM
Justin
I took my epi-pen once I realized what was going on and called an ambulance.
6:55 PM
Brian
Good.
7:01 PM
Brian
How’s your breathing?
7:03 PM
Justin
Well I am.
7:04 PM
Brian
Pleasant change?
7:07 PM
Justin
You have no idea.
7:10 PM
Justin
I’m sorry.
7:13 PM
Brian
Don’t fucking apologize.
7:13 PM
Brian
Just call me when you get discharged.
7:17 PM
Justin
Okay.
Monday April 9 - Thursday April 12, 2007
04/09/2007
9:03 AM
Brian
Just got to LAX.
9:24 AM
Justin
Thanks! Have a safe flight.
9:26 AM
Brian
Will do.
3:48 PM
Brian
Just landed. Headed to the loft. Gotta shower before I go in.
3:50 PM
Justin
Mile high club?
3:54 PM
Brian
You know it.
3:56 PM
Justin
Well done.
5:06 PM
Brian
Just got to the office and check to see if hell has frozen over because I think we might be getting final approval on these boards today.
5:07 PM
Justin
In class.
5:51 PM
Justin
So what’s the word on the boards?
5:55 PM
Brian
Change the font color and it’s done.
5:56 PM
Justin
YAY!
5:56 PM
Justin
Finally, huh?
5:59 PM
Brian
You got that right.
6:08 PM
Brian
Sunshine, Cynthia just walked in with a bottle of champagne and that look in her eye and she’s not telling me anything.
6:08 PM
Justin
What?
6:10 PM
Brian
You’ve not been able to pull off that doe-eyed innocent since that first night, not even over text.
6:10 PM
Brian
I can make you break before Cynthia. Gig is up, Sunshine.
6:13 PM
Justin
Cynthia should have a whole crate of that bubbly. Share it. Even with the art department.
6:15 PM
Brian
Justin.
6:15 PM
Justin
She also has a bottle of the finest cranberry juice for Ted. Make sure he gets it.
6:16 PM
Brian
Justin
6:18 PM
Justin
Congratulations, that’s all
04/11/2007
1:13 PM
Justin
Ughhhh so hungover.
1:17 PM
Brian
Poor Sunshine. What did you get up to last night?
1:17 PM
Brian
Or should I say who did you get into last night?
1:23 PM
Justin
Shots. Too many shots. I’m never drinking tequila again.
1:27 PM
Brian
You say that every time. And yet, you still buy it by the case at BevMo.
1:29 PM
Justin
This time I mean it.
1:30 PM
Brian
Who was buying?
1:32 PM
Justin
What makes you think someone was buying me drinks?
1:34 PM
Brian
I know how...tight...you are. You would never spring for that many drinks at the club.
1:35 PM
Justin
It was one of those model-slash-actor-slash-I-really-want-to-direct types.
1:37 PM
Brian
Hot?
1:40 PM
Justin
So fucking beautiful.
1:42 PM
Justin
But dumb as a box of hammers.
1:45 PM
Brian
No one’s perfect.
1:48 PM
Justin
Except you.
1:48 PM
Brian
Present company excluded, of course.
Thursday April 12, 2007
10:17 AM
Brian
At the airport.
11:04 AM
Brian
Can’t believe that was my final time through security. For a long time.
11:12 AM
Justin
You’re going to miss those handsy TSA agents, huh?
11:15 AM
Brian
Not even a little.
5:54 PM
Brian
Just landed. Who’s idea was it to arrive at rush hour? See you...tomorrow probably.
6:01 PM
Justin
Can’t wait.