Gus: “But, Dad-”

Brian: “No, Gus.”

Justin walks in: “What’s going on?”

Gus pouts: “Dad won’t let me have a pet.”

Justin turns to Brian with a raised eyebrow.

Brian: “No, Justin. You have no idea what he wants.”

Gus: “But, Dad, they are really cool. And I’d be the only kid in my entire school to have one.”

Brian: “Gus, they don’t make good pets. They’re dirty, they leave droppings everywhere, they bite-”

Justin sounds concerned: “Bite?”

Brian: “Yes, they bite. And they probably fucking smell hideous.”

Justin: “What kind of pet are we talking about?”

Brian: “He wants a bat. The kind that sucks your blood.”

Justin’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline.

Gus: “It’s not like they’re gonna turn us into vampires or anything. Besides they even dance.”

Brian and Justin: “Dance?”

Gus holds up his iPad: “Yeah, see.”

Happy Halloween, Everybody!