“Justin, oh god, Justin, wake up, Sunshine,” Brian whispered as the ambulance flew down the road.  He knew he had answered some question asked by a paramedic but he had no idea what he said. “I love you, Baby, please.”  Brian was numb. Why was it taking so long? Why weren’t they there yet. Brian closed his eyes. He was going to kill his sister.  This was all her fault. The kids, were the kids alright? Yes, Alice and Becca had the kids. They were fine. Gus’ horrified face crossed his mind. Poor Gus.  He was so brave and worried. Blake and Ted were there. They would stay and help.

Brian’s eyes flew open when he was sure Justin squeezed his hand. “He’s waking up.” He looked at the paramedic.  “Sunshine, oh, Sweetheart, open your “

Justin slowly opened his eyes. Brian bent down and brushed a kiss across his lips. “Oh, Baby, it is so good to see those beautiful eyes.”

As Brian saw a smile start to cross Justin’s lips, Justin’ eyes rolled back and his entire body began to convulse violently. “No, no, no, no.  Justin!” It lasted about twenty seconds.

The paramedic reached over and placed a hand on Brian’s arm.  “Sir, this is not unusual with a head trauma. His vitals are strong. We are pulling into the hospital now.  There is a neurologist waiting for us.” Brian showed no reaction. “Brian, I think that is your name. Look at me.”  Brian’s eyes raised to look at him. “Do you know your friend’s health history? Try to remember everything you can so you can help the doctor.  That will be the best way you can help your friend.”

“Husband, he is my husband!”

The doors flew open and the gurney was pulled off.  Brian refused to let go of Justin’s hand until someone told him he would be in the way.  Justin was starting to come back after the seizure. Brian kissed him. “I love you, Justin.  Your kids love you,” and he was whisked away.

Brian stood at the doors as they shut.  He felt a hand on his arm. “Sir, why don’t you come sit over here.”  The older woman led him to a private seating area. She said her name but Brian wasn’t paying attention. “What’s your name?”  Her kind voice sank in.

“Brian.”

“Brian, can I ask you a few questions about your husband?”  Brian nodded and she wrote down the answers to some basic questions including his name, his age, and information about his previous head injury. “Brian, I will be right back.  I want to pass this on to the doctor. I promise to tell you what is going on when I get back.”

Brian sat there in shock.  His memories flashed back and forth to that prom night so many years ago and to the reception just a short time ago. For the second time he felt a hand on his arm.  He looked up and saw Ted and Blake. Ted sat in the recently vacated chair and put his arms around Brian. Brian dissolved in a heap and sobbed.

Blake looked at Brian and Ted.  “Let me see if I can find out anything.”

In the emergency room Justin had regained consciousness. “Justin, can you hear me?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, sir.”  Justin responded.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Justin gave a brief explanation of what had been happening the last couple weeks.

“Well, the wound on your head is superficial and it is obvious you are lucid now.  We are going to commit you for tests and observation. Once you are moved your husband can join you.

“How is Brian?  I bet he is going nuts.  Will it be long before I can talk to him?”

“Please relax, Justin.  Stress does not help your condition.  I will let him come in for just a second before we move you but then you need to relax or we will give you something to calm you.”

The doctor walked out and found Brian.  “Brian?”

Brian jumped up. “Is he Ok?”

“He is awake. You can see him for a minute and then we are moving him to a room.  Once he is settled I will come talk to both of you.”

A nurse led him into the bay Justin was in. Brian couldn’t stop the tears as he saw Justin’s smile. “Oh, Sunshine, you scared the hell out of me.”

“The bump on my head is minor.”

Brian silenced him with a kiss. “I love you.  You know I love you, right.”

“Brian, I have known you loved me since the night we met.” He reached up and kissed him, shaking them both to their core.

“Excuse me, gentlemen, I need to move Mr. Taylor-Kinney now. Once he is settled we will let you know where he is.” And Brian was left standing there alone.

Brian went back to the waiting room where Blake and Ted were.  “He’s awake. They have taken him to a room and then the doctor will come talk to us.  Oh, shit, I have to call Jenn. I should have called her right away.”

Ted put his hand on Brian’s shoulder.  “She should be here any minute. I contacted her.”  

“Thanks, Ted.” Brian seemed much calmer.  “Hey, guys why don’t you go ahead and go home.  You have to pick up your son. Jenn will be here in a couple….Jenn is here now.”  He nodded in the direction of the door.

“Let me know if there is any changes,” Ted hugged him and Blake followed suit. “Call us if you need anything.”  They both greeted Jennifer as she arrived.

Jennifer’s face said it all.  She was as scared as Brian. She walked over and they took comfort in each other’s arms. “Where is he?  How is he? What happened?”

“Let’s sit down, Jenn.”  He pulled her close getting comfort from her and giving her comfort in return.

“What’s going on, Brian. Tell me everything!”

“Justin was having some problems with getting dizzy and sort of losing track of time.” As Jennifer opened her mouth to scold him, he raised his hand. “He didn’t tell me until two days ago when.  He finally admitted he was scared but we had the wedding today. He was going in first thing Monday to his neurologist. Jenn, he fell with Brinn. He protected her but hit his head and that is when it got so much worse. He told me he was scared last night.” As Brian kept talking the more he began to crumble.  “Today he was being very careful, Brinn was well cared for and he was staying as quiet as he could but then my sister….”

“Claire was there! She got drunk and started spouting off to Peter but was making sure Justin was hearing everything.  It was when she started calling the kids names and me that he lost it. He collapsed and hit his head. He was bleeding.  Jenn, it was just like last time. I couldn’t do anything for him. I couldn’t……” Brian took a deep breath. “He came to in the ambulance but then he had a seizure.”

Brian saw Jennifer’s panic. “Jenn, he came out of it quickly and I spoke to him.  He seemed to be doing well. They said the head injury that caused the bleeding was minor.  They just don’t know what is causing all this in the first place. As soon as he is settled we can go see him.”

“How are you doing, Brian?” Brian just shook his head as he started crying again.

After the ambulance had left Peter stood their with an arm around Gus and glared at his mother. He bent down and softly said to Gus, “Why you don’t go check on Brinn and Becca.  I will be in very soon. Alice who had been standing there put an arm around Gus and they walked in. Loudly, he said to the guests, “May I have your attention. Please, I ask that no one tell John and Tony this happened.  Please let them have their time they so deserve.” He hoped everyone went along with that.

Peter then turned and stared at Claire.  “Is that what you wanted, Mom, to possibly destroy our happy family because you can’t seem to figure life out? Just leave! Don’t come back. Don’t contact me. Don’t call me. If I ever have to look at your face again …..”

Becca appeared at his side.  “Peter, it isn’t worth it. The kids need you.  Please, come with me.” She kissed his cheek and hugged him tight.  “Come on, Peter.”

“Go home, Mother, and pray that Justin makes it because if he doesn’t neither will you.  Uncle Brian will kill you.” He turned and walked away.

Becca glanced over her shoulder and saw Claire slink off. The tone of Peter’s voice sent chills through her.  Claire had to have felt that. As soon as she was in the house she separated from Peter for a minute. She picked up the house phone and called 911 and reported an intoxicated driver and described the car. She hung up and went back to Peter’s side.  Blake and Ted’s son started fussing a bit and she picked him up. She found a bottle in the diaper bag and, after mixing it, sat in the rocker and fed the little boy. That was the moment Peter knew he was going to marry this woman. She had self- confidence and an easy going manner that he had never had in his life.  He didn’t care how long it took. She would be his some day.

Angi and Gus walked in from another room holding hands.  Gus immediately said, “ We aren’t doing anything. Have you heard anything?”  Everyone shook their heads.

Alice walked to the phone.  “I am going to see if I can learn something.” Angi and Gus sat on the sectional next to Peter who was now holding Brinn. She reached for Gus and he took his little sister onto his lap.

Peter looked over at Angi, “I need to ask a big favor of you, Angi.  It might feel like a lie but it really isn’t.”

“What is it?”

“Angi, you want John and Tony to have a happy honeymoon, don’t you?”

“Of course, I do.”

“Do you think they will want to leave if they know about Justin?”

“No, they won’t.”

“So please, don’t tell them. If you need to tell them anything and don’t want to lie just tell them Justin is seeing a doctor for a headache but I don’t think they will ask anything.  Once tests come back we will call them and you and let you know he will be fine.” He smiled at Angi and Gus trying to relieve the strain.

“I understand. I’ll try. I promise.”

“Sweety,” Peter put his arm around her, “I know this is a big thing to ask from you. If they ask you hard questions just have them call me, Ok?”

“Ok,  I can do that.” Peter squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, Angelica.” Peter noticed Gus looking at him.  “Gus she’s pretty but I have my eye on someone else.”

Gus smiled a bit but then his lip started quivering.  He was trying to be so brave.

Alice walked over but just shrugged.  “They are saying nothing.”

Just as she said that there was a tap on the back door and Ted and Blake walked in.  “I hope it was time for his bottle because he seemed hungry. He just fell asleep.” Becca said as she stood.  “He is a sweetheart.”

“Ted, what can you tell us?”  Alice was not mincing words.

“Justin is awake and talking.  They are setting him up for a bunch of tests.  Jennifer arrived or we wouldn’t have left. We figured we needed to get over her and pick our son.”

“Thanks, guys, for following the ambulance.  You didn’t happen to see a police car with someone pulled over did you?”

“Actually we did.  I thought it was a car I had seen here,” Blake said.

“Maybe my mom will get some help now.”

They all said goodbye. Emmett had left earlier for another event that evening and Ted said he would talk to him.  Alice insisted that everyone eat a little bit and she took Brinn. She would have Brinn sleep in her room with her. Gus and Angi went to their own rooms. Peter looked at Becca.  I think Gus needs to talk a little. Will you wait for me down here?” Becca nodded.

Peter talked to Gus for several minutes.  He could tell how scared the boy was. “Hey, Gus, I really don’t want to sleep in that house by myself.  Do you mind if I bunk in with you tonight?”

Gus looked at him, “Peter, you don’t have to.  You can sleep with Becca.”

“Actually as much as I would love to, Becca and I aren’t at that point in our relationship yet.”

“Thanks, Peter. I would like that.”

“I’ll be back in about half an hour.  You can watch TV until I get back, Ok?”

Gus nodded and breathed a sigh of relief.

Becca was sitting on the sectional when Peter walked in.  He sat down next to her and took her in his arms. He kissed her long and soft until she increased the pressure and the need. She moved, straddling him where he sat. Her kiss was saying more than anything she had ever said.

“Whoa, Becca.  I can’t believe I am saying this but I don’t think tonight is the ideal time for us to do what I think you are asking.” He took  her face in his hands and added so much depth to the kiss Becca began to moan. He laid her down and sat on his knees on the floor next to her.  He slipped his hand under her skirt and felt her heat as he cupped her crotch and began stroking her through a thin layer of material until he felt them turn damp  As he stroked he found a spot that made her react with a moan and arch. He continued rubbing and soon she shuttered and pulled him to her. He whispered in her ear.  “Soon, my love, we will do it right but the time and place need to be perfect for your first time.” He glanced at his watch. “I promised Gus I would stay in his room tonight so I better get going.”  

Ascending the steps together, Peter stopped in front of her door. “Becca, I do love you.”  He kissed her but didn’t wait for her to respond. He left her standing flushed and in love.

Tony and John arrived at the B & B.  They had the entire place to themselves.  They had treated Mary and Jim to a couple nights at a local hotel so they could be alone.  Emmett had left plenty of food for them to spend the next 36 hours there until it was time to pick up Angelina and go to the airport.  As they walked in the back door they embraced and kissed. There was no rush. All there was in the world was each other. Tony grabbed two bottles of water out of the refrigerator and went up to christen the honeymoon suite.

They drank some water and both laid on the bed. They faced each other and their lips met.  “I am trying to realize we are actually married.” John said this as he pulled Tony as close as possible.  “I really am not sure why we are lying here with all this clothes on.” They stood and both started removing clothing like mirror images. As they were dropping their vests on chairs, they heard an ambulance fly by.  “Wonder what happened?” Tony said offhandedly as they dropped their shirts on top of the vests. Ambulances didn’t travel this road often. Next they both dropped their trousers and briefs. They then met again in the middle of the bed.  As they stood on their knees they continued the mirror image of touching each other, feeling each other, tasting each other. Finally, John laid Tony down and pressed his body into Tony’s.

“I want to stay like this forever. I want you and me with nothing to separate us for the rest of our lives.” He turned Tony over and entered him.  “I will love you until the end of time.”

Jennifer and Brian walked into Justin’s room.  He was sitting up in bed and the color was back in his cheeks. Brian dropped onto the bed next to Justin. “You scared the hell out me.  Don’t do it again.” He smiled at Justin but as he looked over his shoulder Jennifer saw the fear in Brian’s eyes.

“Hi Honey, I am glad to see you looking good. I hear you have been trying to be the tough guy and not telling anyone you are feeling like crap.”

Brian felt the slightest tremble starting.  “Jenn, could you have the nurse get the doctor here right now.”  As he said it Justin’s body began spasming. Jenn ran out and Brian kept talking quietly to Justin as his muscles tensed a trembled.” A nurse ran in with a doctor right behind.

The doctor started checking vitals while the nurse went and grabbed the medication requested. “Has he had many of these?”  He looked at Brian.

“He had one like this in the ambulance.  Before that he had some blackouts, zoning out, lose of time.  All in the last month or so. He kept it from me for quite a while.”

After an injection into his intravenous tube, Justin slowly  calmed. Brian pulled him close. “Can I talk to you outside?” the doctor asked. “He will sleep for a while.  Seizures take a lot out of a body.” Brian got off the bed and Jenn came to hold Justin’s hand. In the hall the doctor looked at Brian. “You are his husband, right?”

“Yes, is that a problem?”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I happen to have a husband of my own.” He placed a hand on Brian’s shoulder.  “I am going to get the tests set priority for this evening yet. Overnight, if need be. I was reading his file when the nurse got me.  I saw the notes about his previous injury. If I had to guess, scarring is the cause. We need to see in there but seizures like that can do damage, permanent damage, and we need to get them stopped.  These notes make it sound like you were with him at the time of the initial injury.”

“I was.  It wouldn’t stop bleeding that time. I could feel the skull was cracked under my hands.  He had to fight so hard to come back. Now we have two amazing kids…. Nothing can happen to him.”

“Well, I will do my best but just realize he isn’t going to be back to normal the day after brain surgery, if we find out that is what it is going to take. The meds will make him sleep, just realize that.  He may not be awake much at all.”

“Well, I plan to be there every minute he is awake.”

Brian walked back into the room. “Jenn, why don’t you go home. The doctor said he will sleep most of the time and they plan to do tests throughout the night.  Go home and get some sleep.”

‘I suppose it wouldn’t help to tell you to eat something.”

Brian put an arm around Jenn, “I’ll be fine.  I couldn’t eat anything. Goodnight, Mom.” Brian winked at her and kissed her cheek.  “I will call if I learn anything.”

Throughout the night Justin was in and out of the room having tests done. Just before dawn Justin was back in the room and Brian laid next to him, holding him close.  They said it would be a couple hours before all the results were in so Brian just held him as Justin slept. “I love you, Sunshine, and we all need you.” Brian dozed.

At dawn, a nurse touched Brian’s shoulder.  “Brian, the doctor wants to talk to you. Follow me, please,” a nurse guided Brian out.

Brian walked into a consultation room where some scans were visible on the wall. “Sorry to wake you, Brian, but we need to talk.” Brian dropped into a chair. “It appears there is a build up of scar tissue pressing against his brain.  I think when he fell the first time his brain, moved enough to bruise because of the scarring. I think that is what is causing the seizures. We have two options. We can wait and see if the swelling goes down and see if the seizures stop on their own but that won’t clear up the issue that caused the falls in the first place.”

“So what needs to be done?”  

“I think the best bet is surgery.  We would remove a very small part of the skull so we can remove the scar tissue but there is always risk when we have to open the skull.  Brian, I can’t tell you it won’t be risky but doing nothing is risky, too. I am going to consult with another surgeon as soon as she gets in which should be anytime.  I just wanted to spell out some of the options in case you wanted to talk to someone about it.”

He walked out leaving Brian sit there.  Brian pulled out his phone. He wanted to talk to John.  No, he couldn’t call John. He hadn’t realized how much he counted on his nephew. He was such a great boy.  No, he was a married man now. He took out his phone and called Alice.

“Just a second, Brian.”  Alice slipped out of bed and went out of the room so she didn’t wake up Brinn. “Sorry, Brinn is sleeping in my room and I didn’t want to wake her.  Do you have news?”

“Alice, they want to cut into his skull.  He is getting a second opinion now. They said it could wait and see if it improves but….”

“Brian, call Jenn to come in and I am on my way.”

“But the kids?”

“Becca and Peter can handle them. I am on my way.”

Brian texted Jennifer.  She responded immediately and said she would be there as quickly as she could.

Brian went back into the room and laid next to Justin, pulling him as close as he could.

Justin’s eyes fluttered open. “Hey, Baby,” Justin said softly.

Brian bent down and kissed him. “Hello, Beautiful.”

“Tell me the truth, Brian.  What’s wrong? Can they do something?”

“Sunshine, they may need to do surgery.”

“Brian, I know you will choose the best thing because you are doing it for a part of yourself.  I trust you, darling. Kiss me?”

Brian kissed the love of his life.  This was his life. And Justin slept.

Brian must have slept because when he woke up Alice and Jennifer were talking very quietly in the corner of the room. Moving slowly, Brian got out of bed and waved them out the door.

Brian rubbed his eyes in the light of the hallway.  “Has the doctor been back?”

“When I arrived a few minutes ago the nurse told me they were meeting right now,” Jenn said as she ran her hand through Brian’s hair and kissed his cheek.  She loved this man. He made her son’s life what it was. He made her son happy.

Brian put his arm around Jennifer, knowing what she was going through.  “Alice, how are the kids?”

“They are fine.  Don’t worry about them.  Gus called his moms last night.  I think he will go stay with them after Angi leaves tonight.”

“Oh, god, Angi knows about Justin!  What if….”

“Peter talked to her and she isn’t going to say anything unless they ask her directly. She understands it would ruin the honeymoon.” Alice said before Brian finished his thought.

“I’m glad.  They need their time.”

The doctor came up to the small group.  “Let’s go to the consultation room so we can lay out the options. The specialist is waiting for us.”

The specialist, Dr. Singh, introduced herself.  She went on to explain the steps she felt were the best treatment plans.  It would include surgery. They would remove a small piece of his skull to expose the scar tissue.  The skull would be put back in place, held in place with something like staples, and then close the skin.  

“And,” Brian spoke, “The risks and other options?”  

“The first thing we need to do is let the swelling go down a bit before anything and the best way to do that is to keep him quiet like we are now.  I think….it’s Sunday today…..I will set the surgery for Wednesday unless something else shows up. The swelling causing the seizures should be under control by then.  His brain will swell again after the surgery but then when it goes down hopefully his headaches and blackouts will be gone.”

“What about his hand? His whole side?  Will he have problems again?” Brian needed to know.  It didn’t matter but he had to prepare.

“We can’t know any of that until it is done and he comes out of it.  We will probably keep him awake during the surgery so we can see how he reacts.  That will help.”

“You’re going to what?”  Brian raised his voice.

Alice put her hand on his arm. “Brian, that is normal. That way as they work they can see what may be effected. I’m not a doctor but this is what I thought they would suggest.”

The doctors excused themselves so Brian, Jenn, and Alice could talk.  Alice looked at them both, “I am not family and have no say here but what was said made sense from a medical point of view.  You could just have the swelling go down and then see how he reacts but the scarring isn’t going away without surgery and if Justin has any chance of returning to normal he is going to want it.”

Jenn was not saying anything, “Tucker and I discussed a lot of things last night and I realized I am his mom but, Brian, this isn’t my decision.  It is between the two of you. You love him as much as I do and he loves you and trusts you more than any other human.” Jenn felt a tear roll down her cheek.  He is so lucky to know what real love is.

Brian needed to talk to Justin.  He needed to touch him, hold him. He left the women in the room and walked back to Justin’s room. Brian hoped he would be coherent enough to talk sometime soon. Brian half sat half laid next to Justin.  His phone rang as he got comfortable. He looked at the phone and saw it was the house number. “Hello?”

“Dad?” Gus’ voice came across the connection.

“Good morning, Son.”

“How is Daddy?”

“He is sleeping right now.  They are giving him medicine to keep him sleeping most of the time. This should help his brain heal. How are you doing?  What are your plans with Angi for your last day together?”

“If Alice is coming home soon, Peter and Becca are taking us to Kennywood.  If not we will just stay home. Oh, my moms are picking me up tomorrow and I will stay with them until Justin is better.”

“Are you Ok with that?”

“Ya, they have gotten a lot better.  I will stay there for now.” Gus was quiet.

“Gus, I love you Sunny boy,” Brian said.  Give your sister a hug and kiss for me.

“I will.”

Justin reached up and took the phone from Brian.  “Hi Gussy,” Justin’s voice was quiet and scratchy. “I love you, Gus.  Don’t worry about me. Have fun with Angelica.”

“I love you, Daddy.”  Gus’ voice cracked and then he was gone.

Brian took the phone and pulled Justin close. “I know I was out of it last night but how many tests did they do?”

Brian kissed him, as he was moving back Justin pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. When they separated Justin said, “That is the best medicine. So I am guessing you just got back from talking about all those tests.  Tell me the truth. I need to know.”

“Your old injury has a scar that continued to grow and is now causing pressure.”

“And the seizures?”

“When you fell down your brain took a bit of a jolt and it swelled.  The swelling should go down in the next couple days.” Brian kept tightening his hold on Justin.

“What aren’t you telling me?  If you hold on any tighter I won’t be able to breath, Sweetheart.”

Brian loosened up a bit and said, “They want to do surgery to reduce the scar tissue. It is your decision, Sunshine.  They said the seizures would stop but….”

“I could still pass out at any time and injure myself or worse yet injure one of the kids.”

“That’s about it,” Brian said.

“There is no question. When can they do it?”

“Justin, we are talking brain surgery. If something would go wrong…”

“Brian, what happens happens.  If I have a chance of getting back to normal, I will take it.”  He kissed Brian. “Darling, I love you and I plan to be making love with you for a lifetime yet.”

Brian’s mind wandered.  Justin was right. The question was how long would the life be? He kissed Justin again. “I love you, Sunshine.”

Justin slowly shut his eyes again and slept.

Brian couldn’t be next to him as he slept any longer.  He sat in a corner of the room. He texted Cynthia and asked her to send his laptop over to the hospital.  He needed to work.

Tony rolled over and ached everywhere.  Oh, but what an amazing feeling it was. He was fairly sure every public room in the B & B  had been christened. He was glad the dining room table couldn’t talk and that they hadn’t put in the CCTV cameras yet. John had become so willing to accept as well as give.  As he moved he remembered how many times John had given and decided it probably John would be feeling the same way this morning. No, it wasn’t morning it was mid afternoon. They had taken time to eat and sleep but mostly they made love.

John stretched and groaned simultaneously. Tony slid down John’s naked body and took him in his mouth and soon John again was spent.  

“I knew you had a healthy sexual appetite but I never you were insaciable! I have to be the luckiest man in the world.  What do you say we try out the in suite jacuzzi tub Brian had put in this suite. It is big enough for two. Then it will be time for dinner and to get ready to pick up your, our sister for the airport.”

“It will be good to see my parents, especially my dad.  I have worried about him and my mother. I am sure they are happy Angelica will be home again.  And although she will miss us, she will be glad to be with her friends again.” John had slipped into the water and Tony had plenty of room in front of him to sit.  John took a bar of soap and began making circles on Tony’s chest letting his other fingers dance across the bubbles. Soon Tony’s head dropped back and when John began to stroke his nipples he lost it. He got on all fours in the tub and John accepted the offer and entered him once again. He dug his fingertips into Tony’s hips as they met over and over again. They finally were again laying quietly in the bubbling water.

“Tony, have I mentioned how much I love you lately?”

“Well, I am sure it has been at least 30 minutes so I am glad to hear it again.”

Alice had spent the day with Brinn and Jenn was picking her up later to take her for a couple days.  By 2:00 pm Brinn roamed around the downstairs, “Daddy!” She looked up the stairs. She walked to the office, “Dad?” She looked in the office. After calling out and looking in a couple more spots she started again, “Johnjohn.”  She walked around looking for John. She finally walked over to Alice and looked up at her, raising her hands. She picked up the little girl who laid her head on Alice shoulder and sobbed, “Daddy.”

Alice made a call.  “Jennifer, let’s meet at the hospital.  Brinn needs to see her daddies. I have never seen her more heartbroken. Does 4:30 pm or 5:00 pm work for you?”

Jenn heard the soft sobs of Brinn near the phone.  “Oh, our poor little one. Yes, I will be there by 5:00 pm.”

Alice knew what was most important.  She sat and rocked the little girl and sang softly to her until she was asleep.

After her nap, Alice asked Brinn if she would like to go see her daddies. “Oh, pleeeeeeeeese!” was her response. Alice had to smile at this precious child. She may be a bit over indulged but she was so loving and so sweet most of the time. Hopefully this little visit will help.  Gus would probably also have a hard time for a few days but he would be at his moms’ house.

“Let’s get you all pretty for  your daddies. Let’s wash your face and find a dress.” Brinn cooperated  more so than normal. At 4:15 they were in a vehicle on the way to see her daddies.  Alice debated calling or texting but she had a feeling Brian would try to stop the visit and Justin needed it. As they arrived she called up to Brian. “Why don’t you come down and meet me at the car? I bet you haven’t left the floor of the hospital all day.”

“Sorry, I am in the middle of something. Just come up. Did you bring me a change of clothes?” He hung up before she answered.  Yes, he needs his daughter.

Alice walked into the room carrying Brinn.  The little girl saw Brian first and before Alice could get her to the ground her feet were in motion. “Daaaddddyyyy.”

For a split second Brian scowled, but as the little girl hurled herself across the room, Brian dropped to his knees and Brinn’s little arms encircled his neck so tightly he had to work at breathing.  “Oooohhhh Daddy.” She kissed him all over his face and Alice was sure she saw a tear on his cheek. Just what he needed, she thought. “Where Daddy?”

“I’m up here, Baby Girl.” Brian stood up and carried her over.

“Daddy booboo.” she said in a concerned voice as Brian set her down.

“I am so glad to see you, Beautiful. I have missed you.”

Brinn laid across Justin’s chest. “My daddy.”

Alice spoke quietly.  “I had to bring her. She was beside herself. When she couldn’t find either of you she started crying for John.  I needed to bring her.”

“I’m glad you did, Alice.” Justin sent a small smile her way.  “I needed this.”

A nurse walked in.  “I’m sorry but this little one can only be in her a couple more minutes.  She really shouldn’t be here at all but I think medicine comes in many forms.”  She stepped back out.

“Give me a hug, Sweetie, and then make your daddy take you for a walk.  He needs a little exercise.” Brinn gave him a big hug and a kiss.

“No, go. No, go.”

“Your dad can get you a treat.  I will see you tomorrow, Baby.” Justin said.

Brian took Brinn from Justin. “Alice why don’t you….”

“Why don’t you listen to your husband and take your daughter for a walk. And yes I brought you clothes.  You look like you could use a shower.”

Brian scowled at Alice but walked out the door. Brinn clung to Brian’s neck giving him kisses. “Daddy,” Brinn said, with such love Brian had to swallow hard.

“Oh, Brinny, I love you. I really did need to see you today.”

Brinn ‘talked’ to her dad for the next five minutes. She ate the M & Ms her dad bought her and shared them with him. Brian looked up and saw Jennifer coming down the hall.  Brinn would normally run to her grandma but she clung to her dad.

“Hi, Jenn. Why don’t you go say hi to Justin and I will try and get her ready to go home with you.”  

Jennifer walked over and kissed Brinn and Brian on the head before stepping into Justin’s room.  He was sleeping and it didn’t look like he would wake up anytime soon. She sat there for a few minutes but then went out to take Brinn home.

When she walked out she heard Brinn. “No, go Daddy.  No, go. Come, Daddy.”

“Oh, Brinn. Your grandma and Tuck have fun things planned for you.  You love your grandma.”

Brinn nodded but pointed to Justin’s room, “My daddy.” and tears rolled down her cheeks.

Brian pulled her close once more. “I know, Sweetie.  I want him well too.” He handed her to Jenn and went back in the room. He could hear Brinn’s cry get softer as Jenn carried her out of the hospital.

Alice handed Brian a duffle. “I will wait until you get back. Take a breather, Brian. You need it.”

Twenty minutes later Brian was back.  His hair was still wet but he was clean and in fresh clothes. “Go home, Alice.  The kids will need you. Angelica is leaving. Go to the kids. Tell Peter to stay home tonight.  They can come tomorrow.” Brian nearly pushed Alice out the door.

Alice turned to look at him.  “Don’t say anything, Alice, please.  Thank you for everything. I don’t know what we’d do….”  He shut the door. Brian looked over at Justin who was sound asleep. He sat down at the table in the corner and worked. After a couple hours Brian was just staring at Justin. He wanted to switch places.  He wanted him. Well after midnight Brian laid down next to him again and held him.

It was nearly 9:00 pm by the time Peter and Becca made it home with Angi and Gus.  Angi showered and put clothes on for the trip home. Gus showered and pulled on shorts and a T Shirt.  Peter and Becca had helped Angi pack and brought everything up to the main house. They had to get Tony and John out with Angi before they could ask too many questions about Brian and Justin.  At midnight Tony and John pulled up in the ‘Vette with a towncar close behind. As Peter and Becca carried Angi’s stuff, Gus and Angi were saying goodbye.

“I will miss you Gus. I hope to see you again soon.” Tears began to fall and Gus tried not to cry.

Gus sniffed, “Bye, Angelica.  I know we are too young to really love each other but “I love you.”

He hugged her and gave her a kiss.  He then turned and ran up the stairs.

Angi walked out and Becca and Peter gave her a hug.  Becca wiped her tears away. “It’s Ok to cry over a first love.”  

Tony and John were sorry the missed Justin, Brian and Brinn but understand it wasn’t the best time of the day for a 20 month old.  

The town car drove away and Becca and Peter looked at each other.  “I feel so guilty, Becca. I feel like I should have told John but I know this is for the best.” They kissed and Peter took a couple steps toward the guest house.

“Peter, will you sleep with me tonight. And I do mean sleep.  I am so tired and….I want you with me.” Peter followed her into the house and into her bed. They quickly fell asleep side by side sharing comfort and fears.  

Brian woke up dreaming Justin was touching him, loving him but…. He opened his eyes and Justin’s blue eyes were looking up at him while his hand was inside Brian’s pants. His fingers were wrapped around his hardening dick.  “Oh, Sunshine…” Brian’s mouth caught Justin’s as his tongue searched between Justin’s lips.

Brian pulled away.  “No we can’t, Justin.”  Brian climbed out of the bed.  “You have to stay calm. The doctor said so.”

“But I miss you.  I need you. I…”

“No, Justin.  It isn’t safe. I can’t…” He kissed Justin once more.  “I’ll sleep in the chair.”

In the morning, the doctor made rounds.  “Brian, I am glad you are here. We are going to start backing off on the medication.  Justin, are you awake?”

“Yes, Dr. Singh.  I would prefer to be awake more.”

“Good, but you have to be honest if you feel like you will seizure again.  We need to know that, Justin.”

“Ok, but…”

“I don’t plan to leave this room.  I will tell you if I see anything.”

“Ok, I will give instructions to start lowering the dose.”

“Dr. Singh?”  Justin called him back.

“Yes,Justin.”

“Never mind.  I think I need to sleep now.”  He closed his eyes and soon was sleeping.

Brian stepped out the door with the doctor. “I think I know what Justin was going to ask.  He wanted to make love this morning. I made him stop but he really…… I won’t get in bed with him again. But you don’t know my husband.  If he has it in his head he won’t stop.”

“I wouldn’t suggest it, Brian.  Extra pressure of any kind could cause swelling again.”  

“I tried telling him that.”  Brian’s mind went from needing to touch him to breath to knowing he couldn’t go near the bed.

Angelica slept leaning against the window most of the way across the Atlantic.  The day at the amusement park was just what she needed to wear her out. Tony and John shared a blanket and slept off and on as hands explored as well as mouths.  Angelica startled awake when they were on the approach in Milan. “NO! Justin.” She had dreamt that Justin had died.

Tony put his arms around her.”Angel, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, I just had a dream.  Justin was just ….yelling at Gus. It was just a dream. I am sorry I made a scene.”

The plane landed and as soon as they turned their phones on both of them got several message.  They looked at each other. “This is really strange. Our friends know we are out of the country.”  Both of them started reading through them. At a glance, John saw they were all about Justin. Everyone was asking how he was.  “Are yours about Justin, Tony?”

“Yes, they are all asking how he is or how his head is.” Tony then looked at his sister, “Angel, you weren’t just having a dream were you?”

She slowly shook her head.  “They made me promise not to tell you unless you asked.  I am sorry. I am so worried for Gus’ papa.”

John bent down and took both her arms gently.  “Angi, what happened to Justin? When did it happen?

They found an area to sit in and Angelica started speaking in rapid Italian.  When she finished she held onto her brother. Tony looked very worried over at John.  “The ambulance we heard at the B & B was Justin. He collapsed while interacting with your mother but if Angel has it correct, Justin had been hiding a problem from everyone because of our wedding.”

“I need to call Peter now.  I don’t give a damn what time it is there.”

Peter’s groggy voice answered as he pulled Becca closely against him, “Hello? John? You couldn’t wait to tell me you landed until a more godly hour.

“Glad you made it, John.”

“Is that Becca’s voice? In your bed,”  John shook his head, “That I want to hear about, but right now what the hell is going on with Justin?”

“Angi?”

“No, texts. As soon as we landed our phones blew up. Now what is wrong with Justin?”

“He is going to have surgery Wednesday.”

“What kind of surgery?”

“They are opening his skull and working on his brain.”

“Oh, god, Brian.  How is Uncle Brian? And Gus? And my Brinny? I have to come home.”

John looked over and saw that Tony was gone.  “Peter, I will call you back in a little while.  I need to figure out what to do.”

“Angi, where did Tony go?”

“I don’t know. He walked that way.” She pointed toward the departure desks.

John saw Tony talking to a clerk at one of the desks.  He waited until Tony came back. “Mi, Amore,” Tony kissed John, “Here is your Itinerary.  The flights were full today. We will be back tomorrow afternoon getting you home on Wednesday morning. Now, let’s go see my papa for a short visit.  I will be home in a week or so once I am sure my parents are fine.”

John pulled his husband into his arms.  “Thank you! Thank you for understanding. I love you so much.” They kissed until Angelica poked them.   When they separated they had quite an audience

Peter set down his phone. He pulled Becca in his arms and kissed her deeply.  His hands went under her over-sized T shirt and pulled it off. With a feather light touch his fingers floated across her chest. He claimed one of her nipples with his mouth while his fingers played with the other one.  Moving his mouth to hers his hands tugged at her panties. As they moved down so did his mouth.

His tongue danced in her belly button and then went lower still.  Soon he found the sweetness he was looking for. His tongue and lips teased and taunted her as the pressure grew inside.  As his mouth encircled her clit he inserted his fingers and stroked. Becca arched her back and she cried out as Peter removed his hand but continued licking her gently until she calmed down.  

Peter came back up and laid next to her. She put her head on his chest as he stroked her back. ”Soon,  Becca, I will make you mine. No, that’s not what I meant. I would never want to own you.”

“Peter, you already have my heart.”  She kissed him

“I have to get out of here or…” Before he could move Becca slid down and took Peter in her mouth. Her tongue and mouth swirled around him  Now it was Peter’s turn to arch and then he spasmed as Becca took what he offered.

Peter kissed her once more and after pulling on shorts, he was gone.

Brian spent his time  working in Justin’s room but by Monday evening Justin was awake for longer stretches and so far no seizure.  Brian spent most of his time working but as evening had come and Justin was awake he sat in a chair next to his bed.  “Brian, sleep with me. I need you next to me.”

“I am right here, Sunshine. I am not moving from this chair.”

“Hasn’t anyone stopped by?”  

Brian caressed his cheek.  “Only family is allowed.”

“But, you could leave the room and visit with them.” Justin held Brian’s hand and kissed it. He was craving Brian’s touch.

“I’m not leaving your side, Sunshine.”

“But you have left my side. I want you here with me.”

Brian sighed as Justin moved over so there was room for him.  “I can’t, I just can’t. I’m sorry but I’m not strong enough. I can’t trust myself.”

“That’s what I love about you, Brian.”  He reached up and Brian had to meet him.  As their lips met a jolt went through him and Brian quickly stepped away.  

“The doctor said it was dangerous for us to….”

Brian remained in the chair next to the bed.  He had spoken to Peter and found out everyone had arrived in Italy safely.  He and Becca had stopped by but were told they couldn’t see Justin. Brian said he would make sure tomorrow they could talk to him.  Gus was stopping by as well as Brinn and Jenn on Tuesday. Hopefully Justin had a good day and could handle several short visits. It would be a hard day on everyone with the uncertain outcome.  Brian and Justin had talked to Brinn. They could hear her tears and it tore them both apart. Alice would take her home tomorrow after a short visit with her daddies.

Peter had talked to John and found out he would arrive early on Wednesday and would come straight to the hospital.  He knew Brian loved him but John and Brian had a special bond and he just couldn’t comfort him the way he needed.

As Justin slept Brian paced.  He couldn’t sleep. He kept playing tomorrow over and over in his head and for someone who had trouble dealing with emotions, he would be on overload.  He really couldn’t do this, not with everyone that was going to come through that door. Brian finally went in search of something to drink. He had been drinking water all day.  He really wished he had a bottle of Jim Beam. He texted Peter to bring some whenever he came.

“Brian, is there something I can get for you?”  The night nurse asked.

“Do you have a bottle of Beam back there?”

“Sorry,” She smiled at him.  “Wait here a minute.” She said something to the aid at the desk and left.  Five minutes later she came with a paper cup filled with amber liquid. “I can’t promise the quality.  We have a maintenance worker who has a bit of a problem. When I explained the situation he was very willing to share.  

Brian took a big swallow. It was terrible and burned all the way down.  He had never needed something so badly. He thanked the nurse and went back to Justin’s room sipping his find.  Somewhere in the middle of the night the door opened a crack and a bottle slid in. By the time Brian got to the door he could see no one but took the gift with much thanks.

Brian finally passed out in the chair about the time the nurse came to check on Justin.  Justin reached for Brian’s hand. Brian took it and brought it to his lips. He needed Justin so badly.  

Once the nurse left, Justin looked over at Brian.  “You’re drunk or hungover.”

“Probably both right now.”

Justin drew him closer and brought Brian’s hand under the blanket, placing Brian’s hand on top of his rising dick. He softly said, “Baby, I need you.  The worst pain I feel is needing you. I can deal with a headache.”

Brian kissed him and removed his hand.  “Sunshine, the doctor said it was too dangerous.  I asked, darling.” He stepped away from the bed. “I love you too much to risk your life over sex.”

Peter and Becca showed up mid morning.  They walked in and Peter through a bag at Brian.  “Go clean up. You look like hell.” As Brian walked past he Peter hugged him. “Love you, Uncle Brian.”

“Love you, too, Pete.”  Brian kissed Becca on the cheek as he walked past.  “Thanks for helping out, Becca.”

Peter sat next to the bed and pulled Becca on his lap.

Justin looked at the two and said, “I feel like there has been a bit of a change here.”

Peter pulled her close and she put her arm around his neck.  “We think so, too. Justin, not that it matters really, but Mom was arrested on  a DUI on the way home.”

“I hope she gets the help she needs. It will take a lot to mend fences with you guys but maybe more with Brian.  I am not sure he could do that.”

Becca touches Justin’s arm, “How are you feeling?”

“Physically not too bad. I am scared, more for Brian than for me. Peter, if anything happens, you have to help.  He just isn’t meant to be alone.”

“Justin, I am not going anywhere and I am hoping Becca isn’t either.”

The nurse walked in and said it was time for them to leave. Peter and Becca left as the nurse was checking Justin’s vitals. Brian was walking up to the door as they left. Brian handed the bag back to Peter with his dirty clothes in it.  

“Thanks for the clothes and the fluids.”

“Brian, Justin doesn’t need to worry about your drinking.  Please be reasonable.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he said and then opened the door.

Brian sized the nurse up quickly. He stood back and laughed silently. The nurse was trying really hard to get Justin’s attention but his beautiful husband didn’t even notice the lovely young woman’s attempts.  Before she embarrassed herself further, Brian walked in and the way Justin’s face lit up told the nurse all she needed to know. “Dr. Singh asked me to let you know she will be here probably between 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm.  Let me know if you need anything.

“Hey, Sunshine.” Brian said softly as he kissed him on the forehead.

“God, you smell amazing,” Justin almost groaned as he inhaled.

Brian stepped back quickly.  He had to avoid contact or he would lose control.

As Justin opened his mouth to argue Jennifer walked in with Brian’s life saver, Brinn.

“Oh, my daddy.”  She didn’t know which one to go to first.

“Come here, my baby girl.” Justin reached up and Brinn grabbed hold of him like she would never let go.  

“Oh, my daddy, my daddy, my daddy.”  Brinn laid against Justin’s chest and hugged him tightly. Brinn then made a string of babble that sounded like she was scolding Justin but ended with another hug and kiss.  Justin just held her as tightly as she would let him and looked at his beautiful daughter. A tear rolled down his face as he prayed he would see her again. “Daddy?” She leaned over and wiped his cheek. “Wuv daddy, wuv daddy.” Justin crumbled.

“Brinny, why don’t you come with this dad and we will find some candy?”  Tears had started rolling down her face too. Brian took his daughter out of the room.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jenn sit on the edge of the bed and collect Justin in her arms.

“Mom, you have to promise if something goes wrong, you have to help Brian.  He can’t do this on his own. I sometime wonder if he can hand any of it.” Tears rolled down his face as Jenn held her boy.

“Nothing is going to happen, Justin.  Nothing. Brian has the best doctors doing your surgery. Nothing will go wrong.”

“Mom, you know something could go wrong.  Brinn will need help. He will think he can’t do it but he can with help.” Justin began to panic, “Mom, you have to promise me, please, Mom.”

“Of course, Justin.  I will always be here for your family.  Calm down, Honey. I need them as much I need you.”  They clung to each other.

“I have got to pull it together, Mom. Brian can’t handle this. I have to be strong.”

Brian came back in without Brinn.  “She’s with Gus and Lindsey.” He looked between Justin and Jennifer. He knew they had been crying.  He was afraid there was going to be a lot of that today. He just couldn’t deal with that. He just couldn’t.  “Um, Ted texted. I need to just run into the office and be back in half hour at the most, Ok? He just needs a signature.”

“Brian?” Justin looked at him and knew he just needed to get out of there. And he was gone.

John and Tony took Angelica home. They were thrilled to see Papa looking so good.  Angelica instantly went into help mode assisting her Mama and Papa anyway she could.  They explained that John would be leaving again almost immediately and explained what was wrong from what Peter had filled them in on.  Mama insisted on feeding them and then sending them to bed. John and Tony did not object. In 18 hours John needed to be back at the airport.  They headed to the bathroom and dropped their clothes. They both needed a long hot shower. Before the shower was done they had turned the water to cold to cool off their fevered skin. They dried off and walked to their room with just towels on. Soon the towels were discarded and they were in bed.  They kissed and stroked and when they couldn’t take any more, Tony laid on his back and positioned himself to accept John. John used long, slow strokes as the fire between the built and then sent them over the edge and soon into a deep sleep.

When John and Tony woke they were almost upset they had slept so long.  They only had a few hours before John needed to go back to the airport and make his trip back.  John quickly checked his phone and Peter said a car would be waiting when he landed. “Brian really needs you, Bro.  He’s a mess.”

Brian had been gone for three hours.  The doctor was expected any minutes. Gus had left with Lindz and Brinn went home with Alice.  

“Mom, please go home. Tuck has had to share you with Brinn for a couple days already.  Go home and be with your husband. Please, Mom, just go.” Justin said defeated. “He will show up. He just needed time alone.”

Jenn left not wanting to get Justin agitated.  She walked outside and called Brian. He picked up after the 3rd ring. “Is something wrong?”

“Wrong?  What could be wrong?  Your husband is lying in a hospital bed  waiting for brain surgery and you aren’t there.  In fact he is there alone because he can’t face the fact that you left him there four hours ago and don’t give a damn that he is scared to death.” She knew that wasn’t true but she needed Brian to step up now.

“Jenn….”

“There is no excuse.  Justin needs you to be there when the doctor gets there. I don’t know where you are but get your ass over here. NOW!”

Brian knew she was right.  He was a coward and now he had to go face it. He drained the glass in front of him and left the bar.

When Brian arrived back at Justin’s room Dr. Singh was already there.  “Brian, I’m glad you are here. I want to explain what to expect tomorrow and then in the future.” She reviewed the steps in the morning. Dr. Singh reminded them there would probably be more swelling after the surgery and it would probably take  a couple weeks for the first results to show up and then it could take longer depending on the results.

“You’re trying to tell me there could be rehab again, aren’t you?  What else? Mood swings?” Brian moved to Justin’s side and offered his hand. Justin refused it.

Dr. Singh saw Justin’s reaction and looked at Brian.  “Justin, do you have any questions or anything you want to say?”

“I won’t have the surgery unless Brian makes love with me tonight.  I can’t go through with this unless I know we are one in this and right now we are miles apart.” He turned to look at Brian.  “I can’t do this alone, Sweetheart.”

“Justin, I can’t support that activity. It just makes no sense,” the doctor said.

“Justin, don’t be stupid.” Brian said.

“Stupid?  I’m being stupid?  You are the one who has obviously been drinking yourself into oblivion today.  You are the one who is running.”

Dr. Singh put a hand on Justin’s shoulder.  “Justin you can’t do this. If your brain swells we have to start over.”

Justin looked deep in Brian’s eyes. “I need my husband tonight, and the rest of my life.”

Brian took Justin’s hand this time. He kissed his hand. “Darling, I will be back in a minute.  I promise. I just want to talk to the doctor.” He brought his mouth Justin’s ear. “I promise I will love you.”

Brian walked the doctor out the door. “I am going to make love to my husband tonight. He won’t have the surgery if I don’t. I’m scared doctor.  What should I do, or not do?”

“Make love like he is made of glass and easily broken….because he is.” She began walking away but then turned back. I will send a very light meal for him. “I have never had someone refuse his life over love.” She walked away.

In Italy, John boarded a plane hoping he would make it to the hospital in time to see Justin but at least in time to be with Brian.

Brian walked back into the room.  He dropped to his knees by Justin’s bed.  ‘“I am so sorry. I just couldn’t watch the parade of people come through.  I couldn’t hear Brinn cry as she had to leave without you.” His head dropped to the mattress as he cried.

Justin ran his fingers through Brian’s hair. “Come here, Baby.”  He lightly tugged on Brian’s hair. Brian stood and laid down next to him.

“I shouldn’t have left.  I know I am so weak.”

“You are not weak. You just are trying to process everything. Kiss me, Brian, Kiss me like you love me.”

Brian looked deep into Justin’s eyes and brushed his hair back. His mouth slowly descended on Justin’s and when they met it took all his willpower not to crush him.  He needed this man. He needed him in his life tonight but more importantly for life. Brian moved and positioned Justin so they were facing each other. As their mouths continued to explore, Brian’s hand trailed down Justin’s mostly naked body.  Brian reached down and tugged of Justin’s briefs. Now his hand had access to Justin’’s shapely ass. His fingers explored between his cheeks and began to tease Justin’s pleasure spot.

“What do you want baby.  We need to be gentle and very careful.”

“I want you inside me.  Take your time. I want to feel all of you.”

Brian continued to touch and prod.  His fingers began to invade Justin, softly stroking Justin’s prostate. Justin pressed against Brian’s hand.

“Can you turn to your other side?”

“I have been trying to do that for days.”  Brian swatted Justin’s ass making him groan again.

“When you are back home a smart ass, I will redden that perfect ass.”

“Are you trying to drive me crazy?  God, Brian. I’m supposed to stay calm. Please, take me now.”

Brian pressed inward and Justin’s bud opened under his pressure.  The sound Justin made nearly drove him over immediately. The feel of Justin around him was all he needed.  “I love you, darling. I need you forever.” Brian moved slowly and gently stroking Justin inside and out until a shiver ran through both of them.

Justin sighed and went silent.  Brian was worried until he was sure Justin was just sleeping.  Brian held him close. A nurse slipped in with a tray of dinner but then was gone again.

Somewhere around midnight Justin was kissing Brian again. Softly he said, “Turn over.”  And Justin slipped into Brian. He didn’t have the energy to move after their earlier love making but as he laid there Brian’s muscles worked on him and once more they both climaxed not with shouts and great moves but with the emotion only possible with that one person you were made for.

John made it to NYC on time.  He was devastated when he found out his morning flight was cancelled.  There was nothing that would get him there until after 10:00 am. That was just too late.  He went to the car rental area and got a vehicle. If he drove through the night he should be home around 6:00 am.

Brian slipped out of bed and dressed before they came to prep him for surgery.    He kept thinking about them cutting into Sunshines skull with a saw and he would be awake the whole time. Why did it have to be Justin?  He would gladly take his place. His family could live without him but without Justin they would crumble. As he sat on the chair his head dropped on the bed.

He felt Justin’s hand stroke his head.

“Good Morning, Sweetheart.”

Brian lifted his head and looked at his Sunshine.  He smiled and then stood to kiss him.’

“Brian, I hate to ask you but I obviously can’t shower and I feel, well,  I feel like I made love to my husband and could really use a bath. I think there is a cloth and container for water in the bathroom.  I can call a nurse if you…..”

Brian kissed him.  “It is my pleasure.” He gave Justin one of those smiles that made his heart stop and hurt at the same time.

Brian came back with warm water and a cloth.  He got out the bar of soap they Peter had brought for him and sudsed up the cloth.  He started at Justin’s chest kissing different spots as he worked his way down Justin’s body. He rinsed the cloth and removed the soap and then had him move to his side so he could wash his back and after repeating what he did on the front side a nurse peaked in and smiled as she backed out.  He then took the bar of soap and with his bare hand ran it across Justin’s ass making sure he hit every spot. He then brought the cloth to rinse off the soap. He couldn’t resist kissing each perfect globe. Brian helped Justin adjust to his back again and then began washing Justin’s cock and balls.  This wasn’t sexual but as hard as he tried it had to be sensual. He loved all of this man but he loved the part that made him a man.

“Brian?”

“Yes, Sunshine?”

“Don’t say anything.  Just listen.”

Brian got nervous. “Justin, you don’t have to…”

“Brian, shut up and listen. I know my odds are good even if I have to do rehab but if I don’t make it or end up unable to….”

“Sunshine, don’t…”

“I told you to shut up.  If something happens I just want you to know I believe in you  You will be the amazing father Brinn needs and the support Gus needs.  Mom will help and the rest of the family will be there for you. Don’t forget they rely on you.  They both love you so much. Don’t crawl into a hole or a bottle. Your love and life will go on. It needs to.”

Brian’s face was emotionless.

“Brian, Baby, come here.”  He reached up and Brian laid his head on Justin’s chest.  “I love you so much more than I can say and that means you need to stay strong for me.”

Brian’s body began to shake but he didn’t say a word until he calmed down. He brought his mouth up to Justin’s.  “You are going to come through this better than before. God, I love you so much.”

The next hour was a blur.  Brian was asked to leave as they did some prep.  The family began to arrive. As much as Becca wanted to be there she volunteered to stay home with Brinn.  Peter and Alice arrived first and shortly after Jenn and Tuck showed up. Jenn was allowed in the room for about two minutes but then Justin was taken out of the room.  As Brian gave him a kiss Gus ran up. “What are you doing here?” Brian asked him.

“I had to be here for my dads. I love you Daddy.”  He gave Justin a hug the best he could.

Justin was very sleepy at the moment.  They would wake him back up when they were ready for him to respond but he smiled at Gus.  “I love you, Son.” And Justin was whisked away.

Gus clung to Brian. Brian picked him up as Gus wrapped his arms more tightly around Brian’s neck. Lindsay put her arms around both of them and said to Brian, “He insisted he come and be with his family.”

“Thanks, Lindsay.”  Brian set Gus down and was about to move out of the hallway into the waiting room when John came flying off the elevator.

“Did I miss him?  Oh, shit, I missed him!” John walked up to his uncle.  “I’ll kick your ass for not telling me later.” He opened his arms and Brian stepped into them.  

Brian leaned on his nephew.  “Thanks John. Thank you.”

‘