By the time Tony and John arrived on Monday evening the house was full of excitement.  Gus had been sworn to secrecy and Peter and Becca were not told what the gender of the baby was.  Alice had baked a cake with blue food coloring and frosted it with white frosting. The excitement filled the air.  Even Brinn picked up on the fun and walked around saying, “Party, my party, my John come.”

Becca picked Brinn up and said, “I’m afraid this party isn’t for you, Sweety, but John will be here.”

Peter wrapped his arms around both of them. “I can’t wait until we’re ready for our own.”

Justin was near enough to hear Peter’s comment and looked at Becca hoping she didn’t drop Brinn as the words crushed her. She recovered quickly and smiled at Peter.  She kissed him without saying a word. She passed Brinn to him and went over to help Alice. Peter started throwing Brinn high in the air and her giggles were heard throughout the house. After a while Peter stopped and Brinn pulled on her shirt.“Horsy, my horsy.” Peter dropped to his knees and soon Brinn was  giving orders, “Go horsy, fast.” Peter then started ‘bucking’ making sure one hand was behind her.

Justin slipped his arm around Becca.  “Peter will understand, Becca. He will.”  Becca’s head dropped on Justin’s shoulder and Justin kissed her temple.

“Hey, Justin, are you making the moves on my….”

“My John, my John,” Brinn scrambled off Peter and ran to the door as John and Tony walked in.

John picked up his favorite girl as she kissed him several times. “I think someone missed me.”

“I miss my John.” She tightened her grip around his neck.

“I missed you, too, Munchkin.”

Since everyone was there Alice and Becca started bringing food to the table.  Brinn insisted John sit next to her so Brian moved to the other end of the table.  Justin smiled at him and mouthed the words, ‘I love you’. Everyone enjoyed the meal although it was obvious Tony and John were very anxious to find out about the baby.

When it was time for dessert, Alice insisted Tony and John come and cut the cake.  All the sudden they were both shaking. Tony cut the cake and instantly saw the color of the crumbs. He looked over at John and saw his eyes were glistening. “We’re having a boy?” John looked back and forth from Justin to Brian and they both nodded.  He pulled Tony into his arms and kissed him. “We’re having a boy,” he said softly in his ear.

“My John!” a small angry voice came from the table.

“I am sorry, Miss Thing, but he is mine although I will share once in a while.” Tony smiled at her.  “Would you like a piece of cake?”

“Cake!” Brinn smiled over at John and Tony. Tony set a small piece in front of her. Brinn stuck her finger in the frosting and then popped it in her mouth. “Nummy.” Everyone laughed and they all started eating their cake.  After the meal Tony, John, Justin, and Brian went to the living room and sat down. Peter had sat down to read Brinn a story as Alice and Becca cleaned up. Gus headed to his room to finish the homework he needed done for his return to school in the morning.

Brian poured a drink for each of them and passed them out.

“It isn’t that bad is it?”

Justin smiled over at Tony and John. “It isn’t that bad, no, but it is going to be a bit inconvenient. John, she wants you there for the delivery.  My guess is you want to be there too?”

“I really do.  Tony, I know we both can’t be gone right now so I didn’t want to say anything.”

“John, of course you want to be there and it will be harder for her to mess with us if you are there.” Tony walked over and sat on the arm of John’s chair, “And besides,” He kissed John, “I am not worried.  I know you will come home to me and you will bring our son home.”

“I would love to paint the nursery for you, If I may.”

“Oh, that would be great, Justin.  It will be perfect.”

“Brian knows a little bit about business and I will help in anyway I can too while John is out of town.  You will be ready for your first guests before Christmas.”

“So when do I need to be in Colorado?”

“She said sometime around the 15th. Hopefully, that will mean you are back home by Brinn’s birthday. I can’t believe she is almost two.”  Justin walked over and poured himself another drink and sat down on Brian’s lap. “We keep trying for another one but nothing seems to happen,” they all laughed as Brian got the look that meant he may try right now.

“Nothing happens?” Brian started tickling Justin and Justin tried to pull away.

“Ok, ok, a lot happens. A lot.” Justin tries to get away from Brian’s tormenting fingers but Brian snags him around the waist with one arm.

As Brian and Justin started kissing, Tony and John looked at each other and laughed.  Tony said, “I think that is our cue to go home and do some practicing of our own.” He leaned in and John pulled him onto his lap.  

“Maybe we should stay and get some pointers.”

“Darling, I don’t think we could take any more love than we already have.”  Tony stood and pulled John up with him. “They won’t even know we’ve gone.”

The next couple of weeks Justin spent most of his days at the B & B working on the murel for the baby.  It was a great way to get his hand back in shape. When he needed a break he would roam around the house and see how renovation was going.  The apartment was ready and the rooms for Mary and Jim had been finished. There was still minor changes in some of the rooms but the biggest project was still the kitchen.  There still looked to be a lot of work to do in there. Justin found John sitting in the office one day while Tony had run to the college for a meeting about his final project. John’s shoulders were slumped and he was staring blankly into space.

“Anything I can help with?” Justin touched John on the shoulder.

“I don’t think so.  Truth is I’m just scared. I am not scared for Tony and me.  I know we are good but the new business and a new baby….what was I thinking that I could deal with a baby. I mean a business, with Uncle Brian backing us, it should be fine but a baby is helpless.  He will rely on us for everything. What if….”

“Take a deep breath, John. We are here for you, John.  If it gets too much, you know we will help. If you need Alice to help I am sure she will and when the baby is little Mary will be in heaven rocking him.”

“Justin, Mom wants to help. She wants to be here for the baby. My first thought is I don’t want her near my son but if she has changed… but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable about it either.”

“John, that is totally up to you.  Have you told her about changing your last name?”  He nodded. ‘And what did she say about that?”

“She actually liked the idea.  She never did like our dad, not that she likes anyone much.”

“Are you sure you want her around your son?”

“I wouldn’t let him alone with her but she is a decent cook and as long as we are here….. I just don’t know! I can’t make any more decisions right now.”

Justin hugged John who stood up and held on for a few minutes. “Thanks, Justin.  I know you and Brian will help out. I am just so confused about Mom. I know what a shitty life she had growing up and I really think she loved us, she just didn’t know how.”

“Would you like me to feel Brian out on this? It will be your decision.  Maybe talk to Peter…”

“I have.  Peter has been talking to her a lot.  He thinks she is really trying and wants us all to give her a chance.”

“John, we will support you no matter what you decide but don’t do if it is more stress on you.  Don’t rush into anything. I will talk to Brian and you need to focus on getting ready to go. You leave in a couple days.  That baby is the most important thing right now.”

“You’re right, I will think about it and make a decision when I get back. Thanks, Justin.”

“I better get home before Brian.  He is still being overprotective of me working.  He is not going to be happy when he learns I am going to New York to talk to my agent.  It will only be 24 hours. I think he will survive.”

Justin pulled into the driveway at the same time Brian did. Brian strode over to Justin’s SUV and opened the door. Before Justin could step out, Brian drew Justin into his arms and kissed him long and sweet. “Where are you coming from this late?”

“It’s not late but I was talking to John.  He has a few butterflies about the next couple weeks.  Has Peter mentioned his mom to you lately?”

“Just enough that I know they have been talking.  He thinks she has changed or really wants to. It’s a big house.  Do you think the house is big enough for her to live here with us?”

Justin was shocked Brian even mentioned that. “You are thinking about moving her into the house?”

“Well, her boys feel like they need to help her but neither of them need her in their homes right now.  I was thinking she could stay up in the infamous room that Tina stayed in. I really don’t want to let her stay but she is family and we both know what shit she had to put up with. If it wasn’t for you I would probably be a raging alcoholic by now just like she was.”

“Whatever you think, Brian. And now while we are talking and nobody is here out here, I need to go to New York for a business trip.  I’ll only be gone one night. He just wants to review my paintings and talk about doing a coffee table book. No tours, I promise. Maybe a night or two once the book is done but that would be at least a year from now when Brinn is a year older. “

Brian did not have a happy look on his face.  “Maybe I could…”

“Darling, if you want to come with me I would be thrilled.” Justin’s hand moved between Brian’s legs and began stroking with one hand.  With the other he pulled Brian closer and when their lips met, his hand got busy, again.

“We definitely can go to NYC for a night, just the two of us. We better get in before they come looking for us.”

The next two weeks were a blur of activity.  John flew to Colorado to be with Tina until the baby was born. She wanted him to stay with her but he insisted on staying at a nearby hotel until he got the call. It came at 4:00 a.m.  As he jumped in his rental car he called Tony. His sexy voice answered, “Good morning, lover, you’re calling early.”

“I am on the way to pick Tina up.  Our son is on his way.”

“I will be on the first flight I can get on.” He was already out of the bed and throwing clothes in a bag. He called Brian and Justin. “The baby is on his way.  I am going to try to get a flight…”

“Tony,” Brian replied, “I have a plane on standby at the airport, the little one just down the road.  The pilot will meet you there in an hour. And Tony,”

“Yes, Brian?”

“Congratulations and call us as soon as something happens.  Hopefully, you will not be too late for the birth.”

Justin spoke into the phone, “We love you.  Can’t wait to meet your son.”

John got Tina to the hospital quickly.  Tina walked up and down the halls until the pain got too bad.  Tina refused to have the epidural even though she was screaming out in pain.   John knew Tony was on his way. He needed him so bad. It was 4:00 p.m. before she was ready to push and by then she was exhausted.  John crawled in bed behind her, hoping it would help support her as she pushed. As she began, Tony walked in the door. He rushed over and kissed John deeply and kissed Tina on the cheek. The two men talked her through the contractions and soon Tony stood with his mouth hanging open as Tina, with John’s help, pushed their son’s head out and with the midwife’s guidance the shoulders followed and then the midwife stepped to the side and let Tony catch their son.

John kissed Tina but then moved from behind her to see his son.  As the nurse took him away, they helped Tina through the afterbirth and then went out to the hall to see their son.  It wasn’t long before they let them in to a small room off the nursery so they could bond with their son. John sat down in a rocker and opened his shirt.  They opened the little gown and laid the newborn on John’s chest. John wrapped his arms around his son and held him fast. He then looked up at his husband. “We can do this. I love him so much already.”  

Tony kissed him.  “I do, too, John. We need to choose a name.”

John look at Tony, “I really like Matteo.  He looks like a Matty to me.”

“Then it is settled Matteo John Kinney.”

“Tony, we didn’t talk about….”

“He needs his father’s name.”

“Well, then his name is Matteo John Anthony Kinney.”

With one hand John began opening Tony’s shirt and, standing up, Tony took the chair and John laid their son on Tony’s chest. “I’m going to call Brian and Justin and then check on Tina.  I will be back in about 10 minutes.”

John thought for a minute debating who to call.  The phone rang and Justin answered. “Justin, he is beautiful, my son is so beautiful.  Everything is good.”

“Oh, John, I am so happy for you.  Do you have a name yet?”

“Yes, Matteo John Anthony Kinney. Matty for short.”

“I love that, John.  I will call Brian, leaving off the last name of course.”

“Thanks, Justin.  I will let you know when we are coming home.”

When the call ended, John found Tina in her room.  “How are you, Tina?”

“I’m fine. When are you going to leave?”

“We are talking to the doctor in about half an hour.  As soon as he gives the go ahead we will fly back to Pittsburgh. Did you want to see Matty?”

“No, absolutely not.  I can’t. I will be out of here in the morning.”

“Do you have somewhere to go?  Someone to help for a couple of days?”

“Yes, John, I do. Now please leave me alone and don’t come back.  Not now. Someday…” Tina turned her back to him.

John started to say something but thought better of it.  He went back and found his family. After talking with the doctor, they scheduled the trip home tomorrow.  As they left the hospital to get a few hours of sleep, they called Brian, hoping to talk to Justin, too.

“Congratulations, Dad.” Brian answered the phone. “How is he and Tina?”

“Tina is fine, so is Matty.  Are you ready to meet him tomorrow?”

Now Justin’s voice popped in.  “Tomorrow? I can’t wait to meet him and to see you.”

“Uncle Brian, the pilot said he would let you know or landing time once he has the flight plan.  We can’t wait for you to meet him.”

The  timing of the birth couldn’t be better.   Tomorrow was Saturday. Thanksgiving was Thursday which they were going to pair up with Brinn’s birthday party.  As Justin picked up party supplies before the plane arrived, he pictured this happening every year. In two or three years it would have to be a dual theme because no little boy would want a princess party and no little girl wanted  trucks. And there would be the day when they wanted separate parties but they would know they are siblings as well as cousins.

Justin had the back of the SUV full of decorations. He had gotten a combination of fall a little girl things.  He knew how he would put it together but now he was sure it would be about time to go to the airport. Gus came out with Brinn and Brian was right behind him.  The four drove over to the dealer where Brian picked up the new SUV he had purchased for Tony and John. They still had the Stingray but there was no place for a car seat in that and the other car they used was on it’s last leg.  The SUV was perfect for the new business. They could have advertising put on it later. As they followed each other to the airport Justin and Brinn sang ‘The Wheels on the Bus’, while Gus road with Brian in the new car.

“Dad, what is Matty’s last name going to be?”

“I don’t know, Sunny Boy.  I never asked them. What made you think about that?”

“I love my moms but I sometimes wish I had your last name.  Brinn has your last name and, don’t take me wrong but, she is Justin’s daughter….you know what I mean….and I’m your son and I don’t have your name.”

“Well, Gus, you know when you were born I was kind of messed up.  I wasn’t sure how much of a part I would play in your life. I am SO glad I got smarter  and didn’t miss out on your life. When you lived in Canada I visited as much as I could and as soon as you moved back I started seeing you as much as I could.  You remember that part I hope.”

“I do, but that doesn’t change my name.  I want to be a Kinney, too.”

“Gus, you are a Kinney in all the important ways.”

The vehicles stopped in front of the hanger and they got out of them.  They knew it wouldn’t be long but Brinn did not want to just stand around.  “Gus,” Brian asked would you mind letting your sister walk around in the hanger over there? It shouldn’t be too cold out of the wind.”

“I will if you promise not to have sex while you’re waiting.”

“Not funny, Gus.” Brian said.

“Who was being funny. It’s true.  It’s a good thing you are both guys or I would 20 siblings that have your name.”  Gus took Brinn and walked away.

Justin took Brian’s arm.  “What was that all about?”

“He’s a bit upset about not having my last name.  I am not sure what triggered it but on the way over that was our conversation. I kind of wondered if he would ever bring that up.”

Justin wondered if Peter or John had talked to him or if he had overheard them talking.  They may have a bit of a fight on their hands. Justin blocked his eyes from the sun. “I think I see it. The plane is coming,” Justin called to the kids.  Gus put his sister on his shoulders and walked back to his dads. Brian plucked Brinn off Gus’ shoulders and Justin wrapped his arms around Gus. He put his chin on Gus’ head.  “I won’t be able to do this much longer. There will be a day you will pass my height, I am sure.”

The plane touched down and as soon as it came to a stop they walked up to it on the tarmac.  The steps came out and John came down the steps with Tony right behind him. In John’s arms was a little bundle.  As they got to the bottom of the steps Justin and Brian came around. Justin reached for the little boy and John handed him over. Brinn looked up at John and with tears in her eyes she said, “My John.” She reached for him and John took her, pulling her close.  

“Yes, Brinn, you are my best girl but you need to meet my favorite little boy.” Justin took a step closer.  “Brinn, this is Matty. Matty is part of the family now. Matty is going to live with Tony and me but we will come visit a lot and you will visit us at our new house.”

“Kiss Matty,” she leaned over and kissed his cheek.  She then looked at John. “Matty’s Daddy?”

“Yes, Sweetheart.  I am Matty’s daddy but I will always love you, too.  

Tony and Gus picked up the luggage and carried them over to the SUVs. The rest of them followed.  “Whose vehicle is this? Did you get a new one?”

Brian tossed the keys to Tony.  “Your name is on the Registration. Well, actually, it is registered to you as the manager of the B & B.  As the majority owner at this time I decided the business needed a decent vehicle if you have to pick up guests, etc.  Plus your son deserves a safe place to ride and the Stingray doesn’t have room.

John and Tony were speechless.  Tony shook Brian’s hand. “Thank you for the business.  We will pay you back. As men, we will make our way.”

“Tony, I totally expect to get paid back,” Brian didn’t want to step on his pride.  “I expect you to make that business a big success. But Tony, you were thrown into our crazy, mixed up family and all that comes with that and part of what comes with that is me helping you out or bankrolling your adventures.”

“We will do our best.”

“I have no doubt.”

Justin walked around and placed Matty in the car seat.  Snapping everything in place. He then turned and hugged John. “He’s so gorgeous. The three of you need time by yourself but, John, if you need anything, call us.  Alice or I would love to help. Well, all of us would. But seriously, even if you just need sleep.”

“Thank you, Justin. Thanks for everything.”

As they got in the SUV, Justin said, “I will be there tomorrow unless you call me earlier.  I’ll call ahead of time.”

Gus was very moody and quiet as he got into the car.  Justin had seen Gus talking to Tony as they loaded the SUV. He would talk to him when they got home.  When they got home Justin looked at Brian and glanced at Gus. Brian was taking a sleeping Brinn out of her seat. “Can you put her down for a nap, Baby. I’ll be in soon.”

As Brian and Brinn walked in Justin sidetracked Gus. He tried to put an arm around him but Gus stepped to the side. “What’s wrong, Gus?”

“Nothing,” he looked down at his feet.

“It seems you have a problem with Matty.”

For a second Justin saw Gus soften, “Not with him.” He then turned to stone again. “I just don’t know why he gets Dad’s name and I don’t. I guess I don’t count.”

“Gus, you know that’s not true.” Justin tried to get close again but Gus stepped away.

“Just fuck off, JUSTIN.”  Gus used his first name like a knife to the heart. Justin felt like he had been knocked backwards.  Gus brushed past him and into the house.

When Brian came downstairs a few minutes later Justin sat in front of the fireplace in the kitchen. Brian sat next to him.  “What happened? You look like you are in shock.”

“Our son just called me by my name and told me to fuck off.”

Brian would have charged upstairs if Justin hadn’t caught his arm.  “Brian, he is hurting, badly. He doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings.  He doesn’t want to hurt Mel and Linds but he wants to have your name. It’s obvious he doesn’t feel like he belongs.”

“But why is it bothering him so much right now.  I mean…”

“Brian, you know I don’t keep any real secrets from you, right?”

“I don’t like how this is starting,” He pulled Justin closer.  

“I know something you will know by the end of the week but I promised to keep it from you until then because I didn’t see anything negative about it until now. If you want me to tell you I will but I promise, it won’t make any difference.”

Brian kissed Justin.  “I trust you, Sunshine. I know whatever you are hiding from me…” He started tickling him, “.....has a reason but that doesn’t mean I can’t torment you until then. One of our kids is sleeping and the other is being a teenager.  Can you think of anything to do in the meantime?”

“Oh, I definitely think there is.”  Justin straddled Brian and began to kiss him but then stopped. “Wasn’t Matty amazing!  He is so perfect, so beautiful. It almost makes me want… No, two is enough but they are so sweet at that age.”

“Do you really think our daughter would share you? I know I never would.” Brian flipped Justin onto his back on the sectional. Justin couldn’t figure it out how but by the time he hit the cushion his pants were around his knees and Brian’s hand was between his legs. He was brutal to both Justin’s mouth and genitals making Justin rock hard instantly. Justin moaned as Brian continued to manhandle his cock, almost to the point of being painful but it was driving him crazy. Justin finally managed to strip Brian’s pants off but Brian wasn’t ready to let Justin go yet. He continued to manipulate Justin until Justin was almost crazy with need.

“Please, Baby, now, I need you now.  Please, Brian! I need you.”

Brian crushed his lips once more and then stood up and pulled up his pants. “Is Alice around for dinner or are we on our own?”

Justin looked stunned. “What? Brian? You can’t leave me like this.”  Justin was taking deep breaths trying to regain control. “You are killing me, Brian.”

“Just think about how good it is going to be later.”

“Damn you, Brian!” Justin walked up behind him and thrust his pelvis into Brian’s ass.  “You are killing me!”

Brian groaned softly.  “It will be great later, Sunshine.”

“What should I make for  dinner?” Brian asked.

“Seriously? Do you really want the kids to suffer too?  I’ll find something to make. Alice always has stuff in the fridge, at least partly ready for dinner. Do you think we should talk to Gus?”

“I’ll stop by his room and see if he wants to talk.  He’s thirteen and he doesn’t want to talk. He’s home this week for Thanksgiving and I will be around as much as I can be this week.  Maybe I will try to spend some time with him. We’ll work through it.” Brian kissed Justin and went to check on Gus.

Peter and Becca had picked up Chinese and went to meet their new nephew.  So it was just the family of four. If Gus wasn’t a 13 year old boy he would have stayed in his room but instead he sat at the table and devoured a couple plates full of food before slinking away from the table and back up to his room. Brian and Justin spent the evening playing with Brinn.  Justin asked Brian to give Brinn a bath while he cleaned up the kitchen. After picking up the kitchen Justin went up to Gus’ room and knocked on the door.

“Can I come in, Gus?”  He heard a grunt and figured that was the most he would get in invitation.  “Are you Ok, Gus? Thanks for not ruining John and Peter’s surprise.”

Gus shrugged and continued his video game. Justin continued, “You know it won’t be long and you can change your name to anything you want. Gus, won’t you talk to me?”

“Justin there is nothing to talk about.  Even Brinn has MY dad’s name but I don’t. I know. I am the kid he didn’t want. Everyone’s told me that story.”

“Oh, Gus,” Justin went to hug Gus but he wrenched away.

“Why don’t you check on YOUR daughter. She might need you.”

“GUS, there is no yours and mine in this house.  We are a family.”

“Sure we are. The problem is you became a family and then had to take me in. My moms didn’t want me so it was Dad’s turn.  He had to take me.”

“Gus, you don’t really believe that.”

“I don’t know what I believe anymore,” for a minute Gus’ eyes swelled with tears. “Da… Justin just leave me alone.”

Justin walked to the door and turned around, his eyes were filled with tears, “I love you, Gussy.  I have loved you since the moment I picked you name, and you may not want me to be your dad but you will always be my son.”

Justin walked into the room he shared with Brian and stepped into his arms.  “Gus?” Justin nodded.

“Oh, Brian, he is so hurt. And he is so confused.”

Brian’s arms went around Justin.  “I am not sure why he is being like this.  What do you need, Sunshine? What do you need?”

“All I  need right now is you deep inside me.”

“That would be my sincere pleasure.” Brian slowly removed Justin’s clothes and then his own. Brian stroked Justin’s cheek and then let his hand slide down his arm and then to his side and then, after moving Justin a bit he entered him, pressing against the length of his body and caressed his lips with his own.  

Softly, Brian made love to his husband. Even after they had both cum Brian kept going until they both orgasmed agan and then after getting into the spooned position, Brian slipped back in and they fell asleep.

Peter and Becca brought dinner for John and Tony.  When they arrived, John and Tony were quite stressed out. John was pacing the floor with Matty while Tony was doing his best to help him.  He had a bottle in one hand and a pacifier in the other. Becca walked up to them and looked down at their son, who was crying. “He is beautiful, may I?”

Neither man resisted as Becca took Matty into her arms. She laid Matty in the center of his blanket and wrapped him up very tightly and then held him close to her chest. In a few minutes Matty had settled down in her arms.  “Do you think he has had enough to eat?”

John nodded.  “Yes, we just didn’t know what else to try. Thank you, Becca.”

“I had a lot of siblings. We called this a burrito wrap.  It works for a lot of babies.” She walked into the nursery and was stunned by the beautiful mural Justin had painted.  It was every boy’s dream, a jungle with things to see everywhere. There were animals and insects, treehouses, and vines.  It was magical. Becca set Matty down and brushed a tear off her cheek. How was she ever going to tell Peter they could never have this.

The four of them ate their meal and talked but Peter and Becca left soon.  John and Tony were too tired to keep their eyes open. “Good night, guys. When he wakes up feed him and wrap him tight again.  It makes him feel safe and if you need me I am just a phone call away.”

Peter took Becca’s hand and walked out to the car with her.  He pressed her against the passenger door and kissed her until she was limp in his arms.  “Someday you are going to be the world’s best mother.”

Becca clung to him as she held back the tears threatening to spill out.

The week flew by.  By Thanksgiving morning the house was filled with amazing smells.  There was a princess birthday cake along with every traditional Thanksgiving food you could think of.  The family along with Jennifer and Tucker sat around the table. Matty spent time in everyone’s arms. Brinn stayed quiet while John held him but when Brian and then Justin held the newborn she had enough. She started pounding on the tray of her highchair.  “My daddies, my daddies.” The tears rolled down her cheeks.

Jennifer got up and picked up her granddaughter.  “Of course they are your daddies, and they always will be yours.”

As they sat down to eat Alice stood up.  “I think everyone should have a chance to say what they are thankful for. You don’t have to but if you would like….”

Becca was the first to speak. “I am thankful for finding a real home here.” She sat down not wanting to say more.

First one and then another just said a few things they were thankful for the last year.  Gus sat silently. Finally, John and Peter nodded at each other and stood up. John spoke, “Uncle Brian, Peter and I have so much to thank you for and after I found out about Matty coming we talked about it and decided to change our last name to Kinney.  Justin said you wouldn’t mind so,” John took his son and holding him up he said, “Meet Matteo John Anthony Kinney.”

Brian couldn’t find the words. Justin put a hand on his shoulder.  “I don’t know what to say. I think we are the lucky ones to have you come into our lives. I….” Brian glanced around the table and stopped on Gus.  Now he understood. Gus knew this was happening. “I think it’s time to eat before it gets cold.”

The day was full of fun and family.  Tony and John were the first ones to leave.  They needed to get some sleep and family time.  By Christmas the B & B would be up and running. They had guests booked for Christmas already.  The Kinney Inn was nearly ready for business. After Matty was down Tony opened his arms and John stepped in.  Their lips met and the depth of the kiss increased. They ended up in their room and after shedding clothes, they were side by side in bed.  They returned to each other’s lips but it wasn’t long that both men, still in each other’s arms were sound asleep.

Becca and Peter had stayed at the main house for a while.  Becca helped Justin and Alice clean up in the kitchen while Peter and Brian played with Brinn and straightened up the furniture.  Brinn was playing with the gifts she had received. Justin caught himself at Becca’s side and he softly said, “Are you doing alright? This can’t be easy.”

“He is so going to throw me to the curb when he finds out.  No, I take that back. He will say it doesn’t matter but as time goes by he will back away.”

“Becca, I think you are underestimating Peter.  Give the guy a chance to step up. Just tell him.”

“I will, soon.  I just don’t know where I will go when….”

“You aren’t going anywhere.  You’re family and you have a place here with us, no matter what Peter decides.

Alice shooed everyone out of the kitchen.  Peter and Becca bundled up and jogged back to the guest house.  Justin and Brian carried a sleepy Brinn up to her room. They put her to bed and Justin kissed Brian, “I am going to check on Gus, unless you want to.”

“Sunshine you are so much better at that than I am.”

“I don’t know if I am better but I know you aren’t comfortable doing it.  I’ll be back.”

Brian kissed him once more, “I’ll be waiting.  Want a bath?” Justin nodded as he stepped out of the room.

“Gus?” Justin tapped softly on the door.  If Gus was sleeping he didn’t want to wake him.  No answer. Justin opened the door. There was a lamp on by the bed but the bed was empty.  He turned expecting him to be asleep by his TV but he wasn’t there, either. As he stepped further into the room, a shiver ran through him. “Gus?” he said louder.  Then he noticed a notebook on the nightstand.

‘I need to find out where I belong.  Gus’

Justin ran down the hall and into his bedroom. “Brian, turn off the water and come here.”

Brian strode out of the bathroom, naked.  He could see the panic on Justin’s face.

“Gus is gone.  He left a note.”  He already had the phone in his hand waiting for Lindsay to pick up.  After explaining the situation to Lindsay and Mel he hung up. Brian was on the phone with 911.  Justin called Peter and Becca but held off calling Tony and John. After letting Alice know Brian dressed and they went downstairs to wait for the police.  Becca and Peter came in the back door and Alice made a pot of coffee.

“We checked all the buildings on our way over.  I thought maybe he would go to the old studio or the pool house but he isn’t out there.” Peter walked up behind Becca and pulled her close.  

Justin was fairly sure the call had interrupted something but they were now focused 100% on Gus.  “Any idea why he would have left?” Peter asked.

Justin put his arm around Brian’s waist, “He is upset about his last name.  It isn’t your fault but the fact that you changed your name got him thinking.  He is too young to change his name on his own plus he doesn’t want to hurt his moms,” Brian stated.

“Gus was even questioning why Brinn got to have HIS dad’s name but he couldn’t,” Justin comment.

Brian pulled Justin closer, “He had started calling Justin by his name.”

“I noticed he was quiet today,” Becca said. “I should have tried harder to talk to him.”

“It is no one’s fault. I just want to know where he is?  It is cold out there. I need to go see if he took clothes with and if he wore a coat.”

Brian let Justin go.  He knew he needed to do something.  By the time the sheriff's deputy arrived it was after midnight. Brian greeted him and invited him in.

“Mr. Kinney, My name is Deputy Troy Brown, is your wife around?  It is usually easier if we all speak together.”

“My husband should be down in a minute.”  Brian watched the deputy’s face as he said it.  A look crossed his face that let Brian know his opinion of their life but he covered it up quickly.

“Oh, are you coparents or is one of you…”

“I wouldn’t go there.” His tone was steely.  “By law, I am his father and I have joint custody with his mother.”

“I am sorry, sir, I didn’t mean anything…”

“I really don’t give a damn what you think.  I just want people out there looking for my son and I believe you will do that for us.” There was still an edge to Brian’s voice but it was now authoritative rather than hostile.

Justin walked up and Brian put his arm around his shoulder pulling him in front of him, holding him protectively.  “Sunshine, this is Troy Brown. Did Gus take anything?”

“It looks like he took two or three days worth of clothes and he does have on his coat but it is so cold out there tonight.” He kissed Justin’s head.  “Let me get you some coffee. Deputy?”

“Thanks,” Brian walked off and the deputy focused on Justin. “So, when is the last time you saw your son?”

Justin filled Deputy Brown in on the events and what pushed him to run away.  “He felt like he didn’t belong but I don’t know where he would go. His best friend lives in Italy.  I am afraid he is just wandering out there in the cold. Oh, I have a picture for you.”

“I was just going to ask you for one.” He looked at the picture. “He is a good looking kid.”

“That scares me, too. Oh, god, I never thought about the loft.  Brian!” he hollered, “Maybe he went to the loft.”

Brian walked in with the coffee.  “I will call Carl and ask him to check it out. They are probably the closest.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Justin explained that they owned a loft in the city and Carl was a retired police officer that was a close family friend.  He gave him the address and Deputy Brown called in the address as well as the picture. “And he has never tried this before?”

“The only time I worried about it was a year or so ago when he was living with his moms and wanted to live here. At the time his moms were having some problems but that has all been cleared up.  He now spends a lot of his weekends there but prefers to live here.”

Brian walked in shaking his head.  “He isn’t at the loft. Carl went in and check around.  I didn’t think he could make it that far this fast. Carl will check every couple hours. I know we were going to let John and Tony sleep and I can’t see him going there but….”

“He wouldn’t go there.  He thinks of them as part of the problem right now. Let’s hold off until 6:00 to call them.” Justin said this as he buried his head into Brian’s chest.  “He thinks he’s grown up but he is just a little boy.”

Gus had packed a duffel and slipped out of the laundry room side door making sure to stay in the shadows so no one saw him back there.  Just as he had hoped, there were snacks and water in there. He loaded them into his bag. He snuck into the back of Tony and John’s SUV.  He held his breath when John put Matty in his seat. He pressed himself tightly against the seat so John couldn’t see him. Gus listened to Tony and John talk about Matty and lots of mushy stuff about going to bed soon.  After Tony and John had gone in, Gus let him out as quietly as he could. He didn’t slam the back door but set it down gently. He used his cell phone for a flashlight but then realized he forgot the charger and he knew they could track it so he shut it down. Damn, he wished he had thought of that earlier.  He knew in the morning they would track him here.

Where was he going to go?  He had no idea. He didn’t want to go away but he didn’t belong there.  When Becca and Peter eventually got married, and they would, everyone would have the same last name except him.  Well, Alice, but she didn’t count in this situation. She was all the way grown up, almost old. It was so cold out.  He had his birthday money so if he could get to the airport he could maybe get a ticket to fly somewhere. He could go where it was warm. He thought he could make it to the small airport.  Maybe he could just sneak on a plane. It was so cold. He wished he had taken a hat. Daddy always told him to wear a hat.

As he walked in the dark he stayed off the road.  He saw a police car moving slow. He wondered if they were looking for him.  He needed to get to the airport while it was dark and then he could find a place to hide.  He could see the sky starting to lighten up. He was so cold. He could barely feel his feet. Out of the corner of his eye Gus saw something scurry.  ‘Was that a fox?’ And with that thought Gus crashed to the ground. His head hit the frozen ground and for a moment things went black. It wasn’t long because when he opened his eyes it was still quite dark.  He started to get up and pain shot up his leg. He grabbed at a fallen tree and sat on it. What was he going to do now. If he stayed here he’d freeze to death. Gus looked around and found a sturdy stick. He had to make it across the last few yards and into that building.  With the help of the stick, he slowly made his way across to a side door. He had been in there with Brinn earlier and he noticed the lock looked broken. The sun was just coming over the trees as Gus fell into the building. He fell onto a pile of what he thought might be old parachutes.  Eyes filled with tears he gave into exhaustion.

Justin called John at 6:00.  Tony picked it up. “Justin you are up early.” Matty was crying in the background and he could hear John talking to him about being wet.

“Is Gus there?  Have you seen Gus?”

“Justin, why would Gus be here at this time of the day. Wait, Gus is missing?”  Justin heard Matty coming closer to the receiver. There was some shuffling and John’s voice came on.  “What’s wrong with Gus?”

“He ran away last night.  He has been gone all night and it is so cold out there.  Oh, god, John….” Brian walked up to Justin and took the phone as he held him close.  

“John, there is nothing you could have done so I hope you got some sleep.”

“We did.  I will come over as soon as….”

“John, there is nothing you can do here.  Don’t feel like you have to come over but if you want to come over later feel free. I will call you later.”

Brian set the phone down and pulled Justin to him.  They didn’t say anything. Justin looked up into Brian’s face and Brian brought his lips down to his husband’s. They kissed for a long time. Pressing their bodies together but not thinking about taking it anywhere.  Becca walked in the back door to find them fused together. She walked over to pour a cup of coffee. Alice was taking Brinn out of the house so she didn’t worry or see everyone else worrying. She walked into the kitchen with Brinn who was in her winter coat.  

“Gentlemen, your daughter is leaving.”  Brian and Justin separated and Justin took Brinn for a minute.  

“Goodbye, Sweetheart,  you have fun with Alice.”

“Where’s Gussy?  Bye bye, Gussy.” She waved at the stairs.

Justin and Brian both kissed her. “Have fun, Sweety.”  Brian snuggled her and passed her to Alice and they left.

Becca gave them each a fresh cup of coffee,  “I am sure you haven’t eaten anything. It’s after 10:00 a.m. and I  know you haven’t had anything but caffeine. What can I make you both?”

Justin started to say no but Brian up his hand on his arm.  “Thanks, Becca, maybe some scrambled eggs and one of those rolls over there.”  The doorbell rang and Brian went to answer it. “Deputy, come in.” Justin came sprinting out of the kitchen.  

“Is there any news? Have you found him?” Justin asked in a rush.

“We have one small lead but it hasn’t gone anywhere.  It appears your son was at your nephew’s house around 8:00 p.m. I talked to your nephew’s,” he hesitated, “husband and he said that is about the time they came home.  He stowed away in the back of their car.”

“Can you figure out where he went?”

“We tracked him for about a mile but then we lost his trail.  We have called to get a dog out here but there is a front moving in and there are no planes coming in or out and the handler won’t drive the dog in bad weather.”

“But we can’t leave him out there if there is snow coming.  We can’t! He already has to be so cold. He is SO cold.” Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and pulled him close.

“Mr. Kinney, Justin, we are not giving up.  A search group is being organized but they are worried about the weather, too.”

“Well, then I will go out and look myself.  I need to find him. His moms are going crazy, too.”

“Yes, I stopped by there but a colleague is there with them now. They are being informed.”

“Troy, have you had a chance to eat breakfast?” Brian asked the young man.

“I had a doughnut.  Yes, I am a cliche.”

“Join us for some eggs and croissants.  Nothing fancy but we all need some food.”  Becca had already started scrambling more eggs.

Justin wasn’t eating so Brian started feeding him without even realizing it. “Sunshine, you need to eat. Gus is going to need you when he gets home.”

Deputy Brown watched the interaction and wondered if he would ever feel that way about someone, to be that connected.  He sure wasn’t with his ex-wife. He noticed how they touched each other, needing the contact. He snapped out of it when his phone went off. He excused himself and stepped into the front hall.  

“This is like Brinn all over again. I am so helpless.  Our son, your son is somewhere and he needs his dad.”

“Justin, Sunshine, you are his dad and he knows that.  We just need to find him and we will work this all out. We will find him.  He will come back to us.”

John, Tony, and Matty arrived after lunch and sat with them.  Peter had been looking all morning and Tony joined him when he went out again.  Justin spent a lot of time holding Matty. It helped if he stayed busy. As he rocked the tiny new Kinney he remembered Gus at this age and now as he sat in front of a roaring fire Gussy was out there alone somewhere.  As the day went on it began to snow and everyone’s fears escalated.”

Gus woke up mid-day and cried out in pain when he tried to move his leg.  It was too swollen to really tell if it was broken but he couldn’t bear weight on it.  He drank some water and ate some crackers. He was so cold. Gus saw his phone in the bottom of the duffle and pulled it out.  He was going to call home. They would come get him. He would say he was sorry and they would love him. He knew they loved him.  He was such an idiot.

He picked up his phone and tried turning it on.  Nothing! He tried a few more times before he noticed that there was a crack across the back.  It must have happened when he fell last night. Now what was he going to do? His fingers and toes hurt.  They felt like pins and needles were sticking in them. He hurt everywhere. He was so cold. He wondered if he could get in the office. Maybe there would be a phone in there?” He looked around and found a pipe he hoped would work for him to walk with.  He hopped and shuffled his way across the hanger. It took him so long to cross the room he had to sit down outside the office door. Locked.

Gus cried and fell asleep in the chair.  When he woke up again it was getting dark.  He was hungry and thirsty but his bag was far away. He tried to get into the office and after several tries he found a screwdriver that helped him break the lock and he got into the office.  He looked out the lone window and saw it was snowing. He didn’t see a phone but it seemed a little warmer in here. He didn’t see any food but there was water at least. There was also an old sofa and some old coats.  He drank a glass of water and then laid down to sleep. Using the old coats as blankets. His leg hurt so bad. He shut his eyes and slept.

Brian woke up in the middle of the night to find Justin staring out the window.  Brian wrapped his arms around Justin’s upper chest and kissed his head. “Come to bed, Justin. There is nothing we can do tonight.  We have had people out looking for him for over 24 hours. We need to sleep so when he comes home we are healthy and strong for him.  Why don’t you come and love me, Justin. We need to love each other.”

Justin spun around and plundered Brian’s mouth.  He pushed Brian back to the bed and pushed him down, so glad he was already naked. Justin was in a frenzy. Brian wasn’t sure what he was going to do next.  He was everywhere all at once. He was biting and sucking a taking everything he could get. When Brian was ready to burst when Justin thrust into him. He put his arms around Brian, pulling him close as his pelvis drove into Brian over and over.  Brian shouted loudly as he orgasmed in waves over and over. Justin held onto him tightly as he emptied himself into his life. “I love you, Baby. I love you so much.”

Brian turned and held him.  “You are my life, Sunshine. I can’t do life without you.  Our son will come back to us. I know he will.” And they slept.

The morning arrived and there was 6 inches of fresh snow on the ground.  Justin’s first thought was that there might be tracks. He could be hundreds of miles away by now.  Justin remembered Gus’ birthday money last evening and it was all gone. He probably had close to $800  with him which means he could be almost anywhere.

The morning was a repeat of Friday.  The only difference was the dogs were on their way and the temperature had dropped to 0°.  If Gus was outside he couldn’t be alive. They just went through the motions of the day. Justin and Brian talked to Mel and Lindsay several times as the day went on.  Mel and Lindsay said they didn’t care what Gus’ name was as long as he was alive. He would always be there son.

Gus woke slowly but was disoriented. He was so hungry and his leg hurt so much, not to mention the needles and pins in his hands and feel although that was a little better this morning.  He wasn’t nearly as cold this morning. The old coats helped a lot. He couldn’t see much out the window but he could tell it had snowed quite a bit. Would anyone find him today? After drinking some water he fell back to sleep until he woke to the sound of a snowplow.  Would someone come in? Would …. Gus couldn’t focus. He needed to sleep. The next time Gus woke it was dark again. We wasn’t sure what day it was. He could tell it was late at night. It hurt to move at all. He missed his moms and his sisters. He missed his dads. Daddy must hate him.  He was so mean to him “Justin, Daddy, I’m sorry.” Gus said it outloud in the empty room. “I know you love me. I wish I could tell you how much. Please find me, Daddy, Please!”

Justin sat straight up in bed. “Brian, Brian!”

“What’s wrong, did the phone ring? Did they find him?”

“Brian, he is close by. I don’t know how I know that but I do. And, baby, he’s hurt and he’s so scared.  We need to find him!”

Brian pulled him close and laid down with him.  It was a dream, Baby.”

“I don’t think so.  It was so real. I Heard him calling me daddy.  He would have called one of the family by now if he could. Even if he was mad he would have let us know he was safe if he could.”

“Sunshine, go  back to sleep. Brinn is going to need time with her dad tomorrow.  If John hadn’t come for a while today Brinn would have been a mess.”  Brian ran his hand through Justin’s hair and then drew his hand across his cheek.  He kissed Justin’s forehead and pressed his head down to his shoulder. “Sleep, Sweetheart, sleep.”

Gus was sure he was dreaming.  He heard a car pulling up and then a door slam. All of the sudden the room was lit up.  He must be dreaming because the lights didn’t work when he got here. He didn’t want to dream he just wanted to sleep.  

Gus heard voices and then he felt a hand on his shoulder.  The next thing he remembered was a police officer leaning over him and then being rolled into the back of the ambulance.

Brian and Justin were in the kitchen drinking the third cup of coffee when there was a knock at the door.  They both froze. Alice came out of the bedroom and joined the men as Brian opened the front door. Deputy Brown stood there.  His look was grave. “He is on his way to the hospital. He’s alive but he’s in rough shape. Grab your coats. I will drive you. All I can tell you is they found him at the little airport and he is in really bad shape.”

“Was he able to tell them anything?” Brian asked as he held a shaking Justin close.

“They said he kept mumbling ‘daddy’.