CHAPTER 18 - AND HE REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE...BUT SHE DOES

DEBS

“Yep definitely needs champagne!” Brian declares as he pulls Justin to the door. “We’ll be back!” 

Michael tries to follow but stops as Baloo blocks his path. “Move!” He demands but Baloo just yawns then lies down in the doorway. “Married to him?!” He turns his anger and frustration back on us. “Are you kidding?!” 

“Baloo come.” Crane orders, and without taking his eyes off of Michael, Baloo takes his time settling at his feet. “Good boy…” He ruffles his ears. “...now who are you talking to?” 

“To Ben of course.” He assumes his unmissed sulky posture. “Are you serious? Because if you are, I don’t appreciate being blindsided. Have you no regard for my feelings?!”

Ben laughs. “That’s rich coming from you! Besides, how are you blindsided? Did you forget that you have nothing to do with me, my fiance and our son?” I almost puncture my hand digging my nails in as he quivers with indignation at the shoe being on the other foot. “It will be a joint wedding, Ems. I think that would be best.”

“But maybe Michael can come to the bachelor party, and if he’s not burnt it yet, Brian can wear the boner outfit.” Robin taunts him.

“Oh no honey, that’s ash now.” I  smile. “I brought the kerosene and we had a BBQ.”

“Okay, let me get my pad, won’t be...no Baggie!” Ems yells, we turn to where he is looking. I can’t help the snort as Baggie starts pissing on Michael’s bag. He looks so happy. 

“How is he so full?” Ems mutters as we watch in fascinated silence. Finally he stops, shakes himself, sniffs the bag, look satisfied and lopes back to me. You’d think I would notice an over two hundred pound plus half Tibetan Mastiff leaving my side. Damn these cataracts, which I don’t have!

“My bag!” He wails. “He has pissed on my bag!” 

“In, not on. And to be fair, it does look like their potties at Britin. So as I was saying, my appointment iPad, in my car, won’t be long.” Ems declares, walking out and leaving the door open. “Oooh, don’t you look gorgeous! 

“One does one’s best for such things!” Slick laughs. “Where are you going?”

“Car! Have to make notes on the double wedding!”

“Whose?!”

“Go inside and check!” He laughs. “Oh, and I am going to need another car! And I suspect they will want something hot and sexy too!”

My heart is in my mouth as she comes in. I hope she doesn’t have Annabee with her. Whilst she doesn’t, Lindon isn’t with her either, which is not missed by the idiot. “Where is your husband?” He demands.

“With our daughter.” She replies as she surveys the room. “Hmmm. I am going to guess, you and Ramirez and you and Robin?” She grins. 

“You would be right!” Bank grins before frowning. “Why are you here?” He looks at Michael. Slick smirks as she grabs a beer. Michael says nothing. “I asked you a question, it will do you well to answer it.”

“My Mother invited me to…”

“No I didn’t, you invited yourself.” I interject.  “Besides, you need to go and clean up your bag don’t you?”

“No, actually I don’t. Their dog messed it up, so one of you, since they are not here, needs to clean it!” He demands, again with the expectant look. Nobody moves and his face darkens.

“Before you speak, think of both of your wants and needs…” Slick drawls as she sits down. He looks confused. “You want them to do it but they don’t need to. You need to get it cleaned but they don't want to do it...win-win for them. I do hope you don’t have anything electrical in there, that was a lot of piss.” This spurs him into action, gingerly picking it up, he heads to the kitchen. 

“Take it outside, you buffoon!” Carl snaps, and with a scowl he does so. 

MICHAEL

I cringe at two things: the smell and the laughter that follows me. I take great pleasure in dumping it over her roses then go around the back to find the hose. It takes a while for the bag to be piss free and dry, and by the time I come back, all the food is spread out and they are helping themselves. But even better for me, the cops are gone.

“This looks good. I chose well. Now pass me a plate, Slack, with one of each on it.” She continues to chew without taking her eyes off of me. “Didn’t you hear me?”

“Yep, but I can't do that. It would be against the rules.”

“What rules?” I snap.

“The rules that state you cannot imbibe alcohol whilst you reside in the EOHOPS house.” Carl reminds me.

“I am not having beer, I am eating!” I growl, still smarting from that.

“Ah, but all the food that you ordered has alcohol in it...” Ma picks up a piece of bread and nibbles on it. “...apart from the bread and crackers, isn’t that right, Ems?”

“Yes, now onto the weddings.”

“There will be no wedding discussion!” I hiss. “You seem to forget why we are meeting! I demanded your presence to lay down some, oh yes there will be many, of my terms over the rights issue. And that will be the only thing we talk about. Do you understand?!”

”Demanded, did you?” Det. Crane makes me jump and everyone smile. “And what rights are you talking about?”

“I th...thought you had gone…”

“You thought wrong. And the rights?” 

“My right to be here as her son...” I reply as calmly as I can. “...and some other things that you are not privy to.” 

“Hmm. Well then you will have to talk another time as Ramirez is being picked up by Bank. Then when they get back in about twenty minutes they will be talking about the wedding. So since you’re the only one who doesn’t want to hear it I, as the best man, am telling you to leave.” 

I am so furious at being gouged out, but have no choice except to go. They will pay so hard for this!

“Oh, and Michael, you'd best be ready.” Carl calls out as I head to the door.

“For what?” I snipe.

“The inspections. They happen after a month, then of course there is the testing.”

“What testing?” I almost scream at him.

“Read your letter, Michael, read your letter.” Ma sighs.

Again their laughter follows me out.

LIBERTY AVENUE - HALF AN HOUR LATER

LINDSAY

I am rooted to the spot just staring into the diner. There in the back booth, sipping tea and talking to Kiki, is Sandrine! I am in a quandary as this is the last place I thought to see her. Michael had crowed about how everyone was coming at his beck and call, so I knew I would not see them here. But for her to be here, it is just odd! And then I see why; coming out from the back is Twinkle.  

“Are you going in or not? You’re in the way.” A woman huffs behind me, so I step aside.

As I start to head back to the apartment, I hear my name being called. My heart sinks further as a furious looking Michael storms towards me. “What are you…”

“Did you get an EOHOPS letter?!” He snaps.

“No. I moved in with my mother and David, remember? What’s happened?”

“I can’t drink any alcohol whilst I stay there!” He fumes. “And I am hungry!”

“I thought you had ordered from Emmett.” I frown. 

“I did, but the food has alcohol in it, so I can’t eat that either!” He is almost foaming he is so angry. “Let’s go in.”

“No I can’t; Sandrine and Twinkle are in there.” I explain, he rolls his eyes. “This might not matter to you, Michael, but…”

“It doesn’t!” He interrupts. “And on top of that, Ben and Robin are getting married!” 

“Oh. How do you feel about it?”

“How do you think I feel?! Betrayed!” He spits before sighing. “There is no way they are getting married. No way.”

“Michael, calm down. Think about this carefully. Interfering was what got us into problems in the first place.” 

“This is so unfair! Why do they get to be happy in a relationship and not me?!” I hold back my immediate response. “Well?!”

“I thought you were making moves on Matthias?” 

“Oh shit, I forgot about him! He’s at home now and I promised him something to eat!” He opens his bag and I step back from him, he wrinkles his nose. “Their dog pissed in it!” He explains. “They are going to replace it. I’ve only just got it, spotted it in a vintage shop. Brian was right, those shops have the best treasures. Matthias said that there is something he wanted to discuss with me too.”

“You need to replace that bag now, Michael, the smell is appalling!” I declare, wafting the air. “Let’s go to Torso, you cannot walk about with that!”

His shoulders slump. “I have everything worked out where they are concerned,  but now I have to contend with them getting married.”

“But why are you contending with it? You and Ben are over - and were before we went back to…”

“I know that, but he should still have told me.”

“Again, why?”

“I was the only person who wanted him. I can’t abide him being in a relationship and me not.”

“It is what it is, Michael, you have to accept that.” I state firmly and guide him down the street. 

“Suppose, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have some fun in the meantime.” He starts to perk up. “After today, I think some payback is called for!”

“What are you two doing here?!” Frederick, the store manager gasps “And what the hell is that smell?”

“To purchase a holdall. You can dispense with that in the...”  Michael begins only to stop when he notices the tapping that Frederick is doing. “...what?”

“Management reserves the right to refuse service. Service refused. Off you trot.”

And this is how I find myself in a cab heading towards the grocery store with Michael’s complaining giving me a headache! And I am still hungry!

EOHOPS HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER

KITCHEN

MATTHIAS

He is muttering to himself as he takes the food out of the box. “You alright?” 

“Oh! You startled me!” He cries before grinning. “Are you well rested?”

“Yeah. So what’s for dinner? How’d your meeting go?”

“Not as well as I hoped. We had to reschedule for a later da…”

“What's that smell?” I sniff and search the boxes from the store. I find a bag with a holdall in it. “It’s that! Which dumpster did you find that in and why is it in with the food?!”

“I am going to wash it!” He protests. “A dog peed on it, and...”

“No, that is not staying here. Throw it out!” I command, after a few seconds of pouting he puts it in the bin. Huffing with annoyance, I yank out the gloves from under the sink then take out scissors. “That is rank and beyond help!” 

“What are you doing?” He frowns, then gasps as I snip through the strap. “Hey, are you crazy? That is a vintage Hermes bag!” He yells, but wisely doesn't do anything to stop me.

“More like herpes!” I retort, and take great pleasure in cutting it into pieces. “Now take that to the dumpster down the block. Along with everything in that box, have you put anything away already?” He slowly nods. “Oh god! Take everything out and dump it!”

“It was in a bag!” He huffs, blushing.

“All of it out!” I bark. “And when you come back, we are going to talk!”

“Back? Back from where?”

“The grocery store. You promised me dinner remember?!”

TWO HOURS LATER

MICHAEL

It took forever to get the stuff all over again, and as annoyed as I am about it, I can understand. It was, on reflection, not the smartest of moves, especially since I want to show him, criminal record aside, what a good catch I am. As I come in I hear voices. Frowning, I put the stuff in the kitchen and head to the lounge. I am surprised to find him talking to Jennifer Taylor!

“Ah, Michael, you’re back. Everything sorted out?” Matthias asks.

“Yes. Thanks. Um…”

“Oh, pardon me. Michael Novotny, this is Jennifer Taylor. She is one of the board members of the EOHOPS Association.”

“They have a board?” I can’t believe this!

“Yes. Jennifer Taylor, this is Michael Novotny, one of the residents.”

“Hello.” She replies and holds out her hand, I shake it. “So have you settled in alright?”

“Uh, yes, been here for a month or so.” 

“Good to know. Well, Matthias, are you ready?” 

“Yeah, will just get my coat. Sorry, Michael, change of plans. Jennifer is taking me for dinner instead. She has used her considerable charm to persuade me to accept another resident, they come next week. I will let you know who to expect.”

“Another…” 

“Why don’t you invite Lindsay over instead?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will do that. En...enjoy your evening.”

“Oh, we will.” Jennifer replies before following him out.

FORTY MINUTES LATER

LOUNGE

LINDSAY

Well I’ll be damned! I am staring at the screen and taking in the prestigiousness of the EOHOPS Board. Not only are Jennifer and Sandrine on there, I spot another familiar name: one George Schickel. He and I got on very well, and he had a soft spot for me. I gasp as I see there are openings for junior board members. And who better than a reformed crim...person to help steer them in the right direction?

I wince, as yet again, the clattering from the kitchen radiates around the room. He can stomp about as much as he wants. He is sulking because not only did Matthias go out, and with the crippled Vomit Boy’s mother, but he finally got around to reading his paperwork. He can’t drink, smoke, do recreational drugs or have overnight guests whilst in residence. I am thankful that I had something to eat when I got back to the apartment, because for a man who invited me to dinner, not only has he not cooked, but the takeaway that he ordered is yet to be dished out, despite being delivered ten minutes ago. I am about to add to the stress of his day. 

“Michael, where are your glasses?”

“On the side!” He yells back, I am going to enjoy this.

“No, your wine glasses.” It goes quiet, then he comes in looking astonished. “I brought it with me. You are not be able to drink, but I can. I take it they are in the kitchen then?” I stride past him with the bottle in my hand. I can feel his heated glare as I search the cupboards before finding them. “Oh, they are beautiful.” I make as little show as I can about pouring.

“It’s a good job I don't like wine much or I would think you were doing that on purpose!”

“As if I would do such a thing!” I declare.

“As if my comic ending up with Kyle was an accident.” He snipes back. “Let's eat, shall we?” 

“Michael, this situation is not my fault. If you had attempted to make amends with Debs you would not be here!”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He seethes.

“It means you had every opportunity to make nice over the last couple of years, and chose not to! Instead, you tried to lord it over her still, completely oblivious to the vulnerability of your position. Well, you know it now, don’t you?!” I take a sip of wine. “You pick fights with the wrong people, case in point, with me now. I am your only friend. Do not make an enemy out of me! I am leaving.” As I cork the wine, something occurs to me. “Where are you getting it from?”

“What?”

“The money for the food, etc? You don’t have a job, so where?”

A self satisfied smile spreads across his face. “Wouldn’t you like to know? I have my means and wiles.” He crows, and my eyes widen.

“Which are?” I demand, but he just leans against the door frame. “Michael, as a condition of your early release, all sources of savings, income, and any other form of subsistence must be declared. So where?” 

He starts to chuckle. “It was when she dyed my hair!” He snickers. “She had to take off her jewellery for the gloves. It must have fallen in when she was making sure I had no contraband in there!”

“What must have fallen in?!” 

“Her grandmother’s engagement ring.” He wipes his eyes. “I meant to give it back to her when I got out, but then she told me about giving her blessing to them getting married, so I kept it for a rainy day.”

“How much did you get for it, and where is the money?” My heart starts to pound as I think of the ramifications of this, knowing that I can’t say anything, but I know a woman that can. But she only can if he has continued to be Michael, who is like Winnie the Pooh, in that he is greedy and has a very small brain!

“$6,000, I pawned it within a week of getting here. And the money is here also.”

I almost cum with joy, but keep that deep inside. “Michael, you have to move it, they will search the place, remember, especially with the new person coming.”

“Hmm, good point. Hold on.” He heads upstairs, after a few minutes he comes back with a pack of, and I can't believe this, men’s incontinence pads! “I don’t use them! Just took the insides out so the money fits!” He huffs indignantly.

“Can you take it out of there?” I cringe, then we both freeze as we hear voices, I look out the window, Matthias is getting out of a cab. “Back upstairs with it quickly!” I rush to the lounge and shut down the laptop. We both make it back to the kitchen just as Matthias enters. “Hi Matthias, did you have…”

“Hello, Lindsay, nice to see you again. You okay? You look a little, uh, flummoxed.”

“Oh I am fine, thanks. So can you tell me about the EOHOPS Board?” They both look surprised. “I was thinking that they might need to hear the views of someone from, if you pardon the vernacular, the inside.”

“Uh, Lindsay…” Michael begins, but Matthias placing his hand on his arm silences him. Luckily, only I can see the dreamy expression on his face.

“How do you mean?” Matthias asks. I bite back the laugh at Michael’s pouting as Matthias removes, then wipes, his hand.

“I happen to know a few members of the board, and following my unfortunate lapse in judgement, I feel I am in the perfect position to steer them in the right direction of what a prisoner needs post release.”

“You know what, Lindsay? That is a good idea. A very good idea indeed. Do you have time to talk further about this?”

“Time and wine, Matthias. Time and wine.” I smile on the inside at the outraged expression that I know Mother will be sporting when I tell her about this...much like the one Michael is now!