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CHAPTER 4 - ...WHERE SOME MEMBERS ARE MORE WELCOME THAN OTHERS

 

BRITIN - A WEEK LATER

 

LOUNGE

 

GUS

 

“God it is so good to be back home! Could not believe we had to stay another week though…”

 

“You have already moaned about this, bro, wanna shut up now?” Hunter grins at me.

 

Man, I have missed them all, especially Hunter! I am so pleased that he and Daph are still together, but even happier that Robin and Ben have formally adopted him. They are not married, but are completely committed and besotted with each other.

 

The two people missing from today are Jenny and Molly, as they have both come down with strep throat. The reaction of Dad when he found out was to run across to the other side of the room like he was warding off the devil himself! I still don’t understand that, it’s not as if they are going to be kissing him or anything!

 

“Why, just why?!” Dad wails from the hallway as there is a thunk of a plate hitting the floor and Baggie comes strolling in with a steak sandwich in his jaws. “That’s it, Baggie, you are sleeping outside tonight!” He yells as he stomps in, but as usual when he yells, Baggie just looks at him until he stops, then later will lick his face and all is forgiven!

 

“For the 400th time, it is because you don’t follow through! Tell him firmly to drop it. Take it back off him, then…”

 

“Justin! I am not going to eat it after it’s been in his mouth and on the floor!” Dad shrieks, his face a mass of horror and nausea. “How could you even…”

 

“Again, stop queening! I was not going to suggest that, I know who I am married to! Take it away and throw it away.”

 

“But then it is a waste…” My Dad is actually whining, I have never see this before. “...can you make me another one, Ems?!” He yells towards the kitchen.

 

“This is the last time!” Is called back, but there is laughter in the voice. “I shall put hot sauce in it!”

 

“Why hot sauce?! Dad hollers with a frown.

 

“Baggie doesn't like hot sauce.” Papa grins, and takes a big bite of his sandwich and chews slowly. “Which is why he always goes for your sandwich. You don't put the sauce on quick enough.”

 

“Why have you never…” Dad begins, then goes quiet and looks outraged as Papa gives some of his steak to Baloo. “...now just a minute! How is what you did different to what I did?!”

 

I suppress the memory at the crossed arms and his blazing look, which reminds me of Jenny’s ex-father-dictator. We all know now that he wasn't really a father to her, and certainly tried even less to be one to Hunter, but dictator to both of them? Yes, definitely!

 

“Well, explain!”

 

“Because I gave Baloo the steak, whereas you let Baggie take yours.” Papa feeds him some more then the remains of the bread. “Which he has now finished.” He nods at a very contented looking Baggie.

 

“I did not! He used his weight advantage to overpower…” He goes quiet as we all just look at him. “Emmett! I am hungry,  it can't take that long to put hot sauce on a sandwich!” But Auntie Ems doesn't respond. We wait for a minute. “Ems, you okay?!” Dad strides to the kitchen so we follow. We find him just staring at his phone. “Ems?”

 

“Ted and Blake have...oh god they have…” He starts to cry and Dad takes his phone while we try to mop up the tears. “This is terrible! What am I going to do?!”

 

“Brian, what's happened?!” Papa demands, as Dad too is just staring before reaching for his phone at the same time as handing the other to Papa. “Oh my god, they got married!”

 

“Schmidt! Or is it Schmidt-Wyzecki?! If you are thinking of it being the latter, change them around. It flows better! Explain yourself!” He says nothing, just keeps nodding while we glare at him. “Fine. I take it this is also your honeymoon? Yeah, I will tell him to make sure to pour one down his throat. Give hubby one for me, but not on the lips. I know where his mouth has been on you!”

 

“Brian!” Papa snarls.

 

“We were their inspiration…” He pulls Papa into his arms. “...they decided to get married on the spur of the moment like we did, so they are now on their honeymoon.”

 

“Oh.” Papa grins proudly. “So where are they? There must be more to tell than that, as there was a lot of nodding.”

 

“There is, oh impatient one, but this needs Slick and Emmy Lou to be present. Are you coming around yet, Honeycutt?!”

 

“Oh sure, he’s the second of my dearest friends to get married without me! I bet neither of you will turn up at my wedding, if I even found someone desperate enough to marry me!” He yells, and we are stunned into silence.

 

“Emmett.” Dad reaches for him but he pulls out of his reach. “Emmett.”

 

“For one to do it is okay but not two!” He inhales sharply. “And as for Slick, to be a mother without me! I know I am busy, but I am beginning to feel like you guys are push…” Whatever he was going to say is muffled in dad’s embrace. He sobs some more while Dad kisses the side of his head. “I don’t even know how you two got married and I helped get you together!”

 

“Ems, we would never ever try anything like that!” Papa tells him firmly.

 

“But that’s what it felt like.” He weeps. “Everyone is happy and with someone, even Idaho is with someone now, and…”

 

“Sonny Boy, why don’t you and Hunter be elsewhere while we talk to Ems?”

 

“No problem, but don’t tell him about the proposal until we get back!”

 

“We won’t. Now come on, you silly nelly bottom, let us explain where you fit in our world…”

 

KIKU RESTAURANT, STATION SQUARE, PITTSBURGH - LUNCHTIME

 

OLIVER

 

“Well my darling, you have excelled yourself again! Where did you find this place?”

 

I love the blush that stains her cheeks, it makes her look so adorable. “Sandrine put me onto it. She and Lionel come once a month. He insists that she has a karaage and the beef maki, something about her booty she told me.” Lynette sips her sake. “But she said that the soft shell crab is to die for!”

 

“In that case, we will have one of each.” I lean in and kiss her hand, marvelling at how much happier she's been lately than she has been in months...no, years! She is finally rid of the ghosts of her past. We are hoping to go and see Gus this weekend now that he’s back from his school trip, even if he had to be put in quarantine for a week with suspected rubella. The relationship between him and Ronald is just wonderful to watch. As for Kimberly, well, she has fitted right in and brought him completely out of himself.

 

“So shall we discuss the elephant in the room?” Her eyes twinkle.

 

“Perhaps alligator in the swamp would be a much better description?” I tease.

 

“Yes! Absolutely! So she’s been released, and chances are that she will come sniffing around for…” She blinks rapidly then stares ahead. “...or she can be making her way to our table right now!”

 

“Surely…” I maintain my mask of equanimity as Nancy and some snotty looking creep come to our table. Her mouth is stretched so wide it’s a wonder that her face doesn’t split and peel back. “...can we help you?”

 

“Lynette, you are looking…”

 

“Happier. Yes we know. Leave and we will remain that way.” Lynette returns.

 

“Sorry, my manners…”

 

“What those you don't have? Fake apology accepted.”

 

“As I was saying, this is David. David, this is Oliver. He is which husband now, dear?”

 

“Which husband you ask? At least he is mine and not someone else's, although your long ago lustre is tarnished, so I suppose the wives can rest easy. And no tag I notice, but then again with those hips and knees, you should be easy to catch, unless, your lackey here intends to wheel you from bank to bank. I take it you will be robbing the actual building as opposed to a person?”

 

“Just a minute, I am her husband!” David declares, and they smile sickeningly at each other.

 

Nobody says a word for a minute. “Well, you took it a lot better than Lindsay did, she was most put out.” Nancy titters, but still Lynette says nothing. “Lynette, you must have a view on who is your new Daddy.”

 

“You have found a mutual need in each other: you rob cradles and he robs graves. Besides, in order for him to be my Daddy you would need to be my mother, and you’re not.”

 

“Uhm, Lynette, I feel sure we have met before…” David frowns. “...yes, I am sure I have seen parts…”

 

“I don't remember meeting you. A person of your ilk would stick in my mind.”

 

“Well, as you can tell by our demeanour and now worked last nerve, we are done with your company. Now why don’t you stuck up, half witted, for you two married each other, wannabe upper class piles of pus leave with what little dignity you have left, before I call the management?” They look stunned but then David decides to come closer to the table. “Oh, this should be good, what do you intend to do that I won't be better than you at?”

 

“David, darling, come on, we will revisit this conversation again, Lynette.” While she glares at her, Lynette just sips her sake, “We will come to the house where we will discuss our new familial structure in private!”

 

“It was you who sought to make a scene, but as you wish.” Lynette smiles and they both frown at her change in tone. “Let me know a date and time as soon as you can. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

 

As they scuttle away to their table, Lynette smiles brightly and then signals the waiter.

 

BRITIN - POST LUNCH

 

DEN

 

HUNTER

 

Ems has gone up to have a nap after his crisis de non-cumfidence. Turns out that despite his success, he hasn't had a date, let alone sex, even with myself, in over a year! We are still waiting for Slick and Lindon to come, but she had to fix a nasty leak first.

 

“He's right you know. He did get me my Papa, and it is time I thanked him!” Gus declares, standing up and looking out the window. “I need to thank him in a Kinney way.”

 

“Uh, dude, are you coming out?” I gasp. “Which would make your old man so very proud, but losing your cherry to your aunt is just no!”

 

“Coming out? Not sure to be honest. I mean, how did...Hunter! That is not what I meant when I said that I wanted to thank him! I meant get him a boyfriend! How the shitting heck did you arrive at that conclusion?!”

 

“Sorry, so sorry!” I hold my hands up in mortification and to block any punch that I really deserve! “I have no idea why or how I went there!”

 

“We will never speak of this conversation again.” His glare is steely and I nod until it softens. “Besides, if I was and I wanted to lose it, it would be to you.”

 

“What?!” I croak.

 

“Now you know how I just felt!” He smirks.

 

“Asshole!”

 

PETERSON-MARCH RESIDENCE - FIFTY MINUTES LATER

 

SUNROOM

 

LYNETTE

 

We lost our appetites, but Oliver refused to leave before they did, saying that they would see it as us running away from them. Unfortunately, we then hit traffic as we made our way back; I think we were both glad that Oliver drove as that gave us something else to focus on.

 

“Oliver.” He looks at me with so much love I know it is going to be fine. “It’s him.”

 

“I thought it was. I saw the recognition of something as he approached, and when he said parts, you gripped the chair; oh it was very hard not to light into him.” I sit on the sofa next to him and sigh. “What do you want to do? Oh god, do you think she knows?!”

 

“Do you think she cares? She didn't at the time, years later aren't going to make a difference. As for what I am going to do, I shall do what I did then...kick where it hurts!”

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

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