CHAPTER 42 - ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS

BRITIN - FRIDAY EVENING

LOUNGE

BRIAN

There are several things I love about my husband: his eyes, his lips, his bubble butt; but then there are things I don’t like. And one of them is how an easy read he is; by which I mean, when he thinks I am going to be pissed about something, he skirts, stutters, then when I don’t ask him what’s wrong, he simmers. Fair enough, he doesn’t do it as much as he used to, but I really thought we were past this, whatever this is, and judging by the tray, it’s big. He puts it down with a ‘winning’ smile. I survey our dinner, and smile ‘winningly’ back.

“Do you want something to drink? There is a bottle of…”

“Justin.” I just want this over with. “You’re doing it again.”

“I’m not doing...”

“Yes, you are, spit it out. I don’t want this to spiral into a row, which it is in danger of doing.”

“Fine! Why haven’t you spoken to Lindsay?” He sits down on the very edge of the sofa opposite me.

“Ask me again, but a lot closer.” I spread my legs and pat the sofa. “Come talk to me.” Reluctantly, he settles down, then I wait. “Just…”

“I asked, you need to answer.” He returns sharply.

“What’s happened?” I go to tilt his chin up, but he pushes my hand away. Me getting up surprises him.

“What are you doing?!” He snaps. “We were talking!”

“You want to fight about this. Why?” I pour myself a drink. 

“You’re hurting Gus!” He finally, thank Jesus, explodes. “By keeping her on edge and not speaking to her, you’re hurting him. You’re as bad as her mother!”

I head to the phone and dial a number, then put it on speaker. “Peterson March residence, Lindsay speaking.” 

“Something wrong with a good old fashioned hello?” I drawl.

“Hi, Brian!” Lindsay giggles. “Habit! How are you and Justin? Are you all packed and ready?”

“We are. But the question is, are you ready?”

“I have to admit I am nervous, but with Gus and Jenny there too, it will be fine.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay in the house?”

“I’m sure. I would rather stay in the cottage. Britin’s your home. Emm...Ems has shopped for me, so I am all set!” 

“Great, see you on Monday.”

“Bye, Brian, give my love to Justin.”

“Will do.”

It doesn’t take long. “When did you speak to her, and why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Tuesday, and I did tell you.” I keep my tone nice and calm, even though that is not how I feel at all. “I sent you a text, which you...”

“You did not!” He growls.

“I did. I sent it immediately after I spoke to her. Your response was, ‘what do you want for dinner’.” I sit down on the right-now-not-feeling-the-love seat and wait for him to scroll through. It takes a while, as we text a lot. “Found it yet?”

“Shit.” He sighs. “I am so sorry. I was sorting my paintings for…”

“You are behaving like her mother. That's what you said.”

“I did, and again I am so sorry. I know you better than that.” He sits next to me. “Will you tell me what happened?” I turn to face him, then kiss his nose. “Before you do, you need to aim a little low…” He sighs as I kiss him, then gently entwines our fingers. Our tongues slip and slide, then I pull back. “...what?” I lick my lips. “Brian?”

“How pissed were you when you set that up?” I nod at the tray.

“A lot. Why?” He frowns. 

“Let’s sit back down then you check out the tray.” I put it between us, he surveys it before frowning slightly. “Look again.” 

“Oh! Come on, I can put some on to warm.” He picks up the tray and I follow him to the kitchen. 

Three minutes later, I am at his side doing some guacamole, whilst the tortillas heat. “You so love me.” He whispers. 

“That I do. Now pass me the lime.” I nudge his shoulder.

“So what happened?” He asks, as he adds the sea salt to the sriracha butter. “I used unsalted by mistake.”

“Jesus, you need this trip more than I do.” After I turn him to face me, I really look at him. There are bags under his eyes and furrows in his forehead, my poor Sunshine’s exhausted. “For fuck...Justin! Has your hand been cramping?!”

“Not that…”

“So yes!” I switch everything off and sigh. “My turn to apologise, I should’ve realised when you didn’t acknowledge it, that something was wrong. I was so wrapped up in getting clients locked down that...no matter, do you want me to run you a bath?”

“I would like a bath, but I want to hear about Lindsay too.” I look at the time. “Brian?”

“Do you have the strength to do a fruit platter? This…” I gesture at the jambalaya. “...is far too heavy for now, we can take it for eats tomorrow. I will do cornbread to take with us.”

“Cornbread!” He gasps. “Muffins or loaf?!”

“Muffins.” I declare, opening the fridge. “Sit down and orchestrate, maestro.”

“Okay…” He drags a chair in front of it and checks the contents. “...so, um, first we need strawberries...oh,  the honeydew melon, apricots, did you finish all the cherries?” 

“I did, but fret not, there are some in the cooler in the caboose. We have mango, pineapple, and grapes as well as every other fruit under the sun that we could…”

“...swap the apricots for grapes, please, and finally cucumber, sliced thickly.” This has me puzzled. He points to his bags. “These need sorting.” 

MAIN BATHROOM - TEN MINUTES LATER

JUSTIN

“Now lie back and let me apply these.” Brian orders, pressing me into the chaise for emphasis. The moment the slices hit my eyes, I groan in relief, but I flinch when something ice cold drips on my face. “Relax, it’s just a serum, it’s got honey and hyaluronic acid.” He starts a nice and gentle massage. “It will help. Trust me.”

“Mmm.” I reply, tilting my chin up so that he can get to my neck. “I think we need to redecorate.” I mumble.

“The bathroom?” He asks.

“Yeah...what’s so funny?” I lift the slice off my eye. “What?”

“I asked you about that last Monday, was wondering when you were going to get back to me.”

“Oh.” I put the slice back down. “How long does this have to stay on for?” 

“At long as I say so, now give me the slices. You will get them back, but you need to get in. “I strip him in silence, then assist him into the bath, ensuring he doesn’t slip. “Comfy?” He asks as I put the slices back on. I wiggle as he puts on the neck pillow. “Yes, yes, I know. I so love you.”

Twenty minutes later, he is gently removing the serum, and, much to my surprise, eating one of the slices. “Want the other one?”

“Yeah, why not.” I chuckle, before eating it. “So, what happened?” I open my eyes when I hear scraping. He’s moved the chaise closer, has the platter on his lap, and is holding out a strawberry.

BRIAN

“Well, I went to Mel and Lucy’s when I finished earlier than I thought I would…”

Start of flashback

MEL AND LUCY’S HOUSE - TUESDAY AFTERNOON 

BRIAN

I follow Gus up to his room. He looks nervous. “Relax, you are not in trouble, I just want to talk to you about Lindsay before I go and see her.” 

“What about?” He frowns.

“Do you know what they’ve done to Grandmother dearest?” He nods. “How would you feel about a partial restoration of her rights?” 

“How partial is partial?” He doesn’t look at me. In fact, he starts to fiddle with the knob of his chest of drawers.

“Sonny Boy? It will be as much as you and Jenny are comfortable with. I know you two have talked, but if you…”

“Can we ask her if that’s what she wants? She might not feel she deserves it.” He opens a drawer before handing me a letter. I read it in silence before hugging him. “I missed her.” He mutters into my chest. “Jenny still has Momma with her. And with Lucy too, I felt so left...no, so jealous. I know I have you and Poppa, but Jenny also has Uncle Ben and Uncle Robin. I sound like a spoilt brat, but…”

“Why didn’t you say you were hurting so much?” I ask, guiding us to sit on the bed.

“I didn’t want you to be disappointed…”

“...that despite everything, you still love her and think of her as your Mom? I’ve known for ages and am not disappointed. I feel the same way about my folks. No matter what they did, I still have that childhood ‘because they are my parents’ love for them, but because they will never be brave and honest it shrinks day by day and I’m jealous of you over that.”

“Jealous? Why?”

“They have not, and will not apologize for what they did. They still blame me for just existing. At least you’ve got that from her. And look, she says she wants to be in your lives, but on your terms, so why don’t you guys come to the house for the weekend? I have me an idea, as there’s some folks she needs to meet.”

LYNETTE AND OLIVER’S HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER

KITCHEN

Lindsey's doing a very good impression of a newly landed fish. “You want me to do what?”

“Look after Baggie and Baloo for the weekend whilst Justin and I are away.” I repeat. “Gus and Jenny will be there to assist, but since you are going to be in their lives more, they need to get to know you.”

“Which one doesn’t understand discipline?” She looks queasier as I snort. 

“Neither, but Baggie is worse. Baloo at least has some restraint. But at least Slick and Polo, will be here on Sunday. For such a big dog Polo is a cutie and so gentle with Annabee, so he will be fine for you, Pretty Whimsy.”

“You know about that?” She blushes. 

“She’s our goddaughter, remember?” I sit next to her. “When we first found out about her, I really did think that…”

“I had wondered why she told me about Annabee. There was no reason to, but her protection of you was always paramount. I knew she replaced me a long time ago, but having to finally face the reality of that when I came back hurt. But she deserves to be where she is in your lives.”

I frown. “I don’t understand.”

She sighs. “Because the three of them have something in common; Gus, Justin and Slick, the ease with which you love them...because they simply love you.” I give this some thought, then nod. “I remember when you came to see Gus to tell him he was going to fly out to see you on his first solo journey. I wanted to go with him, but, for once, you and Mel were in agreement. It was just going to be Gus.” She starts to laugh. “Surely, you remember Michael crowing that it was going to be great just the boys all together? But then Gus pricked his balloon when he suggested that Michael fly over to Canada with you, then stay so that he could spend quality time with Jenny and I since Mel was going to be at the Public Law Conference for a week, then we would all spend the second week together.” I raise an eyebrow. “What?”

“I think it started then, the need to know. I mean, I always told you about my sex life, but Slick, I didn’t want to share with you. And then when he found out that Emmett knew about ‘him’, he was furious, especially when he realised who it was. She wouldn’t give an inch once her mind was made up, and wouldn’t suffer his fuckery.”

“And her getting a nickname, when he didn’t, put his nose out of joint. That was one thing they agreed on: she hated being called Duchess at first, so Michael encouraged people not to use it…”

“He did have a nickname, it was Limpet, and that was only because Slick asked them to be polite.” She looks confused. “It was Limpdick.” She claps her hands over her mouth, then is rocking back and forth with laughter. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Mel...” She hiccups. “...Mel g-g-gave him that!” She hoots. “Referencing how long it took him to…”

“Yeah, got it!” I smile. “Lindsay, you know I forgive you, right? We both do, but I need to check something. With everything you’ve done with Nancy, are you happy?”

“No, I am more than happy, I am free. We have our first appointment with Alex at the end of next week.” 

“Good. I’m glad.” We sit in silence for a while. “So want some tips?” I was still laughing on the drive home at the speed with which she grabbed her iPad.

End of flashback

JUSTIN

“Put the platter down and get in.” I order. He doesn’t take long, but then I have a thought and look up at him. “What didn’t you tell her?” 

“I’ve no idea what you mean.” He snickers, before starting to massage my hand.

EMS’S COTTAGE - NEXT MORNING

KITCHEN

LINDSAY

“Say something.” Gus places the coffee in front of me. Of all the things I thought he was going to say to me when they came for breakfast, this was not it.

“Are...are you serious, you want me to do this?”

“Yes…” Gus replies. “...but we have to have counselling as well. Not with Dad, just you, me and Jenny.” 

I look at who I have a chance of making my son and daughter again. “Yes, I would love to work towards getting my rights back.”