CHAPTER 46 - COMEDY OF TERROR AND ERRORS

BRIAN AND JUSTIN’S NEW HOME - TEN MINUTES LATER

FOYER

VANCE

It’s not as fancy as I thought it would be. Adjusting the jacket, I look down at Zaden. I nudge her hard and she groans. “Wake and sit up!” I snap. It takes a few minutes, but she does as she’s told.

“Where am I? Where’s Archie?”

“Britin II. I guess you could call it and him collateral damage.” I sneer. “Now don’t look at me like that…” I wave her gun at her. “...now you need to do my bidding, first by calling Justin Taylor-Kinney and getting him and his husband here, and secondly…”

“Um, nope.” She replies, clearly unaware of what I am wearing.

“If you had let me finish, or I will shoot you and call them myself.”

“Why not do that anyway? Also, you didn’t have to kill Archie.”

“Felt like it, and besides, I’ve always, and I mean always, wanted to give you a smack.” 

She nods as she, surprisingly, takes off her jacket.

“It would be a shame to have to kill your baby, but to watch you watch it die that would be funny.” I cock my head to one side. “What was that noise?” 

“No idea.” She replies before gesturing to the phone. “You want me to call them?”

“Ah, you now understand your predicament. I will hold it, you dial and keep nice and jovial.”

“Hey, Zee, how you doing?”

“Am okay, where are you guys? We need to discuss the security for this place.”

“”Hahaha - ah” Is suddenly yelped, followed by the sound of kissing. 

“Uh, boys - go have a  quick shower and get here in the next half an hour.” 

“Okay, later.” Justin shouts out and they hang up.

“Half an hour!” He explodes. “I need them here, correction, you need them here now!”

“Look, I…”

“There it is again!”

“There’s what again?” She frowns. 

“It sounds like someone is creeping about upstairs, let’s go see. You in front, of course.”

“Of course.” She leads me up the stairs; we check each and every room and my blood boils as they are perfectly decorated. In each and everyone room, there is a piece of his artwork, but then we come up against a locked door.

“Open it.” I order.

ZEE

“I can’t, it’s their Toy Room. They’re the only ones with keys. Nobody but them in there.”

“Really? Well we will soon see about that” He smirks, looking at his watch. 

“Hey, Zee, where are you?!” Brian yells out as the front door opens. 

“That was quick.” I muse, she is nonplussed. “Let’s go greet my guests, shall we?” 

“I’m here, and…”

“Hi, Vance.” Justin steps out from behind Brian and, like him, he has a gun. 

“I would put that down, if you're lucky you could hit Zee. I have a gun at her back and won’t miss, so I suggest that you put...”

“Drew! Why did you bring that one?!” The slightly frosty tones of Ems bounce off the walls.

“What’s wrong with it?!” Drew replies, slightly offended.”It’s my favourite gun, you gave it to me!”

I know, darling, but the whole point of Walthers is that they are returned to the special services. These are antiques, two of a kind, we have one each. I’m not sure where you were when Zee explained what happens to the guns, but long story short, all guns found on the premises are kept by the specialist's services as evidence, especially if you fire it.”

“Oh shit, seriously?” Drew exclaims. 

“Yep” Blake replies. “Ted, you’ve got your spare, haven’t you? 

“Of course, sweetie. Drew, drop it out of the window. One of the boys will put it in the car for you?” 

“Thanks, Ted, won’t be long. Don’t start anything without me!” Drew bellows before we hear him running; he's not gone long. “Right, where were we?”

“One gun, one hostage sitiuation, and Vance wants to fuck Justin in the Toy Room whilst Brian watches.” Faal explains.

“Where are you?! Where are you all?! Is this a recording? It has to be, you’re trying to trick me!” Vance demands, I smirk at the quaver in his voice.

“Emmy Lou, could you do the honours, please?” Justin calls out.

“Bullshit! This is...aaaaoiee!” Vance screams then he falls backwards. “My arm! My arm!” He shrieks as one of Emmy’s knives is embedded between his shoulder joint and his clavicle.

“Oh shit! Wrong arm!” Ems quails, Vance stops his groaning and lifts his gun arm and pulls the trigger. 

“Ouch, forgot how much that stings!” I gripe, whilst rubbing my back; Vance just gapes at me. 

“Loaded with blanks.” I explain staring  down at him before kneeling to check his shoulder. “Nice placing, Ems!” I open his jacket, then start to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” He groans.

“The lamentable attempt at the bomb vest. Faal, can you come look at this?!” 

VANCE

I am in so much pain, but that is replaced by blind panic as I take in the looks on the faces of Brian, Justin and especially Faal, as they approach. “Where's the dead man's finger?” Justin frowns. “That’s basic, just basic.”

“Can you disarm that?” Zee asks Faal.

“Let me see: he clobbers you, dumps you in the boot of a car, shoots you in the back thinking that he is killing our child, and you want me to disarm this?”

“Yes, please, if you could.” She smiles at him. “Besides, he was so wired that he missed, so I just dropped to get this stupidity over with. It was Brain’s idea.”

“I thought that the more wires there were, the better!” I snicker. “You just need to pick wisely!!

“Guys, come on down!” Justin calls out, and everyone joins us in the foyer. “Get behind the perimeter, I don't think that has much of a blast zone.”

“What are you talking about?!” I try to sit up, but Brian presses me back down by applying his foot to my injured shoulder. “ This is not the way to get the answer, Kinney!”

“Once again, Taylor-Kinney, come on guys, let’s go!” I watch, astounded, as they all troop out.

“Send it in!” Faal bellows. There is a rumble, and through the door comes a robot. Faal chuckles. “Oh, did you think I was going to stay with you? Silly man. Now, it is you who has to guide Brian wisely, isn’t it?” 

“Brian?” I gasp. “Why?”

“Out of the two of us, he’s the better option.”

“Don't you mean three of you?” I point at Justin, hoping to stall a bit.

“No, he just wants to shoot you, we want to make you suffer first.” Brian sneers before shutting the door so it is just me and the robot. 

I now regret setting this up when very high, as I can’t remember which is the detonator wire and which one shuts it off!