Chapter 18

Everyone was sitting around the table in Debbie's house for their usual Sunday dinner. They always had dinner at Debbie's house together and over the last couple of months their group had grown. By now the usual crowd at the dinner would be Debbie and Carl, Brian and Justin, Melanie, Lindsay and Gus, Michael, Ben and Hunter as well as Emmett and his boyfriend Drew and Ted and his boyfriend Blake. By now they were also joined at the dinner by Justin's mother and his sister, which made for quite the crowd that met every Sunday in Debbie's small kitchen and living-room.

Nobody minded though that they all had to squeeze into the small house, they all enjoyed this weekly ritual and coming together and Debbie just loved cooking for her family and seeing them all together. And usually they would only have to squeeze for dinner anyway as their large group would quickly break up into smaller groups afterwards.

They had just settled down for dinner, everyone watching as a happy, almost three year old Gus was telling his mothers some stories after having just spent the weekend with his Daddy and Justin. They had taken him to the zoo and he was beyond excited to tell everyone about all the animals he had seen there.

“Mommy, the 'lefan is sooooooo big. It 'as a big nose,” Gus excitedly exclaimed as he moved his arms apart to show his mothers how big the elephant's trunk had been.

“Remember, Gus? It's called a trunk,” Brian reminded his son with a gentle smile and the small boy looked over to his father with a wide smile.

“Righ', Daddy... a trunk,” he repeated after his father, before he turned back to his mothers. “And it is very, very big.”

“Looks like you had a great time at the zoo, huh?” Lindsay smiled at her son and ran a hand through his hair.

The young boy clapped excitedly and nodded. “Yay!”

Melanie looked over to her girlfriend and her son with loving eyes and smiled at the boy's enthusiasm. She then grabbed Lindsay's hand and turned her attention to the adults at the table.

“Well, Lindsay and I had a nice weekend as well and... we have an announcement to make.”

Everyone eyed her curiously and even Gus had stopped with his exclamations about his trip to the zoo when he had noticed how everyone had turned quiet and was looking at his mommies. So he looked at them as well.

“During our weekend away, I have asked Lindsay to marry me and...,” Melanie turned to her girlfriend and smiled at her from loving eyes.

Lindsay took over then. “And I have said yes!”

“We are going to get married!” They exclaimed together and the whole table erupted into surprised outbursts.

“What?” Wow!” “Oh my god, a wedding!” “How romantic!” Could be heard in Debbie's house and Debbie was the first to get up from her seat and walk over to the two women and engulf them in a crushing hug. “Congratulations, you two! That is amazing! A wedding!”

Everyone soon followed suit and congratulated the girls on their upcoming nuptials. Poor Gus was slightly confused by what was going on, but stayed calm when his daddy picked him up and held him close. “You hear that, sonny boy? Your mommies are going to get married.”

“Mar'id?” Gus asked confused, not able to pronounce that difficult word or understand what his father was talking about. His speaking had improved a lot in recent months and Gus had a rather big vocabulary for a boy his age by now, but that word hadn't made it in there yet.

Brian nodded at his son, a big smile on his face. He was happy for his friends and quickly went over to them with Gus, wishing them all the best for their upcoming nuptials. He knew how much they loved each other and he knew they would be very happy. He himself didn't think much of marriage, if he was honest with himself. After all the only marriage he had really seen, his parent's marriage, had been a disaster and had made his life a living hell and it wasn't as if marriage was ever an option for him anyway, so what was the point thinking about it too much, but he could understand why it was important to certain people and he could understand why it would mean a lot to Lindsay and Melanie. To them getting married would probably make them even more of a real family than they already were.

“Say 'Congratulations, mommy and mama,'” Brian directed the small boy in his arms and Gus tried to copy his father's words as well as he could at his age, which made his mothers smile at him. Lindsay took him from Brian and held him close, smiling widely. Everyone hugged and Gus giggled, happy to be caught between all the adults that were hugging. He loved the attention and apparently so did his mother. Lindsay was beyond happy and very excited to finally marry her partner of more than ten years.

The whole family decided that the announcement of the upcoming nuptials deserved a celebration and Ben and Emmett quickly left the house for a bit to organise some champagne so they could all celebrate in style.

When Brian and Justin finally made their way home to the Loft it was way past midnight already. Justin had been rather quiet on the way home, but Brian had just figured that he was probably tired.

They had a quick shower during which they gave each other outstanding blowjobs, before they settled in bed, Justin resting his head on Brian's chest, listening to his boyfriend's heartbeat. This had become his favourite position and if Brian was honest with himself, he quite liked it as well. It was nice to have Justin that close and to feel the connection with him. Often Justin would start lazily running his hand over Brian's stomach and Brian loved those gentle touches more than he would ever admit to anyone.

Just knowing that this man at his side loved him still amazed him at times, but every time he felt Justin's gentle fingers roam over his chest and stomach, he was glad for it. He loved Justin more than he would ever be able to express with words and he was glad that Justin had decided that Brian was worthy of his love,

“That was quite the surprise, huh? I didn't expect them to get engaged,” Brian said quietly, enjoying Justin's gentle touches.

“Yeah, me neither... I didn't think they would care much for marriage. They have been together so long already and I have never heard them talk about it before,” Justin mused, never stopping his caress of Brian's upper body.

After their blowjobs in the shower earlier, they were both rather satisfied for the moment and they both knew the gentle caress wouldn't turn into anything more at the moment. They had had quite a good session of afternoon sex when Gus had had his nap earlier and they had made the best of the time the tyke had been out.

“I guess they either didn't care before or maybe it just came up between the two of them,” Brian mused, gently kissing Justin's blond mop of hair. “I am happy for them.”

“Me too,” Justin agreed, before he lifted his head. “Have you ever thought about getting married?”

Brian frowned, wondering why Justin was asking that. “No,” he answered honestly, seeing the disappointed look on his boyfriend's face.

“Not once?”

“Not really... It wasn't like I had much reason to. My parents' marriage was a disaster and it's not like it would ever be an option for me anyway... so why waste my breath on thinking about what can never be anyway?”

Justin looked at Brian from sad eyes, but in the end nodded, understanding where the older man was coming from. “I always dreamed of having this big wedding one day, where all the people I loved would be there and would be happy for me. You know? The whole thing... the vows, the rings, the suits, all of it. And then I'd get this amazing honeymoon afterwards where I'd have sex for a week or two straight...”

Brian couldn't help but laugh at what Justin was saying. “You don't need to be married to have sex for a week or two straight.”

“I guess not,” Justin agreed with a mischievous smile, knowing that he and Brian had had their fair share of sex marathons that would sometimes last days on end where they wouldn't leave the loft at all and none of their friends would see them.

“We should offer to watch Gus for a bit, so the girls can have a nice honeymoon and can have some time to themselves,” Brian suggested and Justin looked at him from wide eyes.

“Are you openly supporting them having lesbian sex? I thought the pure thought of it made you feel weird because no dick was involved,” Justin joked, knowing very well how Brian loved to tease especially Melanie about how disgusting lesbian sex was. The lawyer would give back as good as she got however, claiming that just the thought of a dick anywhere close to her was making her sick. It was a usual banter that had developed between Brian and Melanie over the last two years they had known each other and for Justin it was always amusing to watch.

“It does and I don't want my sonny boy exposed to that. We have to save him from endless dickless sex,” Brian explained with his trademark Kinney smirk on his face.

“I am sure they would be very grateful for an offer like that,” Justin mused, thinking about Brian's idea. “We could maybe make that our wedding present.”

“I don't think you're gonna get off that easily. They probably expect us to take care of Gus, claiming it will be our duty as his fathers... You'll still have to get them a real present.”

“What do you get two lesbians for their wedding?”

“A vibrator so the honeymoon will be more exciting?” Brian suggested with another smirk and Justin cracked up.

“God, you are hopeless,” Justin laughed, leaning over to kiss Brian gently. When Justin had calmed down, he turned more serious as he leaned in once more for another quick peck. “I would marry you, you know? In an instant.”

Brian looked at Justin and saw how serious his boyfriend was. He saw his sincerity in his eyes and he also saw a certain kind of sadness that he didn't like seeing. “You've thought about this wedding thing a lot, huh?”

Justin shrugged. “Growing up, when I was a teenager, having my crush on you, I was imagining us walking down the aisle in these amazing designer suits, looking absolutely fabulous and having the most romantic wedding this planet has ever seen.”

“Sounds nice,” Brian whispered and Justin just nodded, resting his head on Brian's shoulder once more, entwining their fingers on Brian's stomach.

“Hmmm,” Justin agreed. “You would have prepared these ridiculous romantic vows in which you declared your undying love for me and told everyone how much you loved me and how much I meant to you and of course that would make me cry and I'd make a real fool of myself in front of everyone because you had turned me into a sobbing mess, but I wouldn't care because what you said would be soooo romantic and it would be all I could care about. And then it would be my turn and I'd still be a mess and I'd make it through my vows somehow which obviously would be just equally amazing and romantic and you, being you, you'd just stand there, smiling down at me, obviously not having turned into a mess like me, but being all cool and sexy and then we'd exchange our rings and have this amazing first kiss as a married couple.”

Brian chuckled at the image Justin had created and squeezed the hand in his. “You really gave this some thought, huh?”

Justin shrugged. “It was one of my dreams growing up. Obviously it had to be perfect.”

“You know it's never going to happen,” Brian said seriously, never letting go of the fingers that were entwined with his. “I can never give you that.”

“Brian,” Justin whispered, raising his head so his eyes could meet Brian's. “I didn't tell you this to make you feel bad.”

“I know,” Brian nodded, looking at his younger boyfriend, whose gaze was so sincere. “I am just saying... I can never make your dream come true.”

“You made a lot of other dreams come true. I don't care about this one,” Justin declared hotly.

“You shouldn't have to give up your dreams because of me,” Brian whispered, looking at Justin from sad eyes. “You deserve to have all your dreams come true and... I should be the one making them come true.”

“You did just listen to me, didn't you? When I said you made a lot of my other dreams come true?” Justin asked, looking at Brian from serious eyes. “I also wanted to become the person to find the cure for aids and cancer and I wanted to become incredibly rich, so I could buy all these slaves and they would have a better life... I had many dreams growing up that don't really matter that much anymore or where I've realised that making them come true is not really doable. That is just one of them.”

“You would deserve to have them all come true,” Brian said sincerely, pulling the younger man closer and Justin leaned into the older man's body, leaving tender kisses on his chest before he spoke next.

“What about your dreams?”

“What about them?”

“You must have had dreams growing up. Hell, even now...”

Brian shrugged nonchalantly. “It doesn't really matter, does it? I learned a long time ago that dreams are just that: dreams. They will never come true for people like me, so there is no point hanging on to them. Wishing what could be, knowing that it will never be, is really depressing. It's easier if you just don't wish and accept your reality.”

“That is awfully depressing,” Justin muttered, his heart breaking once again for his partner. He knew that Brian was happy with him, he knew that Brian loved being Gus' father and loved the small boy. He knew that Brian loved what they had and their family and friends, but despite all that, they would never be able to completely shake the reality of their situation. It was always there, ready to rear its ugly head and no matter how often Justin wished it wouldn't, no matter how often Justin wished that Brian could just have a normal life, like he would deserve, he knew that was not their reality.

In the beginning he had tried to fight it and there had been many arguments between him and Brian about their situation, but with time he had come to accept why Brian was seeing things the way he did. After everything he had been through, he couldn't even blame the brunet. He really couldn't. By now they would sometimes talk about the reality of their situation, but they would hardly fight about it anymore. As long as the laws didn't change, their situation was what it was, no matter how much Justin might want it to change. Brian having been a slave for most of his life had accepted that sad truth a long time ago while Justin had still struggled with it. Over time he had however come to realise that accepting it made their lives a lot easier. As fucking sad and depressing as that was.

“Welcome to the life of a slave,” Brian muttered.

“You know, you could have replied with 'But you made some of my dreams come true' instead... that would have been a bit more uplifting,” Justin pointed out dryly.

“Hey, you know you did,” Brian whispered, looking into the sad, blue eyes of his partner. “You are my one dream come true. Never ever doubt that!”

“Better,” Justin whispered back, his eyes still betraying the sadness he felt for his partner and their situation however.

“You are the one good thing that has ever happened to me in this fucked up life... Well, you and Gus... sorry, but you'll have to share. You are one of two good things that have ever happened to me in this fucked up life,” Brian said seriously, holding Justin's gaze.

“Maybe it's a good thing we can't get married,” Justin mused. “You would seriously have to work on your vows. They need a lot of improvement to get to what I was dreaming about to hear from you.”

This time it was Brian's turn to crack up. Trust Justin to break the tension and make him laugh despite the topic of conversation.

“You are amazing,” Brian whispered, leaning in to kiss Justin once more. God, he would never get enough of that mouth.

“I know, right? It's too bad that so many people don't realise it,” Justin winked, playfully starting to nibble on Brian's lower lip. “But I love you for realising it.”

“And I love you for just being you,” Brian whispered. “You are making me happier than I ever dreamed I could be. Than I ever hoped I could be.”

“Dito.”

“Did you seriously just dito me?”

Justin frowned, but nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“That's such a Patrick Swayze thing to say,” Brian replied, but when he saw Justin's confused expression, he just looked at his boyfriend in shock. “You have never seen Ghost?”

“Uhm, no...,” Justin frowned, not sure what Brian was talking about.

“Okay, it's a good thing I can't marry you. I could never be married to someone who has not seen Patrick Swayze say Dito.”

“You do realise that Ghost came out when I was like 6 or something?”

“Ugh, you really had to go and point out how young you are, didn't you?”

“Hey, it's not my fault that you and Michael jerked off to a guy that wasn't really all that famous anymore when I started jerking off.”

“Stop talking... you're totally making me ask right now why I am even here,” Brian joked and Justin looked at him with mock outrage.

“Take that back!” Justin urged, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Make me,” Brian teased, his eyes shining with the love he felt for the younger man.

“Oh, I will,” Justin grinned when he realised where this was going and leaned down for another kiss. This time less chaste and way more passionate.

Soon after both men were heavily panting as they recovered from a lovefest like one they had rarely had before. So much for wanting a quiet night in bed, Justin mused as he watched Brian roll over, carefully taking off his condom.

“You remember now why you're here?” Justin asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes and Brian turned back to him, tenderly caressing his cheek and his chin.

“Yeah...something about loving you like crazy and you being the best thing in my life,” he whispered and Justin smiled up at him from loving eyes.

“One of the two best things,” he reminded Brian, his eyes still shining. “I don't mind sharing with Gus.”

“One of the two best things,” Brian agreed, leaning down for some lazy kissing.

Once they had cleaned themselves up, they settled into their usual sleeping position once more.

“I really would marry you in an instant,” Justin whispered, his voice sounding sleepy. Brian knew he was already drifting off and would be asleep soon.

“So would I,” Brian replied after several minutes, thinking that Justin had already fallen asleep and wouldn't hear him anymore. “Without hesitation.”

But the younger man had still heard him and he leaned in even closer, which seemed almost impossible with how closely their bodies were already connected to acknowledge that he had heard what his partner had said.