MICHAEL

“So the dogs, are they safe?” I ask Jewel, who has not stopped frowning at me for the last few minutes.

“You know, I have seen you before but I can’t quite place you. As for the dogs, yes, they are. Jay, I mean, Justin and I picked them together. He is a furball freak.”

Again with the cute blushing.

“What’s your favourite animal then, Jay? Can I call you Jay?”

“It’s Justin now that I am here. Jay has bad memories for me.” He looks so sad.

“Why?” Ma asks, ever curious. Well, she says curious, I say nosy, but for once she is using that for good purposes..

“That’s what my ex used to call me. Especially when he was being…”

“An asslicker and not in a good way.” Pearl snickers, everyone but me smiles.

“You have some choice language there for one so young.” I point out.

“Say it as I see it.” Pearl shrugs. “Besides, with these two for folks, forthright is all I am going to be. No point in pussying about, why use four words when two will do.”

“And you’ve used your one already, so no more.” Jewel berates her.

“How old are you as a matter of interest?” Carl asks; I still refuse to think of him as my father in any shape, way or form. Same for Brandon as my brother, unless I can gain something.

“Going to be 16 in July. Oh, want to come to my party, Gus? Hunter? Jenny?”

“Oh how nice of you to think of Gus!” Lindsay exclaims. “He’d be…”

“RSVPing when he is good and ready and not before.” Brian interrupts.

“But I was thinking of taking him away for a couple of weeks, so would need to know the dates at least.”

“Lindsay, don’t you think…” Brian begins, starting to look annoyed.

“Mom, Dad, me and Justin will discuss it first - not sure on dates, I know that he has a show to do, and…”

“A show? Beautiful and talented.” I interrupt. “So what is it that you show, Justin?”

“He's an artist.” Brian smiles at him. Oh no you don't, there is no way you are using your dubious charm and bought teeth to get in my way! “A very talented one at that. He’s got a piece of work to do for his Mom and me, but then he has to go back to painting.”

“Really? Anything I would've seen?” Lindsay asks. “I am very well known in the Pittsburgh art scene.”

“Not sure. I was living in Cali at the time, and all my art was there, so unless you came there I doubt it.”

“Try me, it might be amusing.” She titters.

“Amusing?” Jewel demands. “Why would it be amusing to find out about the artwork of my best friend?”

“Yes, Lindsay, please elucidate to Pearl's mother, who is in charge of the guest list, why that would be funny.” Brian snipes, and Lindsay flinches slightly. “And besides, you have already admired one of his pieces, it’s the one in my office. I must get you to sign that actually.”

“Amusing was a slip of the tongue, a little joke.” Lindsay backtracks. Jewel scowls at her but says nothing. “I apologise.”

“Oh you are sorry, that's true.” Jewel holds Lindsay's gaze.

Note to self, need to get on the right side of the Amazonian!

“Shall we start before the food goes cold?” Carl suggests as Jewel continues to glare. “Jewel, want to showcase your talents and do the wine?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. So I snuck a looksee at the menu. For the scallops, I chose a...oh hang on...Ems, aren’t we due a restock of your friend’s wine?”

“Oh yes we are! So when can we come round and check out the cellar?”

“Check out the cellar? I don’t quite foll...oh you are kidding me?!” Mel gasps and looks between Ems and Jewel. “You? You are the friend who does the recommendations for Ems? That Riesling was gorgeous, goes perfectly with the schnitzel he loves, and he is not a fan of white. Says it is like vinegar!”

“You are taking that job, Jewel!” Brian chuckles. “Can't believe my cellar has been being curated by the great Jewel Johnson!

“Job? What job? As the sommelier at Woody’s?!” Ems squeals. “Yes, you must! Now, back to cellar…”

“Last time wasn't me.” Jewel has a sly smile. “That was my nubile apprentice. Well, not all of it, he did half…”

“Was it?” Brian looks impressed. I do not like that look that was exchanged between Brian and Justin! “Which half?”

“Red. Like you, I prefer that to white, though I'm not adverse to a nice chilled Boeschandal.”

“Ah, now that is my sipping red. So luscious and beautiful.”

“Oh mine is Apothic Dark. Now that is…”

“Dark? Now is it the kind of wine you drink during a stormy night?” Emmett rests his chin on his hand and smiles at Justin who goes pink again. “Oh, that is a yes, so put at least twelve of those down.”

“Speaking of Woody's, when is that going to open?” I ask, smiling. “Maybe, Justin, you and I could go to the opening to support my brother.”

“He is already going.” Jewel states, then tastes the scallops that Ma prepared. “Okay, pass me the vintage burgundy, Ems.” She pours a glass then hands both the plate and glass to Mel with a smile. “Thoughts?”

Mel takes her time savouring them before pausing and staring at Ma. “Oh...?! Are  you kidding?!” She eats some more looking very happy.

“Care to share, Mel?” Lindsay prompts.

“No.” She returns before turning back to Ma. “You cooked this from scratch?” Ma nods and frowns. “But how? That’s not possible, you weren’t there.”

“Honey, what is it?” Ma asks.

“This is the exact same dish I had when I first met Jewel! The exact same! And this is the wine that Jewel and I swapped for when the senior male partner tried to play cock of the walk, and…”

“Got castrated.” Justin chuckles. “I remember that!”

“Can you shed some light on why this dish is so important?” Carl frowns.

“Because the chef is notorious for not sharing recipes, he doesn’t even have a cookbook deal, he cooks intuitively. So how did you…”

“My Debs is well known in the family for recreating any dish you care to tell her. Just describe it and she can do it perfectly!” Carl boasts.

“And what was the second dish you ordered, Mel?” Jewel turns to Justin. “Before she answers. You would know it, so can we taste it, Debs?” Ma gets Justin a plate and we are all silent as he eats. The smile he has on his face when he finishes could light up the darkest part of hell. “It’s spot on, isn’t it?”

“Yep.” He nods and then looks longingly at the chicken.

“Let me get you another piece. Are you a breast man?” I get up and stride towards the platters.

“No, he’s all about the thighs.” Emmett laughs. “You eat breast, which is shameful for a gay man!”

“Emmett, stop being a bitch!” I snap, embarrassed as I meant to say thigh!

“Hey! Don’t call my friend a bitch!” Justin snarls, much to the surprise of everyone.

“It was a little joke between friends, and…” I start to backtrack. Oh, that little kitty has claws!

“You’re not his friend, and until you are, don’t try to be mine!” Justin snaps back, then glares at me. “Well, get on with it?”

“So you want me to pick your food?”

“No, you idiot, I want you to apologise to Emmett for calling him a bitch! As for food, I can serve myself. Heaven knows where your fingers have been, but I do know where they haven't been. They haven’t been near a tap since you got here, and you went to the bathroom twice!”

“Jesus, Michael!” Ben grimaces. “Just buy a mini bottle of sanitiser and stick it in your fuck pack with the lube and extra thick condoms, you know, the ones that give you the illusion of girth! Now go and wash your hands then sit back down!”

“You don’t tell me what to do! We are over, remember?! Besides, you don't know how thick I am because you would never let me top you!” I shout at him, my face flaming.

“Because you were never clean!” Ben blasts. “I was not willing to take a chance on my health because you couldn’t be bothered to run some water over your hands. Besides your approach to finishing pissing was to shake it off!”

“Oh gross!” Gus exclaims. “I told you, Momma! I told you those weren’t me!”

“Everyone stop!” Carl booms, and for once I am grateful for his interference. “Michael, go and wash your hands with soap and water. This is supposed to be a time for reconnecting as family and friends! When you get back, Michael, you will apologise to Emmett then…”

“You don’t to tell me what to do! You are not my father!” I storm at him.

“And as of Monday, you won't be mine!” Jenny shouts, rendering the diner completely quiet and I swallow hard.

“What does that mean?” Carl demands, but before I can reply he holds up his hand. “I am asking you, Jenny, what does that mean?”

“He doesn’t want to be a dad anymore, and on Monday he is giving up his rights. He can’t be with someone who doesn't like the same things that he does. Also, he is fed up with being something for someone else and wants to be him for him…”

“Are you kidding me with this, Michael? You are giving up your rights because she doesn’t play your way?!” Ma demands.

“It’s not like that! You make it sound so callous and unfeeling towards…”

“It is! It is callous and unfeeling, and I know you, I have for years sadly...” Mel interrupts and stares hard. “...this is not a Michael thing, this is a guy thing. So he doesn’t like kids or, like you with Ben over Hunter, doesn’t want to share?” I am on fire with embarrassment. I had hoped to just get my rights revoked and not have to deal with the real reasoning why! “Don’t you think she deserves to know the truth?!”

Everyone is staring at me, I make my way back to my seat and take a sip of water to cool myself. “It’s not that he doesn’t want kids, but he would prefer that I focus...”

“You have a boyfriend and were trying to get into my pants?!” Justin scowls at me. “Even if you were single, two things: one, you are so not my type. I prefer taller and more tyrannical. And, second, I love kids and for you to throw one over for a guy is just despicable.”

“I am not throwing her over. I will still be her father, but in name only.”

“Oh, it’s the financial responsibility you don’t want?!” Ted explodes, startling everyone.

“Ted, this is nothing to do with…”

“She is my goddaughter, it is everything to do with me! Right, I will be there on Monday. If you are amenable, Mel, I will take over the financial responsibility for her!”

BRIAN

This surely is not happening?! I risk a look at Mel, and she looks like the weight of a million tons is about to be lifted off her shoulders, but then I see the look on Lindsay's face. She has the money look. Oh no my dear, you are not about to do that!

“Ted…” I will Mel not to say anything. “...this is a big responsibility. If you are willing to take financial responsibility, why not go the whole hog and adopt her?” I spot the moment that Mel gets it. “You have always wanted to be a dad, and obviously you won’t stop Ma and Dad from seeing her. In fact, they will see her more and she will be a lot happier.”

“Uncle Ted, would you? Please, will you?!” Jenny pleads.

“Yes Ted, please do.” Lindsay smiles. “She has always admired you. Sorry, Michael, but I have given it some thought and you are…”

“Okay, I will. I will adopt you, Jenny!” Ted exclaims and Jenny leaps across the table to get to him, tears streaming down both their faces. When they calm themselves, Ted sits down and she settles into his lap. “And then your mom and I will work out a residential plan.”

“Residential plan?” Lindsay frowns. “Not sure what you mean. Who is…?

“Oh, stop the crap, Lindsay. Not only am I her godfather, but I am also her confidante, she texted me on the way here to say that, Mel, Gus and she are moving in with Brian because you, Lindsay, have been exerting your it's my house and my way power!”

“What?!” Lindsay gasps, and I have never felt so relieved. The love between Ted and Jenny is so strong and I can’t wait for this to be official! “But you didn't have your phone after you were so rude to me Jenny!”

“No, that’s true, she didn’t have the phone you had Brian buy for her, she has the phone I bought her. I am sick to the back teeth of you, Lindsay. I am glad you have kicked them out.”

“I didn't kick them out, they left! And this is a temporary situation that…”

“Not temporary. We are gone. In fact, Michael, why not move in with her? I am pretty sure that grandma is going to throw you out anyway!” Jenny snarls.

“She is not going to throw you out, Michael.” Dad stuns us all with that. “I am! Get up, you and I are going to go and pack.”

“No, Carl!” Ma exclaims. “I am coming with you!” She turns to Michael. “You heard my husband, get your nasty ass up!” He slowly stands and pulls on his coat and starts to follow them out. “A disgrace a complete disgrace!”

“Oh Michael, one more thing.” Jenny calls out. “I won't be there next Monday, see you next Tuesday OK?”

He just nods and as the door closes Jewel, Pearl, Ems and Ted burst out laughing.

“What?” Lindsay demands. “What is so funny?!”

“Nicely done Jenny. Nicely done.” Mel grins, raises her glass then winks at me.

“Not nicely done.” I raise my glass to her too. “Perfectly done.”