JUSTIN

I ache all over. My mouth tastes and feels terrible, and I can vaguely here the sound of someone calling my name. I open my eye slowly and then close it again. All I care about is that it is not Ethan.

I think it is the next day. I don’t feel so grimy, and slowly I turn my head and look at the figure in the chair. It’s my Mom! I try to speak, but there’s something in my mouth. I can see the alarm button, but can’t move to reach it. I grunt, but she’s asleep or maybe she’s dead! Maybe he killed her?! I can feel my anxiety ratcheting up and then there is the sounds of beeping and the door bursts open.

“Code blue! Code blue!” Someone shouts, and Mom jumps up.

“Justin! Justin! Please, Justin, hang on!”

I try to open my eyes, but I can’t. Then I feel a sharp prick and succumb to darkness once more.

Again, I can hear voices, but this time I am determined to see who it is and where I am. Finally, I open my eyes but everything is blurry and I can't move my hands to rub them.

“How long do you think it has been happening?”

“We don’t know, Aunt Jen. All I know is that Mom got worried when he didn't turn up for his shift without calling.”

I know that voice, it’s Pearl! And she's with my Mom!

“Gnnnnnh!” I growl as loud as I can around whatever is in my mouth.

“What was...oh my god, Justin! Justin honey, are you awake?!” I can feel her hand on my face, but I still can't see her clearly. “Pearl, get some water and a cloth!”

“Mmmm.” I try to speak again.

“Hold on, honey. Let me take the tube out.”

Tube? Why do I have a tube?!  

For what feels like an eternity she painstakingly takes the tube out of my mouth and then helps me to sit up.

“Now rinse, and then you can brush your teeth.”

The feel of the water is like manna from heaven. I take my time savouring its sweetness.

“Put your head back, sweetheart, let me wipe your eyes then I can put in the drops. The doctor said your vision would be affected by the tape.

Tape?!

The feel of the warm cloth again is so good, and when the drops go in I want to cry with relief! In the times I have tried to open them, they were so sore!

“Fully loaded toothbrush, Justin, let me do it.” I feel the bed dip under Pearl’s weight

“My hands...why can't I move them?” I whisper.

“Because he broke them. Ethan broke your hands.” Pearl sniffs. “Now let’s brush, and now that you can speak, you can tell is how long this fucker has been beating you up!”

THREE DAYS LATER

I am so ashamed and have refused to speak to them ever since I woke up. I am pleased that I am no longer in the hospital, and am instead back at my childhood home, and even more relieved that neither Dad nor Molly are here to witness my abject humiliation. I am in the sunroom wearing sunglasses as my eyes are still very sensitive, I look down at my casted hands and start to cry.  

“It is such a terrible shame you can't wipe your eyes without help!” Pearl snaps and pulls off the sunglasses. “At least he didn't hit you anywhere people can see! Let me know when to wipe!” I try to stop crying in the face of her fury and coldness, but I can't. She sighs and sits down next to me. “Let it out, Justin, let it all out.”

An hour later I have finally stopped and she gently wipes my eyes. I sniff so she helps me blow my nose, grimacing at the amount of tissues I go through.

“In the first month, it was fine…” She freezes but says nothing so I continue. “...I would get the occasional bitchy remark, but put that down to frustration that his music wasn't taking him…”

“Out of the gutter where he belonged?!” Pearl bites out and I can't help it, I chuckle a little but then the pain takes my breath away. “Yeah, did your ribs too, but he didn't rape you or anything like that, just kicked you around like a football. Gagged you to keep the noise down, and used a bat on your hands. Broke your left wrist and all the fingers on your right hand.”

I just stare at her.

“The bruises have really faded back. Luckily, you being asleep for so long gave your body time to heal. Sorry, you were saying?”

“He used a baseball bat on me?!” I feel the nausea rushing up my throat. Luckily she gets out of the way.

“Urrrgh! Couldn't you just burst into tears again?!” She squeals. “Aunt Jen, he's chucked up!”

“Be right there!” Mom shouts back.

An hour later I am clean, and for the first time in days seeing everything clearly. “I am sorry I didn't tell you, but I was too ashamed and too...uh, Pearl, where’s your Mom? Heard you say she got worried when I didn’t turn up. Is she okay? Pearl, tell me where Jewel is!”

“Finishing off her community service for destruction of property.” She grimaces then sighs. “Took the hit for me.”

“Took the hit? What hit? Someone explain.”

“When we found you and got you to hospital, for the first two weeks it was...”

“Two weeks?! How long was I in hospital for?!”

“Just under three months.” Mom puts the bucket on my lap. “Like Pearl said, he kicked you like a football and…”

“I get it.” I whisper.

“No you don't get it!” Pearl snaps, and stands in front of me. “Jewel, your best friend and my Mom, told the courts that she took the baseball bat to his car and violin, but I did. She didn't tell them why she did it and the shithead not turning up helped.”

“Where is she?!” I demand.

“Like I said, finishing off her community service in West Virginia. Today is her last day. She should be back…”

“Right now.” I turn to the voice of my dearest friend. “Well you look like shit. Better shit than before but like shit!”

“Jewel!” I try to stand, but Mom holds me down. “Tell me what happened!”

“You were late. You are never late without explanation so I went to the apartment. The lights were off and his dickmobile wasn't there. I called your cell and I could hear it ringing. You don't go anywhere without it, so I got a neighbour to buzz me in.” She pauses and waves Mom away so she can sit next to me. “He left you there. I found you in the bedroom. He beat you and left you, didn't even lock the door.” I start to tear up. “Neighbour said he left half an hour earlier, and…”

“I was leaving him.” I interrupt, but they look sceptical. “He’s been having an affair and I overheard him arranging a fuckdate in the bathroom stall of the restaurant just after our date. I didn't say anything, not wanting to cause a scene…”

“And look where that got you!” Pearl bites out.

“Hey! It's fucking hard to walk away from things! Especially when you are alone and…”

“Have two legs and common fucking sense!” A voice I think I recognise interrupts my justification. I stare at him then Mom. “What reasons did he give after the first time? I was just upset. I won't do it again. How many times did he not do it before this one?!”

“Who the hell are you?! You know nothing about this, about my life with him. I doubt you have ever suffered anything like this!”

“Uh, Justin  this is…”

“Someone is hurting you, you get the fuck out! You drop everything and you leave. And like me, you don't know me or my life, but I was six when he first hit me that I remember. You, once again, had two legs and common sense!”

I blink rapidly, I refuse to let this unfeeling asshole see me cry as the truth of his words hit me, I should've left.

“I am not victim shaming you, don't think that, but it makes me so angry that nobody sees the abuser for what they are. They keep up the veneer of respectability. Makes me sick. Look, I hope you get better and move onto a nicer guy. Jewel, Pearl, it has been an absolute pleasure to know you and I mean it about the job. It's yours for the taking.”

The door shuts quietly behind him and for a few long seconds we just stare at it.

“He is so hot!” Pearl sighs bringing us all back in the room. “And Mom, you are taking that job!”

“What job?” I frown.

“He’s opening a restaurant and needs a sommelier.” Jewel adjusts the pillows behind my back. “We moved down to help Jen look after you. She got you transferred home as soon as you were stable enough.”

“And the answer to that question is no.” Pearl declares. “No he hasn't called, but he did visit, while you were hospitalised in Cali to say that this was your fault. To say that if you hadn't agreed to the show and neglected him in favour of your career, then it would not have happened, which is when I lost my shit!”

“My paintings!” I gasp. “What happened to them?!”

“Nothing.” Mom adjusts the blanket. “Charlotte wouldn't let him in your studio, said he looked deranged. We moved them down with you. You have nothing there anymore.”

We are all startled when my phone rings. I look at the ID and to my relief it is Marius Duke, I nod and Mom puts it on speaker. “Justin?! Justin, is that you? Truly you?!”

“Hello  Marius, yes it is me. Look  the show, I can't…”

“Oh, my boy, my dear boy, I know. I know what happened. As for the show, we will wait for you to get better. I am so pleased to hear your voice! When Jewel told me what happened, I couldn't believe it. But you are in a safe place now. You must heal, and…”

“No, Marius, you don't understand. I am not doing the show. I am never painting again.”

“Oh what is this bullshit now?!” The asshole is back and he looks furious. “So you're going to abandon your talent and let him win?!”

“My tal…”

“Jen, I am sorry but you are just not equipped to deal with this. Pearl, get him packed. Jewel, go help, you have an hour. I will be in the car. And you…” He jabs a finger at me. “...are coming to stay with me. You will get better, and you will showcase your goddamn given talent whether you like it or not!”

This time he slams the door, and the whole house seems to shake. “I am not going!” I bellow even though it hurts my throat.

An hour and twenty minutes later I am sitting in the back of his car glaring at Mom, Jewel and Pearl as they wave goodbye and they grinning.

“Comfy?” He asks.

“This is kidnapping!” I retort, and he has the nerve to laugh. “It is!”

“Tisn’t, as you got in the car willingly. So do you want to know?”

“Know what?”

“My name and why I am doing this?”

“No and yes.” Again with the laughter. “I shall call you asshole. So why, asshole, are you doing this?”

“You will call me Brian or Mr Kinney. As for why, I bought one of your paintings, it is in my office. I am going to show the world how good you are by sponsoring that show of yours.”

“You bought one of my paintings?!” I can't believe it.

“Yep. The one with the face but the smile is not right, what's it called?”

“Eccedentesiast. It means…”

“Someone who hides their pain behind a smile. Good name, and I can tell you are proud, it's a start. Get some sleep, it is another hour at least.”

As I close my eyes, for the first time I don't see Ethan in my dreams.