CHAPTER 40 - ANOTHER PARENTAL SHOWDOWN

BRITIN - LATE AFTERNOON

STUDY

BRIAN

I look up at the knocking then the door opens, what comes through makes me smile. An ice cream cone in the hand of a man I have started to more than like. We ended up getting take-out once Craig was caught up, which means that neither of us have to cook for the next couple of days. He had never met Jewel before, having spoken mostly on the phone. He was swiftly taken under her and Pearl’s wing, but the best thing was that he met Emmett and Drew, who could refer him to a good doctor for his leg. He happens to be in Cali, so they are going with him and Mel.  

“Are we sharing that?” I ask, getting my answer when he comes in with two. “Good. But is there any chocolate or caramel sauce left?” 

“Deb’s left the recipe.” He mumbles around his cone, whilst handing me mine. 

“I wondered where you went at the crack of dawn.” I bite down, it is so delicious. “What’s for lunch?”

“Tuna carpaccio with caramelized watermelon. For dinner it’s going to be the ribs with some avocado butter and tortilla chips. Ben and Bran got to the wings and the date pudding before I could, so they’ve taken them.” He looks up at my ahem. “What’s that for?”

“You hid the ribs?” A telling blush. “Which is why they took the rest. You got caught in your own trap.”

“I was kissing you, which meant I forgot about them.” He protests.

“Caught in own trap, but that sounds tasty. Just wondering, as it sounds like a lot of work, if you want some help?”

“Not making it. Jewel and Debs are working on the Babylon menu, we’re a couple of the official testers. Although I have had the butter before, it’s Pearl’s recipe.” He finishes the last of his cone then stares. Unwavering, whilst licking his lips. 

“No.” I assert.

“You’re not going to eat it all. We both know that it will end up back in the freezer, and I will finish it, so to cut the wait…”

“No.” I repeat, leaning back in my seat to see his next plan of ‘attack’ is, for he does have a very sweet tooth. “Tonka and Beam are also fine and don’t need looking at. Your Dad saw to that, remember? Blue Angel, have you ever thought of asking if you could share?”

“I was asking!” He sits in my lap. “Just non-verbally.”

“Verbalise, not…”

“Back at you, what do you mean?” He looks concerned.

“I knew the meaning of every look she would give me. And she got to me when I saw her, and he, Jack, noticed. So, if you want something…”

“May I have some of your cone, please?” He doesn’t reach for it, just waits.

“Yes.” I take another bite, then hand him the rest. He’s right, it would end up back in the freezer. “Enjoy.”

“It’s a habit.” He sighs. I stop him from eating. “I didn’t mean to bring it here...he would do that, give me this look, a look of hope, even though, well you know…” He trails off.

“We’ve got to work on taking him out of your head some more, don’t we? And her out of mine.” He nods before we finish the cone together, tongues slipping and sliding; minutes later, we are making even sweeter love on the sofa.

DINER - AN HOUR LATER

DEBS

“Oh the things I could do with this butter!” I exclaim as I lick the knife whilst Carl looks hopeful. “Which I might not be demonstrating after the shit you pulled.”

“Then stop looking like that’s all you want to do.” Jewel puts the lunch in the cool bag, ready for delivery. “Need to get some blocks, won’t be long Carl.” She smiles.

“Sorry! We’re closed!” I call out as the bell chimes someone’s entry. “Oh great the prodigal returns. What are you doing here Michael?”

“Should’ve flipped the sign and locked up, if that’s the case…” He strolls to the counter. “...I have a date nearby, thought I would stop and say hi. Isn’t that one of the bags from Woody’s?” He peers inside. “Urgh, what’s that?!”

“It’s not locked as I’m going to drop this off at Britin.” Carl replies. “Debs and Jewel are doing a tasting, which they don’t need your help with.”

“Why not?” He complains.

“There are enough tasters. Besides, anyone whose vernacular when it comes to food that is not Italian is ‘urgh what’s that’, is not someone whose opinion I have faith in. The gurning you were doing on Friday almost put some folk off their food!” Ted drawls coming out of the kitchen with the blocks. “Here Jewel.” 

“Thanks Ted. Here you go Carl, all ready for bossman to approve.”

Ted is looking disdainfully at Michael. “You know everyone was relieved when your ‘true father’, as you called him at dinner, just that little bit too loudly, got you to close your mouth when chewing. Quite an achievement, you must want to impress him. But to answer your question, since neither your cleanliness, fidelity, nor parental skills are up to par, we can do without you.”

“You know nothing about fidelity since you are always single!” Michael sneers. “But you do seem to be packing on the pounds. Eating away your loneliness?!”

“Not single.” Ted smirks. “And if being in love with two of the most perfect people in the world, then this is ‘weight’ I am happy to put on.”

“You? In love? Who would love you?” Michael scoffs, before shrinking back as Jewel stands up. 

“It’s okay, Jewel. This has been a long time coming. Blake, my boyfriend, and Jenny, my daughter.”

“Jenny is still the daughter of my heart, she’s just not…”

“From your loins.” Ted spreads the avocado butter on an apple slice. “She’s always been mine. You were never her father.”

MICHAEL

“Yes I was.” I fume. “Jenny and I got distant because…”

“You need to listen to what people are saying, not to spout your justifications.” Ted takes another bite of apple. “She was never yours. I supplied the sample.”

“What do you mean you supplied the sample?” Ma asks before gasping. “Oh my…”

“God.” Carl finishes. “Are you serious?!”

“Yes. Mel couldn’t face it being you, Michael, so she asked me. For years, I watched you mistreat and disrespect my daughter. And…”

“But...I...but...the money I gave in support! Does Lindsay know?!” I splutter, my face aflame.

“Not sure if Lindsay knows. And as for the support money, you’ve got that back, haven’t you? I recall your delight at that revelation.”

“I am going to take Mel’s ass to court!” I bellow.

“On what grounds?” Jewel snorts. 

“Deception! She lied to me!” I snarl.

“Hmm, that could be argued.” Jewel looks very pleased. “But she will counter with the fact that you came to her to give up your rights first.”

“How do you know that? We hadn’t met you then.” Ted queries.

“Pillow talk.” She shrugs. “Now, I shall…”

“Hey all!” Pearl cries out as she comes in with Jenny, which is unfortunate as my blood is still boiling! “What’s happening, peeps?”

CARL

My temper rises as his demeanour changes from outrage to spite. “Michael, do…”

“Your Uncle Ted is your birth father, Jenny!” He declares; we wait for her reaction..

“Ah hah.” Jenny responds, before taking the bag off of me and unzipping it. “Ooh, that has to be the butter, we’ve got to get bagels on the way back, Pearl. Not sure what the rest is, but it looks good. We’re going to watch movies at the barn. Can I load another bag for four, including the cones, Grandma?”

“Did you hear what I said, Jenny?” Michael frowns.

“Yep, but how does your declaration change anything for me? Grandma is his mother in every way since she’s known him. He’s not going to stop me from seeing her, which is what you and Momma did when you were having a tantrum. And she wanted to be a trout! Dad has always got my back.” She takes Ted’s hand. “I’ve always wished that you were mine. You have the heart of a giant, and the soul of an angel. I began to suspect a couple of years back, but thought it was wishful thinking.”

Ted’s eyes begin to brim. “We need to speak to your…”

“I’m here.” Mel’s voice fills the room, Jewel hands Ted a napkin. “Are...are you angry with me?”

“Yes, I am fucking furious that….”

“Do not use that language in my daughter’s presence!” Ted almost blasts Michael off his perch of pissedoffness. 

“Oh, it was okay to do it when you were both deceiving me, but not now? Well, tough shit! I’ve always been unapologetically who I am, and not going to change!”

“It was never okay, and you were told multiple times to tone it down!” Debs snaps before taking a cleansing breath. “Mel, you, Ted, Blake, and Jenny are coming to dinner on Saturday, just the six of us, and…”

“I should be there too!” Michael exclaims.

“Why? You have nothing to do with me. Realistically you haven’t for years. Aunt Jewel, can I take Mom to the kitchen? These walls have awfully hairy and dirty ears?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jewel replies.

“What about the short rib sliders, honey? You know just in case?”

“Absolutely, let me check them!” Debs heads to the kitchen, wiping her face but smiling.

“Dad, you coming to oversee the packing? Also, can I have the rest of that?” Jenny points at the slice, he hands it over. “Oh yeah, very good. Grandpa, I think it’s best you stay here, Dad and I can take it instead.” She looks witheringly at Michael before heading to the kitchen, with a sniffing Ted starting to follow.

JEWEL

“No! Carl can go, but he can’t!” Michael exclaims. “He owes me more of an explanation than that!” He tries to grab Ted’s arm, but he steps easily out of reach, much to the twerp’s surprise.

“Listen carefully Michael. I’ve explained more than you deserved. I could’ve let you go along in blissful malice, knowing the hurt you caused her, whilst hanging around pretending to care. But no more, do not bring up this subject again. This is the last time I warn you, she…” Ted finally notices who has been quietly watching. “...oh, Ems, um, I…”

“I’m so happy. We’re both dads, wait, no…” He counts on his fingers. “...we’re the Dad Quad!”

“How do...oh, Brian, Ben, and you two, got it.” I’m relieved by his reaction, then have an idea. “Well now that it's in the open, what about being a…”

“Let me ask him!” Emmett exclaims. “I have a speech and everything!” I hold my hands up. “I want to say something else first.” He gets close to Michael and sniffs. “Seems like you showered and brushed your teeth. Who are you trying to impress? Anyway, no matter. Leave, how Debs and Carl want to manage their contact with you is up to them, but you will not hang around my daughter or goddaughter.”

“Goddaughter? Who is your goddaughter?!” Michael snipes.

“You, you remembered?” Ted whimpers, before being gathered into Emmett’s embrace. 

“Of course! You’re my best friend. As for who my goddaughter is, that would be Jenny. Teddy always said that when he had a child, I would be the godfather, so I accept and want him to do the same.”

“You call that a speech?!” Ted laughs whilst Emmett nods. “I would be delighted!. Why didn’t you tell me about them before though?”

“Not so best friends, then?” Michael sneers.

“Enough.” I pull myself to my full 6 foot 5 inches of height, in flats, but I don’t need to touch him. “Holmes, Watson!” I call out, they flank me in seconds. “Get out, Michael.” He slowly starts to back away. I follow, they match me step for step, just like I trained them. When we get to the door, I’m surprised by Emmett telling me to stop. “Why?”

“I need to remind him of something.” Emmett calls out. “Boys, back.” He orders, they obey, but remain in the zone.

“Thank you. Michael, you’ve forgotten something!” Emmett declares as he stands in front of me, which for some reason makes the idiot smirk.

“What?” Ted and I question.

“To tell your next conquest about your anal warts.” Ems returns the smirk. “Oh, seems I did that for you.” 

“You bastard!” Michael shouts when the door slams behind him. “Why didn’t the bell go?”

“You mean this old thing?” Ems smirks as he rehangs it. “I took it down. Now don’t you have a date to catch?” 

“I’ll get even!” Michael snarls before running after the guy.

TEN MINUTES LATER

EMMETT

“Okay, how?” Ted asks.

“He called wanting me to persuade Brian to let him get a table at Woody’s. When I asked why, he said he had a fuck-date, so I said I would do what I could, but maybe meet at the diner, so they could at least start at Eros for drinks, since it was across the street.”

“Not buying it. What did he do?” Ted questions.

“He kept telling her about what was happening in his life, you know without her in it, how free he was to do what he wanted. She's blocked his number now. Pearl…”

“Pearl!” Jewel hollers and our defiant looking daughter comes in. “Explain you two?!”

“I only did what any normal ‘run this world girl’ would do, which is to plant the seed of evil genius in the garden of innocence and let it bloom.”

“How long has it been blooming?!” Ted asks, before we turn at the knock at the door, surprised to see Michael’s non-conquest on the other side. “Why is he back?”

“Mom, you got $100? I will transfer the money back from my college fund tomorrow. As for how long, the first night I met him. I set up a profile on Gaydar.com, described the guy’s perfect partner as him of course, so he bit like a hungry hyena.”

“Which one is Pearl?” The guy asks. 

“That would be me. Thank you for participating in this lesson that needed to be taught.” I try not to grin as she hands him the money. 

“You’re welcome.” He titters. “To be honest, I would’ve done this for free. Hideous person.”

“You know him?” For once Pearl looks stunned. “And how’d you lose him? To be honest, never thought he could move that fast.”

“Yeah. Backroom fumble, which was more gross than gratifying, Had a friend parked up the street. No way he would’ve caught me. School athlete.”

“And where do you fit in this garden of evil, Ems?” Ted asks after the guy leaves.

“Hmm? Oh, sorry, I was just filing my final copy. What did you ask?”

JEWEL

“Ems, you alright?” I ask just as everyone comes back in. “Okay, now that we’re all here, we can...” 

Debs looks relieved. “Let me box up some treats for everyone to take, now that the prodigal’s gone.” Then her phone beeps. ”Ooh, hold on, the Seduction Cockblogger has posted. Can I read this first?” I scowl at Ems, unsure as to how Debs will take it. “Why is Michael running up the street looking frantic?”

I check my phone and there it is, the full debacle of Ems outing Michael’s warts to the entire Pennsylvania area. Liberty Avenue was bad enough, but this might be too much. The next video is Michael, looking forlorn and knackered, leaning against the wall. As a cat strolls by, he kicks at it, making contact. I had wondered why he flinched, Ems has no truck with those who hurt animals, coupled with what he did to Jenny and Pearl, so he dug his own grave. The third video showing the argument between him and Ted is next. When the comments come in, none of them are good.

“Well, that should do it.” Debs pockets her phone with a smile. 

“Do what?” I ask.

“Get him to clean up his act. Whoever this Cockblogger is, they not only know who to target, but when. I like that they do that. Whoever it is, I hope they continue the good work.” I just smile; but when she looks at Ems then winks at me I realise and blow her a kiss. Before she mouths something that almost knocks me on my ass. “Well, Carl and I have butter to test, Jewel, Ems, can I leave you guys to lock up?”

“Absolutely.” I return and soon it is just the three of us., 

“Okay, why are you staying?” I demand of Pearl.

“Because…” She looks up from texting. “...I’ve told everyone to ‘suddenly cancel’ so they can have a proper evening. Just Jenny and Uncle Ted.”

“Such a cute little TCM, which means tungsten covered marshmallow, which describes you perfectly.” Ems kisses her nose. “I decree that she gets that tattooed on her person!”

“Great, not a problem.” I respond and Pearl beams. “But you do know that Debs knows it’s you Ems?” He frowns.  “She knows you are the Cockblogger and said ‘go for George please’!

“No I didn’t, but why George? Barring his dubious tastes.” He asks.

“Because one he’s Michael’s half brother and they’ve been fucking.” Pearl declares. “And two, it was him who gave Michael anal warts. Reva told me. I love having a big sister!”

Avocado butter:

https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/a21289108/avocado-butter-recipe/

Tuna carpaccio with caramelised watermelon: 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/tuna_carpaccio_with_42630

Short rib sliders: Short Rib Sliders | Recipe | Short ribs, Slow cooker beef, Beef short ribs