"I'd like to move." Justin had announced like he was asking for the mashed potatoes. Looking between his partner and his best friend, he questioned his forthrightness.  He guessed they hadn't expected that response.  But they had pushed and he had said what was on his mind.

He was tired of hiding from everyone, putting on the  ‘Everything is fine' façade.  He was so far from fine that if he were running the race of the turtle and the hare from Gus' childhood books, he would be slower than the turtle.  He'd tried to get back on track, to paint, to be okay with the interview, to forget about the pictures that creepy guy sent to him and Brian.  But some anonymous guy showing up at their doorstep to let him and Brian know that he would ‘insure that his friend got treatment' just pushed him past fine.   As they say, it was the straw that broke the camel's back or in his case;  the last time he'd accept  that ‘everything was going to work out' and THIS solution would solve all his problems.

Justin wanted to have a magic lamp to rub and make his wishes come true; he wanted everything to go back to normal, or at least what stood for normal until a few weeks ago.  He never imagined that getting the mail would turn his world upside down.  But opening that envelope addressed to him changed his sense comfort and security.  It started out as a small ping in his gut that maybe something was wrong, to his now constant anxiety, just waiting for the next hairpin turn of events in their lives.  Tonight's visitor pushed him over the edge and he could no longer pretend anymore that he was ‘okay'.

Brian's reaction to Justin's statement was to look at Daphne, trying to discern if she were any more prepared for the bomb that Justin just dropped on them. 
But a quick look at her face told him this was a shock to her as well.  Justin surprised both of them and they were the two most important people in his life.  If they did not see this coming, he wondered how out of touch with Justin's psyche they were.  Brian swallowed the drink of water and put down his fork.

"Move," he said, trying to keep the surprise out of his voice while also trying to remain as non-committal as possible. The ice maker garnered water from the line and pushed it through the slots in an effort to make new ice.  Brian turned his hand over and squeezed Justin's hand in response to his earlier statement.

"Yeah.  I need to move.  I don't feel safe.  When the pictures were sent to us a few weeks ago, it was an anonymous arrival."  Justin got up from the table, walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer.  Popping the top, he took a drink and carried it back to the table.  Without looking at either Brian or Daphne, he continued.  "I gave an interview to Tim Collins... again that was pretty anonymous."  Justin took a swig of his beer, playing with the bottle as he turned it around.  "Going to Kinnetik and being hugged by the guy still was okay.  He was there for an interview and I just happened to walk in.   But when some anonymous guy shows up at our doorstep and his entire purpose is to assure me that he's got my back ....he will make sure his friend gets treatment and never bothers me again.... I can't do it anymore."  Justin finished his beer, walking to the recycle bin and throwing the bottle away and then grabbing a new one from the fridge.  "I just can't live knowing that anytime someone rings our door bell it could be another whack job.  If this guy can find me, then what about all those other people in the world who aren't so ‘normal'?"

Brian listened, nodding his head as Justin explained his statement.  Daphne took one last bite of her meal, took her plate to the sink and rinsed it, placing it in the dishwasher. She went to the stove and quietly gathered containers for the food that had not been eaten, placing them in storage and putting them in the fridge.  Going over to Justin, she kissed him on the cheek and did the same to Brian.

"I'll call you tomorrow, Jus," she said as she left the two men at the table.  Grabbing her purse and overnight bag, she quietly let herself out. As a therapist and Justin's oldest friend, she understood that this was a conversation that she did not need to be involved in.  Her work was complete, for now.  She'd gotten Justin to tell her what he was really feeling and to share those feelings with his partner.  While the truth surprised her a little, she understood where Justin's fear and trepidation came from and she wasn't sure that he was wrong to want to move. 

Brian watched as Daphne left their home.  Justin had not eaten any more of his dinner and Brian knew his meal was finished as well.  Taking their plates to the sink, he dumped the remaining food down the disposal and placed their plates in the dishwasher as well.  He watched Justin surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye; he did not move or attempt to speak. 

Justin was still nursing his second beer and Brian felt he could drink half a fifth of his favorite bottle of Jim Beam, if it was set in front of him.  However, those days were long gone; drowning his misgivings and troubles in a bottle of whiskey was not an acceptable form of problem solving.   He wondered for a brief moment when he'd become a lesbian, willing to talk about shit, but then accepted that almost losing Justin a second time in the car accident had been a wake-up call.  At the time, he needed to share his feelings and to remember the events in their lives that had shaped their relationship.  A few years ago Brian would never have used the word relationship to describe what he and Justin had together, but he did not deny that connection now.  Justin was a part of him, a part he was not willing to forego if he could prevent that separation. 

Brian motioned for Justin to join him in the media room.  Brian walked to the liquor cart, pouring himself a drink, bringing it back to the couch and setting it down on the table.  Brian looked at Justin, seeing the unspoken anxiety in his hunched shoulders and tight furrow of his brow.

"I want you safe," Brian said softly, letting his words permeate the air.  "If you need to move to be safe, then we will move."  Brian picked up the glass from the table, rolling it in his hands before drinking some of the amber liquid. 

"Really?  You'd just move.  Leave this place? Our home?" Justin asked.  He wanted to move, wanted to feel safe, but thought Brian would try to talk him out of it. He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in.

Brian put down his drink and turned toward Justin, taking the back of his fingers and running them lightly down his cheek.  He used his cupped hand to turn Justin's face toward his so they were looking at each other. Brian smiled at Justin, leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on his lips.  Leaning back, he nodded his head.

"This is a building.  Yes, it is where we live, but Justin home is where you are."  Brian shook his head at the cliché.  "I really have turned into a lesbian," he said, tongue in cheek.  The light on the dish receiver came on as it started to record a preset program - the slight buzz of the recorder was the only sound in the room.

"I chose this place because I wanted to give it to my Prince.  My Prince isn't happy here anymore, so we need to move.  It really is that simple."

"Brian... What about your work?  What about Gus? What about...."

"Justin, you say you want to move.  I say okay.  Now you appear to be trying to come up with reasons why we shouldn't."

Justin didn't say anything, allowing his thoughts and feelings to run rampant through his mind.  <i>  I'm tired of living this way, wondering what today's crisis will be.  But do I have the right to ask Brian to move, to uproot his entire life because I don't feel safe?  He says he is okay with moving, but is he really?  Where do I want to move?  I can't go to New York and I really like Pittsburgh, its where my family is and all of our friends.  I don't think I would be able to handle making a new life at this time.  I need connections and familiarity. I'm scared, but I'm in awe that Brian isn't fighting this.  We've come so far.</i>

"I just didn't expect this."

"Expect what?" Brian looks at Justin with a frown on his face. 

"I didn't expect you to agree.  I mean I thought I would have to fight you and I was trying to come up with all the reasons this was a good idea, and then you just say okay," Justin said.  He was feeling tired, all the adrenaline from the day's events was leaving his body and the fight or flight reactions were dissipating.  "I'm tired.  It's been a long day."

Brian really wanted to settle this discussion.  He knew he would do anything for Justin, including moving, but he understood Justin needed time to work through his request, even if it was something he desperately wanted. 

"Why don't you go lay down for a bit?  We can talk later."   Brian stood up, walking toward the stairs, turning around to insure Justin was following him.  When Justin reached the step underneath him, Brian reached out his hand, grabbing Justin's and they ascended the steps together.  Brian helped Justin undress, lifting the blanket so he could climb inside the warm cocoon.   Brian lay next to him, on top of the bedding, his arm wrapped around Justin's waist as Justin quickly allowed his exhaustion over take his body. 

Brian held his partner.  For once, there wasn't any ‘if only I'd done this or not done that' running through his mind as he contemplated their current situation.  No one had really done anything wrong, or more appropriately said, no one had anything to be sorry for.  Sure Justin had been a dancer to support himself so he could paint, but in the scope of things that wasn't a huge problem.  If someone were to follow the steps backwards to their present problems it could lead back to that decision, but those pictures could have just as easily been taken when he was dancing for the Sap.  He hadn't really thought of that time in many years and if he brought it up to Justin.... Well no need to bring back another one of Justin's bad decisions that almost cost him dearly.  Rape is never an acceptable outcome to earning a living. 

Justin wanted to move and he meant what he said, Justin was home not some structure.  The biggest question to be answered was where to move.  New York was out.  The stalker was there as were many more potential clients that Justin had danced for.  He wanted to stay close to family, especially Gus and he assumed Justin did too. Brian contemplated the many options but fatigue overcame him as well as he allowed sleep to claim his body.

Several hours later Justin woke, slightly disoriented when he realized Brian was lying on top of the bed and he was under the blanket.  As sleep cleared from his mind, his heart began to race when he realized he had told Brian he wanted to move.  He extricated himself from Brian's familiar hold and started to move out of the bed.

"I'm awake.  Come back here, Justin," Brian said softly, his tone filled with the love he felt for Justin.  There was no hint of anger or question, just a request for his presence. 

Justin returned to his previous position, but he did not get under the blanket, instead choosing to lie in Brian's arms on top of the bed.  Brian's arms around him always made him feel safe and he felt his heart slowing to match that of the heart- beat of his partner.

"I've been thinking," Brian said.  The clock ticked in the background.  "Kinnetik has several suites in the city for VIP's.   We can gather some of our clothes, your sketch pads and a few necessities and hole up there for a bit.  It will take some time to sell this place and for us to find a new one, but there is no need for us to live here while that is happening."

Justin listened and his first impulse was to argue why that wasn't a good idea, but when he started to explain, Brian turned him, kissing him solidly. Justin broke the kiss after a few minutes and started to answer again, but Brian repeated his actions, taking a little longer this go round.

"I need for you to feel safe.  WE NEED to find a new place to live, to call our home.  It needs to feel safe for both of us.  This is not a quick decision.  Let me offer you a place for now.  There are two apartments; both are in manned buildings so no one can just ‘stop by'.  I'll call Cynthia in the morning and have her notify the building's management that we will be coming by for a look."

Justin moved on top of Brian's body, laying his legs between Brian's open legs.  The two men fit perfectly together, interconnected puzzle pieces. Justin kissed Brian, the kiss filled with all the words he could not speak at that moment.  He shared his gratitude, his love, but most of all his desire for his partner.  Even through several layers of clothing, Brian could feel the hardness of his partner.  He flipped Justin onto the bed, placing his finger to Justin's mouth and making a ‘shshing' noise. 

"Let me lose these clothes and then we can continue."  Brian quickly took off his clothing, grabbing the lube from the side of the bed.  "I'd be honored to accept your thanks," he said tongue in cheek as he lay down on his stomach. 

Surprise filled Justin for the second time that evening.  Brian understood that Justin needed control over his life.  He needed to feel he had some say in what happened. Brian was willing to give him control over his body, the ultimate in gifts.  Brian understood him so well; his needs and wants.  He loved this man so unconditionally and his heart swelled with the knowledge that Brian Kinney would do anything for him.  Justin usually preferred to be made love to, to receive Brian into his body, his seed bathing him from the inside.  Today was different and Brian recognized that need too.  Justin needed to be the one in control, to choose the ministrations, to choose the time and position of their joining.  Brian was fulfilling that need in the most intimate of ways. 

His kisses started at the base of Brian's neck, slow and soft, and then changed to deep and sucking.  Justin explored Brian's body as if he were playing with a new toy.  His hands roamed the well-muscled flesh, massaging as well as administering light feathery touches.  Brian sighed with enjoyment.  With each sigh, Justin found himself relaxing, enjoying his favorite activity. 

Justin moved his mouth down to the small of Brian's back, the place where it indented right about his ass cheeks.  The smell was more intense here.  It was uniquely Brian and Justin knew he could never describe it to anyone.  A smell that only he inhaled, a mix of pheromones and soap, but something else.  He thought now that it was the smell of love, a smell unique to partners. He opened Brian's ass cheeks, inhaling the ultimate in man scent.  Taking a swipe of the inner skin, he moaned in appreciation of the taste.  Brian pushed up his hips offering easier access to the channel.  Licking and sucking the sensitive tissue, Justin got lost in the taste and scent of his partner. 

"Justinnnnn," Brian pleaded as he rubbed his cock into the bed. 

Brian's words brought Justin out of his zone.  Justin gave several licks from Brian's crack up to the tip of his cock, stopping along the way to suck on each ball. 

Brian's sighs of enjoyment brought Justin even closer to his partner, recognizing that he was the cause of these sounds of ecstasy.  Justin found the lube, preparing both of them for ultimate in bonding. 

"Now!" Brian pleaded as Justin prepared him.

Justin pushes in slowly, insuring Brian is not hurt by the rare coupling.  Brian is ready, needing fulfillment from the beginning.  His body arched onto Justin's cock as Justin slammed into Brian. Justin placed his hands on either side of Brian's hips, pulling him close as he completes each thrust; their pants and rapid breathing, the only sound in the room.  Justin feels his heart pounding as if he is running a race.  He wants to savor the moment, but his body has other ideas.  It fills with adrenaline, high on the sensations his cock is experiencing. 

Being inside his lover, feeling the ultimate bond between two people overwhelms his mind; there are no words to describe making love with your life partner.  Your body wants to crawl inside, become one with the other person, but the limits of the human body prohibit a permanent fusing of the two.  Their physical bonds become spiritual ones as well.  They are joined as close as two people can be and they only feel each other.  The race to the finish is completed too quickly for both men and neither want to part but nature demands their bodies return to normal so they can enjoy the post adrenaline rush as it dissipates through their systems. 

"I love you," Justin whispers as he rolls off Brian.

"I know.  Me too," Brian said as he turns his head to look at his partner.  "Let's get some sleep; we have a big day ahead."  He rolls toward Justin and assumes his earlier position of holding Justin by the waist.  Justin wipes himself with the sheet and pushes his body back toward Brian as he places his hand over Brian's hand and closes his eyes. They fall into a peaceful sleep.

TBC