Custody

Part 4

Justin ran up the steps to the loft. With each step he prayed that he would find Brian inside. He flung back the door after unlocking it. He looked around and knew immediately that Brian wasn't there.

"Shit!" Justin said to the empty loft. He went over to the phone and dialed Lindsay's number. "He's not here," he told her as soon as she answered.

"He's not with Gus either. I just picked him up from preschool and there has been no sign of him."

"Daddy," Gus whimpered from the back seat. Gus obviously knew something was wrong.

"Did you tell Gus what happened?" Justin asked with disbelief.

"Of course not," Lindsay replied. "But I had to ask questions to find out if he had put in an appearance at Gus' school. Gus is sensitive. He knows something's wrong," Lindsay whispered.

"Daddy," Gus whimpered again.

"I'm worried, Lindsay."

"Me too."

"I've never seen him so mad. I don't think he ever could have dreamed that Michael would do that."

"Sometimes Michael's an ass," Lindsay said.

"Can you think of any place he might go?"

"The backrooms."

"Shit! You think so? In the middle of the custody trial?" Justin asked not wanting to think Brian would resort to that.

"You know his pain management techniques … and Michael really hurt him."

"Do you think I should go try to find him?" Justin asked.

"Well, you might get a better reception in the backrooms than I will. I honestly don't know what to tell you, Justin. Even if you find him, what can you say to him? Nothing's going to make this better."

"Daddy," Gus continued to whimper.

"I'll see if I can find him," Justin said finally. "I'll have to think of something to say when the time arises."

"Good luck," Lindsay said as she cut the connection.

Justin thought about where to find Brian. Most of the backrooms would be closed at this time of day, but maybe the one remaining bathhouse in the Liberty area would be where Brian would go. If he wasn't there, Justin didn't like to think of the only other possibilities. Either Brian would be shitface drunk somewhere or he would have found a trick and a hotel room. Justin didn't like either of those possibilities any better.

It had been quite a while since Justin had been in a bathhouse. He remembered having that fucking contest with Brian, the one where Brian's trick had turned out to be Father Tom, his mother's priest. Justin shook his head at the memory. Sometimes the gay world was a fucked up place.

As Justin walked along the hallway he glanced in the rooms that were open. There was no sign of Brian in any of them. The doors that were shut held God knew what, but he would open them as a last resort. Right now he was headed for the orgy room, but he didn't think there would be much of an orgy at five in the afternoon. As it turned out, he was wrong.

When Justin stepped through the archway that led to the orgy room, the first thing he saw was Brian naked sprawled out on one of the raised slabs. He lay on his back with his eyes closed while two men worked him over. One had his mouth wrapped around Brian's cock and he was sucking for all he was worth. The other one alternated between kissing Brian and sucking on his tits. Brian lay still except for an occasional moan that the men were able to elicit.

Justin watched for a moment not sure what to do. The thought of men with their mouths on Brian's dick didn't really offend him. He had seen that far too many times for it to hold much impact. But watching another man kiss Brian was different. That hurt. Brian's lips were supposed to be his. That's where they expressed their love for each other as well as their lust.

As Justin continued to watch in hurt fascination, he began to realize that the man kissing Brian was getting very little in response. Deep inside that pleased Justin. He knew he could do much better.

With a grunt that sounded more like a cry for help Brian came in the trick's mouth. Justin watched Brian pump his hips a couple of times and then lay still. His eyes were still closed.

The men switched positions as Brian lay spread out before them. Justin had had enough when he saw that happening. He walked towards the raised area. As one trick started to go down on Brian's now flaccid cock, Justin grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around.

"Fuck off!" Justin said in a tone that the man understood immediately. He raised his hand and backed away. "You too," Justin said to the other man who mumbled something but followed the other guy out of the room. Justin and Brian were alone. Brian's eyes were still closed.

"Come to rescue me, Sunshine?" Brian asked in that sarcastic manner he was famous for. Brian was obviously three sheets to the wind.

"Looks like it," Justin said softly.

"Well I don't fucking need rescuing! I'm a big boy. I can look after my own dick; at least I could until you got here."

"Let's go home," Justin said.

"I'm not done with my pain management for today," Brian said with a snarky attitude. "In fact I've hardly started."

"You're done!"

"I beg your pardon?" Brian said his eyes finally opening.

"You do need to beg my pardon, you selfish son of a bitch!"

"Joan will be so pleased that you finally got her number … and mine too."

"Are you a complete idiot, or just so self-absorbed that you can't see what you're doing?" Justin asked thoroughly pissed that Brian was being such a prick.

"What I was doing, Sunshine, was having a good time until you came along and completely ruined the mood." Brian sat up and glared at Justin.

"And what if I was a private investigator following you around? Melanie would have all the proof she needed that you're an unfit parent."

"Michael already proved that," Brian said with an involuntary shiver.

"He didn't prove anything, Brian. He gave his fucking opinion which is worth shit. You're the one proving him right." Brian stared at Justin and then his shoulders started to shake. Justin sat beside him and wrapped his arms around the much taller man. "It's all right, Brian. I'm here."

"How … how could he do that?" Brian choked out.

"I don't know. Michael is a mystery to me, one that I never fucking want to solve. I just wish he could mind his own fucking business." Justin kissed Brian's cheek as the shaking subsided.

"He thinks I am his fucking business," Brian said wiping at his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"Then maybe it's time you set him straight once and for all."

"Maybe…" Brian agreed. "I think I want to go home now."

"Good. Come on; let's get your clothes."

Brian allowed himself to be led out of the orgy room and back to the locker area. He glanced around glad that nobody seemed to be watching them. He wondered how the fuck he got himself into these situations.

When they finally arrived at the loft, Justin told Brian to go take a shower. For some unknown reason, maybe feeling a little contrite for his less than stellar performance after court, Brian went right into the bathroom giving no argument at all.

Justin picked up the phone and called Lindsay. "He's home," Justin said as soon as the woman answered.

"Thank God. Where was he?"

"It doesn't matter. He's here. That's what's important."

"If you say so," Lindsay said with a sigh. "Will he be in court tomorrow?"

"I honestly don't know. What Michael did today really threw him."

"I understand that, but doesn't he still want his rights to Gus?"

"Of course he does," Justin said rather vehemently. He was sure that Brian still wanted that. "However, he has other things on his mind at the moment."

"Like getting his dick sucked."

"Lindsay!"

"I'm sorry but that was where you found him, wasn't it?"

"So what if it was? He was in pain."

"Couldn't he just once put Gus' welfare ahead of his own?"

It was Justin's turn to sigh. "You know what he's like. He keeps everything inside, nothing bothers him, nothing ruffles that smooth asshole veneer. Except that we both know that things do hurt him. And he has his tried and true methods of dealing with it."

"I know," Lindsay admitted with another sigh. "It just gets old. Doesn't it get old for you?"

"Yes," Justin whispered almost afraid to admit it. "Of course it does, but it's part of how Brian has managed to survive all this time. Too many people have betrayed him over the years, especially people who should have protected him."

"Yeah," Lindsay said softly.

"Don't ever tell him I agreed with you about this. It would be another betrayal like Michael's."

"I understand."

"Good."

"Try to get him back in court tomorrow, and preferably sober."

"I'll do my best, but I can't promise anything. You haven't seen him."

"I'm glad you found him. Look after him."

"I'll do my best."

Justin cut the connection and set the phone down. Now the hard work would begin.

A few minutes later Brian came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips. Justin sat on the bed waiting for him. He studied the little beads of water still dispersed over Brian's lean frame. Brian stopped in the doorway and let Justin peruse him. He didn't know what to say to his lover. The shower had sobered him up, and he felt semi-numb.

"Like what you see?" Brian finally said sticking his tongue in his cheek and trying to carry off his customary bravado.

"I always have," Justin said looking into the hazel eyes.

Brian raised an eyebrow indicating that wasn't quite the answer he had expected. "But maybe not for much longer?" Brian whispered.

Justin shuddered slightly. It reminded him of his conversation with Lindsay. Had Brian heard them? "Why did you say that?"

"You used the past tense."

"Did I?"

"What's going on?"

"I should be asking you that," Justin declared. "What the fuck did you think you were doing this afternoon?"

"I don't think it was any of your business," Brian stated suddenly taking the offensive.

"How can you say that … after all this time?"

"I … I just felt like shit so…"

"So you had to go find somewhere or someone else to help you with it."

"Yeah, I guess that's what I was doing."

"Michael is an ass, but you know I will stand by you."

"Will you?"

"How can you even ask me that?" Justin said with disbelief.

"I thought Michael would too."

"I'm not Michael."

"I know," Brian said tossing aside his towel. He grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on. He started hunting for a shirt.

"Want me to order some dinner?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You should eat."

"Yes, mother, but not right now." Brian pulled his leather jacket from the closet and started to put it on.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked standing up.

"I'm going out."

"Oh no you're not. I just got you home."

"I have something to do."

"I'll suck you're fucking dick for you. You don't have to go out."

"Thanks for that more than gracious offer, but that's not what I'm in the mood for."

"Since when are you not in the mood?"

Brian raised an eyebrow and said nothing. He finished shrugging on his jacket and grabbed his car keys off the counter. He went out the door before Justin could say anything more to stop him. Justin debated running after his partner but decided that Brian would have to solve this one on his own. Justin had done all he could do.

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Brian pounded on the door waiting for someone to answer. The longer he had to wait the harder he pounded. Finally the door opened.

"Brian, what the fuck…" Michael asked.

Brian pushed past him and turned on his best friend. He glared at Michael. "You never cease to amaze me, Mikey."

"What?" Michael asked taken aback by Brian's apparent anger and then by his sarcastic tone.

"You never did listen to me."

"What the fuck do you want, Brian?"

"I want to know why."

"Why what?"

Brian shook his head. "You really are stupid sometimes, Michael. I can't believe that it took me all these years to realize what a fucking, self-centered asshole you can be."

"That's how people describe you," Michael shot back.

"And I always took it, but it's just beginning to dawn on me that you have me beat by a country mile in that department."

"I just did what I thought was best for Gus."

"You did what you thought was best for you. You're in Melanie's good graces now for defaming my character in court. Did she promise you unlimited visitation with your daughter?"

"She didn't promise me anything. I said the truth and it's time you realized it." Michael was yelling.

"You said what used to be the truth, but you are apparently too dim-witted to see that I have changed."

"Well, you haven't changed enough in my opinion."

"And that's your judgment to make?" Brian demanded.

"In this case, yes, it was."

"You've called yourself my best friend for over fifteen years. And in a few sentences in court you destroyed it all."

"It's time for you to grow up and realize that you're an over the hill club boy fucking around on your partner. That lifestyle might have been fun at twenty-five, but it's fucking pathetic at thirty-five."

"Then why the fuck have you continued to hang around with me?" Brian yelled.

"Fuck if I know … and I don't so much any more."

"And there we have it! You're too good for the likes of me now that you have your little house in the burbs and your one point five children and your hunky husband. Well, fuck you, Michael! Fuck you!"

Michael crossed his arms on his chest and stared at Brian. He didn't know what to say to his friend that refused to grow up and act like a mature man. "I guess we've outgrown each other," he said finally.

"Fucking right!" Brian said as he wheeled around and slammed out of the house.