Justin woke up to the mouthwatering smell of eggs and frying bacon. It had been a long time since he had woken up to food being cooked. Not since before he told his parents about Tommy’s pending arrive. It was the last time he felt like he truly belonged, before he was told he really didn’t.

He was supposed to see his mother and sister on Sunday. It worried him, but he was glad no one would be watching them like hawks while they visited.

The sound of Debbie chattering made him smile. It wasn’t hard to hear her since he slept on the couch. It just didn’t feel right to sleep in Vic or Michael’s rooms.

After he stood, he stretched his body out. His back a little sore from sleeping on the couch. Marissa cooed from the kitchen. He found Debbie cooking while talking to a Marissa, Gus and Tommy. Both boys were shoveling food in their mouths like it was going to be ripped away at any moment. Marissa was in her carrier, chewing on her fingers.

Just then Debbie turned from the stove and saw him. “Good morning, Sunshine. You slept like the dead. Didn’t even wake up when Lindsay dropped off the boys.”

“Morning. Where’d she go?” he asked with a yawn.

“She’s works at The Sydney Bloom Art Gallery. She’s working on this artist named Sam Auerbach’s show.”

“Sam Auerbach? Never heard of him.”

“Oh, Lindsay says he’s a wonderful artist.”

“That’s good. I guess he has to be for his art to be up in a gallery.” It must be an amazing feeling.

Justin lifted Marissa up out of her carrier, and sat down at the table. Debbie placed a plate filled with scramble eggs, bacon and pancakes.

“It looks so great, Debbie. Thank you so much.”

He was an expert now at eating while tending to a baby.

“Honey, could you take the boys. I was hoping to go back to the hospital and see what’s going on, Ben is going to meet me there.”

“No problem.”

The loft was quiet when he awoke. Usually, at this time in the morning Tommy would be bouncing on his bed, trying to wake him. He didn’t know what time Justin was planning on picking up Tommy from Lindsay’s, maybe he should just go and pick him up.

Since it was Saturday, he decided to go to the diner. Well, he went there almost every day so it wasn’t that much of a shocker. At least this time he wouldn’t have to risk getting anything spilt on him. Tommy must get his coordination from Justin’s side of the family. Brian’s family were always good on their feet, especially when they were three sheets to the wind. Not that that was a family trait he wanted either of his boys to inherited from him.

Deciding to start his weekend good, he made sure to wear his most mouthwatering jeans. Taking the stairs, he stopped by Justin’s loft and knocked. Might as well show Justin what he’s missing. Sure, Brian wasn’t a TV star but he could probably buy his own cable station, or at least start one. Not that Brian was jealous, he wasn’t. What did he have to be jealous of? Some small time actor? Justin had too much baggage for anyone to buy into. At least, at the moment. He shouldn’t be trying to start anything when he was still married. Not like Brian thought a lot of marriage anyway but still.

After a few minutes of knocking on the door he determined that Justin hadn’t come home at all. If he got pregnant again he would be sorely mistaken if he thought his new guy was going to take care of all of them. Even if he felt sorry for Justin and took him, there was no way he’d want Marissa. And there was no way Tommy was getting near the new guy.

As he stepped into the diner he heard the unmistakable laughter of his sons. Looking over he saw them on the same side in a booth. Justin was on the opposite side with the baby on his shoulder. He could see that she was asleep, drooling.

“Brian,” Justin called over to him. That’s when the boys noticed him.

“Daddy!” they yelled and jumped out of the booth, running to him.

He scooped them up easily. They were giggling in his arms. Walking over to the booth, he placed the boys on their side. Then he picked up the carrier and diaper bag out of the booth and placed them in the empty booth behind them. It wasn’t that early in the morning but the usual crowd was probably still sleeping in.

“So, how was the date?” he asked, knowing damn well how it had gone.

“Really great. We went out to dinner and then dancing. Marrying, you know who, so young I didn’t know what I was missing. It was so fun, not that I’d change either Tommy or Marissa.”

Brian nodded and looked over to the boys. “Ice cream? This early in the morning?” He raised an eyebrow. They just smiled and kept eating the sugary goodness.

“We ate at Debbie’s this morning. The bus won’t be coming for another twenty minutes, so we’re killing time.”

“Debbie’s? Why were you at Debbie’s?”

“Last night Hector and I came here after dancing. Debbie told me about Michael. She was so distraught, I couldn’t just leave her for the night. Hector took me to pick up Marissa in his rental, he waited in the car while I got the baby. Then he took me to Debbie’s. This morning Lindsay dropped off the boys while she went to work. Debbie wanted to go back to the hospital so I took them.”

“How’s Michael?” he asked quietly. He felt guilty for all the things he thought about Justin. Really, what did he matter if he had gone to fuck the guy. Brian was the last person to judge.

Justin shook his head. “Debbie was worried. She said he asked for Vic. That’s her brother right?”

“Yeah, he died over a year ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It is, what it is.”

He didn’t want to talk about Vic dying. About how much it hurt, worse than when he lost his father. About finding the cancer so soon afterwards. He was so glad he was in remission by the time Tommy came into his life. He didn’t want to drag him down with him.

Clearing his throat. “So where’s Mikey now?”

“Psychiatric hold at Alleghany General.”

Brian nodded his head. Yesterday, he had told them to bill him. He didn’t want Debbie dying trying to cover the expenses like with Vic. But at the time it was still just tests.

“I don’t want the boys on the bus, I’ll drive you.”

“The bus is fine. But you can take the boys, three is a little much to handle.”

“Just accept the ride,” he told him.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” he snapped.

Justin smiled at him. “There’s not enough room.”

Brian thought about his backseat, Justin was right. There was only room and seatbelts for two. Already both Gus and Tommy’s boosters where hooked up.

“Fine,” he said begrudgingly. He would look into getting a car for Justin. It only made sense because of Tommy. At least that’s what he told himself.

Both boys were down for the night. Brian had asked Lindsay if he could keep Gus for the night. She seemed very happy by that. At first he thought she was going to enjoy a night out with Mel. But then he found out from Gus that Mel was visiting her mother and wouldn’t be back until Monday. So now he just assumed Lindsay was just glad for a break.

He had black paneling put up around his room. Privacy was needed in his life. Since he couldn’t bring guys home anymore, self-love was important. And waiting to shower just took too long.

Now alone in his room he settled over the covers. He had locked his door but he didn’t need to, both boys slept heavy. Just as he was about to take matters into his own hands someone knocked on his door.

Jumping out of bed he hurried to the door. Just because they slept heavy didn’t mean nothing wouldn’t wake them up. He didn’t want to read any more about the fucking lonely puppy.

“Jesus fuck!” he snapped as he slid open the door.

He was greeted by Justin and Marissa. Justin was just wearing sleep pants. Marissa in some god awful pink thing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I had a nightmare about Tommy. I just wanted to make sure he was alright.”

“You could have called.”

“I didn’t want to wake anyone.”

Brian just looked at him. He knocked on the door, the only way to check on him was to wake him up.

“Fine, I just need to see for myself.”

Brian slid the door up wider and let him in. Justin went straight to Tommy’s little room. Finally, it looked like he was relaxing.

“Everything okay now, princess?”

“I just wanted to make sure my child was okay. Would you think twice if you had the same worry?” No, he wouldn’t. In fact, he would have beat on the door like the place was on fire.

“Want to tell me what the nightmare was about?”

“First, do you still have that travel bassinet? I need to lay her down for a minute.”

Going over to the closet he pulled the packable bassinet. He set it up in his room. He wanted to lay down while they had this conversation, he was tired.

Justin sat on the edge of the bed as Brian laid down. It seemed to take a moment for Justin to decide something. He placed Marissa in her bassinet, then shut the bedroom door, turning the lock.

Brian watched as Justin lowered his sleep pants. He was gloriously naked underneath.

“I thought you wanted to talk?”

“Later, first I need to be touched. I need to be with you.” He was pleading. Brian didn’t know what the nightmare was about but he could see many different levels of need in Justin’s eyes.

“Come here,” he said, huskily.

He would give Justin want he needed. First, he makes sure to grab the condoms and lube out of the drawer. Condoms were used last time, he used them every time. But now they were joined with spermicidal lube. Carriers were rare so he didn’t think he had to worry. But he did worry now.