Brian pulled into his space in the garage next to the loft.  He glanced at the clock on the dashboard and saw the time, 10:45.  He yawned and realized that just a short month ago, he would be primping to go to Babylon for the evening.  He realized that he actually didn't have an interest in going and was happy that he turned Michael down earlier tonight.  Grabbing his phone out of the middle console, he opened the door and placed his phone in his pocket. He clicked the button to lock his car and made his way toward his loft.  

The hamsters decided that they had slept enough and he started thinking about the last month and the changes in his life.  He wondered when he lost interest in the latest conquest at Babylon and wondered if he would ever be interested in returning to his kingdom.  There was a lot of truth to the statements that the participants spoke tonight at the meeting. He could pick up tricks in other places, but yet he hadn't done so, or at least not very often.  Early on in his journey for sobriety, he had trolled the online websites for guys to pick up, but he stopped doing so after a week or so. He found that when he came home from a meeting he was more likely thinking about the discussion that night than burying his dick in some hole.  

As he unlocked his door, his phone rang.  Fishing it out of his pocket, he saw the caller ID identified the call coming from Michael.  He ignored the call, choosing neither to answer or decline the call. This way, he could deny its existence, feigning ignorance of Michael's attempt to reach him.  He had already explained to Michael that he was not going to drink and then he told him he wasn't going out. He needed Michael to accept ‘no'.  

Looking through the mail that he had grabbed as he entered the building, he saw a letter from Beros law firm.  Placing all the other envelopes and flyers in the basket on the island in the kitchen, he took the letter and sat on the couch.  He opened it up and read it. It was an obvious form letter stating the terms of the contract regarding Kera's representation of him in regard to his rights to his son, Gus.  The letter formally laid out his desire to have more influence in Gus' life and reiterated the legal precedents that Kera was going to utilize to formalize this action. The last dictate in the letter was a directive for Brian to have Gus' DNA tested to show paternity.  He held the letter in his hand and picked up his phone where he had placed it on the coffee table in front of him.

Scrolling through the names in his contacts, he pushed one of the newest ones and was happy when Justin answered.

"Hey.  Did you have a change of heart?  Want to go to Babylon? I can be there in about 30 minutes," Justin said, hoping that Brian had not changed his mind, but willing to support him if he had.

"You can go to Babylon without me.  I'm sure that after a year, you've got your urges under control," Brian said, tongue in cheek.

"I know.  So if you didn't call about Babylon, what's up?"

"I got a letter from the law firm in the mail.  I imagined it would take several weeks until I heard from them.  Anyway, it was just a summary of our conversation but the lawyer also wrote up the legal precedent that protects my rights.  She said there wouldn't be any need to go to court as the law is very clear in this situation. She just reminded me to take Gus for a DNA test.  I'm gonna have to do that on Saturday. It might impact our plans for your tour guide gig," Brian said, smiling at the thought of Justin as tour guide in his own city.

"Figure out where there is a clinic and I'll meet you two afterward.  I'm sure there will be plenty of time to find something to do. This actually works out well.  I got a text from my agent and she wanted to meet with me Saturday morning," Justin said, already thinking of kid-friendly activities.  

"Go meet with your agent.  We can do something another day.  You do not have to be my tour guide.  I'm sure that I can figure out how to entertain my kid for a few hours," Brian said, realizing that he was actually looking forward to hanging out with Justin and Gus and doing something besides attending an AA meeting, but was feeling guilty that he was keeping Justin from his life.

"Brian, I told you that I want to help you learn about yourself and exploring the city is a part of that.  My meeting will be done by 11:00. We can talk about where to meet and what to do tomorrow afternoon after the AA meeting.  You still coming to that, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be there.  I learn something new every time I attend and I still feel I need to have that structure AA provides,"  Brian said.

"Congratulations on the legal stuff.  I know that it was really important for you to safeguard your access to your son.  Your life is already changing. See you tomorrow, Brian," Justin said and clicked the end button on his phone.   He liked Brian and really wanted to help him figure out who the real Brian was. He texted his agent and told her he would meet her at 9:00.  He should have an hour and a half to talk with her before he needed to meet Brian.   

After looking at the mail, Brian took a shower and got ready for bed.  He knew he'd have a busy day tomorrow, but in the past, that didn't prohibit him from hitting the bars on Thursdays.  He made a mental note to ask Ted to locate a clinic where he could take Gus on Saturday. Closing his eyes he fell asleep.

As Brian walked into Kinnetik in the morning, he hoped Ted would be in his office.  He had purposefully chosen not to go to the diner since he didn't want to run into Michael.  He was saddened by the thought that he was actively avoiding him, but at this point in his life, he was not willing to argue or debate with Michael the merits of joining him at Babylon.  He recognized that he would have to share his attendance at AA with the rest of the gang, but decided he wouldn't do that until he got the results back on Gus' DNA test. He had no fear that Gus was his son as he looked just like a miniature Brian, but having the science behind his legal claim would make it ironclad.  

He passed by Ted's office and saw him reading the Pittsburgh Business Times. Ted always liked to read about local business and Brian was pleased with his continued interest in growing their business.  He knocked lightly on the door and Ted looked up from his reading, motioning for him to come in.

"Bri, sit down.  Everything okay? I was surprised to get your text last night, especially after our conversation yesterday." Ted put down the journal and picked up his mug of coffee.  He'd become a coffee snob after working at Kinnetik for six months. Up to that point, he would drink any coffee that was around, but since Brian always wanted the best of everything, he had the best coffee in the breakroom.  Ted had quickly become a discerning coffee drinker and as he took a sip of the hot brew, he inhaled the rich aroma, adding to the experience.  

"Everything is fine.  At the AA meeting last night the topic of discussion was sexuality.  I had an ah ha moment and realized that sex was just another way for me to avoid figuring out who I am,"  Brian said, surprised at his words. "I didn't really come in here to talk about my sex life, but there were some comments last night that really hit home."

Ted's curiosity had really been piqued but he knew better than to grill Brian.  If Brian wanted to elaborate, he would.

"I have a reputation of being ‘Stud of Liberty Avenue' but I haven't been to the bars in over a month.  In fact, I haven't really picked up many tricks in that time either," Brian said, admitting to his friend that he was changing.  Brian momentarily stopped short as he realized he was sharing information that nobody else in their little family knew about. He quickly realized that he really wanted Ted's take on the situation.  

Ted waited patiently for Brian to continue.  He knew Brian, or at least the old Brian, and didn't want to push him.  He understood that Brian was not one to share a lot of personal information and sometimes when he did, he back-pedaled the statements. 

"No comment?" Brian asked, realizing that he expected Ted to talk to him.

"Wasn't sure you wanted one."

"Ted, everything I do, I do because I want to.  I wouldn't have mentioned it unless I wanted to talk about it," Brian said.

"Brian, did you just hear yourself?  You volunteered to talk to me about something that wasn't business.  You really are changing." Ted picked up his coffee mug and took another sip of the delicious drink.  He waited for Brian to threaten his job if he ever told anyone about the conversation, but Brian just smiled a slight grin.

"Okay, I haven't grown a twat, so don't go there, but I'm beginning to see that there is some merit in talking about things other than who would I rather sleep with ‘Barney Rubble or Fred Flinstone'," Brian said, tongue in cheek.

"I know you are more than idle banter, it's just that you hide behind that ‘Stud persona'," Ted said. "I've known you for about a dozen years and the only place that I see a glint of the other Brian Kinney is when you are hanging out with Gus."  

"I'm not going to talk about sex and sleeping with guys when my son is around.  Sure, I want him to have a masculine influence, but Lindsay would have my balls if I paraded a bunch of tricks in face."  Brian frowned at the mention of Lindsay, thinking of the arguments and fighting that was sure to occur when he dropped his multiple bombshells on her and her she-devil wife.

"The meeting last night got you thinking about sex?" Ted asked, trying to be sure they were talking about the same subject.

"Actually, the leader started it off saying that they were going to discuss intimacy.  Said sex wasn't being intimate and that intimacy was sharing your body with somebody you really cared about,"  Brian said, in a tone that sounded as if he was delivering a lecture topic in a class, rather than conversation material.

"And how did you take that statement?" Ted asked, thinking that he knew the answer, but it was never a good idea to assume anything.

"I told him that gay men trick and that sex is different for us."

"I see."  Ted brought his hands together, intermingling the fingers and touching the forefingers together.  He pivoted them back and forth several times, but was quiet, waiting for Brian to continue.

"Yeah. Well, I was called out for that statment, by a Lesbian, no less.  She said that she gets what I'm saying, but that sex wasn't intimacy. She called me on my own behavior, asking me if I was tricking now."  Brian was loosening up a little in the retelling of the conversation. He leaned forward and bit his bottom lip a bit. He wasn't nervous as evidenced by his lack of hair playing.  Ted recognized when Brian was nervous as he often ran his fingers through his hair, but Brian's hands were nowhere near his hair and he was talking calmly.

"So you aren't tricking?  I knew you weren't at Babylon or Woody's since you wanted to stay away from the booze, but I thought you'd be tricking other places," Ted said, surprised at Brian's confession.

"Me too.  Surprised the hell out of me when she asked if I was tricking and I had to think about the last time I picked up someone."

"Okay, you're not tricking, but you told me that you wanted to go to Babylon so you could pick up guys?  I'm a little confused Brian," Ted said, trying to follow the conversation. Ted's intercom buzzed and Brian nodded for him to answer.  

"... John Collier is on the phone.  Do you want me to put him through?" Cynthia asked.

Ted looked at Brian for direction and Brian shook his head no.  Ted understood that Brian was open right now and if he stopped, Brian might stop talking.  Since Brian voluntarily came to his office, he wanted to finish the conversation.

"Take a message.  I'm in with Brian," Ted said as he released the button on the intercom.

"Me too.  I'm confused.  I thought I wanted to go to Babylon and Woody's so I could pick up tricks.  I figured with you and Emmett there, as well as my sponsor, I would stay away from temptation and not drink.  I could indulge my libido safely. But when I went to the meeting and admitted that I really haven't been tricking, I realized that I was fooling myself.  I wasn't seeking Babylon or Woody's for sex."

"You texted us last night when you realized that you were going for the wrong reasons," Ted said, hoping that he was interpreting Brian's statements correctly.  "I understand why you didn't want to go last night. Brian, you're finally trying to figure out who Brian Kinney is. Sure, you are notorious on the Avenue for being the Stud that everyone wants to boast about being with, but it seems that you are realizing that you are more than just a sex machine."

"Something like that.  But also because I'm beginning to realize that maybe sex was just as much an addiction as the booze.  I'm not sure about that," Brian said.

"Bri, you don't have to figure everything out in a day or a month.  Intimacy and sex are very different and you can have both with the same person," Ted said.  He thought about his own sex life and how, depending on thier moods, he and his partner enjoyed sex or intimacy.

"My sponsor said something similar.  He wants to help me figure out who the real Brian Kinney is.  May the real Brian Kinney stand up," Brian said tongue in cheek, as he quoted the old tv show "To tell the Truth '' and stood up.  

Ted laughed at the reference.  "I remember that show. It was always fun to watch."  Ted motioned for Brian to return to his seat and Brian did.  "So the real Brian Kinney,huh. That would be a real challenge, especially since I don't think anyone really knows the real Brian Kinney."

"Justin said that I need to figure out who I am and what I like to do besides have sex and go to the bars.  He said that if I don't figure that out, I probably will go back to my famiiar ways of drinking and sex."

"Sounds like a smart guy.  I look forward to meeting him.  I must say that I was a little disappointed last night when you texted.  I was looking forward to meeting the man who would tackle keeping Brian Kinney away from the booze at Babylon or Woody's."  Ted finished the last of his coffee and looked into the cup, the sadness evident on his face.  

"He and I are going to tour the city.  He offered his services as a tour guide.  He is meeting Gus and I later tomorrow for our first adventure."

"Oh," Ted said a little surprised.

"Justin said that it is pretty common to do things socially with other AA members and that often people have to make new friends, since their old friends were the ones they got drunk with. Since I see you guys all the time and not just at the bar, he was willing to go to Babylon with me."

Ted refrained from commenting, just filing the information in his head.  Brian was spouting thoughts and opinions of another person and that was novel enough.  He wondered if Brian was even aware of the changes he was making in his relationships.

"What are you doing with Gus this weekend?" Ted asked, realizing that Brian was getting fidgety in his chair and would most likely end the conversation very shortly.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  I got the initial contract from the lawyer regarding my rights and she wants me to take Gus for a DNA test.  Can you find out where I can do that on a Saturday?"

"Sure thing Bri.  Anything else?"

"No.  I think your boss will get upset if you don't get some work done.  After all, he pays you to be an accountant, not to talk to people about their lives," Brian said, tongue in cheek.  He stood up and reached out his hand to Ted, shaking it.  

Brian walked toward the break room to fix himself some coffee.  The coffee in Ted's office had reminded him that he hadn't had any this morning.  As he was pouring his coffee and placing the sugar in the mug, he thought of Justin and his endless teasing about his sugar drink.  Thinking of Justin made him smile. He realized that he enjoyed his company and his conversations. That was a novel experience for him.  Maybe Justin was right and he was beginning to realize who the real Brian Kinney was.

Brian took his mug to his office and sat in his chair, hitting the button to boot up his computer.  As he waited for it to open, his phone rang and the caller ID identified the caller as Lindsay.  

"Hello Linds," Brian wanted to avoid chit chat with her as she could talk about the most trivial things and he had a business to run.

"Oh, Brian.  Glad I caught you.  When you pick up Gus tonight, can you bring your checkbook?  Gus needs some new soccer cleats and he has a field trip next week to the zoo. The school wants money for the bus."

"I'll buy his cleats and contact the school.  No need to make you the middleman, Linds," Brian said.

"Oh, Okay.  But really, I could take care of it.  That way you wouldn't have to take him shopping or drop the check off at school.  If you make the check to me, I'll just pay for them," Lindsay said, thinking on her feet.  She didn't want Brian to call the school and find out that there wasn't a field trip. 

"No, that's fine.  I have to go right by there on my way to an appointment this afternoon.  It's no problem," Brian said, realizing how Lindsay was trying to back-pedal her request.  He wondered if there really was a field trip, but he wasn't going to push her. He'd find out soon enough.  He did have to go right by the school on his way to the AA meeting.  

"Thanks.  I'll see you tonight," Lindsay said and hung up.  Turning toward Melanie, she said, "Well that didn't turn out well.  He offered to take Gus shopping and he's going to drop off the money himself for the field trip.  I'll just have to tell him that I got the dates wrong. He'll figure out that I lied when he contacts the school.  What are we going to do about the money? I was counting on it."

Melanie looked at Lindsay and said, "Well, that's typical Brian Kinney.  We don't need his help. We can pay for a field trip."

"But there isn't a field trip, Mel. I wanted the money to pay for the new curtains I ordered," Lindsay said.  She realized that Mel didn't know about the curtains either.

"Curtains!  What the fuck, Lindsay?  We agreed that... I don't need Brian's money so that you can go buy fucking curtains!  It's bad enough that you constantly ask him for money. I can fucking support Gus and buy you fucking curtains.  Well, fuck, never mind. I've got to go work!. We'll talk about the curtains later," Mel said.  

Brian hung up the phone and smiled.  He was fairly certain that Gus did not need new soccer gear, especially since he had just purchased some for him a few weeks back and he would bet that there was no field trip.  And so it had begun. He was actually looking forward to seeing Lindsay's face when he confronted her about the fake field trip.

His intercom buzzed and he answered it.  "Yes," he said.

"Mark Slater is here for his 9:00.  I took him to the conference room," Cynthia said.

"I'll be right there."

Brian grabbed his mug and walked to the conference room to truly start his day.

TBC