The next few weeks were uneventful. Brian and Gus entered into a familiar routine, Brian picking him up from school on Friday, spending Saturday with Justin, and Emmett coming over on Saturday night to stay with Gus while Brian went to a meeting. Gus had learned how to cook several dishes and had learned there was more to eat besides burgers and fries. Having Emmett come over once a week had introduced both of them to a vast realm of food options. While Brian was not totally on board with the idea of cooking every meal, he was beginning to expand his palate as well.
After dinner one Saturday, everyone was cleaning up the dishes and putting Brian's kitchen back in order when Gus asked, "Dad, you said we could have a family dinner. Aunty Emm and I have been cooking for a month and I know how to cook a lot of things. Do you think we can do it next weekend?" Gus grabbed a pot from the dish drainer and dried it, making sure that all the water droplets were gone before placing it in the drawer.
Everybody looked at Brian, wondering what his response would be. Gus with anticipation of his father agreeing to his request; Emmett excited to show off his teaching and culinary skills to the "family"; and Justin hopeful that Brian was ready to re-establish his relationships with his "family".
Brian finished drying the salad bowl and bent down to put it in the cabinet, "Well.... " Brian hesitated, knowing how important this event was to Gus. He needed to balance his son's wants with the reality of hosting a meal. He knew enough that this could be a really stressful situation and that the family would expect a lot. He didn't want Gus to be disappointed if it did not go well. He also was not really certain that he was ready for such a big step.
Looking at Gus' eager face, he said, "And what do you plan on cooking for this dinner? I'm not saying yes, but just curious."
"Aunty Emm and I were talking about it tonight as we made dinner. He said that chicken is pretty easy to cook and hard to mess up. I cooked the rice all by myself tonight and I've watched you and Justin make salad so that isn't hard." Gus explained what he planned for the menu.
Brian turned toward Emmett and asked, "Rice and chicken? There must be 1000 ways to cook chicken." The question left unspoken as to how accurate Gus' assessment was.
"True. But I was thinking of some honey mustard chicken and rice. You make an easy mixture of honey and mustard and coat the chicken and the chicken is placed on top of a bed of rice. Easy peasy." Emmett slightly clapped his hands together as he turned them from side to side several times as if dusting off something on his fingers.
Justin said, "He's right, Brian. Chicken and rice is one of the easiest meals to cook. You can use a meat thermometer to test the chicken to see if it is done. We do tend to be the ones to fix the salad so you are an expert at that one." He smiled at Brian, hoping that between Gus, Emmett, and himself, they could convince Brian to take this next step in his life. Justin knew that he really needed to determine what his on-going relationship with his "family" would look like.
"Okay, you've convinced me that chicken and rice would be a simple meal to fix. When do you propose we have this shindig? Debbie would have my hide if I had it on Sunday dinner nights. I can't exactly have it Saturday night as I'm not home and Friday night, you probably wouldn't have time to cook the food." Brian hoped that the issue of when to have the dinner would hopefully prove insurmountable and he would be able to get out of having it. This way he would not be looked upon as the bad guy by Gus, agreeing to the dinner, but unable to follow through due to lack of time.
"But Dad, it only takes an hour for chicken to cook. You could buy the chicken earlier and we could cook it Friday afternoon. We'd have plenty of time." Gus looked at Emmett and asked, "Could you come over next week and help us cook?"
Before Emmett could answer, Brian said, "Gus, this is supposed to be our dinner, not Emmett's. Tell you what, if Emmett is available next Friday, maybe he can come over and the three of us can practice. I know he's said it's easy, but it is always best to practice before you have an event." Brian had hoped that his explanation would defer the dinner, but since his son's idea seemed like a sound one, he couldn't put off the inevitable. He wanted it to be a success, so quickly found a solution. "Emmett, are you available next Friday to guide us?" Brian realized that he didn't feel awkward asking Emmett for help and that was a surprise to him. Maybe, he was beginning to feel comfortable with the idea that friends helped each other out without ulterior motives.
Emmett got out his phone and clicked on his calendar and frowned. "No can do. I have an event on Friday, but I could do it the following week."
Gus' crestfallen expression showed his disappointment, but Brian chimed in, "Tell you what, Gus. On Friday, when I pick you up, we will go buy the chicken, rice, and salad and try the recipe ourselves. Then next week, when Emmett comes over, we'll make it again under his watchful eye. This way we will have made it two times before we have everybody over for dinner. I think I would feel more comfortable having made the meal several times before we feed the family."
Gus smiled at his Dad. "I guess that would work. Justin, would you like to be our taste tester? You could be the judge to see how we did," Gus asked. He'd become very comfortable around Justin and had decided that he really liked having him around. He was super proud of his father and his sobriety but hoped that Justin would stick around. He wasn't really sure how long a sponsor would hang out, but it seemed that his Dad was happier when Justin was around.
"Gus, that would be fun. Let me look at my calendar to see if I'm free."
He pulled out his phone and looked at his calendar. "I can come next week, but the following Friday I have an opening to attend. This works out great. You can have me one week and Emmett the other."
"Great. It's settled. We'll cook for Justin one week and Emmett will watch us the next. I think that will work," Brian said, not used to the negotiation involved in such a simple thing as a dinner.
"We can invite everybody. Uncle Micheal, Uncle Ben, Uncle Ted and Uncle Blake, Grandma Debbie, Mom, and Momma. Justin, would you come when we have the dinner party?" Gus said as he listed all the people that came to his Grandma's house for dinner each week.
Justin looked at Brian, questioning Gus' invitation. He knew this was a family dinner and didn't want to intrude. He also didn't want to cause any difficulties for Brian. On the other hand, he thought that Brian would benefit from his presence as this would be a gathering of Brian's family, some of which he was still estranged from. Obviously, Gus did not know about Brian's difficulties with some of the people he listed. Gus seemed to be a very aware young man and he knew that he cared for his father, never wanting to intentionally hurt him.
Brian hadn't really thought about who he might invite to the dinner. He was still on the fence regarding his continued friendship with Michael. Also, there was obvious animosity between Brian and Gus' mothers. He knew he could not avoid them forever, but he also had not reached out to Lindsay, knowing that she was still angry about the money situation. He had thought of inviting Ted, Blake, Emmett, and probably Debbie, leaving the others off the guest list.
"Gus, let's try cooking the practice meals first, and then we'll decide who to invite. We might want to keep it really small the first time. Grandma Debbie has been having Sunday dinner since before you were born," Brian said as he chose the easy way out of the situation. "Right now, let's work on being master chefs."
"Okay,' Gus agreed as he placed the last dish in the dishwasher.
"It's time for this queen to get ready for the ball, or rather for Babylon," Emmett announced, swirling his hand down the front of his body. "I will see you next Saturday, Gus. Brian, give me a call and I'll get you the recipe for honey mustard chicken and rice." Looking at Justin, he said, "good seeing you again, Justin." He hugged each person and then grabbed his man bag, heading toward the door.
"Thank you, Aunty Emm," Gus said.
Brian opened the door and said, "Thanks." He watched Emmett get on the elevator and then closed the loft's door.
Gus was sitting on the couch and was holding the remote. "Dad, can we watch Master Chef Junior? Aunty Emm and I were talking about it while we cooked dinner tonight. He told me it is a cooking contest show for kids." Gus looked at his father, eyes eager with anticipation and hope. "I bet I could learn some cool things from watching kids my age." He tried to appeal to Brian's parental side and connect the show to learning.
After the talk they had a few weeks ago about his homework, they had chosen The Hobbit to read. Gus loved the book and looked forward to spending the time reading with his father and talking about the adventures of Bilbo. Once he started reading with Brian, he realized that reading could be fun and not necessarily a chore just for school.
"I guess so. Seems like all of you have conspired against me to have a family dinner. Maybe I'll learn something about cooking. After all, the idea is that we learn how to cook so that we can cook some of our meals. I think I'd rather watch someone cook than read a recipe." Brian said as he took a seat on the couch. "Justin, are you joining us or are your muses calling?"
Justin laughed at Brian's question. He'd been around Brian long enough to know that Brian never did anything that he didn't want to do. So he knew that, in reality, Brian probably didn't mind Gus' suggestion. "Sure, I like to cook. Although, I think you will think these kids are a little over the top. This is a competition, not a teach me how to cook show. If you want a show to learn how to cook, then you should watch 30-minute meals or 5 Ingredient Fix. They are shows where the host walks you through quick and easy recipes," Justin said, explaining his knowledge of the genre.
"You watch cooking shows?" Brian asked, not expecting Justin's response. He was always learning new things about his sponsor. Each thing he learned, he added to his internal profile of the man. He never dreamed that having a sponsor and learning to get to know someone would be so much fun.
"Sure. I'm always on the lookout for quick, easy, and delicious meals. I get tired of eating out all the time. I spend a few hours each week cooking up meals for the week so all I have to do is open my fridge and take out something that appeals to me. It's very efficient." Justin explained his weekly cooking habits and appeared to be very pleased that Brian was asking about his cooking,
"I guess I never really thought much about food. I go to the diner for breakfast and grab a quick sandwich at lunch. Since I've been attending AA, we go out to dinner almost every night," Brian said, saying out loud what Justin probably already knew. "I guess I could make something for lunch, but I'm usually so busy, Cynthia often just brings me a turkey sandwich."
"You could come by my place and eat dinner. It wouldn't be anything fancy, but maybe you could get some ideas," Justin offered. He'd been to Brian's home numerous times, but Brian had never been to his place. Since he already cooked on a regular basis and Brian was interested in trying some simple recipes, he could offer him several options to try, and then they could work from there.
"So are you offering to be my Emmett, teaching me to cook?" Brian teased, amused at the offer, but also genuinely touched that Justin would offer.
"Sure. You said you wanted to learn to cook and since Emmett is teaching Gus on Saturday while we are attending a meeting, you are missing out on the lessons. We see each other daily. There is no reason that we can't talk about a meeting while we cook dinner. It will definitely save some money and you might find that you actually like it. I'm sure it is healthier," Justin said, liking the idea of teaching Brian something besides how to work the 12 steps.
"I don't care about the money, but learning to cook might be good. I do get tired of eating at the diner," Brian said, admitting that he would like some other options. "Are you sure you want to do that? I mean you would miss out on some of the food that you make for yourself."
"I thought I would pick up the groceries and then we would make the meals together. That way, you are actually learning how to cook quick meals. Maybe, after Gus goes to bed we can look up some recipes and I'll make a list of stuff to buy tomorrow.
"Is everything in your life orderly? I mean you make lists to go to the grocery, you plan your meals... Does sobriety mean that my life becomes one never-ending list?" Brian said, starting to wonder if he liked having so much of his life planned.
"No. I find that planning things like grocery shopping and cooking makes it almost automatic. I don't spend hours figuring out what I want to cook or buy and it actually cuts down on wasted time. I can get in and out of the grocery in 30 minutes or less. I know exactly where everything is and I don't have to hunt for ingredients."
During this discussion, Gus had taken the remote and turned on the TV, finding the Master Chef Junior show on the Cooking Network. He tuned out what his father and Justin were discussing as he was more interested in the challenges on TV. As he watched, he realized that these kids were way better at cooking than he was and he didn't think he was ready to enter any contests when all he could do was follow a simple recipe.
Justin looked at the screen which had switched to a commercial and asked Gus, "So do you like the show?"
Gus shook his head, "Nah. I thought I would learn about cooking, but these kids are making up their own recipes."
"Justin tells me that there are cooking shows that actually teach you how to cook. Maybe we need to watch those," Brian suggested, realizing that Gus was disappointed with his choice.
"Really!! That would be really cool. Can we watch one of those? Do you think it is on now?" Gus asked, looking at his father for confirmation.
"Since they are on the same channel, I don't think the shows are on right now, but we can look at the guide and see when they are showing them. We can set them to record and watch a few later. Justin said he would teach me how to cook during the week. This way we can cook together on the weekend." Brian informed Gus. "Why don't you go to the guide and look to see when the shows are going to be on? You can set 2-3 to record."
Gus used the remote to find the shows that Justin had suggested and set three of them to record. "Done. I can't believe there is a whole channel just for cooking," Gus said as he tried to stifle a yawn.
‘I think it's time for you to head to bed. You still have homework and we are going to read tomorrow. We are almost to the end of the story and I know you said you wanted to finish The Hobbit and start the next book, Fellowship of the Ring," Brian reminded him. Gus turned off the tv, placing the remote on the glass coffee table, and gave Brian and Justin a hug. "Night, Dad. I'm really excited about having everybody over for dinner in a few weeks. It will be so cool."
Brian gave Gus a hug and said, "I'll be in to tuck you in. Brush your teeth and put your dirty clothes in the hamper."
"I know, Dad. No clothes on the floor," Gus smiled as he gently teased his father back regarding his strict rules about keeping his place clean. When Gus was at home, he rarely put his clothes in the hamper, leaving the job to his moms, but here he wouldn't dream of leaving his dirty clothes on the floor. He guessed that it really didn't bother his moms so they let it slide.
"Be back in a minute," Brian said as he stood up to go give Gus a kiss and tell him good night.
Brian tucked Gus in and went by the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. "I'm making coffee, do you want some or would you prefer water?" he asked Justin who was looking at his phone.
"Coffee is fine, thanks." Justin clicked through several screens and then bookmarked a few of them, saving them to review later.
Brian sat on the couch opposite Justin and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Looking up recipes. I went to the website for the two shows I was telling you about and reviewed some of the recipes from last week. They post them so the audience can review them and try them out. I was bookmarking a few that I thought we might try in the upcoming week." Justin explained his goal to Brian.
"You don't waste any time. What have you found?"
"A few chicken recipes, a meatloaf recipe, a few soups, and a white chili recipe. Do any of those sound interesting?" Justin asked as turned toward his friend.
"I honestly don't know. I eat the same thing most of the time. If you have noticed, I typically choose a salad or some basic chicken dish. Sometimes, I have meatloaf, but my repertoire of food is pretty basic," Brian said, as he thought about the many meals the two of them had eaten together.
"I guess I never paid much attention, but diner food is often pretty basic, nothing fancy. I think that is one of its appeals, you can pretty much expect the same type of food in any diner that you go to." Justin said as he continued to scroll through various recipes on his phone. "Tell you what, why don't I buy the ingredients for a few meals and we can try them out. This way, you'll get to sample a few dishes."
Brian nodded, "Sounds good. I'm not sure I want to spend my evening planning meals for the week." He took a sip from his water bottle, contemplating the upcoming dinner party.
"I see the wheels turning. What are you thinking?"
"You know me too well. Most of my friends would not recognize that." Brian was pleased and surprised at Justin's observation; pleased that his friend recognized his thought process, but also surprised that he'd allowed someone to get close enough to recognize when he was thinking.
"Brian, we've spent every day for the last five months together. I spend at least a few hours each day with you. I would hope after this much time together, I would know you," Justin said, grinning at Brian's observation. "But seriously, what is on your mind? Do you want to talk about the meeting tonight?"
Brian shook his head, "No, I'm good with the meeting. I think I've got the first step of AA down. I definitely admit that I have a problem with drinking. I was actually thinking about the dinner party and Gus' guest list."
"I don't have to come, Brian. I'm not your family," Justin said, hoping to ease Brian's mind.
"No, that is not the issue. I'd like you to be there. You could meet Ted and his partner and Emmett's partner. They are great. No, the issue is Debbie, Michael, and Gus' mothers."
"I see. Why don't you tell me a little more about your concerns."
Brian found that he could not sit still while he had this conversation. He stood up and walked toward the computer desk area and then back toward the kitchen several times before stopping by the island in the kitchen area. He randomly picked up an envelope from the pile of mail that he'd brought in, looked at the return address, and put it back down. He repeated the action several times until he went through all six of the envelopes he'd received today.
"I haven't talked to any of them in over a month. Mel and Linds are keeping quiet, which is scary as hell. I'm sure they are planning some legal shit to keep Gus away from me or to try and force me to start paying child support. Inviting them to dinner is not on my list of fun activities." Brian picked up the envelopes again and sorted them into two piles this time. "Michael hasn't spoken to me since I told him off. I'm not really sure if I want to reach out to him. If I reached out to him, he might take it as me changing my mind, which is far from the truth. And well, Debbie, Debbie is probably the hardest of them all. Debbie has always been Michael's staunchest supporter. If reaching out to Michael isn't successful, I would likely lose her support."
‘You've thought about this a lot. This isn't new," Justin said as he watched Brian play with the envelopes, unable to sit down. He felt bad for Brian who was obviously troubled by this upcoming dinner,
"And the person you didn't mention, Gus. You want everything to be perfect for Gus' dinner and don't want your own drama to interfere," Justin said, sharing his take on the situation.
"How'd you get to be so smart?" Brian said as he walked back to the desk and looked at Justin.
Justin shrugged and then asked, "So what are you going to do?"
"I've taken the bull by the horn up to this point, I guess I'm not stopping now," Brian said, using the cliche despite his dislike of them.
"Okay, But it is up to you, how many horns you want to handle. Nothing says you have to invite all the guests that Gus listed," Justin said as he stood up to walk toward Brian. He stood in front of his friend with open arms. "I'll help in any way I can." He gave Brian a hug. "You've got this."
Brian hugged Justin back, enjoying the human touch. He was getting used to Justin's hugs and thought back to the first time he received one. It had been unexpected, but not awkward. He'd thought about that first hug numerous times since that day, deciding that touch was important and didn't always lead to sex. He also remembered his first impression of Justin, trying to hit on him and Justin declining.
"I know you've got my back or horns as it were," he said, tongue in cheek.
Justin laughed at Brian's joking words. He walked back to his seat on the couch and said, "So back to my question, what do you want to do? Remember, sobriety is a journey, one that can't be completed in a day. Nothing says you have to tackle everyone in one day."
Brian let out a big breath and rotated his shoulders a few times, loosening the tension that he knew had accumulated there. Looking at Justin, he said, "I think Michael is the most difficult one. If I talk to him, I'll be able to make a quick decision if he will continue to be in my life." Brian stopped talking for a moment, frowning at the idea of talking to Michael. He knew he'd been putting it off for too long and really needed to say his peace. He had amends to make and it was up to Michael to accept them or reject them.
"Gus' moms will always be in my life due to Gus, so their presence or absence is not going to change things. Besides, having Gus every weekend has left them child-free. I know Linds used to tell me all the things they would plan for the weekends that I had Gus. Now, they don't have him every weekend and are used to being free to do whatever. Another reason not to invite them is I want to keep the drama down and adding them to the mix will surely spark some discussion. I want Gus' first foray into cooking to be as angst-free as possible." He rolled his shoulders again and walked back toward the couch where Justin was seated.
"Debbie can wait for next time. Keeping it small will be better. Besides, everybody but Michael knows about your role in my life and I'd like them to meet the man who changed my life," Brian said, the sincerity in his voice clear and proud.
"I'd be honored to meet your friends, but I didn't do anything. All the work was on your part. I'm just a friend helping you out."
"Okay. So, tell me about your next show. It's coming up soon, right?" Brian asked, tired of talking about the dinner party.
"You have a good memory." Justin gave his megawatt smile to Brian. "The show is in two weeks. Opening night is on Thursday again. I'll be one of three artists and I've got 10 pieces."
"Where is it? I'd like to come. I'm sure Molly will be there and I can escort her around, keep all the creeps from trying to pick her up," Brian said, offering his services as escort. "We had a good time at your last show and once she realized I wasn't trying to hit on her, we enjoyed the art."
Justin took out his phone and texted Brian the address and also sent Molly a text. "I sent you the info and also gave Molly a heads up on your offer." Justin's phone dinged almost immediately with a reply from Molly. "She says she would love to be your date for the show. She put date in parentheses." Justin made air quotes around the word date.
Brian laughed and said, "Great. I look forward to it. I assume you won't be available that day for a meeting, so I'll plan on going on my own. This arrangement with Emmett coming over on Saturday nights has worked out great, but I do feel okay going to a meeting on my own occasionally."
"Are you trying to tell me to go away," Justin teased, knowing Brian really didn't want that action?
"No, more like assuring you that I can handle an occasional day without a meeting that we both attend. I'm sure one day soon, I'll be good at going on my own, but as long as you are willing to attend with me, then I'll want you there. For me, a meeting is also an opportunity for me to work through my shit and you are such a big piece of my success. While I would hope that I would work through stuff on my own, knowing that you are there to hash out my thoughts has helped me so much."
"Thanks," Justin said. He felt this was a big compliment from Brian, but he knew Brian well enough at this point not to push back. He was only doing what a good sponsor should do, but in Brian's mind, he was going over the top. As long as Brian was successful, he was happy with the effort it took to get him there.
"My muse is calling so I think I'm going to head out. See you tomorrow night. Enjoy The Hobbit. It is one of my favorite books." Justin grabbed his messenger bag and walked toward the door.
Brian walked him to the door and gave him a hug. "Later," he said as he opened the door, letting Justin out of his home.
Brian went to the kitchen, grabbing a water and sat on the couch, thinking about the evening. He let his mind wander for a bit and when it landed on the needed talk with Michael, he concentrated on that event. He admitted to himself he was finally ready to make amends with Michael. Now the big question was whether that would change anything. He contemplated the conversation for a while and then decided that Michael's reaction was too hard to guess. He was tired of thinking and decided to go to bed.
On Sunday, Gus and Brian watched a few episodes of 30 Minute Meals on the Cooking Channel, completed The Hobbit, started The Fellowship of the Ring, and Gus finished his homework. About 4:00, Brian informed Gus it was time to pack up so he could take him to Debbie's.
"Dad, did you think about the dinner? I mean, you know, who can we invite?" Gus asked as he was gathering his school work to put in his backpack.
"Yes. We will invite Emmett, Ted, Blake, and Justin. I'm going to talk to Michael and maybe he'll come. For now, your moms and Debbie will have to wait till next time. I want to keep it small."
"Okay. That sounds good. That will be a lot of people to cook for, but I know we can do it. I love you, Dad," Gus said and gave his Dad a big hug.
Brian returned the hug and said, "I love you, too, Sonny Boy." Brian grabbed his keys and wallet and they walked to the car. They chatted about the cooking shows and the upcoming week on the drive to Debbie's and were quickly in front of her house. Gus grabbed his stuff from the back seat and said, "Talk to you on Wednesday."
"Absolutely," Brian smiled and marveled at the closeness that he and Gus had developed these last few months.
Michael had just pulled up as well and saw Brian's car. He walked over to the car, hoping to talk to him.
Fate had intervened and Brian rolled down the window, "Michael," Brian said, not really sure what the proper way to start the conversation would be. Brian looked at the dashboard clock, seeing that it was a little before 5:00.
"Brian," Michael replied.
"I've got a few minutes. Want to go for a walk?" Brian asked, deciding that his car might not be a good place to have this conversation.
"Uh sure,' Michael said. He waited while Brian parked his car and joined him on the sidewalk.
The two men started walking, both silent for a few minutes.
"Michael, I've been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating during the last few months. I've learned a lot about myself. Anyway, I realized that I used you to avoid responsibility for my drinking. You were always there to make sure that I got home safe and I want to thank you for your help. But I also realize that I should never have put you in that position. It wasn't your responsibility," Brian said, explaining his thoughts and hoping Michael would accept Brian's amends. He wasn't apologizing, but in a way, he was. Since Brian had not had much interaction with Michael, he'd not had an opportunity to show him that he didn't need Michael to watch over him. He doubted that he would ever need to put Michael in that type of setting in the future. This made the amends with Michael very difficult. Part of making amends was showing the person how you have changed and Michael had not been able to see that, nor would he probably ever do so.
"But, I'm your best friend. I don't care if you have a few too many drinks. I'll make sure you get home. That's what friends are for." Michael was happy to be talking to Brian and excited about the prospect of him returning to the bars.
"You're missing the point, Michael. By your willingness to watch over me, you enabled me to drink without any consequences. I shouldn't have let you be responsible for me. I'm an adult and have to be responsible for my actions." Brian heard several cars pass them, but ignored them. There were children playing in a yard and a soccer ball came rolling toward them. Brian automatically kicked the ball back toward the children and received a "thank you" from the small boy in the yard.
"Okay. So next time we go to the bars, I'm just supposed to let you get drunk and not worry about you getting home?" Michael asked, oblivious to Brian's real message.
Brian sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Michael, there won't be a next time. I told you I wasn't drinking anymore," Brian said, wondering if Michael was really that obtuse or just not willing to understand what Brian was saying.
"What do you mean there won't be a next time? I've known you since we were 14 and you've been going to the bars since you were 18. Ever since we could get in the bars, you would always get wasted, Michael said, stating what he believed to be the truth.
"Michael," Brian stopped walking and turned toward the other man. "I don't drink anymore. I haven't been to the bars in almost 5 months. When and if I ever go back, you won't see me drinking." Brian stood on the sidewalk oblivious of the sun beating down on his back or the wind that had picked up and was blowing a small piece of paper across the lawn to the side of them. He was focused on the man in front of him, watching his face, hoping for recognition and understanding, but fearing that neither would be coming today.
"But if you aren't going to the bars, what are you doing? I can't believe that Brian Kinney hasn't tricked in 5 months. Don't try and tell me that you aren't drinking on the side. Maybe you aren't going to bars, but I know you and I'm sure you couldn't go 3 days, much less 5 months without a drink. Stop pulling my chain. Let's go to Ma's and after Sunday dinner, we can hit Babylon. I've missed you." Michael reached out to hook his arm under Brian's, but Brian pulled away.
Brian shook his head and turned around, not trusting himself to say anything. The talk had not turned out any differently than he anticipated, but he knew that he was hoping that Michael's reaction would be different. It was as if the last 5 months hadn't occurred and Michael wanted to pick up just where Brian left off, going to Babylon, getting shit-faced drunk, and Michael being the ‘best friend' who saw him home. Michael had obviously not heard what Brian said a few months ago regarding his sobriety. Michael's view of Brian had not changed; he still was needed to ensure Brian got home from the bars. This was true even though Brian hadn't been to the bars in almost 5 months, Michael didn't even register Brian's attempt to make amends for his behavior which encouraged Michael to be responsible for Brian.
Michael called out for Brian, but Brian didn't stop until he got to his car. He got in and drove toward the AA meeting, glad that he would be able to talk to Justin.
TBC