"Justin?" Brian said his voice full of disbelief and something else that Justin couldn't identify.  Then his face turned cold and he demanded, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, Brian," Justin said fighting to maintain his composure.  Brian still looked the same and he felt his groin twist with old memories.

Brian scowled at him more to cover the growing problem in his trousers than anything else.  Christ, Justin looked hot, a little older but twice as desirable. He had to get a grip. "Come into my office," he said thinking he better get both of them away from the obviously interested gaze of Jake at the front desk.  He turned and ushered Justin down the hall doing his best to refrain from touching the boy.

Once the door was closed behind them Brian rounded on him.  "How the fuck did you find me?" he demanded.

"What makes you think I was looking for you?" Justin said trying to sound like Brian would be the last thing he would be interested in searching for.

"You're here, aren't you?" Brian asked with his patented sarcasm.

"As difficult as it may be for you to believe, I came here to see the manager of the Quoin.  Not you!"

"I am the manager of the Quoin."

"Well, I didn't know that until you finally condescended to come out of your office," Justin said sarcastically.

Brian glared at him.  He was torn between the temptation to ravage those delectable lips and the need to boot Justin's sarcastic butt out of his office.  The thought of Justin's butt made him temper his next words. "So what do you want?"

"I came here on business," Justin said.

"What?  Looking for a job?"

"Fuck you!  I don't have to work in a goddam brothel, though apparently you do!" Justin retorted.

Brian winced in spite of himself.  "This happens to be my new profession," Brian said with as much pride as he could muster.

Justin saw the wince, but he wasn't ready to let Brian off the hook so easily.  "Someone told me that the manager of the Quoin was gorgeous, well hung and an asshole.  I should have known it was you."

Brian looked like he wanted to slap Justin in the face.  Justin saw the vein in his neck throb and knew that maybe he had gone too far.  "Did you come all this way just to insult me? I thought you said you had some fucking business to do."

"I … I do," Justin said deciding that he better get to the point.  "I'm looking for someone who knows about Applegay Management."

Brian looked surprised, but all he said was, "You're looking at him."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I am Applegay Management."

"You are?"

Brian nodded.  "So what do you want to know about it?"

"What is it … exactly?"

"It's the name of the management company for the Quoin.  When I took over here that's what it was called and I never bothered to change it."

"So what does this company do?"

"Not much.  It's the name that's used to pay bills and send out dividends and things."

"To stockholders?" Justin asked.

"Yes, but there's really only one … stockholder."  Justin could see the light dawning in Brian's eyes.  "You're the J. Taylor that I just deposited a dividend for.  Fuck!"

Justin nodded.  "That's me."

"How the fuck did you get shares in the Quoin?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but they were remuneration for a commission I did."

Brian had looked stunned that Justin owned the shares, but he quickly regained his composure.  "So what do you want to know?" Brian already knew it was the large dividend that had brought Justin here.  He had wanted to find out who the shareholder was because he wanted to buy him out. How the fuck could it have turned out to be Justin?

"Why did I get such a big dividend all of a sudden?"

"Because I'm doing such a great job running this place," Brian said arrogantly.

"Was it a one time thing?" Justin asked ignoring Brian's manner.  He had come here for information and he was determined to get it.

"No, it was your portion of the profits for this quarter."

"You … you mean it will continue to produce revenue at that rate?" Justin asked stunned as he realized that he would be getting almost thirty thousand a year from the Quoin.

"I hope it will be even better in the future," Brian added.

"Holy shit!  I can't believe it."

"Would you like to sell your shares?" Brian asked suddenly.

"Why would I want to sell them when they will make me thirty thousand a year?"

"Because I'm prepared to offer you five hundred thousand for them right now."

"Five … five … hundred thousand?" Justin gasped and tried to steady himself.  "But how is that possible?"

"I told you I'm very good at running this place.  I take an excellent salary as well as dividends myself."

"You can afford to pay me that much?" Justin asked.

"I'll swing it," Brian said confidently.

"I … I don't know whether I want to sell.  I just found out that I had the shares."

"You've had them for a long time.  I've been depositing money for J. Taylor ever since I came here."

"But I never knew what was involved …" Justin let his voice trail away.

"I thought you said you didn't work in a Quoin," Brian said sarcastically.  "Taking the money amounts to the same thing. If you sell I'd be getting you out of this distasteful business," Brian said matter of factly.

"How … how did you end up here?" Justin asked genuinely wanting to know.

"That's none of your fucking business!" Brian retorted.

"Brian…"

"I'd like an answer.  Will you sell?"

"I said I don't know.  Can't we talk like civilized human beings?"

"We have nothing to talk about unless you're going to sell."

"We have a lot to talk about."

"Not going to happen."

"Then I might as well leave," Justin said turning towards the door.

"Wait," Brian said.  "I want you to sell me the shares."

"Why the fuck should I care what you want?  You won't even talk to me, so fuck off!"

Justin reached for the knob of the door.  Brian's hand shot out and grabbed it before Justin could open the door.  He pulled it away as Justin struggled to get loose.

"Let me go, Brian," he demanded.

"Not yet."

"Cut it out," Justin said trying to pry Brian's fingers off his wrist.  "When did you become a bully?"

Brian let go when Justin hit him with those words.  "I … I shouldn't have grabbed you," Brian admitted.

"Was that your idea of an apology?" Justin asked his voice dripping with sarcasm, as he rubbed his wrist where Brian had held on to him.

"I don't do…"

"Apologies?  How fucking stupid of me to forget!"

"Justin, I want those shares."

"And I haven't decided what I'm going to do about them, and you grabbing me is not going to make me any more favorable towards selling them."

Brian watched Justin rub his wrist and he was sorry for having hurt him.  He merely wanted Justin to stay and sell him the shares. But when he had taken hold of Justin, his fingers refused to release him.  He felt the old lust course through his veins. He had wanted to throw Justin on the floor and rip his clothes off. It had taken everything he had to let go of his wrist.

"Did I hurt you?" Brian asked as Justin continued to rub.

"What do you care?  You obviously want me out of your way, and you don't fucking care what happens to me to accomplish that."

"I shouldn't have done that," Brian said softly.  "I'm sorry."

Justin's eyes flew up from his wrist and stared into those mesmerizing hazel ones.  He almost believed that Brian was sorry, but he knew that Brian had changed, changed into something he didn't know and couldn't recognize.  Something inside him told him to be careful. "I'll be all right, but I'm leaving now."

"I won't try to stop you, but I'm going to ask you once more to sell me the shares."

"Is that the only thing you care about?" Justin demanded.

Brian knew or maybe just hoped that Justin wanted him to say that he still cared about him, and he did.  But he could never say that. They had been down that road twice before and both times had ended in disaster.  He couldn't do that again, no matter how much his body and his heart might want him to.

"I care about a lot of things, but at the moment I want the shares."

"Then tell me why they're so important to you."

"I came here with very little," Brian began.  "You know that no major advertising agencies would hire me."

Justin nodded.  "And you blamed me for that."

Brian sighed.  "Let's not get into that right now.  Suffice it to say, I had few prospects.  I had some shares in the Quoin that Ted had told me to buy a long time ago.  They were never something I took seriously, but then prostitution was about to be legalized.  I realized the potential and began buying up shares as quickly as I could find the money for them.  By the time I came to Chicago I had almost half and managed to get the remaining ones soon after. When I had half the shares I came here and took over.  I kicked the incompetent asshole out that had been managing this place. He was sitting on a fucking goldmine and he didn't know enough to use it. I want the rest of the shares so that I have full control over the Quoin."

"I should have known it would be about control," Justin said shaking his head.

"So will you sell them to me?"

"No."

"What?  You said if I told you…"

"I never said I'd sell them.  I said I wouldn’t sell them to you unless you told me why you wanted them.  Now I know and I'll consider it."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"That I might sell them to you."

"Might?  You fucking asshole!"

"Takes one to know one, so they say."

Justin turned towards the door and once again Brian grabbed his wrist.  Justin pushed him away with his other hand. Brian swung him around and against his body.  The resulting jolt of electricity when they came together could have lit a large portion of Chicago.  Brian jerked Justin closer pressing his body against his own. Justin stopped struggling for a moment as the impact of their closeness swept through him.

"Brian, please," he gasped fighting to maintain a sense of himself.  He wanted to be in Brian's arms and have the man fuck him, kiss him, make love to him.  He looked into the hazel eyes and felt himself slipping away … into the old Justin who could never resist Brian.

"Brian, please," he begged knowing he was losing.

Brian jerked him tighter and then his lips were on his, sucking, gnawing, chewing.  Justin felt himself melt into Brian and his arm came up involuntarily pressing the back of Brian's head, making the kiss impossibly deeper.  Brian's tongue was in his mouth and down his throat and wrapped around his soul. He was lost.

Brian spun them around and Justin felt his jacket pulled off.  He didn't struggle. His T-shirt rose up as Brian's hands found the bare skin of his sides and back.  His erection pressed against his jeans and he thought he would explode. He could feel Brian's stiff cock jammed against his groin.  He wanted to die, but only after he had Brian inside him one more time.

"Please, please, please," he heard himself moaning between kisses.  He wasn't sure what he was begging for. He had wanted to escape but that didn't seem to be important anymore.

Brian released his lips long enough to get his T-shirt off over his head.  Justin reached for the buttons of Brian's trousers and the man slapped his hands away.  He crushed Justin against him teasing his lips with his tongue and then plunging inside once more.  He pulled Justin down to his knees and bent the boy backwards forcing him to the floor of his office.

Justin groaned in pain as his leg was momentarily trapped beneath him and he thought Brian's weight might snap it in two.  That moment of pain may have been what saved him. He freed his leg and Brian crushed him to the floor. Something about all of this seemed familiar to Justin, like he was reliving a bad dream.

Out of the fog and lust of the moment came the image of him and Brian on the floor of the loft.  He had just come back from making love with Ethan and Brian had refused to let him shower. He had forced himself on Justin using all of his skills until the boy surrendered completely in a puddle of want and need.

The words were incised on his brain and they flooded back now.  "Go take a shower. You stink!" Brian had known where he had been.  Brian had proved that he could have him any time he wanted. Brian had shown that he was the one in control.  He could start or stop what happened whenever he chose. Brian was the master, the all knowing, the all powerful.  But not anymore!

Justin raised his leg and kneed Brian in the groin as hard as he could with the limited leverage he had.  He heard Brian gasp and felt him roll off of him. "Go take a shower, Brian," Justin said as he leapt up and grabbed his shirt and jacket.  "You stink!"

He opened the office door and taking one last look at the man gasping on the floor, he slammed it behind him.  He took one step down the hallway and leaned unsteadily against the wall. The plaster felt cool against his forehead.  A sob escaped as he stood trembling a mere foot outside the office door. He knew he needed to get out of there but he didn't seem to have any strength in his legs.  If he hadn't been leaning against the wall he was sure he would have fallen flat on his face.

After a minute or two Justin managed to take a deep breath.  He stood up straight and pulled his shirt back over his head.  His temples throbbed and his head felt ready to explode. The raw emotion of the scene in the office had drained him of all his strength.  He felt a tear run down his cheek and wondered almost like an impartial observer why he was crying. Was it for himself and his pain both physical and emotional?  Was it for Brian, the one he used to know and the one he had found inside that office? Was it for what had been, for what might have been, or for what it had become?  He didn't have any answers to these questions and he was too tired to think about them anymore. He managed to get his jacket on and walked unsteadily to the foyer.

As he turned the corner he saw the man he had talked to sitting at his desk.  Jake looked up and immediately rushed over to Justin.

"What happened in there?" Jake asked.

"Nothing … nothing," Justin mumbled.  "I need a taxi."

"Sure, but do you think you should be going anywhere?  Come over here and sit down."

Justin was sure that if he sat down he would never get up again.  "No," Justin said pushing Jake away and taking a step towards the door.  "I need a taxi."

"There's probably one outside," Jake said.  "I'll go see."

Justin managed to walk slowly behind Jake who disappeared outside.  By the time Justin opened the door of the Quoin Jake had a taxi waiting for him.

"Thanks," Justin said as he half fell into the cab.  He managed to give the driver his address and then let his head collapse against the seat back.  Wave after wave of nausea swept through him. He did his best to fight it back. He didn't want to throw up all over the cab.  He just wanted to get home.

Finally the cab pulled up in front of his building.  He managed to pay the driver and ran for the elevator.  He struggled to find the key to his apartment as he rode up to his floor.  He shoved the key in the lock and raced to his bathroom. He flipped up the toilet seat and it all came pouring out – the shock, the pain, the loss – all in a torrent of bile.  When nothing else would come up he grabbed some toilet paper and wiped his mouth. The foul taste was still there, but he knew it was more than the taste of throwing up.

Justin lay on the floor of his bathroom.  His legs came up against his chest and he rocked back and forth in agony.  He could hear sounds coming from somewhere and he realized he was moaning. The sound of his own pain came from deep inside him.  He had never felt so lost, so betrayed, so scared. He couldn't believe what he and Brian had become.

                                                              -----

Brian lay on the floor of his office.  He heard the door slam behind Justin. He gently cupped his genitals waiting for the pain to subside.  He couldn't believe that Justin had kneed him in the balls. He couldn't believe that he had attacked the boy like that.  He couldn't believe that he still had such strong and scary feelings for the blond. He couldn't believe that he had lost total control.  He couldn't believe the words Justin had screamed at him. But they were all true. He had to believe them. He had to deal with them.

Payback was a bitch, and Justin had certainly got his back today.  Brian gingerly sat up beginning to feel more like himself. He took a deep breath and pulled himself to his feet.  He leaned against his desk feeling a wave of nausea hit his stomach. He turned and staggered to the bathroom behind his office.  He shoved up the seat of the toilet and it all came pouring out – the bitterness, the pain, the shame – all ripped from his body. If only it was that easy to truly rid himself of what he had done.

He was always able to bend Justin to his will, especially where sex was concerned.  He knew Justin loved sex as much as he did, and he had felt that Justin wanted him. He could feel the boy respond until they had hit the floor.  Then something had happened. He had felt the difference, but at that point he couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop, and he made himself believe that Justin didn't want him to stop.  Until Justin had kneed him in the balls.

He grimaced as he remembered the pain.  Then the grimace turned to a grudging smile.  If nothing else, he had taught the boy well. He could stand up for himself, no doubt about it.  He wasn't about to let something happen that he didn't want to happen.

The only question was, when and why had Justin learned to be able to turn off his feelings for Brian.  He could barely believe that Justin had refused him. When had Justin become the stronger one in their relationship?

Brian blinked as he realized what he had just thought.  He still believed that they had some kind of relationship, something unfinished, maybe something sick, after what had happened today.  He had convinced himself that they were totally over, but he had been wrong. Now he had to find out what was going on and what he was going to do about it.

He sighed as he hauled himself up from the bathroom floor.  There were better places to think. He needed to find one of them.