Justin got himself into bed after his wrenching bathroom episode.  He slept for almost fifteen hours, awaking when the new day dawned.  The emotional turmoil as well as the physical had completely exhausted him.

It was Sunday, thank God.  That meant that he didn't have to go anywhere or do anything.  Tomorrow he was to start on the mural, but he had today to recover and to figure out what to do.

He wondered what he could possibly say if he ever saw Brian again.  They had hurt each other profoundly. He wondered if he should call Applegay Management and leave a message that he would sell his shares immediately.  That might put an end to it once and for all. That seemed to be the only thing Brian was interested in, but then Brian had kissed him and the world had spun out of control.

Justin shook his head.  He couldn't get his mind around what had happened.  It wasn't like Brian to bully him and force him to do anything.  Brian had always told him that his decisions were his own. Had the man changed so much since the last time he had seen him?

Justin threw back the covers and got out of bed.  He was ravenous. He had eaten nothing since a sandwich before he went to the Quoin yesterday.  He had thrown up most of that. He grimaced as he thought about his reaction to Brian's assault.  The use of that word even in his thoughts appalled him. Maybe it wasn't fair to call it that. He had responded to everything Brian had done to him.  At some point he wanted Brian as much as the man had seemed to want him. He remembered pleading with Brian, but truthfully he could not remember actually telling him to stop.  He was probably as much to blame as Brian was.

He poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat by the window as he ate it.  It was a lovely looking spring day. He wished he had something to do or somewhere to go so that he could get his mind off yesterday.

When he finished his cereal he felt a little better, more like himself.  He was putting the cereal box away when there was a knock at his door. He figured it must be Rick wanting to do something before he went to work.  He walked over to the door and pulled it open.

Brian stood there staring back at him.

"Go away!" Justin said firmly and tried to close the door.

Brian had his foot firmly wedged against the frame of the door.  There was no way he could shut him out.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Brian?  Go away or I'm calling the police."

"Wait, please," Brian said.  "We need to talk."

"Now you want to talk?  I don't think so." Justin had his weight firmly against the back of the door.  He might not be able to close it completely but he wasn't going to let Brian in either.

"Justin, yesterday was a horrible mistake.  It should never have happened. I was out of control, and I am extremely sorry if I hurt you."

The tone of Brian's voice was unmistakable.  He really did sound sorry. There was no anger or sarcasm or arrogance in his voice, only contrition.

"If I let you in, will you promise to keep your distance?  We're only talking. Is that understood?"

"Yes."

Slowly Justin opened the door.  Brian made no move to come in. He seemed to be waiting for Justin to give him permission.  That was a good sign.

"Come in," Justin said tersely.

Brian walked into the small apartment and looked around.  Justin waited for some snide comment about how small the place was or a crack about the lack of designer furniture.  Neither was forthcoming. Brian turned to face him.

"What are you doing here, Brian?"

"I needed to tell you that what happened yesterday was … a mistake."  Brian ran his hand through his hair and looked at the floor. "I shouldn't have done that."

"You're fucking right you shouldn't have."

Brian glanced up and then back at the floor.  He couldn't think of anything to say. He had hoped Justin would forgive him, but that didn't seem likely now.  "I just wanted you to know, so now you … know. I guess I better go."

"Is that it?"

Brian nodded.

"You came all the way down here to see me to say that?"

Brian nodded again.

"How did you find my apartment?"

"You're in the phone book."

"So are many other J. Taylor's."

"Not that many."

"You mean you … how many?"

"Five before I found you."

"Why?"

"I don't often say I'm sorry, but I am.  You had to know."

"Thanks," Justin said grudgingly.  Then he made a decision that he hoped he wouldn't regret later on.  "Um, would you like a cup of coffee? I was just going to make some."

Brian looked ready to bolt, but then he seemed to change his mind.  "Sure."

Justin went to make the coffee and Brian went to stare out the window.  He seemed to have a great deal of difficulty making prolonged eye contact with Justin.  Justin hoped it was because he was ashamed of himself.

Brian heard movement behind him and turned to see Justin throwing the covers over his bed.  He picked up some large cushions from the floor and lined them along the back of the bed.

"This is my sofa too," Justin said with a grin.

"Very practical … and efficient."

"Thanks.  Do you want to sit down?"

"Um, I think I'll use this chair," Brian said pulling one of the two chairs away from the small table."

"We can sit here," Justin agreed taking the other chair.  He realized it was probably a lot safer than the day bed. Somehow though, he wasn't afraid.  Brian seemed different today.

"Why are you staring at me?" Brian asked.

"You seem different today?"

"Different?  How?"

"I don't know … calmer, nicer."

Brian made a face.  "I wasn't very nice to you yesterday, but you took me by surprise."

"And it obviously wasn't a pleasant surprise," Justin said with a grimace.

"I was already in a bad mood."

"Rico?"

"How … how the hell do you know about Rico?"

Justin giggled.  Brian thought maybe that was the sweetest sound he'd heard in almost two years.  "The guy at the desk and I had lots of time to talk while I waited for you to see me."

"That's Jake," Brian said.  "And you really didn't know that it was me you were waiting for?"

"Not a clue.  I never thought I'd see you again."

"The same here."

"I only found out a couple of days ago that you weren't in Pittsburgh anymore.  I had no idea where you were."

"Didn't the gang keep you informed of my activities?" Brian asked with a trace of the sarcasm from yesterday.

Justin was instantly alert.  He studied Brian for a minute before he replied.  "I only talk to Emmett and we hadn't gabbed in almost a year."

"That's not like you, Sunshine," Brian said softly.  "Family and friends have always been important to you."

"I still have my family, and I have new friends."

"And a new life."

"Yes, a new life."

"Good for you."

"I think the coffee's ready.  Do you still take as much sugar?"

"Yes."

Justin chuckled.  For all Brian's vanity and watching his weight, sugar in his coffee was the one thing he couldn't give up.  He brought the two mugs to the table. Brian took a sip and grinned. "You always could make coffee the way I like it."

"Thanks, but it's not as good as the Quoin.  I had a cup with … Jake?"

"How the fuck long were you waiting for me yesterday?"

Justin looked for a sign of real anger, but Brian seemed more to be teasing him.  "Long enough," he said.

Brian shook his head.  "Trust you to make friends with the first person you meet.  I'm going to have to severely reprimand young Jacob for giving away company secrets.  You probably know as much about the Quoin now as I do."

"Just about," Justin teased.  "But don't be mad at Jake. He was just trying to be friendly and keep me company while I waited."

Brian chuckled.  "That's a likely story.  He probably wanted to get into your pants."

Justin gulped his coffee and coughed.  "He did think I'd be able to get a job there.  He said the customers would drool."

"Yeah, drooling is never a problem since most of them belong to the geriatric set."

"They can't all be that old."

"You have no idea."

"You're right, I don't."

"Justin, I meant what I said about your shares.  I'll pay you five hundred thousand for them, and then you won't have to think about the Quoin ever again."

"Or about you either?"

"Yeah, that too … if that's the way you want it."

"I'm not sure what I want, Brian.  That's why I couldn't say that I would sell you the shares.  I really don't know what I want to do with them."

"Maybe this will help you, one way or the other.  And maybe I'm crazy for telling you this, but … with your shares you own half of the Quoin."

"I own … own half of the Quoin?  You can't be serious."

"I am."

"Now I'm really confused."

"I told you yesterday that I had bought up half of the shares before I took over the Quoin.  I knew the rest of them were held by a J. Taylor. I had a little chuckle when I saw the name, but I never thought in a million years that it could be you."

"I could tell by the shock on your face when you realized I was J. Taylor."

"It was so fucking hard to fathom!  I didn't know what to do when all the implications dawned on me."

"Implications?"

"You own half of the Quoin.  Technically we're partners."

"Holy shit!  Partners?"

"That's part of the reason I kind of … went off the deep end yesterday.  I didn't know how to deal with that reality."

"But you do today?"

"No."

Justin chuckled.  "But you're here."

"I still think it would be best if you sell me your shares, but I'll abide by whatever you decide."

"That's good to know."

"You could make life very difficult for me if you want to."

"Is that why you're being so much nicer to me today?" Justin asked with a scowl.

"Fuck no!  I told you I'm sorry about what happened.  I was way out of line."

"Okay, so how could I make life difficult for you?"

"You're asking me to tell you how to make my life a living hell?"

"Yes, you know I'll find out anyway," Justin said with a little giggle.

Brian smiled at him, maybe the first genuine smile that he had seen since they had met yesterday.  "You are one smart little fucker, aren't you?"

"You used to tell me I was," Justin said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Don't … don't do that, please.  We can't go back. I think yesterday proved that to both of us."

"I'd hardly call that going back."

Brian stared at him then, trying to read what was in his eyes.  He didn't know what to say. He had apologized … several times. He wanted to forget about yesterday, but he didn't want to forget about Justin.  Sitting here talking with him was nice. It brought back memories of better times. Justin always seemed to bring out the best in him, except for yesterday.  He missed having someone to talk to. He knew that was part of the reason he had become so callous and unfeeling. He kept everything inside. He had no one to share anything with.

"A quarter for your thoughts," Justin said breaking into his reverie.

"I thought it was a penny."

"You looked like they were worth way more than a penny," Justin teased.

"They weren't worth anything," Brian said rather harshly.  "I probably should go."

"Do you have to?"  Justin regretted his words as soon as they were out of his mouth.  "I mean … I mean I don't have anything to do today. I'd kind of like to finish catching up."

"You would?  It seems like you know all about me and I haven't even asked about your life."

"I didn't think you were interested."

"Of course I am.  I didn't think you would want to tell me.  I sort of had to tell you about what I've been doing because of the Quoin."

"I don't mind telling you about my life," Justin said with a little smile.  "I kind of like my life."

"I wish I liked mine more," Brian thought.  Out loud he said, "So tell me."

Justin got them each another cup of coffee and then told Brian all about getting his first commission and how that's where the Quoin shares had come from.  He told him about the medical headquarters where he had done the lobby murals, and how that was why he had moved to Chicago. And then he told Brian about his current commission at the dress store.  Along the way they talked about life in Chicago and how it was different, and not so different, from life in Pittsburgh.

Brian could see that Justin truly loved what he was doing and was making a good life for himself.  He wished he felt optimistic about his own future. He knew he was going to make a ton of money from the Quoin, but that wasn't really how he had envisaged his life.  And, he had nobody to share it with. Unlike Justin he didn't make friends easily. Other than the people who worked at the Quoin he had never bothered to try to make friends.  And they could hardly be considered friends. They were merely employees.

Justin could see that Brian was impressed with what he had done with his life.  That pleased him. He remembered Brian trying to make him into the best homosexual he could be.  He thought he had turned out pretty well so far.

Suddenly they both realized that no one was talking.  They were still sitting at the little table each lost in his own thoughts.

"I should go," Brian said suddenly.

"Okay, but I wanted to ask about Gus."

"He's fine."

"Is that all?  What's he like?  Has he grown a whole lot?  I miss him."

"Yes, cute, yes and so do I."

"Do you see him?"

Justin saw Brian wince before he said, "I haven't actually seen Gus since I left Pittsburgh.  I call every once in awhile. I e-mail and send him things, but I didn't want anyone to know where I am."

"Why?  They must be worried about you."

Brian looked like he didn't believe that statement.  "They're better off without me. Gus is fine and the Munchers seem to be ecstatically happy with their new baby and their lesbo lifestyle.  They don't need or want me around."

"They're not Gus."

"That's true," Brian said sadly, "but I can't go back there."

"You could if you wanted to.  Emmett said they tried to find you, but nobody had any luck."

"I didn't want to be found."

Justin nodded indicating that he understood on some level.  "You should see Gus though. I'm sure he misses his father. He needs your masculine influence."

"I seem to remember someone telling me that Melanie could do that better."

Justin chuckled.  "I did say that, didn't I?  Well I take it back."

Brian gave him a funny look and moved towards the door.  "Will you think about selling me the shares?" Brian asked as he stood by the door.

"I'll think about it, but I don't know at this point."

"Okay."  Brian opened the door and turned to look at Justin.  "It was good talking to you."

"You too.  Kind of like old times."

"Yeah."

"I'll be in touch when I decide what to do about the shares."

"Sure."

With that Brian turned and began walking down the hall to the elevator.  Justin watched him go. And a part of him longed to call him back, to take him in his arms, to make love to him on his daybed.  He wondered if Brian had any of the same thoughts. Neither said anything. And then the elevator was there and Brian disappeared from sight.

Justin closed the door to his apartment and leaned against it.  That had gone better than he could have expected. He had actually been afraid when Brian had appeared at the door.  It was good that they had been able to talk and clear the air. It seemed like the old Brian had been there for most of the morning with him, and he had to admit he had enjoyed every minute of it.

Partners.  He and Brian were partners in the Quoin.  He had a lot of trouble getting his mind around that idea.  He sort of liked the thought of them working together if they could get along like they had today.  But that was pretty iffy, especially after what had happened yesterday. That had been scary and if being with Brian meant having that happen, then he wanted no part of it.

They still had a strong attraction.  He was sure they both had felt it. Sex with Brian had always been great, even when they had been growing apart.  But Justin knew he wanted something more than sex, something that Brian had never been able to give him. And the way Brian was now, he seriously doubted the man could begin to give him the kind of love or life he wanted.

And then there were the shares in the Quoin.  The shares gave them a common interest. But they also were a potential bone of contention.  Brian had never treated Justin as an equal. Somehow he doubted the man would want to do that in their forced partnership.  Those fucking stocks! All he had to do was decide what to do with them.

                                                            -----

Brian climbed into his Jeep.  He sat staring out the windshield thinking about what had happened in Justin's apartment.  Justin had been afraid of him, at least when he first arrived. Brian had felt the absolute necessity to make right what he had done yesterday.  Justin hadn't forgiven him, not in so many words, but he had invited him in. Things seemed to be a lot better between them now.

He had really enjoyed talking to Justin.  He was pleased that the young man had made a good life for himself in Chicago.  The revenue from the Quoin would mean that he could have a bigger, nicer apartment and an easier time of it.  But somehow he knew that those things weren't all that important to Justin. The boy had been so proud of what he had accomplished in Chicago, and he should be proud.  Brian wondered if Justin still drew and painted for himself, things not for his commissions. He hoped he did, because Justin was very talented. He had always known that, and he regretted that Justin had been kicked out of PIFA.  It was such a waste. All because of that bastard Stockwell.

Brian started the Jeep and headed out into traffic.  He wondered what Justin would do with his shares. He would like to have complete control over the Quoin, but he wasn't ready to have Justin disappear from his life just yet.  There were some unfinished things that haunted both of them. Could they work as partners at the Quoin? He didn't know about that, but they would have to if Justin decided not to sell.  He'd worry about that when and if it happened.