His phone rang again, and he ignored it again. It was Jennifer, he really didn’t want to speak to Justin or about Justin. It was one thing to know that Justin’s brain sometimes sent the wrong message or made him do stupid things. It was another to condone these acts, he could have gotten himself killed.

The phone started going off again, making it five times in a few minutes. Something was wrong, Jen wouldn’t be trying to desperately reach him knowing he needed time.

“What Jennifer?” he snapped.

“You need to come back now. Justin needs you, please.”

“Fine, I’ll be there soon.”

He could never really say no to Justin or stay away from him. One stupid mistake eleven years ago and that was all she wrote. The drive back to the hospital was quiet, he left the radio off. There was almost no traffic on the street because it was early in the morning now, only a little past two in the morning.

After a little bit of a run-in with the receptionist, he was let in to see Justin. He was still in the same room as before. When he walked in, he knew he had missed something big. Justin was on the bed, rocking back and forth.

“You need to stay calm, this isn’t good for your blood pressure,” Jennifer said.

“Stay calm! How can I stay calm when I have a ticking timebomb in my head?”

“What’s going on?” he asked. Both Justin and Jennifer’s eyes locked on him. They hadn’t noticed he had walked in the opened door.

“I-I can’t,” Justin said, curling into himself.

Brian wasn’t really the tender moments person, but he could see Justin was melting down. He’d never been able to let him drown in his own emotions. He was across the room, sitting on the end of the bed pulling Justin into his arms.

“Justin has a unruptured brain aneurysm,” Jennifer said, her face void of emotion.

“What? What does that mean?”

“It means I’ll have this thing in my head. A ticking timebomb waiting for the moment to burst and cause me to have stoke or worse. I know Mom, she’s been over there on her phone looking it up. Her face no matter how much she tries to hide means what she found isn’t good.”

“That’s not true, Justin. Lots of people never know they have one. It never ruptures. You’ll be fine, I know you. You’re active, you don’t have high blood pressure. You don’t smoke. I think the heaviest lifting you do is your easels. Baby, this is not a death sentence.”

“Is it from the stunt tonight?”

“No, the doctor thinks it was another gift from Chris Hobbs, like he hadn’t given me enough already,” Justin sobbed burying his face in Brian’s shoulder.

Hatred of Chris Hobbs came over him again. It was never far from his mind, the hate. The absolute unyielding hate. Couldn’t the ghost of Chris Hobbs just leave Justin alone for one moment. But no, he was always there. There when Justin’s hand shakes uncontrollably from overuse. There when he can’t walk into a parking garage. There when he can’t watch Gus play baseball. Now he would always be there, waiting for the moment to attack Justin all over again, this time from inside.

Justin fell asleep in his arms, he looked over at Jennifer.

“What happens now?”

“He’ll have to get a neurologist again. Take medication, be stress free or close to it. I looked up if he could fly with it, it’s not on the no-fly list.”

“You can’t be serious. We can’t go on the tour now.”

“Brian, this is all my motherly instincts pushed aside. As much as I want to bubble wrap him, I can’t. If he hadn’t of done this stupid stunt we wouldn’t have known about his aneurysm. He deserves this, don’t let Chris take it away from him too.”

Brian wanted to argue but she was right. How many trips had they been on that Justin already had this in him? Was it fair to just stop everything because of this? He would be able to postpone the trip long enough to get Justin an appointment with the best neurologist in Philadelphia.

Justin was silent on their way home. They weren’t headed to the loft but the house in West Virginia. Brian had almost sold it years ago, but he kept it, for that Justin was grateful. He couldn’t be in the city right now, too much on his mind…in his mind.

Once they were home, he shut himself in his studio. This wasn’t the time to talk to Brian, he couldn’t do it. In his heart he knew he should leave him. He couldn’t saddle him with this. If it ruptures and he has a stoke there’s no telling the damage it could do. He couldn’t do that to Brian. It wasn’t right or fair. Brian had already spent too much of his life taking care of him.  

“Justin, I need to talk to you,” Brian said through the door.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Please, don’t shut me out.”

Justin swung open the door, spoiling for a fight. “That’s rich coming from you. You literally threw me out of the loft when I tried to help you.”

Brian sighed. “You know why I did that, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“No because that was something that you did. Perfect Brian, who overcame cancer and opened a thriving Ad Agency at the same time. Why do these things happen to me? What did I do in my prior life to deserve this? I shouldn’t have bothered with getting Kip to back down. Or John. It probably wasn’t needed you would have come out smelling like roses anyway.”

Brian took a step back. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter…nothing matters.”

“No, tell me. What about Kip and John?”

“I had Kip blow me before I turned eighteen. Told him I would tell my dad if he didn’t drop the suit against you. You already know about John.”

“Yeah, only what Deb told me. Why did you do those things for me?”

“You hate lies. I wasn’t about to let your life be ruined by them.”

Brian stepped into the room, not giving Justin the chance to shut him out again.

“Get out,” Justin said, it sounded weak even to himself.

“Just listen to me and then I’ll leave.”

Justin didn’t want to know what kind of sacrifices to demon gods that Brian did to get him into Dr. Khara a few days after the ER. When he called, they said they could get him in a few months away. Dr. Khara wasn’t ecstatic about their travel plans but he didn’t forbid it. Justin’s prescription was in three-month supplies and he could refill overseas.

Their flight was tomorrow morning, as long as everything went according to plan. And it looked like it was. He couldn’t believe they were doing this, really doing this. The doctor had also given him something for anxiety, telling him to make sure to take it before each flight. That was a little worrying, but he didn’t want to dwell on it.

They left the doctor’s office with more info than they really could handle. It was decided that after the tour he would come back to Pittsburgh and have surgery. Something called a microsurgical clipping. It seemed the best thing for him given the scans the doctor ran.

“Can you believe we leave tomorrow? Gus couldn’t sleep last night, kept remembering things he wanted to pack,” Justin said as they drove back home.

“I can believe it, I’m paying the bill remember,” Brian said off-handedly. That bothered Justin a little bit, but he pushed it away, he wanted to make the best of what was supposed to be a good time.

The goodbye party went fine if not a little docile. Justin was sure it was because most of them didn’t think he should be going. But they thankfully kept their opinions to themselves tonight, Brian’s orders he was sure.

Their first stop was Stockholm after a layover in New York. He had shipped his work already, it should be at the art house by the time they get there. His agent was meeting him there, she was a bit scary if he did say himself.

“Can we go to the ABBA museum?” Gus asked as they taxied on the runway.

“No,” Brian said, his face pained.

“Why not?” Gus asked.

“We’re not that gay,” Brian answered.

The gentleman behind Justin’s seat broke out laughing before replying no one was that gay.

“We’ll get to do lots of things, we’re going to be there for a week,” Justin told him. After that they were off to Scotland.

Brian was so tired he thought his brain would just shut off. They had been travelling for three months and Justin was still healthy. He had made so many contacts that it was daunting. His paintings had taken a little darker theme, reminding him of those he did after his bashing. One was new though, it was one he refused to sell no matter how much was offered. When Brian first saw it, he considered setting it on fire. It was a it was a portrait of Chris Hobbs, a halo wrapped around his head, he was smiling serenely. The name of the painting was True. It’s scared Brian when he saw it. Chris was made into some kind of angelic creature, he knew how Justin worked. It meant there was a second painting to go with it, one that he wasn’t allowed to see. One day he hoped to see it, maybe after True was gone.

They were in Bristol, England now. Gus and Justin had gone on a bus tour while Brian graded the latest of Gus’ work. Homeschooling had been a lot harder than he thought it would be. Gus would try and get out of work and he would have to be strict.

His phone rang just as he was thinking of taking a nap. The caller ID said it was Gus, probably going to talk about wanting something or other.

“Whatever it is Gus no,” he said as he answered the phone.

“Dad, Justin’s grabbing his head saying it hurts really bad.”

“Where are you?”

“Blaise Castle House Museum,” Gus said worriedly.

“I’ll call for help, you stay where you are. Tell Justin I’ll meet you at the hospital. Stay will him.”

Gus was well versed on what to tell paramedics if this day ever came. He just wished he had went with them today, it was too much pressure on a little boy. They knew the risk, but the benefits were worth it, at least that’s what he told himself. Justin could have had the clipping by now if he hadn’t talked him out of it. This stupid trip, it was a fool’s mission after he was diagnosed. If Justin’s brain was more damaged now because of him, he would never forgive himself.

Gus was crying in A&E when he arrived. “Dad, they won’t let me see him. I’m sorry, he said he wasn’t feeling well, but I begged him to take me out after lunch. I didn’t know. I didn’t know he was really hurt I thought he was just tired. I’m sorry,” his son sobbed, throwing himself at Brian.

“It’s not your fault. Justin probably had no idea what was happening, if he did, he would have never put you in this position.” He wrapped his arm around his son and lead him to the receptionist. “My partner was brought in, Justin Taylor. I think his aneurysm ruptured.”

She did some clicking on the keyboard and looked back up at him. “He was taken up to neuro, the paramedics were told by your little boy on the way.” He had also told them, but it looked like that wasn’t relayed in the moment, he thanked whoever was listening that Gus was with him. The faster they knew what was wrong the better.

“Can we go up?”

“Yes,” she said, then telling them where to find the neuro waiting room.

A surely man greeted them when they got off the elevator. “I’m looking for my partner Justin Taylor,” he said to the man.

“No children under twelve,” he said with a strong Scottish accent. He probably wouldn’t have known if it wasn’t for their time there.

“He is twelve,” Brian lied. “Please, I need to see him.”

“Doctor is with him now, he’s being prepped for theatre.”

“Why would he be going to a theatre?” Gus asked.

“It’s what they call surgery, Gus,” he told him gently.

“Go on now but be prepared for Doc to kick you out,” he said, pointing them in the right direction.

An average height red-headed woman was with Justin when he arrived. Justin wasn’t awake, he didn’t know if that was a good thing or bad.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded.

“I’m his partner, this is our son. Can you tell me what happened?”

“We just sent him for an MRI, his aneurysm ruptured.”

“Will he be alright?” he asked.

“If you let me do my job and stop this nattering.”

“She’s not really a people person,” the nurse they hadn’t noticed until now said. He was a tall, gangly man of about thirty.

“That will be enough Nurse Cramer. Right, I’m off,” the doctor said before striding off.

The nurse had left him with the paperwork. Filling out insurance stuff, glad he thought to make sure he had traveler’s health insurance on the company plan. All Justin’s prior surgeries, allergies and vaxxes. He felt completely useless, not a feeling he liked.

His head hurt, it felt like he was under water. Struggling to come to the surface was harder than he would think.

“Justin?” a familiar, quiet voice asked.

Opening his eyes, he locked on familiar, beautiful hazel eyes. “Brian.”

He started to try and sit up but was stopped by Brian. “Calm down, you need to stay laying down.”

“What happened?”

“Your aneurysm ruptured.”

“My what?”

“Your aneurysm.”

“I don’t understand. Are my mom and dad here? You better leave before they see you,” he said with a bit of panic. He didn’t know what Brian was talking about, but his parents would kill him if they found him there.

“Your dad?”

“He can’t find out about us. I know, there is no us but please, I don’t want him to yell. I don’t think my head could take it. My throat is really dry. Can I have water?”

“Sure, I’ll go get the nurse. Just one thing, what’s the last you remember?”

“You came to see my art at the art show. Everyone saw your picture. I think Michael was going to faint.”

“Justin, are you talking about the art show at the GLC?”

“Of course, where else?”

“I’ll go get the water,” Brian said.

“What do you mean it could be permeant?” Brian did his best to keep his cool.

“I told you the surgery didn’t go according to plan. He had more damage than I was expecting.”

“I listed his medical history.”

“I know and I had scans of his initial injury and latest scan sent to me. But there are some things that can’t been seen on a scan. Things I wouldn’t know until I opened him up. We couldn’t do the Endovascular Coiling like I planned. The Artery Occlusion and Bypass was our only recourse. So far, our tests don’t suggest a stroke, that’s promising.”

“He thinks he’s seventeen years old.”

“There are worse things,” she snipped before her face softened some. “Mr. Kinney, I know the brain, I know how to fix it, if possible. But the thing his, the brain is a wonderous organ, but a very mysterious one sometimes. It doesn’t always react the way one would think. My professional opinion, he will get his memory back. But he will probably have some type of short-term memory problems.”

“How do I explain to him the baby he keeps asking about is eleven years old?”

She didn’t have an answer for that. He would also have to explain why they were in Britain. There was no way he could do this on his own. During surgery he had called Jennifer and Lindsay, he knew he couldn’t take care of Gus right now. Lindsay and JR were sick with the flu, but Mel was alright and should be flying over right now. Jennifer and Molly too. How does he explain to Justin his bratty little sister is a young woman now? None of this would make sense to him.

“Can I see Justin now?” Gus asked, bringing Brian around.

“Wait outside the room, I need to prepare him first.”

Gus nodded. He had heard the conversation with the doctor, he knew what was going on.

Justin was asleep when he went in, so he waved Gus in and they sat by his bedside. Justin slept for hours, Brian had ordered food to be delivered for Gus, he let Gus meet the delivery person downstairs.

“Brian?” Justin’s murmured.

“Hey, thought you were going to sleep the day away,” Brian said lightly.

“Why does my head hurt?”

“You had surgery.”

“Oh. So, we’re in the hospital?”

“Yes.”

“Is mom on her way?”

“Yes.” He didn’t stay she was coming from another continent.

“I was thinking about us. I know, I know, there is no us. But listen, I was thinking about college before I fell asleep. I think I’m going to go out-of-state. Maybe the west coast. What do you think?”

“Let’s not worry about that now.”

“You know I’m going to get a tattoo for my birthday. BK & JT FOREVA.”

“That’s a terrible idea.”

“Oh yeah. Maybe just a dragon with fire coming out of his nose.”

“Justin.”

“Or a cat with ‘Just hang in there’ over it.”

“Justin.”

“What about a turtle without it’s shell. Think of the scandal.”

“Would you shut the fuck up!” Brian said, losing his temper with Justin’s damaged and drug addled brain.

“I bet you could find a hot doctor to have your wicked way,” Justin said, not listening to Brian.

“I don’t what a hot doctor.”

“Oh, I guess looks don’t matter much with he scrubs,” Justin said, giggling.

“You’re high.”

“Am I? I bet I could fly out the window?”

“Settle down, there will be no flying for you.”

“Shouldn’t my mom be here by now?”

“She’s on her way.”

“Tell me something about yourself. Something that you don’t want to tell me. It’s the best time, I bet because I’m all woshy in my head I won’t remember.”

“I don’t think…”

“PLEASE!”

“You have the ability to destroy me.”

“Wow, that’s deep. I thought I was just the trick that wouldn’t go away.”

“You haven’t been that for a long time.”

“What do you mean?”

Brian stood up and walked to the door of the room. “I need to check on something.”

“How is Gus?”

“He’s fine.” He needed to check on him and make sure he knew what was going on.

“Good. Oh, Brian.”

“What?” He just wanted out of there to take a breath.

“I win.”

“What?” Brian turned away from the door and back to Justin, his eyes crystal clear and a wicked smile on his face. “You knew?”

“Yeah, since I woke up from the surgery. I don’t remember the aneurysm rupturing but I do remember the last eleven years.”

“You son-of-a-bitch. Do you know I was trying to think of a way to explain to our son how to take you not knowing who he was? How could you do this?”

“Why do you think I told you now. I would never hurt Gus.”

“What about me? What about hurting me?”

“Collateral damage. I take back my apology about the car thing. It was an awesome prank. I’m different than I was eleven years ago. I’m different than I was five years ago. My brain doesn’t work the way you expect it. But I’m not broken, it’s taken years for me to realize that. Different not bad. Yeah, sometimes I get enthralled by home shopping and buy you a waterproof briefcase. I’ll think of jumping out of a car to win a prank war. I’ll wake up from brain surgery and pretend I don’t remember eleven years. But when I was less uncontrolled, I did bad things too, you did too.

“You threw me out of the loft physically. You beat be down emotionally when it suited you to make yourself feel better. You brought tricks into the loft knowing I was there to rub them in my face. You got me a hustler for my birthday when I just wanted you to say anything nice to me. You wanted me to know that the RAGE party was all about you by fucking Rage. You gave me everything I ever wanted then took it away and told me I was wasting my talent not leaving you. I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect, no one is but I can accept that from you. Can you accept me?”

Everything he said was the truth, he had hurt Justin countless times and he could count the times Justin did on his fingers. “I’ll always accept you. Warts and all.”

“God let’s hope not. I don’t want to look like my Aunt Frieda too much. Go get Gus, I miss him. Oh, one more thing. I am getting a Yosemite Sam tattoo. He reminds me of a guy I was with in New York.”

Brian just shook his head, tattoo or not he would accept Justin. But next year he was getting him back for this trick, next year would be epic. Maybe different wasn’t bad, just a new part of their life together.