It had been four days since he had gotten his son back, Brian hadn’t heard from Justin since they took him away. Gus asked why he couldn’t call Justin like he did when he lived with his mothers. Brian explained as best as he could that Justin was off on an adventure and would call as soon as he was able, he hoped he didn’t lie.

Brian rented Lindsay the top floor loft so Gus could see her when he wanted. He didn’t understand why they all were so much older than they were a week ago to him. Sometimes he cried himself to sleep because he wanted everything like it was, Brian did too.

Lindsay had calmed down, but he suspected she had already hired a lawyer. His lawyer was already on the job, and unlike Lindsay he hadn’t been living inside a vodka bottle for the last seventeen years. All three of them; Lindsay, Melanie and he had taken the loss of Gus in a different way. He became even more a workaholic than he was before, Melanie actually took a step back from her job to raise her daughter while volunteering for missing children groups. Then there was Lindsay, when it happened, and she blamed Justin, but they hadn’t cut her off. They knew it was her hurt and pain talking. She had been the one to cut them all out of her life. Mel had tried to keep a relationship with her because of Jenny. It ended the night Jenny called Mel crying and begging for her to pick her up. She was hungry and when she asked Lindsay if she could have a sandwich Lindsay threw a wine glass at her. Jenny was eight years old at the time.

Melanie and Michael had to go to court again to work out custody. Unlike before, Brian did not help get her a lawyer. He saw the fear of Lindsay in Jenny’s eyes. He had the same fear when he was little for his father. It hadn’t been the first time Lindsay lashed out at her, if she hadn’t started hitting her yet she would soon. It was the reason Brian had made sure she wasn’t alone with Gus; she couldn’t be trusted.

“Why can’t I go to school?” Gus whined. They were waiting for his tutor to arrive.

They couldn’t send Gus to school because legally he was still dead. With the government being as cagey and secretive with all the paperwork they made him sign, he couldn’t really start the process of getting him and Justin declared alive again yet. That didn’t mean that Gus should fall behind on his education. He thought about getting Jenny to do it, but he had cried when they reintroduced them. He hadn’t understood.

The buzz sounded stopping Gus from getting more upset.

“Yes?”

“I’m Travis Morton, the tutor,” a smooth voice said.

“Come on up.” He buzzed him in.

Brian had told Ted and Cynthia that he would be working from home for the foreseeable future. There was no way he would be letting Gus out of his sight for a very long time.

“Your tutor’s is here. He’ll be like your teacher.”

“I wanted to go to school,” Gus pouted.

“I know but this is the best I can do right now.”

There was a knock on the door. “It’s showtime,” he told Gus.

Opening the door reveled a gorgeous looking man around his age. He was clean shaven with salt and pepper hair.

“Mr. Kinney?”

“Yes. Thank you for coming on short notice,” he said.

The man raised a perfectly styled eyebrow. “My pleasure,” he said slowly.

Brian looked down, trying to ignore the odd tingle in his spine. He hadn’t had any kind of real feeling for anyone since Justin. The worst part is, when he was around Justin before all he wanted was to pull him down and have his wicked way with him. But seeing him now, it felt wrong. The feelings he once had for Justin had changed. He was attracted to him, who wouldn’t be? But it didn’t feel right. It felt forced because of who he was. He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts. It had to be because they didn’t spend any real time together yet. His feelings would come back as soon as Justin was around him again.

“Right, well this is Gus. He’s a little upset about not being able to go to school. I was hoping that once you start, he will start to enjoy it.” Brian looked at Gus. “Gus, this is your tutor Mr. Morton.”

“You can call me, Travis if you want, Gus. Or some kids call me Morty.”

Gus giggled. “Morty sounds funny.”

“Tell me about it.”

Brian let them get acquainted with each other and start their lessons. He moved to his desk where he could keep an eye on them without hovering. He shot off some emails to some clients, one to Ted and one to his lawyer.

Soon Gus was giggling and learning at the same time. As the next hour passed Brian couldn’t help that his eyes kept straying to Travis and lingered on the man’s lightly muscled form. He looked like a teacher, but it wasn’t a turn off. Nothing about him was a turn off and that made his stomach twist painfully.

Justin laughed as Lex threw his cards down. “You a dirty, rotten cheat,” he said without heat.

“You may have the best poker face in the world, but you can’t play to save your life.”

Standing up, Lex playfully glared at him. “I told you, poker wasn’t my game.”

“I can’t play anymore canasta. I can’t do it. You need to learn another game. Or better yet, why can’t I have a television?”

“We’ve been over this. They don’t what you to have any electronics for fear it will mess with your brain.”

Justin rolled his eyes. He never heard anything as stupid as that. He knew there was no winning though, Lex wasn’t making the calls here. The more he had gotten to know Lex the more he liked him. It was one of the reasons he was so together. Lex brought him breakfast in the morning, filled out his schedule board but everyday he was done by five. Lex lived close so he would relieve Justin’s evening babysitters and they would just hang out until it was time for lights out.

“Tell me about the guy?” Justin asked. Lex had confessed there was someone he had feelings for.

“What guy?”

“The guy you told me about yesterday.”

Lex lost his smile. “Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“Is it because you think he’ll get turned off by…you know,” he said, hating how Lex felt so broken.

“Who wouldn’t? I don’t even have the excuse that I lost my legs in action. A stupid dare and look at me now.”

Justin had by accident found out about Lex’s legs. He was a young lance corporal in the marines when he went home for leave one Christmas. He had a boyfriend, friends and by all accounts a good life. Drank too much and took a bet from an even drunker friend. He didn’t tell Justin what the bet was but what did happen. He passed out in below freezing temperatures. Frostbite led to gangrene in both legs, he lost both below the knee.

The boyfriend broke up with him because of it. He was medically discharged from the marines. He lost his dream, his love and his legs in a few weeks’ time. That’s how he ended up here as an outside contractor and not a part of the military anymore. Justin had also found out they were only a few months apart in age, well if he had aged. Lex will be forty-one on his next birthday and Justin would be twenty-four.

He had never been like Brian. Wanting to be young and beautiful forever. He just wanted love…real love. He wanted the whole marriage, kids and taking nerve wracking family vacations. But most of all, he wanted those things with Brian. That wasn’t going to happen now, Brian wouldn’t want more children. He had Gus back and that was great, but Justin wanted a child that looked like him.

“Well, now I feel like throwing myself off the medical building.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Lex said, putting his arm around him. “Anyway, I have good news for you.”

“What?”

“You know that visit with the boyfriend you’ve been begging for?” Justin nodded. “It’s been cleared. Brian and Gus will be here tomorrow. They can’t come to the facility, so we’ll be meeting them at Frances Scott Key Memorial Park.”

“You’re kidding? Brian…I get to see Brain and Gus tomorrow? I need to shave.” He’d let some of his grooming get a little out of hand. As he turned, he thought he saw Lex’s eyes narrow but that couldn’t be right. He had so much to plan.

Gus had been chatting on the flight to Washington, DC. The flight was only an hour, but his nerves were getting the best of him. Gus seemed fine but Brian was sure it was because of Justin. Gus felt a connection with Justin since he had been with him when everything changed. Gus still had no memory of the time he was away. It was like he fell asleep for seventeen years.

“Do you think he missed me?” Gus asked as they rode in the taxi.

“You know he did. He told you on the phone.” Justin was able to call them last night just before he left the medical facility…whatever that was.

The things that went through his head was terrifying to think. He loved Justin and didn’t want him to be used. There had always been rumors about the government not caring about people’s rights, just running over the little guy. What kind of tests had they done on Justin? He hadn’t been allowed to tell them and they were forbidden from being asked. Even the meeting they were going to have a laundry list of rules they had to follow. There was a bit of worry on his mind about Gus being near these people again, but he couldn’t leave him alone in Pittsburgh, he trusted no one but himself right now.

There were already dark SUVs all over the parking area, alerting him that they were already there. He hoped that he could at least talk to Justin without them sitting right next to them.

Gus giggled as the driver told them to have a good day in a fake southern accent.

It was easy to find them, the park wasn’t big by any stretch of the imagination, in fact there was only really one place for them to be. Justin was sitting alone on a half-circular bench around the inside of the memorial. He looked up at Brian as he neared.

Brian took a step towards him, Gus squeezing his hand. Suddenly a large figure stepped in front of Justin. He was a menacing looking man; Brian couldn’t place him with the rest of the group. He wasn’t dressed in a suit like the agents that were clearly there or the casually formal clothes of the doctors, he more looked like he should be on some survivor show. He had short, black hair and wearing a shirt that showed his muscled form. There was something a little odd about the way his jeans fitted the calves of his tight jeans though.

“It’s alright, Lex. You can stand down,” Justin said with a laugh.

The look that Lex shot Justin was unmistakable, he was infatuated with Sunshine. Brian had seen the look on many men and women over the years. He waited for jealousy to rear its ugly head, it disturbed him when it didn’t. Had he fallen out of love with Justin in the last seventeen years? No, that couldn’t be it.

The man hesitated but moved, not too far though. Gus rushed to Justin, wrapping his boney arms around Justin’s neck. Once Justin hugged him and let go, he stood, and Brian gave him a hug. Justin then kissed him, and it felt awkward, he wondered if Justin felt it too. One look into Justin’s eyes he saw he had. Justin lost his real smile and the fake one he used to use replaced it. He hated that smile; it was the one that said he was hurting but didn’t want anyone to know.

“So, how are you doing?” he asked, taking a seat.

Justin sat back down, Gus crawling up beside him. “It’s really not that bad except for completely being shut off from the outside world. I’m not even allowed to go on the computer.

“That’s for the accuracy of the tests,” a woman said from the group of formal looking people.

“You said I would get a little bit of privacy, that means you can listen but not put your nose in every other word,” Justin said, glaring at the woman.

“We are being very generous, Mr. Taylor,” she snapped.

Justin rolled his eyes and turned back to Brian. “Have you talked to my mom? I’ve only been able to call her once. She says she wants to see me, but they are being weird about it. Something about seeing too many people. I can’t wait until I get to go home.”

“She’s good, she’s staying in Pittsburgh for a while. Molly had to go back home. She was so disappointed she didn’t get to see you after flying in.”

“I’m sorry too. Does she have any kids? Mom just cried and asked me if I’m eating like a hundred times.”

“She does. Georgia is five and Justin is three.”

“She named her son after me? I thought everyone thought I stole Gus?”

Brian shook his head. “No, that was the cops and Lindsay, which was only because she let her parents get into her head. Everyone else knew you never would have just taken him. Anything else you want to know?”

“Everything. I’ve only had enough time to ask about you and Gus last night. Please, tell me everything. How is Emmett? Ted? Ben? I saw Michael, he looked fine.”

“Emmett and Ted are good, they’re living together.” Justin’s eyebrows shot up. “No, not like that. Just to keep each other company. Blake fell off the wagon a while ago and took off. Emmett and Drew broke up when he caught Drew with a twenty-three-year-old dancer.”

“Poor Ted…and Emmett. I notice you didn’t say anything about Ben, I was worried to ask.”

“He’s been gone a while too. Accident took him before the disease did. It was a tough time, but we had been through a lot by then. We mourned, dusted ourselves off and went on.”

“I’m sorry,” Justin said, his fake smile slipping.

“It wasn’t your fault. Something happened to you and Gus, I for one want to know. The sooner we find out, the sooner you come home, right?”

“I should be coming home in ten days, I’m counting. Alright, tell me more.”

“Guess who I ran into a few years ago?”

“Brad Pitt?”

Brian laughed. “No one that good. Ian.”

“Ian? Ian who?” Justin scrunched up his nose before he seemed to catch on. “Ethan? You saw Ethan?”

“Yeah.”

“How is he?” Brian heard mild curiosity but no real feelings. He brought the man up to see if his own old jealous feelings resurfaced. They did but more like a memory of an ache. That didn’t make him feel any better, worse in fact.

“He was good. Married, his husband seemed nice, couple of rugrats. He’s music teacher at St. James.”

“You’re kidding me? Wow, I guess even St. James can change. I’m glad for him, I hope he’s happy.”

That was the thing about Justin, it didn’t matter what wrong they did to him, he actually wanted others to be happy. There was only one exception, and no one could blame him.

“Do you know how my dad is?” Justin asked quietly.

Brian avoided his gaze and looked away. It was the first time he noticed Gus had wandered off and was playing some card game with the bodyguard guy.

“Brian?”

He looked back; he knew he wasn’t hiding anything from Justin. “He died.”

With a broke whisper, Justin asked, “How?”

“Just after you disappeared, there was a fire. The fire alarms were faulty, bad batch they said. They think the smoke overcame them and they never even woke up.”

“They?”

“Molly said that she had been sworn to secrecy from your dad, you know what he was like. Him and his girlfriend had just a little girl. She was only a few weeks old. The fire took the three of them and the girlfriend’s two-year old twins.”

“He’s dead? I had another sister, and she’s dead too?”

“Christmas Eve night, just days after you disappeared.”

“Any other deaths I should know about? Best to tell me now and rip the bandage off.”

“Carl died of heart attack, blockage he didn’t know about. There is one thing I need to tell you about, but I don’t know how.”

“What? It can’t be worse than what you just told me.”

“Hobbs.”

“What did he die? I don’t think I’ll shed any tears.”

“No, he attacked…someone. He ended up killing them, he’s doing five to twelve in prison.”

“He killed someone and only got five to twelve years. I don’t even know why I’m surprised.”

“There’s more to it. Apparently, Hobbs had been going to a few places and hooking up with guys. It’s been years, no one really remembered him that didn’t know you personally. In Poppers…he ran into someone who did.”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

Brian looked over at Gus to make sure he was occupied. This was going to hurt; Justin had already just learned about his dad. But there was no way he would get away without telling him.

“She was there with a friend. The friend was getting over a break up. She just wanted him to meet a cute guy and get a spark or whatever women think happens.”

He saw the moment Justin knew who it was. He shook his head frantically. “No, he didn’t kill Daphne. She’s alive. Mom would have told me if she wasn’t alive. You’re lying.”

Everyone’s attention was on them. Gus looked worried but stayed with the bodyguard. Everyone else looked weirdly indifferent.

“I’m sorry, she called him out for his actions. Told everyone there what he was. Later that night he followed her home, waited until the friend left. Broke in her house and strangled her.” He didn’t tell Justin what else Hobbs did to her. He couldn’t. The judge was a bastard and only gave Hobbs the minimum of what he had to; Brian guessed he’d been paid off. The trial had been awful they made it look like Daphne went looking for him. It was a farce not a trial.

“When?”

“Few years after you disappeared.” Five years after to be exact. Hobbs would be getting close to his release date. So far, all his attempts at parole have been thwarted by Daphne’s family, Mel, Debbie and Jennifer.

Justin took a few breathes and wiped the tears streaming down his face away. “I’m ok, I am. I just need a moment. Tell me something not terrible.”

“Jenny Rebecca wants to be in the FBI, she’s changing her major because of it.”

The tears reformed. “No, no, no. She’s only a toddler. None of this is right. We’re not right.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Last week you were the love of my life, I wanted to spend my life with you. But overnight, you became someone I don’t know.”

“You mean because I’m older.”

“No, that’s the least of all of this. It’s because you’ve had a whole life without me.” Justin spread his hands out in front of him. “I’ve always wanted you and until we were in that hospital room, I’ve always known you wanted me. But I felt it then, your feelings have changed. I don’t blame you. Knowing that, has made me feel something different, something new.”

“What?”

“Ever since I was seventeen, I wanted to be the one with Brian Kinney. Now, I need be just me. When I was in New York, all I could think about was getting back to you. Becoming a success so you would be proud. I don’t know how but knowing you don’t feel the same about me anymore, I can breathe.”

“And you couldn’t when we were together?”

“See, that’s the thing. If I could go back I would in a second…no hesitation. You’re not my Brian, you grew up. And I’m not your Justin because I didn’t. You thought I was dead. You may have not wanted to believe it, but you did. You already said goodbye to me. That’s why you feel different, you’ve already let go.”

Brian wanted to deny it, but it was to truth, every word. “I still love you.” Words that had been so hard to say years ago flew out of his mouth.

“And I still love you. But it’s different, isn’t it?”

Brian nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’ll call when they release me. But I think this is it. I’ll still check on Gus but it’s time for you to move on.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.” He had already tried that before, it never worked. Of course, before he didn’t have the closure.

The rest of the visit was quiet. Brian knew it was too much for Justin. Finding out about his father and his family. Then what happened to Daphne at the hands of Chris Hobbs. Gus told Justin about his tutor, about Lindsay living close. Told him about how everyone changed, and he didn’t like it. Brian just hoped that they would be alright.