Falling into Place  

Pittsburgh – Brian's Loft

Brian sat on the couch thinking through everything he had done.  He had spent the last week talking to all the people involved and arranging every contingency that he could think of.

Justin had called Melanie and agreed to meet with her and Michael on Saturday, the day after tomorrow.  He would catch a bus after his last class on Friday and his mother would meet him at the bus station. Saturday morning she would bring him to Melanie and Lindsay's house to meet with Michael.

Brian was pleasantly surprised at everyone's eagerness to help.  The most reluctant had been Jennifer, and Molly had finally made her wake up to what was going on with Justin.  Everybody else had agreed to Brian's plan, almost without question. Even Michael was on board.

Brian sighed.  He wished they didn't have to do this.  If all these people had shown some concern about Justin after the Rage party, none of this would be necessary now.  Brian shook his head. Who was he kidding? There was no point in trying to blame the others, because it was all his fault.  He had crushed Justin at the Rage party, forced him to go with Ethan, destroyed his sense of worth. That had been the beginning of Justin's slide into depression, and there was only one person responsible for that, him!

He finished his mental check list of things he had done.  He couldn't think of anything else. He hoped that it would be enough to turn Justin around.  He wanted Justin to be the Sunshine he knew and… He still couldn't complete that statement, even in his head.  He wondered if he would be able to on Saturday.

All he could do now was wait.  

Dartmouth – First Year Residence

Justin crammed some clothes into his backpack.  He knew he couldn't take his suitcase because Andy would be sure to report that to his father.  His father couldn't know about this trip to Pittsburgh. He'd flip out. Even if it was just Michael he was meeting with, his father would see that as falling back into his old habits.

He wanted this all to be over.  He had made it clear to Melanie that he would only speak with Michael.  No one else was to know he was there, except Gus and Lindsay. He longed to hug Gus one more time, one last time.  Brian was not to know that he was in Pittsburgh. Melanie had arranged everything for him.

Justin shouldered his backpack and headed down to his next class.  He would catch a cab right after that class, and that would get him to the bus terminal in time for his bus to Pittsburgh.  Justin grinned at the irony. His father was keeping him under such tight control that Justin had almost every penny his father had given him for spending money.  He had nothing to spend it on. He never went out or drank or bought anything. Thus, his father was financing his trip to Pittsburgh.

As Justin passed the security desk where Andy McPherson was stationed, he heard the man call his name.  He froze.

"Yes?" he said turning around.

"You're loaded down today, aren't you?" Andy asked, pointing to Justin's backpack.

"A bit," Justin replied.  "I have to go to the library after my last class.  I've got lots of books to return and a lot more to take out."

"Have a good day," Andy said, pleasantly, and he allowed Justin to escape.  'Poor Kid!' Andy thought. 'He sure doesn't have much of a life. I'm glad I never had a father like his.'

Justin rushed through the door of the residence.  He let out the breath he had been holding. He wanted to look back and make sure Andy wasn't picking up the phone to call his father, but he didn't dare.  He thought he had escaped and he didn't want to arouse any suspicion in the security guard. He hoped he was home free.

He began walking toward the lecture hall.  He realized after a minute or two that he felt better than he had in days.  He was looking forward to going to Pittsburgh. He wanted to see his mother and Molly and Gus.  Michael he could have done without. He wished someone else would be there, but that could never be.  

Pittsburgh – Brian's Loft

Brian had worked late on Friday, trying to keep his mind off of what was to happen Saturday morning.  He finished up his take-out and debated going to Babylon. He could use a little anonymous sex to relieve some of the tension he was feeling.  As he cleaned up his dishes, the front door buzzer rang.

"Yeah?" he said as he pushed the intercom button.

"Brian, it's me," Michael said.  "I need to talk to you. Can I come up?"

"What's wrong?" Brian asked, worried that something had gone wrong with their plan.

"Just let me in and I'll tell you."

Brian buzzed him up and opened the door to the loft.  When the elevator came into sight, Brian caught the strained look on Michael's face.

"What's going on?" Brian asked.

"I just had a fight with Ben," Michael said.

"What about?"

"Justin."

"What do you mean?"

"I tried to run through with him what I'm going to say to Justin tomorrow.  He told me that I couldn't convince a hungry dog to eat Alpo," Michael said.

Brian chuckled.  Ben had quite a way with words.  "What was wrong with what you were saying?"

"He said I didn't sound sincere."

"And are you?"

Michael made a face.  "You know I think Justin was to blame for what happened.  I can't pretend that he didn't screw around behind your back."

Brian felt his teeth clench.  When was Michael going to get over this?  They had to be ready for tomorrow. "Michael, you are going to have to believe what you say or Justin will see right through you.  You said you could do this for me and for him. Are you backing out?"

"I don't want to, but I'm not sure I can mean it."

"We've been over this time and again.  Justin was not the only one at fault. It took two of us to screw things up."

"But I tattled on him.  He'll never let me forget that."

"Oh, so now I get it.  You think you're going to be blamed, so you're going to lay the guilt trip on Justin, and then you don't have to face your part in this."

"Brian?"  Michael couldn't stand what his best friend had just said to him.

"Am I right?" Brian demanded with no sympathy.

"No…yes…kind of.  I know I should have talked to Justin before I told you, and I'm sorry I didn't, but it's too late to fix that now."

"That's exactly what you need to tell him, Mikey.  I believe that you're sorry for where it led. I'm sorry.  Everybody's fucking sorry!"

"But he won't believe me.  He thinks I deliberately tried to turn you against him."

"Did you?" Brian asked.  This was no time for pussyfooting around.

"Maybe.  I thought I really got to know Justin while we worked on Rage.  I thought he was a great kid. Then he pulled this crap with Ethan and I hated him.  It seemed like all the good things I had begun to think about him were lies. He was just a manipulating little fuck taking advantage of you and Mom and me."

"So now we get to the truth," Brian sighed.  "Do you still think that?"

"I try not to."

"That's why Ben said you didn't sound sincere, because deep down you still believe Justin manipulated us all, used us and screwed around behind our backs.  Right?"

"I guess so," Michael admitted, somewhat defiantly.

"So my question to you is, have you ever covered up things you've done to protect yourself and buy time?  Have you ever lied to protect yourself? Have you ever wanted things you couldn't have?"

"Yes," Michael said softly, thinking about all the years he had wanted Brian, about all the lies he had told at the Big Q.

"Then remember that when you are talking to Justin tomorrow."

Michael looked forlornly at his friend.  "I'll try," he said honestly, "but I don't think he'll believe me."

"All you can do is try, Michael.  Nobody can ask more." Brian reached over and pulled his friend into a warm hug.  "It's going to work. It has to."