Chapter 7

Justin woke to Gus’ soft snoring.  He moaned softly as he rolled out of bed.  He took a painkiller and went to use the bathroom.  When he returned Gus’ head was perched on one hand looking at him.

“Sorry, I am sure I woke you.”  Justin said.

Gus saw Justin’s bruised chest as he walked back to the bed.  “Oh, Dad, that has to hurt.”

“Ya, I guess it does but it is a good distraction from what really hurts.”  Justin slipped back in bed and Gus pulled his dad close.

“So have you talked to Brian?” Justin realized Gus called him by his name.  

“No, he won’t answer my calls.  He said he wasn’t sick but I don’t know if I can believe him.  I just don’t want to believe he could fall out of love so easily and he would never stop loving you and the family. That’s why I am so confused.  Things had been better than ever before. He seemed more content and secure than he ever has been….I’m sorry, this is not your prob…”

“Dad, don’t you dare say it isn’t my problem. You are my dads and I love you both. And Pops,” he went back to what was most comfortable, “He has a lot of baggage but I thought he had unpacked his biggest problems.  After I sleep a little more, I am going to try to track him down. We will figure it out, Dad.”

Justin kissed Gus.  “I am going to get out of here so you can sleep.  I’ll send Shelby up if I see her. I really like her.”

“Um, Dad, maybe we can talk later?  About Shelby.”

Justin was pulling on some shorts.  “I would love to talk later. You sleep now and then love your girl.”  He strode out, cringing as he slipped a T shirt on.

Justin knew he had to spend time out of that room and with people he loved and who still loved him.  He walked into the kitchen to find Claire making breakfast for the kids while the staff made breakfast for the guests.  Justin hugged Brinn from behind.

“Oh, Daddy, are you feeling better? Did you know Shelby slept with me?”

“I still need gentle hugs but I am healing, and yes, your brother slept with me.”  He saw the excitement in her eyes. “He came in very late and needs to sleep for a bit yet.”

“Ok. Have you heard from my dad?  I really miss him.”

“I know you do, Sweetie.  We all do.” Claire handed Justin a cup of coffee and nodded his thanks.  

“What would you like for breakfast, Justin?”  Claire asked.

“Whatever you have is fine with me, Claire. I will be back in a couple minutes.” He kissed Brinn’s head and left the room.  He tapped on Jonna’s door where Shelby was sleeping. “Shelby?”

“Justin?”  a sleepy voice responded.

Justin walked in and saw the sleep mussed woman. “Why don’t you go join Gus. I am sure you both could use a little time together.” She stretched and Justin could admire her beauty even though he was not attracted to women. She was beautiful inside and out.

She smiled softly at him, “Thanks.”  She was out of bed and wrapped a robe around herself.  She kissed Justin’s cheek. “How are you doing? Gus shared what was going on.”

Justin didn’t speak but touched her cheek. They walked out together.  They split at the stairs. Shelby went to find Gus and Justin went to face his day.

The next few days were just a blur.  Now that Gus and Shelby were here they moved back to the main house.  Shelby was thrilled to help with the twins and it was perfect timing as Peter had to go back to work.  Brian had told him that he would be spending most of his time in the NYC office for the next few weeks.  Before Gus could even see him, Brian had left for the city.

Brian’s weekend was all lined up for him when he got there on Friday.   Both Friday and Saturday evenings he was told there were activities to attend.  He brought along party wear as he was instructed. As he put on his tux, he pictured Justin next to him looking so stunning in his matching suit.  Every day his heart got heavier. He snapped out of it and took a shot, careful not to drink too much before the party. His phone rang and for some reason he answered it. “Brian, what the hell are you doing?” Gus’ infuriated voice came over the phone.

“Hi, Gus, I don’t expect you to understand.”

“How can I understand when you won’t tell me what is going on? Brinn cries herself to sleep every night and Dad has to hold her until she sleeps and then he goes to his room and he cries himself to sleep.  Peter has gone back to work and the whole office has no idea why you are spending time there. There is no reason you couldn’t be working here.”

“Son, I don’t expect you….”

“Don’t call me son.  That would imply you were my father and right now…”

“Can I tell Brinn anything?  She needs to see her Dad. She needs both of her parents.”

Brian wished he could have another drink.  He had a hitch in his voice when he said, “Next time I am in Pittsburgh I promise I will make time for her, for both of you.”

“I have no interest in spending time with you, Brian, unless you decide to be honest with me.”

Now real pain came in his voice, “Oh, Gus, I….”  Gus heard a knock on Brian’s door. “I have to go, Gus, I love you.” The line went dead. Gus wondered who was at Brian’s door.  He wondered what plans Brian had for the night while his dad could hardly finish a day anymore.

Brian put on his best face as Keegan paraded him around some of the most influential people of New York, maybe the country.  If he could be there with Justin it would have been a great even. Saturday and Sunday weren’t much different. He tried to approach Keegan a couple times over the weekend about this situation but he was not changing their agreement.  Brian Kinney and Keegan McCarty were the newest high power gay couple in NYC. And the worst part was when he would run into casual friends who would ask about Justin. He had to keep reminding himself this was for Justin, for his family.  He went to his suite and could not sleep so he drank.

Gus tried to get with Brian all week but he did not come back to Pittsburgh.  Gus was sure it was to avoid contact with family. Justin had given up even trying to call Brian. He had texted and received a couple brief responses.  At least Justin knew his phone was still on.

Shelby was wonderful with Brinn.  She gave her some extra projects she enjoyed and spent time with her.  Shelby hated watching Justin so hurt. Gus wasn’t lying about Brian being mixed up. She loved this family so much.  She hated to see them all in such pain.

Friday afternoon came around and Gus was sitting in the kitchen.  Brian had just texted Gus he was staying in New York again. Gus dropped his phone onto the counter just as John walked in with Matti.  “Where’s Brinny?” Matti asked without saying hi.

John touched Matti’s shoulder and gave him a look, “Sorry,” He said to his dad. “Hi, Gus.  Is Brinn around?”

“Hi, Matti,  my sister is in her room putting on her swimsuit.  Did you bring yours along?”

“I did!” He looked at his dad.  “May I put on my suit?”

John ruffled his son’s hair and gave him a hug.  “Sure you can. Just go in the bathroom here.” John watched him walk into the room and then turned to Gus.  “Your dad?”

“We have been here over two weeks and I still haven’t seen him.  I decided I am flying there tomorrow. If he can’t find time to come here I will make time to go there.”

John looked at him.  “Gus, I get the feeling there is more.”

Gus got out his phone and showed went to a screen. He handed it to John.  There was a headline about some party but the picture was of Brian with some man.   The man had his arm possessively on the small of Brian’s back and they were both talking to another couple. “Oh, god, Justin hasn’t seen this has he?”

“I don’t think so. I think it would kill him. I don’t know what the hell is going on but I will find out.”

“Gus,” John put his arm around Gus’ shoulders, “How would you like some company?”

“You don’t have to do that, John.  There is no reason for you to leave your family.”

“Gus, you are my family, too. I’ll get tickets for us.  I will let you know what time the flight is. Are you sure you are OK to watch Matti this afternoon?”

“Oh, he will be fine.”  Matti came out as Brinn and Shelby came down the steps in their suits.

Shelby walked by in the skimpiest of bikinis.  Gus pulled her in for a quick kiss and he then spanked her as she walked on.

“Shelby will watch the kids.  I might be a little busy watching her.”

“Have you told her yet?”

“Told her what?”

“That you are in love with her.”

“I love her but….”

“Don’t lie to yourself, Gus.  When you look at her, I can see it in your eyes. Tell her soon.  John and I weren’t much older than you are. I can’t say it was always easy but I know I would be nothing without him. We wouldn’t have Matti or Jonna.  I wouldn’t want to live that life. Can you imagine yourself with anyone other than Shelby?”

Gus hesitated for a split second and John saw it.  “Jamie?” he questioned. Gus nodded. “I guess you will have to figure that out, but, Gus, if you are thinking only of the sex, trust me, that isn’t the right way to make a choice.”

“God, John, you wouldn’t believe how willing she is for anything, and I do mean anything.  And look at that body, and she is brilliant, and she loves my family….”

“Oh, my boy,” John hugged him and kissed the top of his head, “You are in love with her.  I will text you the flight information.

“Thanks, John.”  He smiled. “I think I might have to spend some time outside.  The view is especially lovely today. But I think I will check on Dad first.  He’s been really quiet today.”

John went to say goodbye to Matteo and tell Shelby Gus would be out after checking on Justin.

Gus found Justin in what used to be Brinn’s nursery.  He expected to see him by an easel but instead he was sitting in a chair with a sketch pad in his hand.  “Dad, are you ….”

“Hey, Gus,” Justin gave him a weak smile.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Gus, you don’t have to check on me.  I just need to work through….Damn, I wish I knew what I was working through.”

‘Dad, John and I are going to go to New York tomorrow.  I am not leaving until I have seen Brian.”

“Gus, I appreciate it but you don’t have to.”

“Yes, I did.  I can’t believe he just stopped loving us.  He can barely breathe without you.” Gus glanced at Justin’s sketch pad.  It was a collage of a weeping Brinn, Gus holding onto Shelby, and one of himself where his face is nearly unrecognizable until Gus realized it was a mix of Brian and Justin’s faces.  He realized the picture showed Justin’s spirit trying to hold onto Brian’s but the pain on his face showed he was losing.

“Wow, Dad, that is really powerful and painful,” he laid his hand on Justin’s shoulder.

Justin leaned his head against Gus’ hip. “I miss him so much!” Gus dropped to his knees and put his arms around his dad as Justin wept.

That night Shelby and Gus lay in bed. “How long are you going to be gone? Kind of glad John is going with you.  I won’t have to worry about you looking for someone else.” She kissed him and slowly trailed her tongue down his torso and then her mouth came back to his. She kissed him. “Gus, I hope you can find out what is up with Brian.  I just can’t believe he is with another man. I don’t believe it. There is something behind this.”

“Ya, I looked up that Keegan McCarty guy.  He and Pops are both very powerful businessmen in their own right. Together they could really do things but Pops has never been interested in that stuff.”  Gus’ hand slid across Shelby’s stomach and then as his mouth claimed one of her nipples his fingers slid deep within her. His thumb ran over her clit as his fingers rubbed her interior walls.  He could feel her muscles begin to spasm around his fingers and Gus slid his fingers out and his erect cock sank deep into her. She cried out as he moved inside her. As he sped up he caught her cries with his mouth.  

As he began to climax she cried out again.  “I love you, Gus Kinney. I love you, Gussy.”  Soon Shelby had fallen asleep with her head on Gus’ chest.  Gus whispered, “I’m in love with you, Shelly. I will tell you soon.”

John and Gus flew into New York.  They arrived at Brian’s hotel at 2:00 p.m.  They had reserved a room and checked in. After slipping the front desk worker a $20 to let them know when Brian left for the evening. They went out and did some shopping in the area.  Gus bought a flimsy scrap of material he couldn’t wait to tear off of her, preferably with his teeth. John picked up some things for the kids and then found some of Tony’s favorite Italian shirts.  As they sat down to eat dinner they got the call from the front desk saying Mr. Kinney had just left for the evening. They also mentioned he had left with Mr. McCarty.

They took their time finishing their meal.  Next they had checked the social sites and found out where Brian would be to get an idea what time he might be home.  “So are we going to wait for him in the hotel room soon?” John asked as he and Gus strode the sidewalk.

“John, I think I need to do this alone.  I really appreciate you coming with me but I …”

“I get it, Gus.  I will be here when you’re done talking to him and if you don’t come back tonight I will know you are there talking it out with him. And if you need me, I am here for you, Gus.”  John hugged Gus, long and hard. “And if you need someone to help beat some sense into him you know where I’ll be.” They both laughed a bit.

“Now I have to go get into his room.  I hope Shelly doesn’t mind me flirting with someone to get into that room.”

Gus left to find a way in.  He walked down the hall on Brian’s floor looking for a hotel staff.  He saw a bellman entering the suite across the hall from Brian’s. Gus sized him up quickly and turned on the charm.  Five minutes later after a kiss on the cheek, Gus was in Brian’s room, sitting in the dark, waiting. He texted Shelby that he was turning his phone off until after he met with Brian.  She texted him back, ‘Love you, Gussy’.

It was nearly midnight when Gus heard Brian’s voice at the door.  “Keegan, I am going to have to go back to Pittsburgh this week. Remember, that is part of the deal and I stayed all last week.  I have to see my daughter.” It was silent and Gus pictured Brian kissing Keegan. He almost opened the door but decided to wait. He needed to approach Brian one on one, no distractions.

The door opened and Brian walked in.  He flipped the light on and turned. “Did you have a nice evening, Pops?”

Brian froze in his tracks. “Gus.” It came out in a whisper.’’

“I decided if I was ever going to get the chance to confront you face to face I would have to come here.  Why didn’t your boyfriend come in? I wasn’t sure how I was going to get rid of him…”

“Son, I…”

“So do you want to tell me about Keegan? What does he have that’s worth destroying your family. You are crushing Dad and Brinn cries for you everyday.  I am glad to hear that you plan on seeing Brinn, even though you didn’t mention the rest of us to your boyfriend.”

“Gus, I didn’t think you would see me if I did try to see you.”

“Why should I see you, Brian? Everything was almost perfect.  You and Dad had gotten closer than ever before and then overnight you shattered that.  Why, Brian? I’m not sure how much more Dad can take. He deserves answers.”

“Oh, Gus…..” Brian dropped into a chair and his head dropped into his hands. “You just won’t understand.”

“I am not a child anymore. I learned long ago you weren’t perfect if that’s what you are worried about. Who is Keegan McCarty.”

“He is someone I knew years ago.”

“Someone you loved? I didn’t think you loved anyone but Dad.”

“I didn’t love him. I went to a party with him one night.  Gus, I can’t tell you……” His voice took an angry tone, “It is none of your business what I….”

“The hell it isn’t, you asshole! You are destroying my family, our family! Tell me you don’t love Dad anymore.  Tell me you don’t care he is wasting away. Tell me you don’t care he doesn’t eat and sleep anymore.”

“Oh….” the sound that came out of Brian’s mouth was pure agony and Gus watched him break.  He then began to sob. Is body was wracked with emotional pain. Gus couldn’t take it. He moved so he was in front of Brian’s chair and dropped to his knees. Gus reached out and Brian clung to him.    “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry….”

Gus didn’t say anything.  He just held Brian until he quit shuddering, violently.  Gus gently pushed Brian backward so he could look at his face. “Pops, I am not a child anymore.  What happened? Did you run into him and for some reason have sex? There is nothing Dad wouldn’t work out with you.”

“I haven’t done anything with McCarty except what I needed to do for public appearance.”

“Pops, tell me the story.”

“I am going to need a drink for this.”  Brian walked over to the bar.

“Pops, do you really…”

Brian poured a drink for himself and one for Gus. He handed it to him, saying, “You might need one, too.”  Brian picked up the bottle and sat on the love seat. Gus sat next to him. “I was just out of college and I was out with one of my first accounts.  You know I slept around all the time back then. Well, the client was a few years older than me. I liked him. He invited me to a party and I thought, why not?   I would make contacts with people I might be able to pull in as clients and I might have some fun while I was at it.” Brian downed his drink and refilled his glass as he got up the courage to continue.  

This was the first time he was actually spelling out for Gus what some of his early life was like.  And it might be the first time he was a little uncomfortable talking about it. “I was with several men that night. One guy was into BDSM and was tied to a table. I came in his mouth and actually shot all over his face and hair.”

Gus nodded as Brian took another sip.  “Ten minutes later, my client and I were heading out the door when people started yelling and a couple minutes later EMTs rushed in.  The guy who was tied up was dead. To keep this a little shorter, his death was inconclusive and my DNA was all over him. Keegan worked in the police lab at the time. He still has a sample of my DNA.  The case is still open so he could say at any time that I killed the man or at least reopen the case. Do you know what that could do to my business, but more importantly, to the family?”

Gus had been quiet letting it sink in. “So what’s the deal?  You have to fuck him? You have to eventually move in with him, be a couple.”

“No, Keegan is setting up a new business and once he gets to his financial goal we will ‘break up’ and go our separate ways.”

“And you think Dad will just be waiting for you?”

“I am saying my family will not be scarred by going through a court case.  My business and all the employees will be safe, and I pray I can earn my way back into the family.”

The look Brian sent to Gus made his heart break.  Gus took his arms around him and held onto him. “Pops, Dad would be there for you.”

“I just couldn’t drag everyone through it with the risk of the damage it could cause. If I am lucky it will all be over in another month. But, Gus, you can’t tell your dad.  He can’t know. Sunshine would never….” Brian finished his glass and reached for the bottle.

Gus took the bottle from his dad and set it on the coffee table, “Dad it is time for you to get some sleep.” He stood up and helped Brian to his feet.  He unbuttoned his dad’s shirt and then pulled it off his shoulders. They walked over to the bed and Gus helped Brian with his pants. He tucked him in.

“Gus, can you stay?”

“Sure, Dad.  I’m not going anywhere.”

Gus texted John and assured him he was fine and would be sleeping up here.  He stripped and laid down on the bed where Brian was already snoring softly.  He felt a little better but this mess was far from straightened out.

Brian groaned as he rolled over in bed. He wanted to make sure that Gus was really there, that it hadn’t been a drunken vision. His beautiful son lay on the other side of the bed.  Brian’s heart ached at the sight of him. They still had a lot to work out today. Had he done the right thing or had he screwed it up worse?

Gus stretched and his eyes flickered open.  When he smiled at Brian, Brian flashed back to the little boy that would visit before he lived with them.  He was still just as beautiful. He moved close enough to brush the curly locks off his face.

“Oh, Gus…”

“Pops, we need to figure out a few things.”

“I know we do, son. You can’t tell your dad.  He can’t know. You need to promise me.”

“Pops, I don’t know if I can do that.  I have to tell him something. I have to ease his pain somehow.”

“Gus, I promise I will be back in Pittsburgh on Monday or Tuesday and I promise I will see your sister.  Sunshine can’t know what is really going on. Tell him you found me. Tell him I need space. Tell him I’m fine.”

“Pops, he was sure you were sick again.  I think he is waiting to hear that.”

“Well, then telling him I am fine might help some.  Gus you have to let me handle this. You have to promise!”

“Ok, but I don’t like it.  Just so you know that.”

Brian kissed him. “Thank you, Sonny Boy. I am sorry you are in this position.”

“I’m calling John and telling him to meet us for breakfast, downstairs, maybe in 30 minutes?”

“John is here?”

“Just in case I needed some support he insisted on coming along. I won’t tell him anything.”

Both men showered and were downstairs just as John arrived.  Things were still a bit awkward but they still enjoyed their breakfast before John and Justin left for the airport.  Brian kissed them both and promised Gus he would be in contact as soon as his flight was planned.

Once they had boarded their flight, John asked, “So did Uncle Brian ever tell you what he is really doing?”

“Yes, I did.  I can tell you he isn’t sick and he isn’t in love with McCarty but I can’t tell you is really going on.  I promised him.”

“Gus, can you live with that?”

“He promised to be in touch with Dad by midweek and just letting Dad know that I am sure he isn’t sick should give him some peace of mind.”

“Just know, cuz, that if it gets too hard no one would blame you for telling him.”

Gus squeezed his hand, “Thanks, John. I will make something work.  Now, do you miss Tony as much as I miss, Shelly? I can hardly wait to see her in that lingerie I bought her.  Actually, I can’t wait to see her out of them.”

“I am definitely thinking about taking Tony out of the shirts I bought him,” John’s eyes glazed over for a moment.

“Did I ever tell you about the crush I had on Tony? I mean that was years ago when I was maybe 13 or 14. It was about the time you go married. I remember trying to sneak a peek at him when he was showering but of course, Tony was very discreet and I didn’t see anything but his ass, and god, he still has a great ass.”  Gus laughed and John acted upset but then started laughing.

“I will not argue with you.  It is amazing inside and out. But of course, his soul won me over.”

“Yes, John, you did not make a mistake.  And your kids are beautiful.”

“You don’t have to convince me.  I’m a big fan.” John kissed Gus’ cheek.

“I know you didn’t ask me but I think you should hold on to Shelby.”

“You have made that clear, John, and I don’t plan on letting her go anywhere.”

The plane landed and they grabbed an Uber back to the inn.  Shelby met them there, along with Brinn. From their welcome you would have thought they had been gone weeks instead of 36 hours.  Jonna came running up to her daddy and threw her arms around his legs until he could drop the bag and swoop her up in his arms and covered her face with kisses.  The little girl giggles and then hugged him around the neck repeating daddy over and over. Matti came for a hug and when John stood up he put Jonna in one arm and put the other around Tony’s waist and pulled him in close for a kiss.

At the same time Brinn wrapped her arms around Gus’ waist.  Gus dropped to his knees so he could hug her. His little sister had lost her spark.  He didn’t dare mention Brian was going to come sometime this week in case he didn’t follow through. He kissed her.  “Gus, you went to find Dad didn’t you? Did you find him? Is he all right? Where is he? I need to see him. Daddy needs him.”  She clung to Gus’ neck.

“Oh, Brinny,” Gus kissed her forehead.  I did see our dad. He is fine. He has been really busy but he hopes to come see you very soon.”  Gus felt Shelby standing next to him and reached one hand in her direction. She took his hand and Gus slowly stood up as Brinn loosened her arms. He took one of Brinn’s hands and turned to take Shelby in his empty arm and kissed her. He brought his mouth close to her ear.  “I’ve missed you, beautiful.”

“I missed you, too.”  She kissed him once more.  “Are you ready to head back to the main house.”

Softly, Gus said, “I’m ready for a lot more than that.” To Brinn, he said, “Did you want to stay and play a while or did you want to come back to our house.  

Matti walked over to Brinn, “Can you stay and play?  Please!”

Brinn looked over at Gus.  He said, “Why don’t you stay and play with Matteo for a while. Anytime you want to come home just give us a call.”

John walked over to Gus and Brinn.  “Miss Thing, anytime you want to go home, just tell me and I will bring you home.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

“Okay, I will stay and play for awhile.” Brinn agreed.  John kissed both Gus and Shelby and led Brinn away.

Gus pulled Shelby closely to his hip and as soon as the door closed he pulled her into his arms and kissed her with such passion her knees began to buckle.  “I would take you right here if I wasn’t afraid of an audience. Let’s get home.” They both smiled and ran for the car.

When they arrived at the main house, Gus grabbed his overnight bag out of the back  and walked around. He pulled Shelby into his arms and kissed her. “Shelly, I want to rip your clothes off right now but I think I should talk to Dad before we….”

“Yes, Gussy, you need to talk to him first.  Then we can spend a couple hours in bed,” her hand glided down his jeans and she gently massages his crotch.

“Oh, god…” Gus took a deep breath. “If you don’t mind taking my bag up to our room, there is something inside for you.  You’ll find the bag. I will be there as soon as I get done with Dad.” They walked into the house and they kissed once more before separating.

Gus knocked on Justin’s door and then walked in.  Justin was not in the bedroom but the door to the adjoining room was open.  Gus walked in without Justin noticing. Justin was deep in thought as he worked. Gus noticed how stunning the painting was.  It was based on the sketch he had seen before he left. It oozed pain.

Gus cleared his throat to get Justin’s attention.  Softly he said, “Dad?”

“Oh, Gus,” Justin’s face screamed for answers.  “Did you see Brian?”

“I did, Dad.”  Gus kissed Justin on the cheek.

“And?”

“I can tell you he isn’t sick.”  Tears sprang to Justin’s eyes and Gus hugged him.  “Let’s sit down.” Justin led Gus into the bedroom and they sat down on the edge of the bed.   “Pops has….a lot going on. He’s a bit confused and needs a little space right now.”

“Gus, he talks to me about that kind of stuff.  What is it? We work together to….”

“Dad, you are just going to have to take my word for it.  Pops is planning to be back in town sometime this weekend and he will contact us about seeing Brinn.”

“What about me!  Why won’t he see me?  Is there someone else?”

“Dad, I can’t talk to you about the reasons.  I tried to talk to him but ….Dad, we have to be happy he isn’t sick and patient with him coming around.”

“Maybe I am done being patient but right now Brinn is the most important thing in the world. He better see his daughter.  Then I will deal with him. Gus, I am sure you would rather be with Shelby than with me right now.”

“Dad, if you need me….”

“Gus, you have done enough.  Thank you for tracking him down.  I need to take it from here.”

Gus hugged him and left the room.  He went to his room and knocked on the door, “Shelly, baby, are you…”

“Come in, Gussy.” Gus opened the door and walked in to find Shelby standing in the middle of the room with a see through red filmy negligee.

“Oh, my…….you take my breath away.”  Gus closed the space between them and gently took her in his arms. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck, breathing in the scent of her hair and her perfume. His hands moved under the gauze and found her nipples. He then brought his lips down on one of them through the material, sucking gently. His tongue licked the hard pebble and with the texture of the material Shelby shivered. His tongue went around and around and then switched to the other one.

Shelby’s hands got busy. Gus let go of her nipple long enough for her to pull his t shirt  off over his head. As his mouth continued its mission, Shelby’s hands began to undo his fly.  Once she was able her hands went into his jeans and then the waistband of his briefs. As mirror images their hands caressed bare ass.  They both trailed fingers down the valley between the cheeks and then both began to caress the little bud. Their pelvis’ thrust together.

Shelby started to maneuver Gus toward the bed. He scooped her up and dropped her on the bed. He landed next to her and began running his hands under the film.  He flipped it over her head and began running his mouth from one breast and then to the other. He slid the crap covering below the waist down and then his mouth claimed her clit.  She instantly cried out as his tongue flicked on it as he sucked gently. She lost all control of her body. She cried out and bucked toward his mouth.

Gus repositioned himself and entered her, making her cry out again. He moved slow and steady until he couldn’t control himself. He cried out as he filled her and collapsed on top of her.  He rolled off her, wrapping his arms around her. Gus pulled the blankets over both of them.

“Shelby, I need to tell you something.  I love you, Shelby. I’m…..”

Gus jumped when his phone rang.  Gus didn’t have to look at the screen.  He picked it up and answered it, “Jamie, is something wrong?” Shelby froze.  Her blood ran cold as she rolled away from him. She grabbed her robe and walked to the bathroom.  Could timing have been any worse? He had almost said he was in love with her, those words she had been waiting months to hear.  Instead she was standing in a shower by herself while the man she loved was talking to his first love. As tears streamed down her face, she didn’t see anything but Gus.  Could she compete with his first love?

“Jamie, where are you?”

“Hey Gus,  sorry to…… I miss you, Gus.  I was wondering if I could stop by and see you.”

“Jamie, I can’t play games.  I’ve moved….”

“Gus, I’m in town.  My dad….he died last night.  I need to see you, please.” His voice was full of emotion. Very softly he said, “I need you.”          

“Send an address and a time. Jamie, I’m sorry.”

Gus’ eyes tracked to the bathroom and he walked in.  He stepped into the steaming water and wrapped his arms around her from behind.  He kissed her neck. “Sorry for the interruption, Shelly.”

She  turned into his arms.  Her expression told him a lot.   “Oh, Shelby,” he kissed her, running his hands through her wet hair, “Jamie needs a friend.  His dad died last night.” He pulled her slick body against him. “I need to be there for him.  He was there when I needed someone. Just because I go and see him doesn’t change anything between you and I.  He’s a friend.”

“You’re a good friend, Gus.  One of the most loyal people I have ever met.  I understand but I also understand that a year ago you were in love with him.  Just don’t jerk my chain if ….”

“Oh, Shelby.” He held her tight for a couple more moments until she took a step to the door.  

“Do what you need to do, Gus.  I’ll be here.” Shelby grabbed a towel off the hook and walked out of the room.

Gus grabbed a bar of soap and as he began to rub it around his mind went from Shelby to Jamie. He had been seconds away from telling her he was in love with her and now he was so confused.                                                   

When he finished his shower he checked his phone. Jamie had sent an address for what he knew was Jamie’s childhood home and he didn’t give him a time.  He just said anytime, Baby.

Gus texted back.  ‘I will be there in 30 minutes.’

Gus found Justin in the kitchen.  “Dad, do you have a minute?”

“Dad, you have enough problems with Pops and Brinn. I just want you to know that Jamie is in town.  His dad died. He needs me.”

Justin took his chin and turned Gus’ face to him. “Gus, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“I really don’t, Dad, except a friend of mine lost his father.”

“Gus, he wasn’t just a friend and what about Shelby?  Did you tell her?”

“I did.  She told me to do what I needed to do.”

“And she’s right.  But, Gus, be careful.  Don’t let emotion carry you into something you haven’t thought about.  I don’t know where this will take you but I do know what an amazing thing you have with Shelby.  Just don’t make any decisions too casually.”

Gus hugged Justin.  “I know. I’m really confused and I haven’t even seen him yet.”

“I always have time for you, Son. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Dad, and thanks.”

Gus drove Brian’s  vintage ‘Vette the twenty minutes to the address Jamie had texted him.  As he pulled into the lane and drove toward the house. When the house came into view, Gus was taken aback at just how rich they really were.  He knew he had grown up in privilege but nothing compared to how Jamie was raised. He also remembered Jamie talking about nannies and housekeepers raising him.  Yes, Alice was around when he was young but his four parents loved him and raised him, not a host of employees.

As Gus pulled to a stop the front door opened and Jamie walked out.  Gus stepped out of the car and caught Jamie in his arms. For the first couple minutes, Jamie clung to Gus and cried. Gus just held him. He kissed his cheek and hair as he rubbed Jamie’s back. Jamie’s mouth searched out Gus’ mouth and kissed him deeply. Gus took a small step backward and Jamie took the hint.  He put his head on Gus’ shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I…”

“Jamie, I am so sorry. Was he sick?”

“He had a heart attack a week ago.  He never regained consciousness.”

“How’s the rest of your family taking it? Are you still engaged? Married?

“My mom is taking it like a woman of her standard should.  She has cried the perfect amount of time and planned the perfect service and party afterward.  Please, tell me you will be here for the service?”

“Jamie, you never answered.  Are you engaged?”

Jamie offered Gus his hand and together, they walked around the side of the house to an enclosed courtyard. They sat side by side on a bench. Gus looked over at him.   “I am officially engaged but I have no intention of marrying her now. I do feel bad for her but I am not in love with her the way a couple should love each other, the way I love you, Gus.”  Jamie took Gus’ hand.

A pretty blonde came out of the house and put her hands on Jamie’s shoulders. She bent over and kissed his head.  “This must be Gus.” The pretty young woman walked around and sat on Jamie’s knee. “I’m Candy, Jamie’s fiance.”

“Nice to meet you, Candy.”

Jamie looked at Gus with a look of fear in his eyes.  Obviously, Candy didn’t know the true depth of their relationship. After chatting for a few minutes, Candy went back to the house, suggesting Jamie bring Gus in. When Candy had entered the house again, Jamie looked at Gus and slipped his hand into Gus’ lap.  “I have missed you so much, Gus. Do you think we could slip into the pool house…”

“Jamie, we….now isn’t the time.  You need to be with your family.  Do any of your family know about us?”

“No, Dad was the only one I had told and I am sure he didn’t tell Mom details.  You are just a great friend from the band last year. But Gus, I need you.”

“Jamie, now isn’t the time.  I will go in with you if you like or I am going back home and I will come back tomorrow for the service.  I want to be here for you but it isn’t fair to Candy for us to…” Jamie pushed Gus out of sight and against a wall.  Jamie thrust his pelvis against Gus’ and pressed him tight against the wall as his hand slipped into Gus’ pants. He grasped Gus’ member tightly as he kissed him. Gus felt himself harden and his willpower weaken to Jamie’s touch.

“Jamie, please, I….oh, god….”was all he could say as Jamie’s hand moved faster and faster and Jamie’s mouth caught Gus’ cry.  

As Gus clung to him Jamie said softly, “I’ve missed you.”

After the men straightened their clothes, Jamie led Gus into the house, careful not to touch him in anyway that would give them away.  Gus was introduced as a close friend and old bandmate. He stayed by Jamie’s side for the next few hours. Candy was at his side the whole time. She looked at Jamie with love in her eyes.  Gus liked her but he knew Jamie shouldn’t marry her. Jamie was gay. He was not attracted to women and never had been but right now the most important thing was getting him through the funeral.

Shelby wandered around the main house.  That’s what everyone called it but she knew she had heard someone call it Britin at some point. It definitely was a combination of Brian and Justin.  Which meant it was part of Gus and Brinn also. Brinn had come home from John and Tony’s a little bit ago and now she was playing at the edge of the pool.  Shelby could see her clearly from where she was and Brinn wasn’t one to do anything dangerous. That young girl was brilliant and at eight would be starting high school but emotionally she was eight and her light was topsy turvy right now. Shelby would help in anyway she could.  She had gotten so wrapped up in her thoughts she didn’t hear Justin come up behind her.

Not wanting to spook her he spoke very softly. “Hey, Shelby.”

“Oh, Justin, I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.”

“No need to apologize.  Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For taking care of her when I just can’t focus. How are you doing?”

“What do I have….”

“I know where Gus is. So how are you doing?” He rested his hand on the middle of her back.

Shelby turned to look at Justin and ended up with her head on his shoulder. His arms pulled her close.

“He was in the middle of telling me he was in love with me when Jamie called.  I have been waiting for weeks to hear that and then… What if he changes his mind?  What if he chooses Jamie?”

“Oh, Shelby, you are the right person for him.  I basically told him I thought so. You have been so patient but you know how loyal Gus is and he needs to be there for his friend right now.  We both need to wait for the ones we love….”

Shelby kissed his cheek.  “And we both know they are worth waiting for.”

“I know Gus is.”

“Justin, I don’t know what is going on with Brian but we both know he is worth waiting for.  He is just very confused. I just don’t know about what.”

Justin watched Brinn play in the shallow end of the pool and then said, “I worry about her.  It is tearing her apart. She can’t sleep by herself anymore. She wakes up crying for him so then we lie there together crying. I can’t be brave for her anymore.”

Now Shelby’s arms tightened around Justin.  “We will get those Kinney men straightened out together.”  I will get Brinn to clean up for dinner. I put it in the oven a while ago.  Should be ready in half an hour.”

“I’m not hungry I….”

“Justin, you need to eat. Brinn has been picking at her food and part of that is because you aren’t eating. You need to be there for her, Justin.”

“Ok, you’re right.  I’ll get her ready for dinner and then I will sit with her and eat.  Will Gus be home?”

“I am texting him now.”  Shelby pulled out her phone and tested him.  ‘Are you going to be home for dinner?’

Gus was walking to his car when Shelby’s text came in.  He had to tell her. He would not hide anything from her. He didn’t know what was going to happen but he knew she deserved honesty.  He texted, ‘Be home in 20’.

Shelby went out front to greet Gus.  As he pulled up he had to compare this to the greeting Jamie gave him not long ago. Shelby came to the car to greet him and when he took her in his arms his heart skipped a beat. He pulled her close and just held her.  

Shelby soaked in the feel of his body. “Is Jamie alright?”

“He’s shook up like you would expect. He needs someone there just to anchor him.”  Gus’ phone rang. It was his Pops’ ringtone. “Hey, Pops. Are you in Pittsburgh?”

“Ya, I just landed.  I am hoping I might be able to see Brinn tomorrow, maybe for dinner?  Do you think you could bring her into the city around 5:00?”

“Oh, Pops, she will be thrilled but I…..Jamie’s dad died.  I have to be there for him and the funeral is tomorrow.”

“Sorry to hear that.  How are you and Shelby…..?”

“Shelby...Just a second Pops.”  Gus kissed Shelby’s hand. “Shelly, do you think you could bring Brinn to see Pops tomorrow night?”

“Sure, I can do that if you give me directions.”  Gus kissed her.

“Pops, Shelby can bring Brinn into the city if you let her know when and where to meet.”

“Great.  I will text her tomorrow after lunch and give her details.”

“Pops, I am telling Brinn she is having dinner with you tomorrow.  If you back out...I promise I will tell Dad everything.”

“Gus, I won’t hurt her.  I promise. Tell Shelby I will contact her. Oh, and Gus?”

“Ya.”

“If you need to talk about Jamie, give me a call.”

“Thanks, Pops, I think I got this. And I don’t think you need anything else on your plate.”

After saying goodbye, Gus took Shelby’s hand, “Thank you, Shelly. I know this is awkward for you.  Honestly, it is awkward for me too. His fiance is very nice.”

“So he has a girlfriend?” Shelby questioned carefully.”

“Jamie is gay.  He has a fiance because his father insisted he marry a girl.  He is very confused but he can’t marry her. Candy and Jamie deserve better than that.”

Gus looked down at Shelby and the look on her face spoke volumes.  “Oh, Shelly, I love you.”

“But you love him.”

“Yes,well, I did, I do….”

Shelby hugged him. As she brought her lips to his mouth, she said, “You’ll figure it out and when you do, I will still be here no matter what you decide.”  She kissed him and then led him toward the house. “You know a little girl that needs some happiness.”

“Gussy, where have you been!  I haven’t seen you all day.” Brinn ran up to him. “ I am so glad you are here.” She held onto him.  Justin was putting some drinks on the table while Shelby pulled the meal out of the oven.

“Brinn, I heard from our dad and he is hoping you will have dinner with him tomorrow night.”

“He wants to see me!  Really! I can see my dad?”  Brinn stopped and looked over at Justin who had stopped where he stood. She was waiting to read his reaction.

Justin nodded ever so slightly. Brinn ran over to him and hugged him.  “Oh, Thank you, Daddy. I promise I will tell him he needs to come back home.  I will tell him how much you miss him.”

“No, Sweetheart.  You have fun with your dad.  He and I will work it out ourselves but you have a great time.  I can drop you off and wait…”

“Dad, Shelby will take her.” Gus walked over and touched his dad’s cheek, “I do think you need to talk but not with an audience. He is in town.  You should make work of a visit. Don’t let him say no.”

Justin kissed his cheek and they sat down to eat.  Brinn was almost too excited to eat but she managed to and then took Justin upstairs to figure out what she could wear to see her dad.

She decided if she was pretty enough he would come home.  Justin spent the rest of the evening trying to remind her that none of this had to do with her and he was sure Brian had missed her

After Gus and Shelby cleaned up the kitchen they   went up to their room. As they started getting ready for bed Gus got a phone call.  Jamie needed to talk. Shelby heard Gus’ voice fill with compassion and when the conversation seemed to be leaning to sex, she slipped out of the room.  She went out by the pool and dangled her legs in the warm water. She leaned back on her arms and stared up at the stars. She felt him slipping away already.  Jamie was beautiful and rich and the only reason Gus wasn’t with him was because of Jamie’s father, who was no longer an obstacle. She felt the first tear slide down her temple.  If Gus didn’t want her she couldn’t make him. Better to find out now. Justin stood at the door and was sure he saw the glisten of a tear on her cheek. He was about to go check on her when Gus walked up.

“Have you seen Shelby?”

Justin nodded toward her.  “Gus, she’s hurting. She’s scared. She’s in love with you and your first love is back in town. Gus, if you plan to let her go, do it gently.”

“Dad, I,”  he turned into Justin’s arms.  “I am so confused. I know I am in love with her but I was in love with him and he seems to still have those feelings.  And I just don’t know….”

“Gus, go to her.  She’s hurting. She needs you now.  Let her know you love her. Tell her you’re confused.  She would rather hear that then not know what’s going on.”

Gus kissed his dad.  “Thanks, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Gus.”

Gus opened the door and walked out to the pool.  He dropped onto the pool deck next to Shelby, “Hey, Shelly, what’s the matter?”

Shelby dropped her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her waist. “I love you, Gus.”

“Shelby, I love you, too, and I promise, Shelly,” he turned and kissed her, “I don’t really know what I feel right now.  I will be honest with you. I will tell you if something between Jamie and I happens.”

“Thanks, Gus. You haven’t made me any promises so that is all I can expect.”

“And on the note that I want to be honest, Jamie is trying to get our relationship started again.  He caught me off guard and before I knew it his hand was down my pants and…”

“I get it, Gus.  You are still attracted to him.”

“But I have told him as long as he is engaged, I will not even consider anything with him.  That wouldn’t be fair to Candy. I would understand if you choose to move into another room or want me to.”

Shelby moved her lips toward his and he met her. After they kissed she said, “Gus, I want you as long as I can have you, whether that is two days or twenty years.”  

Gus got up and offered a hand to Shelby.  Together they went inside and headed up to their room.  

Justin had watched Gus and Shelby for a few minutes and then headed upstairs to see if Brian would talk to him.  He pressed Brian’s ID and the phone rang. Brian looked at his phone knowing it was Justin. He longed to talk to him, to hold him, and, god, he wanted to love him. He sat on the bed, dropping his head in his hands, he pictured Justin in this room.  They had spent so much time together in this bed. Brian curled up and cried. Justin didn’t bother leaving a message.

Morning came and the family went their separate ways.  Shelby took charge of Brinn. They went out to help Becca with the twins for the morning while Justin went to his studio by the inn and Gus headed to be with Jamie for the day.  

As the afternoon came, Shelby received a text from Brian.  He asked if they could meet at the loft and he gave the address. As they pulled up to the building Brinn couldn’t contain herself.  Brian buzzed them in and Brinn had tears in her eyes taking the lift up to the loft. As Shelby opened the gate Brinn ran into Brian’s open arms and if Shelby wasn’t mistaken Brian had tears too.  Shelby followed them in to get final instructions before she left them alone. She instantly liked the loft space. It was definitely a sanctuary that screamed Brian but she could see Justin’s touches, too.

Shelby saw Brian had gotten take out, knowing his little girl would just want to be with him tonight.  When Shelby returned three hours later, Brinn was in tears as she begged her dad to come home, to come back to her daddy.

As Shelby closed the elevator door, she was sure she heard Brian begin to weep on the other side of the door.  If those two men couldn’t work it out, she may have to help it along.

Gus was by Jamie and Candy’s side all day.  Jamie tried to get him alone but Gus made sure Candy was always included. Part of the time Gus watched the interaction between Jamie and his family and realized there really wasn’t any.  Candy was the only one that really cared about him. He heard the words finances and wealth thrown around after guests had gone for the day and it became obvious everyone was wondering who would get what. As the day came to a close Jamie walked Gus out to the car.  No one followed and Jamie moved out of sight of the door. Jamie pressed Gus against a wall and dropped his head on Gus’ shoulder.

“I have wanted to do this all day.  Gus I love you so much. I love your body,” his hand slipped into Gus’ pants.  

“Jamie, I told you I am not going to be the reason you hurt Candy.  If you decide that she can’t be part of your life, then we will talk.”

Jamie’s mouth trailed across Gus’ and then down his neck. Gus didn’t want to respond but his body betrayed him. As Jamie dropped  to his knees and began opening Gus’ fly, Gus had to shake it off. He took hold of Jamie’s shoulders and moved him back and then pulled him up.

“Jamie, I just can’t. God, I want to but I can’t.  Call me tomorrow if you need me to come over.” Gus kissed him and jogged to the car.

Shelby beat Gus home and  as Brinn went up to shower before bed, Shelby strategically placed her laptop on the table.  She opened it to the news story about Brian and Keegan at a party. She then went to have a glass of wine out by the pool, and hoped Justin got down there soon.  Shelby kept one eye on her phone hoping for a text from Gus while keeping an eye out for Justin. Gus said he was on his way home just as she noticed Justin in the kitchen.

Justin walked out to where Shelby was sitting.  “Is it true?”

“Justin, all I know is you deserved to see it. I wasn’t sure how to let you know. I’m sorry if I should have told you differently.”

“Thanks, Shelby.  Can you watch Brinn?”

“Gus is on his way home.  We’ll be here all night.” Justin kissed her forehead and headed toward the garage door, “Justin?”  He stopped and turned to face her. “If you need someone in the middle of the night, we’re here for you.”

“I will be home. I won’t spend the night with that cheating son of a bitch.”  Justin was gone. She heard his car pull out and go down the driveway. She hoped she had done the right thing but she wasn’t the one Justin was looking for right now.