Wild Child

Chapter 19

"Brian?" Justin asked again. He stood at the top of the stairs in his socks looking questioningly down at his former lover.

"Go back to sleep," Brian said wearily.

"I want to know what that was all about," Justin insisted. He thought he had something to do with it because of what the man had said before storming out.

"Of course you do," Brian said sarcastically. Why did every fucking person in his life think they had a right to know what was going on with him?

Justin started down the stairs. "We need to talk," he said slowly.

"I really don't want to talk. I need a shower and in about an hour, we need to get back to the hospital."

"Is it that late?" Justin asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, but I still think we need to talk." Justin stopped part way down the stairs.

"Talking is highly overrated," Brian snarled. He felt his headache throb and he felt like shit about what had just happened with Greg. That was part of the reason he never did relationships, well, almost never.

Justin frowned. "I'm sorry you still feel that way."

Brian winced, thinking about all the times that there had been a failure to communicate where he and Justin were concerned. "If you want a shower, use Gus' bathroom," Brian said tersely as he passed Justin on the stairs. "I'll use my own bathroom now that nothing's in the way."

Justin watched Brian disappear as he turned down the hallway at the top of the stairs. He shook his head. He should never have come here. He should have kept his distance from Brian. But Gus had needed him and Gus wasn't Brian. Justin felt the need to get out of the house, but he knew Gus expected him to return to the hospital. So he would.

With a sigh he climbed the stairs and went back into Gus' bedroom. A shower would feel good. He started the water and resignedly removed his clothes.

Brian stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. He felt a little better. It was good to be clean even if the water hadn't washed away his headache or Gus' concussion or Greg the asshole's departure. Everything was so fucked up when just yesterday it had all seemed so good.

Brian heaved a big sigh and sat down on the edge of his bed. It stunk of sex … and Greg Fernley. He started ripping the sheets off. He couldn't stand the smell a second longer. He fished out clean sheets and dumped the soiled ones in the hamper in the bathroom. Mrs. Hadley would take care of them for him. He'd have to remember to tell her to make sure they were thoroughly disinfected. He went back to making the bed when he heard a gentle tap at his door.

He walked to the door knowing it had to be Justin. "Yes?" he said tersely as he opened the door.

"Thought I should let you know I'm ready whenever you are," Justin said. He couldn't take his eyes off Brian's nearly naked body. The towel didn't cover a lot, except for the best parts. Justin smiled in spite of himself.

Brian raised an eyebrow. "Like what you see?"

"I always have," Justin said and immediately regretted those words.

Brian chuckled. "Thanks for that, anyway," he said.

Justin was surprised that Brian would thank him. Maybe he was more upset about the guy he just kicked out than Justin had realized. He looked over Brian's shoulder and saw the partially made bed. "Cleaning up?" he asked.

"Had to get rid of the last remnants of a big mistake."

Justin smiled. "Want some help?"

"Um … sure."

Justin entered the room looking around. Brian headed for the bed and Justin helped him arrange the clean sheets on the bed.

"Brian, can I ask why you're sleeping in here?" Justin said curious at Brian's choice of bedroom.

"I like it here."

"What about the master suite?"

"That … that's just the way you left it."

"The way … I … left it?"

"Yeah, you want to see?"

"Um … yeah," Justin said his curiosity getting the better of him.

"You know where it is," Brian said staring into Justin's eyes.

"Come with me?"

Brian was about to refuse when Justin held out his hand. Automatically Brian's hand found its way inside the extended hand and Justin led his former lover down the hall. Tentatively Justin reached for the doorknob and opened the door to the master suite. He pulled Brian inside almost afraid to look at what was in there. Brian heard the little gasp as Justin's breath caught in his throat.

"You got the bed!"

"Yeah," Brian said. "I thought we'd get to use it."

"I … remember the day we saw this in the store. I wanted it so bad but you weren't sure," Justin said unable to drag his eyes away from the bed.

"I wanted it too," Brian admitted. "But I pretended I didn't know for sure so that I could surprise you with it later."

"But I never came here again," Justin said sadly.

"No … you didn't."

"I wish I'd known."

"What difference would it have made?" Brian asked studying Justin's reaction.

"It would have made a difference," Justin stated finally looking away from the bed and into Brian's eyes.

Brian shrugged. "Notice anything else?" he asked.

Justin looked around and saw one of his paintings hanging on the wall across from the bed. "How … how did you get that?"

"I bought it," Brian said with a smirk.

"Why?"

"I liked it. I … wanted it."

"I … would have given it to you," Justin whispered.

"I didn't want you to give it to me. I wanted to buy it."

"You were trying to help me," Justin almost accused him.

"I was … to some extent, but look at what it's worth today. It was a good investment."

"You always make good investments," Justin said with a smile.

"Not always," Brian replied thinking about all the time he had invested in Greg Fernley.

"So, why don't you use this room?"

"Gus likes sitting in the bay window off the study."

"That wasn't my question."

"I … I don't like coming in here … without you," Brian admitted baring his soul.

Justin sucked in a quick breath. That was not what he had expected to hear. "Should we be getting back to the hospital?" Justin asked deciding he wasn't ready to deal with the ramifications of that answer.

"I guess so, but I better get dressed first," Brian grinned.

"If you have to," Justin laughed.

Brian looked at Justin remembering the lust that had always existed between them, even when things weren't going well. With a shake of his head he said, "Why don't you go see if you can rustle us up a sandwich or something and I'll put some clothes on?"

"Sure."

Brian disappeared into his bedroom and Justin headed downstairs. He saw the doorway to the library where Greg had been standing. He remembered it was the place where he and Brian had made love the first day they had come to Britin together. Justin couldn't resist and headed for the doorway. He stepped inside and all the old memories flooded through him. He could see the fireplace flickering and the sheet that had covered some furniture that they threw on the floor so they could fuck in comfort. Justin smiled at the memory. They had been going to get married. Everything should have been perfect but even then Justin had known that they were both giving up their fundamental beliefs and needs in order to hang on. He was pretty sure Brian knew it too, but they had pretended and that day had been … glorious.

"Memories?" Brian said from behind him and Justin jumped.

"Yeah."

"I can't come in here without remembering," Brian admitted.

"Do you sit in here often?" The room was furnished, more so than many others in the big house.

"It's the one room I actually use."

"Oh?"

"I always liked it in here."

"Do … do you ever think about that first day?"

Brian stared into Justin's eyes. "I think about it all the time," he said softly.

Justin swallowed hard. This was Brian actually saying that, actually voicing that he was human, actually admitting that he had the same feelings Justin did. The world suddenly felt very strange and uncomfortable. Justin swallowed again. "I never got to the kitchen to make us a sandwich," he said hoping that was a safe topic of conversation.

"I'm not hungry anyway. We can get something at the hospital if we need it."

"Okay," Justin replied.

"Shall we go?"

"Yes, we shall," Justin said looking at Brian warily like he hardly knew this man that he had lived with for four years … well, off and on for four years.

"I think I better take my car and you can take yours, so you can get back to the gallery in time."

"But the Corvette's wrecked."

"I have another car," Brian laughed.

"Oh."

"Let's go."

Justin got into his car and watched as Brian pulled up in a black Mercedes. He waved at Justin who followed him as he started down the drive. Brian was driving a Mercedes. Did that mean he had grown up? Yet he had still kept the Corvette until Gus had driven it into the tree. Justin wasn't at all sure what to make of this new and different Brian Kinney. He felt slightly disoriented about the whole thing.

Brian glanced in the rearview mirror, watching that Justin was following him back to the hospital. With a frown Brian thought about their encounter in his bedroom, and then in the master suite and finally in the library. Something had been going on between them, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. They both knew that anything they had shared in the past was long over, and yet … there had been something. Brian had enjoyed the feeling of his hand in Justin's. It had been almost like … before.

They were both quiet as they made their way up to Gus' room in the hospital. Mrs. Hadley was sitting with Gus and he was still awake, looking only a little the worse for wear.

"How are you doing, Sonny Boy?" Brian asked kissing Gus on the top of the head.

"A little better," Gus replied. "Hi, Justin."

"Hi, Gus. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Me too."

"Are you ready for your MRI?" Brian asked.

"The nurse said I have to stay really still and lie inside this tube thing. Do you think it will be scary?" Gus asked with a quaver in his voice.

"I think you should close your eyes and think about floating in the pool at the house, and it'll be over before you know it," Brian said gently.

"I guess I could do that."

"I know you can."

Justin listened to Brian's suggestion and marveled at this man who thought he was a bad father. That was excellent advice and done in such a way that Gus' fears were addressed, but Gus was given a way to deal with them. Justin shook his head, not so much in amazement, but rather at the fact that he had forgotten how great a person Brian could be.

"Gus," Justin said gently, "I'm glad we got to spend some time together. I wish I could stay with you till the MRI was over, but I have to get back to Pittsburgh."

"That's okay, Justin. Thanks for coming, and please come visit me after I get home."

Justin glanced at Brian. He didn't know whether that would be such a good idea.

"You're welcome anytime," Brian said.

"Okay, Gus, I'll be in touch, and Mrs. Hadley has my number if you need it." Justin smiled over at Mrs. Hadley who blushed. "I guess I'll take off. Let me know about the results of the MRI."

"Bye, Justin," they all said as Justin left the room.

While Gus was in the MRI, Brian sat in the waiting room until the procedure was completed. He hoped Gus would be all right. Mrs. Hadley had gone home to lie down for a bit and make them both some supper. She didn't trust the hospital food.

As a result, Brian had plenty of time to think about Justin and what had transpired between them today. It had been so easy to talk to him, and be around him. Brian had expected it to be awkward, but there had been none of that.

And then there was the whole Greg Fernley fiasco. At least the man was gone from his life once and for all. Brian didn't know how he could have been so stupid. Gus had tried to talk to him about Greg, but Brian had been so intent on having a relationship with the man that he had been blind to Greg's faults. It was only in comparison to Justin that's Greg's true nature shone through. Justin was kind and compassionate and willing to go out of his way to help Gus. It hadn't mattered to Justin that he had to come to a hospital or that it might have been awkward to be around Brian. Gus had needed him and so he came. That was the way Justin was.

Greg, on the other hand, showed his true selfishness. He didn't seem to care that Gus was hurt. He was only interested in himself. He refused to come to the hospital for whatever flimsy reason. His fear of hospitals couldn't have been half as bad as Justin's, and yet Justin had come. Greg had lain in bed all day without so much as a phone call to see how Gus was doing or if Brian needed anything. Brian hated having to throw Greg out, but there had been no other way. He couldn't stand the sight of the man for another minute.

When Brian had walked out of the house with Justin, he had half expected to see Greg waiting outside. The man was tenacious. But so was Justin, only in a very different way. Brian smiled. It had been strange spending time with Justin. In some ways it was just like it had always been, and in other ways, it was so different.

Brian jumped when the technician brought Gus out from the MRI. He had been totally lost in his thoughts.

"How did it go?" Brian asked.

"He was a trooper," the technician said.

"I enjoyed swimming in the pool," Gus grinned. "I just kept my eyes closed and stayed in the pool."

"Good boy!"

"The orderly will be right along to take Gus back to his room," the technician said before he took the next patient inside for their MRI.

"Guess you get to ride the old bucking wheelchair once again," Brian joked as Gus sat down to wait for the orderly.

"You make it sound like a horse," Gus chuckled.

"When you were really out of it after the accident, you called me Cowboy Chicken," Brian said thoughtfully.

"I did?"

"You remember when we used to play that?" Brian asked.

"I remember," Gus smiled. "You used to let me ride on your back and we'd go chasing Indians and bad guys."

"Yeah," Brian smiled at the memory.

"And then I'd get off and we'd have a quick draw contest with our fingers. You always let me win."

"You must have shot me a hundred times," Brian chuckled.

"Except for all the other times when you'd dive behind the couch and I'd call you Cowboy Chicken."

"Yeah."

"Dad, do you think it would have been different if I could have stayed with you instead of going to Canada with the Moms?"

"I'm sure it would have been," Brian admitted. "But who's to say it would have been better? I wasn't ready to be a full time father back then."

"Are you now?" Gus asked waiting to hear how Brian would answer that.

"Based on yesterday and today, I don't think so." Brian watched Gus' face fall. "But up until yesterday, I thought we were doing pretty well."

"So did I," Gus said softly.

"Then why did you try to get to Justin?"

"I … I needed you to see what HE was really like."

"He, meaning Greg," Brian said knowing that was exactly what Gus meant.

"Yeah."

"He's gone."

"Gone? What do you mean?"

"I kicked him out this morning."

"You did?" Gus tried to keep the smile from being too blatant.

"I did," Brian replied as the orderly started pushing Gus towards the elevator.

"Thank you, Dad," Gus said softly.

"Gus, I'm sorry I didn't realize how much Greg troubled you. Next time, if you need to, write me a letter telling me what is bothering you, and I promise I will pay more attention … even if I don't like it."

"You mean that?"

"I do."

"Um … Dad, how did you and Justin get along?"

"What are you getting at?"

"I really like Justin," Gus said trying to keep his voice innocent.

"I like Justin too," Brian admitted.

"Will you see him again?"

"Me? No, he came here to see you, not me."

"I know but I hoped…" Gus did not finish that statement.

"Let's get you well and home and we'll worry about all that other stuff later," Brian said hoping Gus would drop the topic and ultimately forget all about it.

"Okay," Gus said deciding he shouldn't press the issue any farther. "Do you think they'll let me go home tomorrow?"

"It will depend on what the MRI shows."

"Then it better show the right thing," Gus declared.

Brian smiled. His son liked hospitals almost as much as he did. That was another thing they had in common. Brian placed his hand on Gus' shoulder as the orderly wheeled his son into his room.