Wild Child

Chapter 25

Brian pulled up in front of the house in a very nice residential section of Pittsburgh. The house was not a whole lot different than the one Justin had lived in as a boy with his parents. A fleeting thought crossed Brian's mind that maybe Jennifer and Craig were back together, but then he realized that was a ludicrous idea. Jennifer had obviously done well for herself in the real estate business.

Brian opened the door of his Mercedes and stood up. He almost wished he had the Corvette in one piece and could pull up in that. Jennifer would have a fit thinking that big, bad Brian Kinney was coming to pick up her baby boy once again. Only the Corvette was demolished and Justin wasn't a baby anymore and Brian didn't want to be thought of as big, bad Brian Kinney. He was trying to make a different impression this time.

He walked over to the front door and rang the bell. He waited, wondering what was making the pounding sound he could hear. He realized that it was his heart thudding in his ears. He swallowed hard trying to get some saliva into his mouth.

The door opened.

"Jennifer," Brian managed to get out.

"Brian, it's been a long time."

Brian nodded. "Is Justin ready?"

"Come in; he's still preening."

Brian smiled. That's what he had been doing earlier under the close scrutiny of Gus and Lindsay. You would have thought they were going on this date with him. Maybe they had as much riding on it as he did. Brian stepped inside and Jennifer closed the door indicating that he should go into the living room.

"Would you care for a drink?" Jennifer asked.

"Um … no, thanks," Brian said. As much as he would have liked a good stiff one he didn't think that would be a good idea.

"How have you been?" Jennifer asked sitting in a chair across from him.

"I'm fine. You?"

"Good."

"How's Molly?"

"She'll finish university this year."

"They grow up so fast," Brian said with a faraway look in his eye.

Jennifer frowned. She wasn't sure what that meant. "How's Gus? I understand he had a concussion."

"He's doing better. I think he'll be able to start school on time."

"That's good news."

"Brian?" Justin's voice said from the doorway.

Brian looked up to see Justin standing there in dress pants and a caramel colored cashmere sweater. He looked good enough to lick, just like the toffees that were the same color as that sweater. Brian cleared his throat. "You look great," he said unable to take his eyes off Justin.

"Thanks, so do you," Justin grinned. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, we shall," Brian said standing and making his way over to Justin. His knees suddenly felt altogether too wobbly.

"Will you be late?" Jennifer asked.

"Probably not, but I have the key you gave me," Justin replied as they made their way to the door.

"It was nice to see you again, Brian," she called.

Justin closed the door behind them before Brian could reply. "That was rude," Brian said.

"I didn't want you to have to lie," Justin said.

"When have you known me to lie?"

Justin gave him a look that clearly said, 'What the hell were we talking about yesterday?'

"I always liked your mother," Brian said aloud.

"Liar."

"Well, I grew to like her."

"Uh huh."

"I did. Why do you think I got her to help me find the building for Kinnetik?"

"I thought you were trying to help the poor Taylor family who had fallen upon hard times."

"That too," Brian laughed. "But how many other real estate agents do you think would have shown me the old baths as a place for a new business. Your mother has balls."

Justin laughed as Brian pulled the door of the Mercedes open for him. Justin slid in wondering at the amazing fact that he was actually on a date with Brian Kinney after all these years. "My mother would be thrilled to hear that."

"I'm sure she already knows," Brian said as he got behind the steering wheel.

"So where are we going?" Justin asked.

"It's a surprise."

"Ooh, I love surprises," Justin giggled.

"I hope you love this one," Brian said suddenly wondering if he was doing the right thing by taking Justin to this place.

Justin sat in silence as Brian drove along. He did wonder where they were going. He hoped it wasn't the diner. Not because he didn't like the diner, but this was a date, for fuck's sake. Brian was dressed too nicely to be taking him to the diner, Justin decided and he breathed a sigh of relief.

After some time they pulled up in front of an old mansion. "What is this place?" Justin asked.

"It's called Julie's."

Brian got out of the car and handed his keys to the valet. He met Justin on the other side of the car. With that little protective gesture that Justin used to like, Brian put his hand in the small of Justin's back and they walked up to the front door.

Brian opened the door and allowed Justin to step inside the foyer. There was a lectern standing imposingly in front of them. A man in a beautiful tux hurried up to greet them.

"Ah, Mr. Kinney, good to see you again."

"Thanks, Julie. Is my table ready?"

"Of course."

The man ushered them through a couple of lovely rooms where people sat eating or having a drink or talking quietly. The whole place exuded privacy and class. They arrived in a small room with two tables. Julie laid their menus on one table and said he would send the wine steward right over. Brian and Justin sat down.

"This is quite the place," Justin said looking around. "Do you come here often?"

Brian raised a brow at the implication that he brought dates there all the time. "Rarely for dinner, but I do bring clients here for lunch occasionally. They have excellent food."

"That's good to know," Justin said rather enigmatically.

Brian sucked in a breath thinking that this wasn't going quite the way he had thought it would. The wine steward rescued him by asking if they had made a choice. Brian selected a red wine that he liked, asking Justin if that was all right with him. Justin agreed and they started looking at the menu.

"Everything sounds delicious," Justin said. "Can you recommend something?"

"Let's wait for the specials. Often they are the best thing going."

"Okay," Justin said closing his menu.

The waiter appeared with their wine and poured them each a glass. He read the specials with Brian choosing the fish and Justin the veal.

When the waiter departed, Justin raised his glass. "To our first date," he said trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

Brian clinked his glass to Justin's and sipped the wine. "It's hard to believe that twelve years after we met, we're going on our first date."

Justin laughed. "It's almost thirteen," he reminded Brian. "Gus' birthday is coming up soon."

"That's right," Brian said. "Such a long time. I wonder why we never did this before."

"I guess when you fall into bed without even being introduced, that doesn't exactly lead to dating."

Brian chuckled. "Yeah, we spent a lot of time in bed. That seemed to be where we functioned best."

"Hm," Justin said. "Maybe that's why we broke up so many times. We never really learned to communicate."

"You mean I never learned to communicate."

"No, I mean both of us. You chose not to communicate and I was too scared that you'd kick me out to push you to say what you meant."

"That's interesting," Brian said with a frown.

"How so? Surely you've thought about that … or maybe you haven't," Justin added not wanting to make faulty assumptions. Maybe Brian never thought about them at all.

"I've thought about what happened between us, but not in those terms."

"And just how did you see it?"

"I saw someone too young for what he was getting into." Justin glowered at him. "And I saw someone too … damaged and too scared to know what the hell he was doing or what he really wanted."

"Are you talking about me after the bashing?" Justin asked as he felt his anger rise. He was not going to allow Brian to blame this totally on him.

"No," Brian said slowly. "I was describing the other half of the equation … me."

"You admit that?"

"I do. It's taken me a long time to realize how fucking scared I really was. I kept telling myself that I was doing the noble thing, that no one could love me, that it was right to let you go."

"I … loved you," Justin said.

"I … think I know that … now, but it took me many years to come to that realization, to believe that you really could love me."

"I never thought you were slow on the uptake," Justin said with a little grin.

Brian smiled at him getting the gentle barb. "About this I was totally clueless. That's why I told you that we didn't waste all those years we were apart. I think we both had to grow and learn. I know that I certainly have."

Justin stared into Brian's eyes assessing what the man was telling him. It certainly seemed to be true. Brian had changed, and seemingly for the better.

"What about that guy who was at Britin with you?"

"Greg?"

"If that was his name."

"It was. He … he was a big mistake. But the sex was great and I tried to convince myself that everything else was great too. It was so much like…" Brian hesitated.

"So much like what?"

"Like the night I met you," Brian admitted wondering if he should say this. "We met and went to bed and it was great. I don't think there has been anyone who has come close to what we had sexually … until Greg."

"Thanks," Justin said with a scowl. "I'm sure I love being compared to that ass."

"He doesn't have your ass at all," Brian smirked. When Justin didn't laugh Brian quickly continued. "He came close, but there was no cigar," Brian amended. Justin had to smile slightly at the implied compliment. "And as far as his personality went, well, you saw what a fucking disaster he was, selfish and mean."

"So why did you keep him around?" Justin asked out of curiosity.

"I refused to see what he was really like," Brian said thoughtfully. "I finally understood when he wouldn't come to the hospital when Gus had the concussion. He told Mrs. Hadley that he was afraid of hospitals. And then there was you. You have the most reason of anyone I know to hate hospitals, and yet you came right away … without even a comment about it."

"Gus needed me."

"I know, and you were there for him."

Justin shrugged. "I guess."

"I really appreciate what you did that night, Justin."

Justin looked up from his wine glass that he had been twirling and met Brian's eyes. He could see that what he had done by going to the hospital that night had really affected Brian. "It was the least I could do … for Gus," he said simply.

Brian wondered if he had been the one in the hospital if Justin would have come so quickly. He wanted to ask, but he was afraid of the answer.

The waiter brought their salads and they ate in silence for a while. Finally Justin looked over at Brian and asked, "Why did you invite me on this date?"

"I thought you'd at least eat your main course before you asked that," Brian laughed although he didn't feel much like laughing. He wasn't sure how to answer that question. "I don't know."

"Sure you do. Tell me."

Brian sighed and pushed his salad plate away. "I was feeling fucking sorry for myself after you disappeared this morning. Gus was pissed at me. He thought I drove you away."

"Wonder where he would get that idea," Justin said ruefully.

"I didn't drive you away, did I?" Brian asked with a frown.

"Not exactly, but as I told you, what happened between us scared me."

"Seems like we have too much fucking fear about this relationship," Brian grimaced as the waiter took away the salad plates.

"That's it exactly. We've seen what happens when we're together. We end up hurting each other, and I don't want to do that anymore."

"Then let me ask you why you're here."

"You asked," Justin grinned. "How could I turn down a date with Brian Kinney?"

Brian smiled. "What happened to all that fear you were talking about a minute ago?"

"I felt bad about running out on you this morning so I thought I'd give you another chance."

"Do we have a chance?" Brian asked staring at Justin.

"Do you want us to have one?" Justin asked staring right back.

"Yes."

"Just like that. Yes?"

"I finally know what I want," Brian admitted.

"And that's me?"

"Yes."

Justin's eyes were large as he listened to Brian's pronouncement. He had never heard Brian talk this way, so definite, so sure. "I can't believe you're saying that after all this time."

The waiter set down their main courses in front of them. They again ate in silence for a while. Both seemed lost in thought about the words that had just been spoken. Brian drank a couple of glasses of wine and Justin had one more. Brian was about to order a second bottle when Justin put his hand on Brian's arm. "Don't get drunk, Brian. I'm really glad we're doing this."

Brian had to smile. "I wasn't about to get drunk," he replied. "I want a clear head while I'm with you."

Justin had to smile back at that. "Good."

They finished their meals and the waiter asked if they would like dessert and coffee. Brian promptly answered, "No."

When the waiter had left, Justin looked at Brian. "You might have asked if I wanted dessert," he said in an accusatory voice.

Brian smiled. This was the new Justin, the one who said what he thought and didn't take shit from anyone, including Brian. "I have that all taken care of."

"What does that mean?"

"Trust me," Brian said, hoping that Justin might even get the bigger meaning in that statement.

"We'll see," Justin said warily.

This was also the new Justin, the one who no longer blindly trusted Brian, who could think and act on his own, and wanted what he wanted without explanation or apology.

The waiter brought their bill and Brian signed the credit card receipt. They got up to leave. As they walked out, Justin looked at all the other couples finishing up their dinners at the restaurant. They were mostly hetero but a few same sex couples. It all looked so normal, just like Brian and Justin had probably looked a few minutes before. Justin frowned not knowing what to think.

They got in the car and Brian drove them down by the river. He pulled into a parking lot and they got out, walking along the esplanade beside the river. The night was beautiful with a little breeze blowing off the water and the first hint of the coming autumn in the air. They watched the river with the moon reflected in it.

After a little walk they came to a vendor selling drinks and ice cream. Brian looked at Justin and with that quirky grin he had he asked, "Dessert?"

Justin chuckled. "I know I'm a cheap date, but…"

"I thought it would be more … romantic out here."

"It is," Justin said.

Brian bought them each an ice cream bar and they walked along a little farther. As they finished their desserts, Justin saw an empty bench and went to sit down. Brian dumped the wrappers from their bars in a trash can and joined Justin.

"It's a beautiful night," Brian said.

"When did you start noticing things like that?"

"Since I moved to the country."

"Have you really been living at Britin?" Justin asked.

"On and off, but now it's on, since Gus is here."

"What happened to the loft?" Justin asked remembering all that had happened to them there.

"I still have it."

"For when you need a fuck pad?"

"Yeah," Brian admitted.

"So your libido is as great as ever."

Brian wasn't sure how to take that. "Didn't I prove that to you last night?" he finally said.

"Brian, I can see that you have changed in so many ways, and … I'm happy that you have."

"But…" Brian said hearing that dreaded word even though Justin had stopped short of using it.

"But, I haven't," Justin said wearily.

"Yes, you have."

"What do you mean?" Justin asked with a frown.

"I see so many changes in you," Brian said softly. "You're confident. You know what you want … and what you don't want. When you said I should have asked you about dessert at the restaurant that was proof that you no longer are content to let me make all the decisions for you."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I think it's great."

"You do?"

"Yes, I think you've reached the point in your life where you should make your own decisions."

"And what if they don't agree with yours?"

Brian shrugged. "That remains to be seen."

"So, if I tell you that I'm going back to Europe next week, you'll be fine with that?"

"I didn't say that," Brian added hastily. "I don't want you to go and I'm going to do everything I can to make you change your mind on that one."

"You are?" Justin smiled.

"Yep, that's one of the things I was hoping to accomplish tonight. Have I succeeded?"

Justin grinned. "It doesn't happen just like that."

"That's what Lindsay told me."

"She did?"

"She said you'd probably kick me to the curb, to quote her."

Justin laughed. "A very wise woman."

"I hope not," Brian said staring into Justin's eyes. "You're not leaving right away, are you?"

"No, not yet."

"Then maybe I have time to persuade you to stay."

"You'd really try to do that?"

Brian nodded. "You see, Mr. Taylor, you're not the only one who knows what he wants."

Brian stood and took Justin's hand. He pulled Justin up from the bench so that their bodies came very close together. Justin was sure Brian was going to kiss him, but all he did was stare into Justin's eyes. After a minute they began walking back to the car.

Brian drove them back to Jennifer's. He stopped in the driveway and turned to look at Justin. "I hope the date met with your approval," he whispered.

"Very much so," Justin smiled.

Brian grinned and leaned in for a long and rather chaste kiss. Justin expected Brian to ravish his mouth and try to get him to come back to Britin. None of that happened. When Brian broke the kiss, he asked, "Will you be around tomorrow? We could have another date."

"That might be arranged," Justin said carefully. "Call me in the morning."

"Count on it."

Justin flashed a sunshine smile and opened the door. Brian watched him disappear into the house. Maybe this dating thing wasn't so bad.