The Patients:

Brian believes he is Oscar Wilde. He also believes Justin to be his 17 year old lover Robert Ross (who is believed to be Wilde's first male lover).

Justin believes he is Michelangelo and that Brian is his model for ‘David'. The hospital provides him with clay as part of his therapy, so he ends up making a life size statue of a naked Brian as well as various knick-knacks of Brian's anatomy.

Michael believes he is Astro Lad and that Ben (or any man he becomes attracted to for a brief time) is Captain Astro. He also believes that Nurse Debbie is his mother, but she isn't.

Ben believes he is Jack Kerouac or Hunter S. Thompson (depending on the day and his mood) and is writing his next book... on any surface he can find once he gets his hands on something to write with.

Ted believes he is Pavarotti. He speaks with an Italian accent and sings opera all the time.

Blake believes he is Giuseppe Verdi and is composing his newest opera with the hope that Ted will sing it.

Emmett goes through phases where he believes he is Lana Turner, Judy Garland, Scarlet O'Hara and even a very gay Rhett Butler.

Drew believes he is the strongest man on Earth and tries to impress Emmett by lifting anyone and anything as often as he can. They constantly have to tell him to put Emmett down.

Melanie believes she is Florence Allen, the first woman to be elected to the position of common pleas judge in 1920 (she heard almost 900 cases) and the first female state appellate judge through her election to the Ohio Supreme Court in 1922 and who later became the first female federal appellate judge, appointed to the 6th Circuit in 1934 by President Franklin D. Roosevelt. Melanie is always quoting law and reciting cases that she heard as a judge.

Lindsay believes she is Snow White and refers to the others using the names from the story: Brian is the Prince (because he's so handsome), Justin is Bashful (because he always shies away from her), Michael is Dopey (because all he talks about is a comic book superhero), Ben is Doc (because he seems to be very smart), Ted is Sneezy (because she saw him sneeze once), Blake is Sleepy (because he never acknowledges her beauty, so he must be asleep not to notice), Emmett is Happy (because he seems to always be smiling), Drew is Grumpy (because he's always grouchy that he's not allowed to bench press the other patients, especially Emmett), and Melanie is the Queen/Witch (because she's always issuing orders according to law).

Nursing staff:

Debbie Grassi

Daphne Chanders

Kiki/Kevin Foray

Psychiatrists/Psychologists/Therapists:

Alex Wilder

Vic Grassi

Rodney Atwell

Nobody has HIV/AIDS.