The First Fifty

Chapter 9

41 – 45

It was late at Edna’s Treasures. Patrick and Bree had long since been put to bed. Gus had been in his room on the phone with Ray for what seemed like hours. It was cold and blustery outside. Brian and Justin were sitting on the sofa in their living room in front of a roaring fire just relaxing and listening to some jazz.

“It’s been a good Christmas,” Justin observed.

“Yeah,” Brian agreed succinctly.

Justin leaned against his husband and looked into his eyes. A little smirk crept onto his face. “You know, for a man who makes his living with words, you have so little to say sometimes.”

“What’s the point of using twelve words when one will suffice?”

Unable to argue with that logic, Justin merely kissed his husband. Things were getting a little heated when someone cleared their throat.

“Get a room, you two,” Gus teased.

“I thought you would be basking in the afterglow of phone sex,” Brian snarked as he and Justin shifted unwillingly and moved a bit farther apart.

“I was,” Gus said with a chuckle, “but I’m thirsty.”

“Good sex will do that to you,” Brian observed.

“You would know,” Gus added with a wink.

“Hot chocolate?” Justin asked before either Brian or Gus could continue their battle of words.

“Yes, please,” Gus replied immediately. “I can make some.”

Justin stood up. “You and your dad can talk. I’ll make it.”

Gus nodded and sat down in the armchair. He picked up Joan’s album that had been out on a table during the whole holiday period.

“Aren’t you sick of family crap?” Brian asked. Even though he hadn’t really enjoyed these talks with Gus, they hadn’t been as bad as he had suspected they would be. In some strange way it had been cathartic for Brian to talk about some of the less pleasant aspects of his childhood and of his later life. He had to admit that Gus was very non-judgmental and that made it much easier. Somehow, out of his screwed up upbringing, Brian felt he had done a good job with his son. Gus was a wonderful young man.

“Family crap, as you so cheerfully call it, is what I call family history. I like learning about it.” 

Brian merely nodded as Gus flipped open the album. It fell open near the back where Gus had got to so far in his investigation of all things Kinney. Gus flipped over a couple of pages that he had already looked at. Brian noted that the album was fast drawing to a end, kind of like Joan’s life had, and his own life would eventually.

“Pop?” Gus said.

“Hm, yeah?”

“Where were you just then?”

Brian hesitated for a moment. “I was thinking about your grandmother,” he admitted.

“I miss her.”

“Me too.”

Gus looked at the picture on the page to which the album was now opened. “I haven’t seen this picture before,” Gus said as he stared at it.

Brian leaned over and looked. A little smile curled the corners of his mouth, as Justin came from the kitchen carrying a tray with mugs of hot chocolate. He looked at the picture as he set the tray down.

“That was the day we brought Bree home from the hospital,” Justin informed Gus.

“Pop, you look...”

“Happy,” Brian supplied with a smirk. 

“Terrified.”

“He was,” Justin said with a laugh. Brian glared at him. “We both were, but at least I had done some babysitting as a teenager, and we had helped a bit with Patrick.”

“What was it like, Pop?” Gus asked. “I sometimes think about what it would be like if Ray and I had a baby.”

“He’s not pregnant, is he?” Brian asked in mock horror.

“Poppppp!” Gus said.

“Brian, behave,” Justin chastised.

Brian sucked in his lips and looked at his son. “Gus,” he said after a minute, “does it bother you that we have a plethora of pictures of Bree at all stages of her life, and not so many of you as a child?” This had been a nagging thought for him all through the family discussions with his son. He needed to know that Gus was all right with it.

Gus thought about that for a second or two. “Pop, I know you left things to my mothers. You weren’t ready to be a fulltime father back then.” Brian nodded. “But I’m happy you got to experience that with Bree.” Brian smiled at his very smart son. “So, tell me about bringing Bree home.”

*****

“Are you ready?” Brian asked as Justin finished strapping Bree into her car seat.

“Yeah, I’m going to sit in the back with her.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Drive carefully,” Justin cautioned.

“I always do,” Brian averred.

“Yeah, sure,” Justin said sliding into the backseat of the Jeep beside his daughter. He had ridden with Brian in all sorts of circumstances, many of which could hardly be classified as safe.

Brian pulled out of the hospital parking lot. He headed for home. There was a long silence in the car. Justin was constantly adjusting the blanket around his sleeping daughter. 

Finally, Justin said, “Do you think we can do this?”

“Isn’t it a little late to have doubts?” Brian asked pointedly.

Justin made a face, and Brian thought he could see tears well up as he looked at Justin in the rearview mirror.

“Sunshine,” Brian said gently. “We can do this. We have Debbie and your mother who can help us, and John and Bobby.”

“I know, but…”

“It’s okay to be worried. I’m … terrified.”

Justin couldn’t help but smile. He knew how hard that was for Brian to admit. “I suppose we could always ask Lindsay and Melanie for help,” Justin said wickedly as the thought struck him.

“That’ll be the day when I ask Melanie Marcus for help with our daughter!”

Justin smiled then. “I like it when you call her our daughter.”

“Well, she is, isn’t she?” Brian asked looking into Justin’s eyes in the rearview mirror.

“One hundred percent!”

“Do you think she’ll like her room?” Brian asked out of nowhere.

“She’s two days old. She won’t know where she is.”

“Our daughter will know everything,” Brian averred.

“Then she’ll love her chamber of pink froth and lace.”

“Do you think it’s too pink?” Brian asked with a frown.

“I think it’s perfect. She’ll develop her taste from us, you know. If we like it, she’ll like it.”

“Then maybe I can get her to appreciate Prada and Zegna.”

“Undoubtedly,” Justin agreed.

“Is she still breathing?”

“She’s sleeping, Brian. Just be thankful that she’s sleeping. When she cries, our job really begins.”

“Perhaps a little shot of Beam,” Brian suggested.

“You are so bad.”

“I’m just saying…”

“Drive, and concentrate on the road,” Justin commanded. “I want to get home in one piece.” 

“Yes, master,” Brian replied contritely.

It wasn’t long until they arrived at Edna’s Treasures. John and Bobby met them in the driveway, cooing over the baby, and snapping pictures all the way into the house. They didn't realize that they were documenting the next phase in the saga of Brian and Justin.

*****

“You’ve got a funny look on your face.”

“What look is that, Sunshine?”

“I’m not sure. Like you’re remembering something but I can’t tell if it’s a good memory or a sad one,” Justin said as he sat next to his spouse. The album was resting on the kitchen table as Brian waiting for the coffeemaker to do its thing. Justin put the kettle on for tea.

“Both,” Brian sighed then momentarily changed the subject. “Is everything ready for tonight?” Brian asked referring to their little New Year’s get together with the folks on the lane.

“Yes, the larders have been inventoried. The provisions have been procured and the preparation is in progress,” Justin teased. Brian chuckled. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Just remembering all that happened when Bree was little,” Brian said softly.

“Like what?”

“So many things, too many things.”

“Name a few.” Justin got up to tend to the whistling tea kettle and fix Brian a mug of coffee.

“Well, for one thing we got the Jason Kemp Center up and running,” Brian said as he waited for his coffee to cool down a little.

“What else?” Justin urged.

“Lacy became a member of our family,” Brian said with a smirk.

“She did have an impact on us,” Justin giggled.

“What’s so funny?” Gus asked as he walked into the kitchen in search of a snack.

“Just recalling when Lacy became a part of our family, Sonny Boy,” Brian snarked. 

Gus groaned. “I had a big crush on her, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but don’t feel bad,” Brian said with a pat to Gus’ back. “If I recall, she had a crush on Justin. It seems we have an interesting way with lesbians and women in general,” Brian teased. Justin nearly snorted tea through his nose.

“And I recall one woman in particular had a crush on you, Bri,” Justin laughed.

“Who had a crush on you, Pop?”

“She didn’t have a crush on me; we had an understanding,” Brian said smugly.

“Who?” Gus demanded to know.

“Edna!” Brian and Justin said.

“I wish I remembered her,” Gus said wistfully.

“You were only six when she came here for John and Bobby’s wedding. I still miss her,” Brian murmured. Justin kissed the side of his head.

“We all miss her,” Justin said with a nod. “If she were alive, I bet she would have come to Bree’s christening.”

“And she’d drink us under the table,” Brian added with a snort. “Edna was one hell of a woman!” Brian raised his coffee mug in salute.

“You know we’re overlooking one very important event that happened when we were having fun with lesbians back then,” Justin laughed as he remembered their time in Florida. He gave Brian a look then glanced at Gus.

“Ah yes,” Brian agreed.

“You mind letting me in on the secret,” Gus said with a glare.

“We met our future in-laws in Florida,” Brian snarked as he casually took another sip of coffee.

It took a second but Gus finally put the pieces together.

“Oh ha ha, but yeah, I guess that was an important time,” Gus said then became serious. “Dad, Jus, I’m really happy and grateful that you became friends with Simon and Ken.”

“I bet you are,” Brian smirked.

“Well, duh, but that’s not the only reason. I really like them. It’s nice to meet another same sex couple.”

“We know a lot of same sex couples,” Justin said not understanding what Gus was getting at.

“Yes, but they’re different.”

“How?” Brian asked, truly interested in what his son meant.

“When I was little, the moms sort of surrounded themselves with other lesbian couples. And well, the moms didn’t always…” Gus looked away for a moment.

“The moms didn’t always get along,” Justin carefully supplied. 

Gus nodded. “Simon and Ken are different, they really love each other and don’t argue,” Gus said sadly.

“Gus, all couples argue,” Justin said with a shrug. He looked at Brian for help. He really didn’t know what to say to comfort Gus.

“But not like the moms,” Gus whispered. “Sometimes I thought they’d be able to fix it, ya know?” Gus asked as he gazed into his father’s eyes. Brian brought his son into a hug. “Sometimes I thought you’d be able to fix it.”

Brian nodded against Gus’ ear. He had tried, several times but not even the great Brian fucking Kinney could fix Lindsay and Mel’s relationship. And he did try.

“Gus…” Brian began.

“I know, Pop, it’s over and it has been for a very long time but that doesn’t mean I stopped wishing.”

“I know, Sonny Boy. In some weird way, I had hoped it would work out, but your Mom’s happy now.”

“With Chaarrlless,” Gus said, exaggerating the name of Lindsay’s new boyfriend. Gus rolled his eyes.

“I like Mr. Charles,” Bree said as she joined her fathers and brother in the kitchen. She climbed up to sit on Gus’ lap. “He’s nice and he talks like Hudson. I like Hudson,” Bree declared, end of subject.

“I like Hudson too,” Gus agreed, not daring to argue with his sister.

“Now that we have that established,” Brian said, “what time is this shindig tonight?” 

“We were thinking maybe nine?” Justin suggested. “That way we have plenty of time for dinner, clean up, relax then put the hors d’oeuvres out.”

“Sounds like a plan. A few nibbles, some drinks, we watch the ball drop then off to bed,” Brian exclaimed then made a face. “When did I become so old that the most exciting part of my evening is kicking people out of my house and going to bed?”

Gus laughed. “You’re not old, you just have your priorities straight.” Gus grinned then glanced at Justin.

“Yeah,” Justin agreed as he elbowed his spouse. “You know, I could use a nap so I’ll have lots of energy for later.

“A nap?” Brian asked incredulously as he grabbed Justin’s wrist to check the time.

“Yes, a nap.” Justin stared into Brian’s eyes, willing him to understand. The light bulb clicked on.

“Oooh, a nap.” Brian stood to make an exaggerated stretch and yawn. “I think I can use a nap too. May I join you?” Brian asked politely.

“Of course, you may,” Justin answered in kind.

“If you two will excuse us, us old folks are going to take a nap,” Brian said to Gus and Bree as he offered his arm to his spouse. Justin took the proffered arm.

“And what are we supposed to do while you two are napping?” Gus asked as his fathers walked out of the kitchen.

“You’re a smart boy, I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Brian said as he and Justin laughed.

“Yeah, right,” Gus grumbled.

“It’s okay, Gus, I keep you company,” Bree said reassuringly. Gus hugged his sister.

*****

After a very satisfying ‘nap’, Brian and Justin cuddled, quietly talking.

“You’re almost to the end of your album,” Justin stated. He was aimlessly tracing patterns across Brian’s chest with his finger.

“Mmm.”

“You’ve been very brave.”

Brian snorted. “Why don’t you tell me how it ends, Sunshine.”

“What?”

“How the album ends.”

“Brian, it’s only a photo album. It doesn’t have magical powers.”

“Doesn’t it? It’s forced me to remember things I long forgot.”

“I didn’t think anything could force you to do anything that you didn’t want to do.”

“You forced me to love you.”

“Did I?”

“Yes, you did. You used your magic and cast a spell on me.”

“I didn’t know I had magical powers. I thought only Rage had powers.”

“You are in error. You have very special powers, stronger than Rage.”

“What kind of powers do I have?” Justin kissed a pert nipple.

“I thought that was obvious.” Brian slightly turned toward Justin. Justin’s kiss was more than innocent. “You have Sunshine powers,” Brian murmured then captured Justin’s lips.

It was time for another ‘nap.’

***** 

“Hi, Uncle Ben!” Bree said as the big man walked through the front door. He was carrying a couple of bags.

“Hi, princess. Where are your daddies?”

“They’re taking a nap.”

“Oh, a nap. Did they leave you all by yourself?”

“No, I was looking at Dada’s book with Gus.” Bree pointed to the album on the table. Ben put the contents of his bags in the refrigerator.

“It’s beautiful,” Ben exclaimed as he touched the cover then opened it. “Where did it come from?”

“Gamma Joan made it for my Dada. Daddy helped,” Bree proudly stated.

Ben flipped through several pages then stopped when he got to some pictures of New York City. There were several pictures of the Thanksgiving Day Parade. And of the dinner they all shared with Simon and Ken. It reminded Ben of the Thanksgiving that just passed, their whole family together except for Joan.

“Don’t be sad, Uncle Ben,” Bree said. She seemed to read Ben’s mind.

“What makes you think I’m sad?”

“Because...” Bree said softly as she looked down at the floor. She thought she said something wrong.

“It’s okay, Briana, I’m not angry. Tell me why you think I’m sad.” Ben lifted the petite child up and sat her on the kitchen counter.

“My Dada looks like that when he looks in the book. He misses my Gamma,” Bree explained. “I miss her too.” Her eyes began to glisten with unshed tears.

“It’s okay, Bree. You haven’t said anything wrong. And your grandmother was a very lovely lady. We all miss her. Now, when your daddies get up from their, um, nap. Tell them I brought over the cheese and fruit. It’s in the refrigerator. Can you do that for me?”

“No problem, Uncle Ben!” Ben lifted Bree off the counter, kissed her little nose then set her on her feet.

“We’ll see you later.”

“Later!” Bree responded then skipped out of the kitchen.