Standing in the Light

Chapter 3

"Done and done," Justin said in his best Homer Simpson voice.

"What?" Brian asked from the computer desk where he had been surfing.

"I just finished my paper that's due tomorrow."

"What subject?"

"English."

"Topic?"

"Homosexual overtones in the works of E. M. Forster."

"Christ, they never had topics like that when I was in university," Brian griped.

"Well, we have progressed somewhat from the Dark Ages when you were there."

"Twat!"

Justin giggled. "Are you going to give me my reward now or later?"

Brian thought for a moment as he listened to the whine of the printer making the hard copy of Justin's work. "What makes you think you deserve a reward for doing what is expected of you?"

"Because you love me and want to make me happy."

Brian felt a sudden jab of guilt. That was exactly what he did want to do, but he knew he didn't do it often enough and didn't say often enough how much he appreciated Justin standing by him and sticking with him through his asshole days and his push-them-off-the-cliff period and cancer. He shuddered. "I'll meet you in the bedroom in five minutes. I've thought of a suitable reward for a bad little boy."

"Oooh," Justin cooed. "I like the sound of that."

Brian smiled and continued to look at some of the internet advertising he had been examining. One of his new clients would do well to advertise on the net and he was trying to decide what sites and what approach to take to that campaign.

Justin retrieved the pages of his paper from the printer. He tapped them on the desk making sure they were all lined up. He opened the drawer looking for a proper folder to showcase his work. He rummaged through all the drawers not finding what he wanted.

Shit!"

"What's the matter, Sunshine? Printer eat your work?"

"No, but I can't find one of those clear plastic folders to put over it and it's due in the morning."

"I think there might be one in my briefcase. Have a look."

"Thanks." Justin went over to Brian's briefcase which stood beside the counter. He lifted it onto one of the barstools and opened it. He flipped through some papers not seeing what he wanted. "I don't see one," Justin said.

"Look in the top. I think there's one with something in it, but you can empty it and use it."

Justin pulled the papers out of the lid of the briefcase. He found the type of folder he wanted and then something else caught his eye.

"Brian, what's this?" he asked.

"What's what? I told you that you can throw out what was in the folder."

"Not that. This!" Justin held a piece of paper with a drawing on it under Brian's nose.

"Give me that," Brian said snatching it out of Justin's hand and standing up abruptly. "That's none of your business."

"What are you doing with one of Joey's drawings of Andrew?"

"Who's Andrew?" Brian asked trying to stay calm.

"It's the name written on the bottom of this picture. I know it's one of Joey's drawings. It's exactly like all his others. Why do you have this, Brian?"

Brian scrambled trying to think of a plausible explanation, but he knew Justin would never buy anything he was likely to come up with. Maybe it was time for the truth. He took a deep breath.

"Okay, okay," Brian said slowly the hand holding the picture planted on his hip, the other raking through his hair. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise never to tell anyone else."

"Of course, I won't. Your secrets are safe with me. Everything is safe with me." He smiled at Brian wondering what the hell he was going to hear.

Brian knew that he truly was safe with Justin. Justin always kept his confidences. It was other people who couldn't keep their mouths shut, not to name any names.

"Come sit over here and bring a bottle of Beam with you."

"Briaaaan," Justin said not wanting Brian to get drunk. He wanted to hear the whole story, not some liquor induced fantasy.

"All right, forget the booze. Come sit with me."

They sat on the large cushions by the tall windows. Brian leaned against the sill at the bottom of the windows and tapped the cushion between his legs. Justin scooted in between them and leaned back against Brian's chest. He smiled to himself. This was typical of Brian not wanting to look at him while he told something he really didn't want to reveal. He felt Brian's strong arms come around his chest and he sighed contentedly. Anything new he learned about Brian Kinney only made him love the man more. He wondered what this story would be.

"I'm Andrew," Brian whispered above his head.

"What?" Justin asked turning to look at Brian's face. He thought he might be kidding, putting him on, but Brian's eyes told him that he was serious. "How can you be Andrew?"

"My full name is Brian Andrew Patrick Kinney."

"You mean the 'A' doesn't really stand for asshole?"

"No, twat," Brian said giving Justin's nipple a pinch.

"Ow!"

"Be quiet and listen. When I started Safe Haven I decided…"

"You started Safe Haven?"

"That's what I said. Now, may I finish?"

Justin turned again to look into Brian's eyes. The man was deadly serious. Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing. He turned back to look out at the loft and rested his head against Brian's throat. He wasn't sure his little brain could take all this in. "Go on," he managed to croak out.

"I decided I didn't want anybody to know that I had anything to do with Safe Haven."

"But why?" Justin had a million questions, but the most pressing one was why wouldn't Brian want people to know how incredibly generous he was founding a place like Safe Haven. "And where the fuck did you get the money to do it?"

Brian chuckled. "If you can contain yourself long enough for me to get a word in, you might get the answers to all your questions."

"Sorry, I'll be quiet now."

"I'll believe that when I see it." Brian waited, expecting some retort from his blond twink. When nothing was forthcoming he decided to continue his story.

"I had been working at Ryder a little over a year. I was doing really well for myself. I had bought the loft and the Jeep and I was riding high."

Justin sighed. He could picture a young, vibrant Brian Kinney just starting out on his career. He wished he had known Brian then, but at least he knew him now.

"One day this man came into my office. He had a new idea for selling computers and had just established his own company. He needed to have an advertising campaign that would get his ideas and his product out to the public."

"Who was this?" Justin asked.

"The guy who runs Comtech computers."

"You're kidding?"

"No, I'm not. He had no money to pay for advertising but he asked me to take him on and he would pay me with stock in his company. At that point the stock was worthless, but he promised it would skyrocket once the company got going. We kind of hit it off."

"Is he gay?"

"No. I didn't mean that we hit it off like that. We just liked each other. I thought he had a great idea for marketing his computers, not like any other manufacturer until Dell came along. Anyway, I helped him with getting his product known and he gave me thousands of shares of his worthless stock. After a couple of years those shares were worth several million dollars."

"You're kidding!" Justin said turning again to make sure Brian wasn't shitting him.

"You keep saying that, Sunshine. I'm telling you the true story."

"Sorry, but it's unbelievable. What did you do with all that money?"

"It was back in my bad old days. I did a lot of drugs and trips to the White Party and … you know."

"Yeah, I know," Justin said with a sigh. "Did you waste it all?"

"No, I did not," Brian said indignantly. "Just some of it," he admitted. "I realized after a while that the money wasn't making me any happier. I had everything I needed from my salary at Ryder and I was just shitting myself by thinking that drinking and drugging my nights away was doing anybody any good."

"So how did you come to found Safe Haven?"

"Shortly after I had this revelation about my life, there was a headline in the papers about a ten year old boy who was beaten to death by his parents. It was quite a scandal, made worse by the fact that Child Services had been called in several times and had not removed the boy, mainly because they had no place to put him."

"Was that your inspiration for Safe Haven?" Justin asked thinking of what little he knew of Brian's own abusive childhood.

"Kind of. I realized somewhere in there that the little boy could have been me," Brian whispered.

Justin twisted around and gave Brian a long, soft kiss, pouring out his concern and understanding in their embrace.

When the kiss ended, Brian looked quizzically at his partner and then grinned. "But it wasn't, so I decided to do something about these kids that weren't lucky enough to have the Novotny household to run to."

Justin frowned thinking of how important Debbie and Michael had been in Brian's life. He vowed to try not to resent Michael's place in said life and be thankful that Brian had someone he could depend on back in those scary times.

"I contacted my friend at Comtech. His name's Michael too and we agreed to found a safe haven for abused kids in Pittsburgh. He said he would match my funds, and we set up a trust using most of the money from his shares. I found the old house where Safe Haven is now located and then Blanche Dalton came into the picture. She was a godsend and has run Safe Haven ever since."

"Jesus, Brian, how long have you kept this a secret?"

"It isn't a secret exactly. I just never told anyone."

"They all think you're an asshole," Justin said, meaning their little family of misfits.

"Let them. I don't care."

"But they should know how generous you are, what a great guy."

"I'm not. I did it for selfish reasons."

"How do you figure that?"

"I would probably be dead now if I had continued the way I was going. I did it to save my own life."

"You know, that would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic."

"What do you mean?" Brian asked tensing up behind Justin.

"You believe your own fucking bullshit that you're such an uncaring bastard. You really are a wonderful man."

"Justin," Brian rumbled. Justin knew by the tone that he was treading on shaky ground opening this up with Brian, but he knew it needed to be said.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Justin asked.

"Probably not," Brian admitted.

"Asshole!"

"See, you think I'm an asshole too," Brian smirked knowing that Justin didn't really think that at all.

"Do not," Justin retorted. "I don't see why you couldn't have told me. You know I can keep a secret."

"You weren't supposed to know. Nobody was supposed to know. It's all Joey's fault … and Emmett's for taking you to Safe Haven."

"And how do you figure that it's Emmett's fault. I would still have found that picture in your briefcase."

"But you wouldn't have known what it meant, and I could have made up some story."

"You would have lied to me?" Justin asked in disbelief.

"Probably," Brian admitted. "Nobody was supposed to know."

"You said that before, but I think what nobody was supposed to know was that you are a kind … and caring … and giving man." He punctuated each character trait with a kiss.

"Well, that too," Brian said tongue in cheek.

Justin smiled up at him. It was good to hear Brian admit, even in such an obtuse manner, that he knew that he was a good man.

"I'm glad you finally told me."

"You will keep it just between us?"

"I promise."

"I should maybe tell you the rest of it then."

"The rest?"

"There's a Safe Haven II in Philadelphia."

"Jesus Christ, Brian! How big is this thing?"

"We're looking at a site for number three in Harrisburg."

"Fuck!"

"I'd like to, if you're ready. Wasn't there something about a reward before all hell broke loose?" Brian asked kissing the top of Justin's head.

"I seem to remember that, but I think you're the one who deserves a reward."

"We can reward each other," Brian suggested.

"That sounds good to me," Justin said turning in Brian's arms and sliding his hands under Brian's wifebeater. His palms caressed Brian's chest squeezing over his breasts, his fingers gently pinching the nipples. Brian moaned and captured Justin's lips in a deep kiss.

They tore at each other's clothes discarding them, feeling the need for skin against skin. Brian shoved Justin down on the large cushion and humped against him. Their straining cocks caught between them grew even harder with the friction.

"I need you," Justin whispered against Brian's ear. "Fuck me."

Brian quickly donned a condom and entered his lover. He knew Justin would keep his secret. He had always known that. But he had never found the right moment or reason to tell Justin about Safe Haven. He was glad it was all out in the open now.

Brian began his steady rhythm building in speed and intensity as they spiraled towards orgasm. Each thrust spoke his trust and belief in Justin. Justin could hear what Brian was telling him as clearly as if the man had shouted it from the rooftop.

"I love you … so much," Justin said seeking the red swollen lips once again.

The kiss went on and on as Brian continued to pump into Justin's tight hole. He couldn't believe how much Justin meant to him. He had never had anyone he could talk to and confide everything to. He told Michael a lot of things, but not everything. Michael always had trouble keeping information to himself.

"Justin," Brian moaned as his orgasm neared. "Close."

"Me too," Justin gasped. And suddenly they were coming, long and hard and satisfyingly.

"Phew," Justin breathed as Brian dropped on top of him finally spent. "That was some reward."

"I expect the same reward for myself," Brian said trying to catch his breath.

"Are you saying…?"

"Yes," Brian said looking into those blue eyes. "But give me a minute."

Justin's arms went around Brian's back holding him close and trying to keep Brian's softening cock inside of him for just a little longer. After a minute or two Brian rolled away not wanting to crush the boy. He disposed of the condom and lay down beside his lover.

"I didn't know that your full name was Brian Andrew Patrick Kinney," Justin said thoughtfully.

"That stays between the two of us too," Brian cautioned giving Justin a glare.

"Okay, but what difference does it make?"

"It's my business," Brian said simply.

"You'd rather have people think your middle name is asshole?"

Brian shrugged. "I don't care what they think."

"How come nobody knows about the Patrick part?"

"It's my confirmation name. You know, after St. Patrick of Ireland."

"I see," Justin said. "I always tried to guess what the 'A' stood for."

"You did? What was your best guess?"

"Aloysius."

"Christ!"

"Well, when you wouldn't say, people are going to think the worst."

"People?"

"Me."

"I didn't realize I was the topic of so much speculation." Justin snorted. "What?" Brian asked.

"You thrive on speculation. In fact I bet you get your jollies from all the dumb things people think about you."

Brian's smirk told Justin that he had hit the nail on the head.

"Joey really thinks a lot of you," Justin said suddenly.

"I think a lot of Joey. He's only been at Safe Haven for a few weeks."

"I know. He was telling me that he has another three weeks before his cast comes off."

"He was in pretty bad shape when I picked him up to bring him to Safe Haven."

"You brought him there yourself?"

"There was no one else available that day. Blanche had to stay with the other children."

Justin thought back about a month. "Was that the day you were late for dinner and I was ticked at you?"

"No, Sunshine, that was a week or so after Joey was rescued."

"Rescued? I like that."

"He was so scared and so brave that day I picked him up. He refused to talk to anybody. All he said was that he was never going back to his fucking parents because they didn't deserve him."

"He's right. They don't deserve him. I don't know how adults, parents, can do that to their child."

"I do," Brian said with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Justin rolled towards Brian and took his face in his hands. He stared into the hazel eyes and then slowly kissed the full lips. "No child should have to endure what Joey went through." Justin meant that Brian shouldn't have had to endure it either.

"That's right," Brian said staring. "That's why they have Safe Haven."

"I think it's time for your reward now."

"You do, do you?"

"You said I could."

"I always mean what I say," Brian said sticking his tongue in his cheek.

"Good. Roll over."

Brian obliged by turning onto his stomach. He waited for the raspy feel of Justin's tongue to start working on his back and his ass cheeks and his hole. He moaned slightly getting hard just from thinking about it. Justin didn't seem to be paying attention.

"Sunshine," Brian singsonged his nickname.

"Hmmm."

"Waiting here."

"Oh, yeah."

"What the fuck are you thinking about?"

"Emmett."

"Emmett? At a time like this?"

"He really wants to talk to Andrew."

"I know. I've been avoiding him."

"You can't do that indefinitely. You know Emmett doesn't give up easily."

"Unfortunately I do know that. But at the moment I prefer not to think of Emmett Honeycutt." Brian wiggled his ass trying to get Justin to concentrate on the issue at hand.

"You can trust Emmett, you know. He wouldn't tell anybody if you asked him not to."

"I may have to do just that," Brian admitted. "But right now would you stick your goddamn tongue or finger or cock up my fucking ass before I go crazy?"

"Yes, Andrew," Justin giggled as his tongue dove into Brian's hole causing the man to whimper and rise up off the cushion. He would make sure Brian Andrew Patrick Kinney got a spectacular reward and knew how much his altruistic actions were appreciated by at least one person.