Standing in the Light

Chapter 5

The next day Brian dithered about arranging a meeting with Emmett. It pissed him off when he couldn't make a decision. He hated to be indecisive. It was not part of his vocabulary. He knew he should see Emmett … for Jason, but he didn't want "them" all to know about his role in Safe Haven. He was pretty sure that if he told Emmett then the whole family would find out. He didn't like that prospect at all.

He called Blanche and found out that Jason was still there and although he was being very silent and rather uncooperative, he had shown no signs of bolting again. She told him that Emmett was coming in the next morning to volunteer, and had promised Jason that they would spend some time together. Brian thought that was a good thing. Jason needed a friend right now. He wondered if he should meet with Emmett before Emmett saw Jason again.

The day gradually slipped away. Debbie called around noon and asked him and Justin to come to a family dinner. She wouldn't say what the purpose of it was, just that she wanted them all there. Finally Brian agreed. He would have much preferred to have his time to himself, and be alone with Justin when he came back from a visit with Daphne.

When Brian and Justin walked into Debbie's, late as usual, everyone was seated around the table and a heated discussion was in progress.

"About time you got here, asshole," Debbie griped.

"Thanks for the warm and heartfelt welcome, Deb," Brian retorted as he slumped into a chair. "Where's my son?" he asked looking around.

"We left him with a sitter," Melanie said.

"Shit! I wanted to see him."

"Then come by the fucking house some time."

"I … I will," Brian said. "Things have been kind of hectic lately."

"I bet," Melanie scoffed. "Getting your dick sucked takes up so much of your time."

Brian frowned and glared at Melanie. Justin saw the anger building and tried to diffuse it. "Maybe we could take Gus for some time next weekend," he suggested.

"That would be great," Lindsay said trying to keep Mel and Brian from going at each other.

"Would you all shut the fuck up!" Debbie told them. "Get some food and then I'll tell you all why I asked you here."

"Don't you mean ordered us here?" Brian asked sticking his tongue in his cheek.

"You just shut that trap!" Debbie glared at him. "You're already in my bad books for being late."

"I'm quaking in my boots," Brian muttered, not happy about Gus' absence and not enjoying getting chewed out in front of everyone.

"Why did you invite us?" Justin asked hoping again to get the topic turned around to something more positive before Brian decided to walk out.

"She wouldn't tell us," Ted said. "She was waiting for everyone to get here." He looked pointedly at Brian who stuck out his tongue at him.

"Has everybody got some food?" Debbie asked ignoring Justin's question. "Brian?"

Justin put some pasta on Brian's plate and then loaded up his own.

"We're all set," Lindsay said, "so tell us what's going on."

"Okay, okay," Debbie said taking a deep breath. "You all know that since Vic died I have been at loose ends." They all nodded knowingly and Michael patted his mother's hand. "I'm really glad that Michael and Ben have Hunter with them now." She smiled at the newly formed family. "But I don't see as much of them as I would like."

"Ma," Michael said. "You know we try to get over as often as we can."

"I know," she said, "but it just isn't the same. You have your own lives to live. That's why I was so happy when Emmett moved in." She smiled affectionately at Emmett who beamed in response.

"So is this a thank-you-to-Emmett-for-moving-in dinner?" Ted asked.

"No, it isn't," Debbie replied. "I know Emmett won't be here forever. He'll find someone and they'll want their own place."

"From your lips to God's ear," Emmett said making a face.

"Anyway, I'm thinking of doing something that I wanted to run by you all, because I might need your help," Debbie explained.

"What is it, Ma?" Michael asked looking at his mother in a concerned fashion. "You're all right, aren't you?"

"I'm fine, sweetheart," Debbie replied caressing Michael's face.

"Then tell us what the fuck you're going to do," Hunter demanded getting sick of waiting for the promised explanation.

"You watch that mouth, young man!" Debbie admonished and Hunter looked sheepish. "There's a kid who is in a pretty bad way right now, and could use a home and some much needed moral support. I'm planning on providing the home and I want you all to help with the moral support," Debbie said looking around the table.

"Who's this kid?" Michael asked with a frown.

"His name is Jason and Emmett met him at Safe Haven where he has been volunteering."

Brian groaned inwardly. This was all he needed. He glanced at Justin who was studying him with concern written all over his face. He gave a quick shake of his head to let Justin know not to say anything, but that he was all right even though he didn't like this turn of events.

"What's Safe Haven?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh, it's a home for abused kids. I've been volunteering there for a few weeks," Emmett explained. "Justin even came with me one day to do a little art lesson for some of the kids."

"That's great, guys," Ben said.

"I met this kid Jason who is at Safe Haven right now, but when he turns fourteen in a couple of weeks, he has to go somewhere else. He's not happy about where they're sending him, so he ran away the other day."

"Ma, I don't think you should be taking in a juvenile delinquent," Michael said.

"He's not a delinquent. He just ran away because he's unhappy," Debbie stated.

"He called me, and Deb and I picked him up and brought him here," Emmett added. "He was pretty upset but we talked him into going back to Safe Haven. He's a mixed up teenager, but he's not really a bad kid."

"How do you know that?" Michael asked. "He could rob you or kill you in your sleep."

"You took in Hunter," Debbie said glaring at her son.

"That's different," Michael declared.

"No, it's not," Ben contradicted his husband. "I think that's a great idea, Debbie."

"Thank you, Ben," Debbie responded with an affectionate smile for her son-in-law. "I'm going to do this. What I want is your support and maybe some help if the kid gets a little hard to handle. Do I have that?" she asked looking around the table. Most heads nodded yes, but Debbie's eyes fell on Brian who had not moved or made any acknowledgement of her request. "Brian?"

"I don't know if it's such a good idea," Brian said not wanting to get into why.

"See, Ma, Brian doesn't like it either," Michael said.

"I'm not asking your permission," Debbie said. "I just want your help and support. Do I have it?" Michael finally nodded as Debbie continued to glare at him.

When there was no immediate response from Brian, Ted said, "Like Brian helps or supports anyone? Especially a pathetic runaway?"

"That's not true," Justin said angry at Ted's statement.

Brian glared at Justin willing him to be silent. "I think that's a lot of responsibility to take on, Deb. That's all that I meant," Brian stated.

"Don't think I can handle it?" Debbie asked giving Brian a withering look.

"I'm sure you'll try your best," Brian admitted. "It's just that some of these kids are pretty screwed up by life, and it's difficult for anyone to help them."

"And what makes you such an expert on these kids?" Melanie asked with scorn in her voice.

"Brian's right," Lindsay defended him. "Some of these kids can't be helped."

"But this one can be. I'm sure of it," Debbie said.

"What makes you so sure?" Ben asked.

"I talked to the kid when we picked him up. He needs some support and caring," Debbie said. "He obviously didn't want to run away or he would have just kept going."

"And he's gay," Emmett added. "What better place for him to be than here with me and Pittsburgh's ultimate fag hag." He stood up and gave Deb a large smooch on the cheek. She beamed at him.

"Are you sure they'll let the kid come here?" Melanie asked. "Look at all the trouble Michael and Ben had getting Hunter."

"We still have to work that out, but I don't see why I can't foster this kid. That way I will have some financial support if he comes here."

"Don't you have to apply to do that?" Lindsay asked.

"Yes, she does," Melanie said. "And not everybody gets accepted."

"We know that and we don't have much time before Jason has to go to the other home, the one he's running away from," Debbie said.

"If I could get in touch with the asshole who runs Safe Haven," Emmett said, "Maybe we could get his support and it would expedite things."

"Who is that?" Melanie asked.

"Some fucking asshole named Andrew Patrick," Emmett said. Justin glanced at Brian who shrugged slightly.

"Why is he an asshole?" Lindsay asked.

"I've been trying to speak to him for days and he won't agree to meet me," Emmett said.

"Why not?" Lindsay asked.

"Fuck if I know!" Emmett said vehemently. "If we could get his support we might be able to help Jason. The ironic part of this whole thing is that Andrew Patrick is gay too, and Jason has one humongous crush on the man."

Justin felt Brian grab his hand and squeeze to keep him from saying anything or asking any questions. He didn't need to, because Hunter did it for him.

"If this guy's such a jerk, why does Jason have a crush on him?" Hunter asked.

"Don't know," Emmett said. "Never seen the man. Don't know anything about him. Everybody at Safe Haven seems to love him, but he's a big mystery to us lowly volunteers. I don't know how he can say he cares about the children when he won't meet with me to discuss the welfare of one of those children."

"And you've tried to contact him?" Melanie asked.

"I've asked for a meeting. Nobody will give me a phone number or an address to contact him myself," Emmett explained.

"I could look into this guy for you," Melanie offered.

Justin felt Brian shudder and wanted to take the man in his arms and protect him. He felt Brian's fingers squeeze his and he kept silent.

"That would be great, Mel," Emmett said. "The guy's got to be some kind of total jerk.

"Sounds like an asshole of the nth degree," Ted agreed.

"Time to go, Sunshine," Brian said standing up.

"You haven't eaten anything," Debbie said.

"I have a project due and Brian has work to do at home," Justin explained as he followed Brian to the door.

"I want your support too," Debbie reminded them.

As Brian opened the door, he and Justin both heard Melanie say, "There goes one asshole. I'll look into the other one for you, Emmett."

Brian tried to slam the door behind him, but Justin was there to grab it and shut it more gently.

"I'm sorry, Brian," Justin said putting his hand on Brian's shoulder. "They don't know who Andrew Patrick is."

"But they know who I am, and you see what they think of me," Brian said with a shrug.

"You could change all that by telling them who Andrew Patrick really is."

"I don't give a fuck what they think, and I'm not telling them anything."

Justin sighed. He knew that deep down Brian did care what they thought of him. He wondered how people who came to him time and time again for help could think so little of him. He followed Brian to the car.

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Brian put his hand on the doorknob at Safe Haven. He was scheduled to meet with Emmett Honeycutt. He had finally agreed to the meeting for Jason's sake. He felt that Emmett might be able to get through to the boy, even though he didn't know what having Jason living at Debbie's would do to his own secret identity. In the long run Jason's welfare was more important than his secret.

He seriously wanted to blow off this meeting though, and hightail it back to work. He knew, however, that that wasn't an option as he turned the handle and opened the door. He wondered what the next few minutes would hold for him … and Emmett.

No one was in the foyer except Emmett Honeycutt. He sat in a chair flipping through a magazine, obviously waiting … for him. Brian groaned noting that it was now too late to duck back outside, as Emmett had turned to see who had opened the door.

"Brian!" he reacted to the unexpected apparition that stood before him. He stood up.

"Emmett," Brian replied not knowing what else to say.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian was tempted to make up a lie. Before he could open his mouth Emmett asked, "Are you doing some kind of ad campaign for this place?"

It would have been simple to say yes, but Brian had decided to take this meeting with his friend. He needed to talk to Emmett about Jason. The boy had chosen for whatever reason to confide in the party planner.

"No," Brian said. "I'm here about Jason."

"You are? I'm waiting to talk to someone about Jason too," Emmett said and then frowned. "How do you know Jason?"

"It's a long story. Is he still here?"

"Yeah, he's up in his room. I'm going to speak to him after I finally get to see this asshole Andrew Patrick."

Brian shook his head. He didn't know how to reveal his news to Emmett. He dreaded that moment, but he knew he needed to do it for Jason. They had to help the boy … together.

Jason had always kept to himself. He didn't make friends easily. Brian suspected that he had been the boy's only friend and confidant since he had arrived at Safe Haven. Lately though they never talked. Now Jason had chosen to confide in Emmett. Brian thought back to when he had begun to realize that Jason was gay, and that the boy was growing far too attached to him. He had backed away. He had hoped that space and time would allow the boy to forget him, but he realized now that it had only isolated the boy. He had handled everything very badly.

"Brian … Brian…" Emmett was saying.

"What?"

"You seem really distracted. You never said how you came to know Jason."

"I … I've been coming to Safe Haven for a long time," Brian admitted.

Emmett's eyebrows went way up. Brian realized that that admission would seem very out of character to his friend. "How long?" Emmett asked.

"Since it began."

"Brian … is there something you're not saying?" Emmett was looking at him in a very strange manner. Brian thought the man must be thinking he had run into an evil twin, no make that a good twin, of the real Brian Kinney.

"I'm Andrew," Brian said simply.

"What? What did you say? That's a joke, right?"

"You heard me. I'm Andrew Patrick."

"But … but how? How is that possible?"

"I need you to keep this to yourself, Emmett. No one is to know." Emmett nodded. Brian hoped Justin was right and Emmett could keep a secret. "Come into Blanche's office and I'll explain."

Emmett followed Brian into the office, after he had picked his chin up off the floor. "Brian, I don't get this. What's going on?"

The two men sat down. Brian drew in a long breath knowing that he was going to hate every minute of this. "I started Safe Haven a couple of years after I began working at Ryder. I had help doing it, mostly financial, but I have been the one seeing that it survives ever since its inception."

"And no one knows?" Emmett asked trying to keep his mouth closed. It wanted to continually drop to the floor in amazement.

"Justin knows," Brian said.

"I see. He never said anything when I brought him here to draw with Joey."

"He didn't know at that point," Brian admitted. "He's too damn good at piecing things together." The gruffness in his voice didn't hide the affection Emmett heard there too.

"So I kind of spilled the beans by bringing him here?" Emmett asked.

"You had your role in it, and you are fucking keeping this between the two of us. Do I make myself clear?"

"Um … certainly, Mr. Kinney, sir. Or should I call you Mr. Patrick, sir?"

"Don't call me anything. Forget that you ever heard about this."

"I'm not sure I can keep secrets the way you can."

"Learn! Fast!" Brian ordered.

Emmett could see that Brian was deadly serious. He would have to file this information away and never bring it out again. Fuck! He loved a good piece of gossip and this was just about the best he'd ever heard. And nobody could ever know. He sighed loudly.

"Too bad you won't get your moment of glory on the gossip grapevine," Brian said with a smirk as if he had read Emmett's mind.

"It's more important that we help Jason," Emmett said thoughtfully.

"You're right," Brian agreed. He'd willingly give up his secret identity if he could have Jason safe, and able to get on with his life. "He told me that he had a talk with you, that he told you he was gay."

"He did," Emmett said thinking back to that conversation. "He was quite upset, cried on my shoulder."

"What did he tell you?"

"That he loved … you, or rather that he was in love with you."

"I've known that for a while. I've tried to distance myself from him ever since I clued in," Brian said shaking his head.

"It didn't work," Emmett said bluntly.

"I fucking know that! Did he say anything else, anything that might be helpful?"

"I can't think of anything," Emmett said trying to remember. "I told him he could always talk to me about … things. But he wanted you. I gave him my phone number that day. I guess that's why he called me when he ran away. He has it bad for you, and then his imminent banishment to Red Wheel just compounded matters."

"I know. I should have acted sooner, but I was dreading my talk with him. And my worst fears were realized."

"I wanted to talk to … Andrew, and warn him … you," Emmett said getting confused about the whole double persona.

"What would you have told me? Anything that could have prevented this?" Brian asked.

"Probably not, but I had to try."

"I … I appreciate that you care. Jason was one of the first group of kids who came to Safe Haven. The rest have all left, most of them successfully. He's the first gay one and he's the first runner. I wish there was something more we could do for him."

"Well, we need to figure something out. Debbie and I used every argument we could think of to get him to come back here."

"What do you think about her idea of taking Jason in, fostering him?"

"I like it. We'd both be there to work with the boy and help him."

"Yeah," Brian agreed.

"He needs a stable environment when he leaves here … and people who care about him," Emmett added. He stared at Brian still trying to comprehend the news that Brian had just laid on him. "It seems to me that another fourteen year old came to the Novotny home for help … a long time ago."

Brian smiled. "You think Deb can pull off another miracle? Although, most of my friends seem to think it turned out to be more of a disaster than a miracle. Seems like they would have been just as happy if she had let that kid perish."

Emmett started at Brian's choice of the word "perish". He knew things had been bad, but that bad? He also felt slightly ashamed about the way the family had treated Brian at Debbie's dinner the other night. "So what do you want to do?" Emmett asked.

"Let's go talk to Jason and then we can make some decisions."

Together they walked out of the office united in their wish to help the boy.