Standing in the Light

Chapter 7

Debbie was accepted as a foster parent and Jason agreed to go live there. The move was made very quickly before Jason's birthday. Once he was moved in Debbie wanted to have a dinner to introduce him to his new family, including all the weird and wonderful extended parts of it. Emmett convinced her to put it off for a week to let the boy settle in. He also suggested that they make it a birthday party for Jason instead of just a dinner.

Invitations, or command performances as some thought of them, were issued to each member of the family. All said they would attend, some under more duress than others to do so. Most were interested to meet Jason, the boy who had affected Debbie and Emmett enough to cause this upheaval in their lives.

Brian agreed to attend. He was pretty sure that Emmett had kept his word and no one else knew about Andrew Patrick. His problem was how to reveal his double identity. He debated telling Jason ahead of time. The boy might appreciate being told first, but he might also see it as part of a deception. He didn't want Jason to think he had manipulated him into going to Debbie's. He hoped Jason would soon learn to like it there.

As for everyone else learning his identity, Brian was even more reluctant. He really did not want them to know. However, it now seemed that it was no longer his decision. With Jason living at Debbie's it was inevitable that it would all come out.

Justin picked out a birthday gift for Jason. Brian liked what Justin had chosen, feeling that it was something a young person would want. He wasn't so sure Debbie would like a boom box with a gift certificate for ten CD's. Somehow he felt that was a bit of divine retribution for her and Emmett's role in all of this.

The morning of the party Brian discovered he had a strange and abiding reluctance to get out of bed. He was sure it was dread on his part. He knew what was to come. Justin tried to jolly him along, but a foul mood and a foul mouth went along with Brian's sudden need to take to his bed. Finally Justin went to Daphne's for the afternoon leaving Brian alone to brood.

He still resented the hell out of having his role at Safe Haven made public to the other members of his family. But what choice did he have? He frittered away the day still trying to decide how to handle everything.

When Justin finally came home, Brian was still in a bad mood. Justin didn't say anything as he went up to the bedroom to start getting ready to go to Debbie's dinner. He took a shower and chose what to wear. When he was done he came down the steps to find Brian still sitting on the couch staring out the window.

"Are you going to get ready?" Justin asked.

"I don't know."

"Are you chickening out?"

"I…"

"They're your friends … family. They'll understand. You don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid!" Brian shot back. But the huge boulder in the pit of his stomach told him that was exactly what he was feeling.

"Then get ready. We need to leave soon."

"Why don't you go on ahead and I'll come later. Take the present with you."

"Don't be silly, Brian. We'll go together. Come on. Go get ready." Justin tried to pull him up from the couch. Brian allowed himself to be dead weight and Justin couldn't budge him. "Brian…?"

"Go, now!" Brian spat out. "Leave me alone."

"Does that mean you're not coming?" There was no answer. "They're going to find out eventually. Why not get it over with?" Justin asked trying another tack.

"I'll think about it," Brian said. "Just go ahead. Take a cab and I'll … come later with the car."

Justin didn't believe that for a minute. "I'll go on ahead if you go take a shower and start to get ready."

"Oh, fuck, all right," Brian grumbled standing up. He just wanted Justin to go.

"What should I tell them?" Justin asked.

"About what?"

"Brian, don't be like this. What should I tell them about why you're not with me?"

"Tell them … something came up," Brian replied using his patented line.

"They all know what that means," Justin said making a face.

"Then tell them I had a work emergency."

"Like you had to do a last minute campaign to save the failing corn flakes market?" Justin asked sarcastically.

"Sounds good to me," Brian said as he disappeared up the steps. Justin heard him slide the bathroom door closed. End of discussion. He heaved a sigh and picked up the phone to call a cab. That done he gathered up Jason's present and then as an afterthought went over to the bookshelves behind Brian's desk. He had a few minutes to wait before the cab would arrive. He saw the color he was looking for and pulled out the binder. He flipped it open and was immediately blown away by what he saw inside. He flipped through several pages before he slid the binder into his messenger bag, picked up Jason's gift and went down to the street to meet the cab.

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A couple of hours later everyone was finishing up their dinner. They were sitting all over Debbie's living room and kitchen, most sipping wine and cleaning up the last bit of their pasta. Hunter and Jason were drinking their cokes and talking about some of the music groups that they liked. Emmett watched Jason sneak continual glances at the pile of presents on the table under the window. It was probably time for him to open them and then they could have the cake and coffee.

Emmett signaled Debbie with a little shake of his head towards the gifts. She noted what he was indicating and opened her mouth to say something. He was shocked at what came out.

"So where is the fucking asshole?" she asked loud enough for everybody to hear. The question was directed at Justin.

"I told you, Deb," Justin said lamely. "He had something to do."

"You'd think one fucking time he could think of somebody other than himself."

"He does," Justin said quietly.

"Yeah, right!" Debbie responded. "Well, fuck him!"

"Who are you talking about?" Jason asked.

"Brian," Hunter told him. "He's totally gorgeous, but not very reliable."

Justin wanted to scream. Even Hunter, who had an unabashed crush on Brian, thought he was an asshole. He groaned inwardly. He so wanted to reveal Brian's role at Safe Haven but he knew he would be in big trouble if he did. He bit his bottom lip and stayed silent. He glanced over at Emmett to see his reaction. Emmett gave him a small sympathetic smile. At least he knew that Brian was more than what the family thought of him at the moment.

"Enough about that asshole," Debbie said. "Jason, honey, come over here." Jason stood up and walked over to Debbie. She grabbed him in one of her massive bear hugs. When she released him she said, "This is the fucked up group we call our family. I hope they haven't scared you too badly." Jason grinned and shook his head. They were a startling group but at least they had welcomed him. "It's time for you to open all these presents," she said gesturing to the pile that awaited him.

Jason moved to the table and sat down on the floor next to it. Michael handed him a present and he began to reveal all the goodies people had brought him. He was blown away by how generous everyone was. They didn't know him at all, and yet they had bought him clothes and CD's and games and a stereo. He could hardly believe his eyes.

As Jason was finishing opening the last present, Emmett felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out, looked at who was calling and frowned. He stepped into the kitchen and answered it. The brief conversation ended with him coming out of the kitchen and announcing that cake and coffee would be coming shortly. He went over to Jason and told him that someone wanted to see him on the front porch. Jason looked confused but he got up and walked to the front door. Everyone watched him go and looked at Emmett for an explanation.

"Brian's outside," he said softly. "He wanted a private word with Jason before he comes in."

"Private word, my ass," Debbie exploded. "What the fuck does he think he's doing? He doesn't show up for dinner or the presents and then calls Jason away when he should be blowing out the fucking candles on his fucking cake." She got up like she was going to go put a stop to their meeting.

"Deb, come help me with the cake. Let them talk for a minute. Please!"

Debbie stared at Emmett and something about his demeanor caused her to relent. She went into the kitchen to get the coffee going. Justin let out a sigh of relief. He could see Jason through the curtains. He could not see Brian, but he knew everything was going to come out now, and he was glad of it.

Jason walked out onto the porch not knowing what he would find. He was stunned to see Andrew standing at the far end of the verandah. "Andrew?" he asked and then smiled. "You came," he said and ran into Brian's arms.

Brian hugged the boy. Maybe for the last time, he thought. "Happy birthday," he said softly.

"Thanks," the boy said releasing Brian and looking into his face. "What are you doing out here? Why didn't you just come in?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Brian said.

"About what?"

Brian still did not know how to explain all this. He glanced around looking for something to talk about. "Is this your new bike?" he asked gesturing towards the shiny bike sitting on the porch."

"Yeah," Jason said with a smile. "Debbie and Emmett gave it to me as a welcoming gift. They're great."

"Yeah, they are," Brian admitted.

"Do you know Debbie?" he asked with a frown. Something wasn't quite right about all this.

"I've known Debbie since I was your age," Brian said.

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's kind of complicated."

"What is?"

"Have you met everyone in the family?" Brian asked seeming to change the subject.

"Everyone except some asshole named Brian that they keep talking about."

Brian grimaced a bit. "Jason, I'm Brian."

"What?" Jason asked not sure that he had heard correctly.

"I'm Brian," Brian repeated.

"But … you're Andrew," Jason said in bewilderment.

"I'm Andrew too, but I was Brian long before I was Andrew."

"I don't understand." Jason appeared to be confused and upset. Brian thought he could feel the beginnings of anger too. "What the fuck is this all about?"

"It's hard to explain…"

"If you're Brian…" Jason began like he was piecing things together, "then you are an asshole. Why didn't you tell me?" Jason could feel tears of anger and frustration beginning to well up.

"I'm trying to explain now…" Brian started to say.

"If you're Brian, then you and that Justin…" he didn't finish the statement, just let it hang in the air between them. Somehow that seemed like the ultimate betrayal. "You fucking bastard!" Jason yelled. He turned abruptly, grabbed his bike and ran down the front steps.

"Jason!" Brian called.

"Fuck off!" Jason yelled over his shoulder. He was already on his bike and pedaling away.

"Jason, wait! Let me explain," Brian called after him. The boy merely pedaled harder.

"He's really upset, huh?" Justin asked coming out the front door.

"Was everybody watching?" Brian asked making a face.

"Mostly just Emmett and me, but they all heard the shouting match," Justin explained.

"I need to go after him," Brian said.

"I'll come with you," Justin volunteered.

"No, I need to do this myself. I'll drive around and see if I can find him."

"Do you want me to tell them what this is all about?" Justin asked nodding towards the interested faces that were pressed against the front window.

"Might as well. Save me the trouble," Brian said glaring at the assembled faces.

"Okay, go find Jason, and come back soon," Justin said giving Brian a kiss.

"Thanks. I hope I can reason with the boy. He was pretty pissed with me."

"You can do it," Justin said confidently.

Brian went down the steps to the Corvette and quickly pulled away. He turned the car to follow in the direction that Jason had headed. Justin took a deep breath waiting till the car had disappeared down the street before he went back inside to face the barrage of questions he knew was coming.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Debbie demanded.

"Where did Jason go?" Ted asked.

"Is Jason all right?" Emmett wanted to know.

"Are they coming back?" Hunter asked.

"Is Brian all right?" Michael questioned.

"What's going on, Justin?" Lindsay asked.

"I'll try to answer all your questions," Justin said. "Why don't we sit down? It's a long story."

"Well, fucking get started!" Debbie ordered impatient to find out what happened and what Brian's role was in all this.

"Should we go after Jason?" Emmett asked worried that the boy might have run away again.

"I think Brian will find him," Justin said. "He'll call if he does or if he finds out anything." Emmett nodded.

"How does Brian know this kid?" Melanie asked. "Why did the asshole want to talk to him alone?"

Justin sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. He suddenly understood why Brian had been dreading this moment. "It all started when Emmett volunteered at Safe Haven," Justin said.

"That's where Jason lived, right?" Hunter said.

"That's right," Justin agreed. "Then Emmett, in his inimitable fashion…" Emmett made a little curtsey at that point, along with one of his silly grins. "He asked me to come and do some art with one of the kids there."

"Jason?" Ben asked.

"No, it wasn't Jason, "Justin said. "In fact, today was the first time I ever met Jason. I went to help a little boy named Joey."

"He's a cute little kid," Emmett volunteered. "He had just arrived at Safe Haven. He had a black eye and a broken arm. They were worried about one of his kidneys too."

"Fuck!" Ted said. "I can't understand why people abuse kids?" Emmett nodded in agreement. "I can't believe people can do that kind of thing to their own child," Ted added.

Several others mumble, "Me either."

"So what does Brian fucking Kinney have to do with a home for abused kids?" Melanie demanded. She wanted some answers.

"Would you stop calling him that!" Justin reacted.

"Well, pardon me, but what the fuck is this all about?" she demanded not willing to give Brian an inch.

Emmett could see Justin's anger rising and decided that he needed to step in. "When I started volunteering at Safe Haven," he began, "I kept hearing about this guy named Andrew Patrick who was responsible for the existence of Safe Haven."

"He's the one you wanted to arrange a meeting with, isn't he?" Michael asked.

"That's right. Can you hold your questions for now? If you'll let me talk, all will be revealed," Emmett said with a sigh. Everyone stopped and nodded. "I met Jason the first day I was there and gradually talked to him. I knew he was going to have to leave Safe Haven as soon as he turned fourteen. He was very upset about that."

"He actually liked Safe Haven?" Ted asked.

Emmett nodded. "He had been there for years, and I guess compared to his own home and other places that he might have been sent it was a great place to be. One day he bolted through the house and I knew he was running away. He had been getting in all kinds of trouble. I stopped him and tried to talk to him. He asked me if I was gay."

"Like he wouldn't know," Ted said shaking his head.

"He's young and his gaydar probably hasn't developed fully," Ben said with a grin.

Emmett cleared his throat to get their attention once again. "When I told him I was, he told me that he thought he was too."

"Isn't he kind of young to know that?" Lindsay asked.

"It can happen at any age once puberty starts," Ben said knowledgeably.

"I still don't see what this has to do with that asshole who's gone after Jason," Melanie persisted.

"Jason thinks he's in love with Andrew Patrick," Emmett said ignoring Melanie's harsh words.

"Wouldn't that guy be awfully old for him?" Hunter asked with all the wisdom two years more of experience gave him over Jason.

"Andrew is … older," Emmett said. "He told Jason that. He said he would always love the boy, but that there could never be any more to it than that. He said he was already in a … relationship." Emmett glanced at Justin as he used that word. Justin gave him a little smile in response.

"So Jason ran away when he thought he was being rejected by this Andrew," Debbie explained. "On top of that he had to leave Safe Haven, the only home he's known for years. It's a fucking lot for any kid to deal with."

"Would someone for fuck sake please explain what the hell Brian asshole Kinney has to do with any of this?" Melanie interrupted.

"Brian Kinney is Andrew Patrick," Emmett stated.

Mouths dropped all around, and then there was a sudden intake of air as they all decided to breathe again.