Standing in the Light

Chapter 8

Brian turned the corner onto another street. He surveyed the road as far as he could see. There was no sign of Jason. Where could the kid be? Brian had been sure he would catch up to him in the first few minutes after he left Debbie's. He had now patrolled the whole area around Debbie's house and there was no sign of Jason anywhere.

He was starting to get worried. The more time that passed without him finding Jason meant the more distance Jason could be putting between them. If Jason had decided to run there was no telling how far he might get and how much trouble he could end up in.

Brian pulled over to the curb. Sometimes he wondered why the fuck he had ever thought he could manage Safe Haven. It had seemed like a good idea when he had started it, but he should have left it at that. He had no experience running a place like that, although Blanche did the majority of the work and decision making. He had no experience dealing with children and their problems. His only experience came from his own childhood, as an abused child.

"Fuck, Kinney, put that to use. What would you do if you had just run away from Debbie's?" Brian asked himself.

However, he had never run away from Debbie's. He had always run to Debbie's to escape the horrors of his own home. Debbie's was the safe place. Jason would go to a safe place. There was only one place that Jason had felt safe, at least only one that Brian knew about. He put the 'Vette in gear and squealed away from the curb. He knew where he was going now.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Jason stopped his bike and stared up at Safe Haven. He could feel tears right behind his eyes. He wanted to go inside and cry on Blanche's shoulder like he used to do when he was six years old. Everything had been so much simpler then. She could always make it better. Now, he knew she wouldn't be able to help him. In fact she wasn't supposed to help him. He had been kicked out of Safe Haven. No one there had any responsibility for him anymore.

And that included Andrew … or Brian … or whoever the fuck he was! He still couldn't make sense of what Andrew had told him. Only he wasn't Andrew; he was someone named Brian. And Brian had a whole other life and a … partner. That blond guy at the party had said the gift, the stereo, was from him and his partner, Brian.

What did this all mean? He didn't know. He felt like his head and his heart were going to explode. That was why he had run from Andrew … Brian. He had to think, to figure out, what the hell he was going to do.

Jason looked up at Safe Haven, up towards the room in the attic that had been his when he lived there. There was no light on in that room, but it was just barely dusk. Someone else probably had that room now, his room. His eyes dropped down the façade of the building and then something caught his attention.

He stared at the window on the floor below his room. A flickering light had caught his attention. It didn't look like the usual type of light. As he watched, a lick of flame shot up past the window and he was sure in a flash that the curtains had just caught on fire. The window was open a bit and he could clearly see smoke coming out the narrow opening.

Jason dropped his bike and raced across the street. He threw open the door of the building and screamed for Blanche. She appeared immediately from her office. Her mouth opened to ask what he was doing there.

Before she could say anything he screamed, "Fire! Call 911." He then raced up the stairs yelling in each hallway for the children to get out. Many started to scream and cry when they heard him but he tried to be as calm as he could and told them to go downstairs as quickly as they could. He knew Blanche would be down there to tell them where to go.

As he reached the third floor, he heard the alarm go off and children poured out of each room, except for one. Jason knew that was the room of the new kid, Joey. He reached the door and tried to open it. It was locked.

"Joey!" he screamed, "Joey! Let me in."

Suddenly the door opened and a frightened and smoky Joey stood in front of him.

"Joey, run downstairs. Now!" Jason yelled.

"Cheryl," Joey said looking back into the room.

Jason stepped inside and saw the curtains burning and beginning to spread to the bed. In one corner Cheryl sat huddled against the wall too frightened to move.

"I tried to put it out," Joey said, "but it kept getting bigger. Cheryl's afraid. She wouldn't help me."

"Go downstairs," Jason commanded. "I'll get Cheryl."

"Can't leave her," Joey said. "She's afraid. She needs me."

Jason looked at the room. He wanted to try to put out the fire before it got any bigger, but he knew he had to get Cheryl out of there first. He ran over to the girl and pulled her up. She was dead weight. He had seen a fireman on TV throw a person over his shoulder and carry them out of a burning building. That was what he did with Cheryl. She was only six but so heavy for him to carry. He knew it would be up to him to get her out of the building. She was completely immobilized with fear.

"Shut the door, Joey, and follow me," Jason said as he carried the little girl out of the room. Joey did as ordered. Jason thought he could hear fire sirens as he slowly made his way down the stairs. When he reached the lobby, it was empty.

"Run and open the front door for me," Jason said to Joey who responded immediately. Quickly he passed through still carrying Cheryl and found himself surrounded by Blanche and Andrew and other children.

Fire trucks began pulling up and Jason yelled, "It's on the third floor. That room," he told a fireman who then made his way into the building, having noted where Jason was pointing.

Jason looked around seeing the paramedics who had taken Cheryl from him. They were checking her over. She seemed to be whimpering and shaking, but otherwise all right. Andrew … Brian had Joey in his arms and was trying to console the little boy who was crying in fear and guilt. It would come out later that it was a candle that he and Cheryl had been playing with that had started the fire.

Brian looked up to see Jason standing by himself. Brian had been told by Blanche that Jason had run into the building and yelled at her to call 911. Brian had helped Blanche get the children organized outside, making note of all who were out of the building. Jason, Joey and Cheryl had been the last to come out.

Brian had earlier called Emmett when he had first spotted Jason's new bike lying on the sidewalk across the street from Safe Haven. He had wanted Emmett's help in reasoning with the boy. Just as he was about to end the call all hell had broken loose. The fire alarm went off and children began streaming out of the building and then the fire trucks had arrived. Finally Jason had come out carrying Cheryl with Joey trailing behind. Brian had never been so glad to see anyone.

He carried Joey over to Jason who seemed rather lost. Jason was standing under a street lamp looking slightly bewildered. When Brian approached he held out his hand and Jason walked into the one armed embrace. Joey buried his face against Brian's neck and whimpered. Jason held on to Andrew for dear life.

"It's all right, Joey," Jason said holding on to Andrew … Brian and never wanting to let go.

"I'm so proud of you, Jason," Brian said squeezing the boy tight. "You saved Joey and Cheryl."

"Cheryl wouldn't come with me," Joey mumbled against Brian's throat. "She wouldn't help me stop the fire."

"It's over now," Brian said, "thanks to Jason."

Jason looked up at Andrew, who he had to start calling Brian, and smiled. He felt like he was really part of Brian's family now. Somehow it seemed like everything would be all right after this. He had proved something to himself and to Brian and it had resolved some of the conflicting feelings they had been dealing with. Jason basked in Brian's approval. For the first time in a long time Brian held the boy and showed him that he loved him, not in a romantic or sexual way, but in an always kind of way. They held onto each other as the street light came on in the gathering dusk.

"Brian," Justin's voice said out of the gloom.

Brian looked up to see Justin approaching. Emmett was right behind him, followed by the rest of his strange little family. Brian released Jason who ran to Emmett for a hug. Debbie soon had them both engulfed in a giant embrace. Justin replaced Jason hugging Brian and talking softly to Joey who was still very upset about his part in the fire.

Blanche approached with a fireman. "Andrew," she said to Brian and the whole family stared at Brian in wonder as he stood in the illumination of the street lamp. "The chief says that the fire is out. It was contained in Joey's room. It's pretty well a write-off but the rest of the house is fine. There's not even much smoke damage. We caught it quickly thanks to Jason."

All eyes turned towards Jason who looked at the ground not sure what to say or do.

The fire chief spoke up, "Is this the young man who sounded the alarm and got the children out?" Jason nodded shyly. "You did an excellent job, young man. And closing the door to that room kept the fire from spreading."

"Joey shut the door," Jason said.

"You told me to," Joey responded still hanging on Brian's neck.

"I think Jason is a hero," Brian said smiling at the young boy who held on to Emmett for support.

"I think maybe he should be nominated for one of our awards," the fire chief said.

"He's got my vote," Brian agreed. "Are we going to be able to house the kids here tonight?" he asked the man.

"The damage is limited to the one room. We're cleaning up and have fans blowing the smoke out now. You should be able to go back inside in about an hour."

"Thanks, chief," Brian said.

"You were very lucky. That fire could have gotten much bigger. I hate to think what that would have meant." The chief walked over to Jason and shook his hand. He got the boy's name before moving back to supervise the cleanup.

"It's been an eventful day," Justin said reaching up to kiss Brian's cheek.

"That it has, Sunshine. That it has."

"Are you going to have to stay here?" Justin asked.

"I think I should stay until we get the children settled back in. Blanche could use some help."

"I'll stay with you," Justin said.

"Thanks," Brian said. He would be very glad of Justin's company and support.

"Brian," Debbie's voice interrupted. "Emmett and I are going to take Jason back home. He never got to finish his birthday."

"That's a good idea. Can you take everyone else with you too?" Brian asked glancing over at the others who watched curiously seemingly afraid to approach Brian.

"I'll see what I can do," Debbie said as she kissed him on the cheek. "I'm proud of you, kiddo."

Brian looked away. Justin could tell he was a little choked up. "Thanks, Deb," Justin said.

She gave him a kiss too. "Come over when this is all cleaned up," she said.

Neither gave a response. Debbie turned and walked over to Emmett and Jason. They could soon hear her directing them back to the cars to return to her place. Michael and Hunter waved as they walked away. So did Lindsay as she pulled Melanie along with her. Melanie looked pissed. Ted shook his head as he walked away. Justin could see a strange little smile on his face. Soon they were all gone.

"Cheryl," Joey said lifting his head and looking for the little girl.

"Shall we go see how she's doing?" Brian asked. Joey nodded his head vigorously. Still holding the little boy, who wasn't really so little, Brian walked over to the ambulance where they had been looking at Cheryl. "Does she need to go to the hospital?" Brian asked.

"I don't think so," the paramedic said. "She may have inhaled a bit of smoke, but she's more scared than anything else. Doesn't talk much though."

"That's how she is on the best of days," Brian said.

"She talks to me," Joey said emphatically.

"I know, pal," Justin said holding on to the boy's hand.

"Is she all right?" Joey asked.

"She's just fine," Brian said.

"Can I stay with Cheryl?" Joey asked.

Brian looked at the paramedic who smiled and shrugged. Brian set Joey down on the step of the ambulance and he climbed in to hold Cheryl's hand. She smiled gratefully at him.

"They'll be fine, Andrew," Blanche said coming up behind Brian and Justin.

"Aren't you the young man who came to do art with Joey?" Blanche asked taking a closer look at Justin.

"Justin Taylor," he said nodding his head.

"How do you know Andrew?"

"I've known him for a long time," Justin said proudly.

"I need to talk to you about some things, Blanche, after we get all this settled and back to normal," Brian said. Justin's arm around Brian's waist squeezed, knowing what that talk would be about.

Blanche nodded. "The chief says we can start moving the children back in. Can you help me get them settled? They're still kind of scared."

"Let's take them into the playroom and you can have a chat about what happened," Brian suggested.

"Milk and cookies is always good too," Justin added.

"Smart lad," Blanche said looking Justin up and down. Justin could tell she was sizing him up and wondering about what he was doing there with Andrew.

They began calling to the children who were sitting in small groups along the curb down the street from Safe Haven. They all moved inside and Blanche worked her motherly wiles on the assembled group. She explained what had happened and told them how Jason had helped and had done all the right things to prevent the fire from getting any worse. Justin served them milk and cookies. Brian went around speaking to each child and trying to reassure them. Soon they began to make their way up to their rooms, all except Cheryl and Joey.

"I don't have a room anymore," Joey said forlornly standing in front of Brian.

"That's right," Brian said rather harshly. Justin gave him a look. "You, and Cheryl, must never ever play with candles or matches again. Do you understand?"

Joey nodded and Cheryl did likewise. "Where will I sleep?" Joey asked trying not to cry. "Are you going to send me away because I was bad?"

"No, we're not sending you anywhere," Brian stated leaning down to give the boy a hug. "Do you think you could make do with a sleeping bag in Cheryl's room for a few nights?"

Joey looked at Brian with large eyes. "Could I?" he asked. "Cheryl's scared to be alone … and so am I."

"Then I think that's what you should do," Brian said. "Go tell Blanche. She has a sleeping bag for you."

Joey gave Brian a hug and then as an afterthought gave one to Justin too. Cheryl followed suit and they both ran over to Blanche happy to be together and not to be in too much trouble.

"You handled that perfectly, Brian," Justin said leaning against his partner.

"Thanks," Brian said kissing his cheek.

"Are you ready to go back to Debbie's?"

"Do we have to?"

"Let's just get it over with," Justin said wearily.

"I fucking hate this kind of crap!"

"I know," Justin said as they made their way out to the car. He knew all too well how Brian felt about emotions, about having people make a fuss over him, about how their family might have to readjust their view of Brian. It would be embarrassing for him, and he could be extremely upset if they questioned him in a negative way. For all Brian's bravado he basically liked to keep things the way they were. He didn't like surprises or change. Christ, he had fought Justin for years trying to avoid changing his beliefs and bullshit mantras.

The drive back to Debbie's was completed in silence. Neither one of them wanted to think about what awaited them there, and yet that was all either could think about. Brian pulled the car into a spot near Debbie's.

"Ready?" Justin asked.

"No."

"Me either, but let's get it over with."

They got out of the car and walked up the steps. Brian took a deep breath and pushed the door open. All talking ceased and there was that deafening silence that you often read about.

"Brian!" Jason called and ran to give him a hug. That broke the deadlock and everybody started talking at once.

"Should we call you Brian or Andrew? How long have you been doing this? Why didn't you tell us? Trust you to keep something like this a secret. Who would have ever thought? Were you ever going to tell us? Does this mean we have to show you more respect?"

That last question startled Brian and he turned to stare at Melanie who had asked it. "I wouldn't expect one iota of fucking respect from you, Mel, so don't expect any from me," Brian stated. There was no humor in his voice.

"You really are like Rage," Hunter said. "You have a whole secret identity and are out there saving little kids."

"Please," Brian replied. Justin was sure it was meant to sound sarcastic, but it actually sounded like a plea for them to stop. Justin decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Let's sit down," he began. "Is there any birthday cake left? I'm starving."

"Some things never change," Debbie said with a smile and a chuck of Justin's chin. He smiled back knowing she meant more than his appetite. Her opinion of Brian would never change and she wouldn't treat him any differently. He was grateful for that.

"Jason wouldn't let us have any cake until you two got here," Emmett said. "So I'll go bring it out now."

They all sat down in the living room. Nobody started talking or questioning Brian immediately. He looked around at them. He knew he should say something but for once he was at a loss for words. He wished he could think of something appropriately snarky to say.

"Are the kids all right?" Lindsay asked suddenly.

"They're all fine. They were scared but Blanche calmed them down," Brian replied.

"That's good," Lindsay said. "Do they know how the fire started?"

"One of the kids was playing with a candle and it caught the curtains on fire," Justin offered.

"Jason was the hero of the hour," Brian added looking fondly at the boy. Jason blushed and tried to sink into the background. "You'll be in safe hands having him here, Deb."

"I fucking know that. He's a gem," she said smiling at her new adopted son, another of her lost boys, now found.

"We read your book, Brian," Michael said.

"What book?" Brian asked with a frown.

"This one," Lindsay said holding up the binder Justin had brought and had shared with them before they went to the fire at Safe Haven. Brian glowered at Justin. "I particularly liked this letter," Lindsay said reading from a sheet in the binder. "Dear Andrew, I was scared before I came here. Now I know nobody will hurt me. Thank you for Safe Haven. I love you. Angela."

"I remember Angela," Jason said. "She left a couple of years ago."

"She's doing really well in high school. I hope she will go on to college," Brian said softly.

"You keep track of them after they leave Safe Haven?" Melanie asked surprised.

"Of course, I do. Am I just supposed to fucking forget them when they turn fourteen?" Brian looked at Jason as he said that and they both smiled.

"Well, I just can't get my mind around this," Ted admitted.

"Then don't," Brian stated. "I'm still the same asshole you all know … and love." He planted his tongue firmly in his cheek.

"Happy birthday to you," Emmett began singing as he carried Jason's lighted birthday cake into the living room. They all joined him in finishing the song. Jason blew out the candles and Debbie started cutting the cake. Emmett began serving coffee.

"Just coffee for me," Brian said.

"Of course," Melanie said. "No carbs or fat after seven. Some things never change."

"I've heard that a lot today," Brian replied philosophically, even though almost everything had changed for him.

"He'll nibble off my piece anyway," Justin grinned.

"Twat," Brian said with a smile knowing Justin was right.

"So things don't change," Justin said seriously looking at Brian.

"And that's just the way I like it," Brian said looking around the room and hoping they all got the message that he didn't want to be treated any differently than he always was. He wanted them to forget about his role at Safe Haven and just think of him as the old Brian Kinney, or maybe that should be, as the new and improved Brian Andrew Patrick Kinney.

Justin popped a piece of the birthday cake into Brian's mouth and everyone laughed. It was nice to be back to normal.