Chapter 33

Another three weeks later, the big day had finally arrived. The doctors had deemed Vicky well enough to release her from the neonatal ward and to let her go home with her fathers.

Four months after she had been born, she had finally gained enough weight and had grown enough to be allowed to go home.

In recent weeks Brian and Justin had made sure to bring Gus and Luke as often as they could and by now the boys had gotten really good with her. They had both fed her and changed her diapers (though neither boy had seemed particularly impressed with that) and had bonded with her ever since they had been allowed to see her for the first time.

At home things had also returned to normal more and more with Brian slowly gaining back some of the weight he had lost during the chemotherapy and looking less and less like a walking ghost. He still hadn't reached his old weight, he still looked paler than usual, but as far as Justin was concerned, Brian already looked a lot better than he had just two months ago when he had been at the height of his chemotherapy.

Thanks to additional physiotherapy sessions, now that he was stronger and feeling better, Brian's breathing and lung capacity had also improved and he had been able to get rid of the much hated nasal cannula. He still had supplementary oxygen at home in case he needed it or got out of breath, which would sometimes happen at the end of long days when he hadn't made sure to take the breaks his body still needed or when he had done something he shouldn't have, like play soccer with Luke, but most days he seemed to cope fine now without the supplementary oxygen and he seemed to get by well with his lower lung capacity.

It had been a challenge to get Brian to listen to his body and to the signs it was giving him. Brian had never been an easy patient and Justin wasn't surprised that this time was no different. Brian hated being sick, hated not being at the top of his strength and most of all he hated admitting anything that could be seen as weakness.

His doctors had warned him that between the toll the chemotherapy and surgery had taken on him and the toll of his now decreased lung function, it would take his body some time to get back to where it had been when he had been healthy. They had warned him that he would tire more easily and needed to give himself time for more breaks. In typical Brian Kinney fashion, he had however ignored their advice, because really, what did doctors know, right? - and had gone just ahead as always, claiming that he didn't need breaks and was doing fine when everyone could see that he wasn't.

In the end it had taken a trip to the emergency room because he had been short of breath and hadn't been able to get his breathing back under control and a stern warning from Justin to get him to see that he needed to listen to his body and needed to give it the time to heal that it demanded. After everything Brian had been through in recent months, he couldn't just go on as he had before.

Thankfully that trip to the emergency room had been a wake up call for Brian and he had realised that maybe the doctors weren't so wrong after all. He had apologised to Justin for scaring him and had promised to do better.

And he had: He hadn't been back to the office once, had only replied to a handful of emails that were work related so far and mostly spent his hours taking it easy and spending time with Justin and his kids whenever possible.

Everyone knew that this change of pace wasn't easy on Brian, so they tried to be as patient as they could be whenever he got into a mood, but mostly things had improved a lot in recent weeks.

Between spending time at the hospital and trying to spend some quality time with Gus and Luke to make up for any missed time in recent months, there hadn't been much time for anything else anyway.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” Justin asked, looking around the room, giving it one last glance to make sure that they had packed all of Vicky's belongings and not forgotten anything.

“You have no idea,” Brian muttered, gently cradling his daughter in his arms, looking at her rosy cheeks as she happily made spit bubbles.

“Yeah, I won't miss this place either,” Justin agreed, before he grabbed the bag with the last of their stuff and headed for the door.

They stopped to say a quick goodbye to some of the nurses that they had become well acquainted with in recent months, then made their way to their car.

By the time they had reached the car and gotten Vicky secured in the car seat, she had fallen asleep, making both Justin and Brian smile.

“This is the most exciting day of her life so far and she sleeps? I can't believe it,” Justin chuckled as he looked from Vicky to Brian, then leaned in for a quick kiss before he and Brian got into the car as well.

“She is your daughter. She can fall asleep anywhere at anytime. It's a rare talent.”

“Now she is my daughter?” Justin raised an eyebrow. “I'll remind you the next time she spits all over me and demands to be held by you.”

Brian winked as he started the car. “You know how it goes. It always depends on the circumstances...”

“Pfft,” Justin just snorted, then rested his hand on Brian's thigh as they left the hospital parking lot. “I hope this will be the last time we'll see this parking lot,” he said quietly, knowing that he wouldn't miss coming to the hospital day in and out at all.

“I hate to break it to you, Sunshine, but with three children, two boys and a baby, I doubt we have seen the last of it.”

“Well, lets just hope we won't be back any time soon,” Justin muttered, then turned to Brian, looking at him closely.

“What?” Brian asked after a while, when Justin still seemed to stare at him without saying anything.

“I think it's starting to come back,” the younger man said, running his hand over Brian's cheek and his chin.

“What?”

“Your hair. I think it's starting to come back.”

“Okay, did you see something I didn't see?”

“Nah, but your skin feels different. I don't know. Just... like it might come back soon.”

Brian turned to look at Justin when they had to stop at a red light and eyed him as if he had lost it completely now. “Okay...”

“Trust me, it's coming back,” the blond just repeated, running his hand over Brian's cheek once more. “I know your body.”

“That you do,” Brian agreed, still not sure if he trusted Justin's assessment or not. The doctors had told them that it would be a couple of weeks, maybe months after the chemotherapy had ended before the hair would start to grow out again, so neither of them was particularly surprised that it hadn't happened yet. They knew it would come, they just needed to give it time.

Not that Brian had ever been a particularly patient man, but he had learned in recent weeks that rushing his body wasn't gonna do him or his body any good and at the end of the day, Justin loved him. Hair or not, so what difference did a couple of weeks make? He wasn't particularly fond of his bald look and still tried to hide it under a hat or cap whenever they left the house, but after everything they had been through in recent months, the loss of his hair was definitely one of the least of their problems.

“Any idea about something else coming back to life?” Brian asked, nodding at his crotch, leaving no doubt what he was talking about.

Brian's dick was still out of commission and hadn't come back to life yet and once again the doctors had told them that that was normal and they needed to give it time. Brian knew from his first time having cancer that it had taken some time back then as well, but he was really starting to get annoyed. He felt fine, better than he had in months and he really, really wanted to fuck Justin. He really missed burying his dick in that tight ass. It wasn't like they hadn't found other ways to satisfy each other in the meantime, but it just wasn't the same as a good old-fashioned fuck.

“I am sure it will be soon,” Justin replied, giving Brian's thigh a squeeze. “You need to give it time.”

“As long as you don't try to poison me with any weird Chinese concoctions again,” Brian smirked, making Justin laugh.

“Hey, it was worth a try.”

“Maybe I should pay a visit to dear old Joan. That seems to have done the trick the last time,” Brian mused.

“Does she know?” Justin asked, wondering if Brian had talked to his mother at all. As far as he was aware, he hadn't, but maybe he just hadn't told him. It wouldn't be the first time Brian wouldn't share something about his family. His family had always been a sore point with Brian and Justin knew that Brian liked to pretend that his mother, sister and her sons didn't exist.

“That I can't get it up? How would she? Though I am sure she would light a candle in thanks to God for making me impotent,” Brian muttered, the anger clear to hear in his voice. Hearing his partner's anger, Justin regretted that he had followed up that line of conversation when Brian had mentioned his mother. He should have probably just let it go.

“You're not impotent, Brian,” Justin said calmly, resting his hand on Brian's arm and giving it a squeeze. “We know what's happening and why and we know it'll go away.”

Brian didn't say anything and just continued staring at the road ahead.

“I meant, does she know about you being sick,” Justin then went on, wondering if it wouldn't have been better to change the topic.

“If Debbie didn't tell her, I doubt it,” Brian shrugged.

“Does she know about Luke? Or Vicky?” Justin wondered, not sure himself why he wasn't able to just let it go.

Brian just repeated his earlier statement. “If Debbie didn't tell her, I doubt it.”

“When's the last time you've spoken to her?”

“When she told me that I deserved to get cancer for being gay and that it was God's punishment,” Brian said, trying to sound calm, but the tremor in his voice betrayed his real feelings and Justin knew Brian well enough to hear the hurt in his voice.

“It's her loss. She doesn't know what a great man you are and what a great family you have,” Justin said seriously, leaning over and kissing Brian's cheek gently. “She's probably all alone and has alienated everyone around her while you're surrounded by people that love you.”

Brian nodded, but Justin could feel the rigid set of his shoulders.

“I am sorry,” he said quietly. “I shouldn't have asked.”

“It's okay,” Brian said quietly. “I am the one that brought her up. It's my own fault.”

“And I am the one that pressed for answers even though I know how much you hate talking about her,” Justin sighed, looking at the road ahead.

“Don't,” Brian said, reaching out his hand to now squeeze Justin's thigh. “Don't blame yourself or any such bullshit. You have every right to ask. And I am the one that brought her up. It's okay. I am okay.”

“Are you sure?” Justin asked and Brian could easily hear the concern in his voice.

He nodded, as he turned the car onto the lane that led to Britin. “I am. I don't like talking about her because... it reminds me of things I'd much rather not think about, but that's all in the past and happened a long time ago and... it doesn't matter anymore. And most importantly not today. Not today when we finally take our daughter home and celebrate with our real family.”

“Jeez, how many people did Emmett invite?” Justin gasped when he saw all the cars in their driveway.

“I thought it was just gonna be family,” Brian muttered, looking at all the cars in surprise as well.

“I know that mom, Molly, Debbie and Carl, Ted and Blake and Emmett and Drew will be there. Are we expecting anyone else?”

Brian shrugged, wondering the same. He knew that Daphne would be there, which would be a surprise for Justin as he thought that she had to work and couldn't get the time off, but that still left two more cars in their driveway that he couldn't account for. “No idea.”

“Well, only one way to find out,” Justin opened the door once Brian had parked and made his way to the back of the car to get the bags.

Brian made his way over to Vicky and her car seat and carefully got it out of the car. He turned to Justin, raising an eyebrow. “Is it wrong that I wish it was just us and the boys?”

“I know...,” Justin agreed, not really feeling like a huge family celebration either, but knowing that this was the least they could do to thank everyone for all the help they had received from them in recent months. Their family had really stepped up and had helped them so much by taking care of the boys, by being at the hospital when needed, by staying with Brian when he had his bad days, by making sure that there was always food in the fridge. Sharing the moment of Vicky coming home for good with them was the least they owed them in thanks.

“What is a reasonable time to start kicking them out?” Brian mused as he headed for the front door. “Is half an hour too early?”

“Brian,” Justin hissed, gently hitting Brian's shoulder.

“Hey, I am carrying your daughter. No hitting me,” Brian defended, holding up the car seat as if to prove his point.

“Our daughter,” Justin corrected, as he caught up with Brian and Vicky and leaned in for a quick kiss.

“Our daughter,” Brian agreed into the kiss, then rested his forehead against Justin's. “Ready?”

“Ready,” Justin nodded, before he opened the door, not surprised to find all their family members standing in the hallway waiting for them.

“Jeez, how long does it take you to make it from your car to the house?” Debbie groused good-naturedly, making everyone gathered around laugh.

“We were wondering if running away and never coming back was an option,” Brian quipped. “But then we remembered that Gus and Luke were caught here, so we decided against it.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Gus snorted, before he came over and carefully took the car seat from his father. “Hi, baby girl. Did you survive the trip home with those two?” He started talking to the little girl that seemed to still sleep through all the turmoil.

Being the proud big brother that he was, Gus took it upon himself to show off his baby sister to everyone gathered in the hallway.

Justin leaned into Brian's side and smiled at the scene, his smile growing wider when he felt Brian's arms wrap around his waist.

While he watched Gus showing off Vicky, he noticed everyone in the group that was gathered in their hallway and he did a double-take when he saw his best friend smiling back at him, looking at him as if she was just waiting for him to finally see her. “Daphne!” He exclaimed, then turned away from Brian's side and lunged at his best friend.

They hugged for what felt like an eternity, excitingly chattering. Daphne explained that there was no way in hell she would have missed her goddaughter coming home from the hospital and Justin cursed her for not having told him that she would be there.

“Surprise!” Brian said as he made his way over to them, laughing as Justin turned to look at him from wide eyes.

“You knew?”

“Of course. I know everything,” Brian boasted with a laugh.

“If you knew about this, you'd have to be a psychic,” Emmett said, pointing to the two people standing next to him and Drew.

“Ben? Hunter?” Justin exclaimed, as he made his way over to welcome their friends.

“What are you doing here?” Brian asked as he followed his partner.

“We were in the area and Debbie told us about little Victoria coming home today and she kind of forced us to come to the party. You know how she is.”

Both men just nodded, knowing how persuasive Debbie could be.

“It's good to see you,” Justin said as he hugged both men, not having seen them for almost a year and a half since they had last been in Pittsburgh.

Brian greeted both as well, then turned to Justin and Emmett. “Okay, you got me on that one.”

Emmett looked particularly happy, then ushered everyone into the living-room where drinks and refreshments were waiting.

Once they got into the living-room, Brian stopped in his tracks. “Honeycutt! What the fuck did you do to our house?”

The living-room was a sea of pink and white balloons, pink garlands and everything else that seemed to be available as far as pink decorations seemed to go. The whole living-room had been turned into a pink heaven. If you liked pink. Which Brian most definitely didn't.

“My name is not Honeycutt. And it's called decorating, honey,” Emmett said jovially as he clapped Brian on the shoulder, then rushed past him, hiding behind the table, pretending to serve drinks to the guests, but clearly hiding from Brian's wrath.

“Do you like it, Daddy?” Luke appeared at Brian's side and looked up at him happily. “I helped Auntie Em. We were busy all morning.”

“I can only imagine,” Brian muttered, before forcing a smile on his face as he turned to Luke. “It's very... pink.”

“I know, right? Because Vicky is a girl and girls like pink. As does Auntie Em.”

“I bet,” Brian muttered, still throwing glares at Emmett, who hadn't yet made his way back in their direction. “You did very well,” Brian finally forced himself to say, knowing that Luke liked it and was waiting for his father's approval.

“God, what happened in here?” Justin muttered about a minute later when he finally made his way into the living-room as well, having finished his conversation with Ben and Hunter. “It looks like...,” he was clearly trying to find the right words.

“Like a big, gay, pink bomb exploded in our house.”

“Yeah, kind of,” he laughed, seeing the pinched expression on Brian's face.

“He better clean that up before he leaves or I'll...,”

“Kick his ass?” Justin finished for him and Brian could only nod.

“I'll gladly help. This is a bit much.”

“A bit?” Brian raised an eyebrow, looking at Justin as if he had lost his mind.

“Where is Vicky? Maybe some hugs from our princess will make you feel better,” Justin suggested, hoping to be able to keep Brian from killing Emmett at any point during the day.

“The grandmothers,” the older man just said, nodding towards the sofa where Debbie and Jennifer sat, Debbie holding little Vicky in her arms, both of them gushing about what a beautiful baby their granddaughter was to anyone who passed them.

“At least she seems to enjoy the attention,” Justin noted, nodding in the direction of their daughter who was taking everything in from big, wide eyes, obviously having woken up in the meantime.

“My daughter after all,” Brian boasted proudly which made Justin laugh.

“You're incorrigible.”

“It's why you love me,” Brian whispered, pulling Justin close, holding the younger man in his arms as he watched his family in his living-room.

“One of the reasons,” Justin admitted, leaning into Brian's chest.

“Do you think it's too early to kick them all out?” Brian whispered after about two minutes of them just enjoying their hug and watching their family interact.

“I am afraid so. You'll have to endure some more.”

In the end, the family had stayed for two more hours, before everyone started making their excuses, knowing that the family wanted and needed to spent some time alone.

It had been a nice celebration to welcome the youngest member of the family home and as much as Brian had groused, he had secretly enjoyed being surrounded by his family. Especially after the conversation that he and Justin had had in the car. These were the people that were his family, the people that loved him and cared about him and had always been there for him, no matter what. They were his real family, not his mother, who was just that in name, but not in meaning. These people gathered in his living-room were his family, no one else.

And he was secretly grateful for each and every one of them. Not that he would ever tell them or let them know.