ALEX WILDER

I agreed to hear Deb and Brian out since I'd been witnessing Michael's performances all over town. It was hard not to be curious about Michael running all over, talking about the past as if he was still living in it. It really wouldn't have surprised me if he was having a mental breakdown. Michael linked his identity to Brian from the time he was fourteen, and as long as Brian remained unattached all was right in Michael's world. It was something that didn't change even when Michael found other partners or when Brian left, blocking Michael from his life. Michael still identified himself as Brian's ‘best friend' and his loyalty to Brian came before his partners or anything else. 

I could see Michael not being able to cope with the idea that Brian was moving on in his life with Justin Taylor. Michael might have played nice to Justin, but under the nice boy image he projected, anyone could see the jealousy Michael tried to hide. Because Justin had a hold on Brian that Michael coveted. I'll admit I even thought Brian and Justin broke up for good since I wasn't sure how Brian could move Michael into the home that he bought for Justin unless he saw the relationship with Justin over permanently. After hearing the gossip about Michael and Brian, then having Michael proudly proclaim that Brian came to his senses and picked him, I honestly wanted to shake Brian and ask him if he understood what he was doing. I stayed out of it because Brian wouldn't have listened to me or anyone at that time. 

All I saw at that time was Brian using his old pain management methods to cope with the loss of the only man he ever loved. I saw what happened between Michael and Brian as Brian mourning the loss of Justin, not what Michael wanted to believe, which was Brian finally giving in to his feelings for Michael. Which Brian and I talked about over drinks after what happened with Justin and Gus. Brian admitted the night he spent with Michael was a blur of booze and drugs, only to wake up and realize what he'd done and how Justin would react to it. Which showed how well Brian knew Justin because his reaction was exactly what Brian told me it would be. It was then that I started to study Michael's behavior and started to see things he did in a different light. Brian didn't stop tricking while with Michael, and Michael pretended he didn't care as long as they were the kind of men Brian went after in the past. Anyone that bore any resemblance to Justin, Michael ran off. Michael didn't understand why Brian would want Justin, and he didn't realize looking like Justin wouldn't have been enough for Brian. It confused most of Liberty Avenue too, the idea that this blond kid held Brian Kinney's attention when he was the opposite of everything Brian looked for at the clubs. Michael didn't get what I did, Brian didn't want attachments, didn't want to be trapped the way his parents were with each other. Brian picked men he was attracted to but had no interest in, beyond getting off. They didn't see beyond the stud and his reputation, which would have made Justin different from the start. Justin had no idea who Brian was when they met and didn't let anyone else's opinions stop him from trying to find the real Brian Kinney. For Brian, it must have been like a breath of fresh air to be with someone and not have to live up to the reputation that seemed to be his only worth in this world. 

It's why I thought Brian hadn't pursued anything with Michael in all the years they were friends. Brian spent his life with a mother, watching as she clung to her husband, offering excuses for everything he did. Michael spent their friendship doing the same thing Brian hated about his mother. Just like his mother, Michael was able to stay in Brian's life using the same things Brian hated about her. Brian projected uncaring bastard to the world, hiding behind it to protect himself when he cared too much to turn his back on people. It's why Michael stayed in his life for so long. Brian found acceptance with Michael's family and in return felt he owed it to Deb and Vic to take care of Michael. It was a debt that Michael collected on constantly, and one Deb unfortunately used on Brian to have someone to blame for her own son's issues.

I continued to watch Michael as he got frustrated that most of the crowd didn't react to Brian Kinney's name the way they would have in the past, wanting to know everything about the Stud of Liberty Avenue. Michael got worse and started ranting, and suddenly the crowds' interest changed, but not the way Michael wanted. 

"Aren't you the asshole who said shit about your kid?" A large bear asked, approaching Michael.

"Yeah, the asshole was pathetic as hell, begging his mommy to help him," Another guy jeered.

Michael looked around the room as the crowd got louder, before getting up and running out when the confused puppy dog eyes didn't work on the angry crowd. I called Deb to warn her, and she, in turn, told me Brian wanted to talk to me. I laughed as Brian walked into my office with Deb and a man I didn't know since it's the one place he told me he'd never come.

"Yeah, I told myself that hell finally thawed out, so here I am," Brian smirks. "This is Gus's partner, Dr Ian Holdings." 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I've read a few of your case studies," I say, impressed.

"I heard good things about you as well," Ian says, shaking my hand.

"Ian made me reevaluate my opinion on the head shrinking industry," Brian jokes.

"Thank you, Dad," Ian jokes, as they sit down.

"I'm assuming this is about Michael?" I ask. "By the way, congratulations," I tell Brian while I waited for someone to tell me why they wanted to talk.

"The twat finally gave in," Brian shrugs.

Deb swatted playfully at Brian, before looking back at me. She shook her head, before telling me why they came to me. "Yes, it's about Michael, and him running around trying to convince someone he's crazy, thinking it will get Brian back in his life." 

"Which he's getting, since you're sitting in my office," I say, looking at Brian in my office.

"There are other reasons I willingly showed up, which have nothing to do with Michael. Gus and Ian are in the process of trying to get custody of Jenny; Michael and Melanie Marcus's daughter. Otherwise, I'd be home with Justin and our other son Patrick, planning the wedding," Brian tells me.

"Are you sure it's an act on Michael's part? It would make sense he'd snap as all his hopes and dreams wouldn't be realized," I tell them.

"I wish it was true. Michael is only repeating what he thinks Lindsay Peterson did to get Brian to go running back to Justin," Deb tells me, which didn't clear up anything since I only knew that Lindsay left years ago.

"I brought this with Lindsay and Justin's permission so you would understand what Michael is trying to do," Ian tells me, handing me a file.

I opened it, reading all about Lindsay's life until now, and tried to imagine how much abuse it would have taken for Lindsay to snap to the point where she had to find a place in her mind to go to get away from the memories. "It says she's doing better lately," I comment, closing the folder.

"She had a bad night last night, it's why Gus and Justin aren't here today, but for the most part, we're seeing progress more than setbacks. It's also why we wanted to talk to you, to get you on board to help us." Brian tells me.

"I won't treat him just to indulge him," I tell them.

"I agree with you, but in this case, it's his daughter who we're concerned about. Like I said earlier, Gus and I want to get custody of Jenny and limit access by the people causing issues in her life. I just don't trust the two people who caused Lindsay to retreat from the world, with Jenny's welfare in their hands," Ian tells me.

"It's why Mel had me up her ass about anything concerning Gus," Brian tells me.

"I have to ask, why did you allow Mel to keep custody of Gus? Understand I'm not judging you. I just want to understand what's changed that has Ian concerned for Jenny," I ask Brian.

"Gus already had a huge upheaval with Lindsay leaving, and Justin couldn't devote the time he once could to Gus, and the move made it harder for me to be there. Gus didn't give me a reason to be concerned about Mel, other than not liking Canada. He never indicated to anyone that Mel was anything but a loving mother to him. I didn't question Gus' unwillingness to talk about Lindsay, since to me it made sense he wouldn't want to, and he didn't tell me what Mel was saying about Lindsay out of loyalty to her for sticking around when Lindsay left him, " Brian tells me.

"Gus didn't have any real problems with Mel until he refused to go to college where she wanted him to and started blaming Brian for his choice of New York. That's when Gus told me things changed for him with Mel. He couldn't understand why she blamed Brian when Gus was the one who made the choice, without consulting his father. It got worse when Gus started seeing me, and we eventually moved in together. She didn't want him involved with me, because she couldn't bend me to her will. Gus maintains a relationship, or more like truce with Mel, for his sister. He ignored Mel's constant criticism of anything she didn't approve of in his life, but it also changed their relationship, because Gus was seeing things she hadn't done to him before. His concern for Jenny's welfare isn't just about finding out both of his parents kept the truth about Lindsay from him. He's concerned because Mel is on a downward spiral and it's affecting Jenny. I hate to say it because none of us want it to be true, but Jenny is also Mel's sole source of income right now," Ian tells me.

"She changed her tune and told Jenny they could live here, but then used it as a threat to get Jenny to do what she wanted," Deb adds.

"That's not the way to get Jenny to do anything," Ian tells us.

"Do what I want or else," I commented.

"Her go-to when things don't go the way she wants them. Lindsay didn't do what Mel wanted. I doubt Lindsay's betrayal will be anything in comparison to Jenny's refusal to do what Mel wants," Brian tells us. 

"What do you want me to do?" I ask.

"To be willing to take Michael on as a patient," Brian says, confirming what I hoped they wouldn't ask.

"I won't play some game with Michael. If he sees me, I'm going to treat him," I tell them. 

"For what, never growing up?" Deb asks.

"From years of watching Michael and seeing the way he operates, he shows all the signs of Obsessive Love Disorder. His attraction to Brian eclipses everything in his life. His thoughts all center around Brian. Just his past way of dealing with anyone who tried to get close to Brian; warning them that they could never have Brian, being extremely jealous of any interpersonal interactions Brian had that weren't with him, and using Brian to boost his low self-esteem by living through Brian are all symptoms of the disorder." I tell them.

"People with OLD as it's called, don't take rejection easily and need to find a reason, other than that their obsession didn't love them," Ian tells them.

"More signs are repeated or excessive texts, emails, and phone calls. Friendships suffering because friends don't support the obsession. The person monitors the actions of their obsession to the point it could be considered stalking and wants to control everything in the other person's life, including befriending anyone that he sees as a threat to his relationship with his obsession," I tell them.

"Which they do in hopes to undermine the relationship while playing the dutiful friend to the obsession," Ian tells them.

"Why should I give a shit about this?" Brian asks us.

"Brian, it works to show that Michael wouldn't have Jenny's best interest at heart no matter who he supports in the custody hearing," Ian tells him.

"How?" Deb asks.

"OLD's patients are consumed by their obsession to the point where nothing matters to them; not spouses, siblings, parents, or even their own children," I tell them.

"It sounds like we're finding more excuses for Michael," Brian comments.

"It doesn't excuse anything he did. He understands right from wrong, the only problem is getting him to agree to see Alex before he finds out something he won't like after agreeing he has OLDs." Ian tells him.

"Which I guess means it will be up to me to get him here and willing to accept Alex's help," Brian says, looking irritated.

"Yes. Since Michael won't come willingly unless it's to gain access to you. Only we have to be careful because he can't be led to believe you return any feelings towards him. You need to continue to show him that you've moved on with Justin. Michael will still think he can find a way to get you to see it his way, and hopefully be willing to do anything to get you to change your mind. Which is where I can come in, listen to both of you and offer you an appointment to help. What surprises me is, if Michael has this disorder, that he hasn't aimed it at Justin the way most patients would." I tell Brian.

"Michael sent Justin a storyline right before Justin and I broke up again. In it he has JT, the character that was modeled after Justin, dying from a bashing, Justin ignored it because he thought it was because he wasn't willing to do the comic anymore. It wasn't the first time Michael said something like that. Only, the other time he said it to me, not liking that Justin was still included in group functions," Brian tells me.

"Brian hit him for it," Deb mentions.

"But the next day I went to see him, letting it go. Also denying I loved Justin to him. Wouldn't Michael have seen that as proof I wanted him, by forgiving him for saying that awful shit?" Brian asks.

"If you told him you loved Justin, Michael could have tried to make his words a reality. In a strange way, you keeping your life with Justin from everyone was probably the reason Michael left Justin alone all these years," Ian tells him.

"What happens when I marry Justin?" Brian asks us.

"He'll likely give us reasons to admit him to a facility, where he won't be released until I feel he isn't a danger to himself or anyone else. While I know none of you think Michael is dangerous, if he has this disorder, like Ian said, he won't care what he has to do, just that he gets what he wants. Anyone who stands in the way of Michael's obsession becomes the enemy to him," I tell him.

JUSTIN

I could see the disappointment Gus was trying to hide, since he'd only really seen Lindsay's good days. I wanted to wait until Lindsay was fully asleep to talk to Gus. It was hard to leave him sitting in the hall when Lindsay refused to see him. Emmett came with us, wanting to help in any way he could, and stayed so Gus wasn't alone in the hallway. He didn't understand she was ashamed of herself and didn't want Gus to have to see her having a bad day. 

Once I felt her body relax, I slipped out from under her, adjusting her pillow and blanket before leaving her alone. I needed to help Gus. Emmett and Gus both looked up when I walked into the hallway, closing Lindsay's door. 

"She seemed so happy yesterday," Gus tells us.

"This is how it works. She has good days when it seems like she's handling everything. Which she's done for longer than she's ever been able to before. Then there are days like this when she can't get out from under the sadness and feeling like nothing could ever make it better," I tell him.

"You kept telling me not to take anything personally, yet it felt really personal that she didn't want me in the room," Gus tells me.

"It wasn't, no matter how it feels. She's having to deal with the things she wouldn't have before, now that she's willing to remember them, and those feelings got to be too much for her... I need you to listen to me. She IS dealing with them, not trying to hide from them," I tell him.

"So this is a win, even when it doesn't feel like it," Gus reasoned.

"More wins than she's had since before you came back into her life," I tell him.

"I want her to know it's okay to let me see her even when she gets like this," Gus tells us.

"From what I read, it's likely she's embarrassed or ashamed of it, so it would make sense to tell her your love doesn't just vanish when things aren't perfect, which is something she's dealt with all her life," Emmett tells him.

MICHAEL

I went to the one place where everything was right in my world. Sitting surrounded by comics always soothed me. Being able to imagine my world the way it should be was easier without having people rub it in my face that I was wrong. Mel should have supported me. Didn't she get that if Brian was rightfully with me, then Lindsay wouldn't have had a way to escape from what she deserved! Not that I cared she got knocked up, just that the kid wasn't another link to Brian. Only, Lindsay, the conniving bitch, managed it anyway, using the shit to once again rub it in my face. I blame Mel for all of this. If she'd told me, I could have done something to make sure Justin didn't get his hooks back into Brian. 

I thought I'd finally gotten what Brian and I wanted when Brian told me he and Justin were over, again. Why didn't Brian tell me what Justin was up to? I wanted to be angry at Brian for keeping that from me. He should have known I would have protected him from them if I had known. I could feel myself getting angry at Brian. Didn't he see what he caused me to do? I ended up marrying David when he left me to fend for myself. Brian should have known marrying David meant nothing to me, just like when I married Ben. I needed him to stop wasting time or he could lose me. No one gets that even though Brian went away, he was just doing what he needed to for us. It doesn't matter what anyone says to me, that's the only thing that makes any sense, because I know he loves me. He has to love me the way I always have and always will love him. That thought calmed me; it's the words that made me believe there would be a us someday. 

I looked over at the door, wishing he'd come through it as he did in the past. A door that wouldn't have been mine if it wasn't for Brian. That's what people didn't get, everything good in my life happened because Brian was there, offering his support and showing me he loved me the most by standing by me all my life. Until HE came along. Then things started to change. Brian wasn't reacting the way he should have when it came to HIM! No matter what I said, Brian still kept HIM around. I hated watching the way Brian's eyes followed HIM. I tried everything that had worked in the past. Needing Brian to stop wasting his life, when I was there waiting for our future. It didn't help that Ben started making noise about us needing to find a life outside of Brian Kinney's life. I wavered a little in my devotion to Brian since nothing I was doing was working. I distanced myself from Brian, waiting for him to realize his life was worse without me in it. I even invited him to dinner with the schmucks across the street, to get a reaction out of him. I wasn't angry at Brian that night for behaving the way he did. I was angry that he invited HIM, like they were a couple. Then came the bomb, the one that should have had Brian sitting beside me, worrying about me. Yet where was he? Proposing to HIM! Looking back at that time, I knew it was my fault. Brian and I were at odds and it gave the twink a way to get my dreams. It's the only time I could thank Lindsay, since she managed to stop them and sent the asshole away from us finally. Brian was starting to be the Brian I loved all my life again, and it was also when Ben started pulling away. I made sure Brian knew about the late nights, the unexplained absences, and Ben's disinterest in me. Brian was once again there, showing me I was important to him. Until our night together, it was like it had been in the past, ‘the Brian and Mikey show'. Only something went wrong, instead of Brian taking me into his arms and saying we were meant to be, he was pissed at me and worried what HE would think. At first, I was angry at Brian, but then for once, Justin Taylor did what I wanted him to do and disappear from all our lives. I thought it gave me time to show Brian what our life would be like, and that was a mistake since I shouldn't have included Jenny. I thought he'd see we could be fathers together and make the home life I dreamed of the day we met. I pushed about taking Jenny away from Mel, expecting Brian to support me, only he resisted me at every turn, then kicked me out. I didn't get upset since the one person who made me waver once was no longer in Brian's life. I had no problem waiting for Brian to come back to me the way he always had and always will. But then the FUCKER somehow got Brian back into his clutches again. 

I was startled from my thoughts as someone passed by the window, noticing it was dark outside. Then wondering if my mind was playing tricks on me since I could have sworn it was Brian walking by. My mind sometimes conjured up Brian, but he always came in, hoping to make it up to me, not passed by. Running out the door, I looked in the direction the guy went, only to see him get into a jeep and speed off. Excitement flooded my veins, it had to be Brian. I got in my car and drove all over until I saw the jeep, and ran into Woody's, ready to save Brian from JT... Justin trapping him into the life Brian could only want with me.

I couldn't find him, no matter where I looked. I walked out of the bathroom starting to worry that I was imagining things. I did it while married to David, instead of saying what I really thought of David. I didn't bother to look around since Mel was right, I wasn't welcome around Liberty Avenue lately. I'd make sure the fuckers had to beg for my attention once Brian was back in my life!

Then the whispers started, "I get what all the talk was about," One guy says.

"Yeah, even now the man could have anyone here," Another guy comments, peaking my attention.

"It's probably a good thing he's off the market, from what a friend told me he could ruin you for other men," 

"Someone told me the partner was just as good, and the two of them together were like sex and sin to your body."

"Could you imagine what it would be like to be chosen by Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor," the guy says, shivering.

"Honey, after seeing them live and in person tonight, it's not a rumor but fact, just watching the two of them I almost came in my pants, seeing them all over each other,"

I wanted to rip the guy's tongue out. If he could have seen Brian with me, then he would have seen the real couple, not the one HE made everyone believe was the legend of Liberty Avenue. I was the one who everyone looked to in hopes of getting Brian's attention. The fucking twink was nothing but a whore, not even in league with Brian. I couldn't listen any longer as they forgot me while talking about all the exploits without remembering I was once the center of it all!

"I'd give anything to be a fly on the wall at the LOFT tonight," Was the last thing I heard before leaving the bar.

I looked in the direction the jeep was parked in, seeing a blond and brunette getting in and driving off down the street, headed in the direction of the loft. They were out of sight by the time I got in my car, which made me hurry. I smiled, thinking of ruining HIS night since Brian would see I needed him to help me. The lights on in the loft felt like a sign. Finally, Brian was home where he belonged. I ran up to the buzzer holding it down, pissed that I couldn't get in the way I used to. 

"What?" Brian's voice came through the speaker.

"Something's wrong, my key isn't working, so let me up," I say, excited.

He didn't answer, just buzzed me in. I ran up the stairs, almost tripping in my excitement of seeing Brian for the first time in years. The loft door was ajar, and I resisted ripping it open, wanting to be in Brian's arms again. I walked in looking around, pretending to be confused at the changes from the past. Then turned, savoring the moment I'd see Brian again.

"Mikey, I hate to say it but the years didn't do anything good to you," Brian says, pouring two drinks.

BRIAN

Michael stared at me, looking constipated, but likely hoping to convey being confused. He came over to grab the second drink, but I shook my head, walking towards the bedroom to hand it to Justin.

"Years? Brian, we saw each other yesterday. Remember? Your son was born," he tells me.

"I remember Gus being born. Hard to forget that night. It's the night I found you," I say to Justin as he walks into the living room.

"Jesus, he's still hanging out with you? And you're letting him drink at his age," Michael says. I had to agree that Justin was ageless in looks, which sometimes annoyed the hell out of me.

"I think being thirty-eight makes it okay, Mikey," Justin says, rolling his eyes.

"I think it's time we get the kid home before his parents cause problems for you, Brian," Michael says ignoring Justin.

"Brian?" Justin says questioningly since we had to indulge Michael.

Michael looked at the door when Ted, Blake, Emmett, Drew, and Alex came in. Michael glared at Blake, starting to say something, but stopped since he had to be careful what he said to Blake. Michael continued to act confused as Blake and Justin greeted each other, and Drew stood there with his arms around Emmett.

"What is this, bring a trick night? Sorry, Alex, but you aren't my type," Michael jokes.

"We all thought we'd celebrate with Brian and Justin," Ted tells Michael.

"Why would we celebrate with anyone but Brian? He's the one Lindsay duped into having a kid," Michael tells him.

"What does Gus have to do with celebrating Brian and Justin getting married?" Alex asks Michael.

"Why would Brian marry some kid he picked up last night? Dude, maybe you should lay off the drugs," Michael tells him, glaring over at Justin as he kissed me.

"Michael, you do realize that happened like twenty years ago?" Emmett asks, feigning concern.

"What? No, it was... yesterday... or maybe a week ago, because Ted you were in the hospital because of that asshole," Michael says, pointing at Blake, shaking his head as if trying to clear the confusion. "Wait, I know you, but for some reason, I can't remember why," Michael says, looking at Drew.

"Michael, maybe you should sit down," Alex tells him.

"Brian, I don't understand. Why everyone's acting like something wrong with me?" Michael asks, wrinkling his head with confusion.

"Probably because you're talking as if the last twenty years haven't happened," Justin comments.

"Look, kid, I'm sure you think Brian fucking you means something, but it never will. You're just one in a long line of tricks," Michael snaps.

"I don't know Mikey, since he did the one thing you told me wouldn't ever happen," Justin smirks, before continuing as Michael tried to glare a hole through him. "Apparently he does do repeats, and lucky me, it's only for me. Hell, it must have stung when Brian treated you like a trick,"

"He wanted me! He knew what I knew, that we belong together, and the only reason we weren't was that he felt like he owed it to you to stick by you. You fucking cheated on him, used him, then came back when fucking Ethan couldn't give you what Brian did. I was there, showing him he deserved better, I was the one who loved him the most... while you were whoring yourself to half of Liberty Avenue. Brian kept me in his life because he loved me in a way he could never love anyone, so why don't you get out of his life. Stop standing in our way! Don't you get it, HE. PITIES. YOU! Why do you think he took five goddamn years to tell you something he told me throughout our friendship! Remember ‘ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL LOVE ME!' He only said he loved you because he was scared he was losing me! Don't you see Brian, you could never lose me... I'll wait forever for you... but he has to go," Michael says, sounding completely unhinged.

"Maybe we should talk about it, just you, me, and Alex. Tomorrow, without everyone else around," I tell him.

"I'll agree on one condition," Alex tells Michael.

"What...  Anything you want. Brian's right, maybe talking to you would help him too," Michael tells him.

"Why pretend you were stuck in the past, since it's obvious you were pretending?" Alex asks.

"Brian was ignoring me, and I knew he'd come to save me, like Rage did," Michael tells him.

Alex, with Ted's help, managed to get Michael to leave the loft, even while screaming to me that I needed to be with him now. When they got to the street, Gus pulled up with Ian, and the look Michael gave Gus reminded me of the way he used to look at me.