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BRIAN

 

I went to pick up Emmett, ready to go home. Instead, I was stuck waiting since Emmett seems to think his cats need instructions on taking care of the apartment while he is away. He sat on the floor, lining them up in front of him, and weird as it seems they all looked like they were listening to him.

 

“Sunny, I’m trusting you to make sure the rest of them don’t make a mess while I’m gone. Baz, no hogging all the attention when Teddy comes by to visit. Romy and Michelle, both of you, no looting for your treats. Teddy knows to make sure you get them if all of you are good.” When he was done with his instructions to them, Emmett said, turning to look at me. “I hope you understand that if I decide to take you up on your offer, my babies will be moving with me.”

 

“I understand you take having a pet to a level I’ll never get,” I tell him.

 

“Do we have time to see Deb before we go? I want to make sure if Teddy can’t come over she and Carl will.” Emmett tells me, as the cats all scrambled away when they heard Deb’s name. “She thought you’d like the sweaters,” Emmett tells them as if he knew what they were thinking. “Deb knitted them all sweaters during a heatwave.” He told me as if that made sense and it kind of did.

 

“We can’t stay long,” I told him, thinking Deb needed to know in case she had to deal with Michael and Mel.

 

“At least we don’t have to worry about Michael showing up while we’re there,” Emmett said grabbing his bags, then dropping them again to hug each of his cats. 

 

The one he called Sunny came over and rubbed himself on my leg, looking up at me like he expected something from me. “Sunny, there’s only one Sunshine Brian likes doing that to him,” Emmett said picking him up and kissing his head. Finally, we got out of the door. I didn’t say a word about the cat’s name since it sounded like Emmett found a way to keep Justin in his life. I did ask about his statement about Michael.

 

“David’s upset that Deb tried to get Michael to talk to Mel about moving here,” Emmett told him.

 

“Why? It would make it easier for Jenny to see her and Michael.” I ask, more for Jenny than anyone else.

 

“David doesn’t have a problem with Jenny visiting, but he doesn’t want her to get in the way of his son and the life he expects Michael to live. Michael can’t make a move since he agreed to let David support him and has to keep David happy or he’s out. Since David’s the one who owns everything, including Michael’s shop, it means Michael wouldn’t have a place to go or a way to support himself if he displeases David,” Emmett tells me, watching to see my reaction to Michael’s servitude to David.

 

“If Michael can’t put his foot down for his daughter, then he lives with the consequences,” I tell him.

 

“I think David’s the reason Mel won’t consider coming here.” He tells me.

 

“Let’s not talk about her for now. She and I are about to face off if she shows up and upsets Gus any more than he already has been.” I tell him.

 

Emmett didn’t say any more. I gave him my phone and told him to look through the pictures. He smiled at seeing Justin’s life through the pictures I kept for years. He came to the ones of Patrick and studied them.

 

“He doesn’t really look like Lindsay.” He commented, handing me my phone as we pulled up to Deb’s house.

 

“There are small things, like the way he laughs. Justin says he got his blunt way of talking from me, but he got all his stubbornness from Justin.” I say as we get to the door.

 

Emmett opened the door, and the smell told me Deb was upset. It always made me laugh that we all associated home cooking with an upset Deb. She looked puzzled to see me there since I rarely visited her house anymore. I didn’t want to run into Michael and cause problems when it was easier for us to meet somewhere else.

 

“This is a surprise,” Deb said, hugging both of us.

 

“I needed to ask if you and Carl could check on the babies since Brian needs my help for a while,” Emmett tells her.

 

“So you're really going to take on New York,” Deb said looking proud of me. “What are you helping Brian with?” Deb asks Emmett.

 

Emmett looked to me to answer since he wasn’t sure what to say. “Justin agreed to finally make it legal, and Patrick is getting to know Gus and Ian,” I said, wanting to see it confirmed that Deb knew the whole time.

 

“Well… at least I won’t go into shock this time when I get the invitation.” Deb smiled.

 

“You knew?” Emmett asked.

 

“I knew. But like all of you, I learned to let Brian keep his secrets since that’s how he wanted it to be. I didn’t want them to have to explain why they loved each other, just do what they should have done before Justin left here- put each other before all of us.” She tells us.

 

“And she knew that when you and Justin finally found a way to work it out, she wasn’t going to repeat her past mistakes with you,” Carl said, coming down the stairs.

 

“He suffered enough for putting up with my son. Now it’s Michael’s turn to see what it’s like to have to live with his own actions. I’ll always love Michael because I can’t not love him. It’s just, there’s a big place in my heart that sometimes loves you and Justin more, for always looking out for me.” Deb told me.

 

“I never wanted you to feel like you had to choose me,” I told her.

 

“That’s what made it easier when all my son does is offer misery to everyone in his life. It hurts that Jenny’s life is going to be harder because of Michael and Mel.” She tells me.

 

“Red,” Carl said as if warning her.

 

“I’m not saying that for you to do anything, just because I know you’re going to see her. Just tell her I love her and will always be where she needs me to be,” Deb said, but she was also warning me.

 

“So she isn’t just threatening to come?” I ask.

 

“No. But she doesn’t have a clue to what she’s about to walk into. She pissed Jenny off, and instead of telling Mel what she and Gus talked about, she told me. I explained to Jenny that she needed to remember that Gus never lied to her, and I couldn’t tell her the same about her father and mother. Jenny plans to apologize to Gus for the conversation they had tonight.” She told me. Seeing that I didn’t know what she was talking about she continued on. “She said something to Patrick out of anger, and he let her know exactly how he felt about it. She was worried I’d be angry at her since I’ve been in Patrick’s life. And she was right since in my eyes Patrick is my grandson too. Jenny asked a lot about the situation with Michael and I didn’t spare her any of it, including the fact that my son caused his own issues and you did nothing but try to be his best friend. I also told Jenny that Justin was the one who was there when my son was too busy to be the father he tried to tell everyone he wanted to be. And that Justin would have been there for her but he couldn’t because of the way things were between him and Mel, not because he didn’t love her.”  Deb said as if she needed to make it up for the past.

 

“She was a baby and didn’t get to know the Justin we knew,” Emmett tells her, hugging her.

 

“Why didn’t you and Justin tell me about Lindsay?” Deb asked, not hurt just curious.

 

“Because you couldn’t have helped her. She isn’t ever going to get completely well. It would have hurt you when nothing you would try to do would get the old Lindsay back.” I tell her.

 

“She would know that we all still cared,” Deb told me.

 

“She can’t even see me without it putting her in the past. I didn’t want you to have to deal with it and neither did Justin. She trusts him, but reminders sent her into a tailspin. I hate to cut this short, but we need to go, because tomorrow she’s going to be seeing Gus, and I need to be there in case Justin has to stay with her.” I said, not wanting to get into this, now that I knew Mel was coming.

 

“We’ll see you soon, and this time you won’t have to hide while I visit Justin and Patrick,” Deb tells me, smirking.

 

JUSTIN

 

Patrick came home with leftovers from dinner. He and Gus went up to his room when Ian asked me if we could talk. I listened to what happened with Jenny and wasn’t angry at her for what she felt, just that my son felt like he had to defend me. 

 

“It took me a few minutes to calm Patrick down, but he seems okay. I just wanted you to know in case Patrick is still upset. I also wanted you to know that Jenny thinks Mel is coming here. With Jenny angry, I’m not sure if she’ll tell Mel about everything. So this is preparing you and Brian on my part.” Ian tells me.

 

“You don’t like her?” I asked.

 

“I don’t have any use for her. She’s selfish and tries to manipulate Gus into doing things she wants him to do. So I put up with her, and am happy to be ignored since she doesn’t like me either.” Ian tells me.

 

“You saw it faster than I did. For a long time, I really thought she was a good person.” I tell him.

 

“She likely is when you don’t cross her.” Ian shrugs.

 

“And that’s all she’s going to see when she finds out I told Gus about Lindsay. I finally understood why she and Brian could never get along, and it wasn’t because they were alike. Brian still loved you even when you did things that hurt him, while she couldn’t. She hated him because he kept people and she lost them.” I tell him, thinking about him paying for my college and hiring me when he knew I needed the money.

 

“He’s always been there for everyone,” Gus said, coming down without Patrick. “He told me to tell you and Ian that he’s fine and knows Jenny can’t help the way she was raised.” Gus snickered.

 

“I went to see Lindsay,” I tell Gus, figuring I’d check on Patrick anyway after they left.

 

“Does she want to see me?” Gus asks.

 

“She does, but it scares her because seeing you confirms all the things she doesn’t want to believe. We made progress today since she was willing to talk about why she doesn’t like to remember things.” I tell him.

 

“Do you think she’ll ever get…” Gus said, unsure how to phrase it.

 

“Not to the point that she won’t always need help. She isn’t just lost in her memories, she’s broken into too many pieces to put it back together. It’s been too long for her to be able to deal with the world that changed while she slept through it. She needs an environment where she can feel safe, and the place she stays gives her that. Take her outside of it, and she gets bombarded with things her mind still can’t accept.” Ian tells him.

 

“Has she ever left there?” Gus asks.

 

“I’ve taken her out once in a while, but we stick to quiet places without too many people around. It’s something we both like. We tried to eat at a restaurant once for her birthday but it caused an episode when there were choices she couldn’t make, like what to eat, or how to talk to anyone who came up to me. I’ve learned to limit my expectations when it comes to her. When I first took her to the psychiatric hospital, I thought she just needed time and help to get better. But as Ian said, there’s a part of her that’s too broken to ever fix. You need to accept there isn’t going to be a miraculous recovery, just that she’ll do the best she can.” I tell him.

 

“I get angrier at Mel with everything I hear,” Gus tells Ian.

 

“It wasn’t only Mel that didn’t help Lindsay. And don’t take that as me defending any of what Mel did. I think it stems from Lindsay’s whole life because she also doesn’t talk about her parents or sister.” I tell him. 

 

“You think they abused her too?” Ian asks.

 

“I think she lived her life trying to make the people in her life accept her, and failing with everyone who was supposed to love her,” I tell them.

 

“What about Dad?” Gus asks.

 

“I’m not sure, but the only thing I can think of was that ‘Peter’ wasn’t there to protect her when she needed it and so she wants to remember the one who did,” I tell him.

 

“She probably subconsciously knows if Brian was there he would have done everything he could to help her. It’s something you just know. That Brian would walk through hell if it meant keeping his loved ones safe.” Ian says to Gus.

 

“I get it,” Gus said kissing Ian.

 

“We should get home and sleep to be ready for tomorrow,” Ian says, pulling Gus up.

 

“Hopefully Mel can’t ruin our day by showing up tonight or tomorrow,” Gus tells us.

 

I wanted to tell him we’d deal with it as a family, but a tornado came running through my door and snatched me into his arms.

 

“I’m so happy for you, Baby,” Emmett said, crushing me.

 

“I can tell. Can you let him go?” Brian grumbles.

 

“Hush you. I’m making up for years.” Emmett admonished before letting me go. “Hi, Gus, and Gus’s hottie.” Emmett teases.

 

“Em, it’s good to see you,” Gus tells him, hugging him.

 

I looked toward the stairs to see Patrick watching Emmett and Gus. Patrick would never say it, but this is something that hurt him. Feeling like there were parts of Brian’s life he couldn’t be a part of. I could tell when Brian would leave when Deb came to visit. Patrick would be happy to see Deb, but there was always a shadow in his eyes that he refused to acknowledge. Even though Patrick understood why, it still bothered him, because how could he understand it wasn’t about him. He didn’t see it was that Brian wasn’t willing to let his past hurt his little boy, the way it sometimes hurt Gus.

 

I fell in love with Emmett all over again when he looked to see what I was staring at. He gave Patrick something he could understand, acceptance and love. Because Emmett needed it just as much. 

 

“Well? Are you going to come down to welcome me, or do you think I’m too much for you?” Emmett asks, walking over to Patrick. “We have your whole life for you to tell your Auntie Em about. And I plan to be around until we get through all the years I missed not getting to have you in my life,” He says, looking at me for a second.

 

Like the day Brian accepted Patrick into his heart, Patrick got the same from Emmett. Patrick was slow to walk into Emmett’s arms, but Emmett was quick to love him into submission.

 

“I can’t breathe, Auntie Em.” Patrick panted out.

 

“Then I’m hugging you right,” Emmett told him, loosening up. “The pictures don’t do you justice, I bet you beat the girls and boys off with a stick,” Emmett tells him.

 

“Why would I do that, it’s way better to give in.” Patrick jokes, rolling his eyes at Brian’s growl. “I’m still your innocent little boy, Da, Gus is the one living in sin.” Patrick teases. Which made me relax, that Patrick wasn’t unsure of his place.

 

“I can tell Brian raised you.” Emmett teases Patrick back. “Now apparently I’m going to need some help, and since you know your dads well, you get to be the one who helps me. We have a huge wedding to plan for.” Emmett announces.

 

“Huge?” I ask, looking at Brian.

 

“I never do anything small, and you know there is no way I can’t invite all my clients and the people who we contract with those clients. Let’s not even talk about the art idiots who would be offended if their favorite artist didn’t invite them.” Brian says, tongue in cheek.

 

I thought about the clients and the people who he used in campaigns, sifting through them to figure out what Brian was up to. Gus came and whispered in my ear, ‘Drew’. Which made me wonder what Mr Kinney was up to; he never got involved in other people’s relationships so they thought, instead he just hid what he was doing. So, what Gus said made sense, while I didn’t really know Drew, I know Emmett’s light dimmed and never really brightened after Drew left. 

 

“I can help too if Dad will give me time off.” Gus offers.

 

“For now consider yourself on vacation until things settle down here,” Brian tells him.

 

Gus was still in college but he worked part-time for Brian, instead of just accepting money from his father. Brian was proud that Gus wanted to follow in his footsteps but told Gus to do what made him happy even  if advertising wasn’t it. Gus, like Brian, excelled at it, and we both agreed that one day Gus would take over if he wanted it. 

“I never asked, but what do you want to be when you grow up?” Gus asks Patrick, teasingly.

 

This was a bit touchy sometimes for Patrick. He inherited Sam's talent, but it wasn’t like it was for me. I had to create and felt alive bringing my visions to life. Patrick needed more and was a thrill seeker. Any sport, the more dangerous the more he wanted to learn it. Patrick wanted to race cars, but until he was old enough to drive he settled for soccer, and recently told us he made the hockey team. Patrick was worried about me, thinking his rejection of one of his talents was a slight to me. But like our wishes for Gus, it was the same for Patrick in our eyes, no matter how hard it was to watch his passions.

 

“We get to watch him beat up hockey players this year,” I tell Gus.

 

“And if you two are willing, I can participate in cross country skiing, since it won’t interfere with the other schedules,” Patrick says innocently.

 

“In other words, you signed up already.” Brian says, raising his brow.

 

“So, the wedding.” Patrick laughs, knowing Brian would support him.

 

“We have some things to discuss young man,” Brian says, sounding like the father he is.

 

EMMETT

 

I sat in the backseat of Gus’s car, thinking about standing outside the door of the house. I froze. I mean, I knew Brian was usually right when it came to Justin, but a tiny part of me still remembered what it was like to be unsure of what waited for me in a new place. Justin and my relationship couldn’t go back to the way it was, but it could be new and stronger if only I could walk in the door. Brian gave me a few minutes before he finally said something that gave me a push.

 

“He doesn’t need apologies, he needs to know you're still the man who accepted him into your life. Be the Emmett he knows, and show him what happened didn’t change you were his friend for you.” Brian said, opening the door.

 

I didn’t want to stay with Brian and Justin when it looked like they wanted time with Patrick. Ian and Gus offered to take me to Brian’s apartment on their way home. I needed time to deal with everything. I was thrilled that Justin got his happily ever after, and at the same time, it was hard not to be jealous of the life I’d always wanted, being shown to me. I didn’t need anyone to tell me I’d been hiding from getting hurt for years. I lived it with my cats. 

 

“What are you thinking about?” Ian asks Gus.

 

“Patrick,” Gus tells him.

 

“What about him?” I ask, curious.

 

“Tonight when you came in, he actually looked…” Gus says, looking at Ian for a second.

 

“As if he was unsure of his welcome?” Ian asks.

 

“Yeah, or like he expected to be left out,” Gus says.

 

“Given the situation…” Ian answers, leaving me fascinated at the way the two were in sync with each other.

 

“You mean Dad hiding him from me and the other part of his life,” Gus comments.

 

“It’s part of Brian’s life that he wasn’t…” Ian says as Gus finished.

 

“Allowed access. Yeah, I’m just glad you're you, Em. You never let anyone feel left out of your world.” Gus tells me.

 

“I wasn’t great when the thing with Justin happened. I was hurt, to tell the truth.” I tell them.

 

“Because of what I did?” Gus asks.

 

“No. I hated what Brian and Michael did, and felt like Justin was punishing all of us for it. Instead of forcing him to talk to me, I took the easy way out of it.” I tell him.

 

“I don’t think he would have tried, not with the things going on his life. He was pushing everyone he could out, to protect everyone from being put in the middle of what was going on.” Ian tells me.

 

“We forgave Michael for worse, yet I let my hurt feelings keep me away from Justin,” I tell them.

 

“You probably expected more…” Ian starts and once again Gus takes over.

 

“From Justin? Yeah we all did, and we had little to no expectations of Michael, since he didn’t really do anything unless he got credit for it.” Gus nods.

 

“But, back to Patrick. I know what it’s like to not know your place in your family. So I made sure he understood that with me it was unconditional acceptance.” I tell them.

 

“Can you do me a favor?” Gus asks.

 

“Anything,” I tell him, he knew he didn’t even need to ask.

 

“Act as a buffer between Patrick and Mel. I know my Dad and Justin will, but they’re going to be dealing with their own problems with Mel.” Gus tells me.

 

“It’s going to be hard for you too, not only with Mel but Lindsay on top of that. Don’t let yourself feel guilty because you can’t be the big brother you want to be while dealing with your own situation. I’m sure between all of us we can make sure Patrick isn’t hurt by anything Mel says.” I tell him.

 

“It’s not that,” Gus says as he parks.

 

“Then what?” I ask as Gus looks to Ian.

 

“Patrick’s temper could put Brian to shame,” Ian tells me.

 

“And you know how my Dad gets about me. I have a feeling that Mel wouldn’t make it out alive if she tries to blame Patrick or make him think he’s at fault for everything. I might be angry at her, but I don’t want her dead.” Gus tells me.

 

“Ian might need to hold me back if she thinks that going after a child is okay,” I tell them.

 

I got out, took the key, and told them I’d make myself at home. The apartment was flawless, but I wondered how Brian made anyone believe he lived here. It reminded me of those old sets where the outside looked real but if you step through the door, you saw there wasn’t even a room, just an empty plot with a wall between it and the rest of the set.

 

I went to the bedroom and was happy the bed was comfortable because all this excitement was more than I was used to lately. I smiled when Teddy texted me a picture of my babies asleep cuddled in front of my couch. Then wondered who the extra feet at the bottom of the frame were. Taking a guess, since I had hope for my Teddy, I type a message.

 

“Tell Blake goodnight for me.” I send.

 

“He said goodnight and sweet dreams.” Teddy sent back, giving me hope that we could all find the life Brian lived, despite everyone telling him he couldn’t have it.

 

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