Justin asked us to wait until he made sure my mother was ready to meet me. He went to the hospital first thing this morning. We’d picked up breakfast on the way to my dad’s and Emmett was going to meet us there. There hadn’t been any word from Mel, but I doubted she was joking about showing up, since she left a message that she would be there and expected me to be waiting for her. I told the doorman to let her know we left but not to allow her into my apartment, out of defiance to her edict. I just wanted to deal with meeting my mother again. The rest needed to wait until I could be strong again. I couldn’t be as objective as I needed to be about Mel while I was still angry at her. I could understand being hurt by the affair, and even the fact that she wanted nothing to do with a baby that would remind her of it. She had every right to her feelings, but she didn’t have the right to let me believe my mother didn’t want me. That was what made my feelings about what Dad did versus what Mel did, different. Mel turned Lindsay into the villian. Dad, while hiding the truth, tried to make it up to me. He also never said anything about my mother that hurt me to hear.

“I can deal with Mel for you,” Ian says when we were sitting in the kitchen with everyone.

“I need her to tell me why she thought what she did was right,” I tell him.

“Are you hoping her reasons were better than we think they are?” Ian asks.

“What do you think?” I ask my Dad, not sure what I wanted from Mel.

“That you’re an adult and need to do what’s right for you where she’s concerned,” Dad answers.

“I know she’s always disliked you, but you never said anything, no matter what she said to you,” I tell him.

“If it only involved me, I did. Mel and I have had some brutal fights with each other over the years, but I promised myself never to put you in the middle of it. So I don’t have anything to say that would help, just cause more problems, when it comes to her,” Dad tells me.

“I don’t want to hate her,” I admit to Ian.

“I don’t think any of us expect you to. It’s just that none of her actions gives me a lot of hope that she’ll be able to give you an answer you want,” Ian tells me.

“Was she always like this? Wanting everything her way?” I ask Emmett and my Dad.

“She’s always been opinionated, and expecting everyone to see things her way,” Emmett said when my dad wouldn’t answer. “There were times when she was right in what she said or did, but the way she went about it…” Emmett shrugged.

“Like making it look like my mother got tired of me?” I ask, trying not to sound as bitter as I felt about it.

“Yes, just like that. Mel didn’t always care about who she hurt when she did things,” Emmett says, as if he remembered something.

“What did she do to you?” I ask him, since Emmett talked to everyone, yet didn’t go out of his way to talk to Mel.

“It wasn’t anything like this. It was when Teddy got mixed up with crystal meth. She wasn’t wrong to be angry when Ted stole the money she and Lindsay were saving for you, and she was right when she didn’t avoid letting Ted know what he did was wrong,” Emmett said, as if trying to figure out what bothered him.

“I don’t see it that way. She and Lindsay gave money to Ted when he was broke and looking for a fix. What happened shouldn’t have been a surprise when he did what he did. I bet she didn’t see where she was wrong in that situation,” Dad comments.

“Yeah, I was too busy wanting to believe that we could help Teddy, to see how bad of an idea it was. I remember thinking I should have told Lindsay and Mel it was a bad idea, but I wanted to believe he wasn’t as far gone as he was. After he stole the money and I replaced it, we went over so Teddy could apologize. Which he did. Mel didn’t really say anything to Teddy. Instead, she let him leave the room and started in on me. I was still trying to defend Teddy. I can’t say she was wrong about me being delusional about wanting to believe he loved me enough to stop. Only, with Ted she wasn’t as forceful as she was with me. She just said she’d see when it came to Ted. With me, it seemed like she was angry at me for not agreeing with her. I took it to mean she was worried about me, and she offered me a place to live when I agreed with her,” He tells us.

“Does it mean she loves me or that she saw me as a pawn in the game she was playing with my dad? It took me forever to believe someone could truly love me, because I thought my mother didn’t,” I tell them.

“You got there Sonny Boy,” Dad says, looking at Ian.

*******************************************************************************************************

MEL

I should have taken Jenny to Deb’s house, since she refused to tell me what she and Gus talked about last night, but she would have seen it as a reward for her behavior. Instead, I knew, while Gus could ignore me when he didn’t like what I told him, he wouldn’t ignore Jenny. I spent the morning trying to find out where Brian was. Something wasn’t right with the way he didn’t seem to care what I said when I told him to have Gus call me. I wasn’t sure what to think when Jenny suddenly didn’t want to argue any more about moving, just stating that she wouldn’t agree unless we moved closer to Grandma. 

It’s why I needed Gus to agree with me, because David was threatening to cut off the support he sent to me if we chose Pittsburgh. He didn’t care where as long as we were far enough away that David’s life wasn’t inconvenienced. He didn’t like that Jenny found him wanting in comparison to the father Ben had been to her. David’s ego needed to be fed, and my daughter wouldn’t when he treated her as nothing more than an inconvenience that came with Michael. I fought with David over it and he let me know he knew exactly why the perfect Ben was no longer the father of the year Jenny described him as. Michael apparently told him all about it, not getting that David saw it as a weapon to keep me in line. 

Ben didn’t walk away willingly from Jenny’s life, instead it was a condition of the divorce. Ben agreed not to contact Jenny, and Michael signed away anything they jointly owned, even though he’d paid for none of it, so Ben could be free with Michael’s replacement. Otherwise, Michael was willing to fight for everything Ben worked his whole life for. I figured it was a no brainer. I never could figure out what anyone saw in Michael enough to build a life around.

I left Jenny at the hotel and drove to Gus’s apartment, only to be told by the doorman that Gus and Ian had left. I gave him a tight smile before leaving when he told me that I couldn’t wait in the apartment for them. Ian likely got Gus to agree to it. He never liked me from the beginning, when I said that I didn’t think Gus understood lust and love weren’t the same thing. I can’t say I like him either, since he told me Gus shouldn’t have to meet requirements to be loved. Ian didn’t help when he told me he didn’t care what I thought about him or his relationship with Gus. It left me nothing to fight him with, although he did me the favor of keeping his opinion to himself, not influencing Gus in a way that would have caused problems. I didn't get him, he held cards he could play against me, but didn’t. Ian didn’t care when I treated him like he didn’t exist. He likely saw it as a point to him that Gus stopped allowing me unlimited access to his life.

Next, I went to the Asshole’s apartment. There were days when it made me happy to see his life wasn’t any better than mine. Brian never managed a relationship after Justin, and from everything I read, Justin was the success we all knew he could be. Only, he didn't have the man I knew he loved more than anything, and I did everything I could to ensure he wouldn’t have Gus in his life for siding with Lindsay when I was the one wronged. Lindsay’s father told me about Justin wanting to adopt that baby, but only after I promised they wouldn’t have to deal with Gus either. I didn’t see any reason to say anything to anyone about where the baby came from since they wouldn’t understand why I treated Lindsay the way I did. They were all bleeding hearts. Only Michael understood what it was like to love someone and have them betray all the promises you made to each other. Brian did it to him every time Justin was near. It’s not like Michael meant anything to me, but he was the one weakness that I had when it came to Brian, until he managed to drive Brian completely out of his life. Then Michael ran to David to lick his wounds. At first, I thought David could be an ally since he never like Brian. Only, David didn’t want anything to do with my problems, as he told me. He got what he wanted, Michael completely dependent on him, with the understanding that without him, Michael would be destitute. It really couldn’t have happened to someone more deserving than Michael, but that didn’t help me right now. 

Gus not calling me was the bigger worry, since he always did, regardless of disagreeing with me. I knew he wouldn’t move with me, Ian had Gus so far up his ass that Gus believed that it was love. He didn’t care when I pointed out that Justin thought the same at his age and look how that turned out. Their love story turned into ashes the way mine did and for once Brian lost instead of coming out on top. Justin’s crime was that he didn’t call me when he showed up, and didn’t want to talk to me to hear my side when I found out. He took Lindsay with him, leaving me to deal with everything. He acted like it was somehow my fault Lindsay opened her legs to that fucker, and wasn’t willing to see what Lindsay did as worse than my reminding her that she was the reason our relationship broke apart. He didn’t care about her continuing to resist getting rid of the baby, or that she was the one willing to hurt me and our children. He blocked me from seeing Lindsay after the baby was born; trying to tell me that she couldn’t take any more from me. Angry at him, I went to her parents, hoping to make it harder for Justin. Only, as usual, they foisted any responsibility for Lindsay onto any takers, and Justin ended up being able to keep Lindsay from dealing with the shit she caused that destroyed our marriage.

I was confused when I saw Emmett come out of Brian’s building. From what little Ted said about anything, Emmett was practically a hermit lately. I waited while he got in the car and followed him. I should have tried to keep in contact with Emmett, but he’d never really agreed with me. He didn’t see Brian having influence over Gus as a bad thing. So, I let time and distance cause us to lose touch, even if it was Emmett who stopped talking to me. I watched as he got out and went into an impressive house, and recognized the cars in the driveway. I picked up my phone and sent Gus a text, since he was ignoring my calls, since he obviously could hang out with others.

“I expected you to be waiting for me, since I told you I needed to talk to you,” I sent.

“You should be happy not to see me right now, at least until you can explain the lies you spent my life telling me… I know where my mother is,” He sent right back.

I sat there rereading it, hoping I read it wrong. It sent a cold shiver down my spine that everything I thought I had under control was suddenly all tumbling down. Brian had managed to win when I thought I held all the cards. I looked up when I heard a car stopping, to see it pull into the driveway and Justin getting out. And my nightmare continued when Brian opened the door of the house, kissing Justin as he went inside. This couldn’t be happening. I needed to regroup and make sure Gus believed that everything I did was for us. I got back to the hotel, wanting to scream when Deb was sitting in the room and Jenny wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“We need to talk about everything,” Deb said, not moving when I glared at her for daring to think I owed her any explanation.

*******************************************************************************************

GUS

I didn’t let Mel change my plans. I just wanted to see my mother. Just to look at the face that sometimes I had to look at the pictures I kept to remember. Justin came back, letting us know that so far it was a good day for my mom.

“I just don’t want it to harm her, seeing me,” I tell him.

“Or are you worried about how you’ll feel if she doesn’t react well to it?” Ian asked, knowing exactly what I was really thinking.

“We don’t have to do this today if you aren’t ready. One thing I do want to tell you is not to be afraid of anything you say to her, because even if she reacts badly to it, she has people to help to get her through it,” Justin tells me.

“I don’t know if anyone can be ready for something like this, can they? But really, your life won’t change drastically since you’ve already been living without Lindsay. But, over time, if she responds at least you’ll have more than you did before,” Patrick says, grabbing the rest of the bacon.

Strangely enough, hearing Patrick, who wouldn’t have a relationship with my mom, since he was a casualty she didn’t want to remember, got me out of my seat and headed to the car with Justin and Ian. She'd never be anything for Patrick, and I really believe he could live with it. I managed to laugh when Emmett got up and started making more food when Patick complained he needed sustenance, sounding like the teenager he was instead of the wise old man that sometimes came out.

The drive didn’t take any time at all, but I knew it was because I wanted it to take longer. We were met by one of her doctors, Jacobs, who lead us outside where Justin said she liked to sit most days. She looked back over her shoulder at me as we got near each other. There wasn’t anything in her expression to give me an indication how she was feeling about seeing me. She grabbed Justin’s hand and sat him down next to her, watching me as I sat across from her. We all sat there in silence as she kept staring at me.

“Brown, not hazel,” She whispered to Justin.

“He got that from you,” Justin tells her.

“Hello… Gus,” She said, sounding like she was convincing herself.

“Hi… is it strange that I want to call you Mommy, or that the idea of you calling me Lambskin doesn’t embarrass me, like it would have in my teenage years?” I babbled when I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Hopefully I wouldn’t have done that. The last thing anyone needs is to be embarrassed by a parent,” She said, smiling before starting to fret and looking at Justin. “But I wasn’t one for Gus was I?” She asks, not willing to look back at me.

Justin looked at me, not answering her. I knew this is what he was talking about earlier, that I shouldn’t hold back out of fear of how it would affect her. “No. But we could start now and I could tell you anything you missed. I can’t be the child who you want me to be, but I can be the son you missed,” I tell her.

“Do you want to see my lake?” Lindsay asked, letting go of Justin’s hand and offering hers to me.

“I’d like that,” I said getting up and walking away as Ian watched, worried about me. For a second my head went to where Justin and Ian warned me about, the idea that seeing me would click something for my mother. I stopped it, making myself be happy with just seeing her again.

“I like your young man. Justin says he makes you happy.” She tells me, as we stroll around.

“It took me a while to convince him of that,” I told her, smiling at the chase Ian led.

“Brown, not hazel… What made him the one?” She asked.

I realized she was fighting not to forget who I was with those words. She asked me the simplest question for me to answer, about falling in love with Ian. “I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, and didn’t hear a word he said when he came to lead a lecture in my psychology class. When he was finished I waited until everyone else was done talking to him. He thought I was there to see about the extra credit our teacher was offering if we volunteered at the metal health fair. I got the information for extra credit I didn’t need, but it meant I could see Ian again,” I tell her.

“Brown, not hazel… What happened then?” She asked.

“I spent the day helping him, and realized that he loved what he did, and his reward was to see someone’s life become better. I asked him out, and he agreed, but it took me a while for him to believe I really knew what I wanted. It didn’t help that his friends made it sound like I’d eventually dump him for someone younger,” I said, only to stop when my mom stopped.

Brown, not hazel… Brown, not hazel… They shouldn’t have done that.” She said finally.

“They didn’t want him to get hurt. But they also didn’t understand how he could have something they hadn't found, none of them thought I was old enough to know what I wanted. Something they were still figuring out,” I told her, hoping she was okay.

“Brown, not hazel… It’s why I wouldn’t agree to the bet they all made,” She said, confusing me.

“What bet?” I asked, not sure if I should. I looked over to Justin who got up and came over when my mother didn’t answer me. She just stared out at the lake. When Justin got to us, I asked him. “What bet is she talking about?” 

Justin turned my mother to him. She grabbed him into a hug, and answered into his shoulder. “They all made bets on how long you and Peter would make it. It hurt me that they couldn’t see how much he loved you,” She said, looking into Justin’s eyes.

“Then you won, because we’re still together and have the life we want,” Justin told her.

“It’s why I called you. Because when YOU love someone, it’s with your whole heart. I can see that… Gus is just like you.” She told him, before looking at me, as if she wasn’t seeing me anymore. “Thank you for the walk, but I really need to get things done if Justin is going to show his work,” She said, going over to her doctor.

Justin let her go, coming over to me and letting me cry on his shoulder. I was right, nothing could make it hurt less, but in a way it was healing to know she somehow managed to tell me she was proud of who I became even when it meant she left me behind in her mind. We walked over to Ian, who let me lean on him, not trying to say everything was going to be okay. Even if seeing me would have done the impossible, it might have hurt her more to know what escaping into her mind left me dealing with. I couldn’t do that to the shell that was once my mommy.

My dad was waiting and I let him support me the way I could always depend on him for. “I know Sonny Boy,” Was all he said, and I realized he had lost just as much, since he lost his best friend too.

“She tried, and hopefully she’ll keep trying,” I tell him.

***********************************************************************************************************

DEB

I woke up to the phone ringing in the middle of the night, last night. Which normally was Carl being called in, but instead was Jenny crying because she was worried Gus would hate her. It took a while but Jenny told us Mel drove them to New York, pissed that Gus was still ignoring her. Jenny asked me if she should tell Mel what was going on. When I told her I’d do it, Jenny sounded relieved. Carl wasn’t thrilled when I told him I was going to deal with Mel and try to figure out what she thought she was going to accomplish by confronting Gus. Even though he didn’t see the reason for us to get involved he got in the car and we drove to where Jenny told us they were staying. Carl pointed out in the car that Jenny didn’t need to see Mel and me at each other's throats, so he offered to take Jenny out to do something while I tried to roll a boulder uphill. I promised he wouldn’t have to call in favors at the NYPD. I needed to help my granddaughter if I could, while trying to talk sense into the boulder.

While I waited for Mel to return from where she went after leaving Jenny alone, I called Brian, not wanting to say anything he didn’t want me to say to Mel.

“Tell her the truth. Hopefully she’ll get that this is not the time to demand anything from Gus. I doubt seeing her after Lindsay will help either of them.” He tells me, hanging up.

Mel would never see that Brian wasn't trying to score points neither could win. For him it was just about doing the best he could for Gus. All Mel would ever see was that nothing she did would convince any of us Brian wasn’t who she decided he was.

Mel walked in, glaring at me as if it would make my unwelcome visit end. I didn’t move, unwilling to care how she felt when it was hurting my grandchildren. Mel and I were at a stalemate. She didn’t want me around but Jenny loved me and became harder to deal with when Mel tried keeping her away from me and Carl. It’s why Mel wanting to move them near her parents didn’t make a lot of sense. They didn’t pretend any interest in Jenny since they didn’t like the way Mel had her. So, for me it was also about trying to find out what spurred on this idea, when Mel never made it sound like Canada wasn’t everything she told everyone it was. She wouldn't explain why she suddenly wanted to move, when it had never come up before. Jenny, while not loving it there, wasn’t against staying but would only move to be closer to me.

“Carl took Jenny out since she didn’t need to be here for this conversation. You need to leave Gus alone. He’s going to be upset enough when he sees Lindsay, and you heaping more on him won’t get you anything you want,” I tell her.

“You’ve known it all along haven’t you, and I’m the bad guy instead, right?” Mel accuses.

“I knew what Justin was willing to tell me, and figured out the rest on my own. I’m not sure exactly what Gus knows, but he knows all of you kept it from him,” I tell her.

“Yet, you didn’t see the need in telling me, when it affected my family. This affected Jenny too,” Mel says, sitting across from me like she was going to question me.

“Why would I when you made it impossible for anyone if they didn’t agree with you? Unlike the others, I didn’t have to do anything to keep you from banishing me out of your life. That happened the minute I wouldn’t ignore Justin the way you and Michael wanted me to. I couldn’t treat a child as if he was to blame for everything either,” I tell her.

“If she hadn’t gotten pregnant with that baby…” I cut her off.

“I wasn’t talking about Patrick, which is his name. I’m talking about Gus,” I tell her.

“I never punished Gus, I gave him everything he should have gotten from Lindsay,” Mel argues.

“You let him think Lindsay abandoned him. Instead of telling him the truth, that she needed to escape from a life you were making impossible, with my son’s help,” I said, not willing to let Mel twist it into anything but what it was.

“She waited until she couldn’t get rid of… Patrick, to tell me. I didn’t want the constant reminder, yet she thought we could somehow get past it and welcome her mistake into our lives. What was I supposed to do, pretend I could love him, when all he would have been was a reminder that Lindsay betrayed me with Sam? I couldn’t believe it when I found out she got pregnant. We’d moved and life was starting to get back to what it was, then she tells me. Once again, she betrayed me by hiding the results of her actions.” She tells me.

“So, instead of telling her you couldn’t do it, and that it was over between you two, you punished her. How was that supposed to do something to fix the situation? You were asking her to give up a baby, or lose everything. When she didn’t do what you wanted you beat her over the head with it until she snapped. Was it worth it? Then, you let Gus believe that his mother left him, not that she couldn’t handle what you did to her. He spent his life trying to understand what made him so unlovable that she left him. And you were there, letting him believe the worst. So I ask again, how was he to blame for everything you and Lindsay did to yourselves?” I ask, waiting for her to hopefully see her part in this, since none of us were innocent when it came to hurting people.

“Lindsay could have shown up at any time and fixed her relationship with Gus,” Mel says, as if she didn’t believe Lindsay was as far gone as Brian had told me.

“Lindsay is still in the same hospital Justin had to admit her to. I doubt she stayed because she liked being medicated and not being able to live a normal life,” I tell her, holding up my hand to stop Mel from accusing me of knowing more than I did. “I didn’t know until Brian told me about it yesterday. I called Justin’s mother to fill me in about the rest. Like you, I just assumed a lot when Lindsay never made contact with me again. I didn’t ask Justin because I trust him to do what he thinks is right,” I tell her.

“She probably likes the sympathy she gets from them, and not having to face the shit she did to me,” Mel said under her breath. But at least she admitted it was all about her.

“I think it was more about the shit you and Michael did to her that keeps her in her past and avoiding the parts of her life that hurt her. You can spin it any way you want. But fourteen years tells me she isn’t just playing around, she’s broken,” I tell her.

“Am I supposed to feel bad about that?” Mel asks sarcastically.

“If you really ever loved her, yes, you would. But I guess you really didn’t in the end,” I tell her.

“What about Michael, since you included him?” She said, ignoring what I said.

“I have long since stopped trying to find a reason for the way my son is, instead I accept that he isn’t half the man I wish he was. I know why he did what he did, because he was a selfish shit who liked hurting anyone as long as it benefited him. He saw a target in Lindsay because he couldn’t get close to Gus, since she wouldn’t have pushed Justin out of Gus’s life. She saw that Justin loved Gus, the way Brian has always and will always love Gus,” I tell her.

“Until Michael showed him the attention Justin couldn’t, since he was keeping Lindsay and the baby from Gus,” Mel said, almost like she believed it.

“He did a great job too, didn’t he? He loved Gus until nothing got him what he wanted from Brian. Then blamed Gus for everything, hurting the son you love, the same way you blame Justin. Does it feel good to have so much in common with my son?” I ask her.

“I was always there for Justin and he couldn’t support me. Instead, he helped her,” Mel spat.

“Here we go again. He didn’t agree with you and you punished him because it couldn't be about what you did. Justin helped Lindsay because she needed someone when her world was falling apart. It had nothing to do with you, and more to do with the fact that Justin couldn’t stand by and not help someone… anyone, when he could do something. He’s always been that way and unless you were blind you would have realized he was being the person we loved. He was not doing it to spite you,” I tell her.

“He adopted… Patrick. Which was what caused the end of my life with Lindsay,” Mel says, like Justin did it to hurt her.

“He fell in love with Patrick. It had nothing to do with anything but the fact that he couldn’t help but love the baby no one wanted. He knew what it was like to be tossed out, and didn’t want Patrick to ever know what that pain was like. He wanted Patrick to grow up without feeling like he didn’t have anyone. Justin even let Brian go when Brian argued that he shouldn’t do it, that's how much he loves his son. He sacrificed his wants to love Patrick, to me that says more about him than you. It took them a while before they realized they couldn’t go on without each other,” I tell her, remembering Justin’s words from long ago.

“How long?” Mel asked, which made me wonder why she wanted to know.

“I can’t say exactly when they got back together, but I think it was less than a year later,” I tell her.

Mel smiled a smile that said she thought she could use that for something. I smiled back, confusing her. “Gus knows about them and Patrick, so there is nothing there you can use against Brian,” I didn’t smirk but it was hard not to.

“Then that’s why he isn’t answering me, Brian told him everything,” Mel whispered.

“Jenny also knew since Gus told her. And think about this- your daughter was angry enough at you that she was willing to let you walk into it. Which is one of the reasons I’m actually here. Now explain to me why you think moving her completely away from the entire family she knows is a good idea, and why you tried to include Gus in this?” I ask.

“Because David doesn’t want Jenny in their lives, ruining the way David sees his family, which doesn’t include my daughter,” Mel says. 

“Michael agreed to this?” I ask.

“He probably doesn’t know or care, since everything is about holding up the image David wants them to have. Michael thinks everyone believes him, that everything in his life was better once he got rid of Brian. But no matter what he does we all know he’s still wishes David was Brian. Instead of admitting he lost, he pretends that being with David in a relationship is perfect. Why worry about his daughter when he can have all the things Brian wouldn’t give him through David? I’d love to see his face when he finds out nothing he did stopped Justin from getting Brian in the end. Justin deserves to be miserable with Brian, but Michael won’t see it that way,” Mel said, watching to see if she hurt me by telling the truth about Michael.

“From what I can see they’re both perfectly happy, in a way Michael can only pretend to be. In fact, Brian was practically glowing that Justin agreed to get married and that Gus is happy for them. From what Emmett told me today, Gus is thrilled to have Patrick in his life. I guess you could say the only real miserable ones are you and Michael,” I say, getting up. Planning to feed Patrick and make sure I’m there if Gus needs me too.

“I’m not miserable,” Mel says, as if to convince herself.

“You will be if you think Gus will agree to anything that you want. I think right now he is dealing with how you could love him yet lie to him all his life,” I tell her, opening the door.

“Don’t tell me, as usual nothing sticks to Brian. He lied too,” Mel was quick to point out.

“Brian did it to protect his son. Can you say the same? Before I go, Carl and I are going to stay tonight, I think it would be best if Jenny stayed with us, while you figure out your life,” I said, waiting for her to answer. 

“It’s fucked. What’s to figure out?” Mel told me, before looking resigned and nodding in agreement.

**********************************************************************************************

PATRICK

I love Emmett. He didn’t even blink an eye when I suggested we get something to eat after walking all over the place. I didn’t want to be there when Gus got back. Not because it bothered me but to give my dads time to help him. Emmett thought it would be a good time to look around and get some ideas of where to have the wedding. Dad told Emmett they’d set a date after Emmett knew how long it would take to get the wedding off the ground.

“They’ve taken forever already, so we need to start getting busy,” Emmett tells me, taking me out the door with him.

Emmett was busy reading texts while we waited for our orders to get to us. At one text he looked up at me. I thought maybe he was amazed at how fast I inhaled the bread they set on the table, only he stopped the waitress and told her to bring more since I was a growing boy.

“Is something wrong?” I ask, reaching for my drink.

“Mel’s here,” He told me.

“Everyone sort of expected that,” I tell him.

“Carl and Deb came, wanting to hopefully talk some sense into her. The text I just got was Carl wanting to know if I could meet him and Jenny for lunch,” Emmett tells me.

“Do you want drop me off at home? I can go out with my friends,” I said, trying not to make him feel like it was me or them.

“I want to spend time with you, but I don’t want to invite them to meet you if it makes you uncomfortable. Jenny can be a bit much on anyone,” Emmett tells me.

“As long as she doesn’t say stuff about Dad, I can deal.” I told him, curious about the screeching girl.

“I think Carl wanted to see you anyway, since I texted him that I was spending time with you,” He tells me.

“Invite them. I promise not to bite her head off again,” I tell him.

“Gus mentioned you don’t hold back,” Emmett says, texting Carl to meet us.

Jenny walked in behind Carl, and I felt sorry for her. I could see her eyes were red rimmed, and she didn’t say anything when Carl introduced us. It was like all the fight was gone from her, and she was licking her wounds for now. It made me feel bad for her. Maybe she couldn’t help how she was with her life.

“How have you been?” Carl asks me, as Jenny hid behind the menu.

“Good. I got on the hockey team, and Da didn’t say no to cross country skiing yet,” I tell him.

“I’ll have to get the schedule for you from Justin,” Carl tells me, since he came to most of my events when he could.

“You have a schedule?” Jenny asks, not getting angry that Carl was in my life.

“I play a lot of sports, and my dad started making schedules for everyone, so they could plan who would be there,” I tell her.

“What about Lindsay?” Jenny asks, sounding slightly upset.

“She isn’t a part of my life,” I tell her.

“So it wasn’t just Gus and me,” She mumbled.

“Will it make you feel better to know she’s never acknowledged that I came from her? In her world, I couldn’t exist because it means remembering what made her stop caring if she lived or died. I guess I should be grateful I was born, you think?” I ask.

“Jenny, I thought you were willing to try to get along for Gus’s sake,” Carl says, looking disappointed.

“I’m sorry. Lately my life is making me act like a total…” Jenny stopped looking at Carl, then in deference to him, continued. “Spoiled brat. I don’t know what to do to get Gus to forgive me for the things I said to you.” She tells me.

“I don’t think it would take much, he put it off to what siblings do,” I offer, as my food finally got to me.

“Wow!” Was all Jenny could say at the burger that was put in front of me. If I could eat the whole sucker, my meal was free.

“How do you stay so thin?” Emmett asks in amazement.

“The kid never sits still except when food is in front of him,” Carl says, laughing.

We were walking out after I finished and got a tee shirt. I gave it to Jenny, since I already had a few in my closet. Carl and Emmett were talking and I wanted a chance to at least find a way to deal with each other for everyone's sake. It wasn’t like I saw us being besties or anything, just not making it harder on Gus to have both of us in his life.

“I don’t know how to feel about you, but I don’t want to make it so Gus is stuck refereeing between us,” I tell her.

“He used to joke he wished I was a boy. Now he has you,” She says shrugging.

“Do you really think that Gus couldn’t love you because he’s willing to get to know me, the screw-up?” I ask her.

“I shouldn’t have said that about you. I was just lashing out when Gus told me who you were. It hurt when it sounded like he was happy, while nothing in my life seems to be going right. My dad told me he couldn’t help me, that if my mom wants to move than I needed to go with her.” She tells me.

“What did you want him to say?” I ask, not willing to give my opinion on the man Nana told me about.

“That if we moved he wanted me closer to him and Grandma, yet he acted like I was bothering him by telling him about it,” She tells me, looking down at the sidewalk.

Carl turned around as if he’s been listening to us the whole time. Which I was glad for, since I didn’t know how to deal with crying girls. “No matter what Mel decides, Grandma and I will come wherever you are when you need us,” He assures her.

I hurried up to Emmett, since that made Jenny cry harder. Emmett and I both breathe a sigh of relief when Carl tells us he needs to pick up Deb. I beamed when Carl said Deb wanted to stop by and refill the freezer for me.

“She’s okay when she’s not yelling or crying.” I say to Emmett. Emmett’s answer was to laugh at my comment.