Title: Three for the Road
Story Type: AR
Word Count: 698
Rating: NC17
Warnings: None so far
Beta Queen: Bigj52

Summary: Car Talk…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable charters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Three for the Road

“It’s a beautiful day. I can’t wait to get out and let the sun and wind caress my glossy body.”

“Oh God! You are the most conceited piece of scrap metal I’ve ever heard. How old are you anyways? Pushing 40?”

“Fuck you! You haven’t been out in days… and you didn’t even clean up when you returned last time…”

“Yeah well, I’m still Young, and Beautiful, always have been, always will be… and it was me that was with them when they first met… I’ll always hold a special place in their hearts…”

“I’m sleek, elegant, fast and classic and dare I repeat myself, Beautiful… Besides have you seen my bluebook? So, sure I may have a few years on you but… you’ll never hold your value the way I do… I’m an investment, your transportation…”

“Yeah well, you’re all talk and no action… You may be eye candy but he can’t even get on his knees in you… I’m a fully-fledged fuck-mobile… My seats go all the way back and have you seen my hatchback? Come on, baby. You know you love my big shiny grill… and the boom, boom, boom of my sound system….”

“Oh God, put your dip stick back in your engine… I have never met a more arrogant, conceited, rusty box of tin in my whole life. Besides, you’re leaking oil all over the garage floor…”

“I thought you liked my thirty weight…”

“Shhhh… I think I hear something…”

The garage door slowly opens…

“Fuck! Who the hell is he… and why is he parking in our garage?”

“This is so wrong… I never saw this coming…”

Brian snaps off his helmet and sets it on the soft, black leather seat and enters the house…

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”

“Shhhh… he’s kind of cute; all that chrome and black steel, so sleek…”

“He’s a fucking foreigner…”

“He’s just a kid. So how fast do you go? Do you like to be called Beamer or are you more formal, Mr. BMW?”

“Would you stop flirting with him… and no, I’m not jealous…”

“Ignore him; he’s totally obsessed with himself… So I bet he looks great all decked out in black leather, riding you down the center lane, wind blowing, chrome sparkling, the feel of your engine between his legs…”

“God! There was a time when I thought I was the hottest thing to happen to him…”

“Well, I just hope he knows he’s responsible for his safety and well-being… I mean, I’m way safer than either of you… besides you’re both just “mid-life crisis” purchases…”

“I’m the responsible one; I’m the one he trusts with his precious cargo …”

“Yeah, we know. We can see the twin car seats in the back, not to mention all the cookie crumbs…”

“I’m the one that gets hand washed and detailed every week; you haven’t had a bath in months and your mud flaps are all crusted…”

“I’m the one that cradles that precious, blond bubble butt…”

“You’re also the one that smells like paint, turpentine and baby puke… neither one of us will ever experience that… he would never allow it… he so loves us…”

“Yeah, well…. You’re both headed for the big sleep… it is September and he’ll never allow either of you out in ice and snow once winter rolls around…”

“I’m the one he needs, the one he depends on, the one he trusts…”

“Again with the ego… I’m surprised you actually fit in the garage…”

“Shhhh… someone’s coming…”

“Brian… I can’t believe you bought a motorcycle…”

“Sunshine, this isn’t just a motorcycle… this is a BMW… this is a…”

“Widow maker… Brian, I want you safe; I want you around for a long time…”

“Sunshine…”

“Although you do look hot in all that black leather…”

“If it makes you feel better; I bought you a new leather outfit as well…”

“Really…”

“Oh God, here we go…”

“Do they do that a lot? I can’t even see; his windows are all steamed up…”

“I’m the man… I told you I’m part of the family… you’re both just eye candy… God, I love being a fuck-mobile…”

The End