JUNE 2006
Justin Taylor drank his morning coffee and then went over and inspected his latest art work on the workstation near the window of his room. The colors were just right, but the latest touches were not of his liking, there was so much more room for improvement.
He ran a hand through his blonde hair and then downed the rest of his coffee and went and grabbed a shower. Today he was getting his results and he was feeling a bit off color over it.
Shoving the dark thoughts to the back of his mind, he managed a few slices of toast, dumped the plate in the sink, grabbed his keys and was off.
QAF
Dressed in a black Tshirt and green-jeans, Justin flew down the fire escape and saw Lisa was waiting for him, "Lisa! I wasn't expecting you?"
Lisa laughed, "I've been thinking about you...I wanted to wish you luck"
Justin clutched his ruck-sack and gave her his trademark sunshine smile, "I'll be fine...you've said it, I've said it...I'll call you"
"You do that"
Lisa watched as Justin moved away up the sidewalk, he glanced at her briefly with a wave and crossed the street.
QAF
Justin didn't have to wait long before being called into Dr Colter's office at the hospital. He sat in a chair with the doctor opposite him with a computer terminal at his disposal.
"...with a diagnosis of Motor Neuron Disease...or MND"
Justin swallowed down not really taking all this in, "That's what I've got?"
Dr Colter nodded watching him carefully, "We are highly confident in our diagnosis and all the tests have come to the conclusions that point to the disease"
Justin had vaguely heard of it, "but that's an old person's disease, right?"
"Not necessarily...everybody is different and every diagnosis is not the same"
Justin remained calm. Too calm. Maybe it was just the shock. He cleared his throat looking at a painting he liked on the office wall.
"Did I get this from the bashing I told you about...that effected my fine neurons whatever it is"
Dr Colter knew what the boy was aiming to, "a trigger? Or a root cause? Maybe...but not exclusively..there may not be any link whatsoever"
He swallowed down and started to pick at his finger nail, "What...I mean...What's gonna happen to me..."
QAF
Justin walked the street in a daze. Everything around him, the people , their voices, the traffic, the police siren in the distance was all in a haze as Dr Colter's words were still in his mind.
"...weakness in your limbs will be progressive...there will be a gradual muscle deterioration...your muscles will not respond to your brains commands...tremors...rigors...loss of speech...loss of movement..."
Justin ducked into any back ally and leaned on a dumpster. He breathed hard and tried to get back his breath. This wasn't happening to him. Surely he was gonna wake up soon and discover this was all just a nightmare.
Once he settled himself he approached the street and started to walk home. He needed to get home.
QAF
Once home Justin sat on his bed and threw his ruck-sack to the floor. He held out his arm and looked at his hand he turned it and tried to clutch in the fingers. They responded and it was a bit shaky.
But for how longer till?
He looked across to his work station near the bright window. He stood and went over and looked down at his latest piece. It wasn't right. It just didn't look right.
He grabbed a brush and then found some water color just enough to dilute the green a touch. He carefully placed the brush into position but faffed around too much he ended up knocking the jar over and the water color flooded the work.
Justin's stress levels heated and in a flash of anger he picked the piece up and chucked it to the floor and stamped on the thing. The board broke and the canvass spread ripped in the middle.
He stood there staring down at his handy-work. If it wasn't fucked before, it was certainly fucked now.
There was paint on his sneaker, so he kicked it off and tossed it aside with his foot. He then went and sat on the bed again staring at the mess.
The door rapped.
He looked up and sniffed the tears back.
The door rapped again and then a voice, "Justin? Are you in there?"
It was Lisa. What did she want?
"Go away"
"But I thought we were going to that gay benefit thing near Central Park..."
Justin remembered but he wasn't up for that, "I've changed my mind...I've got too much work on"
There was a pause then Lisa called, "Did you get your results? What did they say?"
"They said...I'll talk to you tomorrow"
"What they will or YOU will talk to ME tomorrow?"
Justin laid back on the bed, "I'll call you tomorrow...I promise"
Behind the door Lisa stood on the landing with rainbow ribbons in her curls, "Well if you're sure"
She backed away and walked up the hall to the stairs.
Justin laid there for hours on his bed. Until it go dark and he wanted to forget the nightmare of today...
QAF
The nightclub was heated to high sweat levels and strobe color from the lights. Callum was leaning on the rail chatting up a good-looking stud he had lured off from the dance floor.
There was lust in Callum's dark eyes, "So wanna go fuck?"
The young stud licked his lips in anticipation and nodded towards the lower level, "dark room?"
Callum stroked the guys chest and took his arm, "lets go"
They were about to go down the stairs when a bare chested Justin came up and looked like he had far too much to drink already"
"Hey...", Callum said.
"Hey yourself", Justin slurred and leaned and and licked his lips.
"He's with me...", said the young stud in the tight vest.
Justin looked at him, "Fuck off"
Callum beamed a smile, this he liked, "Justin...mean and moody, I like it!"
Justin grabbed Callum's crotch tightly and was in his face, "Wanna FUCK!"
The other guy wasn't having this, he jabbed a finger at Justin, "I saw him first you dick! Fuck off or I'll make you"
Callum rolled his eyes and looked at him, "Fuck off..."
The guy almost did a double-take at that, "ME fuck off!"
Justin hinted a smirk and nodded, "You heard him *hic* fuck off you jerk"
The guy shook his head, "You two deserve each-other" and he was gone.
As Justin pawed at him and tried to kiss him Callum pulled away, "Hey wait...how much have YOU had to drink?"
Justin didn't care, "You wanna fuck me don't you? You are ALWAYS saying you wanna fuck me!"
Callum held his hands up and out of the way, "Not like this I don't"
Justin huffed and glared at him, "Give me some speed then"
Callum looked at him, "What?"
"Speed...give me some speed"
Looking about him discretely, Callum dug into his pockets for the clear bag of tablets, and handed one to Justin, "Have it on me blondie...forget what ever it is you are trying to forget"
Justin looked at the tablet in his palm and looked up to Callum and then he popped it into his mouth.
Within half an hour, Justin was in a happy daze. The music, the lights, the guys dancing all around him wanting a piece of him.
The sweat was pouring down his bare chest. His hair was soaked too. His heart raced. His vision was all glazed.
And guys were letching at him. Young guys, older guys, some sleazy looking men with their tongues hanging out at him and clutching their cocks.
Justin ended up on the floor. It was sticky and wet. There was men looking down at him, the dance music was growing distant... and then it all went dark.
QAF
Justin opened his eyes and he tried to focus around him. He relaxed when he realized he was back in his room. And then heard movement and saw Lisa in the kitchenette clearing up.
"How? How did I get here...", Justin began sitting up and rubbing his weary eyes.
Lisa turned around and approached him, "So...you are awake at last...", she stopped and looked down at him, "...Callum called me...I was wrong about him, he's not the creep I thought he was...we brought you home after you started tripping at the club..."
Justin tried to think back but couldn't even get a memory to surface.
"...but Justin, seriously? Speed...again?"
Justin felt bad, "Sorry"
Lisa then waved her hands about the room, "and...Justin, what- the- fuck? Look at your artwork...it's ruined"
Justin saw this latest piece was on the floor stamped on and where he had left it before he went out.
"Yeah...I wasn't happy with it"
"You're telling me!", Lisa said trying to scoop it off the floor and it ended up in two.
Justin looked away. Lisa put what was left of the work onto the counter and looked at him, "Justin...what's wrong? What's got into you...this is not you...this is totally out of character"
"Maybe it's started already?", he whispered.
Lisa frowned at him , "What has? Justin you are really freaking me out here"
Justin was teary eyed as he finally faced her, "My results...I got back my results"
"You said...but you didn't want to tell me what they told you"
Justin swallowed down, "You better sit down...I was when they told me..."
QAF
At the weekend, Justin rode the taxi cab to his mothers house in Pittsburgh. He had taken a flight out from New York Early. It was 10am.
How do I start this conversation with her? Can I deal with her freaking out and getting upset when I still can't get my head around this for myself.
Paying the driver, Justin got out and headed across to the front door. He paused but before he could even knock, his Mother was opening the door.
"Justin! I've been so worried!"
Jennifer gathered her son into a hug and pulled him inside. Justin pulled away and laughed, "Hiya mom"
Jennifer was all in a flap, "Dr Hall called for you...what's this all about? I mean, I had to call YOU when he phoned here..."
Where do I start? How do I tell her?
Justin dumped his bags in the sun porch and went into the kitchen, "Look...can I just get a cold drink or something...I've just come off a flight"
Jennifer nodded as she sat down and smoothed her hands over her knees, "Yes...of course you can, sorry"
Justin pulled the ripple on the can of coke and downed it in one and burped, "Gee...I needed that"
Jennifer stood again, "So...what is all this about? Dr Hall calls...asking to speak to YOU..."
How am I gonna tell her?
Justin came forward, " You better sit back down"
Her eyes focused on him, full of concern for her son, "Do I need to?"
"I do", he sat down and she sat down next to him on the sofa "Justin you are starting to scare me..."
There's no putting this off now...I have to tell her...
Justin swallowed down and looked at her, "Look, this is what I know...this is what the doctors have told me..."
XXX
Chapter End Notes:
Thank for reading x