JULY 2006
Justin Taylor had been back in New York for three weeks. The party was in full swing at a swish apartment in Manhattan that belonged to one of Callum's rich friends. The music was cranked up and there was dancing, drinking, taking drugs and the lot.
Lisa was with him. She drank her white wine and looked about her. The apartment itself was very well-to-do. There was expensive paintings on the walls and there were novelties to die for on display. Whoever this guy was, he was somekind of collector.
Justin came over to her in his bright pink T shirt, "Hey isn't this just great...you should see the porcelain in the bathroom...I THINK the fixtures are gold plated"
Lisa nodded looking at him, "Justin are you sure you are okay?"
Justin laughed at her, "Course I am! I wouldn't of come along if I wasn't okay"
"Even so...you should take it easy"
Callum was then approaching them with a big grin, "So...glad you came? How great is this place huh?"
Justin met his gaze, "It must of cost a fortune...how rich IS THIS guy!"
Callum laughed and pointed towards the bay windows, "You should go see the view...you can see the city lights all the way round...back a few years ago there was a great view of the twin towers"
Lisa shook her head and excused herself to go to the bathroom
"What's with her?"
Justin shrugged, "I dunno...maybe it's being here...the view and everything...her dad died in 9/11"
"Callum felt bad, "Shit man...I didn't know...how was I to know? Did he work in one of the towers?"
"North one...she says she still has nightmares..."
Lisa was then back with a drink in her tight grasp, "Sorry...I didn't think", began Callum feeling uncomfortable.
"What?"
"Errm...boy I need another drink", Callum was off, Lisa looked at Justin puzzled, "What was that all about?"
Justin looked apologetic, "I sorta told him about your dad and you know...the view"
"9/11? It's okay...I'm okay...I'm more worried about you"
"I'm fine"
Justin went into the bathroom and saw a bunch of guys snorting Cocaine. A dark guy gave him a wink and a wide smile and said, "You wanna loosen up and do a line?"
Justin was up for that, "Sure I do..."
The dark guy moved aside and let Justin snort up a line with a rolled up banknote.
"I'm Rob by the way", the dark guy said getting real close and personal to Justin.
"Justin"
Rob sniffed the coke up his nose and laughed, "gives you a real buzz, huh?"
Justin felt a bit lightheaded, "Yeah it does..cool"
"Frank's got poppers...maybe we all can have a private party in here, right guys?"
They all circled Justin...smiles...grin's...all looking or glancing at each-other knowingly in a very predatory stance. Justin felt a little uncomfortable, "I've gotta get another drink"
Justin was about to leave when Frank grabbed his arm, "Hey...stay...have some fun"
Justin swallowed down and looked towards the door as it opened, Callum stood there, "Hey Justin...I've got you a drink, lets go"
Justin forced himself out, Callum followed, "You gotta watch some of those guys man"
Justin nodded, "I know...it's okay...I can handle it"
Justin took his drink and headed over to the bay windows...the lights were pretty up here and he went out into the fresh air that made him feel nice and giddy...the drink and drugs working in his system.
He peered down and saw the lights of the traffic below. A plane soared over head and he could hear sirens in the distance. So different from Pittsburgh.
He closed his eyes. MND. He was thinking about it again. It was going to kill him in the end and he couldn't bear to think about that.
He looked down again. The music so loud from behind him. He climbed up onto the wall and looked down...he swayed abit as he watched the traffic. If he was to fall, it would be all over. He closed his eyes and let the beat of the music hypnotize him.
The breeze was in his face the music becoming distant as he drifted off with his thoughts.
He only had to sway forward and that was it...
A hand grabbed him and pulled him down to the veranda proper.
"You fucking idiot! What are you trying to do you crazy little fuck"
It was Callum and his face was angry. Justin grinned at him, "I was only kidding...I wasn't gonna jump or anything"
"If you've snorted a few lines on all the beer you've drank who knows what you will do"
"Ohhh loosen up will you"
Callum shook his head, "What's got into you? Just lately you seem to be on a different planet"
"I'm dying...for a drink", he laughed
He then dove through the french doors back into the apartment, Callum shook his head not really knowing why Justin was acting so weird.
QAF
In Pittsburgh, Brian was also out. He was at a club boasting to Michael about his latest conquest, "...and he rimmed by butt...couldn't get enough of me when I fucked him"
Michael pulled a face as they stood up on the railings looking down to the sweaty masses on the dance floor, "What's got into you lately? You acting like you don't give a fuck about anything or anyone"
Brian laughed as he eyed up another protential fuck, "That's right...life is...I mean...it's all bullshit anyway"
Michael took a swig of his beer from the bottle and looked at him watching this guy...eyes dark with the hint of a jungle predator spotting it's prey, "Have you spoken to Justin?"
Brian replied without even looking back at Michael, just focusing on his chosen guy, "Justin's having the time of his life...and I'm glad for him...he needs to make the most of life"
Michael put his hand over Brian's shoulder, "I know it's been hard for you...a long distance relationship was never gonna work out"
Brian briefly glanced at him, "and you're an expert are you?"
Michael shook his head, "No...but...I mean...I've had my heart broken and I KNOW what that feels like"
Brian laughed out loud and then his face changed and his mood became quite dark, "Look...if I wanted your advice on broken hearts then I would have made an appointment to see your husband...but seeing since I am doing this MY WAY...there is something YOU can do for ME"
Michael was all ears, anything to help his best friend, "What?"
"FUCK-OFF-MIKEY!"
Brian was then off in pursuit of his latest notch on the bedpost, Michael could only watch on as Brian moved towards the dancing stud and then they both made their way to the backroom without even the word of a conversation...it was just a fuck as always.
Michael finished his drink and decided to he'd call Ben to let him know he wasn't gonna leave the club until Brian was ready to.
And that wasn't going to go down well with Ben at all.
QAF
In New York at the same time Brian was fucking a random stud in the backroom, Justin was stood on the platform waiting for a subway train. Lisa was with him.
"I'm glad we left the party when we did...those guys were allover you"
Justin wasn't listening. He was standing right at the edge of the platform and looked down to the rails. There was only 5 or 6 others waiting for the train with them.
"I wonder if you KNOW when you've been hit by one of the trains as it comes in"
Lisa came forward, took Justin's arm and pulled him back from the edge, "I don't think I want to know"
Justin looked at her, "I do...I mean...it'll be quick, wouldn't it? I mean...not like me...with this disease shutting down my entire body...and taking so long, you have nothing to do but live and wait...", he looked to the edge again, "But that'll be so quick...you might not even know"
Lisa was concerned, "Justin...are you still coked up? You are talking complete bullshit again"
Justin pulled a face at her, "I'm not talking bullshit...am I?"
Lisa tried to empathize the fact, "You are talking about throwing yourself in front of a fast moving train...Justin what the fuck!"
Justin realized he was airing out his dark thoughts, "sorry...I didn't mean to freak you out...I won't do it...not today anyway"
"Justin!"
"Come on i'm just joking...I'm being a jerk...sorry...hey,look it's coming and I am not jumping, see"
The train screeched to a stop into the station and the doors slid open, Lisa lead the way and they sat inside.
For a while, they sat in silence then Lisa turned her head, she could see both their reflections in the window, "You wouldn't kill yourself would you?"
Justin laughed, "No way!"
"It's just when you say things like you did..."
"Forget it...It's just me being a total jerk...I'm really am okay...I'm owning this!"
He smiled at her for reassurance.
She smiled back and nodded her head, "Good"
She looked away and as she did, Justin rolled his head to look back out the window where he watched his fake smile start to fade away in the reflection...
QAF
The next morning proved to be a sorry state for Brian as he sat there with his head in his hands in one of the booths at Liberty diner.
"Just look at him! He looks worse for wear", commented Debbie to Michael as she took his order.
"He said he didn't get in till after 5am"
"Really? And it's a 'school night?'"
Michael shook his head, "yeh...I think he's taken his split from Justin worse than we thought"
Debbie watched as Brian sat back up and looked over with bleary eyes.
"He does look a bit depressed...hey Brian, you okay?"
Brian widened his eyes and pointed to himself with a forced on grin, "Who me? I'm doing just great...in-fact for your information I've never felt so good!"
Michael gave his mother a knowing look, "See..."
QAF
That same morning in Central Park, Justin strolled with Lisa in the morning sun.
"I just don't know how long I can keep this secret for...I mean I need money and the bar work is all I've got"
Lisa looked at him, "Have your symptoms got any worse?"
He shook his head, "No"
"Well then...what's the problem? You enjoy bar work don't you flirting with all those hot guys"
Justin pulled a sigh, "I know...but I just can't stop thinking about it...you know the future and what it is gonna bring"
Lisa remembered something and tapped him, "Hey, have you called your Mom?"
Justin had to smile, "Yes I have...and she asks me the same boring questions EVERY DAY...I should invest in a tape recorder"
They walked beneath some trees and saw the looming City skyline ahead, "Is this the real reason why you've split from Brian...all this he's getting old shit and you starting to feel differently"
Justin turned, "I was feeling different..now I know why...I miss him...but at the same time I don't want a boyfriend who's gonna stay with me outta pity..."
Lisa stopped at a set of steps and turned, "Would he pity you?"
Justin knew the truth the way he saw it, "Brian wouldn't admit to it...but he tries to keep everybody happy, and if it made me happy if he stayed, he'll stay...he'll do it regardless of how he feels"
Lisa glanced at her phone, "Crikey! Is that the time?"
Justin frowned at her, "You gotta be someplace?"
Lisa nodded as she quickened her pace up the steps to the pathway, "Yeah, the gallery, I..."
Justin caught up with her, "What's so important that you forgot to tell me about?"
Lisa was feeling really bad and decided to come clean, "Justin I'm sorry, I have a couple of pieces on show..."
Justin nodded, "Okay...that's good..."
"Yeah...somebody is interested"
"That's great!"
Now the confession, "Justin, it's the client who was interested in your works..."
Justin didn't know what to say, "Huh-huh...okay"
"I really hope you don't mind...it could be a real starting block for me"
Justin did feel a little annoyed if he was honest, and maybe a little jealous as well, "Jump into my grave why don't you"
He instantly felt bad and quickly caught up with her, "I'm sorry...no...I mean congratulations, you deserve a sale...long last, huh?"
Lisa removed her sunshades, "You really don't mind?"
"Why should I? And what would be the point if I did mind? The client buys what he likes, and that's yours"
She smiled and carried on, Justin not really knowing how he really felt about this followed...it really had dawned on him that his art career was now well and truly over.
XX