Lindsay woke up early, had a shower, picked one of her earth mother outfits - Debs had the early shift at the diner and Lindsay was a woman on a mission - and slipped out of the house 5 minutes before Mel's alarm is supposed to ring. Lindsay was still seething from everything that happened the night before. Not only was she being forced to share her "Brian Kinney baby mama" hardly fought for status with Melanie of all people, but she had to suffer the public humiliation of witnessing Mel getting a new car as well as the private humiliation of almost begging Brian's trick to put her baby daddy on the phone. Desperate times call for desperate measures; it was time to join forces with Gay Pittsburg's most famous whiny idiot. Imagining little Mikey's face when she would tell him about the trick who wouldn't let go of the phone almost made her forget Mel getting the new car. Poor idiot was going to throw a tantrum and call Brian in hysterics. While the hysterics won’t help anyone get to the bottom of things, they will make her meltdown pale in comparison. She felt proud of herself for the being the first one to ever find a use of Michael’s whiny existence.

She parked in front of the diner and got out of the car. She could swear the car was making strange sounds. But that was lie for another day.

She carefully made her way into the diner. She was pregnant after all.

Michael was already in the so-called family booth nursing a coffee and looking tired. He’d spent the whole night trying to get a hold of Brian. He kept leaving messages until he filled the memory. Then he had called Ted. Unfortunately for him, Blake was the one to pick the phone. It was safe to say that he got his comics clad ass handed to him by his least favorite twink. For the time being that is.

“Good morning Michael. How are you doing today?”

Not that I can’t guess by your pout and you’re going through a Brian withdrawal phase, she wanted to add. But she needed the little idiot on her side.

“Not good.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want to be the one responsible of souring your good mood.”

Deb stopped by their booth, refilled Michael’s coffee cup and asked Lindsay if she wanted anything.

“Thank you but no. I already had a cup of coffee. I’m not allowed a second one.”

Deb felt like Lindsay had more to say. Never one to put her job ahead of her curiosity, she pushed in the booth next to Michael.

Lindsay smirked inwardly. Michael was on slapping distance. He’d better watch his mouth when talking to her.

“So Linds, what’s going on?”

“Yesterday night I called Brian and you wouldn’t believe what happened!”

“Oh that’s easy! He didn’t pick up.”

First slap on the head.

“Shut the fuck up asshole. Let her speak. I want to know what happened. You were saying Linds?”

“He wasn’t the one to pick up.”

Knowing that Michael was not going to get it on his own, she continued her story.

“Some guy answered and made me beg him, beg him, to allow me to speak with Brian.”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?”

Oh the dreaded Novotny screech!

“And that’s not all of it! He actually knew who I was. Once I told him that I was the woman pregnant with Brian’s baby, he called me Lindsay.”

“So you got to speak with Brian?”

“Of course, I’m pregnant with his baby.”

Even Deb rolled her eyes.

“You mean you’re Brian and Mel’s baby incubox.”

“What the fuck is an incubox?”

“You know where they put the things so they become a baby.”

That earned him a hard slap from his mother.

“An incubator you moron! Well this incubator got to speak to your ‘best friend’ while, judging by your pouting, you’re not being able to do.”

Finally, he took the bait and called Brian. He was in for a big surprise.

This time Justin and Brian only exchanged looks before Justin answered.

“Hello.”

“What the fuck is going on Brian?”

Justin chuckled. The best friend who couldn’t recognize his best friend’s voice.

“This isn’t Brian. Who is it and how may I help?”

“Who the fuck are you? Where’s Brian? Does he know you’re answering his phone?”

“Well, since you’re the one calling, you’re the one who should introduce himself. Haven’t you learned anything about decorum in life?”

Brian was biting his forearm to contain his laughter. Michael and decorum really don’t go in a pair. I mean, have you seen the idiot, and I use the word very loosely, eating?!

“What does decoration have to do with you answering my best friend’s phone?”

“Decoration? Never mind Mikey. Could you wait a minute? I’m going to call Bri.”

“Don’t call me Mikey asshole!”

“Do you want to speak with Brian?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying for an hour!”

“So Mikey, shut up and let me call him!”

Michael was about to have an aneurysm. Both Lindsay and Deb were wondering what the other man could be telling Michael to drive him bat shit crazy. Well, Lindsay could imagine, but Deb was completely lost.

Brian took a couple of deep breath to control himself and braced himself for a Mikey attack. Thinking that the man he thinks of as his bratty brother was the one shouting like a fool was quite depressing. But he didn’t really care anymore.

“Hey Mikey! What do you want?”

“What do I want? What do I want? Who is this asshole who answered your phone? I don’t get to answer you phone! What is going on Brian?”

“What asshole?”

“The one I was talking to a minute ago.”

“You mean the man with a tight asshole, not that you would know that, you were just talking to? That’s Justin. Anyway what do you need?”

“Since when do you remember your trick’s names, tell them about your life or allow them to answer your phone?”

At that point, the whole diner was openly listening to Michael’s shouting. The news was too good to pass on.

“Who said anything about a trick? Justin is not a trick! What did you want? I’m busy.”

“What the fuck do you mean he’s not a trick?”

You could feel the whole avenue shutting up. This was the biggest news since Brian Kinney first appeared. Life just got more interesting.

“He’s my partner. I’ll be introducing him to the family when we come back to the Pitts?”

“He’s with you now?”

Michael’s observation skills had no match.

“He fucking answered my phone, the phone I am using right now to speak to you. Where the fuck do you think he is?”

“What do you mean your partner?”

Oh it had finally dawned on Whiny Mikey!

“Exactly what partner means. Seriously Michael why did you call? I have more important things to do that listening to your screeching!”

“Your fucking partner? What about me? What about us?”

“What about you? It has nothing to do with you!”

“What about us Brian?”

“Goodbye Michael. I’ll see you at Ma when I come back.”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me your fucking asshole”

Too late.