CHAPTER TWO: EXPECTATION VERSUS REALITY

DAVID

I’m almost sad to tell Hank that I officially have yet another failed relationship. There was my first fully-realized homosexual relationship with Daniel. He was a nice enough guy, but we wanted different things. Ordinarily, that wouldn’t have been a bad thing, except that I had introduced him to Hank and things went downhill from there. It wasn’t that he minded that Laurie and I shared a son; just that she called for every little thing, turning it into a catastrophe. The final straw came when I had to leave an awards ceremony I was attending with him as the honoree, and she called because of being supposedly stranded with Hank in the car. 

By the time I called Triple A to have the car towed, and met her at the house, I found out that Hank had been with a babysitter the entire night, and the sparkplugs on the car had been deliberately tampered with. Of course, Laurie confessed all of this while standing naked in the doorway of her home, two glasses of red wine in hand, with a salacious smile on her lips. Instead of castigating her then and there for interrupting my evening for yet another play to fuck up my relationship, I turned and left, hoping to get back the ceremony in time for Daniel to give his acceptance speech. Unfortunately, when I arrived, I’d found that Daniel had also gone… immediately after receiving his award.

I arrived at our condo a short time later to discover him packing. He told me that I didn’t need to explain anything; that my ex-wife had explained everything to him. When asked what he meant by that, Daniel promptly informed me that unless she approved of whom I dated, she would NEVER allow me to have a relationship. In Laurie-speak, it meant that her replacement was never supposed to outshine her in any facet of her life. Considering that Daniel was receiving a humanitarian award for his company’s efforts to rehabilitate and offer former inmates a valid way not to end up in jail again, I suppose I could see where her jealousy would have come to the forefront. 

Add to that the fact that Hank really loved and respected Daniel, and Laurie became the ex-wife from hell, even going so far as to threaten the business he’d worked so hard to revive. Sadly, we both knew that her threats weren’t idle. Although born and raised a debutante and taught to defer to either her father or her husband in all things, Laurie still maintained an autonomy that was unmatched, which included all sorts of contacts that could make trouble for Daniel’s prison reform efforts. I tried to talk him out of leaving, but he said that his people needed him, which is what he always called the men, women, and children he helped. His people. It was also that he was tired of fighting with Laurie.

So he left on that night nine years ago, and although we’ve kept in touch, he officially moved on after two of them. When I’d introduced him and his partner, Adrian, to Michael, it wasn’t hard to see the same anger and jealousy that was in Laurie flare up within Michael. It didn’t help matters that she was at the same function as we all were, and kept up a steady stream of sly comments and innuendos especially in comparing Daniel and Michael. It didn’t matter to her that she had her own new husband there, as long as she could once again throw her witchy wrench into my life. The disparity between Daniel and Michael was more than evident, and I didn’t need her vocal input to point it out. 

“See, David, now this is what I’m talking about,” she said. “Had Daniel been more like Michael, then you would still be together.”

Michael had smiled that shit-eating grin he always had when he felt someone was agreeing with his own opinion of himself. “Thank you for saying that, Laurie. I’m glad someone recognizes my suitability for David.” He looked pointedly at Daniel and Adrian when he'd say it, even as I was hardpressed not to roll my eyes at his childishness.

“I’m so sure,” she said nastily, but it was lost on Michael. Like most things contrary to what he believes, I think in retrospect. 

Many, including Daniel and Adrian, repeatedly asked me what I saw in Michael. I suppose that I can answer honestly now that he’s gone, whereas I refused to think about the answer before. It wasn’t only his seeming childlike innocence that made me chase Michael. It was that if Michael Novotny had been born a woman, he probably would have made a perfect fifties wife, just like my mother was. She was intelligent in her own right, but her education was based more on home and hearth rather than a career outside the home.

The second thing was that he fed my ego. The fact that I pursued Michael while in the middle of my midlife crisis, speaks a heaven-high stack of volumes. At that point, all of my friends had been in solid relationships for well over at least five years, while I was still the one chronically alone. I can’t even blame it on the fact that Hank was at the impressionable age where I didn’t want a whole lot of ‘Uncles’ running in and out of his life. In all honesty, it took me just about six years to even want to try another relationship after Daniel. 

I mean, there was always something just wrong about all of the other men. Whereas Niles was funny, he also never took anything seriously, regardless of the situation. With Gary, he was always so damn serious that he even made the pompous stuffed shirts of our social class seem as if they were stand-up comics. It was so fucking hard to find someone like Daniel: intelligent, yes, but with a sense of humor that was relatable, regardless of his audience. There were others to be certain, but none of them was the man who ultimately was forced to leave me due to a woman with a continent-sized God-complex. 

So enter Michael, with his childlike innocence, and self-deprecation that I’d originally found irresistible. His humble roots gave him this down-to-earth persona that for someone like me was incredibly hard to resist. At least, that’s the way he appeared when I’d first met him. It wasn’t until later that I discovered that while clearly uneducated, he hid a shrewd and calculating mind in reference to playing people just how he wanted them. Michael, at best, is a chameleon, and at worst, he’s a fucking nightmare come to life. 

It took my son telling me what he’d observed, and one fateful phone call to confirm what I really hoped I wasn’t seeing in the man I’d asked to move here and make a life with us. But the more I’d heard; the more I began to take notice of, the more I realized that I had once again made an egregious mistake in the world of romance. And really, it was no one’s fault but my own. In my arrogance, I didn’t heed all the warning signs that I should have left Michael alone after the first date where he couldn’t talk about anything other than his job at the Big Q, his obsession with comics, and most of all, his best friend. Even Melanie tried to warn me in her own way about Michael, even though she was more concerned about telling me about Michael in reference to Brian from her own jaded perspective. 

But I suspect even that point of view is changing since it was the call to her that finally yielded Justin’s cell number. 

Like Melanie, I would absolutely love to heap the blame for our relationship woes onto Brian Kinney’s shoulders. But in my case, especially, I can’t do that. Because he ultimately did what I’d asked him to do… he let Michael go. At the risk of everyone- and I mean, EVERYONE- being pissed with him, he threw Michael what was really a farewell party, so that I could have a real chance with him. If I had known then what I know about Michael now, I wouldn’t have been such a sanctimonious idiot towards the man who seemed to have been charged by Deb since he was fourteen to keep Michael’s troublemaking ass from getting kicked. Unfortunately, that responsibility has come at a price that Brian is once again about to pay.

I still find it funny that while Michael consistently refers to Justin as the twink- amid a host of other unflattering names- he constantly forgot that the age difference between him and I was more than the twelve-year difference between his best friend, and his nemesis. And yet, in all facets, Justin is much more mature than Michael could ever hope to be. Perhaps it was the young man’s upbringing. After all, I grew up in elite society so I’m well-versed in what that particular education in social etiquette entails. But it’s actually so much more than that since I know that Brian had an upbringing similar to Michael’s and yet the man is as elegant as one born into money. 

No, what keeps Brian Kinney enthralled of Justin Taylor is so beyond age, sex, and social class that it’s both amazing and unbelievable that out of billions of people in the world, those two just happened to find each other under a streetlight a few short months ago. What I’m discovering about the two of them beyond Michael and Lindsay’s jaded point of view, is that while Justin is young, he’s also driven just like Brian is. From my research about him, I found that Justin has actually been working steadily since he began high school; something that I’m sure Michael never even considered when he was fourteen. Hell, even at thirty, he didn’t even consider it much. Oh, I hold no illusions that the arguments Michael insisted on starting were in any real way about his self-sufficiency. 

No, they were more about his attention-seeking than anything, which makes me even angrier and puzzled that the words narcissistic, selfish, and Peter Pan- that last one spat in the last few weeks of frustration that he thought I couldn’t hear- comes out of his mouth in reference to Brian when Michael Novotny is all those things and more. I may not agree with the way Brian Kinney chooses to live his life, but he’s undoubtedly earned the right to do so. The fact that he works longer hours than anyone I know, including me, makes up for any deficiency in personality to me. It’s almost too bad that I couldn’t see that back in Pittsburgh, only hear the constant complaining litany from his supposed best friend. It might have changed all of my interactions with the man, and his partner. 

For that is exactly what Justin Taylor is; Brian’s partner. Which leads me back to the situation concerning Justin… When Hank asked me about him the first time, I couldn’t figure out why he wanted to know. He’d only met the young man one time when he visited me in Pittsburgh. It was the afternoon that I’d introduced Hank to Debbie and Vic. Justin was there preparing for finals, with what seemed to be a mountain of books in front of him while Vic and Deb were folding laundry. Van McCoy’s The Hustle was coming from the radio in the kitchen, even as Deb and Vic danced around while Justin sat there in horrified amusement at the antics of the older adults.

The thing I think made Hank curious about the young blond was that Justin seemed to really enjoy their company, more than I would imagine he would have kids his own age. It’s something that I’d noticed anytime he was around without Daphne, although when she was around I noticed the same thing about her too. It was like he was soaking up the interactions with them; taking in the experiences to file away for later. To Hank, it presented a different way to look at his own enforced associations with the adults in his life, especially Laurie. But more importantly, when Justin had noticed Hank, he didn’t hesitate in introducing himself and engaged my son in conversation that he really seemed interested in.

So from that one brief encounter, I’d noticed a change in Hank. Sure, the fact that Justin was with Brian bothered me a little. I mean, Justin was in his late teens whereas Brian was a full-grown man. And as a father, I couldn’t help but wonder what I would do if Justin was my son. But Vic had explained the situation with Justin in a way that Michael had not. Knowing of his rejection by Craig Taylor angered me in a way that I hadn’t been in a long time, but it also produced newfound respect for Justin that hadn’t been there prior. 

Then when Justin politely excused himself from his conversation with Hank briefly to take a BUSINESS call… Well, it was then that I realized there was even more to the young blond than just someone who I considered underage. After the phone call, Hank asked Justin what type of business he had, and he’d explained to Hank that there were various forms of art Justin engaged in to hone his craft. Vic and Deb then pointed to their newly-redesigned coffee table, which had originally come from a thrift store when they’d first bought Debbie’s house. However, Justin had refinished it and added a marbleized effect that made the twenty-dollar table look like it cost more than the entire contents of their living room. 

As I looked at that piece of art- for that is what it really became- I couldn’t help but marvel at the young man who’d created it. What was even more interesting was that while it held the same kind of veins a standard marble table would, Justin had added the things and people of Vic and Deb’s era that they loved into the design. Small portraits of them as teenagers, the band Jefferson Airplane and Grace Slick, Joan Jett and Jimmy Hendrix, pictures from Stonewall, Vic in a chef’s outfit and Debbie in her waitressing outfit holding a young Michael… All of it was hand-painted with a marbleized backdrop on top of a table that costs just twenty dollars. It was amazing! 

But even more amazing was Justin’s advice to Hank. ‘Find your niche market, and build on that. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too young to start investing in yourself.’ And as a result, he has already begun increasing his investment portfolio. You guessed it... Hank’s passion is money, and he’s been doing one helluva job so far with taking his allowance and investing it. 

He seems to have a knack for knowing when to buy and when to sell. And he’s been helping his friends, who are like-minded. It’s why Michael had reason to be jealous of my son. Because even at twelve, Hank is a driven young man who has found a great role model. So when Hank had come to me a few weeks ago to tell me of the conversation he’d overheard between Michael and Lindsay, it wasn’t hard to discern how angry he was. 

He told me of the plot to permanently separate Brian and Justin; something I just couldn’t see or understand happening knowing how close Brian and Justin had become. No, we weren’t friends exactly, but knowing all that Justin had been through in recent months, I wouldn’t begrudge him his happiness. The thing that was most troubling to Hank was that although the conversation itself seemed almost innocuous, there was a definite air of jealousy on both Michael and Lindsay’s parts. Which was confirmed for Hank the minute Michael would hang up the phone and begin mumbling to himself about invasive fucking twinks, and how he was going to make Brian return to being the Brian he supposedly loved if it killed him. Hank said that Michael suffered from ‘Cool Kid Syndrome’, which is what he’d taken to calling the hangers-on at his school who would do anything, say anything, and be anything to be considered part of the in-crowd. 

And as Hank began to fill me in on his observations of his classmates who suffered from the delusion of their importance to the cool kids, I couldn’t help but see the same similarities in Michael and Lindsay. I also couldn’t help but flashback to my conversation with Melanie and compare it to all that I’ve seen with my own eyes but didn’t want to believe about Michael’s character. But the thing that confirmed it the most was the soundbyte I’d received from Justin at my request, of the numerous messages that Michael had been leaving for him at various points since we’d moved to Portland. It made me feel like such a fucking blind fool, to have been so arrogant in thinking that removing Michael from Pittsburgh would curb his compulsion to interfere in Brian’s life. He even blamed Justin for Brian NOT telling him that the New York job fell through, when it wasn't Justin's place to do so, but Brian's if he wanted Michael to know. Which apparently he didn't, since Brian still hasn't spoken to Michael about it that I know of. 

Then in another voicemail, Michael went on to yell that if was the last thing he did, Brian would not only return to his throne as the King of Liberty Avenue, but Justin’s ass would be kicked to the curb as soon as he found the most effective way to accomplish it. In a later message, Michael basically bullied Justin into taking an internship position and scholarship opportunity that Lindsay had set up for him; almost-crowing that Brian would forget Justin in a heartbeat when his ass was three-thousand miles away and that Justin’s gold-digging ass would no longer be able to whore himself for Brian’s dime. Which, according to Michael, was all Justin was worth as a person. It made me wonder what Michael would do to me and Hank when we no longer served his purpose, whatever it was. Would he go so far as to ruin us if it meant getting back to Brian? I mean, if Michael could engage in this sort of backstabbing to someone he’d known for over half his life, what would keep him from doing the same to me and my son, whom, while he said he loved us has proven that his words were worthless?

It’s why I knew I had to send him away… because my judgment was proving to be faulty as hell when it came to Michael Charles Novotny.

The front door opening pulls me out of my reverie for a moment, so I get back to chopping up the vegetables I was supposed to be putting into the slow-cooker for dinner. We might just end up ordering a pizza, even though I’ll still make this. It’ll just have to be for dinner tomorrow night.

Hank comes in smiling. “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, Hank. How was school?”

“Great!” He says, putting down his book bag and heading to the fridge to grab up some of the lemonade he knows I made for him. 

It’s sort of a ritual with us since I make a pitcher for him every morning before I leave for work. If he was staying at Laurie’s, I would take it over to her house on the way to the office so that when he came home, it would be waiting for him. It was something my own father used to do for me, even during my sports seasons. Strangely, it’s a tradition that even now we keep whenever I go over to visit him and mom in their Beverly Hills home.

“Dad,” Hank says, after taking a long draught and smacking his lips in pleasure. I almost want to laugh since for all his teenagery ways, he still reminds me of the precocious four-year-old I’d first made the drink for. I can’t help the feelings of amusement, fear, and excitement assailing me as I look at him now. “Have you given any more thought to what I asked you on Wednesday after He who shall remain a bad memory left?”

It's how he has taken to referring to Michael as of late when he wasn’t around. Hank is very, VERY loyal, and the fact that Michael was ultimately trying to hurt a young man whom Hank considers a friend and mentor… Well, let’s just say that if Michael could have been physically kicked back to Pittsburgh, Hank would have taken care of that task personally. “I have,” I answer my son, who is regarding me with a look of expectation.

“Good. And what have you decided?”

“About what?”

“DAD!” he yells in exasperation, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Oh, alright. Alright, Hank, I get it,” I resign myself to not kidding around with him anymore since I know how important this is to him. “So, the first thing I know you’ll be interested in is that I spoke to Charles, and he said that everything is still in place for the custody agreement.”

“YEAH! That means I can go over there and pack what little I still have over there.” He fist-pumps in the air, and I can’t say that I blame him for that. 

The knowledge that Laurie’s role in both of our lives is about to become severely limited is a definite blessing. Sadly, I’m beginning to see the similarities in our relationship as what Brian’s will potentially become when dealing with Lindsay Peterson. And I really MUST stop comparing the two of us! But although we seem to live completely different lives, our individual situations look to be running parallel. In a lot of ways, that’s very disconcerting.

I mentally shake myself from that train of thought to explain how things will work for us going forward. “So once you’re thirteen…”

“In four days!”

“The custody agreement where I'll have full custody of you, and Laurie will have the visitation, takes full effect, including the support order. And whatever is left in the account thus far, is to revert back to you and I. Your college fund is still intact; I just checked this morning.”

“But what about your job?”

I smile at him then. Hank’s biggest worry in all of this has been Laurie’s influence within polite society. It’s been the reason we’ve seemingly had to walk on eggshells at times. She’s never been above using it to make Hank bend to her will by threatening to make my life a living hell. So it’s going to give me pleasure to tell him this next part.

“I spoke to the owner of the Trailblazers, and my job isn’t in danger. In fact, he’s even spoken to his brother, who as you know, owns the 49ers. So, all I need to do is be available to travel on a moment’s notice during both seasons, which shouldn’t be that much of an issue.”

“So we can move?!” he asks, excitedly.

“Yes, we can but… are you sure you want to do that?”

He seems to think about it for a moment, and then smiles wide. “As long as it’s before the official school year starts, I don’t see a problem. The AP courses I’m taking now are transferable and will be accepted without a problem. I asked the guidance counselor in preparation for this conversation. It helped that I skipped a couple of grades, and I’m officially on the fast track to graduating a few years earlier than I was supposed to. I hope you don’t mind, Dad. I was… I was just hopeful that for once things would work out the way we wanted them to,” he tells me while looking impossibly young in this moment.

I wipe my hands on the dishtowel, before going over to embrace him. “Never apologize for taking the initiative when it comes to your education, Hank. In fact, I’m very proud of you for knowing to ask the right questions even before I asked them. It’s making my willingness to do this that much easier.”

“So we are officially moving to the Hills,” he breathes. And it’s that sound that lets me know just how much strain and pressure he’s been under. Not because of school, but because of Laurie and her protege, Michael. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me!”

I chuckle. “I can just about guess. I’ve already told your grandparents, so they are getting everything ready for us from their end.”

“Where will we be living?”

“In the smaller mansion on their property.”

“Great! I’ve always liked that house. But San Fran is…”

“About six hours drive, so I’ll rent a small condo there during the season and I’ll keep this place for when I have to be in Portland. But the owners said that we’ll work out a schedule so that I can still be home with you the majority of the time.”

“Good… but maybe now you can take that guy up on his offer to take you out to dinner?”

“Hank…”

“Nope! Not hearing you, Dad. Let’s face it. Michael Novotny is no great loss, and you were NOT one-half of the greatest love story ever told. You may have loved him, but you were never IN love with him the way you tried to tell yourself you were.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Hello! I lived with Mom, and she falls in love like every other half a day,” he says sarcastically, causing me to laugh. “So I know the difference through observation. The bottom line is that Professor B is transferring to Pepperdine University in Malibu. He got tenure, beginning in August. Soooo now that it’s the beginning of July…”

I laugh then. Apparently, my son has a future in matchmaking. “Alright, Hank. Well, maybe, but let’s just get everything settled first, and then we can talk about dates and such, okay?”

“Sure,” he says, gratified for the moment. “I just know that the two of you are much better suited than you and He who made my IQ drop just talking to him for more than thirty seconds at a time.”

“Hey. I thought you liked Michael.”

“I did, but in small doses. He was entirely too high-strung from the onset. But then with what he was trying to do to Justin… Well, that took what little like I had for him and turned it into something bordering hate. And I didn’t want to continue being like that. Besides, he reminded me too much of Mom, and that’s never a good thing.”

Instead of responding, I just pulled him close and hugged him again, realizing that if no one else had my back, this boy on the cusp of manhood sure did. And if there was one person to thank for being an example of that kind of loyalty to my son, it was Justin Taylor.