CHAPTER EIGHT: WHY CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS

MELANIE:

Me, Brian, and Gabriel are currently sitting here waiting for the emergence of Judge Martin Barrows from inside of his office, who has been called in due to the nature of Gus’ case. The only saving grace I have right now is his knowledge that instead of being home with our son I’ve been working my ass off well into the evening hours. In fact, I’ve appeared before him eight times within the last month alone, while trying case after case with the Family Law circuit. It’s why Gabe decided that we should contact him about the immediate removal of Lindsay’s parental rights. It turns out that she’s been even more of a danger to him than we ever thought possible.

After I arrived at the hospital last night they took Gus to the pediatric unit while I was down in Emergency. Duane told me that it was standard policy that I couldn’t go with Gus, predominantly for safety concerns, since I still needed to be cleared of all potential charges. I wanted to argue, but I knew it was futile at that point. I just wanted to hold my son and not let him out of my sight. So, after much debate, and because of the extenuating circumstances as Jennifer had pointed out to him, he allowed Dusty to go with Gus while Marie stayed with me.

Imagine my surprise to learn that when the toxicology report came back, it was discovered that Gus had trace amounts of amphetamines in his blood. It also had trace amounts of the drug frequently found in diet pills. Everyone used to marvel at how Lindsay was dropping the baby weight so fast, and the bitch would laud constantly about Gus NOT taking her metabolism. But in reality, she’s been poisoning our son through what was supposed to be the most nutritious sustenance in the world for a baby! And she must have kept doing it, even after her damn milk dried up in her tits.

“I can feel your agitation from over her, Mel. So either share with the class, or stop all that fucking fidgeting!” Brian snaps at me. 

Honestly, my first inclination is to snap back. No one gets to just simply yell at me and have me stand there and take that shit. But I realize that if I am stressed, he’s even moreso, and like me, is holding himself responsible for not seeing what that she-devil was doing to Gus right under our noses. It’s probably even worse for him because, like it or not, he’s known Lindsay even longer than I have. But fuck! I lived with her and never saw any of this coming either.

I huff out a breath, before voicing my thoughts. “I think the toxicology report is accurate, Brian. However, I think this has been going on for so much longer than we originally thought. I keep thinking back to a month after Gus was born, how Lindsay couldn’t wait to show me the scale and practically crowing at the weight she had lost. Initially, I thought she was just simply taking the doctor’s advice in regards to nursing Gus. Ironically, it’s the same advice they give to all women who decide to breastfeed…”

“I don’t want to talk about that sow’s tits,” Brian grumbles, and I’m almost hard-pressed not to laugh at his sudden discomfort. But hey! At least he’s not yelling right?

I bite back the smirk threatening to burst forth at his comment. “I know that Lindsay’s tits is not on your favorite list of things to discuss, Brian, but you have to hear me out on this. It’s just a theory, but it will also explain a lot about why her slow poisoning of Gus escaped both our notice.”

Gabriel interrupts then. “Are you saying that based on the tox report, Lindsay might have been taking these two very dangerous substances, even while nursing?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Gabe. And if she was…”

“Then we have her for child endangerment and neglect as well.”

“I thought we had her for that already, considering that Gus has a bunch of bruises, not to mention one huge ass bite mark, and…”

Brian is getting worked up again, uttering every single word through gritted teeth. Both of us need him to calm down immediately, otherwise there’s no way we are going to be able to override Lindsay’s custody. In the court’s eyes, it would be like trading one unstable parent for another. “Brian, you need to calm the hell down. Look, we’re both upset…”

“I’m not upset, Mel. I’m pissed!” He yells, and this time I fire back without hesitation.

“Well, so am I!” Unfortunately, the brief sound of our raised voices has attracted the notice of both the law clerk and the judge’s secretary. So I take a calming breath, before lowering my voice again to address him. “Brian, regardless of how we both feel at the moment, the ONLY way we can retain our full custody of Gus is to remain calm and in control. This is not going to be easy for any of us. The only good thing is that this particular judge has worked with both Gabe and I before. But most importantly, he knows that if I’m guilty of anything in this case, it’s overextending myself by working all the hours that God sends in order to be able to provide for my family.”

“I kept asking if you needed help, Mel,” Brian breathes out, and it isn’t hard to hear the brokenness of in his voice that he’s trying so desperately to hide.

“I know, Brian. And I’m so sorry now that I didn’t take it the first time you offered it. I have no excuse or reason, except to say that my pride wouldn’t let you bail me out of the mess Lindsay and I made. To her, it would have just been one more thing to make you her hero, and for me, my villain. But what’s done is done, and I can’t take it back. All I can do is promise to do better; to BE better and do what’s right for Gus. And that is what we are going to do, Brian.”

He nods at me, and I know that I’ve broken through to that part of Brian he keeps so well-hidden. Beneath the tough exterior is that vulnerable little boy who was powerless to stop his own abuse. But he has to know- to realize- that just being here with us in this antechamber just guaranteed that Gus won’t be reared at the hands of another variation of Joan Kinney. Hmm, about that… “Brian, have you checked your phone at all?”

“Justin and I switched phones for the day, but why?”

“It’s just… I thought it was just some off-the-wall comment that Michael made to Lindsay when she had him on speakerphone the last time I know of that they talked.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He said that if it were up to him, he would have told Joan about Gus despite your wishes. But it wasn’t so much that he said he would’ve done it, but that Debbie’s name was mentioned immediately afterwards.”

“Oh fuck!”

“What?”

Brian closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, before answering me. “If Debbie is involved, then Joan already knows about Gus… or is about to anyway.”

“What makes you so sure?” Gabe asks the same question that I was about to.

“Because, although my mother and Deb can’t stand each other, Debbie still feels that Joan has the right to know what’s going on in my life. Somehow, she believes that an umbilical cord that was cut long ago still means that I owe Joan something, be it money, or in this case, an automatic in with my son. And who better to drive home the point of Gus missing out on having a grandmother than Lindsay? She would have played on the fact that Deb was more ‘Mom’ to me than Joan ever was, and that with Michael being Michael it was unlikely that Deb would ever have a grandchild blood-related to her. So, the duty of Gus knowing the other half of his biological family would fall to Debbie as Gus’ honorary grandmother. But more than that, if Joan and Debbie were to try to get along for Gus’ supposed sake, then they could also approach her mother with the intention of putting the screws to me to do what Lindsay wanted…”

“Meaning marry her?” Gabe asks, and Brian and I nod in response.

“That’s definitely what Nancy thought should have happened, even during my right dick-wrong hole night with Lindsay. But I think they all would have miscalculated where Gus was concerned in reference to Nancy. We all know that witch would rather tongue a twat than to acknowledge a grandchild not born in the way she would deem acceptable.”

“I don’t think it’s just that, Brian, but that she wouldn’t honor a grandchild that not Lynette’s.” At their puzzled look, I continue. “Lynette is everything that Nancy and Lindsay are not. And whereas Nancy may resent the hell out of Lynette for it, she also respects Lynette because she didn’t squander any opportunities away and is richer for it.”

“You mean she married her opportunities… the poor schmucks,” Brian huffs, but I have to correct him.

“Brian, remember what I told you when we went to Del’s about Lynette having a fortune, even before, during, and after her numerous marriages?” He nods. “Well, I never did tell you why each marriage even more pissed both Nancy and Lindsay off. It was because each of the men were higher and higher up the WASP food chain, in a place where The Petersons and Lindsay were never going to be able to reach.”

“You don’t mean…”

“Yes, I do. Her current husband is in the top tier, right alongside Justin’s family- Craig excluded. And the most telling thing about him is that whereas he may tolerate Ronald because of his financial planning business, he has absolutely no use for Nancy and Lindsay and has said so numerous times during various social functions where it wasn’t hard to be overheard. Lynette doesn’t argue with him, since she’s of the same mind that her husband is, and that hasn’t gone unnoticed either.”

“I never did ask you what Lindsay spent her fortune on.”

“Originally it was to pay off all her credit card debt, which she ran up again. That alone was a little more than thirty grand. But more than that, there were other expenses, including a stint in rehab which I made her go into, with the threat that if she ever started using again, we’d be through. She was scheduled to be there for three months.”

“Wait- when?” Brian gasped, and I knew that I couldn’t hide the truth from him.

“Remember that three-month long fellowship Lindsay had about three years ago?” He nods, and I close my eyes briefly before I level with him. “That was the cover story we’d given to everyone, when in reality she was supposed to be in rehab but…”

“But? What the hell was she doing, Mel?”

“Drugs, Brian,” I answer, resignedly. “She blew off the program, although I didn’t find out about it until later. As we’re both learning, little Miss Peterson can be quite the actress. She was all tears, tantrums, promises, and regrets when I dropped her off at the place we’d discussed her going to ad nauseum. However, instead of getting clean she spent the entire three months away, fluttering around Europe, mostly between Italy, Monte Carlo, and San Tropez, and then onto Brazil with her parents. Strange that they never picked up on her drug abuse even then, since according to her she was with them the entire time. I now know that to be a lie as well.”

“When did you find all of this out?”

“Ironically, it was courtesy of a UPS man about four months after her return. He’d thought it was just so wonderful that she was able to visit all the places he and his wife did. Once again, Lindsay had no idea that I was even in the house at the time. Since we only had one car, which she just needed to have for the day, she didn’t have a reason to think I was anywhere else but at work. After she closed the door and saw me standing there, she knew she was busted, but tried to blame me for her idiocy anyway.”

“Why didn’t you leave then?” Gabe asks me, and I have to wonder why I didn’t, too.

“I can’t really tell you why I didn’t. Perhaps it was just not wanting to admit that I failed, or maybe it was the realization that just as I found Lindsay lacking, she may have found something lacking in me as well. But I think with all these new revelations I’ve been having since I didn’t go through with my mistake, it was more that I didn’t want anyone to know that I left Leda for a woman who couldn’t love anyone, not even herself.” I fight back the tears that are once again threatening to fall. “Stupidity is a disease, and I think I caught it a long time ago.”

“If that’s the case then so is being human, Mel,” Brian says, and shrugs. “I mean, my bullshit detector has always been on point except when it came to Michael and Lindsay. And since you and Justin absolutely refuse to let me denigrate myself for having faith in the two people who should have come with warning signs, I think it’s safe for you to let yourself off the hook as well.”

“If it makes you feel any better, she was clean for about a year before we started asking you for your Gus-makers. It all started off with her just wanting something and someone to fill the void in her life. At least that’s what she told me, but then she became fixated on the fact that it just had to be you.”

Brian closed his eyes again, obviously replaying all of Lindsay’s flattery and bullshit innuendos that ultimately got her what she wanted most… a blood-tie to Brian. “I still can’t regret having Gus, but… in retrospect, I can honestly say that I almost wish it was you who had him, Mel.”

I can’t help but giggle. “I think the world should be thanking God that it wasn’t, Brian. I try not to actually fulfill any of the prophecies in the Bible, and that particularly goes for birthing the Antichrist.”

All of us laugh at that reference, which is how Judge Barrows found us. “Good morning, All. Sorry to have kept you waiting. It’s already been a bitch of a morning, having to repay a favor to Judge Hudson. Why he chose today of ALL days to call out is beyond all that is good and right in this world. Anyway, I did manage to get some information on your case, Ms. Marcus.”

We follow him into his large office, each of us taking the plush seats lined up in front of his desk. Gabriel asks the question that is plaguing all of us, even as Barrows takes an appreciative sip of his coffee. By the smell in here, I can just about guess that he’s had three of them already. “And what have you found out?” Gabe asks, barely curbing his own impatience in anticipation.

“That Mr. Kinney is a wanted man, and Ms. Peterson has been a very busy girl… and for a long time, too.”

MICHAEL:

FINALLY! FREEDOM! is how I feel at being let out of jail after what has been possibly the longest fucking night of my life. Between Earl, the smelly drunk in the corner, who made me feel as if I’d entered the seventh circle of hell every time he breathed in my direction, and the most assholish judge this morning, who also brought up the reckless driving charge I got when David had given me that gold Miata, this has been the most trying experience of my life, other than not being able to reach Brian again. As soon as I was told that my bail was six-hundred, and that I was being charged another two-hundred for the moving violation and court fees, I’d tried to call him so that he could pay it, since technically it’s all his fault that I ended up in jail in the first place. But, as usual lately, the phone went straight to voicemail. So then I called both Emmett and Ted to tell them that I needed to be bailed out, and they told me to call my Ma. 

I don’t know what crawled up their asses, but needless to say, I didn’t take their advice. So now I’m officially out eight-hundred dollars, and I intend to get that money back right now. I thought about going home to take a shower first, but no. I think Brian should have to not only face the fact that due to his neglect I’ve spent the night in jail, but he should have to smell it too. That should teach him about not answering his fucking phone when I call him from now on! 

I arrive at the building where Brian works, only to see some guys putting up a new sign. Ryder-Vanguard Agency. I can’t help the smile that graces my face, thinking that Lindsay has finally done something RIGHT! I guess greasing both the palms and her knees with the right person has officially killed Brian’s dreams of moving to New York. Instead, he’ll be staying right here in good ol’ Pittsburgh where she and I can keep a close eye on him.

As I enter the building, I can’t help but feel the excitement coursing through me. Of course, I’ll have to play the sympathetic friend. I mean, after all, Brian’s dreams of leaving this particular job has officially been crushed. But then I can bring up the fact that I’ve moved back for good, and that should cheer him up. I mean, who was Captain Astro without Galaxy Ladd, or Batman without Robin? Every hero needs his sidekick by his side, and Brian’s no different.

Before I reach the front desk, I see that bitch Cynthia lugging a medium sized box. I certainly hope that means what I think it means, and that the loud-mouth heifer has been fired. I make my way across the lobby to gloat. “Ah, Cynthia. Going somewhere?”

She narrows her eyes at me, looking at me as if she would like nothing better than to squash me like a bug. But I don’t let it get to me. Hopefully, they will give Brian a better assistant than this bitchy wannabe. “Home to take a shower since being in your presence stinks.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Cynthia. Bitterness doesn't look good on you. Besides, I would think that you would be more aware of your surroundings. I mean, if I was your bosses- oh, I mean ex bosses- I would be worried about how you speak to people. It could mean the difference between you getting a better job or remaining unemployed for a long time.”

She rolls her eyes at me before responding. “And just what are you doing here, Michael? I thought that you moved to Portland where you could actually get paid for being the useless toad you are. Guess David got tired of supporting you, huh?” 

She chuckles, and I just want to deck her. Instead, I yell, “It’s not funny, Cynthia!”

“Sure it is, since it seems that a lot of people are getting what I’ve been saying about you for as long as I’ve had the displeasure of knowing your name.”

“Yeah… and what’s that?”

“That Debbie should have learned to swallow faster instead of birthing you. But that’s beside the point. Again, what do you want?”

“I wanna see Brian.”

“Well, that’s too bad, since he’s not here.”

“What do you mean, he’s not here?! I need him to give me back my money!”

“What money?”

“The bail money I just had to pay to get me out of jail,” I blurted, and immediately wish I hadn’t. She’s actually laughing now, while all of the other people in the lobby stop and stare at us. “Shut up! It’s not funny!”

“Oh yes, it really is! It’s about time someone put your crooked ass where you belong. For years, you’ve been swindling people out of their money, beginning with your own mother. And here your pathetic ass is coming in here again, getting ready to try to guilt Brian into giving your sorry ass another handout. Well, I’m happy to inform you that there won’t be anymore gravy train for you little lapdog or for your bitch of a master. Brian doesn’t work here anymore, and even if he did, you STILL wouldn’t be allowed upstairs to try your tricks. So why don’t you take your funk-ridden behind somewhere else and figure out your own life. The rest of us have much better things to do than solve your problems for you.”

Wait! Did she just say… “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT BRIAN DOESN’T WORK HERE ANYMORE?! LINDSAY PROMISED…”

“She promised what, Michael?” Cynthia asks me, softly. But it’s the look in her eyes that is giving me pause.

“I...I… I have to go,” I answer, turning towards the glass doors of the main entrance.

“You do that… And might I advise that you head straight to the nearest shower. You really DO stink.”

“Go to Hell, Cynthia!”

“Why should I when you already smell like sulfur, fire, and brimstone? I sure as fuck wouldn’t want to be anywhere that reminds me of you right now. So go home to your Mommy, Michael. I’m sure she will be happy to have your bath drawn and your rubber ducky ready for you to play with. I mean, since I doubt you have anything else.”

Sadly, it wasn’t until I was out the door running and halfway to Ma’s to tell her the news of Brian not working at Ryder anymore, before I finally understood Cynthia’s words. She just called me dickless! In front of a lobby full of laughing people… one of whom was… OH THAT FUCKING BITCH!!!

CYNTHIA:

Oh that was more FUN than I anticipated! I’m so glad that I intercepted that little toad before he had a chance to attempt to charm his way upstairs. 

“Ready, Cyn?” Leda asks me, as she takes the box from my hands.

I chuckle, “More than a little ready. I’m so damn happy that he wasn’t able to see Ryder.”

“What makes you think he would have wanted to?”

“Well, I’m sure that you know about Ms. Plan’s machinations… well, you’ve just witnessed her obsequious little toad’s departure. No doubt that he’s halfway to his Ma’s house to complain and prepare another stupid pet trick in an attempt to stop Brian from living his life. Any word from him or Mel yet?”

“Not yet, although I know that they were supposed to meet Thomas Gabriel at the courthouse this morning to have the bitch’s rights permanently removed.”

“Good! They should have done so from the beginning instead of trying to co-parent with Lindsay. Right now, I’m just glad that Ryder said that I didn’t have to honor the agreement to work out the last two weeks.”

“And you’re just going to accept that?”

“Absolutely.” She and I moved quickly out of the lobby just before she asked her next question.

“But what about Brian’s clients who are still with the company?”

“None of them are, Leeds, with the exception of Liberty Air. And that contract will be up in about nine more months.”

“What the… Did you...?”

“I didn’t. However, Brian’s new partners are all atwitter to have lassoed the new advertising Dream Team that they couldn’t keep it to themselves. So, as so often happens within our set, they told another and another, and a sister and a brother, and VOILA!”

“Oh shit!”

“What?”

“I think I want to go to the Diner today,” Leda tells me, smiling.

“Why?”

“Because when mealy-mouth Novotny spills the beans to Mama Bear and Lindsay, you KNOW that their explosion about it is going to happen there.”

I laugh, catching onto her way of thinking. “And there will certainly be a powder keg in the form of Justin’s best friend coolly lying in wait for them to set her off.”

“And we know that they will, because Heaven forbid that any of them ever suffer in silence.” Both Leda and I laugh in anticipation of watching young Daphne Chanders in action. If she’s anything like Brian or Justin, this particular shitstorm is going to be worth the price of admission. I look over at Leda, typing away on her phone. “What are you doing?”

“Oh nothing… well, nothing except letting Mel know where we will be for after they leave the courthouse,” she tells me as she heads over to her Harley.

I laugh heartily as I got into my car and started the ignition. Shaking my head, all I can think is:

God, I have REALLY missed my sister!